Here we are, another Christmas Eve.
This Christmas Eve will be my first without Bill.
I just got off the phone with the wife of my cousin who died four and a half years ago. I know she was very close to her husband, as Bill and I were to each other. In fact we both took trips together to my father's birthplace (my cousin Bob's father was one of my father's brothers) in North Carolina.
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| My cousin and his wife from our trip to North Carolina in 2013 |
Today I had just received a Christmas card (one of those sparkly cards I love). I'm feeling very lonely tonight (of course) so I thought I would take a chance and call her. She was home. We had a nice conversation. Hard to believe that her husband died four and half years ago, it just seems like last year that he passed on. She told me she is still dealing with the loss, as I am still struggling with my loss of Bill. I have to admit it was a little depressing to know that four years from now I will still be grieving for Bill's loss. By now I know that I will be grieving for the rest of my life for Bill. This is the price of true love. Bill was the love of my life.
What am I doing for Christmas? I'm just spending the day here at Casa Tipton-Kelly alone. And that's the way I prefer to spend this first Christmas without Bill. I know Bill's spirit is with me. As is this DjMora's playlist. This music may not appeal to everybody but it does give me comfort.
I hope wherever you are and whether our alone or will your loved ones, you all have a very happy Christmas.
4 comments:
Merry Christmas, Ron! I know this will be a difficult day but I hope you find some peace with all those memories of Bill from years past. I don't think we every stop missing our loved ones.
Have a peaceful day, Ron. Bill's loving spirit will be with you.
.....and everyone who knows you will be sending loving thoughts your way. Take care.
Thank you Elle. You are very kind and thoughtful.
Thank you Jon. You are right, Bill's living spirit is with me and will always be with me to the end of my days in this physical form them we will be reunited again in our spirit form.
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