Mailbox Trashed....Again

 

My trashed mailbox

Yes, my mailbox was trashed again. This is the third time. 

This time the culprit was the Amazon van driver. 

At least he admitted it. He said Amazon will "take care of it in a few days." 

I was napping when the accident occurred. Of course it happened when he was trying to turn his van around in my driveway. 

I have warned those drivers time and time again NOT TO TURN THEIR VANS around in my driveway. 

I don't get it.

In our development we get a LOT of deliveries. From Amazon and from FED EX, UPS and the U. So Post Office. They all, except Amazon, deliver from the right. They turn around in the cul de sac at the end of our road to deliver on the side of the development where our house is. 

This past summer I've seen different Amazon drivers struggling to turn around in my driveway and my neighbor's driveways after they make a delivery.  Twice I went out and confronted the drivers and suggested to them to use the cul de sac. One young girl looked at me like I just stepped off a spaceship and drove off without saying anything. 

I tried calling the Amazon distribution headquarters but only succeeding in entering a labyrinth of transfers of phone calls ending up with NOTHING. Never could connect with a live person. 

Now I'll await to see just how long it will take Amazon to fix this mailbox.

This is the third time I've had our mailbox destroyed. 

One was by my neighbor at the end of the cul de sac (he has Alzheimer's) who drove a little too close to our mailbox when he was driving out (yes, he WAS DRIVING). Ironically he was walking his dog yesterday when I was examining the damage to my mailbox. He asked what happened.......three times. Finally, I was so frustrated I just stopped telling him and his wife led him away with his dog. 

The second time I had my mailbox totaled was by one of my lawn care guys. He ran his fertilizer spreader into my mailbox. He said he would replace it but I sensed that he was expecting me to say "Oh no, that's alright I'll take care of it" which I didn't of course. And of course he is no longer my lawn care provider. He was the father of the owner of the lawn care business. Our relationship when downhill from there after that crash.

By the way, the same day my mailbox was trashed (yesterday, December 29th) was the same day Pat had his $1,200 bicycle stolen from his back deck in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Yesterday was Pat's 75th birthday. We'll both remember where we were on December 29th, 2023.

By the way, Pat has the video of the thief stealing his bike early in the morning while Pat slept on the other side of the wall. It took the thief over an hour and a half to steal Pat's bike. He came with tools. He's done it before. Of course you can't identify him on the video with his hoodie on. Like I said, he's done this before. Pat has one of those Ring Doorbell like videos installed on his back deck. The thief knew enough to turn off the motion detector light but apparently didn't consider that the video has its own light. Not as bright as the motion detector light but enough to see the thief. 

Christmas 56 Years Ago

 

Me, Christmas 1967 Philadelphia, PA

This picture was taken in 1967 at our apartment at Cheswick Square in Roxborough (Philadelphia) Pennsylvania. 

I think it was me and Bill's third Christmas together. I was really into the whole Christmas gig then. Presents under the tree, tinsel on the tree.

At that time this picture was taken I was working at Girard Bank in Philadelphia in the Trust Operations Department. I was a remittance clerk. I sent out the checks and statements for trust beneficiary customers, of which I was not. I started that job at $70.00 a week. Our rent on that two bedroom apartment was $145 a month. There was also a pool in the apartment complex. All may life I wanted to live in a place with a pool. I got to enjoy that pool for two seasons until it was taken over by the kiddies. The frustrating thing about the kiddies taking over the pool was that most of them didn't even live at Cheswick Square, they were "invited guests." Growing up I always dreamed of swimming in a real pool. I'm still dreaming that dreams. Briefly, when Pat and I were seriously considering moving to Palm Springs California, I thought "Now a pool!" But I've changed my mind, I'm staying at Casa Tipton-Kelly here in southern Delaware. The taxes are low, and I have a wonderful almost an acre back year. Some of my neighbors have a pool but I never see anyone using those pools. I probably wouldn't either, the "pool season" is so short here in southern Delaware 

We only stayed at Cheswick for two years. When it came time to sign a new yearly lease, the apartment rental went up to $165 a month. I had always wanted to live in a real house, and preferably center city Philadelphia so I could walk to work and the bars. 

We found a nice row house on the edge of center city Philly for $27,000 which I thought was SO EXPENSIVE. We put $5,000 down and had a twenty year mortgage for $119 a month. For the first two weeks after signing the purchase agreement I was sick to my stomach, think I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Of course I didn't. We lived at 24th and Naudain Street for eleven years, selling our house for $98,000. We built at new house in Downingtown on seven acres of land. We purchased the land for $25,000 and built the house for $100,000. We lived there for twenty-five years until we could no longer afford Pennsylvania's conficcatory school real estate taxes and sold the house for $500,000 in 2006. By the way, that cute little row house in center city Philly is now worth over $800,000

When we lived there we were on the edge of black Philadelphia. Now the whole area is gentrified. Million dollar abodes all over that area now, we couldn't afford to live there now. Delaware will always be my home until I depart this dear life.

As you can tell by this wordy post, I don't have anything on TV now. The coverage is all retrospectives of what went on last year. I KNOW WHAT WENT ON LAST YEAR.

Have a good evening everyone. I'm going to try and find a movie on Netflix that doesn't open with one of those kitchen counter sex scenes.

Christmas Day 2023

Dinner last night, cubed steak with mushroom gravy, homemade mashed potatoes with steamed broccoli (not pictured a Royal Farms biscuit) - I make meals for myself way better than any restaurant meal

Christmas 2023 is almost over. 

I am writing this blog entry at 7:20 PM Monday evening. 

I like Christmas and but I am also glad when it is over. Enough already with all the St. Jude TV ads begging for money and the poor dogs out in the snow freezing for the ASPCA ads also begging for money. All worthy charities I'm sure but I am sick to death of seeing those ads and Marlo Thomas and her Exorcist voice (how old is she now anyway, one hundred)? And we just finished the bombardments of the Medicare health insurance ads that finally gave up the ghost December 7th, the cutoff date to change your health insurance provider. Now for the Dead Time between Christmas and New Years, when all the regular folks on TV are on (well deserved I'm sure) vacations with their families and the second tier of anchors replay the endless rehashes of "what happened last year." I know already what happened. Then it all ends with the goofy duo of Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen bringing in the new year. I wonder if Andy Cohen (the wunderkind who brought us the "Real Housewives" so called reality shows) will be sober this year. He is so goofy. NOT FUNNY. For that matter Kathy Whatshername wasn't that funny either but then she got herself kicked off that annual New Year's gig with the giggling Anderson Cooper when she posed with a dummy severed head of Trump. Now that really wasn't funny Kathy Griffin. I hate Trump but even for me that was a bit too much.

I'm venting folks. I have to every now and then. Like a pot of boiling water on the stove, I have to "take the lid off" every now and then. I think I'm beginning to get too jaded.

I know I'm getting jaded with watching streaming movies on Netflix. As I said before so many of them seen to have the "required" sex scenes (often the opening scene) of the couple rushing in the house, stripping each other's clothes off and lifting the woman on the kitchen counter and f-cking the daylights out of her. That is getting SO OLD folks. Now what I was watching last night? "Imitation of Life", the 1934 version with Claudette Colbert and Warren William. It is actually a very good movie and refreshing to watch a movie with a real story with real actors and none of the humping on the kitchen counter. Can you imagine the classy Claudette Colbert in a scene like that? I tell you, I'm no prude but I am so sick of those scenes in todays' movie. Now how did I get on this subject since I'm wring about Christmas Day 2023? You know me, I start writing my blog an let it go wherever it leads me.

Today was very quiet. I took Bill for his (our) ride down Oyster Rocks Road. There were only two motorcyclists down there. I suspect those motorcycles were Christmas presents.

My kind neighbor invited me over to his place where his extended family was visiting (six cars outside) for "snacks and conversation." I like him and his family but ...uh....no. That's not my thing and besides it's his family and I would only be intruding. But it was very kind of him to invite me. He used to visit Bill but since Bill's strokes he hasn't been over. It's hard to hold a conversation with Bill. He's so easily confused these days and he is hard of hearing. Instead I took an extended nap this afternoon. It was a gray day outside anyway, good day for napping.

I have a feeling this is my last Christmas with Bill. He has that feeling too. I'm going to hate to take down our aluminum Christmas trees. Bill asked me to keep them up. I don't know about that. Having a Christmas tree up now with all the sparking lights is one thing when it's dark early like it is this time of year but during the summer it's another whole thing. I think I'll look for something else to provide colorful lights for Bill to see. I'm open for suggestions.

Time for diner now then a visit to the Tipton Cinema. 

Christmas Eve 2023

 

Pat with his friend Paul and Deb,  Christmas 2023

Good morning folks! 

Here we are at another Christmas Eve. Is it me or does each year seem to go by faster as we grow older? 

The photo above is Pat and his friends Paul and Deb. Every year at Christmastime Paul and Deb invite Pat to help them pick out a Christmas tree and have a Christmas dinner with them. This is a nice annual tradition they have. Paul is one of Pat's fellow band members. They're very good friends. I visited Paul and Deb with Pat several years ago. They have a lovely home in Port Dover, Ontario, Canada. And they are lovely people. Pat doesn't take photos like I do. I had to urge him to take a selfie picture of the three of them with Deb's Christmas tree behind them. Pat put his iPhone on a time and viola! Here is the result, a memory for the ages. 

Today would have been my Mom's 100th birthday. My Mother didn't quite make it to 87 years old. She was the youngest of five children. Her Mother died when my Mom wasn't yet two years old. I was lucky, I had my Mom for seventy years. I've been lucky in many ways, I have had Bill for fifty-nine years now. 

What's planned for today? Just a quiet Christmas Eve. This morning I was working outside a bit, cutting back a holly tree that is trying to grow through out back deck. Having a house, it's always a challenge to keep plants from swallowing up the house. 

While I was out back I saw my widower neighbor Bob on his back deck with his dog and his son-in-law. Just about his whole extended family is visiting him for Christmas. They invited me over later to have snacks with them. I don't think I'll go but I appreciate the invitation. I'm not into those big socializations, especially families. This is their holiday celebration. They don't need an old guy who lives next door intruding on their family celebration. 

Yesterday I made grasshopper pie for the first time in almost twenty-five years. It's still a production number (probably why I haven't made it in so long) but oh so delicious! It's one of those light, subtle pies you keep in the freezer. The only thing missing was the green food coloring but the taste was still heavenly.

My hope is for  you all to have a wonderful Christmas however you plan on spending it.

Christmas 2023

 

The Christmas Tree at the VA Outpatient clinic in Georgetown yesterday. Brought tears to my eyes. I'm just too damn emotional.

This year as in many years past, Christmas will be a quiet affair here at Casa Tipton-Kelly.

Perhaps the only difference is that for the third year in a row I won't be working Christmas Day at the hotel. Since I became Bill's full-time caregiver in January of 2021, I haven't returned to my hotel front desk job at the boutique hotel in Lewes, Delaware.  Of course I miss my job at the hotel (I've been working there since April of 2007), but taking care of Bill is my first priority.

Bill and I stopped exchanging gifts perhaps about forty years ago. We have everything we need, no need to buy more stuff just because of tradition dictates that we must buy a gift at Christmastime. One tradition we always had though was exchanging Christmas cards but we stopped that about five years ago when Bill lost his sight to macular degeneration.

Even though Bill and I don't exchange Christmas cards I do continue the tradition of sending out Christmas cards, although the number of cards I send each year is decreasing. Lately each year I've been losing some of my longtime Christmas card senders. I have to assume they have passed on as Bill and I will someday. That day is coming folks, that is a for certain. I have a feeling that next year either Bill or I will be alone but I won't dwell on that inevitability.

There have been a few times this Christmas season that the Black Dog arrived on my doorstep but he didn't stay long. I think by putting up a Christmas tree (two actually) this year I have kept the Black Dog at bay. Oh he keeps coming around the neighborhood, like just a few minutes ago. I was on FaceTime with Pat as I am several times during the day. While I was catching up with him with the "what are you doing?" his doorbell rang. It was a neighbor bearing Christmas fudge with "high octane sugar." Pat lives in a nice little house (568 square feet) in downtown Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. He's gone from his penthouse condo on the thirteen floor of the Royal Connaught Hotel. Pat has all kinds of friends and neighbors who are seeing to him this Christmas season. I live vicariously through his Christmas activities by asking him to take pictures and videos. Perhaps someday I can visit him again in Canada. I certainly hope so.

This month of December has been taken up with my various and sundry yearly doctors appointments. This morning I had to get up at the God Awful Hour of 4:30 AM for my 7 AM annually appointment at my dermatologist.

First to arrive at my dermatologist's office this morning. Nice marble floor!

What was I thinking when I made that appointment last year for 7 AM in the morning? I hate driving in the dark but that's just what I did this morning. Even with my cataract surgery, I still have trouble driving in the dark. Everything seems to be headlights. Dangerous driving for me. My visit this morning resulted in six burn offs of keratosis spots on my whole body from head (ear) to foot Been doing this for forty years now folks. Last year I finally had skin cancer (on my ear) but, thankfully, the year only the keratosis. 

Yesterday was my annual appointment for labs at the VA. Next week I see my VA doctor for the results. I also see the VA podiatrist. Last week I saw my urologist. I got the all clear again on my PSA and kidney stones. Perhaps I have another year to make a difference on this planet. Earlier I saw my cardiologist. Again, I got the all clear and that aneurism that he was concerned about apparently disappeared. More good news! The bad news is that I have trouble walking. I probably looked pretty pitiful when my name was called yesterday at the VA Outpatient Clinic in Georgetown when I had trouble getting up then I hobbled in to get my needle. I had to take off my jacket and hoodie. I was embarrassed when I had trouble putting my hoodie and jacket back on. The nurse had to help me after seeing I was struggling. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was all smug about walking regular and seeing the other vets struggling walking back to their appointments. Well, I'm there now.

After I finish with these annual doctor appointments I planned to coast through the ensuing cold winter months.  In the past I had my annual two week trip to the welcoming warm sunshine of Palm Springs California with Pat. Again, this year I have to take a pass at Modernism Week and new adventures with Pat. When I start feeling sorry for myself all I have to do is watch the news and see all those people in the world who are suffering like those in Israel and the Gaza Strip. My heart breaks for those Israelis who have lost loved ones and also for those Palestinians who are suffering so much with Israels retaliation against them ("collective punishment"). 

I have it pretty damn good here and for that I am thankful.

So to one and all, if you're with family this Christmas or just home alone, have a wonderful Christmas and beware of that high octane fudge! As for me, I'm watching the latest Bradley Cooper movie "Maestro" tonight.

Random Thoughts On A Rainy Monday Morning

 Last night as I slipped into my flannel sheets on my memory foam mattress, I was comforted by the howling winds outside my bedroom windows. 

A little "Ron Prose" this rainy Monday morning folks!

I've settled back into my stay at home caretaker routine after that brief, welcome interlude from my Canadian friend Pat of Hamilton, Ontario. His visit refreshed my mind that there is life outside of caregiving, after caregiving should I ever get there.

I have to admit I was a bit down after he left but now I'm back on track. 

Last night I finally found a good movie, "A Man Called Otto", the Tom Hanks movie. Sure, it was schmaltzy but that's what I needed at this time of my life. Coincidentally I just finished watching the Netflix series "After Life" with the British comedian Ricky Gervais. Both dealt with widowers coping with life after the death of their wives. The Ricky Gervais series prominently featured his brand of humor which I like. Sure, his "humor" was a little over the top at times but I didn't mind. That's British humor, not necessarily constrained by political correctness as our American humor which goes to great pains not to offend anybody. Both of these movie character considered suicide as a solution to end their pain of their loss. Something we have all considered at one time or another, haven't we? I know I have. But then I remind myself that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 

Speaking of movies, do you know how hard it is to find an American movie that doesn't include over the top sex scenes? I'm talking about the ones that has the couple, as soon as they get inside the house they start ripping their clothes off and the half naked woman gets hoisted up on the kitchen counter to be penetrated by the male actor? God, I am SO TIRED of those scenes. I'm not a prude, but man oh man. Stop with those scenes already. They are SO BORING. I don't find them sexy at all. Do you? Does anybody? Oh sure, maybe thirteen year old boys. Also, I don't need to see any more scenes of these actors sitting on toilets taking a dump while they're acting. 

Bill just came in to interrupt me from my "blog flow." He had to tell me he's cleaning out our stairwell to our cellar. God, how often does he tell me this? Over and over. And over.  We have a drainage in the stairwell. It takes care of all the excess water. But he still feels the need to tell me. Of course he goes out there in his house clogs. I clean his clogs off ever morning but he still dirties them up by going out in our cellar stairwell to clean out imaginary leaves.  

How's Bill doing? Health wise he's stabilized. But his mental capacity continues to slip. He has dreams and hallucinations at night. The next morning he forgets them. I check in on him several times during the night and he almost always is stressed out from some dream or a hallucination. Last night he said he had a dream so bad he couldn't even tell me about it. 

While Pat was here Bill had almost convinced himself that I was going to "run away with Pat." It took quite a bit of effort on my part to bring him back to earth and reality. 

One of Bill's big problems is that he's always been busy and now that his physical capacity is limited and he can't see (macular degeneration), he's lost. He doesn't know what to do with himself. Usually I'm successful (lately anyway) in convincing him to listen to me so he doesn't make my life harder taking care of him. This morning he wanted tacks. Yes, tacks. Oh sure, I'm going to give him tacks so he can drop them on the floor. He wanted the tacks to take on the wall every time he completed a loop in the basement during his morning walks. I thought I had him convinced to count his walks by giving him fifteen quarters to put in his hand. Every time he completed a loop around our basement room he would drop one fo the quarters in a bowl. When he was out of quarters his morning "walk" was completed. The walk is good for him because the walking keeps the circulation going in his legs and lessens his edema in his lower legs and the water skin boils that often accompany the edema. 

I think it's time for out daily ride now folks. We haven't been out in the past two days. I wasn't going to go out today because this major east coast rain storm isn't quite finished yet but I have to get Bill out of the house before he comes up with any more crazy ideas like the tacks.

Christmas Blues

Pat greeting Bill upon his arrival last week

Notice that I've been absent these past few days?

I've been trying to determine why I'm a little down since Pat left. 

Of course I miss him. Pat and I get along so great. In the past, before COVID and I began caregiving for Bill, Pat and I got together every three months. That was fabulous. We had time together and then we had time alone. Both Pat and I are solitary people. We prefer living alone, which is interesting in my case since I've lived with Bill these past fifty-nine years.

That wasn't my choice to live with Bill. Sure, I liked being friends with him but I wanted to live alone. Having grown up in a "Grand Central Station" household, I couldn't wait until I got out in life on my own. I was twelve years old when I realized I wanted to live alone. As soon as I could get away from home, I did.

When I met Bill he wanted me to live with him. I didn't want to, just wanted to "remain friends." I've told this story before but I told Bill he "wasn't the one." He said he understood that but he wanted me to still live with him. He had no restrictions on me and he good to his word and he has never held restrictions on me. Even during Pat's past visit last week, Bill was accommodating. I can't say he was totally happy. He likes Pat and Pat likes him but he does prefer just us in our house. Actually it doesn't matter who is here, Bill prefers just me and him in our home. But he is accommodating. Always has been. That's probably why I've been with him so long.

Maybe a bit awkward this time

Since Pat and I haven't been getting together every three months, I sort of get used to just seeing him on FaceTime or Zoom. Then when he visit, the separation is much more acute. And I have to say, I think I miss him more than he misses me. Pat is even more solitary than I am. 

So this past week I've been a bit down in the dumps. Having Pat visit, spending time with him at some of the local attractions, watching movies together, eating out; I miss those activities with Pat now. I guess I'm in withdrawal. 

But there are way more important things in this world than my little petty feeling sorry for myself grievances. Just to let you all know why I haven't been blogging lately. Give me a couple more weeks and I'll be back to normal.   

Pat Has Left

Pat left early yesterday morning. 

He was here for five glorious days.

What a wonderful and welcome break from my regular routine!

Pat surprised me with his visit. 

It's not too often that I'm surprised and when I have been surprised it usually isn't good. This was a good surprise.

So, what did we do?

As usual when Pat and I get together we don't have any definite plans but everything seems to flow smoothly. 

We just enjoy each other's company.

The first night here he wanted to see the new Godzilla movie. Pat likes to go to the movie theater. Me not so much. Too many distractions, people talking, getting there, the cost, and the need for bathroom breaks without the ability to pause the movie. But when I go to the movies with Pat, I enjoy the theater because I am with him. 

How was the movie? Goofy but good special effects. Overacted, I was expecting to see Kenneth Branagh anytime appear to chew up the scenery but the Japanese actors performed quite well with the scenery chewing. 

Pat and me leaving the movie theater after see Godzilla

Did Godzille scare me? Well, no. Godzilla is still a man in a rubber suit but fun to watch stepping on buses and cars and swatting at skyscrapers. 

The rest of the week we visited many of the local attractions that the Lewes and Rehoboth Beach area has to offer. These are places I never go to on my own. 

What a wonderful week with a wonderful friend!

Thank you Pat for  you kindness and generosity.

Pat, a kind and generous man. My friend.

Week Off

Pat and Ron at the new Godzilla movie!

 

Hey folks, I'm off for a week. Pat paid me a surprise visit. He's leaving this Saturday. Things will be back to normal then.

See you next week or this weekend!

Christmas Card Time - Address Request

 Good morning folks! 

It's that time of year again, sending out Christmas cards.

Bill checking out the Christmas cards at a local shop some years ago

This year I am making a special request. I would like to send Christmas cards to those followers of my blog who regularly comment on my blog.

I so appreciate your comments that share your experiences with me in response to some of my blog postings.

Those whose addresses I am requiting are:

Woody in Ohio

Paranormal John

Jim (in Texas).

I already have Victor's address.

You guys can send your address to my e-mail as below:

ronstales@aol.com

Do me this favor guys. I want to show my appreciation to you for your regular fellowship of my blog and sharing your experiences with me. You are my friends and I want to personally express my wishes for you to have a wonderful holiday season.

Thank you!

Ron Does Turkey

 

My finished Butterball turkey breast yesterday

Longtime followers of this blog know I like turkey.

Not all the time but around "The Holidays" I do like a good slice of dry (yes, "dry") white meat turkey.

You all know we don't do holiday dinners here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. Bill doesn't have any teeth and I'm not going to cook up a big meal just for moi.

Each year I look in askance when I see those turkey dinners being served from aluminum pans to the homeless by local politicians doing their goodwill thing during "The Holidays". Mostly those people they're serving turkey with all the fixings are homeless or older poor people who have no family. Well, I do qualify in the latter category. Dare I say I'm to the only one who experiences these feelings during "The Holidays." Even some of the readers of this blog may experience similar feelings. Maybe one years I'll show up at the local feel good charity feeding station and get my turkey dinner, with all the fixings. But this year I tried to make my own turkey dinner.

I wasn't planning on making a Thanksgiving turkey. I actually stumbled into roasting a turkey. I happened to be at my local fav supermarket and I saw fresh turkeys drastically marked down. And I mean DRASTIC. The price of turkeys and all that turkey always dissuaded me from actually buying a real turkey to cook. But this time I couldn't pass up the opportunity. 

I saw a bin of fresh, not frozen turkey breasts. I'm a white meat kind of guy, no dark meat for me, thank you. I grew up only allowed to eat drumsticks and wings and backs and even the tail; my father got a real kick out of that. My father was a cruel, sadistic man who loved to humiliate me but that's another story for another time. 

The price of these turkey breasts was marked down from $30 plus to $5.00! I got a five pound turkey for $5.35! That's cheaper than a McDonald hamburger and vastly better for me. And the turkey was a Butterball. All I had to do was unwrap it and put that bird in the oven and bake a couple hours at 325 degrees.

I snatched up that turkey and brought it home. I calculated I could make at least eight meals out of this turkey, and all white meat. My father would probably turn over in his grave if he knew that.

Yesterday I read the instructions. The instructions said to "rub the outside with olive oil." I'm a butter kind of guy but olive oil it is. I found out later that was a BIG MISTAKE.

I roasted the turkey. The finished product came out great. Nicely browned (as you can see from the photo) and tasty. I cooked a little longer than recommended because I like DRY turkey meat. You can have your juicy meat, I prefer dry.  

I didn't salt or pepper the turkey because the instructions told me the Butterball was already seasoned. Well, I could have seasoned it. I like salt and pepper. Not too much mind you but just enough to give the meat a boost in flavor. I will next time. 

I didn't have much in the way of "fixings" except Stove Top Turkey Stuffing which is enough for me. I had homemade cranberry sauce that's been sitting in my refrigerator since last year (yes, since LAST YEAR). I had to throw out that cranberry sauce. Didn't taste too good even though there was no green fuzz on it. An abundance of sugar can go just so far in maintaining flavor.

The turkey meat was very tasty though. I got my annual Turkey Fix which is what I was after. 

Now came time to deconstruct the turkey and freeze the leftover in individual freezer bags for future meals. That I did quite successfully. I now have eight more meals. Pretty good for $5.35 eh?

Deconstructed turkey

Now I had this grand idea to make turkey soup out of the remaining stripped turkey carcass. After all there was still some meat on the bones of this poor sacrificial bird. Bad idea. 

This morning I took the turkey carcass and placed it in the biggest pot I have here at Casa Tipton-Kelly. 

I covered the carcass in water, turned the heat up and proceeded to boil off the remaining meat and make some turkey broth for soup. Bad idea.

It was the smell. A strange and other worldly smell.

It was the look of the water. Murkey and frothy.

I decided to give it awhile and continued to boil that turkey carcass another forty-five minutes or so. Now our whole open area of kitchen/sun room/living room was stinking pretty bad. If I kept "cooking" this turkey carcass THAT smell was going to seep into my bedroom which is right around the corner from our kitchen. 

That's it! I took the pot off the stove with the murkey frothy water and the now gray turkey carcass and tossed this whole mess out in our back yard for the local vultures. They're not as picky as I am and they haven't had a treat from me since I stopped tossing out the BJ's rotisserie chicken carcasses that I used to buy with regularity. 

Never again will I cook a turkey (or chicken) carcass. It's going to take several days for THAT smell of boiling a dead bird's bones out of this house. 

Oh and don't let me forget to tell you what a mess my oven was after roasting an olive oil smeared turkey without a covering. The instructions said "Don't cover". I didn't. I got a nicely browned turkey but I don't eat the skin anyway. What I also got was a baked on grease oven. 

Oven backing soda cleaning solution

Last night I made up my homemade solution to clean that baked on grease from my previously almost pristine oven. That solution is baking soda, Dawn dishwashing liquid and apple cider vinegar. No chemical smell of Easy Off for me, thank you.

I applied that foam last night and let it sit over night in my oven. I cleaned it out this morning. Took a long time. A.LONG.TIME. 

In the future folks I will bake my Butterball covered.

I hate cleaning ovens.

But I do like white meat turkey. Dry.

Basement Bathroom Toilet Repair Update

"Jimmy" the plumber finishing up installing the new pump for Bill's toilet.

 Good news folks, our basement bathroom toilet now works! 

We got lucky yesterday when "Jimmy" the plumber called and said he was able to get the new pump.

He came yesterday and installed it. 

It works!

Next!

Thanksgiving 2023 - A Test of My Limits

The "pan" that collects the toilet matter and pumps it up the pipe out to our septic tank. The paper towels are there to soak up the overflow when the ball didn't work. Ugh.

Well folks, we had quite a Thanksgiving day here.

As in many Thanksgiving days in the past, I assumed this one would also be quiet and peaceful.

Alas, it did start out that way. A sunny and brisk 55 degrees outside, just perfect for laying several wheelbarrows of mulch. That's the way it started.

As I was outside in our driveway shoveling my second wheelbarrow full of mulch I heard what sounded like Bill shouting inside the house.

At first I dismissed the sounds, my imagination. 

But they didn't stop. Then I thought "Maybe something happened to Bill. Maybe this is IT." 

I've been prepared for "It" ever since Bill came home from the rehab facility in March of 2021, recovering from his multiple strokes.

I put down my shovel and walk inside our house. I don't do the "movie thing" of running, besides I can't run anyway.

I hear Bill downstairs hollering "Ron!! Ron!!" in his stroke addled accent. He's in his bathroom. 

I gently go down the thirteen steps to his bathroom and am confronted with a backed up toilet bowl with fecal (shit) and toilet paper. 

UGH!

Backed up toilets, toilets "matter" up to the brim, is the main thing I hated about my hotel job. God knows I've encountered enough of them during my twenty some years of hotel front desk employment.

Bill didn't know what happened. Of course my first impulse is to blame him.......but for what?

I try to flush the toilet again and it only fills up to the brim again. Yes, some had overflowed on to my recently cleaned tile and grout floor. 

I had absolutely NO IDEA what the problem was.

Okay........I call Service Today. And yes, this was on THANKSGIVING DAY. 

Did you ever call a plumber on a holiday for service?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

What to do? I called anyway. Of course they were none to happy about me calling them on Thanksgiving Day but they were professional. Took awhile to get through though. I'm sure I pull someone away from their family gathering.

"Steve", who I talked to, tried to walk me through several options. Of course I couldn't find the things he was asking me to look for. 

This is the basement bathroom. The toilet works by pumping UP the toilet stuff. 

I asked him if he could do FaceTime so I could show him what I was seeing on the equipment. He couldn't do that but could receive some pictures that I sent to him. He determined that the "ball" wasn't working.

This "ball" is similar to the ball in the back of your regular toilet. Once all the toilet fecal matter builds up in the "pan" below the floor, the "ball" activate the pump. Apparently the ball wasn't working.

"Steve" then asked if I "could hold off" until Monday  or Friday to send one of his service people out. Well, not really. I politely asked if he could send someone out now. Not only was I dealing with a malfunctioning toilet but I had to deal with Bill. Anything that disrupts his routine totally confuses him. And he uses that bathroom often during the day to take a pee and an occasional small poop. Especially several times at night. I could just imagine him overflowing the toilet again while I'm trying to get some sleep. And then the mess, and smell. As it was he had already taken some poop out of the toilet and put it in the trashcan. He tried to hide it but my sniffer is infallible. Of course he thought he did something wrong, which he didn't. Poor Bill, he tries to so hard to do the right thing and not cause me any more stress. But stressed out I was.

Just think of it, there's not much worse than having an overflowing toilet on THANKSGIVING DAY. Of course what I do in these Anus Horrible Days is to tell myself "It could be a lot worse." I could be in Gaza. No running water, food, fuel and the Israeli IDF bombing the shit out of them. But I digress.

Steve said he would send someone over.  A few hours later "Isiah" arrived.  He wasn't happy but he was professional. I apologized for interrupting his Thanksgiving holiday but their company is called Service Today. I've been using them eve since we moved down here to Delaware in 2006 and they always come the same day. I have several annual service agreements with them. Plumbing, electrical, and HVAC. They're expensive (they all are expensive) but they're good and I get a 15% discount because I have a service agreement with them. Remember just recently I had a several hundred dollar bill with them to replace some parts to my heating system and I had a new filtration system installed. The filtration system is good, because I don't have those sneezing and runny nose episodes I used to have from allergies. 

Isiah (I didn't ask him to take his shoes off upon entering Casa Tipton-Kelly like I usually do, I didn't want to add insult to injury) came into our house and made the descent down the thirteen steps to Bill's bathroom. Yep, that was the problem. The ball in the pump system failed. 

Now he gave me my options. He could replace the ball but he couldn't guarantee it would work more than a week. "It could work a week or a year" he said. But if I got a NEW pump system, they could guarantee it. Oh well, WTF. I just put out another $972 last week for new brake pads and rotors on my 2010 Red Subaru Forester that only has 97,000 miles on it. 

So now the question.......how much? Isiah said he had to go out to his truck and do some calculations. He came back and the price was $2,795 and change. 

OUCH! 

Oh well, this is what I have savings for. But man oh man, the hits just keep coming this year. One big unexpected bill after another. Sure would be nice to save some money. But again, I have to remind my self I'm not trapped under rubble in Gaza or even worse, in the situation that my neighbor Harvey was in last year when his whole house burned down when his electric golf cart charger set off those propane gas tanks he had in his garage. Harvey, his daughter and two guests lost everything, barely getting out of their house before the explosions. And here I am fretting over the cost of replacing a pump for my basement toilet.

So I gave Isiah the go ahead. Then he told me, "There might be a problem when we can fix it." The supply store is closed today and will also be closed tomorrow and the next two days are the weekend. We probably can't get to it until next Monday."

Whatever, whatever; just fix it. He said they would try to get it fixed as soon as possible. And today I did get a call they they're coming out tomorrow. Actually they left a message on my iPhone because I was taking my afternoon nap.

Now the problem was to tell Bill where he could pee and poop. He could still use his bathroom but he couldn't flush the toilet. We would have to wait for "the pan" to fill up and I could manually flick on the power switch to pump the waster matter up the sewage pipe out to our twin septic tanks. Yes, in this out year of 2123 we're still using septic tanks. Not hooked up to a municipal sewage system. I have to arrange to have the septic tanks pumped out at least once a year. I try to pick cool days to have that task performed. One year I called the Clean Delaware septic tank guys on a hot and muggy summer day. Yes, you can imagine that smell as all our, uh......shit was pumped out in the 90 degree temps. I vowed never to do that again.

It took several explanations to Bill to "just don't flush the toilet when you go." Half an hour later he's asking me "What do I do?" Like I said, any deviation from our normal routine, Bill get confused. As a matter of fact, just a few minutes ago he came in here to say "goodbye" to me for the night and asked me AGAIN "What do I do?"  I said (again), "Just don't flush the toilet." God, I don't want him scooping his poop out of the toilet and putting it in the trash can. Sorry to be so graphic folks but this is my life now. All your former and present caregivers know what I'm talking doubt. Poop is a big part of caregiving. Poop is what caused me and my brothers to decide to move our mother to Brother John's house in South Carolina. At her house in Pennsylvania she had poop in her bedroom closet, under the bed and on TOP of the toilet seat (I discovered that "gem" once when I stayed there overnight. Folks, I am poop adverse. But I try to remind myself what my friend Glenn M. told me when he was caring for his late partner/husband Mike, "Ron, it's only shit." And he's right. It can be cleaned up but the smell. Oh well, that's my problem. I'm just too squishy. As I told my friend Don McK this morning on FaceTime and who is in the hospital now, "I could never be a nurse Don." Folks, I'm a glitter kind of guy. Send me a glitter Christmas card and I'm a happy camper. 

Well, I didn't plan to do a long story again but here I am. Tell you what folks, I'm ready for a long stretch of DULL AND BORING. 

The hits, they just keep coming.

Thanksgiving 2023

 

A Tipton Thanksgiving dinner about 1977 - from left to right - my Mother (partially obscured), my father, my sister-in-law and her husband Isaac, my brother who now lives alone (they're divorced and she remarried and lives in Florida) with his cat at the old family homestead in Pennsylvania

This year, as in year's past when I am asked "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?", I respond with "nothing." 

When my Mother was alive, I almost always went to her home (the old family homestead where my surviving brother, a MAGA Republican who I am not speaking to now....again, lives) for her traditional home cooked Thanksgiving dinner. As a matter of fact, that is how my parents met Bill for the first time.

I was estranged from them for about a year after they discovered I was gay. This was in 1964. My Mother caught me with my married boyfriend. Believe me, it was ugly. An incident which I've recounted many times in this blog as my longtime regular blog readers can attest to.

I think the year was 1965 that my Mother broke the ice when she sent me a birthday card (my birthday being November 9, conveniently a few weeks before Thanksgiving), and invited me to the family Thanksgiving dinner. I responded by telling her I would come but only if I could bring Bill. She said "Who is Bill?" I told her he was my boyfriend and I was living with him. She said "Absolutely not!" Then I told her "I'm not coming unless Bill comes with me." I can't remember the exact sequence of events but I think she called me back in a few days and said I could bring Bill. 

Well, you know the rest of the story. They LOVED Bill. As I knew they would. In fact Bill became very good friends with both my Mother (who was only four years older than Bill) and my father.

I don't know what my Mother was expecting. My father didn't much care, he never did about anything in my life. Maybe my Mother thought Bill would be very effeminate.  One thing Bill is not is effeminate. Bill is uber butch. For real. Or maybe she thought Bill was some kind of lecherous pervert. Well, I guess that all depends on the circumstance. Long story short, they had nothing to fear with Bill, all was well. And for many years Bill and I enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner with my parents. 

For a few years I tried giving a Thanksgiving dinner myself but Bill and I just don't eat that much to justify preparing all that food for the two of us. A few years we invited our late friend Ed C. over but that dropped off eventually. 

For another few years I attended my late friend Bob McC. and Jim D.'s annual Thanksgiving Dinner for Lonely Gay guys.

One of three tables laid out for Thanksgiving dinner at Bob and Jim's for the annual Lonely Gay Guys Thanksgiving Dinner

That was fun because most older, single gay guys don't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving dinner. That's why Bob and Jim started up that annual Thanksgiving dinner event. And it was quite successful at one point having about twenty four gay men attending the Turkey Fest at their double wide mobile home on twenty-two acres of wooded land outside Georgetown, Delaware. 

One of the tables at Bob and Jim's Thanksgiving dinner

But of course, Thanksgiving at Bob and Jim's eventually withered away when most of the participants died, including Bob and Jim. No one has picked up the Thanksgiving baton since, including me.

Yep, that's me on the right leaning back in my chair

I must say I did so thoroughly enjoy those Thanksgiving dinners at Bob and Jim's. Food was great, company was fabulous. Only downside was occasionally one of those guys hit on me, thinking the dinner was a dating app. But this is the curse of being a hottie like I was then (Ron says with tongue in cheek). 

Thanksgiving dinner on the job at the hotel, often interrupted by a guest calling for fresh towels

When I wasn't attending other's Thanksgiving dinners I was working at the hotel. Here is a picture of me having a Pity Thanksgiving "Dinner" that one of my co-workers brought in to me when I was working at the hotel one year. Dinner was good. I do like turkey and all the fixings. What I do miss though is the camaraderie of "family" whether it be traditional or untraditional like a bunch of gay men who have nowhere else to go on Thanksgiving.

But then what is Thanksgiving about? Being thankful, that's what Thanksgiving is all about. And this year I am more thankful than I have ever been. And that is because I am here with Bill. I am so thankful that I can take care of Bill at this time of his life and that we can be together.

So my wish to you good folks is whatever kind of "family" gathering you have for Thanksgiving, you have a wonderful time and you have much to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Christmas Tree 2023

For the first time since we moved to Delaware in 2006, we're having a Christmas tree in our house.

When Bill and I first got together at Christmas 1964, we did the Christmas Tree Thing up big. Bill even created a circuit board (Bill was an electrician in his previous life) that changed the color of the lights.

Christmas 1966 Pennsauken New Jersey (Polaroid photo)

For the next several years we continued having a traditional, fully decorated Christmas tree in our next  four places that we lived. 

I'm not sure when we fell away from putting up a Christmas tree in our home. Maybe about twenty years ago we figured the effort just wasn't worth all the trouble of putting a Christmas tree up then taking it down after Christmas.  Not that we were "Bah humbug!" for Christmas, both of us like the Christmas season, but for two old single men? Let the kids have Christmas.  

For the past several years I started thinking "Christmas tree" again, but quickly dissuaded myself of all that effort of getting out all my Christmas decorations. Then I saw Pat's aluminum Christmas tree that he puts up for himself. I thought it was cute. 

I began rethinking having a Christmas tree.

Then last week, while I was in our local Ace Hardware I noticed they had one of those cute aluminum Christmas trees on displace brightly blinking its LED colorful lights. "Hmmmm", I thought. "Maybe."

I didn't want to make an impetuous decision and buy it right away. I would "think" on it. Well, the "thinking" was done and yesterday I decided to buy it. 

I wanted to buy the sample tree that they had on display. I didn't want to buy one of those artificial trees that I had to assemble and disassemble each year. My late friends Bob and Jim had one of those trees. It was beautiful when it was finally put up but it did take a lot of effort to assemble the tree. In Bob's later years he often got the branches mixed up. He had longer branches toward the top and shorter ones on the bottom. He didn't bother changing them. Their Christmas tree began to reflect Bob and Jim's deteriorating health. I didn't want to go down that route. This floor display Christmas aluminum tree I was considering buying at Ace Hardware would not have to be put together and taken apart. That was the deciding factor for me. 

I brought my $20 Ace Hardware coupon with me and bought that $69.00 aluminum Christmas tree. 

Yesterday I found the perfect location for this new addition to our home. I spend a lot of my time in our kitchen, behind the counter. Bill spends most of his day in our sunroom. We have an open floor plan. Thus we can enjoy our Christmas tree to the fullest extent. 

I placed the our new Christmas tree on that little glass topped deck table that occupied that corner of our living room. Viola! Perfect! In fact it was so good that I told Bill to get in the car and we were going to the Kitchen Ware store in Rehoboth Beach. I was going to buy more Christmasy things to compliment our new addition to our living space. 

The video you see at the beginning of this blog is the result of those new additions. I have more to go and will update in future blog postings.

This year will probably be our last Christmas together. Bill is gradually getting weaker (his VA nurse is coming in again next week to check on him and give him his annual flu shot). Bill doesn't think he will be here next year. He is tired and wants to go. My goal is to make his final days as comfortable and happy for him as possible. This new Christmas tree is making him very happy. He loves the colors and brightness. 

Visitors did not expect such a WARM WELCOME FROM the LION!

I like cats but I think I would pass on this one. Yeah, I know, I'm just a big pussy.

Birthday Boy Here

 

Ron the Octogenarian

Today I begin my 83rd year on this planet. 

Who would have ever thought I would reach the grand old age of 82 years old? 

I am an octogenarian.  That means I'm between 80 and 89 years of age. 

So how do I feel about being an OLD MAN? Not any different from when I was 81 years old. A LOT different when I was 22 years old. 

For one thing my whole body didn't ache when I was 22y years old. 

I had loads of energy. Almost inexhaustible energy!

I could walk for miles and not feel a thing except exhilarated. Now I can hardly walk. I don't have the energy. 

If you would have asked me when I was 22 years old  I would have told you with complete confidence that I wouldn't live past 60 years old. 

A much younger me from 1969 at a bowling banquet. I'm the one in the blue seersucker suit on the far right. The woman with the cigarette was a co-worker of mine. This is one of the few photos of me that wasn't posed. These are the best photos of anyone, the spontaneous unposed photos. Unfortunately, I don't have too many of them. In my mind this is the way I think I look. Then I look in the mirror now and I am always shocked. What happened to me?  Oh well, I feel very lucky to have made it this far. Now to see what I look like when I'm 90!

Oh for sure, I've had a couple of close calls. At seventeen I developed an infection from surgery which they (the doctors) didn't expect me to survive. In and out of the hospital for six months in the summer of 1959, I fooled them all and survived. 

Over the years I've been in a couple auto accidents but survived uninjured. 

In 1980 I almost lost my life when someone tried to strangle me. That was one time I thought I was checking out for sure. But I survived, barely.

Then there was the time I had a gun pulled on me by two muggers on 22nd Street in Philadelphia one Saturday night in the late 1970's when I was headed out to the local bar for a night of adventure. They demanded my money or they were going "to take my life." No way was I going to give them money (I only had three one dollar bills in my back rear pocket anyway). We had a standoff for a few seconds while they demanded my "money or your life." I figured if they were going to shoot me they would have to do it with witnesses so I ran away from them into the traffic on 22nd Street. They didn't shoot. I survived again.

I can related more such instances but you get the idea. I have been spared from an early departure from this life for several reasons, I think. Yes, I do think your lives are preordained. 

My purpose now it to take care of Bill until he makes his peaceful transition from this life to wherever one goes when one dies. 

Then my purpose to live out my days with Pat. We take care of one another. Without Pat I have no one and he is in the same situation. We were meant for each other. That's why I think we met ten years ago. Our journey was preordained, of that I am convinced.

Life goes on. I have a few more adventures left in this wonderful life I've been so fortunate to have lived.

 

Bill's VA Home Health Care Program

 

Bill's VA occupational therapist checking out Bill's bathroom safeguards

Yesterday we had the third visit from a representative of the Veterans Administration Home Healthcare program. This person was the Occupational Therapist. She gave us some very useful information about keeping Bill mobil and keeping me from further straining my back. 

She was here about an hour and a half checking on our facilities (grab bars, smoke detectors, fire extinguisher, exercise routine, etc). A very thorough evaluation of our home environment and helpful hints to make it safer for both me and Bill.

On Monday Bill's home healthcare nurse spent the morning with us. Again, a very thorough evaluation of our history and what they can do for us to make our living situation here at home better.

A few things I was very happy to learn is that the VA will supply Bill with his Ensure protein drinks. Previously I've been buying those expensive drink supplements at our local Walgreens. Also they will supply us with eye drops and something really important to me, up to thirty days respite care for me annually. Oh how I would love to take advantage of that but Bill won't hear of it. Even though I can't take advantage of that respite break from my caregiving for Bill at this time, perhaps in the future. It's good to know that it is there for me to use. 

The most important thing about this VA Home Healthcare program is that it takes a lot of worry and pressure off of me should Bill's health deteriorate. Before with the hospice program, although they were very good, I still had a number of hoops to jump through. He had to be approved to be on the program and then when he didn't die, I felt guilty for being on the program and the monthly cost to the Federal government. With VA Home Healthcare, I have a partner on call. Partners on call.

What I really find interesting about the VA Home Healthcare program is that I didn't even know it existed. I only found out about it the last time I took Bill to the local VA Outpatient Clinic to visit a VA doctor and she informed us that she was placing Bill on their home healthcare program. 

The VA has gotten a bad rap over the years for their sometimes neglectful care of their veterans but I have to tell you, the VA has been wonderful with us. Even though I have Medicare both Part A and B I continue to get my main doctor healthcare through the VA. I've been doing this for thirty years now, ever since I lost my heath care in 1994. Bill has always received all his health care through the VA.

The VA has literally saved both of our lives several times over when we both needed surgeries. For many years when I worked at a bank I had fabulous healthcare insurance but I never used it. Then when I lost my job at the bank is (of course) when I needed surgery. The VA took care of me and I never saw one bill. Bill has had the same experience with the VA. One of Bill's emergency surgeries happened when I was house sitting here in southern Delaware in January 2005. Bill's gall bladder burst. I was stuck down here in Delaware by a snow storm. The local VA in Pennsylvania picked up Bill and DROVE him to Philadelphia for emergency surgery. Bill was in the ICU for over a week recovering from his surgery. The only problem I had was calling him on the phone. His Filipina nurse would not put me though because I "wasn't a relative." I managed to work around that obstacle through a friend who works in the medical field who called her and told her to put me through. She did. These days there is no problem with me and Bill's relationship. One time though the nurse thought Bill was my father. I had to correct her (she was embarrassed) and tell her Bill was my husband. 

Thank goodness life has settled down here at Casa Tipton Kelly. 

There were no trick or treaters last night, which is fine with me. Now to get through "the holidays."