As Britain - already suffering under one of the worst summers on record - braces itself for another few more weeks of torrential rain, so the water companies have finally declared that the hosepipe ban (still in place because this was "the wrong kind of rain" apparently) is lifted.
Leave it to
The Daily Mash to mark this auspicious occasion as only it can:
Thousands of relieved gardeners are finally able to water the swamp-like areas attached to their houses, as the hosepipe ban is lifted.
Many homeowners had been concerned that, unless the ban was lifted soon, they would be unable to keep their lawns submerged to the depth required to support larger marine life like catfish and snapping turtles.
Accountant and keen gardener Nathan Muir said: “With only 38 inches of rainfall since January, the mangrove region of our garden, which I navigate with a type of one-man hovercraft, was beginning to dry out very slightly and the alligators which arrived in February were getting a little bit irritable."
Read more.
An appropriate song, methinks:
Ann Peebles
