Finally, here’s today’s prompt (optional, as always). In “After Turning the Clocks Back,” Jennifer Moxley links present with past, using a few well-placed details to invoke both a sense of the daily “now” and a nostalgic sense of the speaker’s long-ago life.
In your poem today, similarly compare your everyday present life with your past self, using specific details to conjure aspects of your past and present in the reader’s mind.
Transformed
I didn’t know it was fear until trust took its place
between the walls of the home we should rest
in. And who’d have thought that grace could replace
the demands that whipped from me less than my best?
Where roller-coaster rides on rough terrain was my norm
now there is the deepest peace within the fiercest storm;
because light guides my feet close by my Saviour’s side
opening doors that fear used to block, tempting me to hide.
I hadn’t known how dark it was until the lights went on,
hadn’t known how lonely I was before I knew His name;
Accepted, loved, a cherished daughter of God Most High
Having been a mediocre caterpillar, I’m now a beautiful butterfly!
It is rather a trick question really. I’m blessed to have a great many very good friends, but my ‘circle of friends’ are very different. Let me tell you.
My circle of friends helped me into my inner healing journey.
About 10 years ago, I gathered together some significant photographs from my younger life – roughly one photo from each year up to about age 25.
I put them together into a small album and would often, intentionally, spend some quality time gazing at the faces of the little girl that had been me, wondering who she was, what she thought, what she felt and what she would want to say.
I used to imagine us all holding hands with each other in a circle, as I would gaze at each one, looking on them with love.
Over time I was learning to accept them and want to know them better.
From that exercise, I went on to write letters to each of the faces of me. What surprised me most was the fact that my circle of friends replied back to my letters, over the next couple of years, in a total of 36 ‘letters’ to me.
This was the book I began to write about my healing journey, but the book project has been derailed so many times, as I discovered exciting new chapters and new facets of healing.
But it all began with my ‘circle of friends’ and the realisation that Holy Spirit was invested in giving my circle of friends a voice and in orchestrating the whole conversation, and journey to wholeness and transformation, that has been happening since.
One day I will publish the book, because I want to share with you the precious jewels I have discovered along the way!
Here is a link to a poem I wrote about my circle of friends back in the very early days of this journey. Do read it.
Genesis 1:1-3: “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. The earth was unformed and void, darkness was on the face of the deep, and the Spirit of God hovered over the surface of the water.’
The word void here is often translated as empty.
I was thinking that there is rarely a void, or emptiness – everywhere there is something, a presence of something that God has created, but before God created, there was an emptiness, a void.
The phrase, ‘nature abhors a vacuum’ came to mind, though I hardly know what it means, but it seems to fit this concept of ‘void’ being rare.
Perhaps an exception is the idea of the ‘black hole’, about which we have such scant knowledge.
Without God in my heart, there was darkness, but it was not empty. My heart was chaotic and had bitterness, desires, hopes, and a range of heart thoughts.
In the Holy Spirit’s work of transformation in our hearts and minds, there is never emptiness, but transformation from pain, shame, wounds and bitterness, into healing, love, truth, acceptance, freedom…
For example – when I recognise a lie in my heart, I can repent of believing that lie, and break the power of that lie, but in order to be fully healed, I need to know God’s truth in that area and choose to believe and speak that truth over my life.
I am reminded of the parable Jesus spoke about when our hearts have had the dross cleared out, and demons cast out, how we must be filled with the Holy Spirit – to replace the damaged parts with healthy, living parts.
Jesus says:
Matthew 12: 43 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.
Most Fridays, I join an online Christian writing community, Five Minute Friday. We are given a one-word prompt and write – unscripted, unedited, pure free-write – for 5 minutes. The prompt this week is VOID.
I do read through my script afterwards to correct my mistakes; to check scripture references and to find an appropriate image to illustrate the topic.
To read other FMF posts on this subject click BELOW.
Book Review Blog Tour – Unashamed by Tracy Williamson
I have had the wonderful privilege of reading a pre-publication copy of Tracy Williamson’s new book, ‘Unashamed’ which is to be released for sale this Friday, 8thSeptember2023. (See details of the virtual zoom book launch below.)
It is my honour to be part of this blog-tour and to now present my honest response as a review of her gem of a book:
Unashamed (Discover the healing power of God’s love for your wounded soul)
by Tracy Williamson
First published 2023 by Authentic Media Limited. Publisher Authentic Media Paperback : 336 pages ISBN : 9781788932684 RRO £11.99, available from Marston, KCLC and Gardners
‘Whatever life has thrown at you, the truth is that your identity, the bottom line of the ‘Who Am I’?’ question, is that you were planned, thought of, lovingly designed, wanted and created in love’ (Tracy Williamson)
In Tracy’s own words in the introduction, she says – ‘where life has hurt us and left us feeling rubbish, God falls in love with us and takes us to His heart to restore and recreate the beauty He put in us – releasing us unashamed to our purpose.’
This sums up the message of inner transformation and healing with the particular gentle grace with which Tracy speaks into the heart of her readers.
Many of us go through life with wounds, pain and lies written deeply in our hearts – lies that tell us that we our bad and wrong in our very essence. This is shame. We bury this and pretend that all is well with us, but when we hit a rocky place, we see and hear the rubble, rubbish and lies upon which we have built our identity.
The truth, on the other hand, is that God, who made us and formed us in our mother’s womb, who knew us at the creation of all the world, He loves us with an everlasting love. But we don’t know this, we don’t believe it in the deepest recesses of our heart. He desires to woo us into healing and transformation with His truth.
The truth is that we are welcomed, wanted and beloved children of the living God.
This is the glorious message that God has been teaching Tracy and which she is sharing with the world in this profound treasure of a tool-book.
Tracy uses real-life stories – raw anecdotes from her own life and heart, and from others with whom she has shared her stories. This was great for me as I love story and testimony, as the authenticity is indisputable and reaches heart to heart.
Like the Master Himself, Tracy also uses delightfully accessible parables to illustrate and teach essential truths about God’s love and purpose. These help visual-thinking readers, like myself, to see, enter and remember the truths being spoken. It also keeps the teachings fun and non-threatening, making them even more powerful!
Another very powerful aspect of her book is the sharing of prophetic visions and invitations from the Holy Spirit – these spoke to me profoundly and knit the chapters together in a very wholesome way, each time inviting the reader to reflect and respond, even as God responds to our yearnings for Him.
In these times of reflection, I sensed the presence of God shining His light into those hidden places of shame, and felt the soothing balm of His healing touch as I opened up some of the wounded places revealed through the prophetic messages.
Within the chapters, Tracy invites the reader to rest, reflect and respond, but I didn’t tarry long enough! I want to go back especially to the prophetic messages and the personal testimonies, as I know that I rushed it and would do well to rest and meditate more in those places of healing truth.
As you can see, I love this book and I recommend it to anyone seeking greater healing and freedom in their lives.
I shall certainly be reading it again and lingering on the reflections and the prophetic.
If this does not tempt you to go straight to her website to order a copy of the book and read it for yourself, then listen to her speak about the book herself at her online book-launch this Friday 8th September 2023
NB: One is required to register for the online launch – so click the link below and register.
You can join them on Zoom this Friday for the virtual launch – Details can be found by visiting.www.unashamed.org.uk
To order a copy of Unashamed, please go to the website above. You may need to use a pc or laptop when ordering and paying, because of a temporary glitch .
You can also order by emailing the administrator on info@mbm-ministries.org
Tracy Williamson, who is deaf and partially sighted, and Marilyn, who is blind, head up the charity MBM Trust – Restoring Lives Through Intimacy with God, which is based in south-east England.
1) For whom did you write this book – who do you want it to reach?
Tracy: I feel Unashamed can reach everyone, as we all go through times of struggle and pain in life and also many of us would love to be drawing alongside and helping those who are struggling. Its a great resource for such people. But my primary aim is for those who feel they just can’t hope for change and transformation as their needs and hurts run so deep. I want it to be a book that brings hope that change is possible for all however deep the hurt as God’s love is bigger than the deepest wounds.
2) How long has your own spiritual healing journey been and do you think we are ever completely healed during our earthly lives?
Tracy: My own healing journey began before I discovered the Lord’s love for me. I was 18, at college and in a place of suicidal despair because of years of abuse and rejection. God drew me to him in an amazing encounter which I describe in Unashamed, and my healing journey began to crystalise and lead me to true wholeness. I’ve been on that journey ever since. I do believe we can experience full healing in this life because of the fact that Jesus died taking ALL our guilt, wounds, pain and shame on the cross with him. However, we do have to learn to live in its truth and life can be a roller coaster at times. My own experience is that I’ve made very significant steps to knowing, for example that I am beloved, rather than unwanted and shameful, and I really do know that now. But nevertheless, a difficult situation or unkind word can easily send me back into the old mindsets, so I have to keep close to Jesus and listening for his voice of truth and being willing to let my deeper self come into the light of his love.
3) You speak of Ellel Ministries’ impact in your life; have any other ministries or resources had an impact you would recommend to the reader?
Tracy: Yes Ellel were powerful to set me free from many satanic strongholds. My own church was also greatly used and lovely friends who had listening hearts and believed in the power of Jesus to heal wounded hearts. ‘Beauty from Ashes’ ministry taught me a great deal about drawing alongside and praying for hurting people too, as well as countless books from those in healing ministry.
Tracy, thank you so much for being raw and honest and for allowing God to shine through the cracks into your heart. Thank you for trusting Him to put you back together laced with His pure gold healing. Thank you for sharing your story!
May this book and all your ministries spread the healing power of the truth of God’s love for every wounded heart.
axe carefully laid to the offending root of bitterness
Take an Axe to the Root
Every Friday, I join an online Christian writing community, Five Minute Friday. We are given a one-word prompt and write – unscripted, unedited, pure free-write – for 5 minutes. The prompt this week is ‘ROOT’
I was excited to see this prompt-word last night, as I had just returned from a weekend of a prayer ministry course, which is focussed on eradicating ‘bitter fruit’ by identifying the ‘bitter root’ and laying an axe to that root.
The person seeking prayer ministry recognises some ‘bitter fruit’ in their life – issues that they wish were not there, aspects of behaviour that are problematic. These may be very obvious ‘bitter fruit’ like addictions and uncontrollable behaviour, or more subtle weaknesses which they may even consider to be ‘just the way I am’. It is something we want to change, but seem unable to change – it has become a ‘stronghold’.
The presence of the bitter fruit indicates the presence of the bitter root, whence it sprang, and the crux of the ministry is to lay the axe to the root, in repentance, and then bring all the habits of resultant behaviour to the cross.
The bitter roots are our sinful responses to the painful things that usually happen in our early life. The root is not the event or trauma itself, but my response to it. bitter roots (sinful responses) always cause ‘bitter fruit’ in our lives. God wants us to bring these to death on the cross.
The most common sinful response is to make judgments on the person we perceive to have caused our hurt (usually parents, siblings, family when we are so young). We also believe lies about ourself, the world or God, and we make vows to ‘always’ or ‘never’… in order to protect ourselves from further pain. In our young hearts, we create the expectancy that others will do this same thing.
This weekend I enjoyed the incredible (but slightly scary) power of this.
I wanted to receive this ministry to finally deal with some bitter fruit in my life.
One ‘fruit’ was never knowing what I need or want – decisions were treacherously difficult.
Another was being tired and resentful – sick and tired – of always striving to meet the needs of others to justify my existence. If you asked me why I said yes to everything, my answer would be ‘Why not? I see no reason why I shouldn’t. They need this and I have time.’
I didn’t think this was wrong. I thought it was good; that I was being a good girl.
I thought I was pleasing God by serving Him, because ‘inasmuch as you do this to the least of these, you do it for me.’
But I was feeling very tired, sometimes a little sad, sometimes resentful, lonely and weary. I was tired from constant striving to please, and striving to justify my existence, in order to deserve to breathe and live.
All my ‘service’ was coming out of duty. It was a sense of ‘I’ve got to do this today’, instead of ‘I get to do this today’.
In ministry I got to the roots – to judgments I made of my parents, lies I believed about myself and my worth, vows I made not to need or ask for anything. Therefore this is what I reaped all my life. True to my vow, I kept my needs and wants hidden from all, even myself. True to my judgments and expectations, my intimate experiences confirmed that my needs would not be met.
I felt exhilarated seeing this sure recipe for suffering as a direct result of my own responses to a child’s broken heart. I experienced the relief of repenting for my sinful judgments and responses, forgiving my parents, forgiving myself and God. I renounced my vow not to need or want and I confronted all of the lies with the truth.
Moving forward will not be quick and easy. The lies ran deep and no matter what my head told me, despite the word of God, my heart now needs to relearn how to operate and feel in truth.
I know that I cannot earn God’s love. I know that Jesus is my only justification. I know that Jesus forgives all the sins I bring to the cross. I know that He came to bring life to the full and that He is my provider and He gives us the deepest desires of our hearts. This is the truth and it is the truth that sets us free and brings joy.
I know this in my head, but it is not what my heart believed, nor was it the motivation behind my behaviour.
I came out of ministry feeling like my operating system had been wiped clean and all the functions need reprogramming.
But I am also so incredibly grateful and relieved, excited and full of joy.
I shall take it easy for a while. I want to learn what His will for me is.
I really don’t want to reach the end of my days saying ‘Phew! Are you happy, God?’ And to hear my heavenly Father reply, ‘Well, you were very busy, Dawn, but you didn’t do any of the wonderful things I had in mind for you. You missed out on freedom and joy and on your true calling.’
The word says in Ephesians –
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:10.
I want to be vigilant to take contrary thoughts captive and watch for automatic patterns kicking back in, as I don’t want my healing to be snatched away by my own carelessness.
To be transformed by the renewing of my mind.
My first task is to meditate on this verse and spend some time allowing Father God to let me rest as a human-being and not as a human-doing.
The theme I keep returning to for this week’s blog is to give you all an update on my life – or more accurately – on the progress of one of my current projects. Part of the healing work going on in me, is to recognise that, just as I am very interested in the actual lives behind all you wonderful bloggers and readers of mine, so also might you be interested not just in the random thoughts I scribble down from week to week, but you may also like to know something about me. If I am wrong, you can ignore this blog.
Since January of this year, 2021, I have been writing a book about the strategies and processing tools I found helpful in the task of finding the voice of my wounded inner child. The first section of the book explains why and how I did it and the impact it had. The second section contains excerpts from the writing during the main strategies I used to hear the silent inner child. I called my wounded inner child Suzie. The strategies I used have given Suzie a voice to express her long-buried trauma and her dreams, disappointments and emotions. It has not been an easy journey, but it has been necessary and hugely transformative. My dream was to share those strategies and processing tools to help others to deal with trauma, with hidden issues, and to come to a place of acceptance. Having heard my hidden child’s voice, I have been able to bring her pain and fear to the Lord, for healing. Confessing one’s emotions, one’s story to oneself is powerful! Confessing it to another safe person and receiving acceptance and validation – being really heard – is powerful and healing. Pouring out one’s heart and confessing to God, is powerful, transformative and brings wholeness. It is still transformative for me – it is a journey I am still on and there is more work to do. It is a healing of relationship – me with Suzie, with memories, as well as me with God and with others.
Section Two contains some of Suzie’s story, but Section One explains the why and how of it. This first section I have written, rewritten and rewritten again. I have written it in my own level of understanding of what the process has meant to me. Now I am holding my breath as it is being read by four people. One is a very close friend who is a psychotherapist and who will be writing a Foreword for my book, to explain my processing in the language of a therapist. My youngest son is reading it, with a view to illustrating some aspects of the story. Two friends are also reading it to provide me with some more general feedback, before I do the final edit and look for a publisher.
This is little me, an image of the hidden Suzie.
Obviously I am continually consulting God about these next steps towards publishing, as the whole process and all of it belongs to Him. He asks us to comfort and bless others with the comfort and blessing we receive from Him. This is the aim of the book – to share the great blessings and healing I have received. He is the Author and finisher of my faith; He is my healer; He is my wisdom and understanding; He knew me when I was hidden, mute and hurting and He was with me. He knows every thought before I do and He knows when I lie down and when I rise… and do you know, He cares! He knows my story, my thoughts and my deeds, and He still loves me and cares for me, as His own precious daughter.
You are the other child He knows and loves so deeply.
dawnfanshawe 
