Pirates of the Caribbean Sue of the Day

In the glorious tradition of pottersues, following in the footsteps of the no longer updated piratesues, I will endeavour to bring you the worst Mary Sues that the Pit of Voles and the Pirates of the Caribbean fandom have to offer.

You might want to also take the time to visit sueslaps another Pirates of the Caribbean SueJournal. The fandom is 98% Sues. We need as many Sue Reports as we can get.

Things To Know

What All of This Is About

What's that? You don't know what a Sue is? Don't understand the purpose of this journal, you say?

Well, then. Read. Learn. Know. Knowledge is power.

In fanfiction there is the Canon Character and the Canon and they are good. The Canon Character is one who actually exists in the source material. The word Canon refers to the source material and all of its details and precepts as a whole.

A Mary Sue (or Sue) is a fandom/fanfiction term that refers to an Original Character (or OC). who is near-perfect, amazingly beautiful, and multi-talented. She is feared/hated by the Canon Characters the author dislikes (usually as she's replacing them or otherwise embarassing them), she induces awe in and is adored by the Canon Characters that the author likes, and related to and/or in love with the author's favorite Canon Character(s).

If you hadn't guess she's a blatant self-insertion so that the author, or Suethor, may live out their fantasy of playing around in the Canon universe. Mary Sue is also well-known for being special in every way (the only one of her kind, of a race/species/etc. that has never before been seen in Canon, has special powers and abilties which may be incongruous to Canon), incredibly angsty (orphaned, raped, abused, suicidal, no memory of who she is, etc.), and existing in fics that are guilty of Canon Rape (which is ignoring, and, especially, perverting Canon whenever it's convenient). Canon Characters usually act extremely Out of Character (or OOC) whenever a Mary Sue is around and the story, no matter what it is, and the universe as a whole all of a sudden seems to revolve entirely around her.

So, yeah. You know Mary Sue. You just didn't realize it.

The purpose of this journal, as stated above, is to find and mock Mary Sues for all those who appreciate goodfic and canon to see. marysues was the original Mary Sue Report community. Then pottersues started the fandom specific Sue Report (also the Sue Report run by a single person). Many followed. It's very cathartic. My efforts are, obviously, limited to the Pirates of the Caribbean fandom.

Another Frequently Asked Question

Namely: What's with these/What are these YouFics/YouJack/YouWill fics?

Hell if I know.

Ok, let me be more helpful, the above listed terms are used to refer to fanfics which are written in the second person. In other words as opposed to first person: "I sporked a Sue" or third person "PotC Sues sporked Sue" we get "You sporked a Sue."

Got it?

Good. I'm not sure where this way of writing fanfiction originated, though second person can be seen in literature. However, I do know that it is abundant in the Pirates of the Caribbean fandom. And all of the fics involve "you" being paired up with a canon character (if you've seen one that doesn't please tell me). Thus, they are labeled YouJack, YouWill, etc.

If you want my personal opinion, they're a way for the especially lazy Suethor to create instant "reader identification" with their character, without actually putting any effort into it. YouSues can have all the normal physical trappings of a Sue or the may leave it to the reader to create their own Sue entirely. But everything else pretty much remains the same. Only in a really awkward format.

If you would like to see one of these monstrosities for youself, I did an entire week of YouSues (or Mary-Yous) beginning with "Capitain" Morgane Black. Or you could just go to The Pit.

UPDATE: As of July 27th, 2004, FanFiction.net has banned second person fics. There is a God.

On the Subject of Feedback

- If you would like to send a story my way that you believe needs reporting use that e-mail address above and have at it. Or if you just want to talk to me, or ask a question, or tell me you love me, whatever. I'm a bigger attention-whore than a BNF! Ok, so not really. But you can e-mail me about anything anyway.

- If you somehow found your way here and you are a Suethor youself: you should try oc_analysis for nice, friendly, constructive criticism. Here you will only find very vitriolic criticism and hatred. Oh and mockery. Ceaseless mockery.

- If you want to tell me how much you hate me and how evil a bitch I am, feel free to use the contact information above. But I will laugh at you.

- If you want to threaten a lawsuit for me posting excerpts of your story here, again, feel free. But there will still be laughing for many reasons, not the least of which is that fanfiction is normally considered copyright infringement in and of itself. Your fanfiction, in all likelihood, doesn't even legally belong to you in the first place, which means, if this wasn't Fair Use (which it is) there's really nothing you could do about it anyway.

And while we're here: harassment would require me to actually seek you out and bother you incessantly, which I do not; emotional trauma would never hold up in court (if it could we'd all sue you for the emotional trauma your bad writing causes us all); and I'm an anonymous person on the internet, how the hell are you going to subpeona me in the first place?

Oh, and I'm not jealous of you or your friends writing "skills." I probably do write far better than you do and even if I didn't I'd still be entitled to tell you that your stories suck. Which they do.

Thank you and have a nice day.

Other SueJournals

marysues
pottersues
lotrsues
xmensues
gilmoresues
inuyashasues
outlawsues
anunspiritedsue
beatlessues
peterpansues
theslayerssues
deleterius

Other Useful Sites

The PotC Fanfic Resource- Read it. Learn it. Love it. Contains all kinds of helpful information, like how long it takes to get from Tortuga to Port Royal (2 days!) and from Port Royal to Tortuga (3 days!). Put an end to those pesky, completely and totally illogical travel time estimations and many other historical inaccuracies!

Pirates of the Caribbean, In Fact and Fiction- A site about the Golden Age of pirates, in general. Expansive and it also offers many recommendations for further reading.

All past Sues are archived in the memories chronologically and by type.