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Fandango’s Flashback Friday — April 24th

Fandango14 Comments

This was originally posted on April 24, 2018

MLMM Photo Challenge — The Bear Hug

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“No way,” the model said. “I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Oh please,” the director said. “Must you always act like such a prima donna, Valerie?”

“Let me get this straight,” she said. “You want me to stand half naked outside in the snow while a huge grizzly bear comes up from behind me, puts its arms around me, and squeezes me? Have you lost your mind?”

“Valerie, honey, we’re shooting a commercial for Bear Hug brand wine and the clock is ticking,” the director said.

“Maybe I can help,” another man chimed in. “Miss, that bear is a circus bear and I’m its trainer,” he said. “I can assure you that the bear is as gentle as a lovable St. Bernard dog. He won’t hurt you.”

“Time is money, sweetheart,” the director said.

“Okay, fine,” Valerie said, “let’s get this over with. I am freezing my tits off.”

Once everyone was in place, the director shouted “Action.” Valerie stood shivering in the snow as the big, brown bear slowly move in behind her, stood on its hind legs, and put its huge arms around her.

Suddenly, without warning, the unexpectedly enraged bear started tearing at Valerie’s flesh.

Written for this week’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie’s Photo Challenge. Photo credit: Google Images.

Simply 6 Minutes — Strawberry Fields

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“Listen up, folks. Tomorrow is National Pick Strawberries Day and we have to have this commercial ready to be released to all the major media outlets first thing in the morning,” the director, Bruce Wareward, said.

“Excuse me, boss, can I talk with you for a minute before you start?” Calvin, a computer animation engineer assigned to the team, asked.

“No time, kid,” Bruce said. “We’re on a deadline and I’ve got to get these elephants in position and it’s turning out to be harder than I thought getting these live elephants onto three platforms without trampling the strawberries in the field.”

“But, sir, I can….”

“Quiet kid, I need to focus,” the director said. “The third elephant is being lowered on the platform and if we can get it there without the cable snapping or the crane arm breaking, we will be ready to start filming.”

Unfortunately for Bruce, the cable securing the third elephant did snap, sending the poor elephant to a crash landing onto the strawberry field. The elephant was uninjured but the director was pissed. “Shit!” Bruce yelled. “We’re fucked now.”

Calvin ran up to the director. “I have a low-cost solution that will get you what you need. He opened up his laptop and showed Bruce an AI image he created.

BERJAYA

“Hmm,” Bruce said, “Can you animate this image to show the three elephants sucking up strawberries with their trunks?”

“Easy peasy,” Calvin said.

“Jesus, why didn’t you tell me this yesterday, kid?” Bruce asked. “You could have saved me a lot of time, aggravation, and money.”

“I did try to tell you but you kept blowing me off,” Calvin said.

“Never mind, kid,” Bruce said. “Just get it done.”

Written for Christine Bialczak’s Simply 6 Minutes Challenge.

Blogging Insights — Out Of Fashion

Fandango25 Comments
BERJAYA

For her weekly Blogging Insights prompts, Dr. Tanya provides us with a quote about blogging or writing and asks us to express our opinion about said quote.

This week’s quote is from Justine Larbalestier, an Australian writer of young adult fiction.

“Blogging, I love you no matter how out of fashion you are.”

Overall, I believe that blogging is pretty much alive and well. In fact, one site I saw recently claimed that there are more than 600 million blogs in the world today, out of over 1.9 billion websites.

But of those 600 million blogs, how many are from bloggers like us? There are, it seems, two broad categories of blogs in the world: “personal” blogs, which are often focused on the writer/blogger, and “commercial” blogs, which focus mostly on content marketing. A personal blog can be filled with journal-like entries that fill readers in on the writer’s opinions, struggles, and major life events. It may also be a venue for people to showcase their flash fiction, poetry, photographs, etc. A commercial blog is essentially designed to sell you something.

I’m going to focus on personal blogging, which is what I do and what I believe the vast majority of you do, as well. There are those who contend that personal blogging is dying out, that it’s a thing of the past. They claim that social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter) video sharing (YouTube, Tik Tok), podcasts, and streaming have replaced personal blogging. But I contend that blogging is still a part of many people’s lives.

I do admit that most of the bloggers I follow are “older.” Like me, many are senior citizens. Or you may be a younger Baby Boomer or a Millennial. I am not sure that the short-attention-span, click-bait, younger generations have the patience to write and read personal blogs. So once we Baby Boomers die out, maybe tradition, personal blogging will, in fact, fall out of fashion.

In the meantime, though, I say:

BERJAYA

When They Go Low, Kick ‘em in the Nuts

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Bill Maher has suggested that the Democrats need to fight as dirty as the Republicans do. The Dems are too nice, he says. They follow all the traditional rules of politics. The Republicans, on the other hand, lie and cheat and make their own rules. And they play by their own dirty rules.

So Maher and his Real Time with Bill Maher staff put together this commercial that they think the Dems should air. And you know what? I couldn’t agree more! It’s time for the Dems to start playing by their own rules too. Otherwise, America is fucked!

What Do You See? — Foxy Girl

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A02FBADF-1C69-4961-A2D8-AD0E0D5F9E57“Okay, girls,” the director said. “Blondie, you’ll be holding the red fox when we start shooting,” he said, “and Red, you’ll hold the white one. Got it?”

“It’s Gloria and Debbie,” his assistant, holding the clipboard, whispered in the director’s ear. “Gloria is the blonde and Debbie is the redhead.”

“Whatever,” the director said, dismissing his assistant with a wave of his hand. He turned his attention to the two teenage girls in their school uniforms. “Girls, he said,” I want you to remember that we’re shooting a commercial for a new perfume called ‘Foxy Girl.’ The two foxes have been sedated a little to keep them calm, so you don’t have to worry about being bitten or scratched. Got it?” Both girls nodded.

The director’s assistant stepped up to the director. “How about giving Debbie the red fox and giving Gloria the white one. That way the girls’ hair color and the color of the foxes’ fur will match.”

“Okay, girls,” he said, slight change of plans. Blondie, you’ll take the white fox and Red, you got the red one. Got it? Now the animal trainer is going to hand you the foxes and when I say ‘action,’ I want to see you to hold the foxes in your arms and lovingly stroke their fur. I also want to see you two with big, warm smiles on your faces. Got it?” Both girls nodded.

The trainer gave Debbie the red fox and Gloria the white one. Then the director yelled “Action!”

A moment later, he yelled “Cut!”

He walked up to the two girls and softly said, “Girls, we’re shooting a video here, not a still photo. When I say ‘action,’ I need you to caress the foxes like you would your beloved pet dog or cat. And girls, you both look like you, not just the foxes, have been sedated. I need you to smile, to look happy, to be animated, look like you’re enjoying yourselves. Got it?” Both girls nodded.

He stepped back and yelled “Action!”

A moment later, “Cut, cut, cut, dammit!”

Written for this week’s What Do You See? Challenge from Hélène Vaillant at Willow Poetry. Photo credit: Pinterest free picture.

MLMM Photo Challenge — The Bear Hug

Fandango20 Comments

img_1268“No way,” the model said. “I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Oh please,” the director said. “Must you always act like such a prima donna, Valerie?”

“Let me get this straight,” she said. “You want me to stand half naked outside in the snow while a huge grizzly bear comes up from behind me, puts its arms around me, and squeezes me? Have you lost your mind?”

“Valerie, honey, we’re shooting a commercial for Bear Hug brand wine and the clock is ticking,” the director said.

“Maybe I can help,” another man chimed in. “Miss, that bear is a circus bear and I’m it’s trainer,” he said. “I can assure you that the bear is as gentle as a lovable St. Bernard dog. He won’t hurt you.”

“Time is money, sweetheart,” the director said.

“Okay, fine,” Valerie said.

Once everyone was in place, the director shouted “Action.” Valerie stood shivering in the snow as the big, brown bear slowly move in behind her, stood on its hind legs, and put its huge arms around her.

Suddenly, without warning, the unexpectedly enraged bear started tearing at Vallerie’s flesh.

Written for this week’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie’s Photo Challenge. Photo credit: Google Images.