Of Balls and Bongs

346EFFB2-7BE5-44B7-BDC5-FF77CCC026CEThe ding on the microwave oven sounded.

“Finally,” said Frank.

“Seriously, it’s about time,” added Phil.

“It seemed to take forever,” noted Lou.

Lou fumbled opening the microwave door and removing the plate overflowing with pizza rolls they just nuked.

Frank carried the plate into the living room and placed it on the coffee table. Phil carried the pitcher of beer. Lou carried the bong. Once everything was in place, Lou picked up the remote and turned on the 65-inch flat screen TV. Then each took a large hit on the bong.

“There it is,” said Frank, pointing to the image of the large crystal ball overlooking New York’s Times Square.

“The countdown is about to start,” added Phil.

“It’s taking forever,” noted Lou.

The countdown continued. “Five. Four. Three. Two. One.” And the large crystal ball overlooking New York’s Times Square started to fall.

“Finally,” said Frank.

“Seriously, it’s about time,” added Phil.

“It’s taking forever,” noted Lou.

Once the ball reached the bottom, the three friends each took another big toke off the bong. Then they clinked their full glasses of beer together and chugged.

“Happy New Year, everyone. 2017 is over,” the announcer on the TV said. “Welcome to 2018!”

“Finally,” said Frank.

“Seriously, it’s about time,” added Phil.

“It seemed to take forever,” noted Lou.


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “finally.”

Song Lyric Sunday — Bubblegum Music

For this  week’s Song Lyric Sunday, the prompt is “sugar/candy.” I’m positive that many of my fellow bloggers will select the same song I have chosen, since it’s all about sugar and candy!

“Sugar, Sugar” was a song written by Jeff Barry and Andy Kim. It was originally recorded by the virtual band the Archies, a group that performed on the Saturday morning cartoon show, Archie. The song falls in the genre of pop music known as “bubblegum music.” Bubblegum music, which was popular in the late 60s and early 70s, had an upbeat sound designed to appeal to pre-teens and teenagers.

According to Jeff Barry, he and Andy Kim wrote this song with preschoolers in mind since that was the audience for the Archie TV show. The “you are my candy girl” line came from them thinking about what kids that age like (candy).

The song was initially released in late May 1969, on the Calendar label, but achieved only moderate chart success until it was re-released in mid-July 1969 on the Kirshner label, where it became a massive success by late summer/early fall. It reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in 1969 and remained there for four weeks.

Here are the song’s lyrics.

Sugar, ah honey honey
You are my candy girl
And you got me wanting you

Honey, ah sugar sugar
You are my candy girl
And you’ve got me wanting you

I just can’t believe the loveliness of loving you
(I just can’t believe it’s true)
I just can’t believe the one to love this feeling to
(I just can’t believe it’s true)

Ah sugar, ah honey honey
You are my candy girl
And you’ve got me wanting you

Ah honey, ah sugar sugar
You are my candy girl
And you’ve got me wanting you

When I kissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a kiss could be
(I know how sweet a kiss can be)
Like the summer sunshine pour your sweetness over me
(Pour your sweetness over me)
Oh sugar, pour a little sugar on it honey

Pour a little sugar on it baby
I’m gonna make your life so sweet, yeah yeah yeah
Pour a little sugar on it oh yeah
Pour a little sugar on it honey
Pour a little sugar on it baby
I’m gonna make your life so sweet, yeah yeah yeah
Pour a little sugar on it honey

Ah sugar, ah honey honey
You are my candy girl
And you’ve got me wanting you
Oh honey, honey, sugar sugar
(Honey, honey, sugar sugar)
You are my candy girl

Almost Over

img_0341The year 2017 is almost over and many of us are quite happy about that. It was, in the macro sense, a pretty shitty year. Can the upcoming year be any worse?

Personally speaking, though, 2017 wasn’t a bad year. I retired at the end of last year and managed to survive. Someone once told me that fifty percent of men die within their first year of retirement. I don’t know if that’s true, but if it is, I’m happy to still be among the living.

No one I personally know died in 2017, which is a good thing. And my wife and I remain relatively heathy for aging Baby Boomers, so there’s that, as well.

I also started this blog in May of 2017, and I consider that to be an accomplishment. And my wife is happy about it because it keeps me occupied and out of her hair.

So while 2017 saw the world cratering, I’m doing okay. I just hope that next year at this time, when 2018 is almost over, I will not be calling it yet another truly shitty year.

Assuming, of course, the world doesn’t end and I live through my second year of retirement.


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “almost.”

SoCS — Be It Resolved

096DAA0E-6257-4002-9B90-6251F972E3E8Linda G. Hill chose the word “resolution” for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, which is an apt word to choose, given that today is the last Saturday of 2017 and it’s a time when many of us are making our New Year’s resolutions.

Many people use the approaching new year to take stock of their lives. They look behind at the past year and reflect on their achievements and failures. Often, they focus on the mistakes they made, their broken promises, and unfulfilled dreams. They resolve to improve themselves, to get a fresh start as the brand new year commences.

New Year’s resolutions are an effort to reinvent oneself; they are a form of self-motivation. People make them with the hope of changing their lives for the better. Unfortunately, most such resolutions are not kept for very long. So why bother?

New Year’s resolutions are all about hopefulness and people have been making these annual resolutions for centuries. The act of creating such resolutions has reportedly been around since Babylonian times, when the Babylonians were said to have made promises to the gods in the hope that they’d earn good favor in the coming year.

Some sources say that the tradition of New Year’s resolutions dates back to around 150 BC. January is named after the mythical early Roman god Janus, who had two faces, which allowed him to look both back on the past (the old year) and forward toward the future (the new year).

This became a symbolic time for Romans to make resolutions for the new year and forgive enemies for troubles in the past. Janus would forgive the Romans for their wrongdoings in the previous year, and, based upon gifts and promises, would bless them in the year ahead.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. It’s not that I’m perfect and there’s no room for improvement. That’s far from the case. But I don’t like that feeling of failure when my resolutions to get more exercise or to eat healthier or to watch less TV inevitably fall short. So if I don’t make any New Year’s resolutions, I won’t beat myself up for not being able to keep them.

Having said that, the one resolution I do plan to keep is to continue blogging, so long as it’s still fun, fulfilling, and doesn’t become a burden.

Happy New Year, fellow bloggers. And for those of you who do make New Year’s resolutions, best of luck. The odds of success are against you.

Love Thyself

FCE3C4A8-FD6F-44EC-BF82-4F85B040F316Donald Trump has an enormous ego. And enormous egos require constant reinforcement. That explains why virtually all of the members of his cabinet and most of the Republican members of Congress have publicly humiliated themselves by heaping effusive praise upon him, which Trump basks in and soaks up like a sponge.

But when it comes to the most extravagant praise for Donald Trump, no one is more enthusiastic than Donald Trump.

He claims to know the best words. He boasts that he is really smart, really rich, and that he makes the best deals. He said that, when it comes to fighting ISIS, he knows more than the generals.

In an impromptu interview yesterday with the New York Times, Trump said that Chinese President Xi “treated me better than anybody’s ever been treated in the history of China. You know that.”

He also said, “I know the details of taxes better than anybody. Better than the greatest CPAs. I know the details of health care better than most, better than most.” This after saying earlier this year that “no one knew that healthcare could be so complicated.”

Trump also asserted that the mainstream media needs him. He said, “Another reason that I’m going to win another four years is because newspapers, television, all forms of media will tank if I’m not there because without me, their ratings are going down the tubes. Without me, The New York Times will indeed be not the failing New York Times, but the failed New York Times.”

“So they basically have to let me win,” he added. “And eventually, probably six months before the election, they’ll be loving me because they’re saying, ‘Please, please, don’t lose Donald Trump.’ Okay?”

Seriously, you can’t make this shit up!

Trump has falsely claimed he has signed more legislation in his first year in office than any other president. He has boasted that he has accomplished more in his first year as president than any other president before him. He said he’s cut back more regulations than any president since Abraham Lincoln.

Of course, not a single one of those boasts is true.

A conservative political action group even produced a video ego booster entitled “Thank You, President Trump,” in which “everyday Americans” offer their ebullient thanks to our grand and glorious leader for all of the things he’s done for them.

Doesn’t it make you want to barf?

Has there ever been a president who is more needy of praise and who has such a fragile ego?


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “extravagant.”

Friday Fictioneers — Monstrosity

img_0332“Oh my God, Henry,” Charlotte said. “I send you out to the garage to get rid of all the junk in there so that both our cars can fit and then come out here to find this monstrosity in our backyard? What is wrong with you?”

“Monstrosity?” Henry objected. “This is a work of art, Charlotte. Look at it! It’s worthy of being displayed at the MOMA, for crissake.”

“I’ll not have your junk sculpture spoiling our backyard,” Charlotte said.

“Fine,” Henry said. “But if I move it back into the garage, there won’t be any room for your car.”

(100 words)


Written for this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. photo credit: Ted Strutz

 

 

#writephoto — Saving Grace

BERJAYAThe full moon shown brightly over the lake, illuminating the mountains on the opposite side.

As he gazed upon the moon’s image reflected in the calm waters of the lake, Mark reflected upon his own life. It was just over a year ago that his wife of thirty years passed away. Both of his grown kids, Grace and Jonathan, were living out of state and busy with their own families. And just four months ago, Mark got laid off.

Neither of his kids had come to visit him over the holidays; he had spent Christmas alone and lonely. It would be so easy, he thought, to just start walking into the lake, taking one step at a time until the cold water consumed him. No one would miss him, of that he was sure.

And so he removed his shoes and socks and took his first steps into the dark water, creating a series of ripples that caused the moon’s reflection to sparkle like a million little stars. He’d walked about twenty paces and the cold water was barely beyond mid-calf. But Mark knew that it wouldn’t be long before the lake waters would engulf him.

As the water reached waist level, Mark heard a frantic voice calling his name. He turned around to see a woman, arms flailing, running into the water. “Dad! Dad!” he heard her scream.

Recognizing his daughter, Mark yelled, “Wait, Grace, I’m coming to you!” He ran back through the water as fast as he could until he reached her. She threw her arms around him and held him tight to her.

“Dad, what the hell were you doing? We need to get back to the house and dry you off.” Then she pulled her cell phone from her jeans pocket and called her brother. “Jonathan, I found Dad. Get the fire going. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Jonathan’s here, too?” Mark asked. “I didn’t think either of you were going to make it here.”

“Dad, of course we were going to be here for Christmas,” Grace said. “But because of the blizzard back east, our flights were delayed by two days. We tried calling, but you didn’t answer your phone.” Then she paused. “Dad, what’s going on? What were you thinking back there.”

“Grace, forgive me,” Mark said. “With your mother gone, me losing my job, and then, with Christmas and not hearing from you and Jonathan….”

“Dad, I know,” Grace said. “But we’re all here now. Everyone is waiting for us back at the house, including all of your grandchildren. We all love you and wanted to be here with you for the holidays.”

Right before they got to the back door of the house, Mark stopped, hugged his daughter, and with tears running down his cheeks and with his voice cracking, he said to her, “You literally are a saving Grace.”


Written for today’s Thursday Photo Prompt from Sue Vincent.

Keeping Your Beer Cozy

33CFA048-52BE-4CDC-8727-D14D07255F44“Thanks,” I said to my sister after opening up my Christmas present from her. “What is it?”

“It’s a cozy I knitted for you,” she said. “Isn’t it adorable? You put your bottle or can of cold beer in it.”

“It’s awesome. But why do they call it a cozy?” I asked. “The word cozy means snugly warm and comfortable, doesn’t it? I don’t like warm beer.”

“No, silly,” she said. “It keeps your hands warm and dry when holding a cold can or bottle of beer.  And it helps to keep the beer cold.”

Being the type of person I am, I reached for my iPhone and Googled “beer cozy.” What I learned was that the fabric or foam insulating sleeve for a bottle or can is, in fact, called a “cozy.” But it’s also called a “coozy” and a “koozy.”

According to my extensive research on this serious matter, historical records dating back to the 19th century show that people made use of items called “tea cozies” and “egg cozies.” A tea cozy is a cover for a teapot. An egg cozy sits on top of an egg like a cute little hat. Both items were made of cloth, and both items served as insulators to trap warmth. Neither was used to keep something cold.

In 1980, a Texas company, Radio Cap Corporation, registered the name “Koozie” as a trademark. In 1981, Bonnie McGough of Caldwell, Idaho, filed a patent for what she called “an insulated beverage cozy for use with cold drinking utensils.”

I also learned that the word for this kind of insulated sleeve is spelled at least a dozen different ways, including “cozy,” “cosy,” “koozy,” and “coozy.” Who knew?

“Thanks, Sis,” I said. “Would you fetch me a beer from the fridge? I’m eager to give your Christmas present a try.”


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “cozy.”

Some End of Year Observations

BERJAYA2017 has been one of the strangest and most disorienting years that this aging Baby Boomer can recall. And believe me, I’ve experienced some very bizarre years.

I think of myself as an optimist, but maintaining a positive outlook as this chaotic year draws to a close has been quite challenging for me. So much so that even my eternal optimism has given way to considerable doubt and a lot of concerns.

Our American democracy has become incredibly fractured along political, religious, cultural, and economic fronts. Everything, from abortion to gun control, and even how to conduct oneself during the playing of the national anthem at football games or how to respond to accusations of sexual misconduct, has become intensely partisan.

Listening to and trying to understand perspectives and opinions that differ from one’s own now seems to have become a lost art. Negotiation and compromise are treated like four-letter words.

Virtually everything is politicized in this winner-take-all world in which we now find ourselves. You’re either with me or you’re against me. My religious beliefs are true and yours are false. My opinion is worthwhile and yours is worthless.

Everything is either black or white; there are no shades of gray anymore. Opposing points of view are met with disdain, contempt, and outright scorn. Politics in America has devolved into blood sport.

Attributes like character, truth, and decency don’t seem to matter in Donald Trump’s America. What might happen should Donald Trump move to fire Mueller or to sabotage the Russia investigation? Will our democracy survive or will it trigger a new American civil war?

The only way to make America great again is to abide by the Constitution and to follow the rule of law. We need to end the madness that has hijacked our government and our society. In 2018 we must do whatever we can to put the country we cherish back on the right track before it’s forever gone.

Just some year-end observations from one jaded, cynical blogger who is hopping for a better, happier new year.