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akamine_chanSeriously, it's kinda hazy and glowy, still a little distance away, but I can see it.
Big Bang is at 21,505 words and almost done. Part of a sex scene, a couple of smaller bits, and a final editing session and I will be done, thank fucking Christ. Even managed to wrangle a pretty nifty title for it.
I'm not totally happy with it, honestly. It's got some good parts, but it's not the story I wanted to tell. And I will probably get yelled for saying this, but I'm not entirely sure it's as good as I could write it. Or maybe I've just been living with it for so long that I can't see it clearly anymore...*shrug*
Today is my mother's birthday. She would have been 78 today. I'm still working through how I feel about it. /o\
It has been exactly two years since I quit smoking. Sometimes I dream about smoking a cigarette, about how it felt, the cigarette between my fingers, between my lips, that first inhale and pause...yeah, I still miss it. Wish I didn't. But I'm just happy to be able to say I quit two years ago. \o/
Continuation of birthday surprises: I got a card from![[livejournal.com profile]](/makepkg/implementing-https-www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
qe2 and one from secretlybronte, a postcard from bertybertle, and a package from leafy22. spuffyduds wrote me a HCL fic, Show-Off (mind the warnings). *smishes all of you* I'll post pics and a more thorough thank you after Big Bang is done.
*deep breath*
Almost done. And then it's catch up time. Look at how good I'm being - I didn't sign up for![[livejournal.com profile]](/makepkg/implementing-https-www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
midsummer2009, though I really wanted to. I have two remixthedrabble remixes due next week, two stories for ds_shakespeare and I've promised myself that I wouldn't sign up for anything else until I catch up with commenting and get myself moved over the Dreamwidth. *crosses fingers*
Big Bang is at 21,505 words and almost done. Part of a sex scene, a couple of smaller bits, and a final editing session and I will be done, thank fucking Christ. Even managed to wrangle a pretty nifty title for it.
I'm not totally happy with it, honestly. It's got some good parts, but it's not the story I wanted to tell. And I will probably get yelled for saying this, but I'm not entirely sure it's as good as I could write it. Or maybe I've just been living with it for so long that I can't see it clearly anymore...*shrug*
Today is my mother's birthday. She would have been 78 today. I'm still working through how I feel about it. /o\
It has been exactly two years since I quit smoking. Sometimes I dream about smoking a cigarette, about how it felt, the cigarette between my fingers, between my lips, that first inhale and pause...yeah, I still miss it. Wish I didn't. But I'm just happy to be able to say I quit two years ago. \o/
Continuation of birthday surprises: I got a card from
qe2 and one from secretlybronte, a postcard from bertybertle, and a package from leafy22. spuffyduds wrote me a HCL fic, Show-Off (mind the warnings). *smishes all of you* I'll post pics and a more thorough thank you after Big Bang is done.*deep breath*
Almost done. And then it's catch up time. Look at how good I'm being - I didn't sign up for
midsummer2009, though I really wanted to. I have two remixthedrabble remixes due next week, two stories for ds_shakespeare and I've promised myself that I wouldn't sign up for anything else until I catch up with commenting and get myself moved over the Dreamwidth. *crosses fingers*
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Date: 2009-06-02 07:35 am (UTC)Oh, how I know that feeling. I can't even look at mine at the moment because I swear it's all stopped making sense. Yay, you for being nearly done! *\o/*
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Date: 2009-06-02 08:10 am (UTC)And *hugs* for your mum's birthday.
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Date: 2009-06-02 01:43 pm (UTC)And you are being good, not signing up for every pretty challenge out there. I resisted (too lazy to code) midsummer too, mostly because my C6d is so limited. And I have two for ds_shakespeare I've yet to really think on, plus one for Frasermeetsray.
and I don't want to think about June and my RL obligations that were supposed to be FUN and not this stressful, dammit.
*smishes you back*
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Date: 2009-06-02 03:17 pm (UTC)That could be.
*hug*
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Date: 2009-06-02 04:00 pm (UTC)Anyway, your story is good, okay? You should be proud of it. And I totally get the feeling of not having any distance to it anymore, but I think you'll be able to reread it in a year and love it. And I'm really curious about the title, by the way.
And go you for keeping away from the smoking!
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Date: 2009-06-02 07:19 pm (UTC)Glad your parcel got to you, though I imagine it didn't quite get there in time...
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Date: 2009-06-02 07:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-03 12:50 am (UTC)Hey, kiddo, whatever and however you are feeling about the BB fic is totally valid. You know my opinion of it so, lest I embarrass myself here, let me say that you've written something fantastic, 'kay?
I'm still working through how I feel about it. /o\
Oh, Aka. {{hugs}}
Apparently, I've decided that this is going to be the summer of writin' considering I've signed up for
P.S.: Congrats on continuing to be smoke-free! :)
no subject
Date: 2009-06-03 07:10 am (UTC)I'm not totally happy with it, honestly. It's got some good parts, but it's not the story I wanted to tell. And I will probably get yelled for saying this, but I'm not entirely sure it's as good as I could write it.
I'm not going to yell at that. I agree with you here. Because, 1) it's never going to be exactly the story you set out to tell. How could it? Stories--especially long ones--change and evolve in the writing, and if they didn't, they wouldn't interest you enough to finish or readers enough to read, right? Also, 2) the art you actually make will never be as good as the pure conception of it in your head.
However, 3) THAT IS OKAY. It's normal, and nothing to worry about, and, really, why should any physically realized thing ever quite live up to that moment of pure inspiration? It's like faster-than-light travel or the total absence of friction or absolute zero, or something, right? Can't exist in the material realms? But the pure inspiration is still certainly real, and we still get to try again. And again, and again.
And 4) that doesn't mean you haven't made something wonderful.
In fact, I'll bet you have. :)
IMO, of course. YMMV. But I like my version of it. We all just go back and try again. You're a wonderful writer. Nothing to worry about here. {{{hugs}}}