An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

I'm trapped! I made the mistake of asking my husband what would be the best way to handle receiving the divorce papers. In other words, make arrangments to be with a trusted friend to be accountable and have a listening ear. Instead, he went into a manic phase and left his sober living house. Deciding he no longer has anything to live for, he drives a few hours north and checks into a hotel with the intent to harm himself. But before he does this, he stops by our home and leaves a "goodbye" note with mini peanut butter cups and says he'll call later. I call him and calmly talked to him and finally he comes back to town. He will be lucky if the sober living house lets him stay.  Then what?  My kids father on the streets? A mentally ill person who needs daily meds to live, let alone to stay sane, with no where to go.  I feel anxious and sad and maniputlated and trapped. I am working hard at giving this guy to my higher power but he holds on so damn tight tha...

Today I had to get a plumber. Things have been slowly falling apart in my house over the last 4 months. Its an old house with a lot of issues but it's mine and I love it. I had some electrical and plumbing problems, garage door stopped working and pestilence running amok in the garden. These were all things that I really didn't have to think about before, but now, fit squarely in my lap (often being ignored as I plunge my fingers in my ears saying, "NA NA NA NA"). Finally, I called a plumber and he came out and did his job. Afterwards, we talked and I looked him in the eyes and I thought: Are you an honest man? Do you keep secrets? Do you cheat on your wife and tell her you love her? Are you using something "extra" to get you through your day? I find myself doing this with many men I encounter. Looking into the windows of their souls, wondering; are you living a life full of secrets? I hope not for your sake and for the sake of all those who love yo...