Voices…I hear voices in the distance.  Maybe it’s one voice.  I want it to stop.  All I want is to sleep.
                                        ***

Voices again.  Why can’t they leave me alone?  It’s one voice now.  What is it saying?  Maybe if I answer it will stop.  If I can just open my eyes…

“Tom?  Tom!!  Oh, thank God!!”

It was my mother.  She was hugging me and crying.  What…?

“Mom?”  I could barely speak, my throat was so dry.  “What happened?”

As my head and vision cleared a bit I saw my parents and sister leaning over me.

“You were shot, Tom,” my father said.

“Shot?  How?  When?”

“At the meeting,” Mom said.  “Don’t you remember?”

I rubbed my head.  One side was very sore and was wrapped with a bandage.  “Ow!”  It all started to flood back into my memory.  “The meeting…the men with guns.”

My sister nodded.  I blinked at her.  It was then that I was aware of someone’s hand on my arm.  I turned to look to my other side.

“Cirrus?”

He smiled at me, tears filling his eyes.

“He’s been with you the whole time,” Mom said.

“He saved you,” Beck added.

“The bullet grazed your skull.  You lost a lot of blood,” my father said.  “The nearest hospital was too far for you to make it.”

“Many Wraeththu came to heal those who were hurt.  If not for them…”  My mom broke down.

Cirrus propped me up a bit and gave me a glass of water.

“The others…was anybody…?”

My father nodded.  “We lost two of our people.  No one we knew well.  They were killed instantly.  No hara were hit.”

I felt a bit woozy and could hardly believe it all.

Cirrus squeezed my hand and leaned over to kiss me on the forehead.  “I was so worried,” he said.  “We all were.  You were unconscious for three days.  It was all we could do to get water in you.”

“I’ll get you some broth,” my mom said.  “You need to get your strength back.”  She left the room with a motion to my Dad and sister to follow.  Then Cirrus and I were alone.  He looked into my eyes.

“I’m going to do more healing on you every day until you’re strong again.”  He sat on the bed beside me and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

Then suddenly a thought occurred to me.  I drew back and looked at Cirrus.

“How…?  How could this have happened?  I mean…”

He heaved a sigh and looked down.

“I know.  The hara let their guard down.  No one sensed them until the last minute.  We’re not infallible, we…”

Cirrus put his head in his hands.  I hugged him.

“I’m sure no one blames them.”

“No.  Your people are very understanding.  We blame ourselves.”

I didn’t know what to say.  Obviously the Wraeththu must have been devastated about the incident.  I decided to change the subject.

“Did you tell my family about ‘us’?”  I looked up at him.

“No,” he said, chuckling a bit.  “But I think they’ve figured it out.”

“Good, that’ll make it easier for me to tell them I’m becoming har.  And they’ll have to accept it since you saved my life.”  I grinned at him and he hugged me closer.

“You’ll have to be back to perfect health before you can even think of going through inception.”

I sighed.  “I know.  But I still want to tell them soon.  I don’t want it to be just a nice dream any more.  I want it to be something I can definitely look forward to; something that will become real.”


                                                           ~~~~***~~~~


Cirrus returned to the Wraeththu settlement but he came every day to visit and do healing on me.  I began to feel my strength coming back.  I sat up in bed now all day and I was not dizzy or nauseous when I got up to use the bathroom.  I was reading one day, enjoying an apple when my mom came in and sat on the bed.  She smiled at me but there was a sadness in her expression.

“What?  Is something wrong?” I asked.

She shook her head.  “No, not really.  I just…”  She took my hand.  “I’m very thankful that Cirrus is taking such good care of you.  I like him.  We all do.”

I knew what was on her mind.

“I like him, too.  A lot.”  Then giving her a knowing smile, I added, “You know it’s more than that, don’t you?”

She nodded.  “It’s pretty obvious.”

I felt my face become hot and I looked away.  “I love him, Mom.” I turned back to meet her eyes once more.  “And he loves me.”

“I figured as much.  But I don’t quite understand.  He’s not human, right?  I mean how can you have a relationship?  And I know Wraeththu are male and female so…I’m sorry, Tom, but I don’t see how this can work.”

“It can’t.  Unless I become one of them.”

She looked a bit perplexed and more than a bit concerned.  “So the rumors are true.”

I nodded.  “Yes, but the Wraeththu everyone hears about abduct boys and force them to do it.  I’m doing it by choice.”

“Are you sure this is what you want?  You’re so young.  How can you be so certain?”

I gently squeezed her hand and looked purposefully into her eyes.  “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.  I’d rather die than not be with Cirrus.  And I felt the call to be one of them even before I fell in love with him.  I know this is what I was destined to be and Cirrus is the one I’m meant to be with.  There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind, Mom, no doubt.  You can see that can’t you?”

“Yes.  I can.  All I want for my children is for them to be happy.”  She got up and walked toward the door.  “After it happens, will we ever see you again?”  Tears formed in her eyes.

“Of course you will.  I’ll only be across the river.”

She smiled but we both knew it wouldn’t be the same.  She gently closed the door behind her and I wiped the tears from my face.


                                             <>*<>*<>*<>*<>

Beck, of course, had long since guessed what my plans for the future would be and she was happy for me, though sad that I’d be leaving home.  The only one I hadn’t really spoken to one on one with was my father.  I’d always had a close relationship with him and his total silence on this very major issue was a complete aberration.  I wasn’t sure what made him reluctant to bring it up but I knew I had to discuss it with him.

I think he felt the need to speak about it and I also knew I had to be the one to initiate that.  As soon as I’d healed enough to be up and around like normal,  I decided to invite him to go fishing with me.  That way we could have a private heart to heart with no interruptions.  The day I suggested it, he agreed happily and we set off down the banks of the river.  It was a beautiful late summer day and though the air was warm and comfortable, the tension between us was not.  Finally, we sat on some rocks near a naturally formed deep pool and cast in our lines.  We sat for a while in silence listening to the sound of the rippling water, the twittering birds and the breeze gently rustling the leaves.

It’s now or never, I told myself.

“Dad?  Um, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I guess Mom told you about me wanting to become Wraeththu.”

He nodded.

“And about Cirrus…and all.”

He shifted his position on the rock and looked uneasy.

“I know it’s all kind of strange, but…”  I didn’t know quite what to say.  He looked over at me with an expression of unmistakable concern on his face

“Is it because Cirrus is a male and I’m attracted to him?  Or because he’s part female and I want to be that, too?”

He shook his head.  “No, no it’s not that.  I think I’m pretty open minded about that stuff.  It’s…it’s just--”

“That this isn’t the future you envisioned for your son,” I finished.

He heaved a sigh and looked back out over the river.  “None of this is the future I envisioned, for any of us.  I mean, we took you and your sister away from a normal life.  We moved out here and…I don’t know.”  He rubbed his hand over his forehead.

I put my hand on his shoulder.  “Beck and I know you and Mom decided to move here because you thought it was best for us.  Even though we didn’t want to come here, we always knew you did it to protect us and because you love us.  In spite of everything, we never doubted that for a minute.”

He seemed to feel better and gave me a smile.

“And when I met the hara and found out that I could be one of them, it was all I thought about.  I’ve known from the moment I met them, even before I knew it was possible, that I was destined to be har.  Then I met Cirrus.  I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about him.  We love each other and want to be together as far into the future as we can imagine.  The Wraeththu call it ‘chesna.’  We’ve already pledged ourselves to one another.”  I looked into my father’s eyes and smiled.  “I haven’t told that to anyone yet.”

He seemed touched.

“Your mother and I, we just want you to be happy.”

“Yeah, she told me the same thing.  Believe me, if I’m able to be with Cirrus, I will be.”

My Dad patted my knee and reeled in his line to cast it out again.  It was settled.


                                        ***<><><>***


The next time Cirrus came to visit and do healing on me, he told me that I was completely healed.  I was ecstatic.  We took a walk by the river.

He slipped his hand into mine and said, “There’s nothing to prevent you from becoming one of us now.”  He stopped and faced me, taking both my hands in his.  “Are you ready?  I don’t want to rush--”

“Yes,” I interrupted, smiling into his sky-blue eyes.  “I’m ready. So ready.”




We sealed it with a kiss and it was decided that I’d come to the Wraeththu settlement the next day to begin the Forale:  the three day ritual of fast and cleansing.


                                                     <><>**<><>


That morning, I awoke early.  As I sat thinking on the edge of the bed, my glance settled on several of the gifts I’d gotten for my birthday.  Those things and many of things there in my room meant a lot to me.   What would I take with me?  Would my clothes even fit or be appropriate?  I wouldn’t physically be a ‘boy’ anymore.  I looked out the window at the morning sky and decided I’d take nothing with me but my body and soul.  These things would stay here with my family and I could look at them when I visited.  I took the clothes on my back and the necklace Cirrus had given me.  I hadn’t taken it off since he put it on me.  

I walked out into the kitchen where my family was eating breakfast.

“Are you sure you can’t have anything to eat?”  My mom asked.

I shook my head.  “No.  I need to fast.  Cirrus told me it will make the transition easier for me.  Smells good though.”

My mom got up and came over to me, grabbing me into a hug.  I could tell she was crying.  

“It’s okay, Mom.  I’ll be fine.  You’ll see me soon, I promise.”

“You’re not going to be my little boy anymore.”

I chuckled.  “That would happen anyway, right?”

She nodded, wiping her eyes.  My father then came and hugged me.

“See you soon,” he said.

It was then Beck’s turn.  “I’ll be jealous if you turn out prettier than me,” she said pouting at me.  After having a laugh, she hugged me.  “We’re really lucky, you and I.  I have Josh and you have Cirrus.”

“Yeah, we’re lucky,”  I repeated, my eyes filling with tears.

Just then there was a knock on the door.  It was Cirrus.  After greeting my family he offered to wait for me outside, but I said I was ready to go with him.

As we walked away from the house, I wiped my eyes.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m fine.”  I looked into his eyes and he gently took me into his arms. When we crossed the river, my spirits lifted and I looked forward to my future.

When we went through the barrier, Cirrus took me to a tent that was to be the forale ‘house.’  I got undressed and into a nightshirt.  Cirrus sat by me on the small bed that had been set up for me there and took my hand.

“Some hara will come to take care of you for the next three days.  They’ll wash you and give you water and tea.  When I leave, I won’t be allowed to see you except for the actual inception when I give you my blood.”

I nodded my head solemnly.  Cirrus gently tipped my face up with his fingers.

“But after the change, I’ll be waiting.”  

We leaned into a kiss and all my apprehension melted away and I knew in my heart that whatever I was about to go through would be worth it in the end.


                                             <><><>*****<><><>


At the end of my three days of fast and cleansing, I felt weak but anxious to get on with the process.  On the final day, I was washed and dressed in a white robe.  I was given something to relax me, so I was a bit out of it.  I still could hear voices around me as I lay on my bed.  I figured I was no longer in the forale house, but I had no idea of my exact location and I really didn’t care.  I remember seeing Cirrus’s face above me as he kissed my forehead.  I felt something cold on my arm, then it felt hot.  Somehar was speaking a prayer or something and I felt pressure on my arm.  I was vaguely cognizant of that being the moment of inception when Cirrus’ blood mingled with mine.  The last thing I consciously remembered was thinking:  It’s happening…it’s really happening…

The next several days were a blur of pain, hallucination and unconsciousness.  I remember feeling some-har trying to wash me and dabbing my face with cool water.  When I’d feel the pain, it was horrific; like someone was burning me inside and twisting my guts around.  Then suddenly it would fade into oblivion.

One day I awoke to the sound of birds chirping and the breeze blowing through the trees.  I found myself in a white tent, clean and pain free.  Was it over?  Was I one of them now?  I felt my face and looked at my hands.  Stll freckled, still me but somehow…different.  I seemed to be naked so I gathered my courage and lifted the covers to look at the rest of me.  I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized I was still male, but something was different.  Then I remembered what I’d been told.  That was my ouana-lim.  It’s done.  I’m har.  I gently and gingerly slid my fingers further to check out my ‘girl’ parts.  Sure enough, there was what I then remembered was my soume-lam.  The whole thing was a little overwhelming to me so I laid there taking it all into my mind.

Out of nowhere, I detected something on the air, something familiar.  A scent of lavender and spice. Cirrus!

I looked toward the door of the tent and Cirrus stood there silhouetted by the sunlight behind him, his long shirt flowing about him in the breeze.  He looked like an angel and I thought back to the first time I’d ever seen him and his kindred.  Even though I now knew better, they still looked like angels to me.  He came over and knelt by my bed, taking my hand in his and raising it to his lips.  He closed his eyes and said , You are Wraeththu now, my beloved--one of us.  But he hadn’t actually spoken. I’d heard his voice in my mind.  I smiled at him and he gave me a sweet chaste kiss on the lips.  It felt different, so much more intense than before, like someone had opened up all my senses.

A har appeared behind Cirrus and handed him a large mug, then bowed and left.  Cirrus helped me to sit up and handed me the mug.  

“This is a special tea to bring you strength.  Drink it slowly but drink it all.”

He sat by me on the bed while I sipped the warm, sweet tea.

“How long was I sick?”  I asked.

“Three days.  You did very well.  I attribute that to your youth,” he said with smile.

Suddenly a thought shot into my mind.

“What…what do I look like?  Can I see myself?”

“Certainly.  Come with me.”

I stood up, still feeling a bit weak.  Cirrus helped me over to the corner of the tent.  There stood what looked like an antique full-length mirror.  I got a little nervous.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said.  “You’re beautiful.  I didn’t think it was possible for you to be any more beautiful than you already were but--see for yourself.”

Even though I was anxious to see myself, I tentatively stepped in front of the mirror with my eyes closed.  The vague memory of my peeling skin was still very fresh in my mind.  I opened my eyes and looked at my reflection.  I could hardly believe that the slim, elegant creature staring back at me was--me!  I touched my face and looked closer into my own eyes.

“Yes, my love,”  Cirrus said, putting his arms around me from behind.  “It’s you.”

I stared for a few more minutes as Cirrus stepped away.  He came back with a robe and helped me into it.  “Let’s go to my tent.  I have a gift for you.”

We walked through the enchanting pathways of the settlement until we got to Cirrus’s tent.  It was made of a creamy-yellow hued material, which gave the inside a warm mellow feeling as it diffused the sunlight.  He lead me to his room, that was bathed in the same softening glow as the entry way.  There were banners of silky diaphanous fabric of varying delicate colors hung on the tent walls.  

“These are for you,” Cirrus said, indicating some clothes lying on his silken gold bedcover.  I smoothed my hand over the emerald velvet of the tunic and leggings and smiled over at him.  “These are beautiful.”

“Go ahead.  Get dressed.  I’m taking you to your inception ceremony and then to a party at Andren’s home.”

He stepped close to me and pressed his lips to mine.  Then we’ll come back here and finally be alone.  He spoke into my mind and then we shared breath for the first time as hara.  He showed me golden clouds and blue skies.  I felt his love for me in such an intimate way that I can’t describe it in mere words.  I became aware of sensations in parts of me that I literally had not yet fully discovered that I had. When he drew away, I still stood with my eyes closed, a bit disoriented, wishing it hadn’t had to end.

Cirrus chuckled.  “That is only a taste of the delights we’ll share.”

I opened my eyes, wondering how I’d be able to stand it and wanting desperately to find that out.

Cirrus handed me the clothes as I tried reluctantly to come back to reality.  I got dressed as Cirrus went over to a wardrobe and brought back a pair of black boots and something silver.  I put on the boots and stood up.

“Perfect!” he said.  “I knew the green would be gorgeous with your red hair.  Turn around.”

I turned and he pulled the long part of my hair into a ponytail and tied it with the silver cord.   I’d let my hair grow ever since I’d seen the hara at the river.

“There.” he said, giving me the once-over.  He looked into my eyes.  “You are so exquisite.”  I still felt like the skinny awkward fifteen-year-old I’d been but I remembered my image in the mirror and began to believe his words of praise.

“We’d better go before I lose my resolve not to take you right now,” he said.  I truly wished he would do just that.

Cirrus took my hand and we walked through the settlement together.   “Something on your mind?”

“Yes!  A lot of things,” I answered with a laugh.  “But I was just thinking that you’d never before shown me your home.”

He chuckled and looked a bit embarrassed.  “I guess I didn’t trust myself.  And I wanted to wait until it was your home, too.”  He squeezed my hand.  “Have you given any thought to what your har name will be?”

“I, uh…not really.”

“How would you feel about ‘Scarlet?’  I’ve seen you with that name ever since I met you.”

“Scarlet,”  I repeated.  “Yeah, I like it.”

We walked to the square, where I’d assumed the ceremony would take place but he lead me on to the other end of the settlement where many hara were standing among the ancient trees.  When they saw our approach, they formed themselves into two lines, with Andren standing alone at the other end.  Cirrus locked his arm in mine and we walked down the middle of the two lines of hara as they bowed.  Yellow leaves fell slowly from the trees as we walked.  The whole thing felt like a dream.  Cirrus and I stopped in front of Andren and all were silent until Andren spoke.

“We gather here today to welcome a new inceptee.  He has passed through the trial of pain and has been forever changed.  He is now Wraeththu:  one of us, bound to our clan by blood and will.  We also honor the chesna bond that has been forged between these two.”  

Andren turned to me.  “What name have you chosen for yourself?”

I looked to Cirrus and then answered, “Scarlet.”

Andren placed a hand on both our heads and whispered a blessing and prayer.  He then took both my hands in his and said, “Welcome, Scarlet.”  He kissed me and then Cirrus on both cheeks in turn.

“Let us now welcome our newest brother!”

Hara clapped and cheered.  Then we mingled for a while as har after har came to congratulate me and Cirrus and to welcome me personally as one of their own.

Soon the crowd dispersed and some of us headed toward Andren and Brinn’s tent for the reception party.  We enjoyed the food, drink and well-wishes of Andren and Cirrus’s closest friends for an hour or so.  As I finished my second glass of sheh, Cirrus leaned close and said, “I think it’s time we took our leave.”  He turned my face to his and kissed me as hara cheered and whistled.  I was a little embarrassed, but in such an ecstatic way that it was very pleasant.  I also felt a stirring that was somewhat familiar to me but was now of such a powerful and intricately intense nature that it almost overtook me.  I caught my breath as Cirrus parted us, much to the amusement of the attending hara.

“I envy you,” Andren said with a knowing grin.  “Your first aruna is always…enlightening.”  

Hara laughed and chortled.  A toast was made to Cirrus and me as we stood up to leave.  We left Andren’s tent, the hoots and whistles of the hara fading as we made our way to Cirrus’s tent:  our tent, our home.


                                           ***<>*<>*<>*<>***


Once inside, Cirrus went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of wine.  He took my hand giving me a look that sent shivers all through me, pleasant shivers of desire.  He sat the bottle down on a bedside table and walked back to me.  He looked into my eyes as he slipped his hand around my waist gently removing the silver cord from my hair with the other.  I closed my eyes and parted my lips as he touched his own to mine.  Soon, I saw my first meeting with Cirrus in my mind’s eye and events after that flashed before me--but no, it wasn’t that.  Cirrus was giving them to me.  I began to think with him and felt our minds touch as we shared images of our times together.  It was a waking dream that we were sharing; giving and taking, mingling our images and innermost feelings.  It was an intimate, erotic sharing like I never could have imagined.  Our bodies, minds and our very souls seemed to merge and melt into one.  

When Cirrus parted us, I still felt as though I was in another world as he gently laid me back on the bed.  He slowly removed my tunic, and then my pants, kissing me lightly on my skin as he did so.  I opened my eyes to see him undress, his pale, slender body and white-gold hair made him look like a divine being.

He lay next to me and planted warm, wet kisses on my neck, then murmured into my ear, “You’re mine now, truly mine and I am yours…forever.”

We again shared breath as we explored each other’s bodies.  Cirrus slid his fingers to my soume-lam, that rather mysterious part of my new anatomy.  I felt an ache deep inside me that was a mixture of pleasure and pain, desire and need.  Involuntary sounds issued from my mouth; unbidden noises of pleasure that I couldn’t control.  Suddenly, I felt another strange sensation and I caught in my breath as I realized what was happening.  My ouana-lim recoiled into my body and I became soume.  Cirrus and I shared breath again and I touched his ounna-lim.  The shaft was hard but the skin was like velvet.  After a short time, he flowered in my hand, as his delightful soft sounds of pleasure were whispered in my ear.

I felt something deep within me; a burning fire of need that could only be quenched by him inside me.  I lay on my back and involuntarily uttered needy sounds.  I was beyond being able to form words, but I didn’t need to.  We’d passed beyond them.  My every need was known to him and he met each one immediately and perfectly.  

Finally he entered me gently and the intensity of pleasure was almost unbearable.  We moved together and I felt the burning in my core cry out for him.  When the quenching tongue struck my core, colors flowed in my mind’s eye as my body quaked and spasmed.  I felt like I was melting; melting into one with him.

At almost the same time, I sensed his ouana-lim pulsing inside me, adding to our shared ecstacy.  Afterward, I lay immobile and really didn’t care if I ever moved again.  Cirrus gently slid out of me and nestled by my side, kissing my neck and face and murmuring things I couldn’t really hear.  But I sensed their intention and I returned the sentiments to him in mind touch, still feeling that words would only fail me.

We lay like that close and silent for quite some time.  I found myself wondering if it could ever feel quite like that again.  It did.  There was something unique about that first time, it’s true, but every time with Cirrus was exquisite and almost surreal.

We spent I believe a whole week alone, together in our little cocoon of erotic pleasures.    We stayed in our tent; eating, drinking, rooning, bathing and sleeping.  I never wanted it to end.

“Do all hara feel like this at first?”  I asked him after a delectable arunic gambol.  He leaned close and kissed my neck, then whispered in my ear, “Only the lucky ones, my love.  Only the lucky ones.”

Finally, it was time for us to branch out into the rest of the world.  So after a week, we agreed to get dressed and leave the tent, somewhat reluctantly.  I watched Cirrus pour the coffee for us and sit across from me at the small round table in the corner of the kitchen.

“I don’t think we’ve been this far away from each other since our first night,” I said.  He chuckled at me.  We began to eat the pancakes I’d helped him prepare.

“Would you like to visit your family?” he asked.  I nodded, eagerly.

“It seems strange now to call them my family because we’re chesna.
You’re my family now.  But I guess they still are, too.”

“Well, in the interest of clarity, let’s call them your family and me you’re ‘one and only,’” he joked.

After cleaning things up, we stepped out of the tent and into a perfect early autumn day.  Beryl and saffron-colored leaves fluttered down and swirled around our feet as we made our way through the settlement.  I started to feel a little apprehensive as we got closer to my family’s house.  I didn’t know why except that I felt so different.  I guess I was afraid my feelings for them would be different, too.  I would soon find out that wasn’t true, much to my relief.

When we got to the door, I almost knocked.  Then I laughed at myself and shook my head.  Cirrus gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Mom?  Anybody here?”  I called.  Soon my mother and sister came out of the kitchen.  They stopped in their tracks.  Beck’s jaw dropped open.

Tom!!”  my mom exclaimed.  “My God!  Is that really you?”

I felt my cheeks flush as she rushed over and hugged me.  After a few moments, she pulled back.  “Let me look at you!”  She covered her mouth with her hands.

“I’m speechless,” she said.  “You look kind of older, but ageless, really.”  She looked me up and down and then touched my face.  “You’re beautiful.”

“Damn!!” my sister shouted.  “You ARE prettier than me!”

She rushed over and hugged me.  “And I’ll never forgive you for that.  You brat!”

She’d gotten us all laughing.  “Well, sit down!”  Mom said.  “Your father and Josh are tending to some horses.  They should be back soon.

I felt my stomach flutter.  I was thrilled with the reactions of my mom and sister but Dad and Josh.  I was a bit afraid of what they’d think of me.

Mom got us all some iced tea and we talked for a while, until I heard a commotion at the door.  My dad and Josh were talking and stomping the dirt off their boots.  They opened the door and entered in their stocking feet.

“I like the dappled one,” Josh said.  He’s got spirit.  I think--”  He stopped in mid- sentence and stared at me, then Cirrus then Beck.  My Dad only stared at me.

“Tom?”  He came toward me slowly as I stood up.  His face morphed from surprise to approval, as a smile graced his lips.  He gave me a hug.  “Tom.  God, it’s good to see you.”  I hugged him back.  When we’d let go he, too looked me over.  “You…you look great, really great.”  I could tell he was a bit stunned.  “How do you feel?”

“Wonderful.  Different…” I said with a self-conscious smile.  “But wonderful.  Oh, and I’m called Scarlet now.”

My dad turned to shake hands with Cirrus as Josh approached me.

“Wow!”  he said extending his hand, which I gratefully took to shake.  “You sure are one of them!”  He gave me a wide smile.  “I guess you kinda always were.”

I took it as a compliment and figured he understood.  A wave of relief came over me.

Cirrus and I spent the day with my family and even ate dinner with them.  They all wanted to know what inception was like.  Beck was the only one to ask me what aruna was like--and in front of everyone!  I knew she just wanted to see if I’d still turn vermillion.  She wasn’t disappointed.  Of course Mom told her that was private and was mortified that she’d asked.  But I’m sure no one was surprised that she did.  This was Beck, after all.  I knew some day I’d tell her about it.

That night as Cirrus and I lay wrapped in each other’s arms, I mulled over the day’s events and felt peace.  I’m sure Cirrus sensed it, as he could sense just about everything I was feeling.

“So, you’re happy with the way your family sees you and feels about you now?”

I nodded into his chest.  “Yeah.  It’s actually a load off my mind.  They’re still important to me.”  I raised up and looked into his eyes.  “That’s okay, isn’t it?”

He chuckled.  “Of course it is.  It’s just that most hara don’t live in such close proximity to their human family.  It’s kind of a unique circumstance.  But I have a feeling it won’t be so unique before long.  We’ve already had quite a few boys express interest in becoming Wraeththu.  We’re breaking new ground here.  I have a feeling it’s going to be quite an adventure.”

As he kissed me, I thought back to when I’d first felt the need to answer the call of the beckoning ‘angels’. I knew Cirrus and I were also about to embark on an adventure of our own:  one I was certain would last as long as we lived.






                                         <>* THE END *<>





 



















 

 






 



















 








 



 




    











 


 



 













    











 

                                                      


I woke up on Friday full of anticipation.  Not really because it was my birthday but because Cirrus had asked me to come that day to see him.  I walked into the kitchen, still a bit groggy and my mom was there cooking.

“Hey there, birthday boy.”

“Mom, I’m fifteen.”

“Okay, I know.  I made an omelet for you and waffles.”

“Mmmm, thanks.  Where is everybody?”

“Dad’s out back and Beck’s with Josh.  I’m glad you got to sleep in.  And no chores for you today.  What would you like to do?  Go fishing, I bet.”

“Uh, yeah.  That’s what I want.”  Mom was acting weird.  I shrugged, thinking it was just because she was happy about it being my birthday and all. Moms love stuff like that.  I was very happy that she expected me to go to the river.  That meant there was nothing in the way of my seeing Cirrus.

After breakfast, I got myself cleaned up and told my mom I was leaving.

“Okay, have fun.  And take your time.  I have to bake your cake yet.”

“Uh, okay, Mom.  See ya.”  She seemed almost too happy.  If I hadn’t known better I’d have thought she’d found Josh’s secret stash by the river.  I shook it off and my heart lightened, knowing I’d soon be with Cirrus.

When I got to the barrier, Cirrus came through.  He took my hand and gave me a look that made me melt inside.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said as he leaned close to kiss my forehead.  “Let’s go.”

We stepped through the barrier and Cirrus gave me a smile and squeezed my hand.  We walked to a grassy clearing in the woods and sat down together on the soft forest floor.

“I’ve got something for you,” he said.  “Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”

I giggled at his intrigue and held out my hand.  I felt him take it and place something smooth in it.

“Okay.  Open your eyes.”

There in my hand was a black polished stone symbol on a cord.  I’d never seen anything like it.

“It’s beautiful,” I said as I smoothed it over and turned it in my hand.  It was round with three concentric circles carved near the outer edge.  There were three dots at the top inside the circles and three convergent rays emanating downward and outward from the dots.  The carvings were painted gold.  “Is it a harish symbol?”

“We have adopted it but it’s an ancient celtic symbol.  Each ray has three meanings.”  He cupped my hand in his as he pointed to the carvings.  “One is for past, present and future, one is for love, knowledge and truth, and one is for male and female energy and the balance between the two.  To me they mean my hope for the two of us--you becoming har, our love for each other and our future together.”

I looked into his eyes and then hugged him fiercely, tears springing to my eyes.  “I love it.  It’s so beautiful.”  I pulled back to look at him.  “And it’s from you.  I’ll never take it off.”

Cirrus fastened my new treasure around my neck and then kissed me there, gently. “Happy birthday, my love,” he said.

I pressed my lips to his and began to feel the warmth of desire spread through me.  I opened to him and our tongues touched and played.  I knew we should stop but I couldn’t help myself.  I felt his love and need enter my mind and soul and I never wanted our kiss to end.  But inevitably, he pulled away, leaving me breathless.

“Gods,” he said.  “We shouldn’t do this,” he said.  “We shouldn’t…”

He stood up and turned away from me.  I got up quickly and hugged him from behind.  He touched my embracing arms and heaved a sigh. No words passed between us, but I didn’t have to be har to know that he was thinking the same thing I was and feeling the same pain of wanting to be together but knowing it was impossible.

“Let’s take a walk,” he finally said.  I nodded and we walked slowly through the wooded path, my hand in his.  When we got to the river, we sat on the rocky shore and stared out at the gently rippling water.  Cirrus looked so forlorn that I thought maybe I should go; that my being there was only making it more difficult for him.

“Do you want me to go?  I don’t mind if--”

“No!” he interrupted.  He pulled me closer, put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.  “No, of course I don’t.  I’m sorry.  I just…”

“I know,” I said, looking into his lovely blue eyes.

“I know you do,” he said, finally smiling, and squeezing me tighter.

I spent the entire afternoon with Cirrus.  We talked, touched, and simply enjoyed the intense bliss of being together.  It was the most wonderful birthday of my life.  I tried to keep the thought of having to leave out of my mind for the day.  It was too painful to endure.  But as inevitably as the sun had to set, we had to part, yet again.  We stepped through the barrier and Cirrus pulled me close.  

“Someday, my love, we won’t be separated. Someday,” he said softly.

Tears prickled my eyes and I held him desperately close.  “I wish I could stay with you--today and forever.”

He pulled back and gave me a wan smile.  “I was going to save this for another time, but…”  He looked into my eyes, holding both my hands in his.  “I want us to be together forever, too.  That’s why…that’s why I want to ask you to be my chesnari.  You understand what that means, right?  I know you’re still human, but I want that promise between us--to give us hope.”

I flung myself against him and hugged him tight. “Yes, I know what it means--that we pledge ourselves to each other.  And yes, I’ll be your chesnari.  Yes, yes, yes…” I murmured into his neck.  We shared an intense kiss but managed to part without going too far.

“I can’t explain my intense feelings for you,” he murmured, still holding me in his arms.  “That’s the way it is with love, I guess.  Even though you’re still human, I see you--I see you as har--as mine.”  he buried his face in my neck.

“I’ve never felt like this--ever, human or har,” he murmured. “Being with you is euphoria and agony.  It overwhelms me sometimes.  I guess this is why some hara feel we shouldn’t fall in love.  But without this agony and ecstasy, it wouldn’t be life.  It would be existence.  Who wants to simply exist for over a hundred years--”  

He heaved a sigh.  “I’m sorry.”  He chuckled.  “I tend to get a bit carried away sometimes.”  He drew back and met my eyes with his.  “Only about you.  Just you,” he said sounding almost helpless.  My eyes welled up.

“Something about you,” he said.  “I saw it the moment we met and it grew and blossomed.  You’re so beautiful, so innocent and lovely.  How could I not fall.”

I grabbed him into a hug and sobbed.  “I…I--”

“I know,” he whispered.  He took a deep breath and loosed his hold on me.

 “Have a wonderful birthday with your family.  And come back soon.  I’ll be waiting.”

He gently swept my bittersweet tears away with his fingers.  “Thank you for my gift,” I managed.  “I’ll treasure it.”

He let go of me and quickly turned and disappeared into his world.  I reluctantly walked away toward mine.  

By the time I’d gotten within sight of my house, I’d pulled myself together and decided I wouldn’t be unhappy in front of my family.  I stepped inside our door and closed it behind me, turning around.

“SURPRISE!!!!”

There in the front room were all of my family and Josh and his family, too!  I was floored.  Looking at all of them and realizing how much they’d done to make my birthday truly happy, I felt my heart lighten.  

“Come on in,” my mom said, excitedly.  “Your birthday dinner is served!”

We really had to crowd around the table and some extra chairs had appeared, probably borrowed from Josh’s parents.  As we were eating and conversing, I noticed my Mom staring at me.

“Your necklace,” she said.  “Isn’t that new? Where did you get it?”

I froze, my mind blank and blinked back at my mother.  I’ve got to say something! Think!  ( Read more...Collapse )Think!  

“From me,” Liz said, suddenly.  “He got it from me.  An early birthday gift.”

“Well, it’s beautiful,” my mom added.

I let out the breath I’d been holding and mouthed a “thank you” to Liz, who gave me a wink.

After dinner, we had the cake, complete with fifteen matches, as birthday candles were impossible to get.  And then, much to my surprise, there were presents!  My Dad had found a real fishing rod and reel for me, Josh gave me a book of his I’d shown interest in, Annie drew a picture of me, complete with freckles and Beck gave me an IOU to do my chores for a week.  From Liz I got a t-shirt, taken from the miscellaneous goods we could choose from, acquired on the rare trips certain people took to the city for supplies.  It was green with black letters that said:

authentic redhead
(keep out of direct sunlight)

I was genuinely touched by all the gifts.  They had real meaning to them and were given with a lot of thought and caring.  I managed to thank everyone without blubbering, for which I was grateful.

After that we all helped with the cleanup--all but me, that is.   My mom insisted that I not work on my birthday.   We visited together for a while until Beck asked if we could go look at the stars.

“Sure,” my dad said.  “You young people go have fun,” Mom added.

When we got outside, I grabbed Liz by the arm as Josh and Beck walked ahead.
“Thanks for saving my ass earlier--about the necklace, I mean.”

She giggled. “You’re welcome.”

“How did you know it was from Cirrus?”

“I could tell just by looking at it.  It was too exotic to have come from anyone else.  Besides, the petrified look on your face would have given it away, anyway.”

“Well, thanks, really!  And thanks for the t-shirt, too.”

“At first, I just saw the green and thought it would look good on you but then when I saw what it said, I knew I had to get it!”

We had a wonderful night as usual, sharing the pot, the river and the beautiful heavenly show of stars.


                                           ….>>>>>**<<<<<....


After the first meeting between Andren and Mr. Harrison, I made it my habit to get to the river via the road that passed by his house.  One day, he was on his porch as I went by.  My heart leapt as he walked over to me.

“Hi, Tom.  How’ve you been?”

“Fine.”  I tried to speak calmly but I was dying to hear what he had to say.  He leaned on the fence.

“The meetings have been going very well.  As a matter of fact, Andren and I both decided it was time to include more of our people.  I’ve decided to take several of my most trusted friends to the next meeting.  We want to take this to the next level.”

I was ecstatic!  It was all I could do to control myself from squealing or jumping up and down or something else entirely immature and inappropriate.  But I managed to use some self control.

“Really?!  That’s…that’s great!  Wonderful!”  I was able to stop there and collect myself some more.

“Yes, we think so, too.  I want to eventually include about fifty of our most trusted and admired people in the meetings.  Then when the time is right to reveal our collaboration to the whole community, there will be a large group of our outstanding citizens behind the idea.  What do you think?”

“I think that’s the best news I’ve ever heard!”

He chuckled.  “Well, it will be a while yet.  We want to take it slow and make sure the outcome will be what we want and what’s best for all of us.  But we’re making progress and I wanted you to know.”

“Thanks, Mr. Harrison.  Thanks a lot!”

“I’ll keep you informed.”

I nodded to him and headed off for the river, walking on air.  I couldn’t wait until our communities were as one, then Cirrus and I could be, too.


                                              _>->->***<-<-<_


Time seemed to pass slowly for me.  The meetings went on secretly all summer and Mr. Harrison kept me abreast of the progress, but it seemed to be taking an eternity!  Finally one day in late August I got the news I’d been hoping and praying for.

I’d walked past Mr. Harrison’s but there was no sign of him.  I sighed, wishing he’d give me an update.  It had been quite a while since I’d heard anything.  I didn’t even go as far down the river as usual, feeling a bit lazy and disheartened.  I cast my line into the river and sat on the grass.  After a while I heard someone approaching, and was surprised to see Mr. Harrison making his way down the riverbank.  He waved and smiled when he saw me.  He hurried the rest of the way and was a little out of breath when he reached me.

“Hi, Tom.  I was hoping to find you.  I saw you go by the house but I couldn’t come out right then.”  He sat down beside me and caught his breath.

“I’ve got good news,” he said smiling.  I stared back in anticipation.

“After meeting for months with the Wraeththu and getting many of our people, on both their side and ours, agreed on our collaboration, we’ve decided the time is finally right to reveal our plans to our community.  The Wraeththu community already knows.  I’m going to announce this at the next meeting.  Andren and several other hara are going to be there.  I’m going to introduce them to the community.”

I was stunned and speechless.  “Y-you mean…really?!  It’s going to happen?  Soon?!”  I’m sure I was all smiles.

“Yep!  This week at the meeting.”

“That’s…” I had to stop and think.  “That’s three days from now!”

“Sure is!  I knew you’d be pleased.”

“Pleased?!  I’m…I’m…”

He laughed, patted me on the back and then stood up to leave.  “I’m excited about it, too.  I had to tell you.  After all, you helped make it happen.  I’ll see you at the meeting.”

As I watched him walk away, I felt like I should pinch myself.  I could hardly believe it was real.  I sat staring out over the sparkling water, one thought in my mind:  I HAVE to see Cirrus!

I looked up into the sky, shading my eyes.  The sun was still high so I figured I had time to venture across the river.  Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought of being with Cirrus.  I made it to the barrier and waited until someone sensed me.  A har came through and smiled at me.  He took my hand and we crossed the barrier, the familiar tingling danced through my body as we came through.

“I’ll take you to Cirrus,”  he said with a smile.  

How did he know?  I’d never seen him before.  Then suddenly I recognized him--the dark-haired har that had been swimming with Cirrus that day at the river.  I felt my face get hot and I tried not to let my embarrassment show.  Maybe he didn’t even know that I’d gotten upset that day.  But who was I kidding?  He was har!  He could probably read me like a book.  They all could.  My shame was probably flashing like a neon sign to them!  I was thinking of running away when I saw Cirrus ahead of us on the path talking with several hara.  He turned to me and his smile made me forget about everything else.

“Look who I found,” the dark-haired har said to Cirrus with a grin.  Cirrus took my hand in his and we walked further down the path together.  He leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“What a perfect surprise,” he said.  We walked a short distance and sat on a stone bench by the path.

“I saw Mr. Harrison today,” I said, barely able to contain my excitement.  “He told me that your leaders are coming to our next community meeting!”

“I wondered if you knew yet.”  He put his arm around me, drew me close and kissed the top of my head.  I encircled his waist with my arm and snuggled into him.  We didn’t need to say anything.  We both knew this meant our time of being able to be together was drawing nearer. He sighed.  “Knowing it’s close only makes me want it to happen faster.”  He gave me a squeeze.  “But I’m so happy--especially with you here in my arms.”  He pulled away and took my face in his hands, looking into my eyes.  “Sometimes I feel so…inappropriate,” he said, looking a bit sad.  “You’re really still a child.  But I already see you as the har you’ll become.  Then age will have no meaning for us.”

I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heart.  “It already has no meaning for me.  The only thing that does is my love for you and to know you love me back.”  He enfolded me in his arms and we stayed there, neither of us wanting to ever let go.


                                      :::::::~~~****~~~~:::::::


The next three days seemed to drag interminably.  Finally it was Thursday:  the day of our weekly community meeting but this one would be monumental.  My family and I filed into the meeting house like all the others.  We sat next to Josh and his family.  Liz gave me a secret smile and she took my arm and squeezed it excitedly as she sat down next to me.  She and I were the only ones who knew that the Wraeththu leaders would be making an appearance.  I’d told her Monday night when we were alone sitting by the river.

The meeting seemed to go on forever.  We discussed crop planting, animal breeding, supply levels and other tedious subjects.  Finally, as everyone assumed the meeting was about to end, Mr. Harrison held his hands up.

“May I have your attention!  Your attention, please.”

Everyone got quiet.

“Thank you.  There’s one more item of business to attend to. New business. VERY new business,” he added with a smile.  He motioned with his hands and a large group of people joined him up front on the raised area.

“I have a very important announcement.  For weeks now I have been meeting with the leaders of another settlement.  I know you all recognize these prominent pillars of our community. These people here have been aware of  this planned alliance for a while now.  Tonight it’s time to tell you all.  We are going to join forces with this other community.  It will be of great advantage to us, and to them as well, I hope.  We will trade, exchange knowledge and information and gain strength against any threat that may befall either of our communities.  United, we will grow, prosper and be safe.”

There was a buzz from the crowd and when Mr. Harrison held up his hands again, they fell silent.

“I’m going to bring out the leaders now so you can meet them.”

All eyes turned in the direction Mr. Harrison indicated with a sweep of his arm and when the four Wraeththu appeared, there were gasps and exclamations of surprise.  I quickly looked around and was relieved to see the majority of people smiling and looking pleasantly impressed and excited, my family and Liz’s included.

“This is Andren, Skyy, Cayenne and Terra.  And yes, they are Wraeththu.”

Another murmur rose and spread through the crowd.

“They came out here into the wilderness for the same reason we did, to escape the violence.  They were here three years before we started building and they kept themselves hidden so as not to frighten us or drive us away.  They are a peaceful community just as we are and together, we will have much less to fear and much more to gain.”

Suddenly one man stood up.  Everyone got quiet.

“How do we know we can trust them?” he asked.

“I and these responsible community members have been meeting with them for many weeks and have gotten to know them well.  We trust them completely.  They’ve already proven they mean us no harm, by leaving us in peace for these past years we’ve been here.  They want the same things we do, peace and prosperity for both our communities.”

The man sat down but I wasn’t sure he’d been convinced.  I guessed some people are slower to trust than others.

“The Wraeththu are going to leave now but they will return tomorrow for another meeting here at one o‘clock.  You’ll have a chance to meet and talk with them informally then.”

The hara bowed politely and left.  Mr. Harrison officially closed the weekly meeting and everyone stayed speaking animatedly with each other.  I left my seat and decided to walk around and hear for myself what the people were saying.  As I stood up, I noticed the man who’d asked the question and about 20 others leaving, looking rather indignant, their wives and children slinking off behind, obviously embarrassed.  

I sighed.  Can’t win them all over, I guess.  Actually it was a very small group that was unhappy about the alliance.  I figured they’d either get used to the idea or move away.

Everyone else, it seemed was very excited about the prospect of meeting and joining with the Wraeththu.  I overheard a woman speaking with one of the women who had been up front with Mr. Harrison.

“I’d like to get a luncheon organized for tomorrow’s meeting.” she paused and then said, “They do eat, don’t they?”

I snickered to myself.


                                              ~~~>>>>***<<<<~~~


The next morning I awoke to the smell of a cake baking.  My mother had volunteered to make one for the luncheon meeting.  All through breakfast, we talked about the alliance and the Wraeththu.  I caught Beck staring suspiciously at me several times out of the corner of my eye.  Did she know somehow that I had something to do with it all?  That seemed impossible, but she was so intuitive.  I thought to myself that it was probably a good thing after all that she couldn’t become har.  I’d surely have no secrets then!

“What are you smirking about?” she asked, closing one eye menacingly at me.

I chuckled and shrugged.  “Nothing!  You’re paranoid,” I said.  She shook her head.

We all hung around the house until it was time to go to the meeting.  I tried to hide how utterly ecstatic I was.  I didn’t want to reveal my secret until the right time.  When we got to the meeting house, my mom went over to deliver her cake to the luncheon table and talk with the other women.  Josh and Liz came over with their parents and we all sat together like the day before.  Finally Mr. Harrison stood up front with several others from our community and spoke after getting our attention.  As he was speaking the same four hara joined the people up front.

“Just a short message before we get started on all this delicious looking food,” he said.  “The hara are here to meet and greet with you all.  Feel free to approach them, get to know them and ask questions.”

He hesitated for a moment.  “And now I also want to acknowledge someone who was instrumental in getting the talks started.  He was the first person from our community to make contact with the Wraeththu.”  Mr. Harrison looked right at me.
“Tom, come up here, please.”  

I was so shocked I could hardly get to my feet.  My parents and sister looked like they’d have to pick their jaws up off the floor.  Liz beamed at me and motioned me to go up.  I managed somehow and the next thing I knew, I was up front with Mr. Harrison, listening to the applause.  I looked over at the hara who were smiling at me.  Andren gave me a wink.

Then something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.  I looked toward the side door and there was a group of men with guns coming quickly into the building. I heard shots and suddenly everything seemed to be in slow motion.  I heard screams and saw people running and diving to the floor.  Then everything went black.


                                                                                  ~~~~**> to be continued <**~~~~

Just a quick apology for my story taking up so much space.  I thought I put it under a cut and can't figure out what's wrong.  There are only 2 more posts but I'll try to get some help!

                                                      
The next day, I decided to go fishing alone and try to think.  As I was on my way to the river, a thought occurred to me.  I could walk past Mr. Harrison’s house to get to the river.  If anyone saw me, I was just a kid going fishing, but maybe I’d see Mr. Harrison walking alone or sitting in his yard or something.  Then I’d have an opportunity to speak with him with no one else around.  But what on earth would I say?  I’d have to work on that before putting my plan - lame though it might be - into action.

That day, I didn’t go to my usual spot where I could see the hara.  I couldn’t bear to see Cirrus just across the river, yet worlds away from me.  I couldn’t do it - not today.  I went to a new place and was somewhat heartened by the fact that I caught two large catfish.

I brought them home and we had a really nice dinner.  My family all seemed happy.  Beck had Josh, Mom and Dad felt safe and like Beck and I had adjusted to living here.  I figured I was the only one not satisfied.  Oh, I was happy for all my loved ones and I had the friendship of Liz and the wonderful nights we spent with Josh and Beck getting high and all, but there was still an emptiness in me that only becoming har could fill.  I tried not to show it, but later when Beck and I went to Josh’s, she questioned me.

“What’s wrong, Tom?”  She looked at me with genuine sympathy.

“Nothing, really.  I guess maybe it’s hormones or something.  I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” I said smiling at her, taking her hand.  “I’m sure.”

She smiled back and seemed satisfied with my answer.

We spent another lovely night under the stars getting high.  When Josh and Beck left to be alone, as usual, Liz seemed to be scrutinizing me.

“Tom?  Are you okay?”  

Everyone seemed to be asking me that. I nodded.  I knew she realized I was unhappy.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.  You know you can trust me, right?”

“Yeah, I know.  It’s just…” I heaved a sigh.  I looked into her eyes.  “You know I’m in love with someone I can’t be with until…I don’t even know when.  It’s just hard, that’s all.”

She hugged me.  “Oh, Tom.  I wish I could help you.”

“You do. By being my friend and understanding.”

“I wish I could do more.”

I looked at her and smiled.  “So do I.”

We laughed and then decided to change the subject.

Later, as I lay alone in bed I realized the only person who could help me was me.  I had to speak to Mr. Harrison and get things started.  As far as I could see that was my only hope.  Needless to say, I had a bit of trouble falling asleep that night.


                                                   ***~~~***


I kept walking past Mr. Harrison’s house every day to get to the river.  I was just about to give up on my plan when as I approached his house one sunny afternoon, he was there alone, mending his fence.  I stopped in my tracks.

There he was, all by himself in his yard with no one else around!  This was my chance!  But what would I say?

Suddenly, Andren’s words came back to me.  I knew what I would say.  I approached him with at least a modicum of confidence, and also a heavy dose of trepidation.  I swallowed hard and thinking of Cirrus, became determined.  He looked over at me, and much to my relief, gave me a broad, welcoming smile.

“Well, hello,” he said, grinning.  “I’ve seen you passing by here a few times with your fishing pole.  Have you had any luck?”

“Uh, yeah.  I’ve caught some good sized catfish not far from here.”

“Well, good for you!”

He walked over closer to me.  “What’s your name, young man?”

“Tom.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Not long - a month or two.”

“Well, nice to meet you.  I’m Harry Harrison.  People call me Sarge.”  He offered his hand.  I took it.

“Nice to meet you,” I said.

“Same here.”

I began to sweat and feel at a loss for words, but I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes.

“Something on your mind, son?” he asked.

I nodded.

“I need to speak to you alone.”

He looked around and said, “Well, now’s the time.  There’s no one around.”  He smiled at me.

“I have something important to tell you.  I know I’m just a kid but…”  I rubbed my hands over my face.

Mr. Harrison seemed concerned.  “Hey, it’s alright,” he said, reassuringly.  “Let’s sit down on the porch--”

“No!  I…I mean I’d feel more comfortable if we just sat here on the grass.”

“Okay.  Whatever you say.”

We sat there on the grass and everything I wanted to say came flowing out.  I wondered if Andren was controlling my voice because it came so easily and so correctly.  After I was finished, Mr. Harrison sat, seeming to be deeply pondering.  Finally he looked up and into my eyes.

“This is wonderful!  Another community way out here that we had no knowledge of.  To pool our resources, our numbers - to trade and unite ourselves.”  He shook his head.  “How did they conceal themselves?”

I shrugged.

“Well, no matter.  They want to join forces and I can’t think of a better idea.”

Suddenly a thought shot into my head.

“You can’t tell anyone else about this - not until after you meet with their leader, okay?”

He nodded.  “Yes.  Yes, very wise.  I agree.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Where shall we meet?”

“I have to go back to their leader and tell him you’re willing to speak with him.  He told me he’d then name a meeting place.  I’m to come back to you and tell you where it is.  I’ll go see him tomorrow then come by here the next day. I’ll walk back past here to go fishing.  We can talk then.  Is all this okay with you?”

“Yes, it sounds fine.  I’ve got a lot more fence mending to do, so I’ll be outside, looking for you.”

I got up to leave.  

“Okay, see you then,” I said.

I decided to go on to my new fishing place, hoping to have something to show for my afternoon.  As I sat hoping for a bite, I smiled to myself and began to get excited about Andren and Mr. Harrison getting together.  But what I was really happiest about was that I’d get to see Cirrus again.

As luck would have it, I caught a large trout.  I hoped it was a good omen.


                                                         ~*~*~*~


The next day as I was getting ready to leave to go fishing, and more importantly meet with Andren, I found myself giddy with good spirits.  Today would be the first step to uniting our communities and I’d be one step closer to being har and being with Cirrus.  I whistled as I put on my shoes.

“Well, your mood seems to have lightened,” my Mom said as she looked over at me from the kitchen.  “Is it because of this Friday?”

I regarded her, puzzled.  This Friday? What was this Friday?

“What do you want for your birthday dinner?”

My birthday!  I’d completely forgotten!

“Oh, uh, anything’s fine.”

“No!  You have to pick, remember?”

“Yeah, ummm…fried chicken.”

“And--?

“Uh, uh…mashed potatoes and green beans.”

“Okay.  I’ll bake you a cake, too.”

As I stood up, she walked over to me and gave me a hug.

“I can’t believe you’ll be fifteen.”  She pulled back and looked into my eyes.

“I’m sorry there won’t be any real gifts this time.  It’s just that way out here--”

“It’s okay, really.  I don’t need anything.  I’m happy.”

“Going fishing again?”

“Yeah.  I like it and there’s really not much else to do.  See you later, Mom.”

Once outside, I couldn’t wait to go across the river and speak with Andren and be with Cirrus.  I wanted to run the whole way but I had to control myself.

Once I got to the invisible barrier I knew I’d be sensed.  Andren came through to get me.

He took me into an embrace.

“Tom, I’m glad to see you.  Do you have news?”

“Yes! Good news!”

“Wonderful!”

I took his hand and went through the barrier.  As we headed for his and Brinn’s tent, I craned my neck, looking all around for Cirrus.  I hoped he’d be at Andren’s.  When we walked in and sat down to talk, I was disappointed that Cirrus wasn’t there but I put my mind to the task at hand.

I told Andren all about my meeting with Mr. Harrison: how he thought it was wonderful that there was another community out here, how he was looking forward to meeting with their leader and how he was going to keep it a secret.

Andren listened with great interest.  He then decided on a meeting place.

“Bring him down the river on your side, past where we go swimming and walk until you get to an area that looks like a beach.  To the right you’ll see a grove of pine trees.  I’ll meet him in the center of the grove of trees.”

“Okay.  When?”

“Day after tomorrow, just after noon.  I’ll be waiting. If that doesn’t suit him come back and tell me, otherwise I’ll see you there.”

I nodded.  Just then someone parted the tent flaps and my heart fluttered.  It was Brinn and I guess I didn’t hide my disappointment.

Andren smiled at me.  “I think Cirrus is swimming by the rocks.”

I’m sure my face lit up.

“Go on, Tom.  I’ll see you day after tomorrow.”

“Okay, thanks,” I said hurrying off to find Cirrus.

When I got to the path to the rocks, I heard voices.  I guessed several hara were swimming and sunning.  When the hara came into view I could see that there were only two of them in the water.  One was Cirrus and the other one was a dark-haired har I’d never seen before.  They were splashing each other, laughing and playing in the river.  I backed off where they couldn’t see me.  They’d both go under, then come up laughing.  They raced across the river and back.  When they returned to this side, they stopped to catch their breath and were talking quietly to each other.  I couldn’t watch any more.

I walked behind some bushes and sat on a rock, my head in my hands, thinking.  What did I expect?  I certainly didn’t think Cirrus would live like a monk until I decided to become har.  Of course he’d be with other hara.  It was just difficult for me to actually see it.  I guessed he’d been so busy with the dark-haired har, he hadn’t even sensed my presence.  I’d decided to go home when I looked up to see Cirrus coming toward me.  The dark-haired har went on down the path.

“Tom!  I didn’t sense you until a few moments ago.  What are you doing sitting here?”

“I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Cirrus knelt in front of me and put his chin on my knee, taking my hand in his.

“I was just having a swim with Lienn--”

“You don’t owe me any explanation.  It’s okay.  I don’t expect you to…I mean, it’s just…  Oh God!”  I covered my face with my hands.  “I’m sorry, Cirrus.  I’m sorry.”

He sat next to me and put his arm around me.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, really.”  He gently turned my face to his with his slender pale fingers.  “Look, we both know that hara need aruna.  I have some roon friends but I’m not in love with any of them.  We just take aruna.  Hara do that.  It doesn’t mean anything serious.  I like Lienn. That’s all.  The harish body needs aruna.  My roon friends and I share our bodies and our friendship.”  Then he leaned close and whispered in my ear, “But you have my heart.”

I turned and hugged him, burying my face in his chest.  He kissed the top of my head.

“Now, tell me about this meeting you’ve helped to arrange.”

After I told him the whole story, we took a walk by a stream and sat under an ancient tree.  Cirrus lay back on the grass and I lay with my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart: the heart he said belonged to me. Heaving a sigh of both contentment and yearning, I looked up into the fluttering leaves.

“How old do you think this tree is?”  I asked.

“Probably at least a couple hundred years old, I’d say.  Did you know that hara are estimated to live between one and two hundred years?”

“For real?!”

“Yes.”

“Wow!  How old are you?”

He chuckled.  “Well, I’ve been har for about seven years and I was seventeen when I was incepted, so…twenty-four, I guess.  I bet you’re about thirteen or fourteen.  Am I right?”

I nodded.  “Fourteen but my fifteenth birthday is three days away.”

“Really!”  

Cirrus seemed to be thinking for a moment.

“Do you think you can get away that day and come see me?”

I’m sure I was grinning from ear to ear.

“Sure!  I’ll find a way.  It will have to be before dinner.  That’s when my family will celebrate my birthday.”

“Good.”

“Why do you want to see me that day in particular?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

I lay back down on his chest, smiling in anticipation.  I wanted time to stand still but inevitably the sun moved below the top of the mountains and I knew I had to leave.  I sat up and heaved a sigh.

“I guess I’d better go.”

Cirrus sat up and feathered his fingers in my hair.

“Alright my lovely ginger, if you must.”

We stood up and he pulled me to him, and looking into my eyes he kissed me chastely.  Then we headed for the place I’d go through the barrier, his hand in mine.  After we’d passed through, we stood for a few moments looking into each other’s eyes.  I studied his face, wanting to burn it into my memory, even though it was already there.  He was so beautiful:  his aquamarine eyes, pale skin and white-gold shoulder length hair.  I thought he was the fairest creature I’d ever laid eyes on.  How could I bear to be away from him?

He must have read my thoughts.

“Someday, Tom, we’ll be together.”

He took my face in his hands and kissed and breathed into me.  I didn’t see anything but I felt peace and love permeate my being as our tongues touched and I breathed in all he was giving me.  Afterwards, I stood somewhat dazed.

“See you soon,” he said softly as he turned and disappeared into the barrier.

I couldn’t move for a few moments or take my eyes off the empty space where he’d just been.  I yearned to be with him but the peace he’d given me gave me strength enough to turn and go home.


                                                                *~*~*~*


The next day I was a bit nervous and couldn’t wait to go fishing so I could go by Mr. Harrison’s and tell him about the meeting place.  I knew he wanted to go but I was still so afraid something would mess everything up.  It was so important to me.

When I got to his place, he was there like he’d said he’d be, mending his fence.  I told him all about the meeting and he asked me to get to his place about 11:30 and that he’d be waiting for me.  All that day I was full of hope and anticipation.

That evening when Beck and I went to hang out with Josh and Liz, I decided to tell Liz all about it.


“They‘re really going to meet!” she said excitedly.  “You’ve got to tell me what happens.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be invited to the actual meeting but I’m sure Andren will let me know the details.”

We spent the rest of the evening getting high and having a good time.  I really needed to relax.

I had some trouble sleeping, but finally drifted off.


                                                        ~*~*~*~*~

The day of the destined meeting I went about business as usual, eating breakfast and doing my chores, trying to look like there was nothing special about the day or my plans.  I told everyone I was going fishing and breathed a sigh of relief as my house faded from view behind me.  When I got to Mr. Harrison’s yard, he was there waiting for me and we set off toward the meeting place together.

“I really have high hopes for this talk today,” Mr. Harrison said with a smile.  “Joining forces with another community can mean a lot of good things for us.”

I smiled back, hoping he’d feel the same way once he realized he’d be meeting with a Wraeththu leader!  Suddenly I began to sweat and get scared.  What if he got angry and refused to talk with Andren?  What if he felt tricked and got mad at Andren and me for our ‘deception’?

“Tom?  Are you alright?”

I looked at him, trying to appear calm.  “Yeah.  Sure, I’m okay.”

We soon approached the sandy area and as we walked toward the pine grove I said, “Here we are.  He wants to meet in that grove of trees.”

Mr. Harrison looked around expectantly.  Suddenly Andren stepped out of the pines.  Mr. Harrison stared at him for a moment, then turned to me, an expression of total surprise and a bit of confusion on his face.  I froze and held my breath.  Mr. Harrison then turned and walked toward Andren, who smiled serenely and held out his hand in welcome.  Mr. Harrison took it and I was able to breathe again.

“Why don’t you wait over by the water, Tom,” Andren said.

I nodded like an android and walked numbly over to the river and sat on a rock.  I felt faint, but slowly I stopped trembling and started to relax.  Mr. Harrison didn’t walk away.  He didn’t get angry.  He was speaking with Andren right now!  I began to get hopeful.

Quite a bit of time passed until I heard footsteps behind me.  I turned to see Mr. Harrison.  I looked for Andren but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Well, Tom, I’m ready to go.”

I got up feeling apprehensive and we walked silently for a while.  All kinds of things were racing through my mind.  Mr. Harrison smiled over at me.

“That was quite a little secret you kept from me.”

“I…I’m sorry.  We… Andren thought--”

He chuckled, much to my relief.  “It’s okay, Tom.  But why didn’t you tell me I’d be meeting with a Wraeththu?”

“Would you have met with him if you’d known?”

“We’ll never know, will we?” he said.

Later when we got to Mr. Harrison’s yard, he said, “I’m glad Andren and I talked.  I always suspected they couldn’t all be bad.  His people want the same things we want and there would be a lot of advantages to joining forces with such powerful beings.  We’re going to meet again in two days.”

“Really?!”  I blurted.  “That’s great!”

“We’ll meet at the same place and time.  I won’t need you to come with me but I promise to keep you informed.  And this is to be kept in strictest confidence, at least for now.”

“Yes.  Yes, I agree completely!  And thanks!  Thanks, Mr. Harrison!”

He chuckled.  “See you, Tom.”

I could hardly contain my excitement.  If things went well that meant our people would unite and I could be with Cirrus and become har and…I had to get hold of myself.  This could still take a while and no matter how long it took, it would seem like forever to me. But it was a start.

                                                                    <***~ to be continued ~***>( Read more...Collapse )


                          

                                                      
The next day at breakfast, Beck still had the warm glow and secret smile she’d had the night before.  When our parents weren’t listening I asked, “Are you going to tell Mom and Dad about you and Josh?”

She looked around and then answered, “I’m not sure.  I think they’ll be happy on one level, but I’m afraid they’ll think we’re too young and be apprehensive about it.  What do you think, Tom?”

I shook my head.  “I’m not sure.  I know they like Josh.  I’d just feel them out and take it slow.”

Beck nodded, giving me a smile.  Then our parents came back to the table.

“What are you kids going to do today?” our Mom asked.

“I’m going to Josh’s,” Beck said.

“Liz is going fishing with me,” I offered.

“Good!” my Dad said.  “I hope you catch something good for dinner.”

“I’ll try my best,” I said with a smile.

With our plans in place for the day, I hoped it would afford me some time alone with Liz to confide my deepest secret to her.  I really needed to tell her everything and this seemed the perfect opportunity to do so.

After lunch, Beck and I headed for Josh and Liz’s house.  Beck stayed there with Josh and Liz and I walked to the river to fish, but more importantly, to talk.  I led us farther down the riverbank than usual, wanting to be far enough away that no one would bother us.  We sat on a sandy part of the shore and I cast my line into the river.  We sat in silence for a while and I knew Liz was waiting for me to speak, as she looked at me intermittently as I stared across the river.  Finally, I knew it was time to let her in on my deepest, most private and treasured secret.  I wedged my fishing pole between some rocks and turned my full attention to Liz, who waited expectantly.  I took a deep breath.

“What I’m going to tell you has to be in the most complete confidence.  I have to trust someone and I want it to be you.  I believe I can trust you completely not to tell a soul what I’m gong to reveal to you.”

She looked earnestly into my eyes.  “You can trust me, Tom.  You can, I promise you.”

I looked away, my heart racing, still wondering if I was doing the right thing.  Then determinedly, I looked back into her eyes and saw that I wasn’t misplacing my trust.  I relaxed a bit and began my tale.

“You know I’ve been coming to the river to see the angels ever since my first glimpse of them.”

She nodded.

“Well, not too long ago one of them came to our side of the river to fish and spoke to me.”

She covered her mouth with her hands, looking amazed.  “One of them spoke to you?  An angel?” she asked, astonished.

I nodded.  “But there’s more - a lot more.  I thought they were angels, too, but they’re not.  They’re…they’re…” I was afraid to say it.  “They’re Wraeththu.”

She stared at me, wide-eyed.  “Wraeththu?”  she whispered, unbelieving.

I nodded in affirmation.  “Yes.  They also call themselves ‘hara’ and they came here to escape the violence that has broken out in the world the same as our people have.  Andren told me that they aren’t all violent, just as all humans aren’t violent.  They were here three years before we came here.  They concealed themselves because they knew our people would be afraid of them.”

“Andren?”  she asked, somewhat confused.

“Yeah, that was the name of the har who spoke to me.”

“How did they conceal themselves from us?”

“They have psychic powers, way beyond what any human could imagine.  But these Wraeththu are peaceful and even think that maybe our communities could knowingly coexist in harmony with each other.”

Liz looked across the river and was silent for a time.  Finally, she looked back at me, blinking, her expression one of awe.

“Oh, my God,” she said reverently and with a smile.  “This is monumental.  That we could interact…be allies…have a relationship with such beautiful beings…it’s …astonishing, mind boggling…immense!”  She looked to me with excitement.

I couldn’t help myself.  I grabbed her into a hug and said, “I knew I could tell you.  I knew you’d understand.”

We held each other a few moments and then let each other go.

Liz looked down at the ground, her cheeks flushed, then she looked back into my eyes.  

“I do understand and I’m so, so happy you trust me enough to confide something like this to me.”

“I felt I had to tell someone and Andren told me I should find a confidant.  I knew it had to be you.”

“I’m honored, Tom but, I have to ask. Why me instead of Beck?  I know you two are close.”

I heaved a sigh and looked out over the water.

“There’s much more I need to tell you.  There are things I feel I need to keep secret from my parents and I was afraid Beck would feel compelled to tell them.  I trust that you won’t do that.  Am I right?”

I looked back at her.  “If you can’t promise that, I’ll understand and keep the rest to myself for now.”

She hesitated for just a moment and then answered, “I can promise that, Tom, really.  I can and I do.”

I smiled, relieved, totally believing and trusting in her.

I launched into completely baring my soul about everything: how Andren invited me to the other side of the river, the beauty of their settlement, how they hunt, how they protect themselves, how they’d like to have a peaceful relationship with us.  Liz listened in stunned awe as I told her all about the beautiful beings.  Then I had to tell her some things that were very personal.  I wasn’t sure if I should.  But, ultimately, these very private things were what I most needed to confide in someone.  I’m sure my face turned red.  I could feel the heat in my skin.

“Wow,” Liz said, softly.  “This is all so…”  She shook her head.

“Yeah, I know, but…”

“There’s something more personal, more intimate, isn’t there?”

I nodded.  She could read me almost as accurately as Beck could.  I surmised from that that I was pretty much an open book.

“Andren told me that our people would be afraid that they would kidnap our young men and boys and turn them into what they were.  That’s what people have come to believe and, unfortunately, that has happened before.  He then assured me that his hara would never do that, that our males would be free to decide whether they want to become one of them or not.”  Here, I hesitated, not sure what to say next.  Liz spoke quietly.

“You mean, you could become one of them if you wanted to?”

I nodded.

“And you do want to, don’t you?”

I covered my face with my hands, holding back tears and nodded.”

Liz put a comforting arm around me as we sat wordlessly while I tried to stop tears from rolling down my cheeks.

She pulled back and looked into my eyes, her own sparkling with unshed tears.

“I don’t know what to say except that my intuition tells me that you have to follow your heart on this.  If you truly believe it’s your destiny to become one of them, then you have to.”

She hugged me closer, I believe knowing that if I did as my heart told me, my family would be anguished and distressed.

She smiled and whispered to me, “Could I become one of them?”

I shook my head.  “I was pretty devastated to find out that no female can become Wraeththu.  It’s been attempted and every girl has died.  Only males between the age of maybe thirteen and about twenty-five can withstand the change.  I asked Andren about females becoming Wraeththu and that’s what he told me.  I’m sorry.”

She sighed, resignedly.

“There’s so much more I want to tell you, but I feel so drained, like I can’t think any more.”

“It’s okay,” she said.  “We’ll talk again.  Let’s get our feet wet, collect ourselves and then go back,” Liz said gently, running her hands through my hair.  I felt like the luckiest guy in the world to have her friendship.

When we got back to my house, I said goodbye to Liz, promising to come over later, with Beck, after dinner.

All through dinner, I just wanted to think.  I knew I was being more quiet than usual and didn’t want anyone to suspect anything, so I got myself together and joined in the conversation.  After dinner, Beck and I left and walked to Josh and Liz’s.

“You were a bit quiet at first tonight at dinner,” Beck said.  “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah.  Everything’s fine.  Sorry if I seemed preoccupied.”

She eyed me for a moment but we’d reached Josh’s house and he and Liz were waiting for us on their porch, so Beck’s concern turned to joy as she ran to Josh’s arms.  We headed for the river, as usual, and since it was a very warm night, we sat close to the water and dangled our feet in, cooling off.  We smoked Josh’s homegrown pot as usual and enjoyed the balmy night, the mellow feeling and each other’s company.

Then as always, Josh and Beck left to be alone, leaving Liz and I on the river’s shore.  I looked over at her and she smiled at me knowingly.  I figured the time had come for me to reveal the most intimate part of my secrets.  I took a deep breath and looked into her waiting eyes.

“I think it’s time I told you some things. Some very personal things.”

She put her hand on mine, wordlessly.

“I know I can trust you.”

She nodded.

“I…I’ve never felt attracted to any person before, but I find that--”  I stopped, feeling a little embarrassed to go on.  She squeezed my hand, encouraging me.

“One of them took me swimming and I found that I…”

“You don’t have to say any more,” she said gently.  “I understand.  You like one of them, more than just as a novelty or…”  She sighed and looked into my eyes.  “Don’t be embarrassed.  They’re gorgeous.  I’m attracted to them, too.  But for you, it’s real.  You can join them.  You have the opportunity to do more than just admire them from afar.  And maybe you’ll find true love on the other side of the river,” she said, grinning.  I had to chuckle.

“Well, I don’t know about that but I know I have to join them.  It’s like some irresistible pull, some calling I can’t ignore.”  I put my face in my hands and rubbed my eyes.

She put her arm around me.  “Don’t worry.  I know that’s easy for me to say, but truthfully, I’ll help you in any way I can.  I’ll even lie and cover for you if it will help.”

I looked gratefully into her eyes.  “I hope you know how much being able to confide in you and trust you means to me.”

She smiled.  “Let’s get ripped.”

I laughed, relieved and we smoked until Josh and Beck returned.


                                                                     *~*~*~*


We kept up our usual routine of doing our chores, being with our families and spending the evenings together getting high and enjoying each other’s company.  But after four or five days, I began to feel the pull, the need to be with the hara across the river.  This time I decided to go alone.  I had something I needed to talk to Andren about.

I crossed the river as always and headed for the rocks, turning and following the path to their settlement.  I couldn’t see it but assumed somehar would sense my prescence and appear to me.  After several moments, I saw a rift in the air and to my surprise and delight, Cirrus walked toward me.  My heart leapt.

“The border guard told me it was you and I wanted to come and meet you.”

“I’m glad you did.”

He took my hand and led us into the camouflaged settlement.  I felt a prickle, like a static shock when we passed through the barrier.  It didn’t seem to have affected Cirrus.  He looked at me.

“You’ve come to talk to Andren, haven’t you?”

I nodded, knowing full well how he knew that.

“It’s about--”

“You don’t have to tell me,” he interrupted.

I was about to protest, to tell him I held no secrets from him when we arrived at Andren and Brinn’s.

“Andren’s been informed of your arrival.  Go ahead.”  He smiled.

“After I talk to him can I…can we, I mean…”

“Yes,” he said with a lovely smile.  “We can talk.  See you later.”  

I sighed as he walked away.  Then I purposefully entered Andren’s tent.

He walked toward me, smiling.  “Well, hello Tom.  I’m happy to see you again.”  He took both my hands and I blushed profusely.

“Come.  Sit down and have some wine.”

I followed him to a small table and sat across from him.  He took a bottle and filled two glasses.

“I’m glad you’ve come,” he said as he settled back into his chair.  A few moments passed while we drank.

“Obviously there’s something on your mind, Tom,” he said, gently.

I nodded.  “Yes, yes there is.”

I looked into his eyes.  “I really want our two cultures to have a friendly relationship.  I know you know that, but I’ve come to hear what exactly we could do to that end.  I mean, I know not all of you agree on this, but is there some way you could meet with some of us or something?  We have to start somewhere.  If your people are still against it, I understand and I’ll just go home and wait, but…”  I covered my face with my hands.

Andren moved closer and put his arm around me.  “I agree with you, Tom.  The time has come to start the communication between our races and settlements.  There are so many advantages to both our cultures to do so.  The vast majority of us agree with this thinking.  There are only a few of us who still resist the idea.  I tried to tell them that if our meeting doesn’t work out, we can still hide ourselves.  We can still go back to the way we are now.  That convinced almost all of our hara that this was worth a try.”

I looked hopefully at him.

“I have a proposition for you,” he stated.

I regarded him, guarded enthusiasm consuming my being.

“Do your people have a leader?  Someone who orchestrates activities, leads meetings, organizes things?  Someone others come to for guidance and such?”

I thought a moment.  Then came the answer.

“Yeah!  Mr. Harrison!  He designed the place.  He leads the meetings the men go to and the ones we all attend.  He controls the guns and ammo and stuff like that.  They call him ‘Sarge’ because he served in the military.  He seems like a decent, down to earth guy.”

“Hmmm,” Andren said, seeming deep in thought.  He looked up at me, purpose in his eyes.  I got a little intimidated.

“I mean, I don’t know him at all but he’s not a religious fanatic or anything like that.  Even our preacher isn’t a jerk like the one we had in the city.  Maybe…”

“If you’re up to the challenge, I’d like you to arrange a meeting between this ‘Mr. Harrison’ and myself.  I’ll have to count on you to approach him clandestinely and speak to him.  I’d like you to say that there’s another community close by that is interested in joining forces with his.  That we want to trade, protect each other and work together for the good of both our settlements.  Just leave out the part that we’re Wraeththu.  He’ll find that out when we meet.  He and I will take it from there.  Can you do that?”

I just stared at him, overwhelmed.  How could I?  I’d never even met the man face to face.  Then I realized no one else could do this.  It had to be me. I had to find a way.  The futures of both our settlements depended on it - my personal future depended on it.  Without having a clue as to how I could make this meeting come about, I answered.

“Yes.  I’ll do it.  I’ll find a way.”

Andren smiled.  “I believe you will, Tom.  There’s no hurry.  Think it over.  When you’ve told him what we discussed, come back here and I’ll choose a meeting place.  Then you’ll go back and tell him where it is and when to be there.  If he agrees, come back and tell me and things will get under way, okay?”

I nodded my agreement, my mind reeling from all I’d been told and all I was assigned to do.  It really was all up to me--me, a complete and utter nobody!  How was I going to meet with Mr Harrison without anyone else knowing?  Maybe the fact that I was just a kid could help me.  I, at least, knew where he lived and he seemed to be a friendly sort.  A million thoughts swirled in my mind.

“Tom?  Are you alright?”

“Yeah.  Yeah, sure.  It’s just a lot to think about.”

Andren patted me on the back.  “Someone’s waiting outside for you,” he said softly into my ear with a smile.

I nodded and left his tent.  There I found Cirrus, a beautiful smile on his lovely face.  It seemed almost unreal that the smile he wore so graciously was for me.  God, he was gorgeous!

“Come on, ginger boy.  Take a walk with me.”

He offered his hand and I took it.  I felt butterflies in my stomach as my heart beat faster.  We walked to a rock ledge and sat down crossed-legged next to each other, our joined hands on my knee.  I wanted him to take me into his arms and show me the meaning of pleasure.  How ridiculous!  I knew we could never do much of anything unless I became har.  He must have sensed my frustration.  He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it, causing me to look into his eyes.

“Tom, I don’t mean to make you feel bad by being close to you.  It’s the same for me.  I want you.  I want to be with you and I know it’s impossible unless you become Wraeththu.”

I grabbed him into an embrace.

“God!  I feel the same way.  But how? What can I--?”

Then the tears came.

“Shh, shhh, don’t cry.  It will happen.  I know it.  It just has to.”

He pulled back and looked into my eyes. Wiping my tears away he said, “I’ll wait as long as I have to.  I know you’ll be Wraeththu.  I’m sure it will happen.  I’m in no hurry.  I’ll wait for you, my crimson-haired beauty.  I’ll wait for you,” he said as he drew me to him.  I clasped him as if my life depended on it because I was beginning to believe that it did.

We stayed there for a while holding each other.  I knew it wasn’t enough but it was all we had for who knew how long.  How was I going to stand it?  I’d never wanted anyone before.  Now I couldn’t bear to be away from Cirrus, yet being with him only made the torture of not really being with him that much more acute.  What was to become of us?


“Tom,” Cirrus said.  “I know Andren wants us to unite our two communities.  When that happens, you’ll be free to become one of us.  I don’t want you to betray any of your human bonds, but even if this plan doesn’t work out, promise me you’ll try to think of a way you can become har.  I think about you all the time. I…”

“Oh, God,” I breathed.  “Me, too. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t return home tonight.  I’d stay here and become one of you.  But…”

“I know.  I understand.  Let’s hope it works out for all our good.”

I nodded into his chest, holding back my tears.

When I finally had to return home, it was very hard to say goodbye to Cirrus.  I concluded that I was in love with him even though we were different species and couldn’t be together until I became one of them and there was no way to tell how long that would be.  I took consolation in the fact that he returned my feelings, but what could we do about it?  I began to feel like we were hopeless star-crossed lovers, only we hadn’t even had the luxury of being lovers yet!

We hugged goodbye after we’d passed through the invisible barrier and he kissed me.  I saw smoky images as our tongues touched and he breathed into me but I knew I could only really connect with him if I was har.  It was lovely and I looked so forward to our really being able to be together - to be as one - someday...

He waved just before he disappeared through the barrier and an all-encompassing lonliness permeated my being and wrenched my heart.

Turning away, I heaved a sigh and made my way back to our compound.  On the way I tried to formulate some sort of plan to meet Mr. Harrison secretly.  But how?  I racked my brain until I got to the other side of the river and then decided to put my thoughts on hold as I headed home for dinner.
                 
                                                                          ~~*~ to be continued ~*~~( Read more...Collapse )

                                                      

The next few days, everything went along as usual.  I was dying to go to the rocks and meet Andren, but I felt like I had to wait, like I had to pretend nothing was out of the ordinary.  Even Beck couldn’t know that I was meeting Andren again.  Finally on the fourth day of my waiting, Beck said she and Josh were going horseback riding.  I said I’d see her later and without hesitation, headed for the ford in the river.  It was a little past noon and I hoped I wouldn’t be too late to meet Andren at the rocks.  I ran the whole way and when I got there, he was waiting, sunning himself on the rocks.  I was out of breath when I reached him.  He turned to me.

“Well, hello.”  He then looked concerned.  “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” I said a bit out of breath.  “I thought I might be too late to find you.  I had to wait for a good opportunity to get away.”

He rose and came toward me, smiling.  “I’m glad you made it.  Let’s rest here awhile and then I’ll show you our community.”

As we sat together on the rocks, I couldn’t help staring at him.  He looked over at me and smiled.

“I…I’m sorry,” I said.  “I don’t mean to stare, it’s just… I can’t help it.”

“It’s quite alright,” he said, grinning.  “I’m flattered.”

“Well, you should be.  You’re beautiful.  You’re all beautiful.  I can hardly believe it. I’m…I’m overwhelmed.”

Andren moved closer to me and picked up my hand in his.

“My beautiful boy, you’re meant to be har, I can sense it.  And whatever happens, it will come to pass.  Mark my words.”

He gave me a beautiful, encouraging smile and I felt peace enter my soul.  I closed my eyes and savored the moment.  We stayed that way for a time and then I heard Andren’s voice.

“Let me show you our commune.”

I nodded, eager to learn of their ways.

Andren led me through the trees and down a well-worn path for quite a few minutes.  Soon we entered a clearing and I stopped short.  There before me were many beautifully colored tents and some wooden dwellings.  There were cleared paths and exquisite flowers and plants decorating the many dwellings.  These weren’t regular tents, they were multi colored pavilions.  It was lavish and lovely.  It made our community of modular homes look primitive by comparison.  I’m sure I stared like a moron.  Andren spoke.

“I was going to ask you what you thought, but I see that you approve.  Am I right?”

“Approve?”  I looked at him, unbelieving.  “Hell, yeah, I approve!  This is…is…wonderful, like something out of a fantasy!  I don’t even know what to say.”

He laughed.  “Well, then.  I’ll take that as a compliment.  Come on, there’s more to show you.”

More?  How much more could there be?

Andren showed me more dwellings, their livestock, their gardens, their fruit and nut trees, their archery practice area and then he asked me back to the tent he shared with his lover, his chesnari.

It was a lovely tent pavilion with many rooms and he bade me to sit down at low table on some pillows while he prepared some refreshments.  He left the area and I looked all around me, taking in my surroundings.  This place was beautiful, like something out of a dream.  I could hardly believe it.  Soon, Andren returned.  He set some food and drinks on the low table and sat with me.

“Here,” he said.  “Please have some sustenance.”

He’d placed cheese, fruit and nuts on a platter and poured us each a glass of something.

I helped myself to the tasty fare and also availed myself of the wine.  I smiled widely at Andren.

“I’m guessing you’re not allowed to drink at your age.”

I shook my head, my mouth full.  “No, but my sister’s boyfriend has a crop of weed by the river.”  Then, I’m sure I went pale.  Oh, God, I told!

Andren laughed. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

“Thanks.  I swore I’d never tell a soul--”

“And you haven’t,” he said with a wink.

I breathed a sigh of relief.  I truly believed him.

After we’d shared some food and drink, I still had a few questions for him.

“Andren?” I ventured, tentatively.

“Yes,” he said with a friendly smile.

“You said that boys and young men can become har.  What about girls, females?”

He shook his head.  “Not possible.  It’s been tried and every female has died.  For some reason, it just can’t be.”

I was disappointed.  I could imagine Beck being an awesome har.  And I wanted her to be with me.  I was quiet.

“I know,” Andren said.  “You have a sister and you’re close to her, am I right?”

I nodded.

He sighed.  “I’m sorry.  It’s just the way things are.”

“I understand,” I replied, very disheartened.

He moved closer.  “You know, if our respective communities can come to an agreement and friendly relationship, there’s no reason you can’t see your sister and your family on a regular basis, even though you’re har and they’re human.  I believe this can be a reality, and so do many of us.”

I looked to him hopefully.  “Really?”

“Yes,” he said, putting an encouraging arm around me and looking into my eyes.  “Yes.”
I wanted to believe him, and looking into his intense, deep, blue-green eyes, I believed that I could.

“I want to show you something,” he said.  “I want to give you a taste of what it is to be har.”

I looked intently at him, not knowing what to expect, but feeling what was coming was something delectable.

“Will you let me kiss you?”

I couldn’t believe this was happening.  I nodded, feeling more excited and scared than I’d ever been in my life.

Andren took me into his arms, pressed his lips to mine, gently and I reciprocated, melting into his embrace.  He gently slid his tongue over mine as we kissed.  I was in another world.  He somehow breathed images into me.  They were murky, and nondescript but mesmerizing.  I totally surrendered to him, wanting whatever this was never to end.  He finally pulled away from me, leaving me breathless and weak.

I opened my eyes and looked into his, wondering what he’d done to me.

“When you’re har,” he said.  “That will be only the beginning.”

I looked into his amazing eyes, blinking and feeling overwhelmed.

“We call it sharing breath and it’s a kiss but more.  Being human, you can only see darkly, but if you become har, the images will be clear, colorful and beautiful.  And you’ll be able to send images, too.  It will come naturally.”

I was left speechless.  I shook my head.

“I know.  It’s all a bit much to process.”

A bit much?  It was overpowering, all encompassing.  It was almost like the dream I’d had.

“How…how will I stand it?”  It was all I could say.  Andren chuckled.

“When you’re har, it will be different.”

I just blinked, shaking my head as Andren smiled at me.

“Look, I know this is overwhelming to a human boy.  We’ve all been where you are in one way or another.  Even though we all come from different backgrounds and different points of view, in the end, those of us who were meant to be har answered the inner summons.  You will, too.  It may take some time because I know you have conflicts, but I think, eventually, when all is said and done, it will ultimately happen.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

He chuckled.  “Come on,” he said.  “I want to show you something.”

He led me up a long path until we got to high ground, then we came to a clearing and he pointed out in the direction of our commune.

“Do you see?” he said, smiling.  “You can see our two communities from here.  From this vantage point, it doesn’t look like we’re strangers to each other.”  He smiled, looking at the ground.  “I’ve been called an idealist, a dreamer and quite a few other things, but…”  He looked me in the eye.  “But I‘m not giving up on my hopes for a peaceful future.”

All I could do was smile at him wistfully.  Then a question entered my mind.

“How have you kept yourselves from being discovered?”

“Like I told you, we can sense anyone approaching then we can use our collective powers to shield ourselves.  We can place a protective net of power around our entire community.”

“You mean you can make yourselves invisible?”

He laughed.  “No.  It’s more like we make ourselves seem invisible to a human mind.  It’s hard to put into words.  We can also make our place appear like an impassible part of the forest so the would-be intruders go around it.”

“Wow!  Can all hara do that?”

“With training and practice, yes.”

I just shook my head.  

We sat there for a while, taking in the view and, I’m sure, daydreaming about the possibilities of our races getting along.  Before long Andren sighed and said, “Let’s go back.  We’ll be going to the river.  You can come along if you want.”

I nodded eagerly.

As we made our way to the rocks by the river, I still felt as if I was in a dream.  I’m actually walking with them, talking with them.  The creatures I thought I could only admire from afar and dream about.  It was surreal.

When we finally got there, the hara went about their usual business of eating, drinking, conversing and skinny-dipping.

Andren, Brinn, Cirrus and I all sat together.

“How about a swim?”  Cirrus suggested to me.

I stared at him wide-eyed.

“Uh…uh…well, I…”

What could I say?  They were all so magnificent and well endowed with something so far beyond what humans had.  I felt like an ugly duckling in the presence of breathtaking swans.

Cirrus put his hand on my knee.

“Don’t feel intimidated,” he said gently.  “We think you’re beautiful.”

“But I…I can’t show myself.  I…”

“If you’re modest, leave your pants on.  Come on!  Swim with me, ginger boy!”

I couldn’t resist the beckoning of Cirrus’s cerulean eyes.

I took my shirt and shoes off and he took my hand and led me to the river’s edge.  We waded in and began to swim.  I started to relax and enjoy myself.

“Come here!” Cirrus called.  “Keep your legs stiff and I’ll give you a boost.”

I did as he said and he ducked under and pushed off the bottom to thrust me up into the air.  The first time he took me by surprise and I belly flopped into the water, then I got the idea.  As he thrust me upwards, I dove back into the water.  It was so much fun!  We kept it up for quite some time, and then I got tired.

“Do you need a rest?”  he asked.

“Yeah, I guess I do.  But it was really fun!  Really!”

He swam over to me and said, “Grab onto my shoulders.”

I had no idea what was going on but I did as he’d suggested.  He swam up the river, me holding on to him.  Didn’t they ever get tired?  I thought to myself.

It was magical.  All I had to do was to hold on to him.  He swam quickly, strongly and smoothly through the water for quite a while.  I saw turtles sunning themselves on logs, muskrats swimming and playing together, dragonflies dipping and hovering over the water.  It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.  After a while, Cirrus swam over to the shore.  I didn’t know how far we’d gone from the rocks.  He helped me out onto the riverbank and we sat together.  I couldn’t help stealing glances at his naked body.  I decided to control myself and stare across the river.

“I hope you’re still considering becoming har,” he said, looking expectantly into my eyes.

For some reason, I felt my face grow hot, but then, looking away, I answered.

“Yes, I am.  I know it’s my destiny, but I’m not sure how or when it can be.”

“If it’s meant to be, and I’m sure it is, it will happen.”

I looked up and into his sky blue eyes.

“Did Andren share breath with you?”

I nodded, mesmerized.

“May I?”

I nodded again, lost in anticipation.

Cirrus put his lips to mine as I very willingly reciprocated.  Soon, he ran his tongue over mine and I swear I tasted something spicy as I saw smoky swirlings of dark murky green and grey.  I began to feel something else that both excited and embarrassed me.  I felt myself desire him.  I quickly pulled away, afraid of the unfamiliar yearnings. I looked into Cirrus’s eyes.

“Yes,” he said, grinning at me.  “You are SO meant to be har. Come, my beautiful boy.  Hold on to me and I’ll swim us back.”

We moved wordlessly into the water and he swam me back just as he’d swum me away from the group.  I held onto him, resting my head on his shoulders and wanting to kiss him and caress him. I didn’t dare do so, feeling afraid.

I was actually sorry when we returned to the rocks where the other hara were.  There was a part of me that wanted to, to…I wasn’t sure what, but when Cirrus and I joined the others and he left me with a smile, I felt like I missed him already.  I rubbed my hands over my face and heard Andren’s voice.

“Are you okay?  Is anything wrong?”

I looked over at him.  “No, no, I’m fine.  It’s just been a…a full day.”

Andren gave me an understanding smile.

Finally the time had come for me to return to my side of the river, although I already knew that ultimately I’d someday return to the Wraeththu side for good.

Andren took me away from the others.

“I feel for you, Tom.  I know you’re torn.  I believe you have to follow your heart and soul on this and that eventually everything will fall into place.  I know that sounds like a bunch of platitudes, but I really feel it.  It won’t be a walk in the park but I believe you’re meant to follow that deep yearning and let everything else be as it will be.”

I nodded.  “I know I feel the call and after today...well, I wish I didn’t have to leave here.”  I faltered, tears filling my eyes.  “I just have to work it out.”  I felt I would lose it and break down.  I took a deep breath.

“Take your time, think about things,” Andren said.  “And know you can come to us any time you want to.  We’ll be here.”

I smiled, and then walked away.

“Tom!”  Andren called.

I turned to him.

“Come back soon.”

I nodded and then headed off for home.

I waded back across the river and after I’d put my shoes back on, I sat for a while.  I had to get myself together before joining my family.  I drew up my knees, crossed my arms and laid my head on them.  So much had happened today.  I’d felt such internal longings.  I yearned to be one of them, but I was only fourteen.  I couldn’t leave my family.  They’d never understand.  And then there was the problem of our people finding out about the hara on the other side of the river.  It might as well have been on the other side of the planet.  I felt our cultures were that far apart. As I pondered all these thoughts, I couldn’t hold back.  I began to cry.  I felt hopeless. There was just no way this could happen without people and maybe even hara getting hurt.  I felt desperately wretched and cried my heart out.  Finally, I wiped my tears away and realized I had to go home.  How would I hide my feelings and fears?  I was sure Beck would know immediately.  Maybe I should confide everything in her.  But what if she told our parents?  I couldn’t take that chance.  I’d just have to be strong and put up a front.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t good at pretending.  I’d always been someone who couldn’t and usually didn’t hide my true feelings.

I heaved a sigh, got to my feet and reluctantly headed for home.  Suddenly I felt a voice in my head.  At first it shocked and frightened me.  Then I relaxed.  

I felt, or rather sensed it was Andren’s voice in my mind. I didn’t know how to answer him so I closed my eyes and waited.

I know you can’t answer me, but I’ve felt your anguish.  Please be at peace.  Just return to your family as if nothing happened.  You can do that, I know.  Confide in someone if that will help you.  It will all work out eventually.  Feel and receive the peace I’m sending you.  And please come back to us.  We can help you.  I hope I see you soon.

When I opened my eyes, I felt an all-encompassing peace.  Andren’s words in my mind had given me courage and comfort.  I felt like I had nothing to hide.  I could return home reassured and feeling like myself.  I wish I knew how to thank Andren.  I guessed I would when I saw him again.

I headed for home, confident that even if Beck could tell that something transpired between the “angels” and me today, I could handle it and keep my secret.

I came into our house to find Beck sitting and reading and the smell of something delicious cooking.

“Mmmm,” I said.  “What’s Mom cooking?”

Beck looked up from her book.

“Chicken and dumplings,” she said, scrutinizing me.

“Hope it’s done soon,” I said, sitting next to her and relaxing on the couch.  She regarded me with suspicion.

“What did you do today?” I asked her.

“Hung out with Josh.  What did you do?”

I shrugged.  “Went to the river.”

“Did Andren come over and speak with you?

“No, not today.”

To my surprise, she went back to her reading.  I guessed Andren’s peace had really entered my being.

We had dinner and afterwards, Beck and I headed for Josh and Liz’s.  Beck looked at me sideways a few times, but I just returned her looks with a serene smile.  After retrieving Josh’s stash, we headed for the rocks as usual.  Overhead, an infinitely star studded sky greeted us.

“Wow,” I said.  “This is awesomely beautiful!”

“Yeah,” Liz added.  “The stars seem so numerous out here.  It always amazes me.”

We all sat for a while, smoking, talking and enjoying the vast array of heavenly bodies above us.  A bit later, Josh and Beck left to be together, as usual, and Liz and I were alone.

She looked over at me and smiled.  “Have you seen the angels again?” she asked, innocent hope in her eyes.

I blinked, staring at her for a moment.  I started to say “no,” to lie to her, but something else took over my thoughts.  I remembered Andren telling me to confide in someone, that it would help me.  But I always thought that Beck would be the one.  Now I found myself deciding to confide in Liz.  Liz wouldn’t tell my parents about my plans to become har.  She’d be the one to bare my soul to.  But should I?  I began truly to feel like I should, but not here, not now.

“Yeah,” I answered.  “Yeah, I did.”

She smiled.  “I can’t get them out of my mind.  I’m so…enamored of them.  I know they’re ethereal, heavenly beings, but they’re so beautiful…so beautiful.”

“Yeah, I feel the same way.”

She gave me an understanding smile and then changed the subject.

“I think Josh and Beck are in love,” she said.

“Yeah, I think so, too,” I answered.

“Do you think that’s good?”

“Yes,” I said, looking into her eyes.  “I think that’s very good.”

“So do I,” she said with a genuine smile. “I really like Beck and I can tell Josh has feelings for her he’s never had for a girl before.  If they really get together and get married some day, that’ll make us family.  You and I would be brother and sister-in-law.”

“That’d be awesome,” I said, really meaning it.

“Yeah, it would,” Liz said hugging her knees and staring up at the starry night sky.

“Liz?” I ventured, unsure.

“Yes?” she answered, looking puzzled.

I took a deep breath, glanced away, and then looked back into her eyes as she sat, appearing like she knew something prodigious was about to be revealed.

“There’s…there’s something I want to tell you.  I really need to confide in someone.  I…I want it to be you.”

She placed an encouraging hand on my arm, smiling.  “You can tell me anything.  I promise to keep it secret if that’s what you want.”

I nodded.  “Yes, that’s what I want.  I’m afraid Josh and Beck will come back tonight before I can tell you everything.  I need to speak to you alone.  How about us getting together tomorrow to go fishing at the river?  That should work.”

“Okay.  Just come and get me when you’re ready.”

I nodded.  We sat in silence, gazing at the dome of vast twinkling diamonds above us.  To my surprise, Liz took my hand and gave me a comforting smile.  I squeezed her hand, grateful to have her as a friend and confidant.

Soon after, Josh and Beck returned and sat with us.  They both had a strange but elated glow about them.  Beck looked at Liz and then me and spoke.

“Josh and I just officially became a couple,” Beck said smiling and taking Josh’s hand.  “We declared our love for each other and our desire to be together…indefinitely.”

Josh kissed her.

Liz and I smiled at each other.

“That’s great!” I said.

“Yeah, really great,” Liz added, patting Josh on the back.

“We both just never felt this way about anyone before,” Josh said, looking lovingly at my sister.

“Let’s celebrate!” Liz enthused.

We broke out the pipe and had a high time, celebrating.

Finally, it was time for us to go home.  I could tell that night it was especially hard for Josh and Beck to part.  They took quite a while saying goodnight to each other.

“I hope it works out for us to go to the river tomorrow,” Liz said.

“Yeah, me, too.  I’ll come over some time after lunch, okay?”

“Sure, that’ll be fine.”

As Beck and I walked home, I regarded her.  She looked serene and happy.

“I’m really happy for you and Josh,” I said.

“Thanks, Tom.”  She sighed.  “I’m really completely in love with him.”

I immediately thought about Cirrus and how, since our swim and kiss, he’d taken up almost constant residence in my thoughts.

“Yeah, it’s really beautiful, isn’t it?”

She gave me a perplexed look.  “Yeah, but…how would you know?”

I’m sure I turned red.  “I…I don’t.  I just imagine it’s really the best, you know, to feel that way about someone who returns your feelings.”

She held my gaze with her puzzled expression and then finally smiled, looking up at the stars and said, “Yes, it’s beautiful, like nothing else in the world.”

We giggled and ran the rest of the way home.

                                                                         <><>** to be continued **<><><>( Read more...Collapse )