persephone100

MORNING GLORY

persephone100 — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 20:25:29 GMT

MORNING GLORY

Cal woke up feeling mellow and rolled over to put his arms around Pellaz. He was hoping for a leisurely morning roon when he suddenly realized all he was hugging was a pillow and some blankets.

“Huh?”

He looked over at the bathroom and smiled, thinking he could catch him in the shower.

“Perfect!”

But…no Pell there either.

Cal quickly threw on a silk robe and hurried down to the breakfast room. Still not finding Pell, he went out onto the patio and then through the garden.

“Where the hell is he?” Cal exclaimed as he looked around, puzzled. He heaved a sigh and headed back to Phaonica.

“Hmmm, it’s too early for a meeting…” Cal scratched his head and went back to the breakfast room. This time Caeru was there, sipping coffee in his turquoise satin robe.

“Hey! Have you seen Pellaz?” Cal asked.

“Good morning to you , too.” Rue said, pursing his lips. He sighed and added, “No of course not.”

Then with a smirk and a wink, he added, “And what makes you think I’d tell you if I had?”

“Thanks. You’ve been a big help,” Cal mumbled, leaving hurriedly.

“That’s what I’m here for!” Rue called after him.

Cal walked down the hallway that lead to the back patio and garden, when he paused.

“Aha! The bath! I bet he’s in the pool!”

Cal entered the large glass door quietly and there much to his delight was Pell, rinsing his hair under the fountain at the far edge of the large bathing pool. Cal quickly slipped off his robe and silently slid into the water. He swam underwater until he got right up to Pellaz and broke through the surface of the water, grabbing an unsuspecting Pellaz from behind.

Pell let out a loud yell of surprise.

YAAAA! Cal!!! What the fuck are you trying to do?!! Gods!!! You scared the shit out of me!!”

“Ha hah ha ha! Good!”

Pell pushed Cal away.

“Get off me, you idiot!”

Cal continued chuckling at him. “Serves you right for sneaking off.”

“I wasn’t sneaking! How am I supposed to know when you’ll decide to get your sorry ass out of bed!”

“Well, since I finally found you…” Cal moved back to Pellaz and wrapped himself around him from behind, kissing him on the neck.

Pell splashed him. “Go away! I’m not in the mood!”

“You know I can fix that,” he murmured into Pell’s ear, nibbling it.

“I don’t want you to!”

“Mmmm…you’re all slippery and you smell wonderful,” Cal said, rubbing Pell’s nipples under the water.

Pell chuckled and closed his eyes, then suddenly…

“No! I’m mad at you! You’re an asshole!”

“Yeah, I know. But I’m a very roony asshole.”

“That’s not my problem.”

Cal moved his hands to Pell’s ouna-lim and stroked and caressed him. Pell unintentionally let out a small pleasured moan.

“Come on, Pell. Let’s do the double petal.”

“In the water?! Do you want to drown? You really are an idiot!”

“Okay. I’ll be soume then,” Cal said just before pressing his lips to Pell’s.
Pellaz started to protest, but gave in to Cal’s advances as they shared breath.

Cal swung himself around to the front of Pell and sank down onto him, wrapping his legs around his waist.

“Cal, wait, I…unnnmmm…”

They both began to move as the water seemed to prolong each thrust, drawing out every wave of pleasure. Their culmination was intense and long-lasting, so that when they finally finished, they had to quickly disengage and move to the steps to rest. Cal sat on one of the ornately tiled steps as he drew Pell onto his lap. Pell clung to him as the water lapped at their shoulders and the sound of the fountain bubbled in the distance.

“Now, aren’t you glad I found you?” Cal asked smoothing Pell’s hair out into the water.

“I guess so,” Pell said, teasing.

Call put his head back into the water and slicked down his yellow hair.

“I was hoping for a leisurely morning roon but I suppose a quick, fierce wet one is just as good.”

Pell turned his face to Cal and scowled. “Such romantic talk. Must be what makes you so irresistible.”

“Hah! You know what makes me irresistible!”

Pell shook his head.

Pell started to get up when Cal pulled him back and whispered into his ear, “How about another go. I’ll be ouana.”

Pell gave him a sultry smile.

~~~~**THE END**~~~~

You Say it's your Birthday...

persephone100 — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 19:51:09 GMT

YOU SAY IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY…

Author: Persephone100
Characters: Cal, Pellaz, Caeru
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
Synopsis: Just a bit of fluff
Disclaimer: All the characters, their world and all things Wraeththu belong to Storm Constantine, to whom I am very grateful.

Cal awoke to the sun streaming through the windows. He stretched and yawned, arising late, as usual, despite Pell’s attempts to wake him earlier by opening the curtains. It was almost always sunny in Immanion and Cal had gotten quite used to sleeping with the sun in his eyes.

He took a leisurely shower, dressed and headed for the door. But before going to breakfast, he took a look at the calendar Pellaz always kept by the bedside.

“Hmm, a meeting this afternoon…” he said to himself. Then he unconsciously translated the date to the now obsolete human calendar, which he had a habit of doing. He made a mental note of the significance of the day--or rather, the significance the day used to have. He smirked, shook his head and went down to breakfast.

He sat at the table and almost immediately, a serving har set down a steaming mug of coffee. Cal gave him a nod and sat thoughtfully. He was soon interrupted.

Pell swept into the room with a bundle of papers and sat down purposefully across from Cal, quickly leafing through the pages.

“Nice of you to awaken and join the rest of us,” Pell said, tersely.

“Consider it a personal favor, my love,” Cal replied with his usual lazy smile.

“Hmmph.”

“Anyway, why pick on me when the Tigrina hasn’t showed yet either?”

“I’m sure he’s been up longer than you. He’s primping, most likely.”

“So that counts?”

“At least he’s doing something.”

Cal shrugged and turned his attention to the stack of pancakes that were set before him.

Pellaz heaved an impatient sigh.

“Well, some of us have work to do,” he huffed.

“Knock yourself out,” Cal said with a mouthful of food and a wink.

Pell gave him a dirty look and left as swiftly as he’d entered.

After breakfast, Cal walked out onto the first floor balcony and looked over the garden.

Nothing to look forward to but a dull meeting later that I’m commanded to attend, he thought to himself. He decided to find Rue and see what he was really up to. Cal walked to the Tigrina’s room where he found him in an animated discussion with several house hara.

“So, you really are busy! Now I can’t tattle on you.”

Cal flopped down in one of the Tigrina’s cushy leopard print chairs.

“Cal!” Rue seemed surprised. He quickly shooed out the house hara.

Then regaining his composure from his fluster, he added, “Don’t you have anything better to do than to barge in here and interrupt me?”

“Nope.”

“Well, find something!”

“I’m not scheduled to report for duty until this afternoon. Three o’clock, I think.”

“Well, I certainly don’t want you under foot until then!”

“Okay, okay. Don’t get your knickers in a knot.”

“You know I don’t wear knickers,” Rue stated coyly.

“I’ll take that image with me,” Cal said with a randy smile as he sauntered out of the room.

He headed out to the farthest garden and sat on a bench. He heaved a bored sigh as he looked out toward the sea. The outer gardens were close enough to get the occasional wisp of a sea breeze with the faintly audible sound of the waves if the tide was high and the wind blew inland.

Cal’s thoughts flowed aimlessly for a while, finally settling on the subject of the day’s date. Was it a good day or a bad day for the world? Cal’s answer bordered on self-pity which wasn’t to his liking so he pushed it away.

He then decided to take a walk on the beach, so he kicked off his shoes and headed down the winding path. As he stepped into the sand, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes and turning his face toward the sun. Though it was a balmy day, the sea air had a slight crispness to it so that the warmth felt good on his skin.

Cal walked leisurely at the edge of the water, enjoying the coolness of the waves and wet sand on his feet. Soon he sat down on the beach and peeled off his shirt, leaning back on his elbows and gazing out to sea.

He was deep in thought when movement at the corner of his eye suddenly distracted him. A young har was wading in the waves. Cal studied him as he stood where the waves were breaking and then ran backwards as they crashed on the shore. He didn’t seem to be aware that he was being watched.

Cal smiled to himself. Was I ever that innocent? His smile faded as the truth blotted out his wistful thought. The young har turned to walk on in Cal’s direction and stopped momentarily, obviously now aware that someone had been observing him. Cal sat up and gave him a smile.

“How’s the water?” he called.

“Nice,” the har answered, looking a bit less wary. He finally smiled at Cal as he got closer.

“Are you going in?” the har asked.

“Don’t know. Maybe.”

He gave Cal an inquisitive look as he assessed him and Cal thought for sure he recognized him. But then, as almost every har was inexorably drawn to Cal, so was he. He finally smiled and plopped down on the sand and looked out over the waves. After a few moments, he looked over at Cal.

“You live near here?” he asked. Obviously he hadn’t recognized Cal.

“Yeah, pretty close. How about you?” Cal inquired, turning to the young har.

“No. I live about a twenty minute walk from the beach.”

“And you’re allowed to come here alone?”

“I’m almost at feybraiha!” the har answered indignantly.

Cal put up his hands. “Pardon me!”

The young har’s petulant face relaxed into a grin and he chuckled.

“Sorry. It’s just that I’m getting tired of being treated like a harling.”

“Yeah, I understand. But you should enjoy it as long as you can. You’ll spend an awfully long time as an adult.”

The har looked a bit puzzled but it soon passed.

“What’s your name?” the har asked.

“Hara call me a lot of things.”

The har sighed. “If you don’t want to tell me just say so.”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“Why not?”

“If I told you that, it would be the same as telling you my name.”

The young har huffed and stood up.

“Wait! Okay. I’ll tell you this much: I’m named after a flower. It’s embarrassing.”

The har laughed. “A flower? What’s so bad about that?”

Cal shrugged. The har sat back down.

“Well, my name’s Cypress.”

Cal regarded him.

“My hostling likes cypress trees. What can I say?”

They both ended up chuckling.

“Well, Cypress, what brings you down to the sea today?”

“I don’t know. I’ve wanted to be alone a lot lately.”

“Alone? Or just away from your parents?”

Cypress gave Cal a look that said he’d indeed hit the nail on the head.

“Ah, feybraiha,” Cal mused. “You must be very close.”

“How long ago was it for you?”

Cal laughed. “I’m incepted, my clueless young friend.”

“Really? You don’t look that old.”

“Ouch!”

“I--I mean-”

“It’s okay,” Cal said, chuckling. “I know what you meant.”

“Can I see your scar?”

Cal held out his arm as Cypress inspected it.

“So you used to be human. What was it like?”

“Not so great. That’s why I became har.”

“Yeah, I figured that part out. I mean…how was it different?”

Cal ruminated for a moment.

“Like…I was in the dark and someone turned on the light. Or…like I was asleep and someone woke me up. Or…well, you get the idea.”

Cypress looked into Cal’s eyes.

“Do you have any harlings?”

“Yes.”

“Are you a hostling or a father?”

“I’ve tried my hand at both.”

“I bet your sons never wanted to get away from you.”

Cal laughed. “My dear Cypress, I’ve had hara racing each other to get away from me!”

Cypress looked at Cal with a degree of skepticism and then turned his gaze outward over the ocean. “So, why are you here on the beach?”

“Because today is my birthday. My human birthday. Oh, I know as hara, we’re supposed to forget such things. And I do celebrate my inception as my birthday. But for some reason I always remember my human one. I guess it’s my infernal habit of translating the date to the human calendar. I don’t know why I do it.”

“Maybe your human life meant more to you than you think.”

“Hmmm…very insightful. Maybe there’s a future for you as a harish shrink.”

Cypress chuckled. “There’s no such thing. We’re not supposed to need them.”

“Well, we’re not supposed to admit that we do,” Cal replied with a smirk.

Cypress looked dreamily out over the waves.

“You know…if I’d been human, I think I’d remember my birthday. How could you simply forget everything from when you were human?” He looked back purposefully at Cal.

“You can’t. But we’re supposed to pretend.”

“Well, I wouldn’t.”

Cal gave him a smile.

“You know what I think you should do?” Cypress said grinning back. “I think you should eat cake and get drunk.”

Cal laughed heartily. “Sounds like the perfect evening to me.”

Cypress stood up. “Guess I should go. It’s almost lunch time.”

“Well, it was a pleasure talking with you, Cypress,” Cal said, looking up at him.

“Yeah, same here. Will you be here again soon?”

“Maybe. Why don’t you look for me after you’re through feybraiha,” Cal said, giving the young har a rather lecherous smile.

Cypress blushed and chuckled, then turning, he ran back in the direction he’d come from, splashing through the water.

Cal looked after him, smiling wistfully to himself, remembering when Pell had been that young and innocent. He heaved a sigh and lay back on the sand. For Cal, this was a day that made him reminisce. Some of that was good for his soul but too much of it could send him into a dark place. He shook the negative thoughts quickly away and decided to take a dip. After using one of the outdoor showers to wash the saltiness off, he headed back to Phaonica, dreading the interminable boredom he was sure to experience in the scheduled meeting.

After a quick lunch with a preoccupied chesnari and a missing Tigrina, Cal hung around the palace, killing time until he unwillingly dragged himself to the meeting room.

There they were; all the Hegemony members in their usual places with their usual demeanor. Cal particularly noted Ashmael, with his ever-present arrogant stare and Vaysh, his pale, ethereal face, expressionless--all business as usual. Cal wondered how they could live the way they did. He couldn’t imagine being with any other har than Pellaz, no matter what had transpired in the interim of losing and regaining him. A slightly altered Pellaz was preferable to him than any other har, incepted, created or re-created.

Pell called the meeting to order and Cal resigned himself to sitting through yet another session of Gelaming bullshit. After four torturous hours, the meeting finally came to a close. Had they actually accomplished anything? Cal didn’t know and he most definitely didn’t care. He stood up and stretched, then walked up behind Pell who was gathering up a pile of papers. He slid his arms around him and kissed him on the nape of the neck. Pell shook him off but gave him a smile.

“Where was Rue?” Cal asked. “And what excuse did he have to get out of this meeting? I want to know so I can use it next time. The lucky fuck.”

“His excuse,” Pell replied. “Was that he’s the Tigrina and this particular meeting didn’t need to concern him.”

“Oh. Can I be the Tigrina next time, then? I can dress like a consort and act like a ‘princess.’ It’d sure be worth it.”

Pell shook his head at Cal. “It wouldn’t suit you.” Cal shrugged.

When they got to the dining room, they immediately headed for the small bar. Soon after, Caeru joined them, coming in from the kitchen.

“Ah, he finally shows up,” Cal said, lifting his glass to Rue. “What the hell were you doing in the kitchen?”

“None of your business,” Rue said, fixing himself a drink. “By the way, dinner will be served in about half an hour.”

“All the more time to indulge,” Cal said, plopping down on the couch. “C’mere,” he said to Pell, patting the place beside him. Pell sat down and settled back as Cal put his arm around him.

“Yep. Get drunk and eat cake,” Cal said.

“What?!” Rue asked.

“Nothing. Just something a har said.”

A strange look passed between Rue and Pellaz. Cal noticed it but decided not to say anything.

“What’s for dinner?” he asked instead.

“Why don’t you wait and see,” Rue said. “You’re so impatient.”

“What’s up your ass?” Cal asked.

Rue looked at him indignantly.

Just then a serving har announced that dinner would be served presently, so the three of them settled themselves at the dining table.

“Mmmm, what’s that smell…?” Cal said, mostly to himself.

The serving har set down a platter of meat.

“Steak!” Cal smiled happily. “We hardly ever have steak.” He then looked at the other two. “Okay, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” Rue said with a shrug. “Can’t we have steak now and then?”

“We could but we never do. Too common for Gelaming taste buds,” Cal muttered to himself. But his smile soon returned. “However I’m not complaining.”

The three of them dined on steak, salad and fried potatoes, which were also a favorite of Rue’s. And for dessert, fruit sherbet.

After their repast the three of them retired to the first floor balcony to enjoy the view of the moon and stars. Rue yawned after only sitting for a short while.

“I’m off to bed,” he said and walked into the palace.

“I’ve got a few things to do yet,” Pell said.

“Aw, come on!” said Cal. “After that great dinner, you two are just going to go off and leave me to be bored again?”

“Unlike you, I’ve got things to tend to. Quit pouting and take a moonlight walk. By the time you get back I’ll be in our room.”

Cal huffed and walked down the steps into the garden. He thought maybe he should go into the club district and find Ashmael, who would undoubtedly be carousing by this time.

“I could get drunk and maybe even order a piece of cake!” He chuckled to himself. Nah. I’d rather be with Pell.

The sights, sounds and scents of the night calmed him and made him feel mellow, so he was in a good mood when he finally got back to Phaonica. As he headed down the hall to his and Pell’s room, he saw flickering candlelight and smelled incense.

Hmmm…Pell must be feeling a bit roony. He smiled to himself at the thought. I guess this day won’t be a total loss after all.

As he entered the room, he stopped in his tracks. There, sharing breath on the bed were his lover and Tigrina. They stopped and looked at Cal with seductive eyes, sparkling in the candlelight.

“Don’t stop on my account,” Cal said.

Rue giggled. “First things first.” He went over to a tea tray and wheeled it over. Then, pulling off a cloth that was hiding the cart’s contents he said, “Voila!”

There on the cart was a beautifully decorated cake and several bottles of what appeared to be champagne, on ice.

“What the…? How did you know? How…?” Cal was speechless, an extremely rare occurrence.

Rue and Pellaz laughed. “It was Rue’s idea,” Pell admitted. “I told him you were brooding a bit today because of the date. He took care of the rest.”

Cal grinned from ear to ear. “Did you follow me to the beach?”

Pell and Rue both looked confused.

“Uh, never mind. It’s a story for another time. Let’s get drunk and eat cake!”

Their first helping of cake, washed down with champagne, was consumed in the normal way. Then they got creative.

Cal dipped his fingers into the icing and had Pell lick it off.

Then, giggling drunkenly, Rue blobbed icing onto his nipples.

Look! Pastries!” He said, slurring a bit.

“Don’t you mean ‘pasties’”? Cal asked.

“No, silly! It’s a joke!” he replied into Cal’s face.

Pell had no clue what they were talking about.

Cal licked at some of the icing on Rue as Pellaz grabbed onto Cal from behind and nibbled his ear.

Soon their threesome was in full swing. Clothes were strewn around, the cake was destroyed and the champagne was guzzled.

Afterward, when the three of them lay in a heap, almost passed out, Rue raised his head and gave Cal a drunken smile.

“A very merry unbirthday to you!” he said patting him on the cheek and then plopping his head back down.

Cal chortled and Pell took a minute or two to ‘get it.’”

“A merry unbirthday indeed,” Cal repeated, just before passing out.

~*>>> THE END <<<*~

The Beckoning of Angels Post 8

persephone100 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:19:52 GMT

Voices…I hear voices in the distance. Maybe it’s one voice. I want it to stop. All I want is to sleep.
                                        ***

Voices again. Why can’t they leave me alone? It’s one voice now. What is it saying? Maybe if I answer it will stop. If I can just open my eyes…

“Tom? Tom!! Oh, thank God!!”

It was my mother. She was hugging me and crying. What…?

“Mom?” I could barely speak, my throat was so dry. “What happened?”

As my head and vision cleared a bit I saw my parents and sister leaning over me.

“You were shot, Tom,” my father said.

“Shot? How? When?”

“At the meeting,” Mom said. “Don’t you remember?”

I rubbed my head. One side was very sore and was wrapped with a bandage. “Ow!” It all started to flood back into my memory. “The meeting…the men with guns.”

My sister nodded. I blinked at her. It was then that I was aware of someone’s hand on my arm. I turned to look to my other side.

“Cirrus?”

He smiled at me, tears filling his eyes.

“He’s been with you the whole time,” Mom said.

“He saved you,” Beck added.

“The bullet grazed your skull. You lost a lot of blood,” my father said. “The nearest hospital was too far for you to make it.”

“Many Wraeththu came to heal those who were hurt. If not for them…” My mom broke down.

Cirrus propped me up a bit and gave me a glass of water.

“The others…was anybody…?”

My father nodded. “We lost two of our people. No one we knew well. They were killed instantly. No hara were hit.”

I felt a bit woozy and could hardly believe it all.

Cirrus squeezed my hand and leaned over to kiss me on the forehead. “I was so worried,” he said. “We all were. You were unconscious for three days. It was all we could do to get water in you.”

“I’ll get you some broth,” my mom said. “You need to get your strength back.” She left the room with a motion to my Dad and sister to follow. Then Cirrus and I were alone. He looked into my eyes.

“I’m going to do more healing on you every day until you’re strong again.” He sat on the bed beside me and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

Then suddenly a thought occurred to me. I drew back and looked at Cirrus.

“How…? How could this have happened? I mean…”

He heaved a sigh and looked down.

“I know. The hara let their guard down. No one sensed them until the last minute. We’re not infallible, we…”

Cirrus put his head in his hands. I hugged him.

“I’m sure no one blames them.”

“No. Your people are very understanding. We blame ourselves.”

I didn’t know what to say. Obviously the Wraeththu must have been devastated about the incident. I decided to change the subject.

“Did you tell my family about ‘us’?” I looked up at him.

“No,” he said, chuckling a bit. “But I think they’ve figured it out.”

“Good, that’ll make it easier for me to tell them I’m becoming har. And they’ll have to accept it since you saved my life.” I grinned at him and he hugged me closer.

“You’ll have to be back to perfect health before you can even think of going through inception.”

I sighed. “I know. But I still want to tell them soon. I don’t want it to be just a nice dream any more. I want it to be something I can definitely look forward to; something that will become real.”

                                                           ~~~~***~~~~

Cirrus returned to the Wraeththu settlement but he came every day to visit and do healing on me. I began to feel my strength coming back. I sat up in bed now all day and I was not dizzy or nauseous when I got up to use the bathroom. I was reading one day, enjoying an apple when my mom came in and sat on the bed. She smiled at me but there was a sadness in her expression.

“What? Is something wrong?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No, not really. I just…” She took my hand. “I’m very thankful that Cirrus is taking such good care of you. I like him. We all do.”

I knew what was on her mind.

“I like him, too. A lot.” Then giving her a knowing smile, I added, “You know it’s more than that, don’t you?”

She nodded. “It’s pretty obvious.”

I felt my face become hot and I looked away. “I love him, Mom.” I turned back to meet her eyes once more. “And he loves me.”

“I figured as much. But I don’t quite understand. He’s not human, right? I mean how can you have a relationship? And I know Wraeththu are male and female so…I’m sorry, Tom, but I don’t see how this can work.”

“It can’t. Unless I become one of them.”

She looked a bit perplexed and more than a bit concerned. “So the rumors are true.”

I nodded. “Yes, but the Wraeththu everyone hears about abduct boys and force them to do it. I’m doing it by choice.”

“Are you sure this is what you want? You’re so young. How can you be so certain?”

I gently squeezed her hand and looked purposefully into her eyes. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. I’d rather die than not be with Cirrus. And I felt the call to be one of them even before I fell in love with him. I know this is what I was destined to be and Cirrus is the one I’m meant to be with. There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind, Mom, no doubt. You can see that can’t you?”

“Yes. I can. All I want for my children is for them to be happy.” She got up and walked toward the door. “After it happens, will we ever see you again?” Tears formed in her eyes.

“Of course you will. I’ll only be across the river.”

She smiled but we both knew it wouldn’t be the same. She gently closed the door behind her and I wiped the tears from my face.

                                             <>*<>*<>*<>*<>

Beck, of course, had long since guessed what my plans for the future would be and she was happy for me, though sad that I’d be leaving home. The only one I hadn’t really spoken to one on one with was my father. I’d always had a close relationship with him and his total silence on this very major issue was a complete aberration. I wasn’t sure what made him reluctant to bring it up but I knew I had to discuss it with him.

I think he felt the need to speak about it and I also knew I had to be the one to initiate that. As soon as I’d healed enough to be up and around like normal, I decided to invite him to go fishing with me. That way we could have a private heart to heart with no interruptions. The day I suggested it, he agreed happily and we set off down the banks of the river. It was a beautiful late summer day and though the air was warm and comfortable, the tension between us was not. Finally, we sat on some rocks near a naturally formed deep pool and cast in our lines. We sat for a while in silence listening to the sound of the rippling water, the twittering birds and the breeze gently rustling the leaves.

It’s now or never, I told myself.

“Dad? Um, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I guess Mom told you about me wanting to become Wraeththu.”

He nodded.

“And about Cirrus…and all.”

He shifted his position on the rock and looked uneasy.

“I know it’s all kind of strange, but…” I didn’t know quite what to say. He looked over at me with an expression of unmistakable concern on his face

“Is it because Cirrus is a male and I’m attracted to him? Or because he’s part female and I want to be that, too?”

He shook his head. “No, no it’s not that. I think I’m pretty open minded about that stuff. It’s…it’s just--”

“That this isn’t the future you envisioned for your son,” I finished.

He heaved a sigh and looked back out over the river. “None of this is the future I envisioned, for any of us. I mean, we took you and your sister away from a normal life. We moved out here and…I don’t know.” He rubbed his hand over his forehead.

I put my hand on his shoulder. “Beck and I know you and Mom decided to move here because you thought it was best for us. Even though we didn’t want to come here, we always knew you did it to protect us and because you love us. In spite of everything, we never doubted that for a minute.”

He seemed to feel better and gave me a smile.

“And when I met the hara and found out that I could be one of them, it was all I thought about. I’ve known from the moment I met them, even before I knew it was possible, that I was destined to be har. Then I met Cirrus. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about him. We love each other and want to be together as far into the future as we can imagine. The Wraeththu call it ‘chesna.’ We’ve already pledged ourselves to one another.” I looked into my father’s eyes and smiled. “I haven’t told that to anyone yet.”

He seemed touched.

“Your mother and I, we just want you to be happy.”

“Yeah, she told me the same thing. Believe me, if I’m able to be with Cirrus, I will be.”

My Dad patted my knee and reeled in his line to cast it out again. It was settled.

                                        ***<><><>***

The next time Cirrus came to visit and do healing on me, he told me that I was completely healed. I was ecstatic. We took a walk by the river.

He slipped his hand into mine and said, “There’s nothing to prevent you from becoming one of us now.” He stopped and faced me, taking both my hands in his. “Are you ready? I don’t want to rush--”

“Yes,” I interrupted, smiling into his sky-blue eyes. “I’m ready. So ready.”

We sealed it with a kiss and it was decided that I’d come to the Wraeththu settlement the next day to begin the Forale: the three day ritual of fast and cleansing.

                                                     <><>**<><>

That morning, I awoke early. As I sat thinking on the edge of the bed, my glance settled on several of the gifts I’d gotten for my birthday. Those things and many of things there in my room meant a lot to me.   What would I take with me? Would my clothes even fit or be appropriate? I wouldn’t physically be a ‘boy’ anymore. I looked out the window at the morning sky and decided I’d take nothing with me but my body and soul. These things would stay here with my family and I could look at them when I visited. I took the clothes on my back and the necklace Cirrus had given me. I hadn’t taken it off since he put it on me.

I walked out into the kitchen where my family was eating breakfast.

“Are you sure you can’t have anything to eat?” My mom asked.

I shook my head. “No. I need to fast. Cirrus told me it will make the transition easier for me. Smells good though.”

My mom got up and came over to me, grabbing me into a hug. I could tell she was crying.

“It’s okay, Mom. I’ll be fine. You’ll see me soon, I promise.”

“You’re not going to be my little boy anymore.”

I chuckled. “That would happen anyway, right?”

She nodded, wiping her eyes. My father then came and hugged me.

“See you soon,” he said.

It was then Beck’s turn. “I’ll be jealous if you turn out prettier than me,” she said pouting at me. After having a laugh, she hugged me. “We’re really lucky, you and I. I have Josh and you have Cirrus.”

“Yeah, we’re lucky,” I repeated, my eyes filling with tears.

Just then there was a knock on the door. It was Cirrus. After greeting my family he offered to wait for me outside, but I said I was ready to go with him.

As we walked away from the house, I wiped my eyes.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I looked into his eyes and he gently took me into his arms. When we crossed the river, my spirits lifted and I looked forward to my future.

When we went through the barrier, Cirrus took me to a tent that was to be the forale ‘house.’ I got undressed and into a nightshirt. Cirrus sat by me on the small bed that had been set up for me there and took my hand.

“Some hara will come to take care of you for the next three days. They’ll wash you and give you water and tea. When I leave, I won’t be allowed to see you except for the actual inception when I give you my blood.”

I nodded my head solemnly. Cirrus gently tipped my face up with his fingers.

“But after the change, I’ll be waiting.”

We leaned into a kiss and all my apprehension melted away and I knew in my heart that whatever I was about to go through would be worth it in the end.

                                             <><><>*****<><><>

At the end of my three days of fast and cleansing, I felt weak but anxious to get on with the process. On the final day, I was washed and dressed in a white robe. I was given something to relax me, so I was a bit out of it. I still could hear voices around me as I lay on my bed. I figured I was no longer in the forale house, but I had no idea of my exact location and I really didn’t care. I remember seeing Cirrus’s face above me as he kissed my forehead. I felt something cold on my arm, then it felt hot. Somehar was speaking a prayer or something and I felt pressure on my arm. I was vaguely cognizant of that being the moment of inception when Cirrus’ blood mingled with mine. The last thing I consciously remembered was thinking: It’s happening…it’s really happening…

The next several days were a blur of pain, hallucination and unconsciousness. I remember feeling some-har trying to wash me and dabbing my face with cool water. When I’d feel the pain, it was horrific; like someone was burning me inside and twisting my guts around. Then suddenly it would fade into oblivion.

One day I awoke to the sound of birds chirping and the breeze blowing through the trees. I found myself in a white tent, clean and pain free. Was it over? Was I one of them now? I felt my face and looked at my hands. Stll freckled, still me but somehow…different. I seemed to be naked so I gathered my courage and lifted the covers to look at the rest of me. I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized I was still male, but something was different. Then I remembered what I’d been told. That was my ouana-lim. It’s done. I’m har. I gently and gingerly slid my fingers further to check out my ‘girl’ parts. Sure enough, there was what I then remembered was my soume-lam. The whole thing was a little overwhelming to me so I laid there taking it all into my mind.

Out of nowhere, I detected something on the air, something familiar. A scent of lavender and spice. Cirrus!

I looked toward the door of the tent and Cirrus stood there silhouetted by the sunlight behind him, his long shirt flowing about him in the breeze. He looked like an angel and I thought back to the first time I’d ever seen him and his kindred. Even though I now knew better, they still looked like angels to me. He came over and knelt by my bed, taking my hand in his and raising it to his lips. He closed his eyes and said , You are Wraeththu now, my beloved--one of us. But he hadn’t actually spoken. I’d heard his voice in my mind. I smiled at him and he gave me a sweet chaste kiss on the lips. It felt different, so much more intense than before, like someone had opened up all my senses.

A har appeared behind Cirrus and handed him a large mug, then bowed and left. Cirrus helped me to sit up and handed me the mug.

“This is a special tea to bring you strength. Drink it slowly but drink it all.”

He sat by me on the bed while I sipped the warm, sweet tea.

“How long was I sick?” I asked.

“Three days. You did very well. I attribute that to your youth,” he said with smile.

Suddenly a thought shot into my mind.

“What…what do I look like? Can I see myself?”

“Certainly. Come with me.”

I stood up, still feeling a bit weak. Cirrus helped me over to the corner of the tent. There stood what looked like an antique full-length mirror. I got a little nervous.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said. “You’re beautiful. I didn’t think it was possible for you to be any more beautiful than you already were but--see for yourself.”

Even though I was anxious to see myself, I tentatively stepped in front of the mirror with my eyes closed. The vague memory of my peeling skin was still very fresh in my mind. I opened my eyes and looked at my reflection. I could hardly believe that the slim, elegant creature staring back at me was--me! I touched my face and looked closer into my own eyes.

“Yes, my love,” Cirrus said, putting his arms around me from behind. “It’s you.”

I stared for a few more minutes as Cirrus stepped away. He came back with a robe and helped me into it. “Let’s go to my tent. I have a gift for you.”

We walked through the enchanting pathways of the settlement until we got to Cirrus’s tent. It was made of a creamy-yellow hued material, which gave the inside a warm mellow feeling as it diffused the sunlight. He lead me to his room, that was bathed in the same softening glow as the entry way. There were banners of silky diaphanous fabric of varying delicate colors hung on the tent walls.

“These are for you,” Cirrus said, indicating some clothes lying on his silken gold bedcover. I smoothed my hand over the emerald velvet of the tunic and leggings and smiled over at him. “These are beautiful.”

“Go ahead. Get dressed. I’m taking you to your inception ceremony and then to a party at Andren’s home.”

He stepped close to me and pressed his lips to mine. Then we’ll come back here and finally be alone. He spoke into my mind and then we shared breath for the first time as hara. He showed me golden clouds and blue skies. I felt his love for me in such an intimate way that I can’t describe it in mere words. I became aware of sensations in parts of me that I literally had not yet fully discovered that I had. When he drew away, I still stood with my eyes closed, a bit disoriented, wishing it hadn’t had to end.

Cirrus chuckled. “That is only a taste of the delights we’ll share.”

I opened my eyes, wondering how I’d be able to stand it and wanting desperately to find that out.

Cirrus handed me the clothes as I tried reluctantly to come back to reality. I got dressed as Cirrus went over to a wardrobe and brought back a pair of black boots and something silver. I put on the boots and stood up.

“Perfect!” he said. “I knew the green would be gorgeous with your red hair. Turn around.”

I turned and he pulled the long part of my hair into a ponytail and tied it with the silver cord.   I’d let my hair grow ever since I’d seen the hara at the river.

“There.” he said, giving me the once-over. He looked into my eyes. “You are so exquisite.” I still felt like the skinny awkward fifteen-year-old I’d been but I remembered my image in the mirror and began to believe his words of praise.

“We’d better go before I lose my resolve not to take you right now,” he said. I truly wished he would do just that.

Cirrus took my hand and we walked through the settlement together.   “Something on your mind?”

“Yes! A lot of things,” I answered with a laugh. “But I was just thinking that you’d never before shown me your home.”

He chuckled and looked a bit embarrassed. “I guess I didn’t trust myself. And I wanted to wait until it was your home, too.” He squeezed my hand. “Have you given any thought to what your har name will be?”

“I, uh…not really.”

“How would you feel about ‘Scarlet?’ I’ve seen you with that name ever since I met you.”

“Scarlet,” I repeated. “Yeah, I like it.”

We walked to the square, where I’d assumed the ceremony would take place but he lead me on to the other end of the settlement where many hara were standing among the ancient trees. When they saw our approach, they formed themselves into two lines, with Andren standing alone at the other end. Cirrus locked his arm in mine and we walked down the middle of the two lines of hara as they bowed. Yellow leaves fell slowly from the trees as we walked. The whole thing felt like a dream. Cirrus and I stopped in front of Andren and all were silent until Andren spoke.

“We gather here today to welcome a new inceptee. He has passed through the trial of pain and has been forever changed. He is now Wraeththu: one of us, bound to our clan by blood and will. We also honor the chesna bond that has been forged between these two.”

Andren turned to me. “What name have you chosen for yourself?”

I looked to Cirrus and then answered, “Scarlet.”

Andren placed a hand on both our heads and whispered a blessing and prayer. He then took both my hands in his and said, “Welcome, Scarlet.” He kissed me and then Cirrus on both cheeks in turn.

“Let us now welcome our newest brother!”

Hara clapped and cheered. Then we mingled for a while as har after har came to congratulate me and Cirrus and to welcome me personally as one of their own.

Soon the crowd dispersed and some of us headed toward Andren and Brinn’s tent for the reception party. We enjoyed the food, drink and well-wishes of Andren and Cirrus’s closest friends for an hour or so. As I finished my second glass of sheh, Cirrus leaned close and said, “I think it’s time we took our leave.” He turned my face to his and kissed me as hara cheered and whistled. I was a little embarrassed, but in such an ecstatic way that it was very pleasant. I also felt a stirring that was somewhat familiar to me but was now of such a powerful and intricately intense nature that it almost overtook me. I caught my breath as Cirrus parted us, much to the amusement of the attending hara.

“I envy you,” Andren said with a knowing grin. “Your first aruna is always…enlightening.”

Hara laughed and chortled. A toast was made to Cirrus and me as we stood up to leave. We left Andren’s tent, the hoots and whistles of the hara fading as we made our way to Cirrus’s tent: our tent, our home.

                                           ***<>*<>*<>*<>***

Once inside, Cirrus went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of wine. He took my hand giving me a look that sent shivers all through me, pleasant shivers of desire. He sat the bottle down on a bedside table and walked back to me. He looked into my eyes as he slipped his hand around my waist gently removing the silver cord from my hair with the other. I closed my eyes and parted my lips as he touched his own to mine. Soon, I saw my first meeting with Cirrus in my mind’s eye and events after that flashed before me--but no, it wasn’t that. Cirrus was giving them to me. I began to think with him and felt our minds touch as we shared images of our times together. It was a waking dream that we were sharing; giving and taking, mingling our images and innermost feelings. It was an intimate, erotic sharing like I never could have imagined. Our bodies, minds and our very souls seemed to merge and melt into one.

When Cirrus parted us, I still felt as though I was in another world as he gently laid me back on the bed. He slowly removed my tunic, and then my pants, kissing me lightly on my skin as he did so. I opened my eyes to see him undress, his pale, slender body and white-gold hair made him look like a divine being.

He lay next to me and planted warm, wet kisses on my neck, then murmured into my ear, “You’re mine now, truly mine and I am yours…forever.”

We again shared breath as we explored each other’s bodies. Cirrus slid his fingers to my soume-lam, that rather mysterious part of my new anatomy. I felt an ache deep inside me that was a mixture of pleasure and pain, desire and need. Involuntary sounds issued from my mouth; unbidden noises of pleasure that I couldn’t control. Suddenly, I felt another strange sensation and I caught in my breath as I realized what was happening. My ouana-lim recoiled into my body and I became soume. Cirrus and I shared breath again and I touched his ounna-lim. The shaft was hard but the skin was like velvet. After a short time, he flowered in my hand, as his delightful soft sounds of pleasure were whispered in my ear.

I felt something deep within me; a burning fire of need that could only be quenched by him inside me. I lay on my back and involuntarily uttered needy sounds. I was beyond being able to form words, but I didn’t need to. We’d passed beyond them. My every need was known to him and he met each one immediately and perfectly.

Finally he entered me gently and the intensity of pleasure was almost unbearable. We moved together and I felt the burning in my core cry out for him. When the quenching tongue struck my core, colors flowed in my mind’s eye as my body quaked and spasmed. I felt like I was melting; melting into one with him.

At almost the same time, I sensed his ouana-lim pulsing inside me, adding to our shared ecstacy. Afterward, I lay immobile and really didn’t care if I ever moved again. Cirrus gently slid out of me and nestled by my side, kissing my neck and face and murmuring things I couldn’t really hear. But I sensed their intention and I returned the sentiments to him in mind touch, still feeling that words would only fail me.

We lay like that close and silent for quite some time. I found myself wondering if it could ever feel quite like that again. It did. There was something unique about that first time, it’s true, but every time with Cirrus was exquisite and almost surreal.

We spent I believe a whole week alone, together in our little cocoon of erotic pleasures.    We stayed in our tent; eating, drinking, rooning, bathing and sleeping. I never wanted it to end.

“Do all hara feel like this at first?” I asked him after a delectable arunic gambol. He leaned close and kissed my neck, then whispered in my ear, “Only the lucky ones, my love. Only the lucky ones.”

Finally, it was time for us to branch out into the rest of the world. So after a week, we agreed to get dressed and leave the tent, somewhat reluctantly. I watched Cirrus pour the coffee for us and sit across from me at the small round table in the corner of the kitchen.

“I don’t think we’ve been this far away from each other since our first night,” I said. He chuckled at me. We began to eat the pancakes I’d helped him prepare.

“Would you like to visit your family?” he asked. I nodded, eagerly.

“It seems strange now to call them my family because we’re chesna.
You’re my family now. But I guess they still are, too.”

“Well, in the interest of clarity, let’s call them your family and me you’re ‘one and only,’” he joked.

After cleaning things up, we stepped out of the tent and into a perfect early autumn day. Beryl and saffron-colored leaves fluttered down and swirled around our feet as we made our way through the settlement. I started to feel a little apprehensive as we got closer to my family’s house. I didn’t know why except that I felt so different. I guess I was afraid my feelings for them would be different, too. I would soon find out that wasn’t true, much to my relief.

When we got to the door, I almost knocked. Then I laughed at myself and shook my head. Cirrus gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Mom? Anybody here?” I called. Soon my mother and sister came out of the kitchen. They stopped in their tracks. Beck’s jaw dropped open.

Tom!!” my mom exclaimed. “My God! Is that really you?”

I felt my cheeks flush as she rushed over and hugged me. After a few moments, she pulled back. “Let me look at you!” She covered her mouth with her hands.

“I’m speechless,” she said. “You look kind of older, but ageless, really.” She looked me up and down and then touched my face. “You’re beautiful.”

“Damn!!” my sister shouted. “You ARE prettier than me!”

She rushed over and hugged me. “And I’ll never forgive you for that. You brat!”

She’d gotten us all laughing. “Well, sit down!” Mom said. “Your father and Josh are tending to some horses. They should be back soon.

I felt my stomach flutter. I was thrilled with the reactions of my mom and sister but Dad and Josh. I was a bit afraid of what they’d think of me.

Mom got us all some iced tea and we talked for a while, until I heard a commotion at the door. My dad and Josh were talking and stomping the dirt off their boots. They opened the door and entered in their stocking feet.

“I like the dappled one,” Josh said. He’s got spirit. I think--” He stopped in mid- sentence and stared at me, then Cirrus then Beck. My Dad only stared at me.

“Tom?” He came toward me slowly as I stood up. His face morphed from surprise to approval, as a smile graced his lips. He gave me a hug. “Tom. God, it’s good to see you.” I hugged him back. When we’d let go he, too looked me over. “You…you look great, really great.” I could tell he was a bit stunned. “How do you feel?”

“Wonderful. Different…” I said with a self-conscious smile. “But wonderful. Oh, and I’m called Scarlet now.”

My dad turned to shake hands with Cirrus as Josh approached me.

“Wow!” he said extending his hand, which I gratefully took to shake. “You sure are one of them!” He gave me a wide smile. “I guess you kinda always were.”

I took it as a compliment and figured he understood. A wave of relief came over me.

Cirrus and I spent the day with my family and even ate dinner with them. They all wanted to know what inception was like. Beck was the only one to ask me what aruna was like--and in front of everyone! I knew she just wanted to see if I’d still turn vermillion. She wasn’t disappointed. Of course Mom told her that was private and was mortified that she’d asked. But I’m sure no one was surprised that she did. This was Beck, after all. I knew some day I’d tell her about it.

That night as Cirrus and I lay wrapped in each other’s arms, I mulled over the day’s events and felt peace. I’m sure Cirrus sensed it, as he could sense just about everything I was feeling.

“So, you’re happy with the way your family sees you and feels about you now?”

I nodded into his chest. “Yeah. It’s actually a load off my mind. They’re still important to me.” I raised up and looked into his eyes. “That’s okay, isn’t it?”

He chuckled. “Of course it is. It’s just that most hara don’t live in such close proximity to their human family. It’s kind of a unique circumstance. But I have a feeling it won’t be so unique before long. We’ve already had quite a few boys express interest in becoming Wraeththu. We’re breaking new ground here. I have a feeling it’s going to be quite an adventure.”

As he kissed me, I thought back to when I’d first felt the need to answer the call of the beckoning ‘angels’. I knew Cirrus and I were also about to embark on an adventure of our own: one I was certain would last as long as we lived.

                                         <>* THE END *<>

The Beckoning of Angels Post 8

persephone100 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:05:06 GMT

The Beckoning of Angels Post 7

persephone100 — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:19:26 GMT

I woke up on Friday full of anticipation. Not really because it was my birthday but because Cirrus had asked me to come that day to see him. I walked into the kitchen, still a bit groggy and my mom was there cooking.

“Hey there, birthday boy.”

“Mom, I’m fifteen.”

“Okay, I know. I made an omelet for you and waffles.”

“Mmmm, thanks. Where is everybody?”

“Dad’s out back and Beck’s with Josh. I’m glad you got to sleep in. And no chores for you today. What would you like to do? Go fishing, I bet.”

“Uh, yeah. That’s what I want.” Mom was acting weird. I shrugged, thinking it was just because she was happy about it being my birthday and all. Moms love stuff like that. I was very happy that she expected me to go to the river. That meant there was nothing in the way of my seeing Cirrus.

After breakfast, I got myself cleaned up and told my mom I was leaving.

“Okay, have fun. And take your time. I have to bake your cake yet.”

“Uh, okay, Mom. See ya.” She seemed almost too happy. If I hadn’t known better I’d have thought she’d found Josh’s secret stash by the river. I shook it off and my heart lightened, knowing I’d soon be with Cirrus.

When I got to the barrier, Cirrus came through. He took my hand and gave me a look that made me melt inside.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said as he leaned close to kiss my forehead. “Let’s go.”

We stepped through the barrier and Cirrus gave me a smile and squeezed my hand. We walked to a grassy clearing in the woods and sat down together on the soft forest floor.

“I’ve got something for you,” he said. “Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”

I giggled at his intrigue and held out my hand. I felt him take it and place something smooth in it.

“Okay. Open your eyes.”

There in my hand was a black polished stone symbol on a cord. I’d never seen anything like it.

“It’s beautiful,” I said as I smoothed it over and turned it in my hand. It was round with three concentric circles carved near the outer edge. There were three dots at the top inside the circles and three convergent rays emanating downward and outward from the dots. The carvings were painted gold. “Is it a harish symbol?”

“We have adopted it but it’s an ancient celtic symbol. Each ray has three meanings.” He cupped my hand in his as he pointed to the carvings. “One is for past, present and future, one is for love, knowledge and truth, and one is for male and female energy and the balance between the two. To me they mean my hope for the two of us--you becoming har, our love for each other and our future together.”

I looked into his eyes and then hugged him fiercely, tears springing to my eyes. “I love it. It’s so beautiful.” I pulled back to look at him. “And it’s from you. I’ll never take it off.”

Cirrus fastened my new treasure around my neck and then kissed me there, gently. “Happy birthday, my love,” he said.

I pressed my lips to his and began to feel the warmth of desire spread through me. I opened to him and our tongues touched and played. I knew we should stop but I couldn’t help myself. I felt his love and need enter my mind and soul and I never wanted our kiss to end. But inevitably, he pulled away, leaving me breathless.

“Gods,” he said. “We shouldn’t do this,” he said. “We shouldn’t…”

He stood up and turned away from me. I got up quickly and hugged him from behind. He touched my embracing arms and heaved a sigh. No words passed between us, but I didn’t have to be har to know that he was thinking the same thing I was and feeling the same pain of wanting to be together but knowing it was impossible.

“Let’s take a walk,” he finally said. I nodded and we walked slowly through the wooded path, my hand in his. When we got to the river, we sat on the rocky shore and stared out at the gently rippling water. Cirrus looked so forlorn that I thought maybe I should go; that my being there was only making it more difficult for him.

“Do you want me to go? I don’t mind if--”

“No!” he interrupted. He pulled me closer, put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. “No, of course I don’t. I’m sorry. I just…”

“I know,” I said, looking into his lovely blue eyes.

“I know you do,” he said, finally smiling, and squeezing me tighter.

I spent the entire afternoon with Cirrus. We talked, touched, and simply enjoyed the intense bliss of being together. It was the most wonderful birthday of my life. I tried to keep the thought of having to leave out of my mind for the day. It was too painful to endure. But as inevitably as the sun had to set, we had to part, yet again. We stepped through the barrier and Cirrus pulled me close.

“Someday, my love, we won’t be separated. Someday,” he said softly.

Tears prickled my eyes and I held him desperately close. “I wish I could stay with you--today and forever.”

He pulled back and gave me a wan smile. “I was going to save this for another time, but…” He looked into my eyes, holding both my hands in his. “I want us to be together forever, too. That’s why…that’s why I want to ask you to be my chesnari. You understand what that means, right? I know you’re still human, but I want that promise between us--to give us hope.”

I flung myself against him and hugged him tight. “Yes, I know what it means--that we pledge ourselves to each other. And yes, I’ll be your chesnari. Yes, yes, yes…” I murmured into his neck. We shared an intense kiss but managed to part without going too far.

“I can’t explain my intense feelings for you,” he murmured, still holding me in his arms. “That’s the way it is with love, I guess. Even though you’re still human, I see you--I see you as har--as mine.” he buried his face in my neck.

“I’ve never felt like this--ever, human or har,” he murmured. “Being with you is euphoria and agony. It overwhelms me sometimes. I guess this is why some hara feel we shouldn’t fall in love. But without this agony and ecstasy, it wouldn’t be life. It would be existence. Who wants to simply exist for over a hundred years--”

He heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry.” He chuckled. “I tend to get a bit carried away sometimes.” He drew back and met my eyes with his. “Only about you. Just you,” he said sounding almost helpless. My eyes welled up.

“Something about you,” he said. “I saw it the moment we met and it grew and blossomed. You’re so beautiful, so innocent and lovely. How could I not fall.”

I grabbed him into a hug and sobbed. “I…I--”

“I know,” he whispered. He took a deep breath and loosed his hold on me.

“Have a wonderful birthday with your family. And come back soon. I’ll be waiting.”

He gently swept my bittersweet tears away with his fingers. “Thank you for my gift,” I managed. “I’ll treasure it.”

He let go of me and quickly turned and disappeared into his world. I reluctantly walked away toward mine.

By the time I’d gotten within sight of my house, I’d pulled myself together and decided I wouldn’t be unhappy in front of my family. I stepped inside our door and closed it behind me, turning around.

“SURPRISE!!!!”

There in the front room were all of my family and Josh and his family, too! I was floored. Looking at all of them and realizing how much they’d done to make my birthday truly happy, I felt my heart lighten.

“Come on in,” my mom said, excitedly. “Your birthday dinner is served!”

We really had to crowd around the table and some extra chairs had appeared, probably borrowed from Josh’s parents. As we were eating and conversing, I noticed my Mom staring at me.

“Your necklace,” she said. “Isn’t that new? Where did you get it?”

I froze, my mind blank and blinked back at my mother. I’ve got to say something! Think! Think!

“From me,” Liz said, suddenly. “He got it from me. An early birthday gift.”

“Well, it’s beautiful,” my mom added.

I let out the breath I’d been holding and mouthed a “thank you” to Liz, who gave me a wink.

After dinner, we had the cake, complete with fifteen matches, as birthday candles were impossible to get. And then, much to my surprise, there were presents! My Dad had found a real fishing rod and reel for me, Josh gave me a book of his I’d shown interest in, Annie drew a picture of me, complete with freckles and Beck gave me an IOU to do my chores for a week. From Liz I got a t-shirt, taken from the miscellaneous goods we could choose from, acquired on the rare trips certain people took to the city for supplies. It was green with black letters that said:

authentic redhead
(keep out of direct sunlight)

I was genuinely touched by all the gifts. They had real meaning to them and were given with a lot of thought and caring. I managed to thank everyone without blubbering, for which I was grateful.

After that we all helped with the cleanup--all but me, that is.   My mom insisted that I not work on my birthday.   We visited together for a while until Beck asked if we could go look at the stars.

“Sure,” my dad said. “You young people go have fun,” Mom added.

When we got outside, I grabbed Liz by the arm as Josh and Beck walked ahead.
“Thanks for saving my ass earlier--about the necklace, I mean.”

She giggled. “You’re welcome.”

“How did you know it was from Cirrus?”

“I could tell just by looking at it. It was too exotic to have come from anyone else. Besides, the petrified look on your face would have given it away, anyway.”

“Well, thanks, really! And thanks for the t-shirt, too.”

“At first, I just saw the green and thought it would look good on you but then when I saw what it said, I knew I had to get it!”

We had a wonderful night as usual, sharing the pot, the river and the beautiful heavenly show of stars.

                                           ….>>>>>**<<<<<....

After the first meeting between Andren and Mr. Harrison, I made it my habit to get to the river via the road that passed by his house. One day, he was on his porch as I went by. My heart leapt as he walked over to me.

“Hi, Tom. How’ve you been?”

“Fine.” I tried to speak calmly but I was dying to hear what he had to say. He leaned on the fence.

“The meetings have been going very well. As a matter of fact, Andren and I both decided it was time to include more of our people. I’ve decided to take several of my most trusted friends to the next meeting. We want to take this to the next level.”

I was ecstatic! It was all I could do to control myself from squealing or jumping up and down or something else entirely immature and inappropriate. But I managed to use some self control.

“Really?! That’s…that’s great! Wonderful!” I was able to stop there and collect myself some more.

“Yes, we think so, too. I want to eventually include about fifty of our most trusted and admired people in the meetings. Then when the time is right to reveal our collaboration to the whole community, there will be a large group of our outstanding citizens behind the idea. What do you think?”

“I think that’s the best news I’ve ever heard!”

He chuckled. “Well, it will be a while yet. We want to take it slow and make sure the outcome will be what we want and what’s best for all of us. But we’re making progress and I wanted you to know.”

“Thanks, Mr. Harrison. Thanks a lot!”

“I’ll keep you informed.”

I nodded to him and headed off for the river, walking on air. I couldn’t wait until our communities were as one, then Cirrus and I could be, too.

                                              _>->->***<-<-<_

Time seemed to pass slowly for me. The meetings went on secretly all summer and Mr. Harrison kept me abreast of the progress, but it seemed to be taking an eternity! Finally one day in late August I got the news I’d been hoping and praying for.

I’d walked past Mr. Harrison’s but there was no sign of him. I sighed, wishing he’d give me an update. It had been quite a while since I’d heard anything. I didn’t even go as far down the river as usual, feeling a bit lazy and disheartened. I cast my line into the river and sat on the grass. After a while I heard someone approaching, and was surprised to see Mr. Harrison making his way down the riverbank. He waved and smiled when he saw me. He hurried the rest of the way and was a little out of breath when he reached me.

“Hi, Tom. I was hoping to find you. I saw you go by the house but I couldn’t come out right then.” He sat down beside me and caught his breath.

“I’ve got good news,” he said smiling. I stared back in anticipation.

“After meeting for months with the Wraeththu and getting many of our people, on both their side and ours, agreed on our collaboration, we’ve decided the time is finally right to reveal our plans to our community. The Wraeththu community already knows. I’m going to announce this at the next meeting. Andren and several other hara are going to be there. I’m going to introduce them to the community.”

I was stunned and speechless. “Y-you mean…really?! It’s going to happen? Soon?!” I’m sure I was all smiles.

“Yep! This week at the meeting.”

“That’s…” I had to stop and think. “That’s three days from now!”

“Sure is! I knew you’d be pleased.”

“Pleased?! I’m…I’m…”

He laughed, patted me on the back and then stood up to leave. “I’m excited about it, too. I had to tell you. After all, you helped make it happen. I’ll see you at the meeting.”

As I watched him walk away, I felt like I should pinch myself. I could hardly believe it was real. I sat staring out over the sparkling water, one thought in my mind: I HAVE to see Cirrus!

I looked up into the sky, shading my eyes. The sun was still high so I figured I had time to venture across the river. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought of being with Cirrus. I made it to the barrier and waited until someone sensed me. A har came through and smiled at me. He took my hand and we crossed the barrier, the familiar tingling danced through my body as we came through.

“I’ll take you to Cirrus,” he said with a smile.

How did he know? I’d never seen him before. Then suddenly I recognized him--the dark-haired har that had been swimming with Cirrus that day at the river. I felt my face get hot and I tried not to let my embarrassment show. Maybe he didn’t even know that I’d gotten upset that day. But who was I kidding? He was har! He could probably read me like a book. They all could. My shame was probably flashing like a neon sign to them! I was thinking of running away when I saw Cirrus ahead of us on the path talking with several hara. He turned to me and his smile made me forget about everything else.

“Look who I found,” the dark-haired har said to Cirrus with a grin. Cirrus took my hand in his and we walked further down the path together. He leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“What a perfect surprise,” he said. We walked a short distance and sat on a stone bench by the path.

“I saw Mr. Harrison today,” I said, barely able to contain my excitement. “He told me that your leaders are coming to our next community meeting!”

“I wondered if you knew yet.” He put his arm around me, drew me close and kissed the top of my head. I encircled his waist with my arm and snuggled into him. We didn’t need to say anything. We both knew this meant our time of being able to be together was drawing nearer. He sighed. “Knowing it’s close only makes me want it to happen faster.” He gave me a squeeze. “But I’m so happy--especially with you here in my arms.” He pulled away and took my face in his hands, looking into my eyes. “Sometimes I feel so…inappropriate,” he said, looking a bit sad. “You’re really still a child. But I already see you as the har you’ll become. Then age will have no meaning for us.”

I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heart. “It already has no meaning for me. The only thing that does is my love for you and to know you love me back.” He enfolded me in his arms and we stayed there, neither of us wanting to ever let go.

                                      :::::::~~~****~~~~:::::::

The next three days seemed to drag interminably. Finally it was Thursday: the day of our weekly community meeting but this one would be monumental. My family and I filed into the meeting house like all the others. We sat next to Josh and his family. Liz gave me a secret smile and she took my arm and squeezed it excitedly as she sat down next to me. She and I were the only ones who knew that the Wraeththu leaders would be making an appearance. I’d told her Monday night when we were alone sitting by the river.

The meeting seemed to go on forever. We discussed crop planting, animal breeding, supply levels and other tedious subjects. Finally, as everyone assumed the meeting was about to end, Mr. Harrison held his hands up.

“May I have your attention! Your attention, please.”

Everyone got quiet.

“Thank you. There’s one more item of business to attend to. New business. VERY new business,” he added with a smile. He motioned with his hands and a large group of people joined him up front on the raised area.

“I have a very important announcement. For weeks now I have been meeting with the leaders of another settlement. I know you all recognize these prominent pillars of our community. These people here have been aware of this planned alliance for a while now. Tonight it’s time to tell you all. We are going to join forces with this other community. It will be of great advantage to us, and to them as well, I hope. We will trade, exchange knowledge and information and gain strength against any threat that may befall either of our communities. United, we will grow, prosper and be safe.”

There was a buzz from the crowd and when Mr. Harrison held up his hands again, they fell silent.

“I’m going to bring out the leaders now so you can meet them.”

All eyes turned in the direction Mr. Harrison indicated with a sweep of his arm and when the four Wraeththu appeared, there were gasps and exclamations of surprise. I quickly looked around and was relieved to see the majority of people smiling and looking pleasantly impressed and excited, my family and Liz’s included.

“This is Andren, Skyy, Cayenne and Terra. And yes, they are Wraeththu.”

Another murmur rose and spread through the crowd.

“They came out here into the wilderness for the same reason we did, to escape the violence. They were here three years before we started building and they kept themselves hidden so as not to frighten us or drive us away. They are a peaceful community just as we are and together, we will have much less to fear and much more to gain.”

Suddenly one man stood up. Everyone got quiet.

“How do we know we can trust them?” he asked.

“I and these responsible community members have been meeting with them for many weeks and have gotten to know them well. We trust them completely. They’ve already proven they mean us no harm, by leaving us in peace for these past years we’ve been here. They want the same things we do, peace and prosperity for both our communities.”

The man sat down but I wasn’t sure he’d been convinced. I guessed some people are slower to trust than others.

“The Wraeththu are going to leave now but they will return tomorrow for another meeting here at one o‘clock. You’ll have a chance to meet and talk with them informally then.”

The hara bowed politely and left. Mr. Harrison officially closed the weekly meeting and everyone stayed speaking animatedly with each other. I left my seat and decided to walk around and hear for myself what the people were saying. As I stood up, I noticed the man who’d asked the question and about 20 others leaving, looking rather indignant, their wives and children slinking off behind, obviously embarrassed.

I sighed. Can’t win them all over, I guess. Actually it was a very small group that was unhappy about the alliance. I figured they’d either get used to the idea or move away.

Everyone else, it seemed was very excited about the prospect of meeting and joining with the Wraeththu. I overheard a woman speaking with one of the women who had been up front with Mr. Harrison.

“I’d like to get a luncheon organized for tomorrow’s meeting.” she paused and then said, “They do eat, don’t they?”

I snickered to myself.

                                              ~~~>>>>***<<<<~~~

The next morning I awoke to the smell of a cake baking. My mother had volunteered to make one for the luncheon meeting. All through breakfast, we talked about the alliance and the Wraeththu. I caught Beck staring suspiciously at me several times out of the corner of my eye. Did she know somehow that I had something to do with it all? That seemed impossible, but she was so intuitive. I thought to myself that it was probably a good thing after all that she couldn’t become har. I’d surely have no secrets then!

“What are you smirking about?” she asked, closing one eye menacingly at me.

I chuckled and shrugged. “Nothing! You’re paranoid,” I said. She shook her head.

We all hung around the house until it was time to go to the meeting. I tried to hide how utterly ecstatic I was. I didn’t want to reveal my secret until the right time. When we got to the meeting house, my mom went over to deliver her cake to the luncheon table and talk with the other women. Josh and Liz came over with their parents and we all sat together like the day before. Finally Mr. Harrison stood up front with several others from our community and spoke after getting our attention. As he was speaking the same four hara joined the people up front.

“Just a short message before we get started on all this delicious looking food,” he said. “The hara are here to meet and greet with you all. Feel free to approach them, get to know them and ask questions.”

He hesitated for a moment. “And now I also want to acknowledge someone who was instrumental in getting the talks started. He was the first person from our community to make contact with the Wraeththu.” Mr. Harrison looked right at me.
“Tom, come up here, please.”

I was so shocked I could hardly get to my feet. My parents and sister looked like they’d have to pick their jaws up off the floor. Liz beamed at me and motioned me to go up. I managed somehow and the next thing I knew, I was up front with Mr. Harrison, listening to the applause. I looked over at the hara who were smiling at me. Andren gave me a wink.

Then something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I looked toward the side door and there was a group of men with guns coming quickly into the building. I heard shots and suddenly everything seemed to be in slow motion. I heard screams and saw people running and diving to the floor. Then everything went black.

                                                                                  ~~~~**> to be continued <**~~~~

oops!

persephone100 — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 14:26:37 GMT

Just a quick apology for my story taking up so much space. I thought I put it under a cut and can't figure out what's wrong. There are only 2 more posts but I'll try to get some help!

The Beckoning of Angels Post 6

persephone100 — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 18:28:28 GMT

The next day, I decided to go fishing alone and try to think. As I was on my way to the river, a thought occurred to me. I could walk past Mr. Harrison’s house to get to the river. If anyone saw me, I was just a kid going fishing, but maybe I’d see Mr. Harrison walking alone or sitting in his yard or something. Then I’d have an opportunity to speak with him with no one else around. But what on earth would I say? I’d have to work on that before putting my plan - lame though it might be - into action.

That day, I didn’t go to my usual spot where I could see the hara. I couldn’t bear to see Cirrus just across the river, yet worlds away from me. I couldn’t do it - not today. I went to a new place and was somewhat heartened by the fact that I caught two large catfish.

I brought them home and we had a really nice dinner. My family all seemed happy. Beck had Josh, Mom and Dad felt safe and like Beck and I had adjusted to living here. I figured I was the only one not satisfied. Oh, I was happy for all my loved ones and I had the friendship of Liz and the wonderful nights we spent with Josh and Beck getting high and all, but there was still an emptiness in me that only becoming har could fill. I tried not to show it, but later when Beck and I went to Josh’s, she questioned me.

“What’s wrong, Tom?” She looked at me with genuine sympathy.

“Nothing, really. I guess maybe it’s hormones or something. I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” I said smiling at her, taking her hand. “I’m sure.”

She smiled back and seemed satisfied with my answer.

We spent another lovely night under the stars getting high. When Josh and Beck left to be alone, as usual, Liz seemed to be scrutinizing me.

“Tom? Are you okay?”

Everyone seemed to be asking me that. I nodded. I knew she realized I was unhappy.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know you can trust me, right?”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just…” I heaved a sigh. I looked into her eyes. “You know I’m in love with someone I can’t be with until…I don’t even know when. It’s just hard, that’s all.”

She hugged me. “Oh, Tom. I wish I could help you.”

“You do. By being my friend and understanding.”

“I wish I could do more.”

I looked at her and smiled. “So do I.”

We laughed and then decided to change the subject.

Later, as I lay alone in bed I realized the only person who could help me was me. I had to speak to Mr. Harrison and get things started. As far as I could see that was my only hope. Needless to say, I had a bit of trouble falling asleep that night.

                                                   ***~~~***

I kept walking past Mr. Harrison’s house every day to get to the river. I was just about to give up on my plan when as I approached his house one sunny afternoon, he was there alone, mending his fence. I stopped in my tracks.

There he was, all by himself in his yard with no one else around! This was my chance! But what would I say?

Suddenly, Andren’s words came back to me. I knew what I would say. I approached him with at least a modicum of confidence, and also a heavy dose of trepidation. I swallowed hard and thinking of Cirrus, became determined. He looked over at me, and much to my relief, gave me a broad, welcoming smile.

“Well, hello,” he said, grinning. “I’ve seen you passing by here a few times with your fishing pole. Have you had any luck?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ve caught some good sized catfish not far from here.”

“Well, good for you!”

He walked over closer to me. “What’s your name, young man?”

“Tom.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Not long - a month or two.”

“Well, nice to meet you. I’m Harry Harrison. People call me Sarge.” He offered his hand. I took it.

“Nice to meet you,” I said.

“Same here.”

I began to sweat and feel at a loss for words, but I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes.

“Something on your mind, son?” he asked.

I nodded.

“I need to speak to you alone.”

He looked around and said, “Well, now’s the time. There’s no one around.” He smiled at me.

“I have something important to tell you. I know I’m just a kid but…” I rubbed my hands over my face.

Mr. Harrison seemed concerned. “Hey, it’s alright,” he said, reassuringly. “Let’s sit down on the porch--”

“No! I…I mean I’d feel more comfortable if we just sat here on the grass.”

“Okay. Whatever you say.”

We sat there on the grass and everything I wanted to say came flowing out. I wondered if Andren was controlling my voice because it came so easily and so correctly. After I was finished, Mr. Harrison sat, seeming to be deeply pondering. Finally he looked up and into my eyes.

“This is wonderful! Another community way out here that we had no knowledge of. To pool our resources, our numbers - to trade and unite ourselves.” He shook his head. “How did they conceal themselves?”

I shrugged.

“Well, no matter. They want to join forces and I can’t think of a better idea.”

Suddenly a thought shot into my head.

“You can’t tell anyone else about this - not until after you meet with their leader, okay?”

He nodded. “Yes. Yes, very wise. I agree.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Where shall we meet?”

“I have to go back to their leader and tell him you’re willing to speak with him. He told me he’d then name a meeting place. I’m to come back to you and tell you where it is. I’ll go see him tomorrow then come by here the next day. I’ll walk back past here to go fishing. We can talk then. Is all this okay with you?”

“Yes, it sounds fine. I’ve got a lot more fence mending to do, so I’ll be outside, looking for you.”

I got up to leave.

“Okay, see you then,” I said.

I decided to go on to my new fishing place, hoping to have something to show for my afternoon. As I sat hoping for a bite, I smiled to myself and began to get excited about Andren and Mr. Harrison getting together. But what I was really happiest about was that I’d get to see Cirrus again.

As luck would have it, I caught a large trout. I hoped it was a good omen.

                                                         ~*~*~*~

The next day as I was getting ready to leave to go fishing, and more importantly meet with Andren, I found myself giddy with good spirits. Today would be the first step to uniting our communities and I’d be one step closer to being har and being with Cirrus. I whistled as I put on my shoes.

“Well, your mood seems to have lightened,” my Mom said as she looked over at me from the kitchen. “Is it because of this Friday?”

I regarded her, puzzled. This Friday? What was this Friday?

“What do you want for your birthday dinner?”

My birthday! I’d completely forgotten!

“Oh, uh, anything’s fine.”

“No! You have to pick, remember?”

“Yeah, ummm…fried chicken.”

“And--?

“Uh, uh…mashed potatoes and green beans.”

“Okay. I’ll bake you a cake, too.”

As I stood up, she walked over to me and gave me a hug.

“I can’t believe you’ll be fifteen.” She pulled back and looked into my eyes.

“I’m sorry there won’t be any real gifts this time. It’s just that way out here--”

“It’s okay, really. I don’t need anything. I’m happy.”

“Going fishing again?”

“Yeah. I like it and there’s really not much else to do. See you later, Mom.”

Once outside, I couldn’t wait to go across the river and speak with Andren and be with Cirrus. I wanted to run the whole way but I had to control myself.

Once I got to the invisible barrier I knew I’d be sensed. Andren came through to get me.

He took me into an embrace.

“Tom, I’m glad to see you. Do you have news?”

“Yes! Good news!”

“Wonderful!”

I took his hand and went through the barrier. As we headed for his and Brinn’s tent, I craned my neck, looking all around for Cirrus. I hoped he’d be at Andren’s. When we walked in and sat down to talk, I was disappointed that Cirrus wasn’t there but I put my mind to the task at hand.

I told Andren all about my meeting with Mr. Harrison: how he thought it was wonderful that there was another community out here, how he was looking forward to meeting with their leader and how he was going to keep it a secret.

Andren listened with great interest. He then decided on a meeting place.

“Bring him down the river on your side, past where we go swimming and walk until you get to an area that looks like a beach. To the right you’ll see a grove of pine trees. I’ll meet him in the center of the grove of trees.”

“Okay. When?”

“Day after tomorrow, just after noon. I’ll be waiting. If that doesn’t suit him come back and tell me, otherwise I’ll see you there.”

I nodded. Just then someone parted the tent flaps and my heart fluttered. It was Brinn and I guess I didn’t hide my disappointment.

Andren smiled at me. “I think Cirrus is swimming by the rocks.”

I’m sure my face lit up.

“Go on, Tom. I’ll see you day after tomorrow.”

“Okay, thanks,” I said hurrying off to find Cirrus.

When I got to the path to the rocks, I heard voices. I guessed several hara were swimming and sunning. When the hara came into view I could see that there were only two of them in the water. One was Cirrus and the other one was a dark-haired har I’d never seen before. They were splashing each other, laughing and playing in the river. I backed off where they couldn’t see me. They’d both go under, then come up laughing. They raced across the river and back. When they returned to this side, they stopped to catch their breath and were talking quietly to each other. I couldn’t watch any more.

I walked behind some bushes and sat on a rock, my head in my hands, thinking. What did I expect? I certainly didn’t think Cirrus would live like a monk until I decided to become har. Of course he’d be with other hara. It was just difficult for me to actually see it. I guessed he’d been so busy with the dark-haired har, he hadn’t even sensed my presence. I’d decided to go home when I looked up to see Cirrus coming toward me. The dark-haired har went on down the path.

“Tom! I didn’t sense you until a few moments ago. What are you doing sitting here?”

“I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Cirrus knelt in front of me and put his chin on my knee, taking my hand in his.

“I was just having a swim with Lienn--”

“You don’t owe me any explanation. It’s okay. I don’t expect you to…I mean, it’s just… Oh God!” I covered my face with my hands. “I’m sorry, Cirrus. I’m sorry.”

He sat next to me and put his arm around me.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, really.” He gently turned my face to his with his slender pale fingers. “Look, we both know that hara need aruna. I have some roon friends but I’m not in love with any of them. We just take aruna. Hara do that. It doesn’t mean anything serious. I like Lienn. That’s all. The harish body needs aruna. My roon friends and I share our bodies and our friendship.” Then he leaned close and whispered in my ear, “But you have my heart.”

I turned and hugged him, burying my face in his chest. He kissed the top of my head.

“Now, tell me about this meeting you’ve helped to arrange.”

After I told him the whole story, we took a walk by a stream and sat under an ancient tree. Cirrus lay back on the grass and I lay with my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart: the heart he said belonged to me. Heaving a sigh of both contentment and yearning, I looked up into the fluttering leaves.

“How old do you think this tree is?” I asked.

“Probably at least a couple hundred years old, I’d say. Did you know that hara are estimated to live between one and two hundred years?”

“For real?!”

“Yes.”

“Wow! How old are you?”

He chuckled. “Well, I’ve been har for about seven years and I was seventeen when I was incepted, so…twenty-four, I guess. I bet you’re about thirteen or fourteen. Am I right?”

I nodded. “Fourteen but my fifteenth birthday is three days away.”

“Really!”

Cirrus seemed to be thinking for a moment.

“Do you think you can get away that day and come see me?”

I’m sure I was grinning from ear to ear.

“Sure! I’ll find a way. It will have to be before dinner. That’s when my family will celebrate my birthday.”

“Good.”

“Why do you want to see me that day in particular?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

I lay back down on his chest, smiling in anticipation. I wanted time to stand still but inevitably the sun moved below the top of the mountains and I knew I had to leave. I sat up and heaved a sigh.

“I guess I’d better go.”

Cirrus sat up and feathered his fingers in my hair.

“Alright my lovely ginger, if you must.”

We stood up and he pulled me to him, and looking into my eyes he kissed me chastely. Then we headed for the place I’d go through the barrier, his hand in mine. After we’d passed through, we stood for a few moments looking into each other’s eyes. I studied his face, wanting to burn it into my memory, even though it was already there. He was so beautiful: his aquamarine eyes, pale skin and white-gold shoulder length hair. I thought he was the fairest creature I’d ever laid eyes on. How could I bear to be away from him?

He must have read my thoughts.

“Someday, Tom, we’ll be together.”

He took my face in his hands and kissed and breathed into me. I didn’t see anything but I felt peace and love permeate my being as our tongues touched and I breathed in all he was giving me. Afterwards, I stood somewhat dazed.

“See you soon,” he said softly as he turned and disappeared into the barrier.

I couldn’t move for a few moments or take my eyes off the empty space where he’d just been. I yearned to be with him but the peace he’d given me gave me strength enough to turn and go home.

                                                                *~*~*~*

The next day I was a bit nervous and couldn’t wait to go fishing so I could go by Mr. Harrison’s and tell him about the meeting place. I knew he wanted to go but I was still so afraid something would mess everything up. It was so important to me.

When I got to his place, he was there like he’d said he’d be, mending his fence. I told him all about the meeting and he asked me to get to his place about 11:30 and that he’d be waiting for me. All that day I was full of hope and anticipation.

That evening when Beck and I went to hang out with Josh and Liz, I decided to tell Liz all about it.

“They‘re really going to meet!” she said excitedly. “You’ve got to tell me what happens.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be invited to the actual meeting but I’m sure Andren will let me know the details.”

We spent the rest of the evening getting high and having a good time. I really needed to relax.

I had some trouble sleeping, but finally drifted off.

                                                        ~*~*~*~*~

The day of the destined meeting I went about business as usual, eating breakfast and doing my chores, trying to look like there was nothing special about the day or my plans. I told everyone I was going fishing and breathed a sigh of relief as my house faded from view behind me. When I got to Mr. Harrison’s yard, he was there waiting for me and we set off toward the meeting place together.

“I really have high hopes for this talk today,” Mr. Harrison said with a smile. “Joining forces with another community can mean a lot of good things for us.”

I smiled back, hoping he’d feel the same way once he realized he’d be meeting with a Wraeththu leader! Suddenly I began to sweat and get scared. What if he got angry and refused to talk with Andren? What if he felt tricked and got mad at Andren and me for our ‘deception’?

“Tom? Are you alright?”

I looked at him, trying to appear calm. “Yeah. Sure, I’m okay.”

We soon approached the sandy area and as we walked toward the pine grove I said, “Here we are. He wants to meet in that grove of trees.”

Mr. Harrison looked around expectantly. Suddenly Andren stepped out of the pines. Mr. Harrison stared at him for a moment, then turned to me, an expression of total surprise and a bit of confusion on his face. I froze and held my breath. Mr. Harrison then turned and walked toward Andren, who smiled serenely and held out his hand in welcome. Mr. Harrison took it and I was able to breathe again.

“Why don’t you wait over by the water, Tom,” Andren said.

I nodded like an android and walked numbly over to the river and sat on a rock. I felt faint, but slowly I stopped trembling and started to relax. Mr. Harrison didn’t walk away. He didn’t get angry. He was speaking with Andren right now! I began to get hopeful.

Quite a bit of time passed until I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to see Mr. Harrison. I looked for Andren but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Well, Tom, I’m ready to go.”

I got up feeling apprehensive and we walked silently for a while. All kinds of things were racing through my mind. Mr. Harrison smiled over at me.

“That was quite a little secret you kept from me.”

“I…I’m sorry. We… Andren thought--”

He chuckled, much to my relief. “It’s okay, Tom. But why didn’t you tell me I’d be meeting with a Wraeththu?”

“Would you have met with him if you’d known?”

“We’ll never know, will we?” he said.

Later when we got to Mr. Harrison’s yard, he said, “I’m glad Andren and I talked. I always suspected they couldn’t all be bad. His people want the same things we want and there would be a lot of advantages to joining forces with such powerful beings. We’re going to meet again in two days.”

“Really?!” I blurted. “That’s great!”

“We’ll meet at the same place and time. I won’t need you to come with me but I promise to keep you informed. And this is to be kept in strictest confidence, at least for now.”

“Yes. Yes, I agree completely! And thanks! Thanks, Mr. Harrison!”

He chuckled. “See you, Tom.”

I could hardly contain my excitement. If things went well that meant our people would unite and I could be with Cirrus and become har and…I had to get hold of myself. This could still take a while and no matter how long it took, it would seem like forever to me. But it was a start.

                                                                    <***~ to be continued ~***>

The Beckoning of Angels Post 5

persephone100 — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:27:28 GMT

The next day at breakfast, Beck still had the warm glow and secret smile she’d had the night before. When our parents weren’t listening I asked, “Are you going to tell Mom and Dad about you and Josh?”

She looked around and then answered, “I’m not sure. I think they’ll be happy on one level, but I’m afraid they’ll think we’re too young and be apprehensive about it. What do you think, Tom?”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure. I know they like Josh. I’d just feel them out and take it slow.”

Beck nodded, giving me a smile. Then our parents came back to the table.

“What are you kids going to do today?” our Mom asked.

“I’m going to Josh’s,” Beck said.

“Liz is going fishing with me,” I offered.

“Good!” my Dad said. “I hope you catch something good for dinner.”

“I’ll try my best,” I said with a smile.

With our plans in place for the day, I hoped it would afford me some time alone with Liz to confide my deepest secret to her. I really needed to tell her everything and this seemed the perfect opportunity to do so.

After lunch, Beck and I headed for Josh and Liz’s house. Beck stayed there with Josh and Liz and I walked to the river to fish, but more importantly, to talk. I led us farther down the riverbank than usual, wanting to be far enough away that no one would bother us. We sat on a sandy part of the shore and I cast my line into the river. We sat in silence for a while and I knew Liz was waiting for me to speak, as she looked at me intermittently as I stared across the river. Finally, I knew it was time to let her in on my deepest, most private and treasured secret. I wedged my fishing pole between some rocks and turned my full attention to Liz, who waited expectantly. I took a deep breath.

“What I’m going to tell you has to be in the most complete confidence. I have to trust someone and I want it to be you. I believe I can trust you completely not to tell a soul what I’m gong to reveal to you.”

She looked earnestly into my eyes. “You can trust me, Tom. You can, I promise you.”

I looked away, my heart racing, still wondering if I was doing the right thing. Then determinedly, I looked back into her eyes and saw that I wasn’t misplacing my trust. I relaxed a bit and began my tale.

“You know I’ve been coming to the river to see the angels ever since my first glimpse of them.”

She nodded.

“Well, not too long ago one of them came to our side of the river to fish and spoke to me.”

She covered her mouth with her hands, looking amazed. “One of them spoke to you? An angel?” she asked, astonished.

I nodded. “But there’s more - a lot more. I thought they were angels, too, but they’re not. They’re…they’re…” I was afraid to say it. “They’re Wraeththu.”

She stared at me, wide-eyed. “Wraeththu?” she whispered, unbelieving.

I nodded in affirmation. “Yes. They also call themselves ‘hara’ and they came here to escape the violence that has broken out in the world the same as our people have. Andren told me that they aren’t all violent, just as all humans aren’t violent. They were here three years before we came here. They concealed themselves because they knew our people would be afraid of them.”

“Andren?” she asked, somewhat confused.

“Yeah, that was the name of the har who spoke to me.”

“How did they conceal themselves from us?”

“They have psychic powers, way beyond what any human could imagine. But these Wraeththu are peaceful and even think that maybe our communities could knowingly coexist in harmony with each other.”

Liz looked across the river and was silent for a time. Finally, she looked back at me, blinking, her expression one of awe.

“Oh, my God,” she said reverently and with a smile. “This is monumental. That we could interact…be allies…have a relationship with such beautiful beings…it’s …astonishing, mind boggling…immense!” She looked to me with excitement.

I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed her into a hug and said, “I knew I could tell you. I knew you’d understand.”

We held each other a few moments and then let each other go.

Liz looked down at the ground, her cheeks flushed, then she looked back into my eyes.

“I do understand and I’m so, so happy you trust me enough to confide something like this to me.”

“I felt I had to tell someone and Andren told me I should find a confidant. I knew it had to be you.”

“I’m honored, Tom but, I have to ask. Why me instead of Beck? I know you two are close.”

I heaved a sigh and looked out over the water.

“There’s much more I need to tell you. There are things I feel I need to keep secret from my parents and I was afraid Beck would feel compelled to tell them. I trust that you won’t do that. Am I right?”

I looked back at her. “If you can’t promise that, I’ll understand and keep the rest to myself for now.”

She hesitated for just a moment and then answered, “I can promise that, Tom, really. I can and I do.”

I smiled, relieved, totally believing and trusting in her.

I launched into completely baring my soul about everything: how Andren invited me to the other side of the river, the beauty of their settlement, how they hunt, how they protect themselves, how they’d like to have a peaceful relationship with us. Liz listened in stunned awe as I told her all about the beautiful beings. Then I had to tell her some things that were very personal. I wasn’t sure if I should. But, ultimately, these very private things were what I most needed to confide in someone. I’m sure my face turned red. I could feel the heat in my skin.

“Wow,” Liz said, softly. “This is all so…” She shook her head.

“Yeah, I know, but…”

“There’s something more personal, more intimate, isn’t there?”

I nodded. She could read me almost as accurately as Beck could. I surmised from that that I was pretty much an open book.

“Andren told me that our people would be afraid that they would kidnap our young men and boys and turn them into what they were. That’s what people have come to believe and, unfortunately, that has happened before. He then assured me that his hara would never do that, that our males would be free to decide whether they want to become one of them or not.” Here, I hesitated, not sure what to say next. Liz spoke quietly.

“You mean, you could become one of them if you wanted to?”

I nodded.

“And you do want to, don’t you?”

I covered my face with my hands, holding back tears and nodded.”

Liz put a comforting arm around me as we sat wordlessly while I tried to stop tears from rolling down my cheeks.

She pulled back and looked into my eyes, her own sparkling with unshed tears.

“I don’t know what to say except that my intuition tells me that you have to follow your heart on this. If you truly believe it’s your destiny to become one of them, then you have to.”

She hugged me closer, I believe knowing that if I did as my heart told me, my family would be anguished and distressed.

She smiled and whispered to me, “Could I become one of them?”

I shook my head. “I was pretty devastated to find out that no female can become Wraeththu. It’s been attempted and every girl has died. Only males between the age of maybe thirteen and about twenty-five can withstand the change. I asked Andren about females becoming Wraeththu and that’s what he told me. I’m sorry.”

She sighed, resignedly.

“There’s so much more I want to tell you, but I feel so drained, like I can’t think any more.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “We’ll talk again. Let’s get our feet wet, collect ourselves and then go back,” Liz said gently, running her hands through my hair. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world to have her friendship.

When we got back to my house, I said goodbye to Liz, promising to come over later, with Beck, after dinner.

All through dinner, I just wanted to think. I knew I was being more quiet than usual and didn’t want anyone to suspect anything, so I got myself together and joined in the conversation. After dinner, Beck and I left and walked to Josh and Liz’s.

“You were a bit quiet at first tonight at dinner,” Beck said. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Sorry if I seemed preoccupied.”

She eyed me for a moment but we’d reached Josh’s house and he and Liz were waiting for us on their porch, so Beck’s concern turned to joy as she ran to Josh’s arms. We headed for the river, as usual, and since it was a very warm night, we sat close to the water and dangled our feet in, cooling off. We smoked Josh’s homegrown pot as usual and enjoyed the balmy night, the mellow feeling and each other’s company.

Then as always, Josh and Beck left to be alone, leaving Liz and I on the river’s shore. I looked over at her and she smiled at me knowingly. I figured the time had come for me to reveal the most intimate part of my secrets. I took a deep breath and looked into her waiting eyes.

“I think it’s time I told you some things. Some very personal things.”

She put her hand on mine, wordlessly.

“I know I can trust you.”

She nodded.

“I…I’ve never felt attracted to any person before, but I find that--” I stopped, feeling a little embarrassed to go on. She squeezed my hand, encouraging me.

“One of them took me swimming and I found that I…”

“You don’t have to say any more,” she said gently. “I understand. You like one of them, more than just as a novelty or…” She sighed and looked into my eyes. “Don’t be embarrassed. They’re gorgeous. I’m attracted to them, too. But for you, it’s real. You can join them. You have the opportunity to do more than just admire them from afar. And maybe you’ll find true love on the other side of the river,” she said, grinning. I had to chuckle.

“Well, I don’t know about that but I know I have to join them. It’s like some irresistible pull, some calling I can’t ignore.” I put my face in my hands and rubbed my eyes.

She put her arm around me. “Don’t worry. I know that’s easy for me to say, but truthfully, I’ll help you in any way I can. I’ll even lie and cover for you if it will help.”

I looked gratefully into her eyes. “I hope you know how much being able to confide in you and trust you means to me.”

She smiled. “Let’s get ripped.”

I laughed, relieved and we smoked until Josh and Beck returned.

                                                                     *~*~*~*

We kept up our usual routine of doing our chores, being with our families and spending the evenings together getting high and enjoying each other’s company. But after four or five days, I began to feel the pull, the need to be with the hara across the river. This time I decided to go alone. I had something I needed to talk to Andren about.

I crossed the river as always and headed for the rocks, turning and following the path to their settlement. I couldn’t see it but assumed somehar would sense my prescence and appear to me. After several moments, I saw a rift in the air and to my surprise and delight, Cirrus walked toward me. My heart leapt.

“The border guard told me it was you and I wanted to come and meet you.”

“I’m glad you did.”

He took my hand and led us into the camouflaged settlement. I felt a prickle, like a static shock when we passed through the barrier. It didn’t seem to have affected Cirrus. He looked at me.

“You’ve come to talk to Andren, haven’t you?”

I nodded, knowing full well how he knew that.

“It’s about--”

“You don’t have to tell me,” he interrupted.

I was about to protest, to tell him I held no secrets from him when we arrived at Andren and Brinn’s.

“Andren’s been informed of your arrival. Go ahead.” He smiled.

“After I talk to him can I…can we, I mean…”

“Yes,” he said with a lovely smile. “We can talk. See you later.”

I sighed as he walked away. Then I purposefully entered Andren’s tent.

He walked toward me, smiling. “Well, hello Tom. I’m happy to see you again.” He took both my hands and I blushed profusely.

“Come. Sit down and have some wine.”

I followed him to a small table and sat across from him. He took a bottle and filled two glasses.

“I’m glad you’ve come,” he said as he settled back into his chair. A few moments passed while we drank.

“Obviously there’s something on your mind, Tom,” he said, gently.

I nodded. “Yes, yes there is.”

I looked into his eyes. “I really want our two cultures to have a friendly relationship. I know you know that, but I’ve come to hear what exactly we could do to that end. I mean, I know not all of you agree on this, but is there some way you could meet with some of us or something? We have to start somewhere. If your people are still against it, I understand and I’ll just go home and wait, but…” I covered my face with my hands.

Andren moved closer and put his arm around me. “I agree with you, Tom. The time has come to start the communication between our races and settlements. There are so many advantages to both our cultures to do so. The vast majority of us agree with this thinking. There are only a few of us who still resist the idea. I tried to tell them that if our meeting doesn’t work out, we can still hide ourselves. We can still go back to the way we are now. That convinced almost all of our hara that this was worth a try.”

I looked hopefully at him.

“I have a proposition for you,” he stated.

I regarded him, guarded enthusiasm consuming my being.

“Do your people have a leader? Someone who orchestrates activities, leads meetings, organizes things? Someone others come to for guidance and such?”

I thought a moment. Then came the answer.

“Yeah! Mr. Harrison! He designed the place. He leads the meetings the men go to and the ones we all attend. He controls the guns and ammo and stuff like that. They call him ‘Sarge’ because he served in the military. He seems like a decent, down to earth guy.”

“Hmmm,” Andren said, seeming deep in thought. He looked up at me, purpose in his eyes. I got a little intimidated.

“I mean, I don’t know him at all but he’s not a religious fanatic or anything like that. Even our preacher isn’t a jerk like the one we had in the city. Maybe…”

“If you’re up to the challenge, I’d like you to arrange a meeting between this ‘Mr. Harrison’ and myself. I’ll have to count on you to approach him clandestinely and speak to him. I’d like you to say that there’s another community close by that is interested in joining forces with his. That we want to trade, protect each other and work together for the good of both our settlements. Just leave out the part that we’re Wraeththu. He’ll find that out when we meet. He and I will take it from there. Can you do that?”

I just stared at him, overwhelmed. How could I? I’d never even met the man face to face. Then I realized no one else could do this. It had to be me. I had to find a way. The futures of both our settlements depended on it - my personal future depended on it. Without having a clue as to how I could make this meeting come about, I answered.

“Yes. I’ll do it. I’ll find a way.”

Andren smiled. “I believe you will, Tom. There’s no hurry. Think it over. When you’ve told him what we discussed, come back here and I’ll choose a meeting place. Then you’ll go back and tell him where it is and when to be there. If he agrees, come back and tell me and things will get under way, okay?”

I nodded my agreement, my mind reeling from all I’d been told and all I was assigned to do. It really was all up to me--me, a complete and utter nobody! How was I going to meet with Mr Harrison without anyone else knowing? Maybe the fact that I was just a kid could help me. I, at least, knew where he lived and he seemed to be a friendly sort. A million thoughts swirled in my mind.

“Tom? Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure. It’s just a lot to think about.”

Andren patted me on the back. “Someone’s waiting outside for you,” he said softly into my ear with a smile.

I nodded and left his tent. There I found Cirrus, a beautiful smile on his lovely face. It seemed almost unreal that the smile he wore so graciously was for me. God, he was gorgeous!

“Come on, ginger boy. Take a walk with me.”

He offered his hand and I took it. I felt butterflies in my stomach as my heart beat faster. We walked to a rock ledge and sat down crossed-legged next to each other, our joined hands on my knee. I wanted him to take me into his arms and show me the meaning of pleasure. How ridiculous! I knew we could never do much of anything unless I became har. He must have sensed my frustration. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it, causing me to look into his eyes.

“Tom, I don’t mean to make you feel bad by being close to you. It’s the same for me. I want you. I want to be with you and I know it’s impossible unless you become Wraeththu.”

I grabbed him into an embrace.

“God! I feel the same way. But how? What can I--?”

Then the tears came.

“Shh, shhh, don’t cry. It will happen. I know it. It just has to.”

He pulled back and looked into my eyes. Wiping my tears away he said, “I’ll wait as long as I have to. I know you’ll be Wraeththu. I’m sure it will happen. I’m in no hurry. I’ll wait for you, my crimson-haired beauty. I’ll wait for you,” he said as he drew me to him. I clasped him as if my life depended on it because I was beginning to believe that it did.

We stayed there for a while holding each other. I knew it wasn’t enough but it was all we had for who knew how long. How was I going to stand it? I’d never wanted anyone before. Now I couldn’t bear to be away from Cirrus, yet being with him only made the torture of not really being with him that much more acute. What was to become of us?

“Tom,” Cirrus said. “I know Andren wants us to unite our two communities. When that happens, you’ll be free to become one of us. I don’t want you to betray any of your human bonds, but even if this plan doesn’t work out, promise me you’ll try to think of a way you can become har. I think about you all the time. I…”

“Oh, God,” I breathed. “Me, too. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t return home tonight. I’d stay here and become one of you. But…”

“I know. I understand. Let’s hope it works out for all our good.”

I nodded into his chest, holding back my tears.

When I finally had to return home, it was very hard to say goodbye to Cirrus. I concluded that I was in love with him even though we were different species and couldn’t be together until I became one of them and there was no way to tell how long that would be. I took consolation in the fact that he returned my feelings, but what could we do about it? I began to feel like we were hopeless star-crossed lovers, only we hadn’t even had the luxury of being lovers yet!

We hugged goodbye after we’d passed through the invisible barrier and he kissed me. I saw smoky images as our tongues touched and he breathed into me but I knew I could only really connect with him if I was har. It was lovely and I looked so forward to our really being able to be together - to be as one - someday...

He waved just before he disappeared through the barrier and an all-encompassing lonliness permeated my being and wrenched my heart.

Turning away, I heaved a sigh and made my way back to our compound. On the way I tried to formulate some sort of plan to meet Mr. Harrison secretly. But how? I racked my brain until I got to the other side of the river and then decided to put my thoughts on hold as I headed home for dinner.

                                                                          ~~*~ to be continued ~*~~

The Beckoning of Angels Post 4

persephone100 — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:12:04 GMT

The next few days, everything went along as usual. I was dying to go to the rocks and meet Andren, but I felt like I had to wait, like I had to pretend nothing was out of the ordinary. Even Beck couldn’t know that I was meeting Andren again. Finally on the fourth day of my waiting, Beck said she and Josh were going horseback riding. I said I’d see her later and without hesitation, headed for the ford in the river. It was a little past noon and I hoped I wouldn’t be too late to meet Andren at the rocks. I ran the whole way and when I got there, he was waiting, sunning himself on the rocks. I was out of breath when I reached him. He turned to me.

“Well, hello.” He then looked concerned. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” I said a bit out of breath. “I thought I might be too late to find you. I had to wait for a good opportunity to get away.”

He rose and came toward me, smiling. “I’m glad you made it. Let’s rest here awhile and then I’ll show you our community.”

As we sat together on the rocks, I couldn’t help staring at him. He looked over at me and smiled.

“I…I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t mean to stare, it’s just… I can’t help it.”

“It’s quite alright,” he said, grinning. “I’m flattered.”

“Well, you should be. You’re beautiful. You’re all beautiful. I can hardly believe it. I’m…I’m overwhelmed.”

Andren moved closer to me and picked up my hand in his.

“My beautiful boy, you’re meant to be har, I can sense it. And whatever happens, it will come to pass. Mark my words.”

He gave me a beautiful, encouraging smile and I felt peace enter my soul. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. We stayed that way for a time and then I heard Andren’s voice.

“Let me show you our commune.”

I nodded, eager to learn of their ways.

Andren led me through the trees and down a well-worn path for quite a few minutes. Soon we entered a clearing and I stopped short. There before me were many beautifully colored tents and some wooden dwellings. There were cleared paths and exquisite flowers and plants decorating the many dwellings. These weren’t regular tents, they were multi colored pavilions. It was lavish and lovely. It made our community of modular homes look primitive by comparison. I’m sure I stared like a moron. Andren spoke.

“I was going to ask you what you thought, but I see that you approve. Am I right?”

“Approve?” I looked at him, unbelieving. “Hell, yeah, I approve! This is…is…wonderful, like something out of a fantasy! I don’t even know what to say.”

He laughed. “Well, then. I’ll take that as a compliment. Come on, there’s more to show you.”

More? How much more could there be?

Andren showed me more dwellings, their livestock, their gardens, their fruit and nut trees, their archery practice area and then he asked me back to the tent he shared with his lover, his chesnari.

It was a lovely tent pavilion with many rooms and he bade me to sit down at low table on some pillows while he prepared some refreshments. He left the area and I looked all around me, taking in my surroundings. This place was beautiful, like something out of a dream. I could hardly believe it. Soon, Andren returned. He set some food and drinks on the low table and sat with me.

“Here,” he said. “Please have some sustenance.”

He’d placed cheese, fruit and nuts on a platter and poured us each a glass of something.

I helped myself to the tasty fare and also availed myself of the wine. I smiled widely at Andren.

“I’m guessing you’re not allowed to drink at your age.”

I shook my head, my mouth full. “No, but my sister’s boyfriend has a crop of weed by the river.” Then, I’m sure I went pale. Oh, God, I told!

Andren laughed. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”

“Thanks. I swore I’d never tell a soul--”

“And you haven’t,” he said with a wink.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I truly believed him.

After we’d shared some food and drink, I still had a few questions for him.

“Andren?” I ventured, tentatively.

“Yes,” he said with a friendly smile.

“You said that boys and young men can become har. What about girls, females?”

He shook his head. “Not possible. It’s been tried and every female has died. For some reason, it just can’t be.”

I was disappointed. I could imagine Beck being an awesome har. And I wanted her to be with me. I was quiet.

“I know,” Andren said. “You have a sister and you’re close to her, am I right?”

I nodded.

He sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just the way things are.”

“I understand,” I replied, very disheartened.

He moved closer. “You know, if our respective communities can come to an agreement and friendly relationship, there’s no reason you can’t see your sister and your family on a regular basis, even though you’re har and they’re human. I believe this can be a reality, and so do many of us.”

I looked to him hopefully. “Really?”

“Yes,” he said, putting an encouraging arm around me and looking into my eyes. “Yes.”
I wanted to believe him, and looking into his intense, deep, blue-green eyes, I believed that I could.

“I want to show you something,” he said. “I want to give you a taste of what it is to be har.”

I looked intently at him, not knowing what to expect, but feeling what was coming was something delectable.

“Will you let me kiss you?”

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I nodded, feeling more excited and scared than I’d ever been in my life.

Andren took me into his arms, pressed his lips to mine, gently and I reciprocated, melting into his embrace. He gently slid his tongue over mine as we kissed. I was in another world. He somehow breathed images into me. They were murky, and nondescript but mesmerizing. I totally surrendered to him, wanting whatever this was never to end. He finally pulled away from me, leaving me breathless and weak.

I opened my eyes and looked into his, wondering what he’d done to me.

“When you’re har,” he said. “That will be only the beginning.”

I looked into his amazing eyes, blinking and feeling overwhelmed.

“We call it sharing breath and it’s a kiss but more. Being human, you can only see darkly, but if you become har, the images will be clear, colorful and beautiful. And you’ll be able to send images, too. It will come naturally.”

I was left speechless. I shook my head.

“I know. It’s all a bit much to process.”

A bit much? It was overpowering, all encompassing. It was almost like the dream I’d had.

“How…how will I stand it?” It was all I could say. Andren chuckled.

“When you’re har, it will be different.”

I just blinked, shaking my head as Andren smiled at me.

“Look, I know this is overwhelming to a human boy. We’ve all been where you are in one way or another. Even though we all come from different backgrounds and different points of view, in the end, those of us who were meant to be har answered the inner summons. You will, too. It may take some time because I know you have conflicts, but I think, eventually, when all is said and done, it will ultimately happen.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

He chuckled. “Come on,” he said. “I want to show you something.”

He led me up a long path until we got to high ground, then we came to a clearing and he pointed out in the direction of our commune.

“Do you see?” he said, smiling. “You can see our two communities from here. From this vantage point, it doesn’t look like we’re strangers to each other.” He smiled, looking at the ground. “I’ve been called an idealist, a dreamer and quite a few other things, but…” He looked me in the eye. “But I‘m not giving up on my hopes for a peaceful future.”

All I could do was smile at him wistfully. Then a question entered my mind.

“How have you kept yourselves from being discovered?”

“Like I told you, we can sense anyone approaching then we can use our collective powers to shield ourselves. We can place a protective net of power around our entire community.”

“You mean you can make yourselves invisible?”

He laughed. “No. It’s more like we make ourselves seem invisible to a human mind. It’s hard to put into words. We can also make our place appear like an impassible part of the forest so the would-be intruders go around it.”

“Wow! Can all hara do that?”

“With training and practice, yes.”

I just shook my head.

We sat there for a while, taking in the view and, I’m sure, daydreaming about the possibilities of our races getting along. Before long Andren sighed and said, “Let’s go back. We’ll be going to the river. You can come along if you want.”

I nodded eagerly.

As we made our way to the rocks by the river, I still felt as if I was in a dream. I’m actually walking with them, talking with them. The creatures I thought I could only admire from afar and dream about. It was surreal.

When we finally got there, the hara went about their usual business of eating, drinking, conversing and skinny-dipping.

Andren, Brinn, Cirrus and I all sat together.

“How about a swim?” Cirrus suggested to me.

I stared at him wide-eyed.

“Uh…uh…well, I…”

What could I say? They were all so magnificent and well endowed with something so far beyond what humans had. I felt like an ugly duckling in the presence of breathtaking swans.

Cirrus put his hand on my knee.

“Don’t feel intimidated,” he said gently. “We think you’re beautiful.”

“But I…I can’t show myself. I…”

“If you’re modest, leave your pants on. Come on! Swim with me, ginger boy!”

I couldn’t resist the beckoning of Cirrus’s cerulean eyes.

I took my shirt and shoes off and he took my hand and led me to the river’s edge. We waded in and began to swim. I started to relax and enjoy myself.

“Come here!” Cirrus called. “Keep your legs stiff and I’ll give you a boost.”

I did as he said and he ducked under and pushed off the bottom to thrust me up into the air. The first time he took me by surprise and I belly flopped into the water, then I got the idea. As he thrust me upwards, I dove back into the water. It was so much fun! We kept it up for quite some time, and then I got tired.

“Do you need a rest?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess I do. But it was really fun! Really!”

He swam over to me and said, “Grab onto my shoulders.”

I had no idea what was going on but I did as he’d suggested. He swam up the river, me holding on to him. Didn’t they ever get tired? I thought to myself.

It was magical. All I had to do was to hold on to him. He swam quickly, strongly and smoothly through the water for quite a while. I saw turtles sunning themselves on logs, muskrats swimming and playing together, dragonflies dipping and hovering over the water. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. After a while, Cirrus swam over to the shore. I didn’t know how far we’d gone from the rocks. He helped me out onto the riverbank and we sat together. I couldn’t help stealing glances at his naked body. I decided to control myself and stare across the river.

“I hope you’re still considering becoming har,” he said, looking expectantly into my eyes.

For some reason, I felt my face grow hot, but then, looking away, I answered.

“Yes, I am. I know it’s my destiny, but I’m not sure how or when it can be.”

“If it’s meant to be, and I’m sure it is, it will happen.”

I looked up and into his sky blue eyes.

“Did Andren share breath with you?”

I nodded, mesmerized.

“May I?”

I nodded again, lost in anticipation.

Cirrus put his lips to mine as I very willingly reciprocated. Soon, he ran his tongue over mine and I swear I tasted something spicy as I saw smoky swirlings of dark murky green and grey. I began to feel something else that both excited and embarrassed me. I felt myself desire him. I quickly pulled away, afraid of the unfamiliar yearnings. I looked into Cirrus’s eyes.

“Yes,” he said, grinning at me. “You are SO meant to be har. Come, my beautiful boy. Hold on to me and I’ll swim us back.”

We moved wordlessly into the water and he swam me back just as he’d swum me away from the group. I held onto him, resting my head on his shoulders and wanting to kiss him and caress him. I didn’t dare do so, feeling afraid.

I was actually sorry when we returned to the rocks where the other hara were. There was a part of me that wanted to, to…I wasn’t sure what, but when Cirrus and I joined the others and he left me with a smile, I felt like I missed him already. I rubbed my hands over my face and heard Andren’s voice.

“Are you okay? Is anything wrong?”

I looked over at him. “No, no, I’m fine. It’s just been a…a full day.”

Andren gave me an understanding smile.

Finally the time had come for me to return to my side of the river, although I already knew that ultimately I’d someday return to the Wraeththu side for good.

Andren took me away from the others.

“I feel for you, Tom. I know you’re torn. I believe you have to follow your heart and soul on this and that eventually everything will fall into place. I know that sounds like a bunch of platitudes, but I really feel it. It won’t be a walk in the park but I believe you’re meant to follow that deep yearning and let everything else be as it will be.”

I nodded. “I know I feel the call and after today...well, I wish I didn’t have to leave here.” I faltered, tears filling my eyes. “I just have to work it out.” I felt I would lose it and break down. I took a deep breath.

“Take your time, think about things,” Andren said. “And know you can come to us any time you want to. We’ll be here.”

I smiled, and then walked away.

“Tom!” Andren called.

I turned to him.

“Come back soon.”

I nodded and then headed off for home.

I waded back across the river and after I’d put my shoes back on, I sat for a while. I had to get myself together before joining my family. I drew up my knees, crossed my arms and laid my head on them. So much had happened today. I’d felt such internal longings. I yearned to be one of them, but I was only fourteen. I couldn’t leave my family. They’d never understand. And then there was the problem of our people finding out about the hara on the other side of the river. It might as well have been on the other side of the planet. I felt our cultures were that far apart. As I pondered all these thoughts, I couldn’t hold back. I began to cry. I felt hopeless. There was just no way this could happen without people and maybe even hara getting hurt. I felt desperately wretched and cried my heart out. Finally, I wiped my tears away and realized I had to go home. How would I hide my feelings and fears? I was sure Beck would know immediately. Maybe I should confide everything in her. But what if she told our parents? I couldn’t take that chance. I’d just have to be strong and put up a front. Unfortunately, I wasn’t good at pretending. I’d always been someone who couldn’t and usually didn’t hide my true feelings.

I heaved a sigh, got to my feet and reluctantly headed for home. Suddenly I felt a voice in my head. At first it shocked and frightened me. Then I relaxed.

I felt, or rather sensed it was Andren’s voice in my mind. I didn’t know how to answer him so I closed my eyes and waited.

I know you can’t answer me, but I’ve felt your anguish. Please be at peace. Just return to your family as if nothing happened. You can do that, I know. Confide in someone if that will help you. It will all work out eventually. Feel and receive the peace I’m sending you. And please come back to us. We can help you. I hope I see you soon.

When I opened my eyes, I felt an all-encompassing peace. Andren’s words in my mind had given me courage and comfort. I felt like I had nothing to hide. I could return home reassured and feeling like myself. I wish I knew how to thank Andren. I guessed I would when I saw him again.

I headed for home, confident that even if Beck could tell that something transpired between the “angels” and me today, I could handle it and keep my secret.

I came into our house to find Beck sitting and reading and the smell of something delicious cooking.

“Mmmm,” I said. “What’s Mom cooking?”

Beck looked up from her book.

“Chicken and dumplings,” she said, scrutinizing me.

“Hope it’s done soon,” I said, sitting next to her and relaxing on the couch. She regarded me with suspicion.

“What did you do today?” I asked her.

“Hung out with Josh. What did you do?”

I shrugged. “Went to the river.”

“Did Andren come over and speak with you?

“No, not today.”

To my surprise, she went back to her reading. I guessed Andren’s peace had really entered my being.

We had dinner and afterwards, Beck and I headed for Josh and Liz’s. Beck looked at me sideways a few times, but I just returned her looks with a serene smile. After retrieving Josh’s stash, we headed for the rocks as usual. Overhead, an infinitely star studded sky greeted us.

“Wow,” I said. “This is awesomely beautiful!”

“Yeah,” Liz added. “The stars seem so numerous out here. It always amazes me.”

We all sat for a while, smoking, talking and enjoying the vast array of heavenly bodies above us. A bit later, Josh and Beck left to be together, as usual, and Liz and I were alone.

She looked over at me and smiled. “Have you seen the angels again?” she asked, innocent hope in her eyes.

I blinked, staring at her for a moment. I started to say “no,” to lie to her, but something else took over my thoughts. I remembered Andren telling me to confide in someone, that it would help me. But I always thought that Beck would be the one. Now I found myself deciding to confide in Liz. Liz wouldn’t tell my parents about my plans to become har. She’d be the one to bare my soul to. But should I? I began truly to feel like I should, but not here, not now.

“Yeah,” I answered. “Yeah, I did.”

She smiled. “I can’t get them out of my mind. I’m so…enamored of them. I know they’re ethereal, heavenly beings, but they’re so beautiful…so beautiful.”

“Yeah, I feel the same way.”

She gave me an understanding smile and then changed the subject.

“I think Josh and Beck are in love,” she said.

“Yeah, I think so, too,” I answered.

“Do you think that’s good?”

“Yes,” I said, looking into her eyes. “I think that’s very good.”

“So do I,” she said with a genuine smile. “I really like Beck and I can tell Josh has feelings for her he’s never had for a girl before. If they really get together and get married some day, that’ll make us family. You and I would be brother and sister-in-law.”

“That’d be awesome,” I said, really meaning it.

“Yeah, it would,” Liz said hugging her knees and staring up at the starry night sky.

“Liz?” I ventured, unsure.

“Yes?” she answered, looking puzzled.

I took a deep breath, glanced away, and then looked back into her eyes as she sat, appearing like she knew something prodigious was about to be revealed.

“There’s…there’s something I want to tell you. I really need to confide in someone. I…I want it to be you.”

She placed an encouraging hand on my arm, smiling. “You can tell me anything. I promise to keep it secret if that’s what you want.”

I nodded. “Yes, that’s what I want. I’m afraid Josh and Beck will come back tonight before I can tell you everything. I need to speak to you alone. How about us getting together tomorrow to go fishing at the river? That should work.”

“Okay. Just come and get me when you’re ready.”

I nodded. We sat in silence, gazing at the dome of vast twinkling diamonds above us. To my surprise, Liz took my hand and gave me a comforting smile. I squeezed her hand, grateful to have her as a friend and confidant.

Soon after, Josh and Beck returned and sat with us. They both had a strange but elated glow about them. Beck looked at Liz and then me and spoke.

“Josh and I just officially became a couple,” Beck said smiling and taking Josh’s hand. “We declared our love for each other and our desire to be together…indefinitely.”

Josh kissed her.

Liz and I smiled at each other.

“That’s great!” I said.

“Yeah, really great,” Liz added, patting Josh on the back.

“We both just never felt this way about anyone before,” Josh said, looking lovingly at my sister.

“Let’s celebrate!” Liz enthused.

We broke out the pipe and had a high time, celebrating.

Finally, it was time for us to go home. I could tell that night it was especially hard for Josh and Beck to part. They took quite a while saying goodnight to each other.

“I hope it works out for us to go to the river tomorrow,” Liz said.

“Yeah, me, too. I’ll come over some time after lunch, okay?”

“Sure, that’ll be fine.”

As Beck and I walked home, I regarded her. She looked serene and happy.

“I’m really happy for you and Josh,” I said.

“Thanks, Tom.” She sighed. “I’m really completely in love with him.”

I immediately thought about Cirrus and how, since our swim and kiss, he’d taken up almost constant residence in my thoughts.

“Yeah, it’s really beautiful, isn’t it?”

She gave me a perplexed look. “Yeah, but…how would you know?”

I’m sure I turned red. “I…I don’t. I just imagine it’s really the best, you know, to feel that way about someone who returns your feelings.”

She held my gaze with her puzzled expression and then finally smiled, looking up at the stars and said, “Yes, it’s beautiful, like nothing else in the world.”

We giggled and ran the rest of the way home.

<><>** to be continued **<><><>

The Beckoning of Angels Post 3

persephone100 — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 15:21:27 GMT

I finally set off for home, still in a daze from my encounter with the incredible Andren. I reached our house and went in where my Mom said, “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” I went to my room and sat on my bed, still reeling from my experience at the river. I heard the front door open and assumed Beck had returned home for dinner. I soon heard a knock on my door.

“Yeah?” I responded.

Beck came into my room and plopped herself down next to me on my bed.

“What have you been up to, brother of mine?”

“I went fishing at the river.”

Did you catch anything?”

“Umm, uh, no. No, I didn’t”

Beck scrutinized me. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. What do you mean?”

“You look…strange, different. Did something happen at the river today?”

I just looked at her.

“You saw the angels, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“But there’s more.”

I shrugged.

“You can’t hide anything from me, Tom. Something happened. What was it?”

“Nothing. Nothing happened. I just saw them, that’s all.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. God! How could she do that? I felt she could read my mind.

“Beck, Tom! Dinner’s ready!” our mom’s voice called.

Beck and my eyes were locked in a stare. “This isn’t over, Tom. There’s more and I want to know what it is.”

I quickly looked away from her and hurried to the kitchen to eat.

Our Mom had prepared an omelet with cheese and mushrooms, home fries and fresh green beans. It was delicious. Afterwards, Beck and I helped to clean up and do the dishes.

“Can Tom and I go to Josh and Liz’s?” my sister asked.

“Sure,” our Mom answered.

I gave Beck a dirty look. Normally, I would be glad to have the evening to do as we pleased but I knew my sister wanted to grill me on what happened earlier that day at the river.

We left the house as usual and headed for Josh’s place as we always did. Halfway there, I tried to hurry ahead of her but Beck grabbed my arm and said, “Oh, no! You’re going to tell me what happened today.”

I looked at her helplessly and tears actually filled my eyes.

She seemed to soften. “Tom, what’s wrong? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…Did something bad happen today?”

I shook my head.

“What? What is it?” she asked, concerned.

“I don’t think I can tell you. At least not yet. You’ve got to promise you won’t tell a soul - not Josh, not Liz, not our parents.”

“I promise, Tom, I promise.”

“One of them spoke to me today. That’s all I can say, except that they’re peaceful and friendly. Please, Beck…” the tears spilled down my cheeks. “Please don’t tell anyone and don’t ask me any more right now.” I covered my face with my hands.

My sister hugged me, I think believing the enormity of what it meant to me. “Okay, Tom. I won’t tell a soul, I promise. It’ll be okay.”

I looked into her eyes and saw that she really meant what she’d said. I took a deep breath and we headed for Josh and Liz’s to spend an evening enjoying his crop and the night sky.

                                                             *~*~*~*

That night, after having a good time with Josh and Liz, Beck and I headed home. I knew she wanted me to confide in her, but for once, I just couldn’t. If I told her I found out the “angels” were really Wraeththu and that I was considering becoming one of them and leaving my family, I felt it would be too much for even her to keep from our parents, and I wouldn’t blame her. Then if my parents knew, they would tell others and…who knew what these people would do?

I went to bed confused, worried, conflicted and not knowing what I should do. I couldn’t sleep. My mind reeled and my thoughts went round and round about things. I felt an inexorable pull to join them, but what if by doing so I started a conflict between our communities, our race and theirs? Not that I was that important, but just that it would alert the people to their presence. I couldn’t just go missing. My parents and sister would freak. I assumed the humans didn’t know about them because the hara could sense their presence and hide themselves. Obviously they didn’t perceive Josh, Beck, Liz or me as a threat, because they showed themselves, knowing of our being just across the river watching them. I tossed and turned all night. I wanted so badly to be one of them but how on earth could I? What was I going to do? Part of me actually wished I’d never seen them, then my life could be as it always had been, but then…

Finally I got up, dressed and decided to take a walk outside. My mind was racing and I knew I had to be home before my family woke up. I decided to head for Josh’s crop. It was my only hope for peace and sleep. I got there, reached into the knothole in the tree and pulled out the pipe, some matches and some pot. I lit up and breathed deeply wanting more than anything to experience the blissful relief from my dilemma. It finally came and I wished I could take some weed home and smoke some more, but I knew that would jeopardize our secret. I smoked some extra before placing everything carefully back in its place. I barely made it home without wanting to lie down and sleep on the ground. I fell into bed, letting sweet oblivion overtake me.

My dreams were filled with visions of the gorgeous Wraeththu, especially Andren who beckoned to me, took me into his arms and kissed me like I could never have imagined being kissed. I had some kind of erotic dream that when I awakened, I couldn’t consciously recall all the details but bodily I knew it had affected me like nothing else ever had. It was a little embarrassing but actually no one else knew about it. Had these alluring creatures invaded my subconscious? Was I just a horny jerk? It was a bit disquieting, but one thing became crystal clear to me beyond questioning: I had to become one of them. They called to me deep in my being and I had to answer. I sat up, took a deep breath and put my head in my hands. I had to speak to one of them again. I realized that I had to venture to the other side of the river and I had to keep it a secret from everyone I knew.

                                                 *~*~*~*

I kept going to the river, hoping to see the beautiful angels that I now knew were Wraeththu. I needed to talk further with them. I knew I wanted to be one of them but I also had a lot of questions to ask about what that would mean to their community and ours. The people in our community didn’t seem to be the most open-minded humans and Wraeththu were the reason we’d hidden ourselves here. The last thing I wanted was to bring any trouble to the beautiful beings I loved so much. How could this ever work?

                                                       *~*~*~*

I waited several days, mulling it all over and not getting much sleep. Beck knew a little about what was on my mind and knew I was troubled, but didn’t press the issue. Even my parents gave me a few concerned looks. Finally, I decided I had to go speak with Andren.

The next day when Beck asked if I wanted to go with her to Josh and Liz’s, I said I had to be alone to think. She seemed a little worried, but went off without me. I headed straight for the river. I waited for quite some time hoping for the Wraeththu to appear. When they finally did, I started for the shallow part of the river so I could cross. I had to backtrack quite a way to get there. I took off my sneakers, waded across and headed down the riverside toward the rocks.

I can’t believe I’m doing this! I thought to myself. I’m really on their side of the river!

I began to get very nervous and apprehensive as I drew nearer to where they’d be. I didn’t even know what I was going to say to them. Maybe I wouldn’t have to say anything. I was sure they could read minds.

Soon I heard voices - talking punctuated by the occasional sound of lilting laughter - as I approached. I got close enough to see them and stopped, too afraid to walk on. There was Andren, sitting, talking to two others and drinking. Suddenly he stopped talking and looked in my direction. He said something to his companions and started to walk toward where I was standing. He must have sensed my presence. I supposed could he sense my trepidation as well. He approached giving me a warm smile.

“Well, hello my lovely young ginger. I was wondering when you’d come.”

I stared, at a loss for words. Andren came close and took my hand in his, leading us over to a soft grassy area to sit. We sat down next to each other.

“Please don’t be afraid. I’m glad you’ve come. You have some questions for me, right?”

I nodded, looking at the ground. I knew if I looked at Andren, I’d be unable to speak.

“I need to know some things…”

“Of course.”

I hesitated and Andren tipped my face up with his fingers, to look at him. His touch made me tremble.

“Are you old enough to drink some wine? It might help you to relax.”

His question surprised me. I hadn’t even noticed the bottle in his hand. He offered it to me.

I nodded mutely and took a drink. It was sweet and it warmed me inside. After a few more mouthfuls, I started to feel mellow.

“That’s better,” he said, with a lovely comforting smile. I passed the bottle back to him. He took a swig, set it down between us, and got the conversation started again.

“You want to become one of us, don’t you?” he asked gently.

“Yes - more than anything. It’s all I can think about, but--”

“You’re worried about how it will affect your family.”

“Yes, but there’s so much more…” I didn’t know where to begin.

“Here.” He handed me the bottle again. I chuckled and took another drink. It really made me feel better.

“Ever…” I began, haltingly, “ever since I first saw all of you, I felt something inside me. At first I called it a ‘crush.’” I smiled, embarrassed. “But then I thought you were angels. Since I found out you were Wraeththu and that I could be one of you, I’ve felt unsettled. Part of me feels so drawn to be - what did you call it? Har?”

He nodded.

“The feeling is so strong, it haunts my every thought. But I’m afraid it’s not possible for me.”

“Why wouldn’t it be? Because of your family?”

“Yes, that’s certainly part of it but…” I looked into his blue-green eyes. “But how can I? The people in our commune, they--” I couldn’t stop myself. Tears rolled down my cheeks. “I couldn’t bear it if they tried to hurt you and it would all be because of my selfish wish to be har.” I broke down a bit more. Andren moved over and hugged me. I clung to him burying my face in his chest as tears streamed down my face.

“Really, there’s a way to work this out. It’ll be alright, I promise.”

I regained control of myself and suddenly realized whose chest I was blubbering into and became self-conscious. I loosed my hold on him and wiped my eyes with my shirtsleeve.

“Listen, we’ve been discussing making ourselves known to your people for quite a while now. Maybe this is a sign that it’s time.”

I shook my head vehemently. “No! No, they’d never understand. They’re religious and close-minded. They have guns for hunting. I could never forgive myself if--”

He chuckled softly. “We know all that. We know all about them. Remember we have distinct advantages over humans.”

“Are you immortal?”

“No, but it would be nearly impossible for them to take us by surprise. We were here a few years before they were and at that time we felt we needed to protect ourselves from others of our own kind who were hostile, so every night we took turns guarding our community.”

“So you have guns, too?”

“No. We hunt with bows. But we guard ourselves with our minds.”

I blinked, at somewhat of a loss.

“A har can search with his mind and sort of patrol a very large area mentally looking for others. We can sense humans and hara from a fairly great distance and prepare ourselves if necessary. My point is you don’t have to worry about us. We can protect ourselves. And we’d never want to hurt any of your people.”

“I just can’t imagine them accepting and trusting you.”

“Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t happen in a day, but a lot of us think it would be worth it to work on living in harmony with your community. Not all of us agree, of course, but maybe your wanting to join us would help them reconsider.”

I was not convinced.

“There’s certainly no rush for any of this.”

I nodded my agreement, feeling much better about things.

Andren stood up and offered me his hand to pull me up.

“Come on. I’d like you to meet some of my friends. Feel up to it?”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

I followed him a short distance to where the rest of the hara were enjoying eating, drinking and swimming. As we approached, the hara that looked our way stopped what they were doing and watched us. I felt so disconcerted that I thought of running away. However, most of them gave us a friendly smile. I assumed Andren had told them all about me and my consideration of becoming one of them. Several hara, including the two Andren had been talking with when I approached stood and came toward us. Andren put a reinforcing arm around my shoulder. The two hara stopped in front of us as many others looked on behind them. Andren looked to me, giving my shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

“This is Tom, the human I told you about. Tom, this is Cirrus and Brinn.” He indicated a slender light-haired har and then a slightly more muscled very dark-haired har, who both nodded to me. He then moved to the dark-haired Brinn and kissed him. I wasn’t sure what was going on. Brinn gave me a welcoming smile.

“Brinn and I are chesna. That means we love each other and have chosen to be together indefinitely. Cirrus is our closest friend.”

He gave me a smile, too. I was a bit overwhelmed and not sure what to think.

“Let’s sit down,” Andren suggested.

The three of us sat on the rocks, a bit away from the rest of them.

I looked over at the others and a har with long auburn hair smiled and winked at me. He stood up, naked, and strolled slowly down to the river to swim, knowing I couldn’t take my eyes off him. They were so unashamed, so at ease with themselves. They were proud of their great beauty without seeming arrogant or vain. Andren’s voice brought me out of my stupor.

“That’s Asher. He’s a little…well, he likes to show off.”

“No wonder,” I said, still staring. The other two chuckled. Cirrus touched my arm.

“We hear you’re considering becoming har.”

I nodded. “Yes, I’d like to - very much - but--” I looked away.

“Yes,” Cirrus said. “It’s not always simple.”

“Tom is close to his family,” Andren explained. “Sometimes that makes it more difficult.”

“I had a good family, too,” Cirrus said. “In our situation, my parents encouraged me to become har because it was the only way to ensure my future.” He hesitated. “It was the hardest decision I ever made,” he said quietly.

“My situation was completely different,” Andren interjected. “My family had broken up, my mother died and I was left with an uncaring stepfather. I couldn’t wait to get out of that situation and become Wraeththu.” Andren looked to his chesnari, Brinn.

“I became har at fifteen,” he said. “I ran the streets, stole, fought, did things I’m not proud of.” He looked to Andren and then continued. “Finally, one day I realized I hated who I’d become and searched for something better.” He smiled at his chesnari. “Luckily, I found it.”

“We each have our own story and our own reasons for answering the call to be Wraeththu,” Andren said. “But we all heard the call. We all knew that to be har was our destiny. You’re no different. I know you hear it, you feel it.” He smiled. “It’s really just a matter of time.”

I nodded, completely understanding and agreeing with what he told me; with what they’d all told me.

“I wish I could just run away and join you, but I can’t do that to my family. And then there’s the threat of the hostile people in my community. I just don’t see how…” I began to tear up again.

“Look,” Andren said. “You don’t have to decide today--”

“But I have decided,” I interrupted. They all stared at me.

“I know I want to join you. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. I just don’t know how it can be.”

Andren gave me a sympathetic smile. “If you’re sure, then we’ll find a way, I promise you. Come back tomorrow, if you can, and I’ll show you our community. Then you can find us whenever you want to.” He looked to his two companions who nodded their approval. “Come across like you did today sometime around noon and I’ll be waiting here at the rocks, okay?”

I nodded.

“If something happens that you can’t come, come the next day or the next. I’ll be waiting every day at that time until you can come.”

My eyes filled with tears. This time Cirrus put a comforting arm around me.

“It will work out, you’ll see.”

I looked into his sky-blue eyes and felt better.

As I made my way back to my side of the river, I thought about how torn I was. I loved my family and didn’t want to leave them or cause them any hurt, but I also knew that, ultimately, my destiny lay on the opposite side of the river. I was so conflicted. And how could I go home without Beck knowing something monumental happened to me? She’d know, I was sure of it. What would I tell her? Even she couldn’t be privy to what I was planning. I wished I was stronger.

                                                                  *~*~*~*

I headed back to the ford in the river, my head full of conflicting thoughts. The one thing I was sure of was that I was destined to be Wraeththu, but I couldn’t tell a soul. Not even my sister, the one person I felt closest to in this world.

I walked toward our house, feeling very alienated from my former self. For now, I had to keep up the appearance of being my usual self and hoped I was up to the challenge. As I entered our place, I smelled dinner cooking and went to the kitchen to find my Mom there. She turned to me.

“Hi, Tom. Dinner’s almost ready.”

“It smells good. Chicken?”

“Yes, baked with breadcrumbs.”

“Mmm.”

“Where’s your sister?”

“I don’t know. Probably with Josh.”

My Mom smiled. “He seems like a very nice boy.”

“He is. If she’s with him, you don’t have to worry.”

I heard the door close and Beck came into the kitchen. She went over and hugged our Mom.

“Did you and Josh have a nice time?” our Mom asked, with a wink to me.

“Yeah, his Mom was busy with some outside work so we watched his little sister, Annie. She’s really a sweet kid. She and Tom could be siblings. They’re both freckle faced redheads.”

Soon my Dad came home and we all had a nice dinner together. Afterwards, Beck and I went over to Josh’s house and Beck, Josh, Liz and I headed for his crop and the river.

Everything seemed to be normal and I was beginning to feel proud of myself for hiding my inner agenda. However, when the evening activities were over and Beck and I headed for home, Beck stopped, grabbing my arm and said, “Tom, we have to talk.”

I blinked at her, feigning innocence and asked, “What about?”

“About whatever the hell is going on with you.”

“What do you mean? Nothing’s going on.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to? It’s me, Beck, and I know something’s going on.”

Oh, God! What was I going to do? Was she already har? She certainly could practically read my mind. I decided to tell her some half-truths. Maybe that would satisfy her for now.

I sat on the ground and Beck followed suit.

“I told you one of them spoke to me.”

She nodded.

“You have to swear you won’t tell anyone, not even Josh.”

“I promise.”

I heaved a sigh. “Well, the…angels have been thinking about making themselves known to our community and trying to have a harmonious relationship with us.”

“No shit!”

“They don’t all agree so they’re not ready to do anything yet. I told them not to. I said the people here would never understand. I’m afraid of what they might do.”

“What did he say to that?”

“Just that they were considering it and that our people couldn’t really hurt them.”

My sister seemed to be pondering. “So you’re kind of the go-between?’

I shrugged. “I don’t know what I am.”

“Who did you speak to and how did you meet with him?”

“He said his name was Andren and he came over to our side of the river to fish. He knew I was hiding and asked me to come out and told me I had nothing to be scared of.”

“What was it like seeing one of them up close?”

“Mind numbing, surreal. Andren was so beautiful it kind of scared me. He was tall and thin with longish blond hair and blue-green eyes. He was really friendly and I could tell I had nothing to fear from any of them. He was almost unbelievable.”

She chuckled. “I bet! Did he say anything else?”

“Just small talk about fishing. Then he caught a big trout and swam back across the river.”

“Wow. Imagine it,” Beck said smiling and putting her arm around my shoulder. “My baby brother, a mediator between angels and humankind. This is big stuff!”

“Cut it out,” I said, chuckling.

We headed for home.

       ~*~*~*** to be continued ***~*~*~

The Beckoning of Angels Post 2

persephone100 — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 18:49:43 GMT

The next day, my father took me with him to find out what our allotments would be. Evidently a family of four got a milk cow and twelve chickens for eggs. The butchering of beef cows, hogs and chickens was done as a whole by the men in the commune and then divided out, according to the size of the family. We had a small refrigerator and a very small freezer, but it would suffice. My father and I went to retrieve our small chicken coop. It looked like a doghouse to me. We assembled it and put up a fence of chicken wire so the cow wouldn’t trample the chickens. My father admitted to me that he didn’t know any more about this kind of thing than I did. All my family were city dwellers. This kind of life was alien to us all. Fortunately, each dwelling was surrounded by a fence to keep the cows in, so we didn’t have to figure out how to do that! We got things set up, got our cow and our chickens and some feed for both. We were told the chickens would eat bugs and stuff and the cow could graze, but in the winter months, they would have to be fed more feed. We each had a small and large tub we could fill with water from a hose to water our livestock. I had to admit, weird though I thought these church people to be, they had it together on the survival front.

It was only slightly after lunch and I felt like I’d worked for days! Through the morning, all I could think of was going to the river again and seeing the angels. They kept rolling across my mind the whole day. Finally we had a few hours before dinner. My father decided to take a nap. Beck must have gone to Josh’s, so I headed straight for the river. I found the exact spot where I’d seen the beautiful creatures before and sat, waiting and hoping. I saw the sun getting low on the horizon and, disappointed, headed home. When I got there, Mom and Beck were just putting up curtains in the living room. Beck smiled at me.

“Mom and I went to pick out material for curtains today. Since all the houses are the same, all we had to do was pick out colors and patterns we liked. I picked blue for your room. I hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“They’ve ordered blinds but they won’t arrive for a while,” my mom said.

I couldn’t believe I was actually beginning to be okay with being here. I still missed Will. I knew I’d never find a friend like him here, but I was at least beginning to feel a bit more comfortable in this place.

*~*~*~*

Our modular house began to take on more of an appearance of being a home. Beck and I were free to do whatever we wanted after our chores were done. We had a discussion after dinner one night when our father doled out responsibilities to us. Our Mom would cook and clean with Beck’s help. My father and I would tend to the animals and fix or build anything we needed. We’d all be responsible for going to the communal meetings, and much to my dislike, I would be helping with the butchering of animals on occasion, where we would learn how to save the fat for cooking, and use all the parts of the animals for whatever we could. I was kind of grossed out by the whole idea, but this was about survival, so I tried to set my mind on that. Someone came to our house to show us how to milk the cow and how to make butter and cheese. We had a warehouse of supplies that we were allotted a certain amount of access. There we could get sugar, salt, flour, and an assortment of basic goods. We still had the weekly church thing, but the preacher here was far more laid back, preaching about getting along and being thankful and stuff like that. No weird intolerant crap. Beck and I were much more at ease.

I overheard my parents talking one night and they were lamenting that no one seemed to be interested in providing any kind of liquor or spirits. My parents had always enjoyed a cocktail or two before dinner, but that seemed to be nonexistent here. I felt sorry for them. We, at least, had Josh’s crop to help us cope with this place.

Things seemed to be going along pretty well. Beck had convinced our parents that Josh was a fine upstanding youth, and after introducing him to them, they pretty much had agreed and had no problem with Beck spending time with him. I was happy for her. She mentioned his sister, Liz and that we were the same age and that we usually went out together, further reassuring our parents that everything was on the up and up. Even though Liz and I just wanted to be friends, we had a lot of good times with Beck and Josh, our parents none the wiser.

One day when Beck and Josh were together, I decided to ask my father if I could go fishing in the river.

“That’s a great idea! Fresh fish would make for a great meal. Let’s make a fishing rod and hook for you. We’ll dig some worms and the rest is up to you,” he said with a wide grin.

After fashioning a makeshift rod and hook, I set off to fish. Of course it was just a ruse to catch a glimpse of the angels again, but if I caught a dinner for us, that would be great, too, and now I had the perfect excuse to go to the river anytime I wanted.

I walked the banks of the river until I came to the place where I’d seen the beautiful creatures. I sat on the bank and cast my line into the water. I really hoped I’d catch something so I’d have a good reason to do this frequently. I fished for quite some time with no success when I heard voices. I quickly pulled my line out of the water and hid behind the lush low plant growth.

Soon, I saw them: the gorgeous creatures I’d seen before. They settled themselves on the high rocks. Some sunned themselves, some disrobed and swam and the rest sat, talking and laughing, sharing bottles and partaking of food they’d brought. I was riveted, mesmerized, smitten. They were so beautiful. My heart ached and my body longed for them. What was wrong with me? They were angels. I begged forgiveness for my carnal thoughts about them. I remembered another bizarre story from the Bible where three angels came into a town to a man’s house and the men of the town surrounded the man’s house and demanded that he send the angels out so they could have sex with them. The man instead sent out his daughters so that the angels would not be subjected to such a thing. What a bizarre story! What kind of a father would do such a thing? But then…I’d seen the angels. I guessed men couldn’t help themselves, being the barbaric beings that we are.

I rubbed my hands over my face, ashamed at the way I felt. I watched them as they swam, ate, drank and conversed until they finally left. It was getting on to dusk but it seemed to me as if only a few moments had passed. I decided to try once again to catch at least one fish to show for my all day trip. To my complete surprise, something tugged strongly on my line. I backed up until I’d landed my catch. It was a very large catfish. I didn’t have anything to put it in so I just dangled it from my line until I reached home.

When I came inside, proudly showing my catch, my parents were very happy.

“Wow!” my Dad exclaimed. “This is at least a dinner!”

My Mom smiled as my Dad put his arm around me. He took the catfish into the kitchen where my Mom readied it for dinner.

Soon Beck came home and when she was told how the dinner came about, she came over to me, put her arm around me and said, “Way to go, Tom!” I looked at her, smiling, a little embarrassed but somewhat proud of myself, too.

We enjoyed a dinner of catfish, rice and peas. Our Mom had made a cake for dessert, so we had quite a feast.

After we helped clean up after dinner, Beck said, “Can Tom and I go over to Josh’s?”

Our parents looked to each other and our Dad said, “Sure.”

Beck and I left and headed for Josh’s house.

“That was an awesome catch, Tom. How did you manage it?”

“I just lucked out,” I said.

Beck laughed.

When we got to Josh’s, he and Liz came out and we headed off for the river, or more decidedly, to Josh’s crop by the river. Josh picked enough weed for us, got his pipe and we made for the rocks, where we’d been before.

The sky was overcast and the awesome view of the stars was nonexistent that night but we still had a high time. We smoked, laughed, talked and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Josh and Beck began making out and then left, telling us they’d be back, so Liz and I were once again left alone.

“You want to take a walk along the river?” Liz suggested.

“Sure.”

We set out, high and somewhat unsure but determined. We walked quite a way and then we both decided we needed to sit and rest for a time.

After sitting a while in silence, Liz asked, “Have you ever kissed a girl?”

I wanted to lie and say, “Sure, lots of times.” But since it was Liz, I decided to tell the truth.

“No. I’m embarrassed to say.”

She snickered. “I’ve never kissed a boy, either.”

Then she looked into my eyes. “Do you want to try - just as friends, of course, just to see…?”

I saw the pleading, curious look in her eyes and answered, “Sure.”

I moved closer to her and she closed her eyes and parted her lips. I pressed my lips to hers and kept them there for a few moments. Her lips felt warm on my own, a not unpleasant feeling, then we drew apart. After a few moments, I looked into her eyes. She looked into mine, blinking.

“Did you feel anything?” she asked.

“Your lips felt warm,” I answered.

“Yours did, too.”

“Did you feel anything else?”

“No,” she said.

“Me, neither.”

Then we both laughed, a bit embarrassed.

“I guess we’re not ready for all this,” I said.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Let’s go back to the rock, smoke some more and wait for Josh and Beck,” I suggested.

“Sounds great to me.”

After quite some time, Josh and Beck returned, we smoked some more and then decided we’d better go back.

On the way home Beck sighed and said, “I think I’m really falling for Josh.”

I looked over at her. She was smiling.

“It was different with Travis. He was fun and hot and all that, but Josh is…he’s more than that. Well, he’s that and more. He’s--” She looked down and appeared suddenly serious. “I wish I’d, you know, saved myself for him instead of…”

I patted her shoulder. “I’m sure he doesn’t care about that. What matters is what you feel for each other, you know - now. Right?”

“I guess.”

“I can see he’s smitten. I think he was from the first time he saw you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he was obviously trying to impress you from the first.”

She smiled widely. “Thanks, Tom.”

We got to our house and went in and to bed.

*~*~*~*

Several days later after our chores were done, Beck told me she was going to Josh’s and I told her I was going to the river.

“Going to catch more fish for dinner?” she asked.

“Maybe. See you later.”

I made my way along the riverbank until I came to the place where the angels had appeared. I waited expectantly and my patience was finally rewarded. The heavenly creatures appeared as before, laughing, swimming, eating and drinking. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I was hypnotized by their beauty and bearing. I was completely lost in observing them when suddenly, the spell was broken.

“Tom?”

I snapped my head toward the voice. It was Liz.

I just stared at her, not knowing what to say. She looked in the direction of the angels and gasped. Instinctively, it seemed, she ducked down and hid with me behind the bushes.

“My God!” she exclaimed. “They’re beautiful. Who are they? What are they?”

“I…I don’t know. I’m not sure. I think they’re angels.”

“God, they’re gorgeous! I think you’re right. Have you seen them before?”

“Yeah. I saw them once and kept coming back, hoping to see them again. I’ve seen them twice before and then again this time. They come here to swim and relax, it seems.”

Liz covered her mouth with her hand, wide-eyed and then said, “Their bodies…they’re male, but more. Their boy parts look like flower buds. They can’t be human, can they?” She looked to me.

“I don’t think so.”

“Have you told anyone about them?”

“No! And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t, either, okay?”

She looked into my eyes. “Okay. I promise. This will be our secret.”

I smiled, relieved. “Thanks. I was going to tell Beck, but I had to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing. It’s okay to tell Josh and Beck, but I think we need to show them before we tell them.”

“I agree. They’d never believe it unless they saw it for themselves.” Liz turned to me excitedly. “Let’s bring them here without telling them exactly why.”

I nodded my agreement.

“Do they come at a certain time?”

“No. I just kept looking for them. They come at random, but they do come to the same place.”

“Let’s bring Josh and Beck here and tell them there’s something special here and just keep coming until we see them.”

I laughed. “They’ll think we’ve lost our minds. They’ll probably lose interest.”

“Not if we tell them it’s something phenomenal. If we’re secretive about what exactly it is, they’ll be intrigued. Wouldn’t you be?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Okay, we’ll tell them tomorrow night.”

The following night, we did just that. We led them to the place and waited. It was dusk when we got there. We smoked some pot and waited. Nothing happened. The comely creatures didn’t appear. We still had a good time and then headed for home. On the way back, I took Liz aside and told her quietly, “I think they only come in the daytime. They come to swim and relax. After dark is too late. I’ve only seen them in the afternoon. We need to bring Josh and Beck here then.”

Liz nodded. “Let’s tell them we need to come in the day to see the ‘secret.‘”

“Okay. You tell Josh and I’ll tell Beck.”

She gave me a conspiratorial smile.

When we parted ways, I said to Beck, “I think we need to go to the same place in the daytime. The secret thing we want to show you won’t happen after dusk.”

Beck gave me a doubtful look.

“Seriously! What we want to show you is well worth the time and effort. You’ll see if you’ll just bear with us.”

“Okay, weird brother of mine, I’m game. I can’t imagine what you and Liz have cooked up, but I’m very curious and so is Josh. We’ll play along.”

“Good! I promise, when you see what we’re waiting for, you won’t be disappointed.”

*~*~*~*

Because of inclement weather, we couldn’t go to the river for three days. Finally, on a sunny, windy day, we were able to go after lunch and after our chores were done. Josh, Beck, Liz and I headed for the spot at the river. Josh had his stash with him, so after we got to the spot, we smoked and mellowed out, waiting. I was just about to give up when I heard voices. The others obviously heard them, too, because we all scurried behind the bushes, hiding ourselves.

Then the beautiful creatures emerged from the trees across the river. They settled on the rocks, some drinking and talking, some eating and then some of them stripped to swim. I heard my sister gasp as she covered her mouth with her hands. Liz and I locked gazes and shared a satisfied grin. Josh was still staring across the river, at a loss for words, it seemed.

My sister was the first to try to speak.

“What, who are they?”

“I don’t know,” I replied.

“They--” she stuttered. “They don’t look human. They look…”

“Like angels,” I finished.

“Maybe,” Beck continued. “But they, they have…something more than humans have. They have an enhanced…male part. It’s exquisite, like a flower or a bud on a stalk or…”

Josh spoke next, I think a bit put off by Beck’s spellbound impressions.

“They’re freaks of nature. Maybe they’re even dangerous. We should be careful.”

“No!” my sister said. “They’re not of this world. They’re obviously also no threat. They’re probably what Tom said - angels. Who’d have thought? We are being protected. I’d have never believed what our parents said about this place, but maybe it’s true. It’s a safe haven from the troubles of the world. What other explanation is there?” She looked to Josh.

He looked dubious, but then relaxed, shrugged and smiled at my sister.

“I don’t have one. Maybe you’re right.” He moved to embrace Beck and they connected on some level unknown to Liz and me.

I looked to Josh and Beck and Josh, to my surprise, spoke.

“We have to keep this to ourselves. We can’t speak of this to anyone but those of us here, now.”

I was completely relieved and nodded my agreement, as did the others.

We watched as the lovely creatures swam, drank, ate and talked. Finally after a time, I couldn’t determine how long, they gathered up their things, dressed and headed off into the trees on the opposite side of the river. After they’d gone we were all quiet for a time.

“So, what do you think?” I finally asked.

Beck looked at me. “I think they’re awesome, beautiful, ethereal, and not of this world.”

Liz spoke next. “They’re the most gorgeous creatures I’ve ever seen! They have to be angels!”

I looked to Josh, who looked confused and disdainful. “I’m not sure what I think. They may be placed here to fool us, to take us in and…I don’t know.”

Beck moved over to Josh and took him into her arms. I heard their exchange, even though I thought it wasn’t meant for my ears.

“They’re angels or some kind of otherworldly beings. Even if they were something evil, I’d have you to protect me. We need to be close, no matter what these beings are. I think they’re benevolent, but whatever happens, I want to be close to you.”

Josh relented as he and Beck melded into a kiss.

I looked to Liz who gave me a smirk.

I made a mental note to myself, remember this: females hold sway over us. They’re stronger, don’t fool yourself. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a fact, just be aware.

We headed for home, but Josh said, “Let’s have one for the road.”

We all agreed, of course, but I couldn’t help thinking that he wanted to get stoned again because the sights we showed him affected him beyond what he’d expected. I hoped he wouldn’t do something to ruin what we’d discovered. It was more important to me than I’d originally thought. I knew Josh didn’t like the fascination Beck had for the ethereal creatures. Liz had the same reaction, but I was glad she and my sister had had it. I had it, too. I wasn’t sure what that said about me but I didn’t care. I just wanted the creatures to remain our secret. I had fears of what would happen if the people in our community found out about them. I was afraid that they would try to do them harm, not understanding who and what they were. I knew that the people in our church would not accept them, even though they were angels. They wouldn’t see it. They were too blind. Later that night I couldn’t sleep and went into Beck’s room to talk to her.

“Beck?” I moved closer to her bed and roused her. “Beck!” She stirred and woke up.

“Mmmm, Tom?”

“Yeah. We have to talk.”

“Can’t it wait?” She yawned.

“No. It can’t.”

She sat up, sleepily and yawned again. “Okay. What is it?”

“I’m afraid that Josh is going to tell someone about the angels.”

“What? Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know. I’m just afraid. He didn’t seem to be as taken with them as the rest of us were. I think he sees them as a threat or something.”

“What? No, he’s okay with them.”

“I don’t think so. If he tells someone about them, they’ll misunderstand, I know it and then, then…I don’t want them to be hurt or scared away. I couldn’t bear it if…”

“What are you really saying, Tom?”

I stared into my sister’s eyes. “I’m saying that I…that I’m really drawn to them, that I’d like to be like them, that--” I shook my head. “I know that’s ridiculous and impossible, but I don’t want any harm to come to them or for there to be any conflict between them and us. It would be all my fault and I couldn’t stand it. We need to live our lives and let them live theirs. Do you understand?”

She put her hands on my shoulders. “Yes. Yes, I understand, Tom. I’ll speak to Josh. I’ll try to make sure he doesn’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Okay.”

I felt somewhat reassured because I felt Josh would never do anything if my sister asked him not to, but I still thought: what if he already told?

I actually prayed until I finally fell asleep.

*~*~*~*

I was very anxious for Beck to go see Josh and reiterate how important it was to keep the angels a secret. I felt such a strong affinity for them that defied explanation. I worried about them and couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing them again. But what harm could possibly come to angels? They were immortal. My thoughts and feelings didn’t make any sense but I couldn’t help myself. Something deep inside me began to make me think they really weren’t angels. I felt that maybe they were some kind of race of beings from some other realm or something. I obsessed about them constantly and lived for the next time I’d see them. I began to have ideas of actually communicating with them someday. I could catch a word or phrase of theirs on occasion and they spoke our language, but I feared that I’d scare them off if I made myself known and I couldn’t bear that.

Beck came back the next afternoon from visiting with Josh and assured me that he wasn’t going to tell anyone about the angels. I felt somewhat reassured. She told me that he actually liked that we had such an awesome secret from everyone else. That made me rest a little easier. I knew that Liz and Beck wouldn’t betray our secret. Josh was the only one I wasn’t sure of. And my sister had somewhat assuaged my consternation.

The next day, after lunch and after all the chores were done, I headed for the river. I took my fishing rod, hoping to catch something for dinner, but of course, my main agenda was catching a glimpse of the gorgeous creatures.

I cast my line into the river for a while when I heard their voices. I quickly pulled it out of the water and hid myself to watch them. They settled themselves on the rocks as usual and ate, drank and skinny-dipped. I was so mesmerized and focused on them that I didn’t notice someone on my side of the river. His voice startled me.

“Hey, you don’t have to hide, you know.”

I looked over to see one of the angels standing only yards away from me, his fishing line in the river. He was clad in nothing but a very form-fitting pair of pants.

I was paralyzed. Thoughts coursed through my mind, yet I couldn’t concentrate on them. I stood up, blinking at him, mute and dumbfounded. He was beautiful: blond, tall, thin, built to perfection. I was stunned. He flashed an indescribably luscious smile my way.

“Come out, young one. I won’t hurt you.”

I walked out of my hiding place like a zombie, an automaton, a moth to a flame, staring blatantly at the vision of perfection before me.

“That’s better,” the vision responded. “I’m Andren. What’s your name?”

At first I couldn’t speak but after a few moments I found my voice and gathered my thoughts enough to answer.

“Tom, uh, Thomas. Tom.”

“Well, Tom, nice to meet you.”

I just stared.

“You’ve been here before haven’t you?”

I froze. Oh, God! They know I’ve been spying. The terror must have shown obviously on my face.

“It’s okay. We don’t mind. Don’t look so scared. We can sense the presence of others and can usually determine whether they’re potential friends or foes.”

I tried to relax. There was so much I wanted to know, so many questions I wanted to ask but I just stood there.

“Have you had any luck? With fishing here, I mean.”

I nodded. “Last week I caught a big catfish.”

“Good! Then I guess I’m not wasting my time trying this side of the river.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I stared like an idiot. I just couldn’t help myself. The vision smiled at me.

“Are you…angels?” I ventured.

He laughed, a lovely musical sound. “No. We’re hara.”

“Hara?” I parroted, mindlessly.

“Yes. We’re hara, Wraeththu.”

Wraeththu? How could this be? Weren’t these the creatures we’d fled from? My face must have mirrored my fear.

“I’m guessing you’ve heard nothing but bad things about us. It’s probably why you’re living way out here. There are a lot of our race who are destructive and give the rest of us a bad name. My clan is peaceful. That’s why we’ve settled this far out; to live our lives away from all the violence, not unlike your people, I suspect. We aren’t all violent, just like humans aren’t all violent.”

“I knew it! I just got…good vibes from you.”

He smiled. “Have you told anyone about us?”

I felt bad that I’d told, but I had to be truthful.

“I told my sister, her boyfriend and his sister. They swore they wouldn’t tell anyone else. I believe them.”

“We wouldn’t mind having a friendly relationship with the humans out here, but we feel they’d be afraid. They’d assume we’d be like the hara they feared.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they’d understand. That’s why I wanted to keep our seeing you a secret.”

“They’d probably feel threatened,” Andren said. “They’d be afraid that we’d kidnap their young men and boys. But we wouldn’t do that. They would be free to become one of us or not. We’d never force them.”

I felt a thrill go through me. Become one of them? I had to know more.

“What do you mean, become one of you?”

“Any young human male from about twelve to around twenty-five can become har if he wants to. It involves a painful transformation, which we can make bearable with herbs, healing techniques and medications, but at the end of it all, he’s one of us. We live longer than humans, we’re stronger - practically indestructible, healthier, more beautiful, we have psychic powers, we can do magic. There’s a lot to be said for being har.”

“You mean I could be like you?”

“Yes. Completely.”

I stared into space, trying to process the information. I could be one of them? Oh, God! Could this really be true?

“What would this mean, exactly? Would I have to abandon my family?”

“Well, yes, essentially. Once you’re har, you leave your humanity behind.”

“But, I’d be just across the river…”

“Still, you’d be miles away bodily and spiritually. It’s not a decision made easily.”

I was a bit disillusioned, but I had to know more.

“How would this transformation happen, exactly?”

“Well, a har would cut his arm and cut your arm and mingle his blood with yours. A while after, you would go through a change that we call ‘althaia.’ It takes anywhere from three to five days. After that, you’d be har. Then we’d probably have a celebration, you’d take your first aruna and afterward begin your harish life.”

“Aruna?”

“Yes. Aruna is harish sex and it’s an integral part of the change. In fact, it’s absolutely necessary to seal your transformation.”

I was a bit confused.

“Were all hara human once?”

“Yes, as far as I know, with the possible exception of the Aghama. He was the first of our kind and his origins are shrouded in mystery. There’s also speculation about hara procreating, but I haven’t seen evidence of that, yet. Maybe that’s in our future.”

I was a jumble of feelings and thoughts. I wanted to be one of them but I loved my family. I couldn’t imagine life without Beck and my parents yet…there they were, the beings that pervaded my every thought and dream. I wanted nothing more than to become one of them. Now I knew it could be a reality. But I was torn. Why did this have to be so difficult? Like a shot, another question arose in my mind.

“You spoke about procreation and sex…aruna. Are they’re females of you as well?”

“No. We’re hermaphrodites.”

I’m sure I looked perplexed.

“It means each of us is both male and female. We call it ouana and soume, ouana being the male and soume being the female equivalent, roughly.”

I’m sure I stared stupidly as I tried to figure out the logistics.

“When hara have sex, one usually takes the soume role and the other, the ouana. Of course there’s lots of room for ‘innovation,’” he said with a somewhat randy smile.

I blinked at him, utterly overwhelmed.

Andren suddenly reeled in his fishing line.

“Whoa! Hey, I’ve caught a fair sized trout! This side of the river is a good place! We’ll have a fish to cook tonight!”

Beautiful Andren looked over at me.

“I’ve caught a nice fish today. Have I maybe caught a lovely red-haired boy as well?” He smiled benevolently.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure…”

“You need to think about it. Becoming har is a huge decision, not one to be made lightly. Give it some thought. I’d be delighted if you became one of us. You’re quite lovely as you are, but as har you’d be breathtaking, I’m sure.” He flashed me another smile that seemed to melt my insides. “Please remember me if you decide to join us. We’ll be back here on occasion. Please make yourself known to us if you want to become Wraeththu. We’ll be more than happy to have you! Hope to see you again, Tom.”

He walked down to the riverside and swam over to the others. He gave me a look back before heading off to his kindred. I was stunned, at a loss. It was all too much for me to process. I stayed there for quite a while before I felt like I could join my family in the real world again.

**~~> to be continued <~~**

The Beckoning of Angels Post 1

persephone100 — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 22:26:33 GMT

                                                                                           THE BECKONING OF ANGELS

AUTHOR: Persephone100
CHARACTERS: OC'S
BETA: thrihyrne
RATING: NC 17
SPOILERS: NONE
SYNOPSIS: A boy and his family are forced to leave their city to escape the violent Wraeththu. They move to a commune in the middle of nowhere. However, they find that Wraeththu are everywhere and things turn out quite differently than anyone expected.
DISCLAIMER: All the characters and their world and all things Wraeththu belong to Storm Constantine, to whom I am very grateful.

It was a lovely day in late May as I made my way home from school, happy that there were only a couple of weeks of classes left until summer vacation. We lived in a suburb of Atlanta, where summers were long and it got very hot toward the last weeks of school. I was lost in thought when I heard someone call my name.

“Tom! Wait up!”

I turned to see my best friend, Will, running to catch up with me. We usually walked to and from school together, but today he didn’t show up in front of the school after classes as usual, so I’d left without him.

“Where were you?” I asked.

His cheeks flushed and he grinned excitedly. “Lily asked me what the English homework assignment was.”

I gave him a smile. I knew he had a huge crush on the slender, dark-haired Lily. This must have been monumental for him.

“After I told her, she hung around and talked to me for a while. I had to stay. When she left she actually touched my arm and thanked me! I couldn’t believe it!”

“I’m happy for you Will, really.”

“Do you think it means anything? I mean, do you think it means she likes me?”

I shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you. Girls are a mystery to me.”

“But you have a sister. Doesn’t that give you an edge or something?”

“Hah! Not hardly! A sister isn’t a ‘real’ girl. She’s just--” I shrugged again. “A sister.”

“You’re no help!” he said, shoving me teasingly.

We’d gotten to my house that was three houses away from Will’s. We stopped in front and Will said, “Since it’s Friday, how about you ask your parents if you can stay over.”

“Okay. I’ll come over after dinner.”

“See ya!” he called as he ran up the street.

I opened our front gate and walked past the rosebush-lined path into our house. The smell of something cooking greeted me. I stopped and closed my eyes, trying to figure out what it was. Jambalaya? Stew? Soup? I headed for the kitchen to find out. My mother was there stirring something.

“Hi, Thomas. How was school?”

“Okay. What’s cooking?”

“Jambalaya.”

I put my books down and sat at the kitchen table.

“Do you want a snack?”

“No. I’ll wait for the jambalaya,” I said hungrily.

“Did you see your sister?”

“No. I walked home with Will. Oh, can I stay over tonight at his house?”

My Mom sighed. “I guess so.”

“Thanks.”

I left the kitchen to go watch TV until dinner was ready. As I sat, something occurred to me. I hadn’t seen my sister Rebecca at all that day. I was in middle school and she was in high school but the buildings were right next to each other and I usually saw her at some point during the day. Becca, or as she liked to be called lately, “Beck,” had kind of been off in her own world recently. I didn’t think it unusual for a sixteen-year-old girl and she still confided in me a lot, which I was thankful for because it meant that I could do the same.

Just then, I heard the front screen door slam and Beck let her books fall onto the table as she flopped down on the couch next to me. She heaved a deep sigh.

“I didn’t see you today. Where were you?” I asked.

She gave me a “look.”

“Don’t ask.”

“Were you at school?”

“Shhh!” She looked around. “Where’s Mom?”

“In the kitchen.”

“And Dad?”

“Not home yet, of course.”

“Oh yeah, right.”

She looked intently into my eyes. “Don’t tell. You promise?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I played hooky from school today and spent it with Travis.”

I smiled at her. “No way! You didn’t get caught?”

“No. I heard that if you write a note saying you went to a funeral, they wouldn’t call your parents. It’s considered to be in bad taste.”

“Who died?” I asked, laughing.

“Our unfortunate Great Aunt Laura.”

I couldn’t help admiring my older sis for her pluck and ingenuity.

“I know you’re a girl, but you’ve got more balls than I’ve got.”

She laughed, slapping me on the leg.

The front screen door once more slammed, meaning our father was home.

He passed by us and set his briefcase down in the hallway, giving us a smile, then he headed off for the kitchen.

“What are you going to do this weekend?” Beck asked me.

“I’m staying over at Will’s tonight, but…”

Beck gave me another look.

“Yeah I know,” I said. “Sunday we’ll have to go to church.”

Beck nodded solemnly.

Our parents had decided to join a church that was too fundamental for Beck and me. We didn’t like it. Beck told me she remembered a time when our parents didn’t go to church at all but I, being two years younger, didn’t remember a time when we didn’t attend church. Beck told me they’d joined the church when she was seven and I was five. She pretty much thought all of it to be bullshit but I wasn’t sure. I believed that there was something else out there, some other realm or something, but I didn’t put any stock in the church my parents had chosen either. The people there seemed too judgmental, too intolerant and way too sure that their way was the only way. I couldn’t subscribe to that. Even though I was only fourteen, I knew what I believed and didn’t believe.

Beck and I hated going to that church but we had no choice. We didn’t want to defy our parents on that level. We pretty much lived our lives happily day to day and forced ourselves to stand church one hour a week. As long as it wasn’t anything more than that, we could tolerate it without making a stink. Unfortunately, things were about to change.

I usually didn’t pay much attention to the weekly haranguing sermon. I tried to take my mind to a better place but this particular Sunday I couldn’t. The preacher yelled and spat and forced down all our throats a sermon about the coming of demons - beings that were intent upon the destruction of humanity. He spoke of tribes of violent beings that, according to him, were already preying upon innocent humans. They killed and destroyed. He called them “sexual deviants” who sometimes took captives to make them into the monsters that they were. The only thought that I could conjure in my mind was of vampires. How stupid! Vampires were mythical beings. How could a preacher of a legitimate church preach such garbage? I looked to my sister who pretended to stick her finger down her throat and vomit and I couldn’t stifle my laughter. Our actions drew stern and disapproving looks from our parents and we settled down.

After the weekly torture was over, we thankfully left the church and went home. After we got there, our Mom got a meal together. As we partook of it, she loudly set her utensils down and we all looked at her.

“You two were very rude in church today,” she said, looking to Beck and me.

We looked at each other and kept silent. Our Mom’s words hung in the air.

Beck broke the silence. “You can’t believe that garbage he was spewing!”

I held my breath, wide-eyed at my sister’s boldness.

“Garbage?” our Mom said, emphatically. “You have no idea of the imminent dangers that threaten humanity! There is a plague out there! A plague that threatens all human life as we know it! And whether you like it or not, your father and I are going to protect you from it!”

Our father put his hand on our Mother’s arm and she quieted.

“Just finish your meal,” our Mother instructed.

Beck and I did as she said, exchanging looks with each other. I really felt weird.

Later, after my sister and I were supposed to be asleep, Beck came into my room.

“Psst! Tom! Are you awake?”

“Yeah”

She sat on the foot of my bed as I sat up.

“What the fuck do you think our parents are up to?” she asked.

“I couldn’t begin to guess, but if they believe what that asshole preacher said, I shudder to think.”

“What are we going to do?”

“Huh? I was counting on you! You’re older and you’ve got more guts!”

“This seems big--bigger than the guts I’ve got.”

“Do you think there’s any truth to what the preacher said?”

At first she huffed like it was insignificant, but then she looked at me with an unreadable expression.

“I think the preacher’s full of shit, but that doesn’t mean there’s not something out there. I’ll go talk to my friend, Mena. Her parents aren’t religious or weird. I’ll get the straight story from her. I’ll talk to her tomorrow after school.”

“So you’re going to show up at school tomorrow?”

My sister gave me a dirty look. “Yes,” she said, and flipped me off.

I laughed, and slept soundly.

                                                     *~*~*~*

On Monday, Beck and I went off to school as usual. I talked to my best friend and tried to assure him that he should speak to the girl of his dreams. As always, I got through the day, weathering the few comments like being called freckle-face or carrot-top. There was a girl, however, that seemed to like me. Her name was Jane. I liked her as a friend but I knew she liked me as more than that. I wasn’t ready to like a girl as more than a friend and when she spoke to me I felt very uneasy.

Later that night, as I pondered the events of the day, I finally confronted the feelings I had. I wasn’t really attracted to any girl. What did this mean? My sister once referred to me as a late bloomer. Was that all there was to it? I decided to go to sleep and ponder my dilemma at another time.

                                                            ~*~*~*~

Finally, the end of the school year arrived. It was always a happy time for me! I reveled in the freedom and the chance to do whatever I wanted. I could now spend time with my best friend, swim and skateboard; we could stay over at each other’s houses and generally just have fun for three months. However, unbeknownst to me, this summer things would be different.

For the first couple of weeks of vacation all seemed normal. Will and I went to the skate park, where Lily just happened to show up and hang out with us. Obviously, she had a thing for Will and I was happy for him. Beck hung out with Travis, her boyfriend, and her friends, Mena and Nan. All seemed copacetic. Then the bomb dropped.

One night at dinner, our parents seemed on edge. I could feel it and when I glanced over at Beck, she shrugged. I knew she felt it, too. After dinner, Beck and I made ready to leave the house and go out with our friends when my Dad came into my room.

“Tom, your mother and I want to talk to you and Rebecca.”

“About what?”

“Just come down to the family room, okay?”

“Yeah…sure.”

What the hell was this about? I thought. Where was Beck?

When I entered the family room I was met with a tableau of both my parents standing, looking very serious and a very confused and apprehensive Beck sitting on the couch. I sat down beside her. My father spoke.

“We…uh, have something to tell you both.”

Then our Mom took over.

“I know you kids don’t believe it, but there is a real threat to humanity and life as we know it.”

Beck opened her mouth to protest.

“NO!!” our mom said, loudly. “You’re going to listen! It’s not just the people in our church who believe this. There are people or whatever out there bent on the destruction of humanity and life as we know it. We’ve tried to protect you from the truth but the time has come to let you know what’s going on. They’re coming and we have to leave here to survive.”

“What?” Beck asked shaking her head in disbelief. “Have you two gone insane? What…what are you talking about?”

“They’re called Wraeththu. They’re bands of males who…well they entice or force boys and young men to join them to increase their numbers and they take over cities, running people off, taking their homes and kidnapping their young males. They’re evil! It’s a plague and one that we can’t stop. Our only hope is to retreat. We need to leave here and go somewhere safe.”

“Oh, my fucking God!!!” my sister yelled. “I can’t believe this! You’re both crazy! I’m out of here! I’m SO out of here!!!” She grabbed her purse and ran out the door. Our Mom ran after her and yelled from the porch.

“Rebecca! Get back here, now! Rebecca!”

I sat on the couch with my hands on my ears, my eyes squeezed shut. I felt my Dad’s hand on my shoulder. I started and looked up at him.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I expected her to react like that.” He sat by me on the couch.

“Listen, Tom. This is for real. We need to get out of the city. Maybe we’ll come back when it’s safe. We’re not selling the house or anything. Maybe our retreat will only be temporary. I hope so. I like my job. I haven’t resigned, I’ve just taken a sabbatical. Your Mom and I grew up here. We love our home and our life here. We don’t want to leave. We just know we have to - for all of our sakes. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t believe it was necessary.”

I nodded, wanting to believe him.

                                                           ~*~*~*~

Later that night as I lay in bed, I wondered what Beck was doing. Would she come back? Would something happen to her out there? I was worried. After I finally dozed off I was soon awakened. Someone was shaking me.

“Huh? What the…Beck! You’re back!”

“Shhh! Yeah.” She sat on my bed.

“I went to Mena’s. I spoke with her and her Mom. Believe it or not, our parents are right. The Wraeththu do exist and Mena’s parents are afraid, too. They don’t have the means or a place to go so they’re going to wait it out here and hope for the best. They may never come here, but if they do…I can’t believe this is happening!” She raked her fingers through her wild, dyed-black hair.

“So…so our parents aren’t overreacting?”

“Well, I’m not so sure about that but the threat is evidently real. Mena’s Mom said there were reports of whole towns being burned and destroyed and that a lot of it didn’t make the news because they didn’t want people to panic. But these…beings are out there, mostly in cities.”

“Why didn’t anyone say something sooner?”

“You know how it is. People believe what they want to until they can’t fool themselves any longer.”

“So we’re really leaving?”

She heaved a sigh. “Yeah, it looks that way.”

Instead of going to her room, Beck curled up at the foot of my bed. I was glad not to be alone.

                                                      ~*~*~*~

The next few days were spent packing up all the things we wanted to take with us and putting them into a covered trailer my father had bought to tow behind our car. I went to say goodbye to Will and almost cried. I swore I’d come back someday no matter what happened. He seemed to be emotional, too. I wished him good luck with Lily and told him that our friendship meant the world to me. We slapped each other on the back and I quickly left so he wouldn’t see me cry.

Early the next morning, Beck and I got into the back seat of our car and took a long last look at our home as we pulled away. All of us were silent for a long time as we rode along, away from all that meant anything to us.

Later on our father, trying to lighten the mood I guess, said, “Let’s think of this as an adventure. We’re going to a new place. We can think of ourselves as sort of…pioneers.”

I gave him credit for effort, but neither Beck nor I wanted this particular type of adventure. We were going to a place where everyone would be from the church we hated. Neither of us had any friends there. It was going to be lonely and boring, I just knew it. At least I had Beck. That was the only good thing I could come up with about this whole thing. Misery, it seemed, does love company.

                                                        ~*~*~*~

We drove for days, staying at motels and soon all we passed were cornfields, cornfields, and more cornfields. I looked at Beck who looked back at me with the same forlorn expression I’m sure I wore.

Finally we headed down a very long lane, leaving a cloud of dust behind us and arrived at what I would call a compound. There were a few buildings clustered together and rows of other small modular type buildings stretching in several directions. Our parents had explained that some of the members of their church had been there setting things up for congregations from all over the country to eventually come here if and when it became necessary.

My first thought was how ironic it was that religious people set up this place that looked so God-forsaken. We stopped in front of one of the buildings and our parents went inside, leaving Beck and me in the car. I looked over at her. She looked freaked out and neither of us had anything to say. Our parents returned and drove down one of the dirt roads, finally stopping in front of one of the small modular buildings.

“Well,” our Dad said. “This is it. Home sweet home until further notice.”

Beck and I got out and stared at the small plain building. I’m sure she had the same thoughts I did. How are we going to live in this place? It’s awful! It didn’t even look big enough for one person, let alone four! I guessed all of us could say goodbye to our privacy.

Our Mom headed straight inside but our father said, “Hey, I know it’s not what we’re used to but we’ll make it home - you’ll see.” He patted me on the back and followed our Mom inside. I couldn’t even imagine all the stuff we’d brought with us fitting in to such a small place.

I looked at Beck who took a deep breath, shook her head and walked toward the door. I followed.

Once inside, I could tell it had the appearance of more space than it seemed to have looking at it from the outside because it had an open floor plan. Just inside the door was a room that extended the whole length of the front of the house. There were bedrooms behind it and to the right and a kitchen/dining area through an archway and to the left. To my great relief, we seemed to have electricity and a gas supply. There was only one bathroom but at least we had one. And I was also relieved when our Mom turned on the water at the kitchen sink. I’d feared it would be even more primitive. The bedrooms were miniscule, with barely room for a bed and dresser but at least my parents, sister and I each had our own private space.

We silently began to move in our things. The whole scene seemed surreal to me, like it was a bad dream - a very bad dream. After we moved in the kitchen stuff and our furniture, we were on our own to make our rooms the way we wanted. I moved my boxes of belongings into my room and couldn’t do any more. I just sat on my bed wanting to cry. But I couldn’t even do that. I missed Will. I missed my normal life already. How was I going to stand it here? I didn’t even want to unpack my things - that would make it too real. I sat for a time with my head in my hands, when I felt someone sit on my bed. Beck wordlessly put her arm around me and we sat there feeling miserable.

That night after dinner I went to my room to sleep. I still hadn’t unpacked my things. I lay in my bed looking through the curtain-less windows at a stark half moon, wondering what was to become of us. I was on the verge of tears when Beck came in. She sat on my bed and looked at me, a very determined expression on her face. I regarded her quizzically. She took a deep breath.

“Okay,” she stated. “We’re here. We don’t want to be, but we are. We can either give in to depression or we can try to find a way to make this place work for us. I vote for the latter.”

In spite of everything, I smiled.

“There’s got to be something good about this place and I’m guessing there are some other people our age who feel the same way we do. It’s our mission to find both.”

She put her hand up and I high-fived her.

“Finding something good about this hellhole might take a while,” I said.

“It doesn’t matter. We’ve got time.”

I laughed out loud, something I had wondered if I’d ever do again. I wanted to kiss her.

“We’ll go exploring tomorrow,” she suggested. “We’ll find something to redeem this place. Goodnight little brother.”

I lay back in bed with renewed hope. God, my sister was something else.

                                             ~*~*~*~

The next morning after breakfast Beck said, “Tom and I are going exploring, okay? We want to familiarize ourselves with our new environment.”

Our Mom actually smiled. “Sure,” she said. “Just be back for lunch.”

Beck nodded and we headed out.

“Mom thinks that there’s absolutely no trouble we can get into here. As long as she thinks that, we’ve got carte blanche!”

“But maybe there isn’t anything we can get into,” I said.

“Oh, we’ll find something.”

We made our way through the compound and saw several families going about different activities. We passed by a house where a little girl was jumping rope and a good-looking boy was feeding horses. He stared obviously at Beck, who stared back and winked. The boy smiled widely.

“Hmmm,” she said. “Maybe I’ve found a kindred spirit. And a cute one at that!”

“How do you do that?”

“What?”

“Just look at a guy and get his interest.”

She shrugged. “Well, I’m no super model. I think it’s attitude. You could do the same.”

“No way!”

“Why not?”

“I’m not a super model either and I don’t have ‘attitude.’”

“Well, get some!”

“How do I do that? I think you’ve either got it or you haven’t.”

“Watch and learn, grasshopper.”

We headed over to the good-looking horse-feeding boy.

As we approached he seemed to draw himself up, trying to look as buff as he could. My sister worked her magic.

“Hi. My family and I just got here yesterday. We don’t know anything about the workings of this place. Could you enlighten us?”

“It would be my pleasure,” the handsome youth said.

“Maybe you could show us around. Oh, I’m Beck and this is my brother, Tom.”

“Nice to meet you both. I’m Josh.”

He showed us around, letting us know about the workings of the place: chickens for eggs and meat, cows and goats for milk, some of the crops they grew, stuff like that.

As he explained things to us, I could tell that Josh was very interested in Beck. He hardly took his eyes off her and when he occasionally turned his attention to me for a second, I knew he was just being polite. After a while, my sister gave me the signal that she wanted me to make myself scarce, so I made an excuse and left.

I didn’t know what to do with myself and didn’t want to go home without Beck because then our parents would be suspicious, so I just wandered until I came to a river. I walked along its grassy banks for quite a distance. I finally sat, took off my shoes and dangled my feet in the water.

As I sat watching the river flow and taking in the scenery, I heard voices. Instinctively, I hid myself behind some bushes. There before me, across the river were the most beautiful creatures I’d ever seen. They were conversing and laughing. Several of them disrobed and swam in the river. As I looked at them, I was amazed. They didn’t seem to be human. They looked male, but more than male. They had something more than a normal male member. It looked like a slender stalk with a flower bud on the end, and each creature’s had a different mixture of colors. They also had the appearance of being neither male nor female - or maybe both male and female. Oh, my God, I thought. They’re angels! My parents were right! This place was safe--protected by angels, no less!

The longer I watched them, the more fascinated I became. They joked and laughed, ate and drank and skinny-dipped. I never thought of angels doing such things, but then I figured if they were relegated to earth to watch over humans, they had to fill the time somehow. I was puzzled because I’d always assumed angels to be invisible to humans, but I also supposed they didn’t know anyone was observing them so they didn’t bother to hide themselves. I was riveted and I found myself having the strangest feelings. I’d never been physically attracted to anyone before, but these gorgeous beings… I found myself wondering why they’d even have sexual organs but then I remembered a rather obscure story in the Bible where the fallen angels had relations with human women and created a race of giants. How bizarre! And it was even more bizarre that I remembered it! I felt I shouldn’t be such a voyeur but I couldn’t tear myself away. I had what I figured to be an instantaneous crush on them. What kind of an idiot was I? I was sure it would be considered a sin to think of an angel in a sexual way! But then you can’t help who you’re attracted to, can you? It just happens. I couldn’t conceive of anyone not finding these creatures irresistible!

I had no inkling of how much time had passed but later the angels began to gather their things and leave the riverside. I watched until the last one left my sight. Would they come back? Could I ever look upon them again? After a short time, I decided to go back to our place, deliberately memorizing the exact spot where the angels had appeared. When I got close to the house, I hung back until I saw Beck returning. I knew if I went home without her, my parents would question me. For the time being, I decided to keep the lovely creatures to myself. I needed to see them at least one more time before even telling Beck about them. But if they came to the river again, I’d take Beck there to see them, too.

Beck walked tentatively toward the house, looking around. I came over to her and she looked relieved.

“Hey!” she said.

“I didn’t want to go in without you.”

“Thanks,” she said, patting my hand.

“What did you get up to?” I asked.

“Nothing much, but…I think Josh is my new boyfriend.”

I shook my head at her and grinned.

“He’s really good looking,” I said.

She looked at me, wide-eyed. “I didn’t think guys noticed things like that.”

“Well, I’m not blind!”

She looked at me a moment, laughed and then we went into the house.

“Where have you two been?” Our Mom asked, as she went about cooking. “You missed lunch.”

“We were making new friends,” Beck said.

Our Mom seemed pleased. She wasn’t mad or on edge or anything like she’d been at home.

“We met a nice family and a very nice boy named Josh showed Tom and me around.”

“Really! How nice.”

My sister gave me a wink. I smiled. She could be truly evil. I knew she wanted our Mom to think there was absolutely no trouble we could get into here. Then we really would have as she’d said, “carte blanche.” How did she get so diabolically clever? And why didn’t I inherit that gene?

Our Dad came home from a sort of briefing he’d gone to with the men and we all sat down to dinner. Afterwards I took my cue from Beck and helped clean up. She was really laying it on thick.

“If it’s okay, Tom and I are going back to Josh’s house. He said the view of the stars here is phenomenal!”

“Okay. Have fun.”

After we’d walked a short way, Beck gave me a devious smile and said, “Josh didn’t show us quite all the crops.”

“Huh?” I was confused.

“There’s a special one he has near the river: weed.”

“Whoa! For real? You mean marijuana?”

“That’s right: marijuana, Mary Jane, grass, ganja - well, you get the idea. He is going to show us the stars tonight, but we’ll be a little lit up ourselves.”

I giggled like a little girl. I couldn’t believe this! I’d only tried it once before a year or so ago when Beck and a couple of her girlfriends decided it would be fun to get Will and me high.

When Josh ushered us into his house, he very properly introduced us to his parents and two younger sisters, Annie and Liz. Liz was soon to turn thirteen and Annie was only seven. She gave me a big grin showing off the space where her two front baby teeth had been. I figured she gave me such a huge smile because she was a freckly ginger, too. Liz came with us as we left the house and headed for the river. She looked a lot younger than almost thirteen. She was dressed in jean capris and a t-shirt, her light brown hair in two braids. I would have figured her to be more like ten. I guessed she was a late bloomer, too.

Josh and Beck talked and laughed, holding hands and making goo-goo eyes at each other. It seemed Beck was smitten as well. I looked over and smiled at Liz who smiled back and shrugged. She seemed like a nice girl but she hadn’t said a word, yet. Maybe she was uncomfortable around the opposite sex. At least we had something in common.

Dusk was almost upon us as Josh led the way through some grasses to a clearing where there were ten or fifteen very tall and very lush marijuana plants.

“This is it!” Josh announced proudly. “You know the beauty of all this is I never have to worry about cops or feds or anything like that. No one in their right mind comes here! Present company excepted,” he added with a very handsome smile for the benefit of my sister. “Anyway, we didn’t come here willingly. We were dragged here, some of us kicking and screaming. When something fucks up your life, you find a way to deal with it. This is mine and I’m happy to share it with a select few. Oh, don’t tell anyone about this, okay.”

My sister and I nodded in agreement.

“Only three other guys and the four of us here know about it. No one else would even recognize it. They’d just think it was some regular weed that grows by the river. It couldn’t be more perfect.”

Josh went over to a tree with a small knothole in it and took out a bag and a pipe.

“I keep a stash of already dried pot here. There’s no way to get cigarette papers. None of these fanatics smoke, so I made a pipe. Well, let’s enjoy!”

We sat together further down the river at a high rock outcropping where we could have a panoramic view of the night sky. We passed the pipe around and I began to feel really mellow and high. As night fell I saw that Josh hadn’t exaggerated when he’d spoken of the view of the stars. You could see what must have been billions! The Milky Way was in clear view as well as all the summer constellations. We even saw some shooting stars. It was something to behold. I think I’d have felt almost as high without the dope. Being from the city, we’d never seen anything like this before.

After a while, Josh and Beck walked off together. Beck looked back over her shoulder at me and said, “We’ll be back.”

Left alone with Liz who still hadn’t said word one, I felt very nervous and extremely awkward. At first we just sat there in a very uncomfortable silence. Maybe being stoned helped, but I decided to start to break the obvious ice.

“How long have you been here?”

“About six months.”

Her pleasantly low voice belied her childlike appearance.

“Our parents volunteered to help with the final preparations, so…”

“I’m guessing you’re not any happier about being here than Beck and I are.”

“My life wasn’t all that great before. I mean I wasn’t, you know, popular or anything, but what the fuck is the deal with this place? I thought my parents had lost their minds.”

“What did they tell you about their decision to come here?”

She heaved a sigh and looked straight into my eyes, her disdain very plainly showing in her own.

“That there were human-killing immortal demon beings that were out to get us.”

I laughed. “But seriously, Beck checked it out. It’s at least partly true. I mean I’m sure they’re not demons but there were reports of bands of guys destroying cities and stuff.”

“So crime’s out of hand. That’s no reason for our parents to freak and take us into the middle of bleeding nowhere.”

“I can’t argue with that. Did you always belong to the church?”

“No. When our parents heard of the plague that was going to end life as we know it, they decided the cure was to get religion. She used the quotations gesture. “And now,” she stretched her arms out, “here we are.”

“Our story’s pretty much the same.”

“Let’s light up that pipe.”

Liz and I smoked some more, got better acquainted and gazed at the stars for I have no idea how long, when finally Josh and Beck returned. Beck grabbed the pipe and said, “Looks like you two had a high time. Did you leave any for us?”

We laughed and after Josh and Beck smoked some more and were mellow, too, Josh said, “I hate to say it, but I guess we should head back.” Then he added, “Well, maybe we should stay long enough for the high to wear off a little.”

We all giggled, stoned, and agreed.

Later, when we got to Josh and Liz’s house, Josh and Beck kissed goodbye as Liz and I stood there feeling embarrassed and awkward. Suddenly to my surprise, Liz spoke.

“I had fun tonight. I’d really like us to be friends, okay?”

“Uh, yeah! Yeah, I’d like that, too.”

We smiled at each other and when Josh and Beck were finished saying goodnight, we left for our house.

I looked teasingly to Beck and said, “You and Josh were gone for quite a while…”

She smiled at me and answered, “We just made out - that’s all. He’s really a nice guy. I like him a lot.”

“That’s good. Liz and I made friends.”

“Just friends?”

“Yeah. That’s what we both feel comfortable with.”

“Okay then, great!”

When we got to our place, both our parents were asleep, secure in the knowledge that we couldn’t possibly get into any trouble or danger here. Beck and I went to our rooms content. I never thought I’d have even one happy day here. How different things had turned out from what I’d expected. I liked Liz and the fact that we both wanted only to be friends. And then there were the angels, the gorgeous beings I’d encountered. I decided that I would patrol the river until I found them again. As I fell asleep in my small room, looking out the window, the moon didn’t look so stark and the possibility of some happiness in this place, seemed far less impossible.

                                                                                          ~~~~* to be continued *~~~~

persephone100 — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 04:42:53 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THRIHYRNE!!!!

It's close to midnight and I hope I'm among the first to wish you the best birthday ever!! And to thank you for the gift you give me every day -- that of being my friend! <3 Thank you also for all the lovely thoughtful and helpful things you do for me. I hope this birthday and the coming year give you only happiness, love and good things!!

Much love and (((((((((((many warm birthday hugs!!)))))))))))))))

Chrysalis Post 2

persephone100 — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 23:00:23 GMT

The next morning after breakfast, we resumed our journey. I wasn’t sure exactly where we were going or even where my own destination was but we were moving away from Phesbe and that was all that mattered to me.

After several days travel we came to a settlement called Midway. It wasn’t fancy but the hara there seemed friendly and welcoming. We went to stay at a sort of hotel and Cal paid the hara there for a room. It had two double beds and I supposed Cobweb and I would share one and Cal and Pellaz would have the other one.

I looked to him, not knowing what to think or say.

“I don’t have any money.” I said to him.

He shrugged. “Well, I can’t expect you to stay outside can I?”

“I can’t pay you back--”

He shook his head. “It’s just a night in a room. Don’t sweat it.”

“Thank you,” I said, my head down, my eyes lowered.

“It’s no big deal,” he responded. “We’re paying for the two beds anyway whether one har sleeps in it or two hara.”

Pell took my arm and said, “It’s okay. Come on.”

We went to our room and put our things down and got settled in for the night.

“I’m hungry,” Pellaz stated. “Let’s go find a place to eat.”

As Cal and Pell made ready to leave, I lay on the bed. Pellaz looked to me.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

I didn’t know what to say. I still had a few provisions but no money.

“I’m…I’m okay.”

“Bullshit!” Cal said, to my surprise. “Quit being a martyr. Get the fuck up and come with us.”

“Uh, okay!” I said happily. “But I don’t have any money.”

Cal sniffed and shook his head.

“Yeah, we know. Just come with us and shut up!”

Pell laughed, shaking his head and reached out to take my hand, then turning to Cobweb he asked, “What can we bring you?

“Anything as long as it’s accompanied with sheh.”

Pellaz smiled and nodded to him as we left.

As we walked through the settlement we passed several eating establishments. Finally, Cal said, “This one looks good. What do you think?”

Pellaz nodded and we went inside and found a table. It seemed to be a pleasant place, nothing fancy but I certainly didn’t expect fancy, coming from Phesbe.

We ordered ale and then studied the menu. I started to feel very awkward again because I didn’t have any means of paying. I’d brought things with me to share on the road but I’d never had any currency of any kind. I started to feel strange because of that and because I’d been nothing more than a whore. A whore that wasn’t even paid. I had no means of contributing in the real harish world. Suddenly, I couldn’t handle things and I excused myself, running outside to get some air and try to get myself together.

I went out behind the establishment and sat on the grass. I put my head in my hands and tried to think of what to do. I couldn’t handle it outside of Phesbe. Maybe I shouldn’t have left. Maybe I was just a kanene who belonged there because I couldn’t make it anywhere else. What was I going to do? I didn’t know how to make it on my own. I’d been told what to do all my life--in the orphanage and in Phesbe. I hated it but I didn’t know anything else. I broke down and started to cry. They were tears of fear and insecurity. A wave of uncertainty and self-loathing engulfed me and I was overwhelmed.

My tearful pity party was interrupted by Pellaz putting his hand on my back.

“Ambrosia, it’s alright really. We know you don’t have any money. Cal and I have both been in the same position. Please come back and eat. I know you have some things to work through but you still need to eat and sleep. We understand. Cal may not seem to but he does,” Pellaz said with a chuckle. “Please come and eat with us.”

I nodded and let Pell take me by the hand and lead me back inside. His kindness made me feel bad for taking aruna with Cal. Was I destined forever to feel guilty?

We went back inside and sat at the table with Cal. He looked up from his menu at Pellaz and me.

“Is the drama over? Can we order now?”

Pellaz nodded, smiling at Cal as I sat, feeling awkward. A slim, friendly-looking serving har approached our table.

“What can I get you, Tiahaara.?”

Cal answered first. “I’ll have the steak and potatoes.”

“I’ll have the chicken and rice,” Pellaz said.

The serving har looked to me.

“Just the soup,” I said.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Cal exclaimed. “He’ll have the steak, too. And some sheh all around.”

The serving har bowed and left.

“Thank you,” I said.

Cal heaved a sigh. “You shared all your provisions with us so please stop being such a fucking martyr! You’re free now. You don’t have to answer to anyhar. Just--just stop being like that!”

“I’m sorry--”

“And stop being sorry. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

I felt berated but on another level, also empowered.

I nodded to Cal and we sat making small talk waiting for our meal.

When it arrived, I enjoyed it with relish. I also especially enjoyed and indulged in the sheh, so I was feeling rather tipsy by the end of our meal. I guess I had needed to forget my troubles and also to fortify myself for the future; a future I had no idea about.

After our meal, Pellaz got a bag of food and a bottle to take to Cobweb and we went back to our room where I pretty much passed out on my bed next to Cobweb.   Later on, Cal and Pellaz talking quietly woke me up and I couldn’t help but overhear what they said.

“I know, Cal but I thought you were a little hard on him at dinner and a little rude.”

“He’s never going to make it on his own if he doesn’t grow some balls, get some confidence. Hara who act like victims usually become one. It’s a cruel world and he needs to toughen up if he’s going to survive in it. We’re not doing him any favors by showing we feel sorry for him.”

“But you do, don’t you?”

Cal sighed. “Of course I do. He’s had a fucked up life so far. Deep down he’s got to be strong to have lived through it, but he doesn’t realize it or know how to tap into it or something but it’s got to be there. But as long as he sees himself as weak, he’ll be just that. And when some hara sense that, they take advantage.”

“But how can he do that?”

“He just has to try to draw on his inner strength and at least act like he’s confident when he deals with other hara, put on a front, if nothing else.”

“You’re good at acting, Cal. Not all of us are.”

“Shut up and go to sleep, Pell.”

I heard Pell snicker.

The following morning I awoke to find Pellaz performing yet another healing on Cobweb. I regarded them groggily, still sleepy and probably a bit hung over. I lay back down, wanting nothing more than additional time to sleep.

When I awoke again Cal and Pell were gone and Cobweb was lying with his back to me, I assumed asleep. I stretched, yawning and sat up. Cobweb turned over and looked up at me.

“Are you feeling any better?” I asked.

“A bit. I was able to sleep last night.”

Since Cobweb seemed to feel a little better, I ventured a question to him.

“Do you know where Pellaz learned healing?”

“No. He mentioned taking instruction under a Nahir-Nuri, but was very vague.”

I was almost afraid to pose my next query, not wanting my probably impossible dream to be destroyed.

“Can any har elevate his caste?”

“Yes, under a proper instructor.”

My mind reeled at the revelation. “Really?! Anyhar?!”

“Of course. The potential is in all of us. We just need to unlock it.”

I was astounded. It really was true. Even a whore like me had the potential.

“Where does one find a teacher?” I asked excitedly.

“I don’t know. I’m sure there are a lot of them out there in different towns and settlements. The larger ones probably have more but a lot of them like to keep to a more private setting where it’s more peaceful.” He sighed. “Unfortunately, Varrs don‘t put much stock in such things but I’m not originally Varr. I’m Sulh. I’ve always been deeply devoted to things of the mind and spirit.”

Cobweb gave me a searching look.

“Are you interested in finding an instructor, a hienama?”

My face grew hot. I was embarrassed to admit that I, Finnan’s whore, would dare to aspire to such a goal.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Cobweb said with gentle reprisal. “There’s absolutely no reason you couldn’t--” he hesitated, turning my face to his with his long slender fingers, “or shouldn’t follow that path. I know what you’re thinking but you don’t belong to Finnan anymore, no more than I belong to Spinel. Phesbe is behind us now. We’re free to choose any kind of life we want. I want to go back to my family and my home. If you want to find a place to elevate your caste, that’s exactly what you should do. In fact, before we leave why don’t you ask around? I kind of doubt they have an hienama here but they probably have or know of a healer who would be the most likely har to know of one. They must have some har they call on if a har is injured.”

He studied me a moment and asked, “Do you know what caste level you are?”

I was totally confused. “Nothing. I don’t have a level.”

“Yes. You do,” Cobweb replied, an almost playful smile gracing his lips. “Your caste is Kaimana and your level is Ara. You’re an Aralid.”

I was completely bewildered. “But…I, I’ve never even seen a hienama. How--?”

Cobweb actually grinned, showing his perfect white teeth. “A har becomes an Aralid as soon as he’s been incepted,” he explained. “All hara have a caste and a level.”

I was incredulous. I had a caste level! And it sounded so refined.

“What does it mean exactly? And what were the terms again?”

“Any incepted har is caste Kaimana, level Ara and is called an Aralid. Ara means altar and is significant of a time of learning and preparation. You know, like you’re symbolically approaching the altar of knowledge. When you find a hienama, tell him your level and he’ll know that you’re ready to progress by becoming prepared and being instructed. Different tribes have slightly different attitudes and outlooks on caste but it’s possible to progress in any tribe or system.”

“Do I have to admit to the hienama that I’m Irakka? He’ll probably tell me to get lost.”

“Tell him you were incepted by the Irakka but that you had no choice and you’ve disowned them as your tribe. Most hara of high caste will understand, I would hope.”

As I tried to process all Cobweb had told me, I looked gratefully into his eyes but no words were coming to me.

“You’re welcome,” he said with a knowing smile.

I hurriedly dressed and went to find some food and ask around.

“I’ll be back soon. Can I bring you anything?”

“No. Cal and Pellaz are getting something for me.”

Before leaving, I turned back to Cobweb. I grinned excitedly and opened the door.

“Wait!” Cobweb called. “Won’t you be needing some money?”

“Oh…uh…”

Cobweb chuckled at me. “Cal said to tell you to take some from their stash. It’s in Cal’s knapsack.”

A bit embarrassed but very grateful, I took what I needed.

I went into the first eatery I came to, wanting to hurry. As I enjoyed some ham, eggs and biscuits I thought about Cobweb and all he’d said to me. I wondered how he was so extremely intuitive. I didn’t believe he’d invade my thoughts but I probably wouldn’t have known it if he had. I remembered hearing him talk to Pell about having a son. He must be an amazing hostling. I couldn’t believe I could really embark on elevating my caste and, thanks to Cobweb, I began to believe that it was really attainable to me. Possibilities began to swarm in my mind. I could be a healer, or a teacher, or--

“More coffee, tiahaar?”

“Uh, no. No thank you.” My reverie interrupted, I hurriedly finished and headed out.

I walked up the main road of Midway where there were some shops, eateries and bars. There were a few outdoor vendors, too. Near the end of the area was a shop that sold herbs. It seemed to me to be the most likely place to ask. As the bell tinkled above the door, a tall noble-looking har with long black hair stood behind the counter, motioning me in.

“Good day, tiahaar, what can I do for you?”

I felt bad that I couldn’t purchase anything, but decided to ask anyway.

“Well, um--I just need to ask a question. Is that okay?”

He smiled widely. “Of course. Go ahead.”

“I wondered if you know of a healer here or close by.”

“We have one here but he’s not super high caste or anything. He’s an adequate healer. Are you hurt?”

“No, no, nothing like that.” I sighed. “I’m really looking for a hienama and I was told that maybe if you had a healer he would know where to find one.”

“A hienama, eh?” he laughed.

Oh, gods! Even he could tell that my wanting to see a hienama was a joke!

I was just about to turn and run when he spoke.

“You don’t need a healer for that. My brother’s a hienama. He lives in Lindentown. It’s a fair-sized settlement a day northeast of here. You just follow the road out of town that way.” He pointed. “And at the fork in the road go left. It’s a good road and an easy trip. Keep following the road until you get to Lindentown. Ask around. Most hara there know him. His name is Okwahn.”

“Really? Just a day away? Thank you, tiahaar. Thank you!”

I approached him and shook his hand.

“Good luck,” he said.

As I opened the door he called, “Wait! I can’t guarantee he’ll be able to take you on as a student but tell him you met me and I directed you. It might help. My name is Seneca.”

“Thanks! Thanks a lot!!”

I was exhilarated and had so much hope in my heart for my future. I felt like I was about to be reborn, like I was in a chrysalis about to emerge.

I ran up the road and burst into the room, out of breath, where Cal, Pellaz and Cobweb stared at me in surprise.

“I found one!” I said, breathlessly. “There’s a hienama in a place called Lindentown, just a day northeast of here. I met his brother and he said to mention that he’d sent me and that it might help!”

Cobweb grinned at me. “Well, sounds like you’re on your way already. Are you sure you can make it there alone?”

“Don’t worry,” I quickly interjected. “It sounds simple. I can go alone. You’ve all done more than enough for me already.”

“How will you live?” Pell asked.

“I can work. I’m sure there are lots of jobs in a town like that. Really, I need to learn to make it on my own and I’d like to start now.”

They all looked at each other.

After a few moments, Cal said, “Let us give you a little money to start you off.”

“And take your provisions with you,” Pell added.

“You’d be a fool to turn down their offers,” Cobweb added.

I nodded. “Okay. Yes, I need all the help I can get and I greatly appreciate it and all you’ve done for me. Thank you.”

I stayed with them for the rest of the day and overnight and we parted ways the next morning.

As I was gathering my belongings and what was left of my provisions, Pellaz came over to me, gave me some money and a hug.

“Good luck,” he said.

Cal then came over to me. “Here,” he said handing me a bottle of sheh. “You’ll probably need it,” he added with a smile. “And…you really need to try to be confident. If you don’t toughen up and try to be or at least look strong--”

“Cal,” I interrupted him. “I overheard what you told Pellaz about me the other night.”

They both stared silently.

“I’m sorry. I woke up and couldn’t help it…Anyway you’re right and I’ll do my best.”

Cobweb beckoned me over to him and I sat next to him on the bed as he gave me a blessing of protection, “To the best of my ability in my weakened condition,” he said.

“Thank you.”

“I hope all goes well for you, Ambrosia,” Cobweb said.

I smiled at him then looked at the other two as well.

“Thank you all but I decided to change my name. I didn’t want to keep the one Finnan gave me. I’m Chrysalis now. My name is Chrysalis.”

All three regarded me and Cobweb spoke.

“A very appropriate name for you. You’ve found your wings, now fly.”

I smiled at them, left and closed the door behind me.

As I walked down the road - the road to my future - I pondered Cobweb’s last encouraging words to me. I really did feel as if I’d grown wings and that my whole stay with Cal, Pellaz and Cobweb had been like my time in a chrysalis; the time of my changing into a new har on my way to who I’d become.


                                                              THE END
                                   <<<<<<<<<<<<********>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Chrysalis Post 1

persephone100 — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 00:03:48 GMT

                                                                 CHRYSALIS

Author: Persephone100
Characters: An OC, Cal , Pellaz & Cobweb
Beta: thrihyrne
Rating: NC17
Spoilers: Enchantments of Flesh and Spirit
Synopsis: A har incepted and owned by an Irraka leader wants to escape to a new life using Cal and Pellaz to help him.
Disclaimer: All the characters, their world and all things Wraeththu belong to Storm Constantine, to whom I am very grateful.

I sat around the bonfire, watching the embers float skyward, listening to the drunken singing and drumming. Some of the tribe had returned from a raiding spree today and come away with a good deal of plunder, including twenty or thirty young men and boys to incept. I’d seen the fear and panic in their eyes. Understandable, but I hadn’t felt that way at all when I was taken. As a human, I’d been raised in an orphanage with no knowledge of how I’d ended up there. Either my parents were dead or too screwed up to care for me; I never knew which and ultimately, it didn’t really matter. I’d lived there since I was a baby and had learned to adapt to life in such a place--survival of the fittest. So when the Irraka invaded our town and took us boys away, I figured it was really a matter of a change of scenery--nothing more. Actually, I had it easy here compared to most of the others. I’m a natural blonde, something one of their leaders, a har called Finnan, found irresistible so I joined the ranks of his consorts, becoming his favorite. My only responsibility and purpose in life was to take aruna with him. I realized I was nothing more than a kanene but I lived in the biggest, most ornate building in this once-human city and I got better food and trinkets than his other favorites. Not only that, I got to bathe regularly, something a lot of our tribe members didn’t consider a priority.

This “palace” I lived in was a crumbling rococo style building that had probably been beautiful once upon a time. It was the pride of Phesbe, the disgusting town the Irraka made their home about two years before I’d been brought there. I’d never seen such a crappy place. I claimed a corner of the “mansion” for myself, keeping it relatively clean. Hara laughed and made fun of me for it but I didn’t care. My lover (master? owner?) bragged to the others about how sweet I smelled. He spoke to them about me as though I wasn’t there or couldn’t understand his words. Once he’d said to one of his friends that he’d like to “get sons on me.” I vowed at that moment that it would never happen. I’d see to it. We pretty much lived in a state of hopelessness and squalor. I didn’t think any place could be worse than the orphanage. I was wrong. However, since I did have it better than most, I tried to make the best of things. I’d often think of leaving, of running away and never looking back but where would I go? I didn’t even know exactly where I was in relationship to things so I did as I’d always done; I put up and shut up.

“Ambrosia?” It was my master’s voice. He’d named me after I was incepted and he’d claimed me for his own. I was lucky that he, at least, bathed. I guess he didn’t want me to be repulsed by him. It helped. He was never violent to me but obviously I was a possession. No respect was given to me. Still, in the particular environment I‘d been placed in, I considered myself lucky. Finnan was besotted with me and as long as that was true, things would be as good for me as they could get in this place.

“Over here,” I called, with more than a modicum of reluctance.

“There you are, my treasure.”

He approached and sat down next to me. He took me into his arms and grabbed my hair to turn my face to him and then he kissed me hard. I acquiesced, the flames from the bonfire creating the only heat I felt.

“Are you having a good time?” he asked.

I nodded. He was obviously very drunk. I knew I had to get myself to the same state so I reached over and grabbed a bottle off the ground next to a passed out har and gulped it down.

“You deserve better than that. I’ll get you some of the good stuff.”

He left and I hoped he’d forget about me. Unfortunately, he returned about fifteen minutes later with a bottle. I’d already downed the rest of the one I’d found and was, thankfully, beginning to feel the effects.

“Here, my lovely, “ he said, handing me the bottle.

I gratefully took it. It’s not that Finnan was disgusting or ugly. He was actually one of the better-looking Irraka, with keen blue eyes and thick brown hair. But I felt nothing for him. I enjoyed aruna for its own sake and he gave it to me regularly, but I felt nothing. We shared the bottle and soon he began to touch me.

“Ambrosia, you’re so beautiful,” he murmured. “I know other hara want you but you’re mine. I incepted you. You have my blood. You belong to me.”

He drunkenly kissed and nuzzled my face. I tried not to be put off. It felt it would be very bad for me. Though he hadn’t ever hurt me, I was not foolish enough to cross him. He started to undress me right there where any har could see. It was humiliating but I had no choice. I also had no say in what role I’d take. He was always ouana. I was always soume.   He quickly took me right there in front of the bonfire. I took solace in the fact that everyhar seemed too drunk to notice. Thankfully, we usually did it in the building in the dark. Afterwards, he passed out. I put my clothes back on and drank until I couldn’t think anymore then made my way to the corner I’d made for myself and went to sleep.

The next day I woke up feeling a bit hung over. I walked, stumbling to the bathroom. I had to pass by what I considered to be the most pitiful har in Phesbe. Spinel, the main leader of the tribe, had captured a Varr after a run-in with them. The Varr had fallen and broken his leg. Spinel had left him crippled, saying he wanted to use him to have sons because he knew he was of higher caste and better blood than any Irraka. The Irraka took good care of their horses, but hara…I passed by him, hoping he’d be asleep. The times our eyes had met he’d practically burned through me with his hollow-eyed hatred. I pitied him but I couldn’t help him. Wasn’t I in almost the same situation? I think he despised me because he thought I could escape and didn’t.

As I tried to walk past him unnoticed, he rose up on one elbow and watched me. I looked away but I heard a hoarse utterance and looked back at him. He was trying to talk.

“You…” he croaked. “Get me some sheh…for the pain.” Then he hesitated. “Please.”

I could tell that it humiliated him to add that last word to the likes of me. I nodded and hurried to the bathroom and then to the room where the stash of liquor was kept. I brought him two bottles of the strongest stuff we had and set them down on the floor next to him. He opened his eyes and nodded to me. I quickly went back to my corner.

I sat there and put my face in my hands. I found myself wishing the pitiful har could just die. He looked so emaciated and miserable. It didn’t seem like any other har even noticed except for me. Was every tribe like ours? Was the world nothing but a cesspool full of hopeless hara that didn’t care about much of anything? There must be something better somewhere. I shook my thoughts away and went in search of some food.

                                                              * * * *

Several nights later as I headed to my corner, I passed by the pitiful har, as I’d come to think of him, and noticed the bottles were empty. I decided to get him a few more and I brought him some food. He stirred as I set the bottles down and then he stared at me. He looked bewildered. I think maybe he thought he was dreaming since I was actually being kind to him.

“I brought you some food, too.”

He shook his head.

“Keep the food. Leave the liquor. I don’t want to eat. I want to die.”

I nodded and took the food away. I completely understood. After taking a few steps away, I turned and looked back at him.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

He looked up and at first didn’t answer. I turned away again, but then heard him speak.

“Cobweb.”

“I’m called Ambrosia. Good night.”

Later, after Finnan had his drunken way with me, I stayed awake thinking; something I usually avoided. I wondered if I’d ever rather be dead than be here. I knew what would happen to me if I was ever injured. Even though Cobweb was a captive and not one of our own, I had no reason to think I’d be treated any better if the same thing happened to me. I’d seen wounded hara die. No har in our tribe knew anything of healing and they didn’t seem to care. You either got better or you didn’t. Even at the human orphanage, the sick ones had been taken care of. I wondered if I could leave this place. Would anyhar try to bring me back? If they did would I be punished or killed? How would I find my way? We didn’t have any maps. I rubbed at my temples and sighed. That was why I’d always avoided thinking. It only made me feel more hopeless. Better just to drink myself numb. I pried a bottle out of Finnan’s drunken hand, pushed him further out of my corner and did just that.

                                                  * * * *

A few days later, I heard a commotion in the main hall of the building. My corner was at the far end of the second floor gallery. I crept to the railing and peered over. It seemed that Spinel had brought two strangers back from the nearby deserted human town of Stoor. Even from my rather far away vantage point I could tell they were certainly not Irraka. They were clean and beautiful. One had light blonde hair and was taller than the other one, who had longer very dark hair. I couldn’t make out their exact words, but it didn’t appear as if they were prisoners. While Spinel looked to be explaining things to them, the dark-haired one looked around with obvious disgust as Spinel talked the other one’s ear off. Suddenly like a light had shone brightly into my mind a thought came to me: these two strangers--they mean there IS something better out there!

I decided I HAD to get closer. I had to hear what they were saying. I didn’t want Spinel to see me because I knew he’d shoo me away. I knew a back way down to the first floor. There was a hole in the floor at the far end of one of the second floor rooms large enough to go through. I ran there quickly and squeezed through, hanging by my hands, and dropped down onto the floor below. I made a thump, but no har paid it any serious attention. I crept as close as I dared and hid behind a broken down, half-overturned table. I could see through a crack in the tabletop and once I’d caught my breath, I could hear most of what they were saying. Spinel was telling the dark-haired har about Cobweb. Then Spinel told them how the Irraka had moved into Phesbe after the Varrs were done with it. The blond one asked Spinel a question that made my heart leap into my throat.

“Why don’t you all leave this place?”

“For what?” Spinel asked.

I held my breath, waiting for what I believed in my gut was true; waiting to hear it made real. Then the yellow-haired one spoke.

“Things are better elsewhere.”

The words rang in my head, making me dizzy with hope, fear, and fear of hoping. I collected myself so I could hear more.

The blond said it was safer further south. He spoke of a place called Greenling on the other side of the desert.

Spinel kept making all kinds of excuses for why his tribe should stay. I knew he’d never lead us there. Besides, I’d just be somehar’s whore in a nicer climate. I wanted more than that from this long life I was supposedly given.

Then they spoke of wars and tribes-- mostly the Varrs.

I heard footsteps and, much to my dismay, saw that they belonged to Finnan who was stumbling into the building. By this time it was dark and a lot of hara had come inside to pass out, roon or whatever. I couldn’t let him find me. I had to hear more. He asked somehar if he’d seen me. When the har said he hadn’t, Finnan shook his head and cursed.

“Fuck him, then. His loss. Where’s Silkka?” The har pointed upstairs. Finnan staggered up the steps, bottle in hand to go roon his second favorite and pass out until tomorrow. I couldn’t believe my luck. I was determined to stay up all night in case I could hear more.

The dark-haired har got up and went over to Cobweb. I hoped he could help him. Soon after, the blond har joined him beside cobweb’s pallet.

I couldn’t hear all their verbal exchange and I dared not leave my safe place, but it looked to me like the dark one was performing some kind of healing on his leg. I could tell he was angry that the Irraka had not tried to help Cobweb. At first it seemed that he and the dark one were arguing, but I couldn’t hear their words. Cobweb struggled to fight off the dark-haired har, who seemed to be trying to help him.

“I can’t leave. I am Spinel’s,” Cobweb said, loudly.

The dark har shouted words to him that gave me goose bumps, made me tremble, and resonated in the depths of my soul.

“What? You are no har’s. You’re just yours!”

I sat back onto the floor, weak from what I’d heard and began to cry. I tried to keep silent as the tears kept coming. Finally, most of the hara settled to sleep or were taking aruna. I heard the strangers’ muffled voices. I could move a bit closer now, so as quietly as if my life depended on it--because it did--I moved to a safe closer place.

They discussed Cobweb and his condition. The blond also said they were leaving the next morning and taking Cobweb with them because he could be useful if they ran into the Varrs. At first the dark-haired one protested but it seemed the blond convinced him. After that they quieted and slept in each other’s arms. I crawled back behind the table to think.

Tomorrow. I have to formulate some sort of plan and do everything tonight.

I spent several hours thinking and preparing. I decided to follow them without their knowing. Obviously, the blond one had a plan and I had a feeling whatever it was, it would work. I gathered what few things I owned and a few provisions, blankets and the like and went to get my horse. I quietly left the town on the north road and positioned myself on a bushy knoll where I could see the strangers pass but they couldn’t see me. I huddled there for the next few hours until dawn, adrenaline and determination keeping me alert.

When the morning came, it was dreary and overcast. I’m not sure how much later, I heard horses approaching. I looked cautiously over the knoll. There they were! The blond and dark-haired har on their horses and Cobweb hunched over on the packhorse with the luggage. My heart raced. My thoughts darted.

Would I be able to keep up with them? Would I be found out and sent back? Would I lose them and be hopelessly lost in the wild?

The only thing I was sure about now was that I’d rather die than go back. Strangely, that took away my fear and turned it to resolve. I was familiar with the twists and turns in the road for about a day’s ride, so I knew I could keep myself hidden until then and still know where they were. Where I’d go from there, I didn’t know, but I was free and that felt incredibly inspiring.

                                                         * * * *

The first day I’d trailed them successfully. They didn’t stop until almost dusk, but it seemed that they’d made a fire, so when I saw it from a distance I assumed it was theirs. I got to thinking that I might have been mistaken, so after securing my horse, I crept toward the light on foot. When I got close enough but still under cover, I saw that it was indeed the strangers and Cobweb. I dared not get close enough to hear them but went back to my own camp, secure in the knowledge that I’d at least been able to follow them for a day.

I didn’t dare make a fire and I’d provided for that fact by bringing provisions that didn’t have to be cooked. It was a bit chilly, but tolerable. I let the fact that I belonged to no har warm me. At first I was afraid to go to sleep because I worried that they’d leave before I awoke and I’d lose them. However, I knew that would be true every night I tried to track them so I decided I had to sleep and let things be as they would be. Strangely enough, I felt completely warmed and slept well.

The following morning I awoke with a start. The sun seemed fairly high to me and I feared I’d be too far behind my unwitting guides. I quickly mounted my horse and set off galloping. Several hours later I caught up with them. After almost fainting from relief I slowed up so I’d stay out of sight. At least I’d successfully gotten another day further from Phesbe.

That night the idea came to me to secure my horse at a safe distance but sleep alone within earshot of the strangers. That way I’d hear them wake up and watch until they left, then go fetch my horse and follow. I was able to sleep soundly after coming up with my new strategy.

I followed them for several more days, secure in the knowledge that I could keep up with them, keep my distance and still not be detected. Unexpectedly, that changed.

The next morning, I was sleeping soundly, certain that I could successfully follow them, when I was rudely awakened. I felt pressure on my chest and awoke to see the blond har staring at me, his booted foot heavily pressing on me. I looked into his intense blue-violet eyes.

“Why are you following us, har?”

I put my hands up in surrender.

“I, I just wanted to escape from Phesbe. I didn’t know how to do it or which way to go. I decided to follow you and see where you went. I don’t want any trouble. I just wanted to get away.”

“What’s your name?”

“Ambrosia.”

“You look like an Irraka whore. Are you sending messages via mind touch to your paramour?”

“Paramour?”

“Do you belong to Spinel?”

I tried to shove his foot off me and said loudly, “I don’t belong to anyhar, now!”

The dark haired har came over to us and then I heard Cobweb call to the two hara.

“Leave him alone! He’s okay. He’s the only har who showed me any kindness in that hellhole!”

The blond one looked over to Cobweb.

“I know him. He brought me liquor when I asked and then he brought me some without me asking, and some food. He took the food away when I told him I didn’t want it, that I wanted to die. If he says he just wanted to escape Phesbe, I believe him.”

The dark one looked at me with compassion, the blond one with suspicion. Finally the blond took his foot off my chest and stepped away.

“Do you have provisions?” he asked.

I nodded. “I’d be glad to share. I have liquor.”

The blond smiled. “Well then, welcome to our little band of travelers.”

I stood up, retrieved my horse and joined the other three. After we’d been riding along for a while, the dark haired one spoke.

“I’m Pellaz. That’s Cal.” He pointed to the blond. “And you know Cobweb.”

“I’m called Ambrosia.”

“Nice to meet you,” Pellaz said.

“This isn’t a fucking tea party,” Cal interjected. “Keep your eye out for anything suspicious.”

Cal rode on ahead.

“He’s a little intense at times,” Pellaz said, smiling. “You’ll get used to him.”

I managed a smile to Pellaz.

We rode on for a day and stopped at dusk to make camp. Cal came over to me.

“What food have you got to contribute?”

“I have dried meat, apples, cheese, nuts, some bread and liquor.”

“Well, maybe I’ll decide to like you after all.”

“Here. Take it. It’s yours.”

He relented a bit.

“Well, we have enough for dinner. I’ll take you up on your offer to share the liquor, though.”

After dinner, we sat together, sharing a bottle of sheh around a fire. Cobweb still seemed to be in a lot of pain. Cal and Pellaz went off on their own for a while and Cobweb and I were left alone.

“Has Pellaz been able to help you?” I asked, apprehensively.

“Yes, a bit. I feel stronger.”

“Good. I, I’m sorry I took the food away. At the time--”

“You did exactly what I wanted you to do. I would have rather died than become a crippled ‘heir factory’ for Spinel.” He huffed. “Heir to what?” he said under his breath with disgust. “Anyway, you have nothing to be sorry for. I know you understand. You were ‘owned,’ too, weren’t you?”

I nodded. “Yes. I was Finnan’s favorite. I’m not proud of it. I just did what I had to do to survive and be able to stand it there.”

Cobweb gave me a puzzling smile.

“But you took an enormous chance, leaving there to follow us.”

“I didn’t have the guts to leave on my own. I had no idea where to go. I was afraid. I took the only chance I had.”

“It still took courage to do what you did.”

I shook my head, smiling. It felt satisfying to have earned a bit of respect from Cobweb.

A half hour or so later, I heard Cal and Pellaz approaching and turned to see Cal with his arm around Pellaz. Pellaz’s face was flushed and I assumed they’d gone off to take aruna.

“Hey,” Cal said. “Where’s some more of that liquor you promised us?”

I went to my belongings to fetch it.

We all sat around the fire passing the bottle until we were ready to sleep.

Very early the next morning we resumed our journey. I noticed Cobweb was hunched over and seemed to be in a lot of pain. I pulled my horse up beside him.

“Would you like some liquor? It might help the pain.”

He nodded. I handed a bottle to him and he drank. He offered it back to me.

“You can keep it,” I said.

“Thank you.”

At night, Pellaz performed healing on Cobweb’s leg. I was mystified. He must be of very high caste to be able to do that. I assumed Cobweb and Cal to be of high caste, too, but I supposed Cobweb was too severely weakened by what happened to him in Phesbe to be able to heal himself. I began to think about our potential. Did every har have the potential to elevate their caste? That would be awesome! I had to find out more and get to a place where I could advance. If it was possible for me, it would become my goal in life. To advance and maybe to be a healer. Oh well, I was probably dreaming. After all, the only “skill” I had was to be a concubine. No skill at all really. All I had to do was be there. I sighed. I guessed some hara were cut out for higher things and some were not. I fell asleep thinking I’d be better off facing reality than dreaming.

                                                      * * * *

The next night after our meal, we again sat around the fire. Cobweb was asleep, or at least resting, and Pellaz was asleep, his head in Cal’s lap as he sat cross-legged beside me. Cal poked the fire and then looked over at me, making me feel a bit intimidated. He’d seemed to stop being suspicious of me, but I could feel his disdain for me, probably because I’d been a concubine. I squirmed, feeling self-conscious. Finally, he spoke.

“So. How did you end up in Phesbe?”

I looked into the fire.

“I’d been in a boy’s orphanage in a town that was raided by the Irraka. They took all of us with them to Phesbe and incepted us.”

“How did you end up an Irraka whore?” he asked with a smirk.

I looked him squarely in the eye, incensed.

“I became a whore because I had no choice!”

“Hara always have a choice,” he said with a smug half-grin.

“Yeah. I had a choice. Be Finnan’s consort or fucking die! What would you have chosen?”

He shrugged.

“Fuck you!” I said and turned away from him, trying to quell my anger.

“Don’t be such a martyr,” he remarked.

I turned back to him ready to spit in his face, when he chuckled and said, “I was just feeling you out. Obviously you hated being Finnan’s concubine.”

I took a deep breath.

“Well, you kind of struck a nerve. I had it pretty good there, for Phesbe, anyway. I guess I did sell myself.”

“Maybe we all do in one way or another,” he said cryptically, staring into the flames.

“Do you think it was cowardly of me not to leave on my own?”

“I think it was smart. If you’d left on your own, you’d probably have died. Either you’d have been hopelessly lost or attacked by some tribe or other. You may have even ended up a whore for some other tribal leader.” He looked me up and down. “You definitely have what it takes to be a leader’s whore. Are you a natural blond?”

“Are you?”

He laughed, good-naturedly. “Okay. Truce!” He held up his hands.

I couldn’t help but smile.

“And yes, I am,” he said, grinning.

“So am I.”

“Maybe we should start a club.”

I laughed, feeling much more at ease with him.

“I’m not asking this to be a smart ass, really. I just want to know. What was it like being there, being Finnan’s, well, ‘lover?’”

“Thanks for the euphemistic phrasing of your query, but I was never his lover. He owned me, plain and simple. And if I knew what was good for me, I wouldn’t dare cross him or refuse him. He incepted me, he named me and he claimed me. In Irraka society, that was all there was to it.”

I sighed. “I admit that I let things be as they would be because it made life easy for me, so in that context, yes, I sold myself.”

“Was he abusive to you?”

“No. He never laid a hand on me. I just didn’t like being owned, being expected to be soume all the time. He just--” I stopped short, feeling like I’d said too much to this enigmatic, yet somewhat disquieting stranger.

“Have you ever been ouana?”

I blushed and looked at the ground. I couldn’t believe that a whore like me could still blush but I did.

“Only once, when I dared to take aruna with a traveler who was passing through Phesbe. Luckily, I didn’t get caught. It probably would have cost me my life.”

Cal looked at me with a completely different demeanor.

“You’re not cowardly at all. That took guts. So did leaving Phesbe alone to follow us. You’ve really only been ouana once in your harish life?”

I nodded.

He gave me an unreadable look.

“Would you like to be ouana again?”

I wasn’t sure what he was proposing.

“Yes. Since I’m free I suppose aruna roles will be up to me from now on.”

Cal gently moved out from under Pellaz without waking him and moved closer to me. I felt excited, afraid and guilty. If he initiated aruna with me I knew I wouldn’t resist but I didn’t want to cause a rift between him and Pellaz. I liked them both and didn’t want to cause any trouble.

“I could be soume for you,” Cal offered. “Truth be known, I prefer it and would welcome the opportunity.”

“What about Pellaz? I don’t want to come between you two.”

“You won’t. I love Pellaz with all my heart. This would just be an encounter between two hara. You and me. Can you handle that?”

“Yes, I can,” I said with a smile. “And I promise, I won’t say a word.”

Cal scooted over next to me and pressed his lips to mine. He smelled so fragrant, fresh and sweet. We shared breath as our tongues brushed together. He tasted of sweet grass and sunlight. I sent him images of the only beauty in life that I’d known: deep green waves on white beaches and fresh sea breezes-- remembered visions of a one-day trip to the beach we’d taken at the orphanage. He slid his hands under my shirt and I reveled in his touch. I’d never desired a har before except for the one time encounter with the stranger. I put my arms around him and lost myself in his images. I began to breathe harder as we caressed and dreamed together. He parted our lips and began to unbutton my shirt. I ran my hands into his hair but then I had to say something.

“Shouldn’t…“ I said breathlessly. “Shouldn’t we go somewhere more private?”   After all, we were still in front of the fire beside Pellaz and Cobweb.

“If it makes you more comfortable,” Cal said.

We rose and moved a short distance away into a wooded area. We lay once again on the soft ground and shared breath once more. Cal removed my shirt and kissed my neck and chest, taking a nipple into his mouth and biting it gently. I was beside myself with desire for him. I moaned as he bit and suckled. He undid my pants and deftly slid them off. He quickly shed his clothes and lay back down beside me, caressing my ouana-lim with his talented fingers.

“Mmmm,” he purred. Your ouana-lim is beautiful. I’ve never seen one like it. Blue-violet and gold. Exquisite,” he murmured.

I slid my fingers to his soume-lam. It was wet and slick. I’d only once before experienced anything like this. His movements and moans fueled my desire. I instinctively moved down his body to put my lips and tongue to his soume-lam. The taste and feel was so enticing, so arousing. I’d only ever felt these desirous inclinations one time and this was even more stimulating. I felt my ouana-lim harden and relished the rare and irresistible feeling.

Soon he coaxed me back to his lips as we passionately kissed. With heavy-lidded eyes and a smile he moved down my aching body and took my ouana-lim into his mouth. As he pleasured me skillfully I moaned and writhed, experiencing a degree of pleasure I’d never known before. I almost lost it but Cal moved back up and said into my ear, “Take me. Come inside me.”

He lay on his back and I positioned myself above him. I looked into his eyes before I entered him, marveling at their unique violet hue as overwhelming sensations of need and gratitude flooded my being.

I wordlessly speared into him, the indescribable euphoric waves of pleasure overtaking me. I began to move and to thrust into him, the relatively alien feeling of being ouana consuming me. I moved a fairly short time, drinking in his moans and pleasured noises, burying my face in his sweet-smelling neck and hair. When the climax came, my body convulsed in ecstasy, Cal’s internal orgasmic spasms crowning my completion. It had been such a visceral, yet somehow also ethereal arunic experience.

It was a while before I could speak or move but when I could, I cuddled close to Cal and said into his ear, “Thank you. It was marvelous, unbelievable, perfect.”

“Mmmm, I enjoyed myself, too. You were something else.”

“I was desperate,” I said, only half joking.

Cal laughed. “Well, then, I guess I like desperate.”

I laughed, too, kissing him on the mouth.

“I guess we’d better get back and go to sleep,” he said.

“Yeah,” I answered. “And don’t worry. This will remain our secret.”

Cal smiled and said, “I’ll probably tell Pellaz about this sometime.”

After we’d dressed, we went back to the fire. Pellaz and Cobweb were still there, sleeping. Cal lay down next to Pellaz and winked at me. I smiled and went to my sleeping place, content and encouraged.

                                                                                    >>>>**to be continued***<<<<

A Wonderful Weekend !

persephone100 — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 03:50:19 GMT

I just wanted to say what a great and fun weekend I had! I got to spend a few days with thrihyrne last weekend. We went roller skating, saw a movie - Inception - toured the Grand Caverns, went to a great used book store and talked and talked. I had the greatest time! It was also a pleasure to meet her family including Taffy the dog and Midnight the cat. My only regret is that we didn't take any pictures! Hopefully, we'll get another chance!

Briar's Tale Post 3

persephone100 — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 15:55:35 GMT

Several evenings later when Naemien and I were eating dinner he began discussing business with me. I decided the time was right to bring Andwin to his attention.

“Things are really going well. I’m going to take on some new hara.”

“I guess that means some of your loyal employees will move up a notch.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“You know, just sort of through the grapevine, I’ve heard that a har named Andwin showed some promise.”

“Andwin? Oh, yes. Yes he has. He’s gone the extra mile for me quite a few times since I hired him. He seems ambitious, too.”

“Do you think he would be a good candidate for a better position?”

“Yeah, sure he would. I’ll mention it to him at the next meeting.”

I smiled to myself, thinking how happy this would make Andwin, but I didn’t think I should act like it was a done deal just yet. I didn’t want him to be disappointed. With Naemien, you never knew.

The next time we were together, I told Andwin what had transpired but warned him not to count on it until he heard it officially from Naemien. He was still ecstatic and thanked me profusely.

Naemien called a meeting about a week later and informed Andwin that he would be in charge of four hara, giving him more power and more money. However, I didn’t find that out until the next time Andwin and I saw each other. He’d sent a har to discreetly tell me that he’d like me to come over to his place, so that evening I went to see him. When he opened the door, he presented me with a beautiful bouquet of a dozen velvety black roses and a very passionate kiss.

“Naemien put me in charge of four hara and I get paid more, too. And I owe it all to you.” He kissed me again.

“Not all,” I replied. “You’ve worked hard. You earned it yourself.”

“I know, but I’m sure your efforts on my behalf sealed the deal. Really, Briar…thank you.”

“My pleasure,” I said, as I put my hands on his hips.

“Let’s celebrate!” he said.

He treated me to dinner at a very nice restaurant and then we went back to his place, where he asked me to sit on the bed and gave me a mysterious smile. I wondered what was up. He took a small box out of a drawer and gave it to me.

“This is for you.”

I opened it to find a beautiful silver chain.

“Oh, it’s gorgeous! Thank you!”

Thinking it was a necklace, I began to fasten it around my neck.

“No,” he said, smiling. He unbuttoned my shirt and slipped it off my shoulders, then laying me back on the bed, he slid off my pants.

“It goes here.” He put it around my waist, kissing my stomach.

“Mmmm…it’s beautiful…I love it…” I began to breathe harder as he moved his lips up my body to place them on mine. As we kissed and shared breath, I lost myself in his images of blooming flowers and petals swirling into a rippling pool. I became ouana and he gave himself to me with complete abandon. It was so satisfying and the evening had been so wonderful, so perfect. I fell asleep in his arms and even though I had to leave the next morning, I felt so utterly content.

                                                        ::~~***~~::

For the next few days, I was in such good spirits. I was happy for Andwin, but I also began to let myself think that he was beginning to have feelings for me. The gifts, the lovely evenings together and the incomparable aruna all indicated that to me.

Naemien even noticed my good mood and mentioned it to me one night after we’d taken aruna.

“You seem happy lately, my love. Any particular reason?”

“No, not really,” I replied, trying not to look guilty. “Just a mood, I guess.”

“I hope it lasts. I like to see you happy.”

I felt such affection for him in that moment and more than a modicum of guilt. I knew he didn’t mind me rooning others but the guilt stemmed from my feelings for Andwin. The fact that he wasn’t just a roon and that I felt strongly for him made me feel awful because Naemien was so good to me. I didn’t like feeling all mixed up like that!

But no matter how I felt, I couldn’t stay away from Andwin. One night I decided to surprise him by coming over very late. I knocked on his door, full of anticipation. It took him a while to answer and I almost gave up, figuring he was out or asleep. He opened the door, dressed only in some loose pants.

“Briar! Uh, hi. I, I never expected you so late.” He looked a little too surprised, I thought. I heard movement inside his room.

“Oh,” I said. “You’re not alone.”

He shrugged and looked uneasy.

“I’m sorry,” I said, managing a smile. “I shouldn’t have come so late.”

“No, it’s fine. Come in. You can join us,” he added, smiling and taking my hand.

“Oh, no…no. I’d be intruding.”

“Not at all,” he said. Aniia’s just a friend, you know.”

I took a deep breath, put on my best “I’m fine with this” face, smiled seductively, patted Andwin on the cheek and said nonchalantly, “No, you two have fun. I’ll come back another time.”

I walked away and looked back over my shoulder giving him a wink.

“Briar?”

I walked on waving back at him and headed down the stairs and out into the street. Luckily the carriage I’d engaged hadn’t left with another customer, so I quickly got back in and instructed the driver to go.

“Where to?” he inquired.

“Anywhere. Just go!”

I gathered my thoughts enough to direct the driver to a bar I knew of where I could drink alone and undisturbed.

“Shall I wait?” he asked when we’d reached our destination.

“No. Thank you.” I answered, paying him.

I entered the bar and asked for a private room, then I ordered a bottle of sheh and began to drink it. After I’d calmed myself down a bit, I began to think.

Oh, Gods! Why did I go there so late! I should have known. Did I really think…?   Yes, I did really think I was the only har in Andwin’s life right now. I was such an asshole! Such a fucking besotted fool! How did I let this happen to me? To ME! The har that has no feelings for any har. Stupid! Stupid! I hit my forehead with the heel of my hand. I gulped down the sheh like there was no tomorrow. And part of me wished there wasn’t going to be one.

You can join us…Aniia’s just a friend--you know… Andwin’s words echoed in my head. I’d never been one for threesomes or group aruna. Oh, I’d tried it a couple of times, but I’m too selfish, too vain. I like a har’s attention on me and me alone. I didn’t want to share Andwin with any har! I wanted him to want me--just me! Oh, gods! Shit!   I put my head in my hands.

I’d always distanced myself from every har, even the one I lived with. It was my protection, my shield, my strength. I let that barrier down one time. One time!! Shit! I knew I was beautiful and that Andwin lusted after me and that he had fun taking aruna with me. Fun--that’s all it was to him; that and an advocate for his promotion in Naemien’s ranks. He’d used me for entertainment and personal gain. I sighed and the tears came. Just like I’d used every har I’d ever known since after my inception. Maybe karma really exists. Maybe what goes around really does come around. Just desserts, come-uppance, taste of his own medicine, got what he deserved, etc., etc. All these phrases came roaring into my head, and knowing how richly I deserved what I’d gotten, I laid my head on my arms on the table and cried my heart out, for the first time in many many years.

The next thing I was aware of was a serving har gently nudging me awake.

“Tiahaar? Tiahaar?”

“Hmmm?” I managed, drunkenly.

”I’m sorry but we’re closing. Tiahaar?”

“Umm, okay. I’m going.”

“I’ve gotten you a carriage.”

“Thank you. How much…?”

“You already paid for the sheh, tiahaar.”

I nodded and staggered to the carriage.

Once I got home, I headed straight for bed and passed out.

                                                  :::--****--:::

The next day, I slept through until afternoon. Finally, I got up and took a shower. When I came back into my room, Naemien was sitting on my bed. He looked concerned, but still gave me a smile.

“Lura said you were still sleeping. Are you alright?”

I nodded. “I’m fine. I had a bit too much sheh last night, that’s all.”

He patted the place next to him and I sat down.

“Briar…you know I don’t pry into your personal affairs but I’ve noticed you haven’t quite been yourself lately. Do you want to tell me something? Is there anything I can do?”

I regarded his earnest face. His kindness and concern was too much for me and I broke down, covering my face with the towel I was using to dry my hair. He put his arm around me and I laid my wet head on his shoulder and sobbed.

“It’s alright, Briar. Whatever it is it will be okay, I promise.”

All these emotions swirling around inside me: guilt, disappointment, rejection. And then the added gratitude I felt for Naemien’s understanding; his very much undeserved kindness. He pulled back, and took the towel away from my face. He looked into my eyes.

“You know, I’ve never seen you cry.”

“That’s because I never do.”

“This har must have really gotten to you.” He smiled. I must have looked completely shocked and bewildered.

“Did you think I didn’t know?” He said. “I’ve been around a long time. The good mood, the smile on your face, the late nights out. I knew you had a lover and you know you’re free to do whatever you want. But if he’s the one who made you cry, I’d like to kick his ass.” He smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m joking.”

“Naemien…”

“You don’t have to say a word. I even know who it is.” He chuckled. “I didn’t until you recommended him for a promotion.”

“Oh, gods! I’m sorry.”

“You’ve got no reason to be, my sweet. And he earned his position. Also any har who has your respect, has mine.”

“How can you say that! How can you be so…so…”

“Understanding? Accepting? Like I said, I’ve been around for a long time; so long that I don’t want to tell you. Time and experience--that’s how.”

I stared at him in near disbelief. “We’ve been together seven years, Naemien, and right now I feel like I don’t even know you at all. You’ve never told me anything about your past, not really. Just that you started with nothing and worked your way up.”

I studied his face like I’d never seen it before.   “How old are you?”

He laughed. “I’ll tell you this much. I was thirty-one when I became har.”

“What? And you survived!”

“Barely. Har after har refused to incept me, saying I’d surely die. But I didn’t want to be human in a harish world. I would rather have died. Finally, for a price, a har gave me his blood. All I remember was horrible pain and then oblivion. When I was through the change I staggered out into the street and collapsed. I remember voices seemingly in the distance--two hara talking.

“What the hell is that?!”

“Looks like a har--I think.”

“Is he dead?”

“Not quite but it looks like he soon will be.”

“Shit! Should we do something?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Take him to Lorrin, maybe?”

“I guess it’s worth a try. Grab his feet.”

“Long story short, Lorrin saved my life, took my first aruna with me and found me my first job--errand har. I worked my ass off, made contacts, and finally after many years, ended up the har you see before you.” He stretched his arms out and smiled. Then he became very serious. “I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve done but I’m proud of where it’s gotten me. And who it’s gotten me,” he added teasingly into my ear. He made me smile.

“I want to tell you what happened,” I stated.

“You don’t have to, Briar.”

“I want to. The truth is I let myself start to fall for a har and I thought he felt something for me, too. Turns out all he wanted was a bit of fun and a promotion. He did to me what I’ve done to every har I’ve ever known, except you. You were the goal: the har at the top. I didn’t even let myself fall for you. By the time I met you I figured I was incapable of such feelings. My heart was stone. One har even told me I didn’t have one. He was right. I’m ambitious, self-serving and cold. But in spite of my vanity, I can admit this--” I looked Naemien squarely in the eye. “You deserve better.”

He put his hand gently on mine. “We’re a lot alike, you and me. I think that’s part of why we stay together. We want the same things from life--the best. I know I have that in you. You’re beautiful, accomplished, capable and perfect for me.”

“Naemien, please…” My eyes filled with tears.

“I won’t lie to you, Briar. At first I saw you as a prize. The most beautiful har there could ever be, my most lovely gem and perfect decoration. Something to show off. But you proved to be so much more than that. You’re intelligent, competent and a bit devious. Just like me. In time I knew that I felt more for you. At first it was admiration for more than just your incomparable beauty. But now…I can’t imagine my life without you. I’ve grown to love you. And I ask only one thing from you.”

I regarded him, wondering.

“That you never leave me.”

I opened my mouth to speak but he shook his head.

“Nothing will change, my love. You’re free to do whatever you want, take aruna with whomever you please, spend lots of money.” He laughed. “Just please…” His voice broke. “Please don’t ever leave me.”

I hugged him fiercely, like my life depended on it--on him, because I knew it did.

“Oh, Naemien,” I sobbed. “I won’t! I won’t, I promise.”

                                                           ~~**~~**~~

After our intimate talk that day, I felt close to Naemien--really close. I had a strong and genuine affection for him. I began to spend nights in his room with him and even if we didn’t take aruna, I slept there, simply enjoying the comfort and security of his presence. And in return, he began to spend more time with me instead of working continuously.

I felt myself changing a bit inside. I felt like my stone cold heart was warming and softening. Eventually, I even managed to send Leath and Vasha a letter, apologizing for the way I’d treated them both.

Naemien and I didn’t seek out the company of other hara for aruna. I knew that eventually other hara would come into our lives in that respect but for the time being we were exclusive. I wondered: is this what it means to be chesna?

One day Naemien actually asked me to be his chesnari. I was deeply touched and of course said yes. It seemed strange after being together for seven years, but the idea of officially being chesna was meaningful to us both. In his typical style, Naemien wanted to throw a big party to celebrate. As the party was winding down, I got us each a drink and sat next to Naemien. He took it and gave me a rather mysterious smile.

“You look positively glowing, my love. One would almost think that you were with pearl.”

I laughed. “No, no, I’m just happy, that’s all.”

He regarded me, smiling. “Would that be something you’d like?”

“You…you mean a harling?”

“Sure, someday, I mean. I could host if you’d want.”

I laughed heartily.

“What? You don’t think I would do it?”

“The thought of you in hostling clothes? With a protruding belly? I think that might destroy your ‘tough har’ image forever! I can’t imagine it!”

“Well,” he said. “I think I’d like a son to leave all our hard-earned money and possessions to.”

“No offense Naemien, but I think even I’d do better at hosting than you would!”

“You’d make a most beautiful hostling, my sweet.” He leaned over and kissed me. I couldn’t help but smile. Then I laughed out loud.

“What’s so funny? he asked.

“That I’m actually considering it!”

Naemien drew me closer. “I really do love you, Briar.”

                                   ~~~~::::====*** THE END ***====::::~~~~

Briar's Tale Post 2

persephone100 — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 17:07:28 GMT

The next day at breakfast, all I could think about was Andwin and our delicious night of aruna. As I sipped my coffee, my erotic reverie was interrupted.

“Briar?” Naemien said.   I snapped out of it.

“Where were you just now, my sweet?”

“Oh, uh, nowhere. I just…didn’t get much sleep last night.”

He chuckled. “Yes, that was some party. You’re to be congratulated on yet another fabulous soiree.” He hurriedly finished his breakfast. “Well, I’ve got some business across town. What will you do today, lovely?”

“I don’t know. Shopping maybe.”

“Well, enjoy yourself. I’ll probably be back for dinner.” He gave me a peck on the cheek and left.

I sat alone at the table with another cup of coffee, trying to sort out my thoughts. I’d had countless one night stands with hara and had no desire whatsoever to see any of them again. What was it about Andwin? I felt a longing, a yearning feeling. I wanted to be with him again, very much. I wasn’t comfortable with this unfamiliar sensation in my being. I tried to shake it off and decided I would go shopping. Maybe that would clear my head.

It didn’t. I kept thinking back to how it felt when he touched me, the fact that I liked his smile, his sexy sense of humor and his self-confident attitude and began to agonize over the fact that I had no idea where he lived or if I’d ever even see him again. Why was this happening?

Suddenly I was shocked out of my obsessive thoughts by a familiar laugh. I was in an open-air type market that sold miscellaneous items and when I looked over toward the next stall, there was Leath. He was holding a harling as Vesta, his chesnari, stood beside him, holding the other twin. I quickly hid myself behind a tent and watched them.

They were laughing at their small harlings who were reaching toward one another and giggling. Leath and Vesta moved closer together so their twins could play together. Leath looked into Vesta’s eyes as he smiled back and they kissed. They looked so happy. So disgustingly happy! Then I felt ashamed at my reaction. Why shouldn’t they be? I dumped Leath for Naemien. He had been in love with me and I hurt him. I should be happy for him. That sort of thinking was difficult for me. Even though I’d never loved Leath, I was insulted when he got over me and I was jealous of the fact that he could be so in love. I knew that was messed up thinking, but I just couldn’t help the way I was. I decided to go home and get drunk.

That night, I had the nightmare again; the one about my inception. But this time I awoke alone. Naemien hadn’t come home for dinner and hadn’t come to my room. I turned on the light and fortified myself with a drink. I then began to do some self-analysis.

My inception had been a horrid torturous experience and my first aruna nothing less than pelki by all the hara in their gang. They’d killed the humans, including my parents and pillaged the town, taking us young boys with them to incept. After my “initiation” into Wraeththu, I was used as a slave. I cooked and served food, washed their clothes and was sexually abused on a regular basis with any har who wanted me. I’d wanted to die.

Finally one day as they fought amongst themselves over something, I managed to escape. I made my way to Metrarkka and lived by begging, rummaging through garbage and selling myself for money, food, clothes, shelter - anything. But I was empowered by the fact that now I was doing the using. I soon realized that my better than average beauty was my ticket to success. I used the first har that fell for me to get a place to stay, regular meals and clothes. After that I used har after har to get increasingly better housing, food and clothing until I’d worked my way up to Naemien, the top har. I never had feelings for any of them. The only one I came close to feeling bad about leaving was Leath. I’d at least been attracted to him and he was rich and successful, but not as rich and successful as Naemien, so I moved on.

I soon became tired of thinking and went back to sleep.

                                                               ***~~***

A couple of weeks went by and I still couldn’t get Andwin out of my mind. One evening Naemien told me some hara were coming over for a meeting with him and he asked me if I’d arrange for some refreshments. As I stood in the outer room of his office and meeting room overseeing the delivery of the food and drinks, the hara arrived. My heart leapt when I looked up to see Andwin walking in with another har. He smiled at me and said something to the har who went on into Naemien’s office. Andwin approached me and took a slip of paper out of his pocket.

“Hi,” he said with a warm smile. “I was hoping to see you tonight.”

“How have you been?” I asked, not really able to think of anything else to say.

“Just fine, except for one thing.”

He leaned close and murmured into my ear. “I’ve been missing you.” He slipped the piece of paper into my hand. “Here’s my address. Please come to see me…soon.”

He pulled away and gave me a grin. I looked up into his eyes. More hara entered the room so he winked at me and made for Naemien’s office. I hoped I looked cool and collected on the outside, but I was thrilled. I went to my room and read the paper.

                                         1220 Sunset Avenue
                                          Room 2B

I knew the area. It sounded like a boarding house address and was on the western end of a fairly decent part of the city. I smiled to myself, thinking I’d like to rush over there tomorrow but I didn’t want to look too anxious, so I waited about 5 days until the weekend was over and decided to go one night when Naemien had informed me that he’d be gone until very late. Why was I being so secretive? It’s not like Naemien and I ever gave each other a play by play of our encounters with other hara, but I’d never kept any of my dalliances a particular secret and neither did he. Maybe it made it more exciting to me, I don’t know. But instinct or whatever kept me from discussing it.

I engaged a carriage and gave the driver the address. He stopped in front of a rather plain but well-kept building. The door opened to a hallway on the right and a stairway to the left. The first door was marked 1A, so I assumed Andwin’s place would be on the second floor. I knocked on his door, my stomach tickling with butterflies and took a deep breath. I was just thinking that maybe I should have sent him a message to be sure he’d be home, when he opened the door.

“Well, hello,” he said, looking me up and down. “I thought maybe you’d forgotten all about me.” He gave me a smile that told me he knew better. “Come in!”

I walked into a room that in human times would have been called an efficiency. It was one large space, divided up by only the furnishings. There was a door on the right which I assumed was the bathroom and in the far left corner there was an ornate curtain that I assumed surrounded his bed. The furniture looked used but clean and tasteful.

“Have a seat,” he offered motioning to the couch. “Care for a drink?”

“Yes, thanks.”

He returned with a bottle of red wine and two glasses. After pouring them for us he raised his and said, “To you!”

I smiled, nodded my thanks and we drank.

“This is quite nice,” I remarked, looking around his room.

He looked at me with a wry smile.

“Not really. However, I certainly don’t plan to stay here. This is my starter place,” he said gulping his wine and pouring himself another glass.

“That’s right. You said you were ambitious.”

“And I meant it. More wine?”

“Please.”

I looked into his golden eyes and he all but paralyzed me with a lustful stare.

“You’re even more beautiful than I remembered.,” he said.

I laughed, probably a bit nervously. “Remembered? It’s only been a few days.”

“Seems like an eternity.”

He was really turning on the charm--and it was working. He set his glass down and took mine from my hand. He moved closer and ran his fingers into my hair, kissing me on the neck. A small pleasured sound escaped my lips in spite of myself.

“Mmmm, your scent,” he purred. “It’s driving me crazy.”

I turned his face to mine and we kissed and shared breath. He overwhelmed me with his images of bright sparkling streams, rushing water and then eddies of swirling colors. He quickly unbuttoned my shirt, then moving down my body with nips and kisses, he pulled off my pants. Suddenly, he stopped.

“You’re ouana,” he said, smiling.

“Yes…” I replied, catching my breath. “Does that surprise you?”

“Frankly, yes.” He chuckled. “But in a good way.”

“Don’t let my looks fool you,” I said. “I love to be ouana.”

“You’ll especially love it tonight.”

He took off his shirt, slid his hands under me and the next luscious sensation I felt was his warm mouth engulfing my ouana-lim. I moaned unable to control myself and when I felt myself flower, he released me. I pushed him back on the couch and pulled his pants off. I pushed inside him, luxuriating in the sensation and in his pleasured sounds. When I was about to find my release, he clenched me with his soume-lam, making my completion amazingly pleasurable. He followed soon after. I gently separated us and squished beside him on the couch, my face nuzzled against his neck. He turned and gave me a long slow kiss. After a few moments he got up and went into the bathroom. When he came back he smiled at me and pulled me up off the couch and into his arms as he whispered, “Let’s move to my bed.”

He pulled back the curtain and as I lay down under the covers, he fetched the wine and glasses and set them on the bedside table. We propped ourselves up with pillows as we drank the wine and Andwin smoked a cigarette.

“This must be quite the slumming trip for a har like you, Briar,” Andwin said with a teasing smile.

“Not at all. Did you think I was born in a penthouse?”

“So you worked your way up.”

“You have no idea.” I drank down my wine and poured myself another.

“Hmm, so you’re ambitious, too.”

I gave him a meaningful smile as I reached across him to set my glass on the bedside table. As I did so, he put his arms around me and held me closer, nibbling my ear. He murmured into it, “You and I were made for each other.”

We had another amazing arunic encounter. He did things to me and with me that were so exciting and pleasurable that I never wanted it to end. Finally exhausted, we fell asleep.

In the wee hours I awoke and went to use the bathroom. When I came back to bed, Andwin stirred and woke up. I laid my head on his chest, satisfied and wanting only to go back to sleep.

“Are you sure it’s okay for you to stay?” he asked.

I yawned. “Of course it is.”

“Won’t Naemien wonder where you are?”

“Stop worrying about that. He doesn’t concern himself with my rooning. It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just that I wouldn’t want him to get pissed off.”

I raised my head and looked at him.

“Are you kicking me out?” I asked.

He chuckled. “No har in his right mind would kick you out of bed, Briar.”

“Then relax…mmmm.” I laid my head back on his chest and quickly fell asleep.

                                         ====*====

I awoke the next morning to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Andwin was sitting at his small table, clad only in some drawstring pants, sipping his. He gave me a smile as I got dressed and joined him. He then graciously offered me an apple with my coffee.

“I have to leave,” Andwin said with a sigh. “I’ve got to get to a har’s place to pick up something. You’re welcome to stay--”

“No. I’ll go, too. But thanks.”

When we’d finished with breakfast, we walked downstairs to the front door, where Andwin grabbed me into an embrace. We shared a long goodbye kiss.

“Shall I get you a carriage?” he asked.

“No, you go on. I can take care of myself.”

“I don’t doubt that for a minute. Come back soon,” he added, giving me a playful smack on the backside.

He left me with a smile and I walked a block or two in search of a carriage and went home.

On the way my mind was full of Andwin and our time together. I liked everything about him and thought only about the next time we’d get together, even though I didn’t know when that would be. I felt like I would like to see him every day. I knew I shouldn’t think like that. I was entering dangerous territory. It wouldn’t do for me to fall for any har. I’d never had any problem avoiding it before and I was certain this time wouldn’t be any different. Or was I…?

When I got home, I immediately went to look for Naemien. I found him where I thought he’d be: in his office. He looked up from a ledger he was studying.

“Well there you are!” He remarked, grinning. He never questioned me about my whereabouts or escapades. “I was about to have lunch. Will you join me?”

“Yes! I’m famished.”

                                          ~~~::*::~~~

A few days passed and much as I hated to admit it to myself, Andwin crept into my mind with unsettling regularity. I wanted to see him again and I didn’t know whether to wait for an invitation, just show up at his place or invite him to mine. Finally, I decided even though Naemien didn’t care, inviting Andwin here might be a little rude, so I decided to go see him.

I wanted to take him out to dinner and go dancing or something before we took aruna. When I knocked on his door, I started to feel a little nervous. What if he didn’t feel like seeing me tonight? What if--? Just then he opened the door. He was dressed only in some old jeans with holes in them, his hair pulled back into a ponytail. He looked positively irresistible.

“Briar! What a pleasant surprise.” He grabbed me and kissed me, leaving me a bit breathless when we parted.

“I want to take you out,” I said.

“Take me out?” He grinned. “Where?”

“To dinner.”

He laughed. “Okay. Well, sure. Let me get dressed.”

When we walked out into the street he asked, “Where are you taking me?”

“Well, you know the area--you choose.”

“There’s a nice place a couple of blocks from here.”

“Then let’s go.”

We walked into an area with several eateries. He pointed to one called Baylin’s Bistro.

“The food’s good there,” he said.

We had a pleasant dinner and a good time talking. Afterwards I suggested we go to a club. Again, he chose and when we sat at the bar, he insisted on paying for our drinks. After having a few, I asked him to dance with me. As he took me into his arms, I felt a thrill go through me. As we held each other close and swayed to the music, he nuzzled my neck and said into my ear, “You’re the most exciting har I’ve ever known.” I began to think that maybe he felt the same thrill that I felt.

After a few more dances, Andwin whispered, “Let’s get out of here.”

He laid some money on the bar and we walked back to his place.

As soon as we were inside the door, he grabbed me and kissed me hard as I backed up against the door. He nipped at my neck as he quickly began to remove my pants. I breathlessly undid his as well and we swiftly shed them. He guided my hand to his fully hard ouana-lim as I grabbed his hair and moaned into his mouth as we shared breath. I felt dizzy with my immediate need and as he lifted me up I locked my legs around him as he entered me and began thrusting. I closed my eyes and let the overwhelming sensations of our frenzied movements possess me. I was rather loud and later wondered if all the other hara in the building could have heard me since I was right inside the door! But at the moment all I could do was to drink in all the deliciousness of Andwin and what he was doing to me. It didn’t take us long to reach completion and afterward, I went limp and remember him carrying me to the bed and laying me down.

He walked away and came back to bed with a bottle of wine, handing it to me before lying down beside me. I drank from it and realized at some point he’d removed his shirt and I was still wearing mine. I supposed our pants were still lying in a heap by the door.

“That was amazing,” he said, propping his head on his hand and smiling at me.

“I hope I wasn’t too loud,” I remarked, drinking from the bottle and chuckling.

He leaned closer, licking his tongue over my lips and kissing me. “Never,” he murmured into my ear.

Gods! I wanted him again already!

After another night of arunic bliss, I took a carriage home. Being away from Andwin made me yearn for him and looking forward to our next tryst filled me with excitement and anticipation. I should have known I was in trouble and on one level, looking back, I think I did. But I didn’t care. He was the object of my desire and affection and I couldn’t help myself.

One night after an amazing gambol, Andwin looked earnestly into my eyes and I had the feeling he was hesitant to say what was on his mind.

“What?” I asked. Is something wrong?”

“No. I…just want to ask you a favor and I don’t know if I should.”

I smiled. “Silly! Ask me anything.” I leaned over and kissed him. “If it’s in my power to do it for you, it’s yours,” I replied, chuckling.

“Well…” He paused, looking down and then he looked back at me. “Naemien said at the last meeting that we were doing so well that he was going to hire some more hara. That means some of us might be given a position over them, you know like an overseer, a boss. And I was wondering if you could or if you would, you know, put in a good word for me…somehow.” He gave me a pleading look.

“Of course I will. I can’t promise Naemien will listen to me about his business, but I’ll do my best. I’ll tell him what a good aruna partner you are and how satisfied I am.”

He gave me a look that was priceless!

“Hahaha! You should see the look on your face!!” I said.

“Shit, Briar!” Then he laughed and grabbed me, growling into my neck.

“Seriously, Andwin, I’ll talk to Naemien. I’ll tell him I’ve heard good things about you.”

“Thanks. Really, thank you.”   He gave me a lustful smile. “Now, where were we…?”

                                                                       ~~``to be continued``~~

Briar's Tale Post 1

persephone100 — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 22:23:43 GMT

                                                              BRIAR’S TALE

Author: Persephone 100
Characters: OC’s - mostly Briar, Briar’s POV
Beta: Thevina/Thrihyrne
Rating: NC 17
Spoilers: none
Synopsis: Briar has an experience that has a profound effect on him.
Disclaimer: All the characters, their world and all things Wraeththu belong to Storm Constantine, to whom I am very grateful.

Rain. I’ve never particularly liked it, even though sometimes a rainy day can be relaxing and give one time for retrospection but looking back on my life was something I avoided. Rain also meant I couldn’t drink my coffee on the rooftop garden. I always felt better up there where the air was fresh and I could imagine myself above all that was behind me as well as below me.

As I passively watched the trails of water trickle down the window, I sighed, thinking to myself they looked too much like tears. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. It was Naemien, my partner. I couldn’t call him my lover because I wasn’t in love with him, or my chesnari because I didn’t feel committed to him. He was my partner, the one I lived with, took aruna with, and the one with whom he shared the bounty of his success. He was the one I’d rooned, clawed and schemed my way up to be with. He was wealthy, powerful and strong, everything I’d thought I’d wanted. And here I was, his consort, with all the glamorous and luxurious trappings that went with that status.

He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek.

“A rainy day,” he said, “always seems to make my beautiful Briar sad and moody.”

He rubbed my back and whispered in my ear. “But no less gorgeous and desirable,” he added, kissing me on the neck.

“Well,” he said, stepping away. “I’ve got a meeting with some hara. I’ll probably be in my office and the conference room all day, but don’t concern yourself. I’ll have the serving hara bring us some sandwiches. See you at dinner, my lovely.”

I gave him a smile as he left, then continued gazing out the window. Part of my being Naemien’s partner involved my planning of all the parties and entertainment that was needed. I actually enjoyed that responsibility. I was also expected to be the perfect decoration for his arm and in his bed. He was kind to me and he was very handsome and a good lover. I enjoyed aruna with him and he never stopped telling me how much he wanted and admired me. I’d been very satisfied with our arrangement for almost seven years now, but…

Things had changed recently. I didn’t want them to but some events had made doubts creep into my psyche like vines can work their way into stone. My mind and heart had been a fortress; hard and impenetrable, able to stand all the slings and arrows aimed at it, but the vines…the insidious vines. I had no defense against the likes of them.

I shook off the thoughts for the moment and headed to my rooms to dress. I opened my closet, sarcastically amused, thinking that a family of four hara could have made it their living space, when I heard a voice. It was Lura, my personal servant.

“Good morning, tiahaar Briar,” he said with a slight bow of his head. Lura was subservient but with an air of elegance and cheerfulness. I’d liked him right away, and I don’t like many hara.

“How can I be of service today?”

“Can you make me happy?”

He looked a little shocked, his dark eyes widened in a bit of slight panic. I’m sure I confused him with my remark. I had to wonder what he was thinking.

I laughed. “Never mind, Lura. You’ve already lightened my mood.”

He looked relieved.

“You know, I don’t think I’ll even get dressed today. I’ll just stay in my dressing gown. But will you bring me a bottle of …” My mind went blank. I couldn’t think of the name of the very strong liquor I wanted him to fetch.

“Reyne, tiahaar?”

“Yes, yes that’s it. Thank you.”

Lura bowed and left.

Reyne. Just like what was falling from the sky. Why on earth had I not remembered its name? Maybe I wanted to forget.

Lura soon returned with the bottle as requested and I made myself comfortable in my large cushioned chair as he sat the bottle on the glass side table.

“That’s all for now, Lura. Thank you.”

“Very well, tiahaar.” He closed the door behind him.

I got a book and started to read but I was having so much trouble concentrating that I put it down. What was wrong with me? Why was I now questioning everything about who I was? Ever since the time after my inception I’d decided exactly who I was and who I’d be and nothing stopped me. I drank some more and then some more and finally the thoughts disappeared into the mist.

The next thing I knew, Lura was gently waking me.

“Tiahaar Briar?   Tiahaar…?”

“Hmm? What is it? Something wrong?”

“No, tiahaar,” he said with an amused smile. “It’s just that it’s time to dress for dinner. Will you be dining downstairs with Naemien?”

“Oh, yes. Yes, of course. “ I answered, still groggy from my Reyne-y rainy day.

“Will you choose something for me, Lura?”

“Certainly.”

I went to splash cold water on my face and apply some cosmetics. When I returned, Lura was standing next to the bed where he’d laid out a black and purple pants outfit for me.

“That’s perfect, Lura, thank you. I won’t be needing you any more today.”

“Very well.”

At dinner, Naemien went on and on about his business dealings with the hara that day. Even though a lot of his dealings were unethical, he always told me about them. He trusted me completely.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, my love. But I guess I haven’t given you much of a chance to get a word in. What did you do today?”

“Nothing,” I said, somewhat surprised at myself for that being the honest truth. “Absolutely nothing.”

Naemien looked amused. “Well, you’re entitled to that, my sweet.”

Later, as I sat brushing my hair before going to bed, Naemien came into my room. I smiled at him as he took the brush from me and took over. I closed my eyes. He knew I loved my hair brushed.

“Dark as a moonless night and soft as silk, “ he said. He put the brush on the vanity and whispered into my ear, “May I stay?”

“Of course,” I said, turning to share breath with him.

Naemien was a very attentive aruna partner and always left me satisfied. He had a strong rather masculine body and there wasn’t much hint of his soume side apparent, even though we switched roles in aruna on a regular basis. I found myself truly wishing that I loved him, but I didn’t. I’d never loved anyhar and probably never would. Every har I’d been with had been either a means to an end or an object of pure lust for me, nothing more. I fell asleep to the sound of Naemien’s soft breathing.

                                                  ====~***~====

Darkness. Murky darkness and a musty smell. Where was I? Voices. Other hara were here, but no. We weren’t hara. I was a boy, a young boy. So were the others. All encompassing fear. Crying, weeping, fear was all around us.

Then a flood of light, a slam of a door, footsteps, ominous footsteps. Several tall beings talking to each other.

“Bring that lamp over here.”

Big heavy boots and no shirt. Who was he? What did he want?

He knelt over me, held me down with one arm and slashed my other one and his own with a knife.

Pain. Searing pain. Why was he killing me? What had I done? He held my bloodied arm with his. Why would he stop the bleeding?

Quiet. Dark again and quiet. I knew I would die.

Delirium, horrendous pain, screams and hallucinations. Why did I go to hell? Had I been so bad?

Nothingness. Finally, blessed nothingness.

Light. No pain, just weakness.

Another tall being.

“This one.” He pointed to me. “Clean him, feed him and bring him to me.”

A squeaky cot, hands all over me, grunting and laughter. Violation, one after another. “Help, help me, help me!!!”

“Briar?   Briar! Wake up!”

I opened my eyes, sat up, realizing I’d been awakened in a cold sweat. Naemien turned the bedside lamp on as I tried to catch my breath. He took me into his arms, stroking my hair.

“The inception dream again?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Let me get you a drink.”

I downed it and two more gratefully.

“Okay now? Do you want to try to sleep? Want the light on?”

I nodded to the affirmative for all three and let Naemien hold me until I fell asleep.

                                                 ~*===**===*~

For the next several days I hardly saw Naemien. He was busy with his business and if he was rooning, it wasn’t with me. He hadn’t come to my room. We weren’t jealous of each other and gave each other free rein to roon others to our heart’s content. I sometimes pondered about that. We’re told that hara shouldn’t be selfish with each other, but ours was a partnership of convenience so it wasn’t a matter of being unselfish, it was more a matter of indifference.

I’d always been able to avoid looking back. I did what I had to do. No regrets, no reexamination, no guilt. That was counterproductive and useless to me, and I’d never had a problem adhering to that code of mine--until now.

Just before I’d taken up with Naemien, I’d lived with a fairly successful har named Leath. He was gorgeous, ambitious, strong and streetwise. He worked for Naemien and it didn’t take him long to rise to the rank of one of his most valued employees. But once I’d been introduced to Naemien, seen his opulent dwelling unit in the sky and realized he was the har at the top, it was all over for Leath and me. I set my sights on Naemien and didn’t have any trouble getting him. I’d always been able to get what I wanted using my beauty, brains, determination and seductive skills.

When I left all the other hara I’d used on my way up, it had been no big deal. But Leath--poor Leath--had actually had the misfortune of falling in love with me. Of course that didn’t stop me. But the sight of that beautiful strong har begging me to stay, tears on his face, desperation in his eyes, still has the power to haunt me if I let it. He’s the only one I ever even gave a thought about after I’d left him.

Because he was a favored employee of Naemien’s our paths had to cross occasionally. When they did, he looked at me with a loathing I knew could only have come from my having scorned him. Sometimes I felt bad for him but that was his problem after all, wasn’t it? I didn’t tell him to fall for me did I? The fact that he abhorred me actually made me feel better.

Whenever he showed up at one of our dinners or parties, he was always alone. I also knew he lived alone and being the fucked up har that I am, I took satisfaction in the knowledge that I was irreplaceable to him. But one day that changed. He’d found two abandoned young hara - twins - in the wild and had taken them in. He brought them to a party and for the first time, I felt a twinge of jealousy; an almost alien feeling for me. I’d grown accustomed to the fact that Leath never got over me and it bothered me that two lovely young twin hara were his ’houseguests’ as he introduced them. At first I shook the feelings off and laughed at myself for even having them for a moment. But that was the first ‘vine’. It sprouted and took root and grew.

I wasn’t in love with Leath, but I didn’t want any other har to have him either. I didn’t like the way I felt. It distracted me and made me angry, so I decided to do something about it. I seduced Vasha, one of the twins. I knew he had a large crush on me and after quickly rooning him on a rooftop chaise, I showed up at Leath’s several days later to take aruna with my new young lover. The desired effect was almost immediate. Leath got angry and asked him to leave, then I showed up and had a night of aruna with Leath. I thought I’d gotten the situation back to where I wanted it but Leath threw me out, telling me he was over me and to never come back.

I was angry and vowed revenge, but I never did anything more. Later I found out Leath was in love with the other twin, Vesta. They became chesna and had twin harlings of their own. Then I heard they’d blood bonded.

For the first time in many years, I felt defeated, rejected and I had to surrender to the fact that I wasn’t invincible. A bit of a hard lesson for a har like me. So here I am in my ‘penthouse’ where I’d always aspired to be. I sighed, wondering why in the world I was feeling dissatisfied. And why now?

I continued sipping my wine until my reverie was interrupted.

“Hello, beautiful!” Naemien said, grinning as he came over, gave me a peck on the cheek and sat beside me.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately but I wanted to make sure we had dinner together this evening. Business before pleasure, you know.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be where you are if that hadn’t always been your policy.”

“True, very true. I knew you’d understand. You always do.”

                                                              ==~***~==

After dinner, we sat on the lower balcony with some liqueur.

“Oh, I want to throw a party this weekend,” Naemien said. “I’ve hired quite a few new hara and I want to welcome and impress them. Does that give you enough time to plan and orchestrate everything?”

I nodded, grateful to have something to occupy my time, and more importantly, my thoughts.

“Yes, that’s plenty of time. I’ll start tomorrow.”

“Good! I know with you in charge it will be perfect as usual.”

He touched his glass to mine with a smile. “To you, my beauty.”

Naemien gave me all the information I needed to start planning the party. There would be cocktails and hors’doeuvres, dinner and partying until all hours in the clubroom afterwards. I spent the week planning and making sure everything was taken care of. It was my forte and I enjoyed it. Well, my real forte was seduction, but party planning ran a close second. I decided to decorate everything in gold and black: black tablecloths, gold flatware, plates and serving dishes, etc. I even insisted on very dim lighting of the chandeliers, with golden candlelight the means of illuminating the dining room. If Naemien wanted to impress the new hara, I’d make it happen.

The night of the party I decided to even dress in black and wear gold jewelry. I hoped it wasn’t too much, but that’s what I wanted. As I sat at my vanity applying the finishing touch, some red lip color, Naemien came into my room. He was dressed for the party, his dark hair slicked back into a short ponytail.

“You look ravishing, my sweet, as usual. Every har will be jealous of me.”

“Every har would be jealous of you without me in the mix.”

“But not AS jealous,” he said, laughing. “Well, our guests will be arriving soon. See you downstairs.”

“I’ll be right there.”

I looked at my reflection and sighed. Another party, perfectly planned and about to be perfectly executed. I just couldn’t get excited about it or anything else, it seemed. Little did I know that was about to change or what was in store for me that night.

As the guests began to arrive, I took my place beside Naemien and greeted them as they entered. It was all pretty routine, until I felt something as I took the hand of one of the guests in greeting. I looked up into the most unique light brown eyes I’d ever seen. A handsome, tawny-haired har nodded to me as he held on to my hand just enough longer than necessary for it to be meaningful. As he walked away, he glanced back at me over his shoulder with an almost imperceptible flirtatious smile. I blinked and stared, feeling butterflies in my stomach, then I became flustered. It was so unlike me! I looked around but no har seemed to notice, least of all, Naemien who was busy bullshitting with one of his flunkies. I collected myself and concentrated on the task at hand.

When no more guests appeared at the door, we began to partake of drinks and hor’deurves. I found myself searching the crowd for the golden-eyed har that had so affected me. I finally found him across the room, talking with several hara. He looked over suddenly and caught me staring. I quickly looked away, embarrassed. What was wrong with me? Usually if I was attracted to a har I walked right up to him and began turning on the charm, beginning my seduction. They would be the one to get flustered. Was I losing my touch? I quickly grabbed another glass of sparkling wine and downed it.

At dinner, the har was seated far down the large table from me, so I made conversation with the hara around me but I couldn’t help stealing glances at him. Later when we’d retired to have some after dinner drinks, I didn’t see him. I became very disappointed, thinking he’d left early. Also I chided myself for not even catching his name.

However, when we all filed into the clubroom, he was there near the raised stage talking to one of the members of the band I’d hired. I went to the bar at the side of the room and got myself a bottle of something strong and a glass. I then sat alone at one of the tables.

Naemien was in his element, laughing, showing off and generally being the brash but gracious host.

While the band was tuning up, the only har I considered even close to being a friend, Tamira, came over and sat with me for a while. When the music started, his chesnari came over and they went off to dance.

After a few drinks, I began to feel more like myself again and considered in my mind why I was so disquieted by the tawny-haired har. Maybe he’d just taken me by surprise or maybe Leath’s rejection had affected me more than I cared to admit. I had just decided to find him and ask him to dance when I looked up to see him standing right in front of me, his hand extended.

“Care to dance?” he asked smiling.

“I’d love to,” I answered, hoping I sounded cool and collected.

He placed his hands on my hips as I placed mine on his shoulders.

“I’m Andwin, by the way.”

“My name is--”

“Briar. I know,” he interrupted, grinning. “Naemien’s chesnari. I see the rumors are true.”

“Rumors? What rumors?”

“About your legendary beauty, of course.”

“I see. Well, I’m sure there are a lot of others as well. Not all of them are true, I’m sure. For instance, Naemien and I are not chesna.”

“Well, it wouldn’t matter to me if you were.”

“What does that mean?”

He laughed and didn’t give me an answer. When the music ended, I asked him to join me at my table for a drink. I ordered a glass for him and we sat down.

“Nice place you have here,” he said, downing his first glass all at once.

“We like it.”

“How long have you and Naemien been, uh…whatever you are to each other?”

“Seven years.” I knew he wanted me to elaborate but I didn’t.

“Long time,” he remarked as he poured himself a refill. “I couldn’t stay with one har that long.”

“Wouldn’t that depend on the har?” I said with my most seductive smile. “Besides, like most hara, we certainly aren’t exclusive.”

“Well, that’s good to know.”

I decided to change the subject.

“In what capacity has Naemien hired you?”

“Courier,” he replied, downing his second glass in one gulp. He gave me a wily smile and added, “For now.”

I smiled back. “So you’re ambitious.”

He leaned closer. “Very.”

He swilled down a third glass and said, “Come on. Dance with me.”

We positioned ourselves as before but soon he slid his hand down to my backside. I gave him a “look.” He gave me a lustful half-smile. I pressed myself against him and laid my head on his shoulder. He held me tighter and nuzzled my ear.

“Briar,” he whispered. “I think you’re my kind of har.”

“And what kind might that be?”

“Gorgeous, available and willing.”

We laughed together. He was really turning me on.

“I hear you have a rooftop garden with an amazing view of the city,” he said brushing the hair out of my eyes and looking into them. “Would you show it to me?”

“Gladly. Follow me.”

He grabbed the bottle of liquor and we headed for the roof. I took him back through the dining room to the stairway. Once on the roof, I led him to the railing to look over Metrarkka. There below us were the myriad lights of the large city and above us were twinkling stars and a silver half moon.

“Wow! It’s beautiful,” he enthused, swilling from the bottle and offering it to me.

“Yes, it is.”

He took the bottle from me, sat it down and gazing lustfully into my eyes, he pulled me to him and pressed his lips to mine. Soon we began kissing more passionately which led to our sharing breath, the silken feel of his tongue on mine. He showed me black swirling clouds with lightening flashing between them and dark rough waters. I sent him images of my desire from deep within me.

“Mmmm, you’re myrrh and black roses,” he murmured, pulling us together at the hips and kissing my throat. I was overwhelmed with my need for him: his scent, the feel of his lips on my skin, and the hardness of his ouana-lim against me. I felt weak in the knees as I became soume and managed breathlessly, “Come to my room.”

I led him down the spiral staircase that went from the rooftop directly to my rooms. Once we were inside I turned on a small lamp and locked the door. I walked back toward him as he stood next to the bed. I removed my top and began to undo his shirt that laced up the front. When we were half undressed, he grabbed me into an embrace and once again we shared breath. Afterward, I stepped back and removed my pants. He looked me up and down with awed approval and a decidedly feral look in his eye.

“Gods, I’ve never seen a more beautiful har,” he said, admiration clearly evident in his tone.

I slowly moved back to him and with my lips to his, undid his pants. As I touched him, he moaned and kissed me more fervently. I peeled his skintight pants down and he stepped out of them. He laid me back on the bed and began to kiss and nip my neck. When he flowered in my hands, I rolled us over, quickly positioning myself above him and placed him inside me. As I slowly sank down on him, I felt pleasured shivers slither up my spine and all through me. I couldn’t help my noises as we moved together. As I placed my hands on either side of him my eyes fluttered closed as all I could feel was the luscious sensation of his ouana-lim inside me awakening all my sikras. Soon I felt the ecstatic spasms of release pulse through my body and as they began to subside, I heard him gasp and felt his ouana-lim throbbing inside me.

I collapsed on top of him and we both lay there catching our breath and coming back to ourselves.

Finally, I moved off him and lay beside him, my head on his chest. He leafed his fingers through my hair and over my back as our bodies cooled.

“You’re really something,” he said.

“You’re not bad yourself,” I replied, chuckling.

“You got anything to drink?” he asked.

“I’ll get it,” I said as I got up. First I went into my bathroom and cleaned myself a bit, then as I went to retrieve a bottle on the side table, I threw him a clean towel. He watched as I came back to bed with the bottle.

“I could look at you all day,” he remarked.

“How about all night?” I queried, smiling.

“That, too,” he answered, after taking a huge gulp of Reyne.

We shared the bottle and in a short while he placed it on the bedside table. I lay next to him and began to run my thumb and then my lips and tongue over his nipple.

“Mmmm,” he purred. “How did you know that one roon with you wouldn’t be enough for me?”

“Just a guess, I…”

He silenced me with his mouth on mine and we set off on another arunic romp, with me being ouana. After our second time, we both fell asleep.

At some point in the night I was awakened by the sound of Andwin getting dressed. I was a little disappointed.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes, I think I’d better. Not that you aren’t tempting,” he said with a roguish smile.

“I meant it when I told you Naemien and I aren’t at all exclusive with each other.”

“I know, but I don’t think it would do for me to show up at his breakfast table with you. After all, he just hired me.”

I heaved a sigh. “As you like,” I said, uncovering myself and gazing lustfully into his eyes. “Are you sure you want to go?” I asked in what I hoped was my sexiest voice.

“Gods! Don’t do this to me!”

“Do what?” I rolled over and gave him a coquettish smile.

“Auugghh!” He exclaimed as he ripped off his pants and shirt and pounced on me. After yet another delectable bout of aruna, he got up and got dressed again.

“I really have to go this time!”

“Alright, I guess I understand ,” I said, giving him a teasing smile.

After he was dressed, he knelt on the bed, kissed me and said, “We really must do this again sometime. Sometime soon.”

“Yes, we must.”

He left quickly after that, giving me a smile over his shoulder just before he closed the door behind him.

                                                                                               ~~``***to be continued***``~~

Gemini Post 20

persephone100 — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 23:26:36 GMT

Spring finally came to our wilderness and I’d never been more grateful for its arrival. We could hunt, fish, swim, bathe without risk of hypothermia, and there was an abundance of edible plants, herbs and flowers. However, Vesta became very moody and quiet. He seemed depressed in the midst of all the promise of the warmer weather. We sat one night by a fire enjoying some sassafras tea when Vesta spoke up.

“Vasha?”

I turned to him and he hesitated a moment before continuing, staring into the flickering flames.

“I’ve got something to tell you. I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure but…”

I began to feel anxious. What on earth was he trying to say?

“I noticed it a while ago but thought it was my imagination or something. I don’t really know how--”

He turned to me, worry and apprehension etched on his every feature.

“I think I’m with pearl.”

The words hung in the air, held aloft by a deadly silence. I tried to keep my face expressionless but inside, my gut wrenched. I was disgusted. What have I done? I thought, my mind racing. My seed is in my brother! My brother!! Oh, gods, what kind of monster have we created? Twins aren’t meant to take aruna. How could I have let this happen? My twin--my poor twin.

I stood, my tea falling to the ground, turning away from Vesta, my hands covering my mouth. I couldn’t speak.

“Vasha…I--” Vesta began.

I couldn’t look at him. He then gave an anguished cry and ran off. I stood there motionless while a thousand horrendous thoughts raced through my mind. Finally I began to regain my control and composure. I was trembling. I turned around, suddenly remembering that Vesta had fled.

Oh, gods--Vesta! I’ve got to find him! Oh, gods!

I ran, calling him, not even knowing which way he’d gone.

What if he was so upset he did something crazy? Why had I reacted so selfishly and hurtfully? I had to find him!

I ran desperately seeking him in one direction and then the other. I may have been going in circles for all I knew. When I couldn’t run any more, I crumpled to the ground, crying so hard I nearly gagged. Finally I was able to regain some composure so I tried to think logically.

Where might he have gone? The cave or his favorite spot by the creek, maybe?

He wasn’t in the cave but when I got to the creek, I saw him sitting on a large rock hugging his knees, staring across the water. After becoming dizzy with relief, I bent over for a moment and then approached him. I thought he’d be crying but he wasn’t. He was sitting perfectly still and silent. I sat next to him and put a tentative hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Vesta. I didn’t mean to react like that.”

“You’re repulsed and no har would blame you for it.”

“Neither of us meant for this to happen. It’s nohar’s fault.”

“But I’m carrying our son and you hate him. I understand. It’s an alien and distasteful circumstance but I can’t hate him.”

“Vesta, I really don’t--It’s just…” Words failed me and I heaved a sigh.

“Are you sure--absolutely sure you’re with pearl?”

He lay back on the rock, pulled up his shirt, grabbed my hand and put it low on his belly. My first instinct was to snatch it away but I held it there. After a few moments, I felt it, a fluttering or jiggling. I pulled my hand back quickly. Vesta sat up with a sigh and again stared over the creek.

“When I lie on my back I can feel him moving. That’s how I first noticed. I thought maybe it was my food digesting or something but soon I knew. I just knew. One night during aruna I remembered I’d felt like I’d been touched deep inside, beyond my core. I didn’t think that was possible. It hurt a little but felt so intimate, so natural. Later when I felt movement, I put two and two together.”

I took him into my arms. “I’m sorry Vesta, so sorry.”

He seemed distant. “I know you are.”

We sat together silently for a while and then I suggested we go back and go to bed. Vesta curled up silently, with his back to me. I wanted to snuggle up to him, try to comfort him but I couldn’t. Usually I felt as though Vesta and I were of one mind, one being. This was the first time I felt a barrier between us. I know I’d hurt his feelings by my reaction but I couldn’t help it. I felt horrible. How could I make him understand that it wasn’t him, it was me, it was what we did, the whole abhorrent situation. Tears once again trickled silently down my face as I tried to fall asleep.

                                                     * * * *

The weeks passed and Vesta and I lived every day, surviving. We hunted, fished, foraged and were pretty healthy, enjoying the bounty nature provided for us. Vesta blossomed. His belly began to protrude some and his face took on a fullness and lovely glow. He looked beautiful but I couldn’t help thinking that this was all wrong. I tried to help him and let him rest while I did the foraging and harvesting of what we could find. I did have paternal feelings for the harling Vesta bore but I still felt like I’d done something horrendous--getting my brother with pearl, putting him through all this. I just couldn’t accept it.

One night when I couldn’t sleep, I left our tent and went to sit by the creek. I put my head in my hands.

What were we going to do? The harling would be born soon. Could I accept this thing as my son? He was the product of incest, in my mind. Would he be deformed? How would we raise him? It was all my fault. Vesta needed aruna to survive but I should have known what was happening. I should have realized and held back. Oh, gods! What would become of us?

Then, suddenly as if a voice spoke into my mind, I heard:

He’s your son. He’s guilty of nothing. He was conceived in love, brotherly love. There’s no shame in that. Accept him. He’s yours, yours and Vesta’s.

I had no idea where those thoughts came from but they brought tears to my eyes and shame to my soul. He was my son, our son. There was no har on the earth that I loved more than my twin. I’d behaved horribly. I had to find Vesta and make things right.

I went back to our tent and found Vesta sitting outside, which was a bit odd.

“Couldn’t you sleep?” I asked him.

“I knew you’d gone off and I wanted to wait for you.”

“Vesta, I’ve been horrible. I’ve been wrong. You carry our son. Neither of us meant for this to happen but it did. I love you and--” Tears filled my eyes. “I love our son.”

Vesta’s eyes formed tears as well as he approached me. He took me into a loving embrace.

“Vasha, no words could make me happier. He’s part of me, part of you. I’m so happy.”

We held each other. Nothing more needed to be said. We went inside and to sleep.

                                                        * * * *

Time passed and one night I was awakened by my twin telling me it was his time. I panicked. I had no idea how to help birth a pearl. I felt like two lives depended on me and I had no idea what to do.

“Just hold my hand,” Vesta said. Soon after, he let out a scream and arched his back.

“What?” What can I do?”

He relaxed and looked into my eyes.

“I don’t know. Just be here with me, I guess.”

“But there must be something--”

Then it started again. Vesta gripped my hand, groaned in pain, thrashed and then fell limp.

“I think it will go like this until the pearl is expelled,” he said.

“It’s barbaric! There’s got to be something to help you! What can I do?”

“Nothing. This is how it has to be. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not! You’re in pain! I can’t stand it. It’s all my fault.”

Vesta gripped my arm. “NO! It’s not your fault. Stop feeling guilty. I need you! I need you to be here for me.”

I regarded my beloved twin, so vulnerable and in such pain. I could hardly bear it but I had to. It wasn’t about me, it was about Vesta and our son.

I ran quickly to the creek and filled the cooking pot with cold water. I wetted a shirt and wrung it out placing it on my twin’s forehead, hoping it would give him some comfort.

He had a respite between the pains and he seemed to be completely normal at those times but then he’d moan, writhe and grimace as the pains came back. They seemed to be coming closer and closer together.

Finally he said he felt the need to push the pearl out. I had no idea what to do but I guess instinct took over. As my brother grunted, growled and pushed, finally the pearl was expelled. My twin lay as if dead.

I first made sure Vesta was okay and then I looked to the pearl. It was a wet, mottled egg. I had no inkling of what was normal for a pearl but I wiped it off and brought it to Vesta who took it into his arms.

“What do you do with it?” I asked.

“I keep it warm until it hatches.”

“Hatches?”

“Yeah. A harling is resting inside and when the time is right, he’ll break out.”

I moved to my twin and smoothed my hands over the pearl. I looked at Vesta and smiled, totally impressed by this miracle of life.

“What do you think of our son, now?” Vesta asked.

My eyes filled with tears. “I love him.”

I hugged my twin and our pearl, ashamed of how I’d first felt and grateful that I now felt differently.

We waited expectantly and happily for the pearl to hatch. I didn’t know how long it would take. We waited and waited. After two weeks passed, I began to worry. I couldn’t believe it could take that long. Vesta cradled the egg in his arms and we slept with it and waited. Finally I began to think something was wrong. I was afraid to bring up the subject to Vesta. He was determined to keep up hope even though I knew he was worried, too.

After three weeks, the pearl began to wither. I knew in my heart that it would never hatch but Vesta couldn’t accept it. I didn’t know what to do. I guessed I just had to wait until my brother accepted that the harling was dead.

I spent many sleepless nights feeling guilty for getting my twin with pearl; guilty, believing that the fact that we were brothers was probably the reason the harling didn’t survive. My poor twin--he’d be devastated. And he was.

Finally, looking at the condition of the pearl, Vesta acknowledged that it wasn’t going to hatch. I suggested we bury our son but Vesta looked at me like I was a stranger, a monster. I decided we couldn’t do that until Vesta accepted our son’s death.

As gently as I could, I suggested we open the pearl. To my surprise, Vesta agreed. When we did so, inside we saw a very small, perfectly formed dead harling. He was beautiful. I’ll never forget him. He looked very much like Vesta and me. I sobbed uncontrollably and felt so bad for not wanting him at first. Vesta had wanted him from the beginning. He had nothing to feel guilty about. Vesta took the tiny body into his arms, cradling it next to him and cried his heart out. He made such desperate mournful sounds. It was the most heart-wrenching thing I’d ever seen. I took Vesta into my arms and we grieved together. Finally Vesta agreed that we needed to lay our son to rest. We chose a beautiful tranquil spot in the woods and after placing him back inside his pearl, we buried him there. We made a pile of stones to mark it and put flowers on the grave.

“What shall we name him?” I asked.

“Sorrow,” Vesta said.

That was the last word he spoke until his healing.

                                                  * * * *

After such an emotional revisiting of the saddest time of my and Vesta’s life, I began to lose my focus and tried to hold back tears. Lotus’s voice in my mind brought me back.

Breathe deeply, Vasha. Relax and let your mind go back to the wilderness, back to the days following your son’s death.

With concerted effort to let go of my grief and guilt, I was able to release the feelings and get back to the shared flow of images.

Vesta’s silence and inability to mind touch in words greatly distressed me and made me feel even more guilty and awful. I knew it was some kind of emotional and mental reaction to the devastating sorrow and trauma he’d been through. I had no idea what to do for him and hoped it was a temporary condition. When several months passed and there was no improvement I feared it might be permanent, especially since the odds of ever seeing a healer out in the wild were nil.

We went on as usual and it didn’t take me long to be able to interpret Vesta’s mental feelings and images into words so we had no trouble communicating. Vesta didn’t really start to be anything like his former self until we met Leath.

I felt my mind ease and my thoughts fade. I’d come to the end of our story in the wild. Everyhar knew the rest.

“Wait, ”Vesta said. “There’s something I have to reveal. Vasha, you said you felt that I’d not been as uptight as you were about us taking aruna together. You’re right, I wasn’t. My guilt stemmed from a totally different source.” He hesitated. “I felt guilty because I enjoyed it with you. I wanted it, loved it and looked forward to it. I had those feelings for you and wanted to be intimate with you. I believed because of that, my seal opened and that the conception was all my doing and that the whole thing, including the death of our harling, was because of my incestuous feelings. I couldn’t bear it and I guess my inner psyche, unable to reconcile what I’d done and what I’d felt, reacted by shutting down and my becoming mute. My true healing began when I finally believed that we’d done nothing wrong. Lotus told me that hara don’t subscribe to human taboos. The word and concept of brotherly incest doesn’t exist in Wraeththu culture. Our feelings for each other, from a harish point of view, were completely normal.

“That day, when you, Leath and I took aruna in my room at the healer’s, I gently tried to let you know that us being together and taking aruna was right and not forbidden. I remember that you seemed to go completely with the arunic flow and didn’t feel weird or bad about any of it. It was one of the most wonderful, healing days of my stay there.”

“Yes, I did feel freed from all my hang-ups that day,” I said. “It changed everything and I’d never felt closer to you. If only I could have felt that way sooner--”

“Vasha, don’t think like that. We can’t change the past. It’s gone. But we can learn from it, move on, and improve our future. The present moment and the future are really all we’ve got. And if we don’t let the past spoil it for us, it will be wonderful.”

“Vesta…”

There really was nothing more to say. My twin had said it all and I felt such peace and closure to all our sorrow.

Lotus’s voice gently led us back to reality and when I opened my eyes I was back in the healing room, feeling completely drained but totally at peace. The visualization had helped me work through my deep-seated grief, guilt and anguish.

The first thing I saw was Vesta coming over to me. He took me into his arms and we hugged for quite some time. We didn’t need words, we just needed to be close.

I’d almost forgotten that the whole purpose for this session was to tell Leath our story. It seemed that I needed to relive it more than Leath needed to hear it.

Leath came over to us after a while and put his arms around both Vesta and me. When we finally loosed our hold on each other, I went over to Zephyr and hugged him close. He touched my mind.

You already told me your story but seeing it unfold before my eyes…I have such new appreciation of what you and Vesta went through. Gods, Vasha. I don’t know how you both got through it, I--

I know but it’s in the past, Zef. The future is ours--yours and mine. I love you.

I love you, too, Vasha.

I looked over to see Leath and Vesta talking happily and intimately and I thought my heart would burst with happiness. It came to me that you can only know this degree of peace after you’ve come through something so traumatic and heartbreaking.

I looked over at Lotus who gave me a serene smile and a nod. I hoped he knew how much what he’d done for Vesta and me meant to us.

It was time for us to go home and as we walked down the path to our carriage, I suddenly turned and went back to Lotus. Taking both his hands in mine I said, “Thank you. You’ve done so much for us--all of us. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Vasha, this is what a healer lives for, to see hara transformed, cured and moving on to a full life. It’s been a privilege and a satisfying experience for me, too. Now, go and enjoy each day to the fullest.”

I nodded, giving him a grateful smile and then ran to catch up with my loved ones.

On the carriage ride home we were talkative and full of energy. Our experience had animated us. After we got home, we couldn’t just go to sleep. We immediately headed for the balcony where a full silvery moon and thin dark strips of clouds greeted us. I had no idea what time it was and I really didn’t care.

We all sat at the small table and looked silently at the night sky. It had been such a monumental and life altering day. I took Zephyr’s hand and led him to the railing to look over Metrarkka. Vesta soon joined us and put his arms around Zef and me. Leath had gone inside and when he came back he stood behind us, encompassing all of us in an embrace. It was one of the most beautiful and memorable moments of my life. I’ll never forget the cool summer breeze, the moon and the feeling of being one with the hara I loved most in the world.

The moment passed and Leath was the first to speak.

“How about a drink?”

“I thought you’d never ask!” I said.

We stayed out on the balcony for quite some time that night.

When we all became tired, we went to our rooms. Part of me wanted all of us to be together but there would be plenty of time for that. Zephyr and I went to bed and because I was so drained and tired, we just slept. It was so good to have him with me. That night I fell into a tranquil dreamless sleep knowing in my heart that the future was ours and we could make it beautiful.

                                                     ~ EPILOGUE ~

After getting over the trauma of our past, Vesta and I lived happily at Leath’s. I had my job at Bijou and learned the art of jewelry making and repairing. Zephyr and Leath continued to work for Naemien and Vesta took care of the domestic aspects of our lives.

A few months later, Zef and I became chesna and not long after that Leath and Vesta did the same. We all made a pilgrimage to the place in the wild where our harling was buried. We shed some tears and I asked my twin if he’d like to move him to a place closer to where we lived. He said no. He believed that he belonged in the beautiful tranquil place we’d laid him to rest. I agreed. We decided we’d go there once a year to be near him and pay our respects and love. I asked Vesta if he’d like to rename our son. He smiled and said, “Vista. I want to call him Vista.”

When less than a year had passed after the shared visualization session, Vesta became with pearl again, by Leath, of course. And after being examined by Lotus it was determined that he was carrying twins. Two harlings in one pearl! Just like Vesta and I had been two babies in one womb. Leath was ecstatic. It was amazing to us all. Twin pure born hara are extremely rare and no one deserved the gift more than Vesta, in my opinion.

Leath and Vesta blood bonded before the harlings’ birth and I broke down, crying tears of thankfulness after the ceremony, so grateful and joyful that my twin had finally found the happiness he deserved.

The pearl was birthed at home with Lotus and Maize attending. All went well and five days later, both healthy strong identical harlings broke out of the pearl. They were beautiful and full of vigor and curiosity, with Leath and Vesta’s dark hair and Vesta’s blue eyes. They named them Celeste and Zenith. With twin hara, there’s no older or younger twin. They broke out together. It was amazing.

Afterwards when the new family were resting in their room, Zephyr and I went to ours.

“It’s a miracle,” I said. “A miracle of life. And that Vesta now has two harlings--” My eyes welled up. “I’m so happy for him. He went through such wrenching sorrow.”

Zef held me close and touched my mind.

That’s all in the past. He’ll never forget his and your first harling, but he’ll be too busy with his twins to dwell on the past.

Zef, you always know just the right thing to say. I love you.

And I love you. Do you think you’d like to have harlings someday?

I kissed him and said into his mind, Oh, yes! Definitely. As long as it’s with you.

                                                  ~~~~~ THE END ~~~~~

Gemini Post 19

persephone100 — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 22:41:49 GMT

On the afternoon the visualization was to take place, we all climbed quietly into a carriage bound for the healer’s. Leath seemed nervous, Vesta seemed solemn, Zephyr didn’t say a word and I kept wondering if we were doing this too soon. Had I talked Vesta into it before he was ready just because I selfishly needed closure on all this? Maybe I should talk to Lotus again.

Vasha? Vesta inquired into my mind. I’m glad we’re doing this. I’m really not afraid of all the sad memories coming back because I relived them with Lotus and it really helped me find peace with it all.

Vesta was sitting across from me on the seat with Leath. I moved over beside him and put my arms around him.

Thanks for saying that, Vesta. If at any time it becomes too much for you, say so. We’ll stop. Okay?

He nodded his agreement, looking into my eyes with a serene smile.

I went back over beside Zephyr and took his hand in mine. He gave it a reassuring squeeze.

                                              * * * *

Soon we were all settled, sitting cross-legged in a circle in Lotus’s tranquil healing room.

“Maize is making the Vallucia tea,” Lotus said. “He’ll be bringing it in shortly. I’ve calculated the dose and it will be just right if you drink the entire cup. It will take about twenty minutes or so to work and you’ll know when it’s taken effect. You’ll start to feel very mellow and soon you’ll see visions you didn’t consciously conjure yourself, like you’re asleep and dreaming. At that time I’ll guide you all to focus together. You won’t have to work at it. Your mind will be completely open to my suggestion. When we’re all in harmony, I’ll instruct Vasha to begin. Vasha, I’d like you to take the lead on showing the visions from your viewpoint. Vesta, if you have something to add, just jump in any time. I know this all sounds rather alien and complicated to you, but believe me, I’ve done this quite a few times and when we’re in the dream state and all in mental sync it happens naturally.”

Maize brought in an ornate golden tray with a teapot and cups to match. He set it down on the floor in the middle of our circle and left the room. Lotus first recited incantations, said some prayers and then began to pour the tea. It smelled like perfume with a slightly floral scent and looked to be light green in the gold cups. Lotus instructed us all to sip it as quickly as we could even though it was steaming. It tasted like it smelled, not the most savory tea I’d ever had but better than I’d expected. When we’d all finished our tea, Lotus instructed us to relax, close our eyes and await the desired effects.

I sat, my eyes closed, my body relaxed for what seemed to me to be a long time. Gradually, I felt a warm sensation spread through my body and into my mind, it seemed. I felt relaxed, somewhat sleepy and began to feel high. As the elation grew in my mind, I began to see visions. First I saw the moon and stars and then I felt as though I was floating toward them. The earth was far below me as I was borne upward by an unseen force, higher into the air.

I heard Lotus’s voice in my mind gently bringing me back to earth. He told me to concentrate on the place in the wilderness where Vesta and I had spent almost four years. I pictured the cave and then the tent I’d slept in. I was there, really there it seemed, yet I knew we were reliving it mentally.

“Just let go,” Lotus’s voice told me. You’re there in your tent in the wild that morning.

I let myself fade into the dream and saw the ceiling of the tent come into view as I lay there and then I seemed to doze off. The next thing I saw was Trey, one of the two hara who’d incepted my twin and I and had taken us with them to find the city they’d heard of. He gently awakened me and smiled at me. I felt our story begin to unfold.

“Vasha, Jok and I are going hunting and foraging. We’ll be back later, hopefully with a breakfast feast. Go back to sleep. See you later.”

He carefully closed the tent flaps behind him and I happily dozed off, looking forward to the delicious breakfast that was promised. Later, I awoke again as I felt Vesta slip under the blanket next to me. I regarded him, sleepily.

“I was cold,” he said. We snuggled under the blanket and again went to sleep.

I awoke sometime later and left the tent, expecting to see Jok and Trey preparing whatever they’d found for us to eat. The fire was cold and there was no sign of them or even that they’d returned. I sat for a while, waiting and then started to wonder why they’d been gone so long. Vesta came out later and sat with me.

“Where are Jok and Trey?” he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“I don’t know. They’ve never taken this long before.”

When the sun reached its zenith, we decided to go find land cress and mushrooms to eat. Afterwards, we headed back to our camp but there was still no sign of our companions. I began to fret, but didn’t want Vesta to pick up on my feelings. Of course that was impossible to do.

“Do you think some wild animal got them?” Vesta asked, his brow knit with worry.

“Of course not. Have you ever seen any vicious animals around here?”

“What about poisonous snakes?”

“Both of them? Pretty unlikely, don’t you think?”

“Then what happened?”

“I don’t know but let’s not panic. Let’s go look for them.”

We trudged through the forest in every direction as far as we dared, calling and searching. After two days of it, we saw no sign of them or what might have happened to them and we realized they weren’t coming back.

“What are we going to do?” Vesta asked.

“There’s no water here and Jok and Trey took their canteens. We can’t stay here. We’ve got to move on.”

“But what if they come back? What if--”

“They’re not coming back, Vesta. You know it and I know it. I clenched my fists and stamped my foot on the ground, causing Vesta to jump. “Damn them! What the fuck have they done?”

My next thought was that they better damn well be dead! I took deep breaths and got hold of my emotions, realizing I didn’t really wish them dead. I was glad I hadn’t said it out loud.

“Look, Vesta, whatever happened we’ve been left alone. We have to fend for ourselves and we can’t stay here without water.”

Vesta reluctantly nodded his agreement and we headed for our tents.

“Go gather up all your and Jok’s belongings and bring them here,” I instructed.

We dismantled the tents and took stock of what we had.

“Well.” I heaved a sigh. “We’ve got two tents, a few blankets, a knife, a cooking pot, and some clothes.”

Vesta gave me a desperate look. Yeah, it wasn’t much, but we had to make do and move on. I tried to be optimistic.

“Let’s go. We have to leave here and go on.”

“Which way? Where will we go?”

I thought for a moment. We’d been heading roughly northwest so I figured we’d keep going in that direction. We were bound to come to a settlement or something sooner or later. I hoped and prayed it would be sooner. Without water, we didn’t have much time. I also hoped that as har we could go longer without water than if we were human. It was a logical assumption but not a fact as far as I knew.

We walked for three days, trying to eat what we could find and sucking the morning dew off leaves and grass. It rained one night and we caught a bit of water in the pot, which we promptly consumed. We continued on for two more days. As we walked, I tried to keep Vesta’s spirits up. He seemed to be getting weaker and having a harder time than I was.

On the third day we were walking in an open grassy area, the summer sun beating down on us.

“Vesta, I think we’ll find water soon. The land is flatter here. Maybe there’s a stream or run or--” I looked around and Vesta was nowhere to be seen. I looked behind me and saw him, collapsed, lying on the grass.

“Vesta!! Oh, gods, Vesta!!”

He was lying face down. When I turned him over I instinctively put my ear to his chest, dizzy with panic. I heard his heartbeat and almost fainted with relief. I carried him into the shade of a tree and tried to revive him, patting his face.

“Vesta. Vesta!”

“Mmmmm…”

Thank the gods! He’s not completely unconscious.

After resting in the shade, I decided we’d wait until dusk to resume our journey. Maybe in the cool of the night we’d be better able to continue. When night fell, I felt better but I couldn’t rouse Vesta. I tied our belongings together with the tent ropes, strapped them to Vesta’s back, hoisted him onto my back and started off. I had to stop often to rest and catch my breath but in the cool of the night, I was able to go on. When day broke, I found a shady place and laid Vesta down. I foraged and brought back some large leaves and had him suck the dew off them as I did the same. It wasn’t nearly enough but I figured it was better than nothing.

On the fourth night as we traveled, me carrying Vesta on my back, I began to falter. I laid him down, sat down to rest, looked up at the moon and began to sob. I cried my heart out. I’d lost all hope. I prayed to Lunil to let us die together. Suddenly I heard in my mind:

Don’t despair. Look to me. Let me lead you. Come to me.

I looked up at the full moon.

Was I so delirious from lack of water and food that I heard voices in my head?

Deciding that I had absolutely nothing to lose, I gathered my renewed strength, picked up my twin and our few belongings and followed the path the moon made on the land. Just before dawn when I thought all was lost, I saw it. Actually, first I heard it--running water. Was I imagining it? I went toward the sound and there it was, too good to be true, a creek. I unburdened both of us and carried Vesta to the water. It was real! I laid him down near the creek, propping him up and cupped my hands, giving him water. At first I trickled it into his mouth but soon he revived and moved to the creek, drinking by himself as I did the same. We rested on the creek shore.

“We’re going to survive, Vesta. We’re going to make it.”

He managed to crawl to me and laid his head in my lap. I fervently thanked Lunil for saving us.

Later that day I awoke, feeling my strength returning. I wanted to find us some food but thought if Vesta woke up alone he’d panic, thinking I was never coming back so I waited until he woke up.

“I’m going to get us some food. Wait here and--”

“NO!” he interrupted. “I’m coming with you.”

“Okay.”

We walked only a short distance when we found it. I don’t know how it got there and I didn’t care. It was an apple tree. The apples were a bit immature but we couldn’t be picky. We devoured them but I warned after a while that maybe we should look for something else and save the apples until they got bigger. We looked all day, finding land cress, mushrooms, wild onions, lilies and their tubers, and sassafras trees with roots we could make tea from. There were fish and crawfish in the creek and rabbits and birds, if we could figure out how to hunt them. Heartened, we set up camp in a sheltered place not far from the creek. That night as we lay in our tent, we planned.

“I think we can survive here,” I said. “We need to learn how to hunt and catch fish, though.”

“We could make a sling from part of the tent,” Vesta suggested.

“Yeah! Good idea. How do you hunt with it?”

He shrugged. “I’m not sure but I think I can figure it out and practice.”

“How about fishing?”

“All we need is a string or line and something sharp on the end, right? Or maybe we could spear them with a sharpened stick.”

“Sounds too simple,” I said.

Vesta laughed and I couldn’t help thinking what a beautiful sound it was to me. I’d been afraid I’d lose him and I’d rather die than live without my twin. My eyes began to fill with tears.

“Vasha, don’t cry. We’re fine now. We’ll live. It’s okay.”

He took me in his arms to comfort me but I couldn’t help thinking of how close I came to losing him. I had to make sure he never got sick or weakened again. How could I do that in this wilderness? I prayed again to Lunil and to every other dehar I could think of.

The next morning I awoke to find myself alone. I looked around, half asleep and in a panic.

Oh, gods, where’s Vesta? I was instantly awake. WHERE IS HE? Oh, gods!

I ran out of the tent and began to look around in desperation.

“Vesta! Vesta! Where are you? VESTA!!!”

“Vasha! I’m here! I’m right here.”

There he was, sitting by a fire he’d built. I sank to the ground almost fainting. He came running over.

“Vasha!”

“You weren’t there. You weren’t there, I thought--”

“I’m sorry, Vasha. I just wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you certainly did that.”

“Come see what I’ve got.”

He helped me up and over to the fire. I was still a bit shaky.

“Look!”

Vesta had made a sort of soup out of tubers, land cress, mushrooms and wild onions.

“It’s nothing fancy but it will be good for us and keep us alive.”

I smiled at him. “It’s great but please don’t ever leave without me. We need to stay together…please.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

We quickly fashioned some rough cups out of bark and poured ourselves some soup.

                                                  * * * *

We got along well until late fall. We still had the apples from the tree and we picked some berries, tubers and roots. We weren’t sure how we’d survive the winter, or even how severe they’d be here. It was getting quite cold at night but with multiple layers of clothing, the blankets and each other’s body heat, we seemed to be okay. However, that soon changed.

After the first snow there was no way to prevent the ground under our tent from getting wet and we were extremely cold at night. Even though hara can stand climate extremes, it takes practice to be able to generate the amount of heat we’d need and being newly har, we didn’t even know we were capable of such a feat. We shivered and cuddled close, trying to stay warm but being that our clothes and blankets were wet, it was an exercise in futility.

One day, desperate to find some other shelter, Vesta and I went in search of a drier location and, I assume by the grace of the dehara, we found a cave. It was fairly spacious, dry and had a small opening high up in the back so that when we made a fire, most of the smoke would be drawn to the outside through the hole. We quickly moved everything to the cave, started a fire, gathered all the wood we could find, put rocks in the fire to generate heat once they were hot, hung the tent canvases over the front opening, and began to dry our clothes and blankets by the fire. We stored our apples, roots and tubers in an area that was colder but wouldn’t freeze. It was so toasty and comfortable that we could hardly believe it. After our suffering in the cold, all we wanted to do in the new dry cave was to sleep.

We had an endless supply of wood so the fire always burned. We could cook and keep warm with the fire. Vesta had gotten quite good with the sling so we had meat now and then. We were doing fairly well but there was another necessity of life that became problematic.

We had no har to take aruna with except each other and at the time, being newly har and still clinging to human rules and taboos, we thought that to be forbidden since we were brothers. We didn’t discuss it but it was there nonetheless, hanging unspoken and heavy between us. When we’d gotten more familiar and comfortable in our environment, Vesta went hunting alone as I seemed only to get in the way and scare off our quarry.

As more time passed, I began to more frequently have arunic urges I had to take care of. Whenever Vesta was gone for a while hunting, I took care of myself. I afforded him some opportunities to do the same and assumed he took advantage of them. However, as time went on, I felt like something was missing and Vesta actually became physically weak. At first I thought it was lack of nutrition, but we had the same diet. When more time passed and Vesta got weaker and sicker, I began to panic. What was wrong with him? How can I cure him? What if he doesn’t get better? I fretted and worried. Finally, one frigid night as we lay warm by our fire, the truth came out.

“Vesta, are you feeling any better?”

“No. I’m sorry, Vasha. I know you’ve done everything you can.”

I began to cry. “I just don’t know what’s wrong. I can’t figure it out. I don’t know how to help you. I couldn’t bear it if you, if you--” I put my face in my hands and sobbed.

Vesta came to me and put his arms around me. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” He pulled back and looked serious.

“I know what’s wrong with me, Vasha.”

I looked intently at him, wondering if he knew, why on earth hadn’t he told me?

“I need aruna. I know that’s what’s wrong. I can feel it.” He looked down, embarrassed.

“Why didn’t you say something?”

He shrugged. “It’s weird, you know. We’re brothers. I knew you wouldn’t want to, to…” His voice faltered.

“Vesta, gods! I’d do anything to make you well! We’ll figure something out.”

At first, I felt really weird about taking aruna with my own brother but these were extenuating circumstances. The first time, Vesta requested that I be ouana so I asked him to wait and I went outside, getting myself to the point where all I had to do was to come back to him and quickly roon him, being ouana. I tried to detach myself from the whole process. After doing this a few times, Vesta vastly improved. I noticed that he didn’t seem to be as uptight about the whole thing as I was.

One night not too much later, he told me he wanted to be ouana. So much for my being detached. Vesta saw no reason to do as I’d done. He kissed me, shared breath with me and pleasured me. I couldn’t help myself, it was so enjoyable. I lost myself in the pleasures of the moment and let the fact that I was being rooned by my brother fade into the background. Afterwards, we lay together and I found myself feeling totally satisfied but my mind wouldn’t let me be completely okay with it. Vesta was asleep, pleasantly sated and happy. Was I the one who needed an attitude adjustment?

We spent the winter warm, safe, fairly well fed and satisfied in the cave. I still harbored strange feelings about taking aruna with my twin but it didn’t stop me from doing so or taking pleasure in it. Vesta always seemed to completely abandon himself and enjoy aruna but sometimes afterwards he’d turn away from me and get very quiet. I thought he felt guilty, too.

                                                                               ``*`` to be continued ``*``

Gemini Post 18

persephone100 — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 23:30:45 GMT

Zephyr and I slept in until after noon. When I awoke, I lay on my side and watched my lover sleep. I let my eyes meander over his face and body, marveling at his beauty and the fact that he was in love with me. I snuggled close to him, drinking in his fragrance and fell asleep again.

I awoke later when Zef stirred and stretched.

Zephyr, I watched you sleep earlier. You’re so, so beautiful. Sometimes I can’t believe you’re mine.

He smiled at me. Oh, I’m yours, Vasha. Believe it. I’m so yours!

We kissed and one thing led to another. Quite a while later, we lay totally sated in each other’s arms. We took a shower together and then headed for the kitchen, where we found Vesta preparing lunch.

“Nothing like true love to make you late for meals,” my twin teased. He’d made Zephyr laugh and blush, which looked so becoming on him.

“I guess I’ll make two more grilled ham and cheeses, huh?”

“Yes, please,“ I said as Zephyr and I settled ourselves at the bar.

“Where’s Leath?” I inquired.

“Snoozing on the balcony. We’re a little late for lunch, too,” he said with a wink.

When the sandwiches were ready, we all sat at the table, enjoying them with some iced tea. As we laughed and made small talk I was encouraged by the way Zephyr seemed relaxed and comfortable with Leath and Vesta. I had every hope that all his insecurity about Leath was, if not already, soon to be a thing of the past.

There was still, in my mind at least, one hurdle we needed to get over before things were really right. I had no idea how to broach the subject of what Leath did for a living and was loath to spoil things for Vesta by asking. I thought that maybe by our telling him all our secrets he would feel comfortable telling us his. I had no idea how this could possibly play out. However, one night changed all that.

The four of us had gone out to dinner at the very intimate Inclinations restaurant where Vesta and I had given Leath his ring. We sat as couples in a private booth, Vesta and Leath on one side and Zef and I on the other. We really got into the mood of the place, drinking from the same bottle, feeding each other, joking with a heavy dose of innuendo, and by the time we were finished and on our way home we were all, it seemed to me, feeling very roony, tipsy and close.

When we got home we headed straight for the balcony and sat together enjoying the night view. Leath went inside and brought out a bottle of liqueur. We giggled, obviously having the same thought: more alcohol? Oh well, okay.

After drinking and talking for a while, Vesta initiated something more. He came over to me and sat on my lap, kissed me and said into my mind, I’ve missed you, Vasha.

I know. I feel the same way. Maybe…but only if Zephyr is okay with it.

I pressed my face into Vesta’s neck as he caressed me. I then looked over to Zephyr who, to my utter surprise and amazement, was sharing breath with Leath!

So many thoughts assailed my mind. Should I let Zef be with Leath alone? Should we make it a foursome? Should we just do foreplay and then pair up as usual? I had no answers so I decided to relax and let the arunic flow take us where it would.

Things heated up quickly and before long Leath stood up, pulling Zephyr up with him. Vesta and I got up and went over to them.

“How would you all feel about going to Vesta’s and my bed?” Leath suggested.

I looked to Zef, who smiled at me and nodded his approval of the offer. I felt so in love with him in that moment. I took his hand and thanked him in mind touch. With my hand still in my brother’s and the lovely sight before me of Zephyr’s smile, we then went to Leath and Vesta’s room, where we all disrobed and got into bed together.

Zef and I were smiling and giggling. Vesta looked to me happily and Leath, it seemed, was the only one to have a decidedly lustful look in his eyes. I sensed that the vibes were good between all the members of our little soon-to-be foursome.

The dynamics were a mystery to me but when we lay together on the bed, things just started happening. Vesta and I had taken aruna with Leath lots of times but now things would be different. Zef was in the mix and I didn’t want anything to go wrong or make him feel weird.

As it turned out, I needn’t have worried. Zephyr took me in his arms and kissed and shared breath with me then giving me a sly smile, he moved to Vesta who willingly reciprocated his advances. Then I moved to kiss and share breath with Leath.

Leath spoke into my mind. Your lover seems to have loosened up a bit.

Yes! I can’t believe that I can be with you in front of him!

He must really love you.

Gods! I hope so!

I became extremely aroused by Leath’s familiar and sorely missed scent and touch. Arunic euphoria overtook me as the dizzying feeling of being with the three hara that I loved and desired the most was almost too much for me to bear. I eagerly absorbed their myriad images as I felt myself almost floating, soaring high on aruna. I fondly remember our kisses, our heated bodies, all the erotic sounds and scents that surrounded us as we took aruna together.

After our memorable night, we slept until very late the next afternoon. Luckily for me, it was one of my three days off.

I woke up first, regarding all the hara I loved in the same bed. I was between Zef and Vesta and I couldn’t have been happier. Zef stirred and woke up, giving me a smile.

“Do you remember what happened?” I asked him.

“Of course I do!” he said with a laugh.

“Do you know how happy you’ve made me?”

He snuggled close to me. “I’m glad. I want to make you happy. I love you.”

“But were you really okay with last night?”

He looked into my eyes and answered, “Yes. Oh yes!”

I drew him closer. “Gods, I love you…I love you”

I promptly fell asleep again and when I awoke later, the others were already awake.

We sat at the bar and had breakfast and soon afterwards Leath said he had to leave on business. After our beautiful night together, I knew I couldn’t stand to have secrets between us any longer. The time seemed so fortuitous that I decided it was now or never so I quickly sent Vesta my thoughts. He hesitated, closed his eyes for a moment and then looked determinedly into mine, nodding his agreement.

“Leath?” I said.

He regarded me, seeming almost to sense what was next.

“You know how I feel about you and you know that I would never do anything to upset you or--” I hesitated. “We were so close last night, all of us and…”

I put my face in my hands, as I sensed the other hara’s apprehension. I looked up and stated what I had to.

“I need to know what you do. I don’t care what it is. My feelings for you won‘t change, but I need to know.”

He held my gaze, his countenance unreadable. With his head lowered and his eyes closed, he nodded in agreement with my heartfelt request. I knew Vesta and Zephyr were watching and I hoped we could have no secrets from each other.

“Yes. Okay, Vasha, okay.”

He took a few moments, seeming to collect his thoughts and then he looked into my eyes.

“I do gather snakes, but there’s something more important that I collect in the wild. It’s a plant, a flower that has medicinal as well as recreational value. It’s called “Vallucia.” Roughly translated it means dream flower or lucid dream. That’s why I go into the remote areas. It only grows in certain places and it can’t be cultivated. Hara have tried and failed. I had to keep going to more and more pristine and undiscovered places to find it. I found a large cache of it the day before I discovered you and Vesta.”

His eyes welled up a bit as he turned to my twin.

“No amount of treasure can compare to finding you and your brother, Vesta. You’re the greatest jewels I’ve ever found.”

Leath obviously fought back tears. I knew this was very difficult for him.

Vesta walked quickly over to him and hugged him closely.

“I’m sorry, Vesta, Vasha. I know that the dream flower has been used for good and for…not so good. I put the bad things out of my mind. I just delivered the plant. What happened afterwards, good or bad, I thought was out of my control. But then when we went to Naemien’s and on the way you saw the hollow-eyed hara that disturbed you--some of them were the victims of this drug, the ones who couldn’t handle it, the ones whose lives were destroyed by it. I tried to put them out of my mind, thinking they were the ones to blame. I was so determined never to be poor again. I--I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

“Leath?” I ventured. “There’s nothing more to say. I understand. And if it hadn’t been for you, my twin and I would most probably have died in the wild. I’m so grateful that you took us under your wing and helped us.”

From the corner of my eye I noticed my twin retreating, seeming crushed by Leath’s admissions about the lost hara.

Oh, Gods, Vesta. Please don’t be upset, please! Leath just did what he needed to do.   He had to do what he felt necessary to survive, like you and me in the wild. Oh, Gods, Vesta.

Vesta gave us all a look of feeling betrayed, shook his head and went out the door.

Leath started to go after him but I held him back.

“Let him go. He needs to process all of this. When he does, he’ll be back.”

“But where will he go, what will he do?”

“I don’t know,” I said, worried but trying not to show it, and knowing instinctively that my twin had to be alone to think. “But I’m confident he won’t go far. He just needs to be alone.”

“Vasha,” Leath said. “I can’t stand it. I’ve got to find Vesta and set him straight. I can’t let him go off thinking what he’s thinking.”

“I know but I believe when he’s had time to sort it out he’ll be back and be okay with everything. Please trust me. I know him.”

Then I ventured into Leath’s mind.

We have some secrets, too. Secrets we need to reveal to you.

Leath regarded me questioningly.

I can’t reveal them without Vesta being here but we have a lot to tell you about our time in the wild. You’ve been completely forthcoming with us and we need to be the same with you. Please be patient. All will be revealed.

All right, Vasha. Whenever you’re ready.

We waited, worrying for an hour or more and I began to think that I might have been wrong. I was about to panic when I heard the door open and ran down the hall to my brother, hugging him, tears of relief stinging my eyes.

Vesta, gods, we’ve been worried about you. Thank Ag you’re back. I released him and looked purposefully into his eyes.

Leath told us the truth. That’s a good thing.

I know, I know. It’s just--I remembered the hara, the lost ones. And I thought Leath was perfect. I wanted to believe he could do no wrong.

He’s har, Vesta. He’s wonderful but he’s not perfect. None of us are. Nohar is perfect. And how insufferable would that har be if he were?

I’d made my twin laugh through his tears as he looked at me and nodded.

Point taken.

We went into the living room and Leath rushed to take Vesta into his arms. They held each other and I said to Zephyr, Come, my love. Let’s go to our room and leave them alone.

                                                          * * * *

A week or so passed as normal and I was still plagued with the feeling that we had to tell Leath all that had happened to Vesta and me before he found us. I knew telling all that we’d suffered might be traumatizing to my twin and decided the only way I could be sure about things was to talk to Lotus.

I took a carriage to the healer’s home one day after working at Bijou. I walked up the familiar path and knocked on the door. Maize opened it to me and with his usual welcoming smile, he invited me inside.

“Is everything alright with Vesta?” he inquired.

“Yes. He’s fine but I need to talk to Lotus. If he’s busy I can come another time.”

Maize gave me a smile and patted my arm.

“I’ll get him.”

He disappeared and I waited only a short time before Lotus appeared.

“Vasha! What a surprise! Is everything well with you and your twin?”

“Yes, but I need to talk to you.”

Lotus led me to his kitchen as Maize left. He bade me to sit at his table with him.

“What is it, Vasha?”

“You know everything about what happened to us in the wild, right?”

Lotus nodded solemnly. “Yes, I do.”

“Well, I think the time has come for Vesta and me to tell Leath. But I don’t want to traumatize Vesta or cause him a setback. I want to know if you think he’s strong enough, healed enough and able to relate our whole story to Leath. I have complete trust in you and will heed your advice.”

Lotus took a deep breath before answering.

“I believe it would be right and good for Vesta and you to do just that. However, I suggest that you do so under my supervision. I don’t want any compensation for it. It will be an important part of his total healing. I recommend something called a ‘shared dream’ or ‘mutual visualization.’ That’s when hara, under the direction of a healer, share the same vision of an incident. In other words you, Vesta and Leath would all view your experience as if you all were there and I would be your guide.”

“I already told Zephyr so could he be involved, too. I don’t want to do it without him there.”

“Yes, of course. There’s no limit to the number of hara that can participate. It does, however, involve the use of a drug called Vallucia. Every har involved will have to take it to make the experience of sharing the same dream work. It‘s a flower that occurs naturally and in this controlled context, would be completely harmless. It affects the harish mind by further opening it and by making thoughts come to life as it were, creating a vivid sharing of thoughts and images. I usually make it into tea. It has a unique flavor when brewed.”

I stared at him, disbelieving.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, of course I am,” he said with a bewildered look.

“Where…where would you get it?”

Lotus smiled. “Leath is my supplier. Didn’t you know?”

I shook my head, fairly floored by the information.

“Well, talk to everyhar involved and get back to me. I’ll be happy to guide you all through the experience.”

I nodded, still a bit stunned and managed to reply.

“Okay. Thank you.”

Lotus took my hands and squeezed them.

“See you soon, Vasha.”

I walked out and in search of a carriage, still in somewhat of a stupor.

Leath supplies Lotus? And also the hara who take the drug for recreation?

I really didn’t have a problem with it all but I was amazed that the same drug that affected the pitiful hara we saw could also aid in the healing of hara and also be used to just get high, like the hara at Naemien’s party. I guessed that as long as it wasn’t abused, the drug was okay. But I still wasn’t sure. I couldn’t get over the coincidence of only recently learning about the flower and that Leath made all his money from it and that now we’d be taking the same drug for shared visualization. I continued to ponder until the carriage stopped and I got out and headed for our dwelling unit.

When I got home, I found Leath, Vesta and Zephyr on the balcony. They all turned to me and smiled as I opened the sliding doors. I headed to Zef and kissed him before sitting next to him.

“You’re late,” he said, giving me a seductive grin.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re here now,” he said, kissing me. I felt so at home and peaceful.

                                                     * * * *

The days went on and all continued as normal. Zephyr, Leath and I had our work and Vesta took care of the household, the food and all the domestic things of life. But in the pit and pith of my being, I knew there was one more hurdle to jump, one more dragon to fight, one more obstacle to overcome before things were truly right.

One night, as fate would have it, Vesta and I had an evening alone. After dining together, we headed to the balcony with some brandy. As we sat enjoying the cool night, the stars and lights of Metrarkka, I knew the time was right.

“Vesta?”

He turned to me, looking apprehensive, or perhaps confused. Did he know what was to come? I’d guessed the latter from his expression and how well we knew each other.

“Vesta, I think the time has come to tell Leath our story--all of it.”

He looked away and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and looking into my eyes, said, “Yes. I think you’re right.”

He gave me a pleading look. “But where do we start? How to we breach the subject?”

“I spoke to Lotus. I went to him to make sure you would be strong enough to do it at all. He said he thought you were but suggested that we do it under his supervision.”

Vesta regarded me, quizzically.

“Lotus said we should do something called ‘mutual visualization.’ He explained to me that it’s a shared dream between hara. We’d all relive the situation as it happened. All of us would see it as it unfolds. Of course, you and I would be the ones to show the others what transpired. We’ll all see it just as though we were watching it in real time, like…like a movie, sort of.”

Vesta knitted his brow as he processed the information.

“I don’t know--”

“Just think about it. I would never force you, you know that. Think it over and tell me when you’re ready.”

“Who would be there?”

“You, me, Leath, Zephyr and Lotus. That’s all. Lotus would guide us through the whole process.”

Vesta still looked unsure.

“There is one more thing…” I added tentatively, as Vesta continued to regard me with apprehension.

“We’d all have to take a drug to make it happen.” I shook my head. “Vallucia.” Can you believe it?”

Vesta looked at me, incredulous. “You’re kidding me, right?”

I laughed, shaking my head. When he chuckled, I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Don’t tell me--Leath sells it to him.”

“Yeah! You’re right. How did you know?”

He shrugged. “It just seemed to fit.”

“Like most things,” I said, “Vallucia can be used for good or bad. It’s not inherently either one. It’s all up to the hara who use it.”

“I trust Lotus completely,” Vesta said. “And I really have new trust in Leath, as well.” He hesitated a moment and then let out a long breath.

“Okay, Vasha, okay. I think we should do it.”

I moved to him and hugged him tight.

“When?” he asked.

“Whenever you say. I’ll arrange it with Lotus.”

“See when the others can be there. Whenever that is will be fine.”

                                                                                   ~** to be continued **~

Gemini Post 17

persephone100 — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 22:31:53 GMT

Quite a few weeks passed. Sometimes I visited Vesta alone and sometimes Zephyr came with me. He always came with me when we visited Leath. I thought that would be best for all of us. Zephyr had to work at Namien’s that evening--an evening that would turn out to be of monumental importance--so late that afternoon, we said our goodbyes and I went off to visit Vesta.

When I got to Lotus’s I walked up the pathway to the front door, gazing at the trees that were just showing a hint of fall color. Maize and Lotus came out the front door to greet me. The looks on their faces were surreally happy. It seemed like I was dreaming. Lotus came to me, took me into an embrace and said simply into my mind, Your brother’s waiting for you in his room.

I wanted to ask him more, wanted to tell him what I was thinking, but it didn’t seem right. I walked through the house and down the hall to Vesta’s room. I knew what had happened, at least I thought I did. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. His door was open, so I walked in to find him sitting on the bed, looking out the window. He turned to me with a smile and approached me. He hugged me and said into my ear, “Vasha.”

Tears filled my eyes as I held him close. He’d spoken--real words. He was healed. There was nothing on earth that could have made me happier. I began to cry into his neck. He chuckled, audibly, a sound I’d not heard aloud in over three years. Ironically, there were no words to describe my feelings. Vesta held me to him while I sobbed uncontrollably. It was all too much for me. I’d hoped and worried and longed for this moment for so long. And now it was true: my brother was himself again.

He pulled back from me, a wide smile on his face, and wiped my tears away.

“It’s okay, Vasha,” he said. “Everything’s fine now. Everything’s fine.”

I clung to his shirt and bawled my eyes out. I’d thought I’d jump for joy at this long awaited moment, but all I could do was cry. They were tears of joy, relief, and thankfulness. A million emotions, memories and feelings assailed me, overwhelming me.

“Come on, Vasha. Sit down.”

He led me over to the bed and sat with me, pouring me a glass of water from his bedside pitcher.

“Here. Drink this.”

I took it, looking at him, hardly believing I’d really heard his voice. I started to calm down. After finishing the water, I felt better and smiled at him.

“I can hardly believe it,” I said. “You’re really healed. You can speak. When… how…?”

“I had a breakthrough a few days ago. I just…found my voice. After all the mental and physical sessions with Lotus, it finally happened. I worked through my grief and learned that a lot of my guilt had no basis in reality. My feelings and actions weren’t wrong or ‘sinful’ and didn’t cause or have anything to do with what happened. It took a long time and a lot of work to get through it and see reality and believe it, but thanks to Lotus, I finally did. I feel free and ready to get on with my life. I’m healed. I know it.”

I stared at him, my eyes again filling with tears. He took me in his arms.

“Vasha, don’t cry. It’s alright.”

Finally, I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes.

“Can you come home?” I asked.

“Yes. Lotus said I’m ready.”

We sat there holding each other for quite a while. Finally, I pulled away.

“I’m living with Zephyr, but Leath invited us both to live at his place when you come home.”

“Yes. He told me. Is Zephyr okay with that?”

“Yeah. He’s fine.”

Vesta took my hands and kissed them.

“We’re going to be so happy there, I know it.”

“I’ll go see Leath tomorrow and we can arrange things. Zephyr and I can move our essentials in tomorrow and get the rest later. We’ll come for you tomorrow afternoon. Is that okay?”

He nodded. That’ll give me time to get my things together and say my goodbyes to Lotus and Maize.”

After spending some more time with my twin, marveling at the fact we could speak to each other, I reluctantly decided to leave.

Either Lotus or Maize had thoughtfully engaged a carriage for me, which was waiting as I walked down the front path. I hugged my brother goodbye and then hugged Lotus and Maize. I looked into the healer’s eyes.

There are no words for the gratitude I feel for what you’ve done for Vesta. I’m forever indebted to you.

No, he said, shaking his head and smiling serenely. I’m a healer. I’m glad Vesta’s cured. His case was special, intriguing and challenging. I’m satisfied that I was up to the task.

Still, I thank you with all my heart, all my being.

You’re so very welcome.

“I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon,” I called to Vesta.

He nodded and waved, grinning.

The unreal feeling I’d had since I’d set eyes on Lotus and Maize stayed with me during my ride home. I’d waited and prayed and hoped for Vesta’s healing for so long that it seemed almost impossible that it was now true. When I got to Zephyr’s and told him what had happened, he pulled me into a warm hug and told me how happy he was for Vesta and me. I knew his joy for us was real. He then broke out a bottle of wine and we celebrated. Later, when we took aruna, he sent me messages of how happy he was about my twin‘s healing and the new life we were about to embark on, all living at Leath’s. With those thoughts it seemed he had at last conquered most of his insecurity.

The next day I’d planned to go to Leath’s and tell him that Vesta was healed and that the three of us were moving in later that day. I wasn’t sure whether or not to take Zephyr with me to Leath’s. If I didn’t take him, he might become insecure again, but if I did take him, he would probably feel left out because of Leath’s and my long relationship and total joy about Vesta’s healing. In the end, I decided it would be better to include him, so together we set off that morning for Leath’s apartment.

As soon as Leath saw my face, I knew that he knew.

“My Gods! It’s Vesta. He’s healed isn’t he?”

I nodded, my eyes filling with tears.

He grabbed me and hugged me close. I felt his strange breathing and realized that he was crying. I felt so close to him in that rare moment of intense emotion. I’d never seen Leath break down before and I was touched that his feelings for Vesta were that strong. I tried to comfort him as he clung to me until he‘d regained his composure.

“Can he come home?”

“Yes. We can go and get him this afternoon.”

Leath surprised me by looking to Zef and taking his arm.

“Come in, Zephyr.”

He completely surprised Zef by pulling him into a hug. At first Zephyr let out a small cry of surprise, but relaxed into Leath‘s arms, closing his eyes, a warm smile gracing his lips.

“This is such a monumental day,” Leath said to Zef, his voice full of emotion. “You and Vasha, Vesta coming home. I’m the happiest har in the world today.”

I smiled to myself. Leath had really made Zephyr feel an important part of it all. Zef beamed at Leath and I had hope that all would be well between us. We stayed and visited with Leath for a while. He offered us lunch and then we got to planning the rest of the day.

“I thought we’d all go and get Vesta and bring him here,” I suggested. “Then Zef and I’ll go home and gather our bare essentials together and come back here.”

I spoke into Leath’s mind.

Zef and I won‘t rush. That’ll give you and Vesta some alone time. I smiled and winked at Leath.

That will be just perfect. Thanks, Vasha.

“Well, let’s get a carriage,” he then said aloud.

When we got to the healer’s, Vesta was waiting on the front porch, his belongings beside him in the pack Leath had loaned to him. He ran to us and Leath and I pulled him into a fierce hug. He was all smiles as he said, “Let’s go home.”

Leath went to get his things as Vesta and I held each other’s hands. Vesta let go of mine and took Zephyr’s, looking into his eyes. I think he spoke something into Zef’s mind because of the way they looked at each other. After their short conversation we headed for the carriage. Lotus and Maize waved goodbye to us as we were driven away.

Vesta heaved a sigh and spoke to my mind.

I have such mixed feelings about leaving. I couldn’t wait for this moment, but I think I’ll miss Lotus--and Maize, too.

That seems only natural to me, I remarked.

They both were so kind to me. Lotus spent almost all his time with me--all the physical and mental healing, the healing aruna. I guess I came to depend on him quite a bit.

I pulled him closer and he laid his head on my shoulder. Maybe we can have them both to dinner sometime.

He smiled up at me and snuggled into my neck for the rest of the trip.

When we arrived at Leath’s place, Vesta headed for the guest room to put his things away, but Leath reached out to stop him.

“Why don’t you put your stuff in my room-- our room. The guest room is Vasha and Zef’s room now.”

Vesta looked into Leath’s eyes and moved closer to him, kissing him on the lips. Zef and I snickered together as we realized they really needed to be alone for a while.

“We’ll go get our things,” I said. “It might take us all afternoon.”

“Don’t worry,” Leath said, winking. “Vesta and I can fill the time, I’m sure.”

Vesta clung to Leath burying his face in his chest.

“See you later,” I said, taking Zephyr’s hand and heading for the door.

“Oh! Can I have my key back?”

“With pleasure.”

After receiving the key, Zef and I left to go to his place and get some of our belongings. Zephyr had the flat for another two weeks, so we had the luxury of time. Since our room at Leath’s was already furnished, we had to make a decision about what to do with a lot of Zef’s things. We decided we’d think about that later.

“I can’t believe all that’s happened,” Zephyr began, flopping himself onto the couch. “Not so long ago, I had almost nothing and no har I cared about and now…”

“I know. Me too.“ I sat close to him and gazed into his extraordinary green eyes. “Kiss me.”

As we kissed, and I felt his silken tongue on mine, I wanted with all my being to be one with him; to possess him and be possessed. We shared breath and I felt his love for me come through in his images of sun kissed field flowers, trickling streams and deep azure skies of summer. I reciprocated with visions of the beauty of the wilderness: towering trees, wild woods flowers and rocky cliffs. My desire flowed and increased as we dreamed together. I broke off our sharing long enough to pull his shirt over his head and remove mine as well. We continued sharing breath as I undid his pants. He slithered out of them as I did the same. I smoothed my hands over his luscious skin and down his torso to find him ouana. I’d become ouana, too. I decided to show him the rapturous pleasure of climaxing as both. He slid his hand to my ouana-lim and then murmured’ “I’ll be soume.”

“No, my love. Stay ouana. I want to give you something special.”

He smiled, gazing lustfully into my eyes. A hungry grin spread across his lips and then he feasted on my mouth, making the soft pleasured noises that so excited me. I positioned us as yin and yang, before using my lips and tongue on his ouana-lim and then his soume-lam. He writhed and moaned quietly as I did so and seemed to be lost in the sensations. After a time, I lay on my back, allowing him to shift around and straddle me. When he slowly sank down, his face, a beautiful reflection of his ecstasy, captivated me. As he moved on me, I caressed his ouana-lim with eager fingers, moving with him. Not long after, I felt the delicious melting feeling signaling my release and I reached completion first, shining images of light flashing in my mind’s eye. Soon afterwards, I felt him climax simultaneously as soume and ouana. Zephyr gave a long, almost whispered moan as he shuddered and stilled. He collapsed onto my chest and stayed there for a while even after his breathing had slowed. Finally, he lifted his head and gazed into my eyes.

“Oh, Gods, Vasha. Nohar’s ever done that with me before. It was--it was--I love you.”

I chuckled. “And I love you. That’s why I did it.”

He laughed quietly and cuddled close to me as I ran my fingers through his silky, pale hair. We must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes, I could tell that it was very late in the afternoon, almost dinnertime. We quickly got our essential items together and walked a few blocks before finding a carriage.

When we entered Leath’s place, all was quiet. Evidently Leath and Vesta were still in their room. I smiled at Zephyr and motioned to our room. We put our things down and headed for the balcony to watch the sun set. I sat down and patted my knees in invitation. With an amiable grin, Zef settled into my lap.

“This is so beautiful. It’s like a dream,” he said.

“You’re my dream,” I murmured, nuzzling his neck.

He snuggled closer and kissed my cheek. Then we sat, enjoying the beauty of the setting sun over Metrarkka.

A little while later I heard voices. Leath and Vesta came out onto the balcony, Leath clad in only his pajama pants and Vesta wearing a blue flowered robe.

“Well,” Leath said. “I hope your afternoon was as pleasant as ours.”

Vesta blushed as he moved close to Leath and hugged him.

“Oh, I have no doubt it was,” I said kissing Zephyr on the cheek.

“A har has many appetites,” Leath joked. “How’s yours for dinner?”

Zef and I nodded and we all headed for the kitchen.

“I think I’ll make us an omelet. I’ve got a lot of leftover stuff I can put in it.”

“Sounds good,” I said.

After a congenial and filling dinner, we washed the dishes and then went out on the balcony to sit with some after dinner liqueur.

As we settled comfortably into our chairs, I thought back to when I had believed that I’d never see Leath again and never know the pleasure of enjoying a perfect evening on his balcony. Now my twin was healed, he and Leath seemed to be together, and I had Zephyr. It all seemed so wonderful. Then almost immediately, I thought of something: to complete this “perfect” picture, there was a missing piece of information that only Leath could provide. The thought of not knowing what Leath actually did for a living haunted me. The picture wouldn’t be complete until I knew. Why couldn’t I just let it go? Did it really matter what he did? I didn’t want it to, but the truth was: I had to know. It might have been selfish of me and if it would in any way spoil things for Vesta, I wouldn’t ask, but I really wanted to know.

And, if I was being honest, there was something else absent from this perfect montage. I’d told Zephyr all about what had transpired in the wild, but I hadn’t told Leath. I had to make sure Vesta was strong enough to relive it in telling it to Leath. The last thing I wanted to do was to traumatize him. But I was sure that he’d worked through it all with Lotus and I hoped he’d be fit and ready to tell Leath at some point. Then there would be absolutely no secrets between us. To me, that was important. I guessed I’d have to wait a while to bring all this up. Maybe I’d get over my need to do so; only time would tell.

Later, when we all got sleepy, we headed for our respective rooms. It was a little strange to be in the same space with Vesta and not share a bed, but we said our good nights and went to sleep with our lovers. As we unmade the bed in our room, I looked around, taking stock of the area.

“We could probably use all the lamps you have since there are no windows in this room,” I suggested to Zef.

“Yeah, and maybe my cushy chair could fit in the corner.”

The walls of our room were painted a sage green with cream colored wood trim. We had a good-sized bed with an ornate openwork wrought iron headboard, two bedside tables, a dresser and a fairly large closet. There were no pictures on the walls and two small area rugs on either side of the bed. We could probably use quite a few of Zephyr’s things in the room. We’d have to measure and decide later.

We turned off the lights and crawled into bed together. I kissed him goodnight and rested in his arms. Zef turned out to be even more intuitive than I’d thought.

“Vasha?” he said tentatively. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I couldn’t be happier.”

“You miss being with Vesta, don’t you?”

I sighed. “It’s just that we’ve always slept together, since we were human infants. He’s just across the hall. I know it’s ridiculous--”

“No, it’s not. You two are close. I guess only twins can understand how close.”

“Vesta’s happy with Leath and I’m happy with you. It’s different for us, but we’ll adapt. It’s no big deal.”

“I just want you to be happy, Vasha.”

“I am,” I said kissing him. I rested back into his arms. “I am.”

                                                        * * * *

We spent the next few days organizing our things until the room shaped up to be a very inviting and pleasant space. After Zef went through his personal things, he decided to keep his cd player and cd’s, some of his kitchen things, his towels and bedding and his favorite books. The rest he decided to leave for the next renter, with his ex-landlord’s permission. In less than a week, we were all moved in and settled.

I was only a few blocks away from Bijou and could walk to work but I felt bad that Zephyr now had to take a carriage to work at Naemien’s. He said it didn’t matter, and I knew he meant it.

We settled in to our new life and things seemed to be working out well. Vesta and I still got to spend a lot of time together and yet we both had our true loves by our sides. Vesta didn’t have a job, but he busied himself with taking care of many of the domestic chores--cooking, cleaning, and laundry. We all pitched in with cooking at different times and all did the cleaning up.

There were times when Zef, Leath or I couldn’t be there for dinner with the rest, but we just played it by ear and no har got upset about things. One night after I’d worked at Bijou, Zef was called to Naemien’s, and Leath was out on business, too. Vesta and I shared a dinner together and then headed out to the balcony. We sat on the chairs and shared a bottle of sheh.

“Things seem to be good with you and Leath,” I said, giving him a furtive smile.

“Yeah. Sometimes I can’t believe it.”

I took a breath, hesitated and then asked, “Have you ever asked him what exactly it is he does?”

Vesta shook his head. “No. I’m curious, but I don’t want to pry. I’m afraid of losing what we have.”

“I understand. I just think our perfect life here isn’t really perfect until we have no secrets. And I’m talking about our secrets, too.”

Vesta looked a bit uncomfortable.

“Vesta,” I said, placing my hand on his. “I don’t want to rush things, but I do think that at some point, we should clear the air. You can’t truly be one with somehar if you’re holding back something so personal, so much a part of who you really are.”

He nodded. “I know. I wouldn’t mind telling Leath about everything that happened in the wild. I’m just afraid of asking him to tell us what he does, because he seems so reluctant to do so.”

“Yeah. Maybe if we open up to him, he’ll feel like doing the same.”

“I don’t know--”

“Okay. Never mind for now. Just give it some thought. Don’t feel pressured. Only when you’re ready. And if you want me to be the one to ask, just say so. I promise I won’t do anything until you want to, okay?”

He smiled at me and squeezed my hand, “Okay.” After a pause, he said, “Vasha? I miss being in the same room. I know you’re just a room away, but--”

“Yeah. I feel the same way.”

“I wish we could all be together, at least sometimes.”

“Me, too. Zephyr’s…well, he’s a little threatened by Leath. He’s fine with you, but he told me he didn’t like that I took aruna with Leath. He felt guilty about his feelings, but at least he was truthful with me. I’m hoping time will heal all that. He said he really likes Leath, but I’m afraid there’s still some jealousy there. I’m sure it’ll fade with time. I don’t want to push him.”

“It’s okay. I know. I like Zef. I liked him right away. Maybe he’s been hurt in the past.”

“He told me he’d never felt anything strong for a har before. I think it’s just inexperience and insecurity. I hope I can remedy that. I really love him. I’ve even entertained the thought of asking him to be chesna with me.”

“Really!? That ought to do away with his insecurity!”

“Well, maybe. I need to think about it some more.”

Vesta flashed me a hint of a wistful smile.

“I feel the same way about Leath. I would never ask him to be chesna, though.”

I regarded him, puzzled.

“Why not?”

He shrugged. “I just think in our circumstances, it should come from him.”

“Why?”

A sigh escaped his lips.

“Because I have the suspicion that I feel more for him than he does for me.”

“You don’t know that. He really missed you when you were with Lotus. He told me so. And when he knew you were healed, he cried. And Leath doesn’t cry easily!”

“I’m just not sure.”

“In any relationship there’s almost always one who feels more for the other, even if it’s only slightly. Things are never one hundred percent perfect.”

“I guess so.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just enjoy each other and see where it leads.

“Here,” I said, handing him the bottle. “Drink up. This is probably one of the rare times we’ll be alone together.”

He laughed and took a long swig. We sat watching the sun set and the stars appear. I moved my chair next to him so I could rest my head on his shoulder as we enjoyed ourselves, sharing the sheh, the view and the evening.

A few hours later, I heard the front door close, and soon after, Leath came out onto the balcony.

“Whew! I’m so glad to be home,” he said as he plopped down in a chair. He regarded us, grinning.

“Looks like you two had a pleasant evening.”

Vesta smiled and I stretched and said, “Yeah, we did.”

“Is Zephyr working at Naemien’s?”

I nodded. “He probably won’t be home until very late.”

“I’m going to get a snack. Want anything?”

Vesta and I shook our heads.

Leath came back with a sandwich.

“Anything left in that bottle?”

I passed it to him.

After sitting and talking for a while, Leath said, “I guess I’ll go to bed.” The look he gave Vesta, however, implied that sleep was far from immediate on his agenda.

After giving me a quick hug goodnight, Vesta winked at me and followed Leath inside.

I decided to stay up and wait for Zephyr. I didn’t have to work for the next three days, but even if I’d had to, I’d have waited up. I settled into my chair and looked at the stars in the night sky.

Despite my valiant efforts to stay awake, the next thing I felt was Zephyr’s warm lips on mine. I opened my eyes to see him smiling.

“I meant to wait up,” I said. “I guess I didn’t quite make it.”

He laughed.

“What time is it?” I asked, groggily.

“About five o‘clock.”

“Must have been a pretty good party.”

He shrugged and said, “Let’s go to bed.”

                                                                                     ~~==** to be continued**==~~

Gemini Post 16

persephone100 — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:14:21 GMT

After four days of working at Bijou, it was time for my three days off. I decided that the first thing I’d do was visit Vesta. I wanted to take Zephyr with me as I thought it was time I told Vesta that I was in love. I wasn’t apprehensive at all. I knew Vesta would be happy for me and I also knew in my heart that he’d like Zephyr and I was sure that Zephyr would like Vesta. I just hoped that it wasn’t too soon to ask Zef to come with me. We hadn’t been together that long, and I wasn’t always able to anticipate his reactions. The morning of my first day off I decided to mention it to Zephyr. We’d just finished breakfast and prophetically enough, Zef asked what I wanted to do that day. I smiled and looked intently into his eyes.

“I’d like to visit Vesta. And I’d like you to come with me. I think it’s time my twin met you.”

He looked at me for a moment and then answered.

“Really? Yeah! I’d love to meet him. Do you think he’ll like me?”

I walked over to him and took his face in my hands, looking deep into his emerald eyes.

“I’m sure of it.”

I kissed his lips softly and spoke to his mind.

Vesta and I are practically one har. I have no doubt at all that he’ll like the har I truly love.

When we parted, Zef looked happily and confidently into my eyes.

Then what are we waiting for?

I shrugged, laughing. “Just a carriage, I guess.”

Zef and I walked hand in hand for a few blocks before engaging a carriage.

When we got to Lotus’s, I gave Zef ‘s hand an encouraging squeeze. We walked up the pathway to the house and I knocked on the door. Maize opened it to us with his usual welcoming smile. He looked curiously at Zephyr, probably because he expected Leath to be with me.

“Come in,” he said.

“This is Zephyr,” I said. “Zephyr, this is Maize.”

They nodded to each other.

“I‘m going to introduce Zef to Vesta,” I said smiling and giving Zephyr a peck on the cheek.

“I’ll fetch your brother,” he said, looking back at us with a grin as he walked away.

Zef grasped my hand tightly. I said into his mind, Don’t be nervous. I know my twin will like you. He’ll be happy for me that I’ve found true love.

Zephyr seemed to relax a bit.

I turned toward the sound of Vesta’s footsteps and then regarded Zef as Vesta approached. He was the picture of amazement. Into my mind he said, “Gods, there are two of you! You look exactly alike!”

When Vesta got close to us, I said, “This is Zephyr. I’m in love with him and I wanted you two to meet.”

Vesta smiled broadly and asked into my mind, Why didn’t you mention him before?

I answered in kind, I haven’t known him that long, but I know that I love him.

Vesta smiled and hugged me and then he moved to Zephyr and embraced him. Zef looked happy and relieved.

We walked out the back door into a sunny, breezy day with a sky full of puffy clouds and sat together at the picnic table.

As we walked out to the yard, my brother appeared to be communicating with Zephyr and continued to do so for quite a few minutes after we‘d sat down. Afterwards, Zephyr told me Vesta had explained why he was there and had also filled him in on his progress so far.

I smiled and touched Zef’s mind.

Vesta’s been incredibly open with you!   He trusts you.

I’m glad.

Do you like my twin?

Yes, of course I do! Then he added with a teasing grin, And it’s nice to know if something happens to you, gods forbid, I have a spare!

I shoved him playfully, laughing and feeling like the luckiest har in the universe.

                                                         * * * *

Over the next few weeks, I went to see Leath a couple of times. I didn’t stay overnight, but I’d spend an evening or an afternoon with him. Every time I came home, I got weird vibes from Zephyr. I thought we’d taken care of his insecurity about Leath. I knew Zef was trying hard not to show his apprehension and jealousy, but I suspected it was still there, at least to some degree. I didn’t know what more I could do to convince him there was nothing to be jealous about. Finally, I decided it was time to introduce them. Maybe their meeting could dispel the larger-than-life image Zef had in his mind of Leath out there as the “mystery har I took aruna with.” This wouldn’t be free and easy like it had been for Zef to meet Vesta. This would be a bit more problematic.

I was afraid that maybe even the suggestion of meeting Leath would upset him. Of course he already knew him by sight, but they’d never spoken or been properly introduced. One night after dinner, I suggested we take a walk. We stopped at a café and sat outside. Over our strawberry shortcake and ale, I decided to put the suggestion to him. He smiled across the table at me, obviously relishing his dessert.

“I was thinking, Zef. You’ve met Vesta and now I think it would be nice if you met Leath. What do you say?”

His smile faded a bit, though I could tell he was trying to hide it. He shrugged.

“Sure I guess so. If you want me to.”

I reached over the table, put my hand on his and spoke gently.

“Come on, Zephyr. I think once you get to know him, you’ll feel better about everything. There’s nothing for you to be worried about. Please?”

Finally, he gave me a relieved and genuine smile.

“Okay. When?”

I thought a moment.

“I’m off day after tomorrow, are you?”

“As far as I know.”

“We’ll go then, Okay?”

He nodded.

                                                          * * * *

When the day came, we decided to spend it together and go to Leath’s in the late afternoon. I thought if things seemed too awkward, I’d suggest going out to dinner to give us something to do.

On the carriage ride over, Zephyr seemed fine, if a bit more subdued than normal, and I began to wonder if I was forcing the issue too soon. But if Zef was going to live at Leath’s he had to be comfortable with him. I started to worry that all of us being together and getting along might be just a fantasy too good to be true.

We finally got to Leath’s building. We walked through the large glass doors and into the lobby. By the look on his face and the way he was staring, I could tell Zephyr was impressed. He snickered and took my arm.

“This is really something.”

I laughed at him.

“You work at Namien’s! This is great, but nothing like his penthouse.”

“Yeah, but nobody ever invited me to live there!”

We laughed as we entered the groaning elevator. Zef’s eyes got wider and I chuckled.

“Don’t worry. It always makes it to Leath’s floor even if it sounds like it won’t.”

We were still giggling about the funky elevator when we got to Leath’s door. I knocked and thought I felt Zephyr’s fingers grip my arm just a smidgen tighter at the sound of Leath’s approaching footfalls. When he opened the door, he greeted us warmly and motioned for us to enter. Once inside, Leath hugged me and kissed the top of my head.

“Vasha, it‘s so good to see you.”

When we parted I took Zephyr’s hand as Leath looked to him.

“And this--” I began.

“--is Zephyr,” Leath said, finishing my sentence. “Who else could he be?” Leath approached him and took his hand.

“Vasha’s told me all about you and he certainly didn’t exaggerate when he described your amazing green eyes.”

Zephyr blushed quite a bit. Leath could sure turn on the charm when he wanted to.

“Nice to meet you,” Zef said softly.

“Come in,” Leath offered. “I’ll get us some wine.”

As Leath went into the kitchen, Zef looked out toward the balcony.

“Go on out, I’ll bring our drinks,” Leath called from the kitchen.

Zephyr and I walked out onto the balcony and to the rail.

“Wow…” he said in an enthused whisper. “This is incredible. I’ve never seen such a view.”

“Yeah it’s completely different than the one from Namien’s isn’t it?”

He looked at me, puzzled.

“Huh? I’ve never been to Namien’s roof garden.”

I felt so stupid. Of course he hadn’t. I’d probably had no business being there either. I hoped I hadn’t hurt his feelings. I was about to apologize when Leath came out with wine, bread and cheese and set it on the small round table. We all sat around it as Leath poured the wine. When he’d finished he held up his glass.

“To friends, old and new.”

We touched our glasses and drank. It was hard for me to read Zephyr. I knew he was impressed with Leath’s home and Leath was trying his best to be friendly and welcoming.

We sat for a while discussing the view. Zephyr contributed to the conversation, but when he wasn’t talking he did a lot of staring at Leath. I was pretty sure he was thinking about how gorgeous, charming and successful he was. I decided to bring him back into the exchange.

“I took Zef to meet Vesta. They hit it off right away.”

Leath turned to Zef.

“Vasha and Vesta certainly look exactly alike at first don’t they?”

“Yes. At first I couldn’t have told them apart except for their clothes. I kept staring back and forth at the two of them.”

“Did you start to see the subtle differences in their looks?”

“Yeah! By the time we were ready to leave I could see them.”

Zef seemed to loosen up a bit after we talked for a while. The sun was setting and Leath offered us dinner. I looked over at Zef, who nodded with a smile.

“I’ll get things started,” Leath said. “Why don’t you show Zephyr the rest of the dwelling unit?”

Zef was definitely impressed with Leath’s ornate bathroom and classy bedroom. Then we went across the hall. At first, the room brought back bad memories of the night Leath had asked me to leave. I put them out of my mind and turned to Zef.

“This is the guest room.” I walked over to him and draped my arms over his shoulders, touching his forehead to mine.

“When we come here to live, it’ll be our room.”

I kissed him, sharing breath as our tongues lightly touched.

“I like it,” he murmured when we’d parted.

“The kiss or the room?” I asked while giving him repeated soft kisses on his lips.

“Both,” he whispered, smiling as our lips, tongues and minds met again.

As we left the room, I’d decided that when we moved in we’d add our own personal touches and make our own memories; beautiful ones that would soon push the unsavory ones away.

Zephyr and I sat at the bar and watched Leath as he prepared our dinner.

“Mmmm. What smells so good, Leath?” I asked.

“I’m making baked chicken breasts that I’ve rubbed with herbs. How about baked potatoes and a salad?”

“Sounds good!” I enthused. “You know, Zef is a great cook. He can make the most delicious things out of almost nothing. It’s quite an art.”

Zef gave me a demure smile.

“Necessity is a good teacher.”

“I hear you on that one,” Leath said. “That’s quite an accomplishment for a young har. I never cooked until I got this place. Before that, I rented a room and didn’t have a stove. I couldn’t afford to eat out all the time, so I ate a lot of cheese and fruit. I only went out for dinner which was often my one complete meal of the day.”

Zef seemed surprised.

“You mean you used to be poor?”

Leath laughed and Zef seemed a little embarrassed that he’d blurted that out.

“I’d always been poor. As a human and then for many years as har. I finally got my break, though,” he added, giving Zef a wink.

Leath‘s admission about having been poor seemed to put Zephyr more at ease..

We drank more wine and ate some nuts and cheese until dinner was ready. We sat at the dining table and had a very relaxed and pleasant meal. Zephyr had really loosened up and was acting like his usual easy-going self again. After we’d done the dishes, Zef and I sat at the table while Leath fixed us a dessert of ice cream doused with mint liqueur. Before he came to the table I felt him touch my mind.

Did you tell Zephyr he’s welcome to come live here when Vesta comes home?

Yes. He didn’t mind giving up his place, which surprised me.

It doesn’t surprise me if he’s in love with you. Should I mention it tonight?

I don’t know…

Never mind. It can wait.

After dessert, we were preparing to leave when Leath suggested we first go and take in the view of the city at night, so Zephyr and I went out on the balcony. As we gazed at the stars and lights of the city, I pulled Zef to me and kissed him on the neck.

“This is so amazing,” he said with awe.

“Yeah. We used to sit out here every night. Do you think you could be happy here?”

“Who couldn’t! Really though, I’d be happy anywhere with you.”

We leaned into a kiss.

“Of course,” Zephyr added, “It doesn’t hurt that this place is absolutely awesome!”

I pretended to be insulted and smacked him on the backside.

“Ow!”

We ended up roughhousing for a few minutes and giggling like a couple of harlings.

I took Zef’s hand and we went back inside.

“The night view is unbelievable!” Zephyr said to Leath.

“The balcony’s my favorite ‘room’ in the place,” Leath replied.

“I guess we’ll head home,” I said. “Thanks for dinner and for everything.”

“You know you’re both welcome-- any time.”

We walked to the door and Leath gave me a hug. Then he hugged Zef, too.

“Thank you,” Zephyr said. “Everything was great.”

Leath gave us both a lovely smile.

“Good night,” he said.

As we rode home in the carriage, Zephyr appeared to be a bit pensive. I leaned over and spoke softly into his ear, using an ancient human adage.

“Penny for your thoughts, my love.” It made him start, then snicker.

“I was just mulling over the evening.”

“What do you think of Leath?”

Zef looked out the window wistfully.

“He’s beautiful, smart, entertaining, rich, a talented cook…” He sighed. “He’s absolutely everything any har could want. And he was really nice, too.”

“Yeah, he’s all that you said and more.”

Zephyr tuned to me looking a bit hurt. I chuckled at him.

“So? What’s the problem? I can tell there is one.”

Zef shook his head and looked away.

“Actually, I really like him. And he seemed to like me.”

“He did. Isn’t that a good thing?”

I moved closer and put my hand on Zef’s knee and turned his face gently to mine with my fingers.

“What is it? Please tell me. Are you jealous of him?”

“Not exactly.”

“Then what?” Now he had me a little confused.

“I’m not jealous of his attributes or his experience or anything like that.”

“Do you believe that I’m his close friend and that it’s you I love?”

He nodded. This was like pulling teeth!

“You’ll be upset if I tell you. I don’t even have the right-- I don’t like that I feel this way”

“What, Zephyr. What?”

“I…”

I could tell he was holding back tears. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“I don’t like that you take aruna with him.”

I blinked at him not knowing what to say.

“I’m sorry, Vasha. I’m ashamed of the way I feel. I know that hara take aruna with hara they’re not in love with. I’ve done it myself and it never bothered me with other hara if they did, too, even ones I was more than friends with. It’s just you-- only you. I only feel this way about you. I’m sorry for being such a possessive, selfish har. I’m sorry. I know all that shit about not being selfish with each other and until I met you I was fine with it. You must hate me now.”

“Zephyr,” I said softly, smiling at him. “Don’t be ridiculous. I could never hate you-- ever. I love you. Lots of hara have those feelings. I’m sure I’d feel weird if you wanted to roon some other har.”

He wiped his eyes.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. We’ve just gotten together. We’re enjoying each other. We’ve just fallen in love. It’s normal not to want to be with any other har right now. Some couples are always okay with rooning others and some like to be exclusive-- at least for a while. You’re not selfish. You’re in love. And I’m so very fortunate that it’s with me.”

I kissed him and he returned my kiss fervently.

“Vasha--”

“Shh. No words.” We kissed again and shared breath.

The next thing I knew, the carriage driver was standing at the open door, clearing his throat. We parted and got out. After I paid him, he grinned at us and said, “There’s nothing like young love.”

Zef and I giggled together and headed for his flat.

That night our lovemaking was deeply intimate and meaningful. Zephyr had told me what was really bothering him and I think he finally felt more at ease about things. I was glad he hadn’t asked me if Leath and I had taken aruna on my last two visits with him. I’m not sure if I’d have told him the truth. Leath and I had something between us that Zef couldn’t understand without feeling threatened. Zef really was the only har I wanted and I decided that he’d be the only one I’d take aruna with for now. I knew Leath would understand and he had his visits with Vesta.

                                                                          ~~==** to be continued **==~~

Gemini Post 15

persephone100 — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 22:36:50 GMT

Zephyr and I spent the next day together. We hung out at his flat and talked and enjoyed each other’s company. That night, when we took aruna, I tried to impart to him how much I cared for him, and that I loved him and that he meant everything to me. I wanted to make him feel secure because the next day, after working at the shop, I needed to do something I knew would trouble him.

We had breakfast, and then I took his hand in mine, knowing what I was about to say would be difficult for him to hear.

“Tonight, after work, I’m going to go and talk to Leath.”

Zef nodded, looking down. “It’s okay, really.”

“I may have to stay overnight to talk things out, but it doesn’t change things between us.”

He looked into my eyes. I stepped closer and took him into my arms.

“Zephyr--” I whispered. “Please don’t be upset. I’ll be back as soon as I make things right, I promise. This is something I have to do.”

“I know,” he said, hugging me back.

I pulled back from him and took his face in my hands.

“You’re the one I love.”

He gave me a wan smile.

“I’ll come over tomorrow and tell you everything.”

“Good luck,” he said, taking my hand and kissing it.

I left to find a carriage and went to Bijou. After the shop closed, I headed for Leath’s place. It was a short walk, but I got nervous and decided to fortify myself with a drink or two, so I went into a pub. After three or four glasses of sheh, I felt ready to talk to Leath.

It was so strange walking into the lobby and taking the creaking elevator to his dwelling unit. It had been home to me, but now I felt like I didn’t belong there, like I was a visitor. It made me feel sad and weird. I shook the thoughts away as I exited the elevator and walked toward Leath’s. I hesitated before knocking on the door. What would his reaction be? Would we really be able to reconcile? Then I thought of Vesta. We had to make things right for his sake if for no other reason. I hoped Leath thought of Vesta, too.

I took a deep breath, said a prayer and knocked on the door. I heard Leath’s footsteps and my stomach flip-flopped. Part of me had actually hoped he wouldn’t be home. He opened the door and gave me a surprised look, which then melted into a rather sad smile.

“Vasha. Please, come in, please.”

He seemed genuinely glad to see me. I felt a bit of hope and relief.

“Hi,” I mumbled as I walked over the threshold.

We walked back to the living room and Leath motioned for me to sit on the couch. This is so bizarre, I thought. This was my home and now I feel like an intruder, a stranger. I hate this! It’s like a bad dream.

“Sheh?” he asked, holding up the bottle.

“Please.”

He brought over two glasses and sat on the chair across from me.

We drank in an awkward silence for a few minutes. It seemed neither one of us knew where to start. Finally Leath spoke.

“Vasha, I’m sorry about what happened. I’m sorry I blamed you. None of it was your fault.” He faltered, seeming unsure of what to say next.

“I was stupid,” I said. “I should have known what Briar was up to.”

“No. You’re not to blame. He used you. You’re so innocent. He knew that. He--”

Leath got up, rubbed his hand over his forehead as if he had a headache and turned away from me.

I stood and went over to him, saying the first thing that came to mind.

“If you’d only told me about your past with Briar--”

“Would it have made a difference?”

I was taken aback. I honestly didn’t know. Briar was so irresistible to me. I knew I had to be truthful with Leath.

“I… I don’t know for sure. I’d like to think so.”

Leath turned to me, his face a picture of both disappointment and understanding.

“Believe me, I know Briar is hard to resist. I succumbed to his charms, too. You really didn’t do anything I hadn’t already done. He uses hara-- uses his power over them to get what he wants. I believe he’s incapable of true, loving feelings for another har. I found that out much too late.”

I felt so bad for Leath. He’d really been in love with Briar. I’d only been infatuated.

“Leath…”

We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment and then clung to each other. It felt good to have his arms around me and to drink in his familiar scent. Finally I spoke, tears of remorse in my eyes.

“ I know now that Briar used me to get to you, to make you unhappy. He didn’t like that you’d gotten over him. I’m such a fool, such a selfish, stupid fool. How could I ever have believed a har like that could want me? I’m sorry Leath, I’m sorry. You’ve been so good to Vesta and me. We’d still be in the wilderness if not for your kindness. We owe you our lives. We--”

“Shhh. Shhh. It’s alright, Vasha. He used us both. It’s not your fault. Shhh.”

I sobbed into his chest, feeling like the most ungrateful, screwed up har in the universe. He stroked my hair and tried to comfort me.

“Leath? I was afraid when Briar told you you’d be sorry. He can’t get you fired, can he?”

Leath gave a soft laugh.

“No, I’m not worried about that. It was an idle threat. Naemien would probably get rid of Briar before he’d get rid of a har that brought him a lot of money. Briar and Naemien aren’t in love. Briar’s a beautiful possession who manages his recreation and takes aruna with him and Naemien gives Briar the lifestyle he wants.”

He pulled back from me and looked into my eyes.

I’ve missed you… so much, he said to me in mind touch. All I could do was to look back into his eyes.

I want things to be right between us, I replied.

I want that, too.

He pulled me to him and kissed me, which blossomed into a sharing of breath. I eagerly immersed myself in the intimate visions he sent me. He showered my mind with golden images of us together. Being in his arms again made me realize how very much I’d missed him.

Please be with me, Vasha, take aruna with me.

Yes, Leath. Yes.

When we got to his room, Leath again took me into his arms, kissing me gently and passionately, letting our tongues smooth over each other’s. Soon we were entwined, naked on his bed. I wanted to be possessed; to be taken and became soume. As we took aruna, he apologized in mind touch again and again, as did I. We connected purely and intimately. We showed each other images of our feelings and how much we wanted to be as one. When he took me it felt so perfect, like all the hurt and the distance between us had vanished as though it hadn’t ever existed. Our reconciliation was complete.

As we lay together afterwards, Leath asked, “Where are you staying?”

“With Zephyr.”

“What are your feelings for him?” He had a definite twinkle in his eye when he asked.

I hesitated, then looked into Leath’s eyes.

“He’s, he’s…” I sighed and felt a flush of excitement. "He’s like nohar I’ve ever met. He’s…I’m in love with him.”

He smiled and asked, “Does he return your feelings?”

“Yes. He told me he did.”

Leath gave me a roguish smile. “Then that’s where you belong--with Zephyr.”

I smiled happily, feeling so relieved and content that Leath understood about me and Zephyr. It meant everything to me to have Leath accept and be happy that I’d found my true love. I relaxed into his chest and decided to tell him about Vesta.

“I went to see Vesta. He spoke words to me in mind touch.”

Leath looked amazed. “You mean real words, not images and feelings?”

“Yes! It’s a real breakthrough.”

He grinned broadly.

“Gods!! Gods, that’s monumental!!”

He seemed truly happy and added, “I need to see him. Can I see him?”

“Any time you want.”

Then I knew the time was right. I had to ask something I’d wanted to ask for quite some time.

Leath--?”

He looked a little apprehensive as he replied, “Yeah?”

I took a deep breath.

“What are your feelings for my brother, exactly?”

His face transformed, beaming with obvious happiness.

“Strong. I have strong feelings for him. I think about him all the time. I worry about him. I long to be with him. I look forward to our ‘conjugal’ visits.” He laughed. “I care for him… more than I’ve cared for any other har in my life-- even Briar. It’s different with Vesta. He’s for real.”

I hesitated and then said, “Would it make you happy to know that he feels the same way about you?”

He laughed. “Of course it would. Does he, really?”

I looked into his eyes, certain that he would see the answer there. When he seemed to truly believe it, he hugged me.

After a long companionable silence in each other‘s arms, I said, “I’m so tired, so drained.”

“Yeah, me, too.”

“I’m going back to Zephyr’s tomorrow.”

“That’s good. I’m going to go see Vesta. I can’t wait to hear him mindspeak to me in words.”

“He’ll be thrilled to see you.”

Leath looked pensive for a moment.

“I didn’t like it-- being here alone. I missed you and Vesta. I understand that you want to be with Zephyr and that’s fine, but when Vesta comes home here, he’ll need you. I’m sure you know that better than anyhar else in the world. I don’t want you or him to have to choose. Please consider asking Zephyr to come here, too. He’s more than welcome. We can all be together if it’s alright with you and Zephyr.”

I gazed at him, full of gratitude. There were no further words to say, so we then settled into each other’s arms and fell asleep.

                                                             * * * *

The next morning Leath fixed us a breakfast of French toast and sausage. As we sat together at the bar, I remembered something.

“I have a new job,” I announced.

Leath looked pleased.

“You do? Where?”

“At the jewelry shop where we got your ring.” I glanced over at Leath’s hand. He was still wearing it, which made me smile.

“It’s called Bijou. I’m sure you know it. It’s only a couple of blocks from here.”

He nodded in affirmation.

“I really like the job. And the owner, Keian, couldn’t be nicer. Right now I’m waiting on customers and stuff but pretty soon Keian and his chesnari are going to teach me how to make jewelry.”

“Really!” Leath smiled, looking into my eyes, obviously feeling proud of me.

“I’m truly happy for you, Vasha. And I’m proud of you, too.” He paused, chuckling. “You’re quite the successful young har! You’ve got a job you like that’s got a future, a brother who’s getting better by the day, and a true love! What’s next? A harling, maybe?”

I laughed, feeling the blush in my cheeks.

I moved close to Leath and said, “Also, I have you, who I care deeply for, and am so grateful to be reconciled with.”

He caressed my face, and then kissed me, telling me in mind touch that he was happy to be reconciled, too. We shared breath and sent each other images and messages of peace and harmony.

After our meal I told him I was going back to Zephyr’s. He said he was going to visit Vesta later that day. I knew my brother would be ecstatic to see Leath and that mind touching to him in words would really be exciting for them both. They truly cared for each other, it seemed, and that gave me a lot of peace.

I, however, needed to go to my own love and tell him all about what happened.

When I got to Zephyr’s place, I knocked on the door and he opened it to me.

“Hi,” I said.

Zef wordlessly opened the door wider and I stepped into the kitchen. I sensed something weird between us. I didn’t know what to think.

“Zef? Is something wrong?”

He looked into my eyes and his features took on a look of both insecurity and defensiveness.

“You tell me.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked away from me and asked, “What happened between you and Leath?”

I was afraid to tell him the truth, so I hedged.

“We came to an understanding. We reconciled.”

He took a deep breath, still unable to look at me.

“Did you take aruna?”

I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to be truthful with him, but would he believe that our union was one of reconciliation and caring and not of true love? Oh, gods, what should I say? I decided to tell him the truth.

“Zef, you must know that hara take aruna for a lot of different reasons.”

He regarded me forlornly.

“Don’t look at me that way, please. I won’t lie to you. Yes, I took aruna with Leath, he asked me to. We’d been close before. It was part of our reconciliation. I’ve never been in love with Leath and I’m not now. Aruna is aruna and love is love. I love you, Zephyr. Don’t you believe me?”

He looked into my eyes, then closed his, looking to be full of pain and angst. He slowly opened his eyes again and tentatively looked into mine.

“I want to.”

“Then believe me. Leath has feelings for Vesta, not me. He said that when Vesta comes home to his place, he doesn’t want me to have to choose between being with my twin and being with you, so he said you’re welcome to come and live with us, too. I told him I was in love with you. He wouldn’t have made that offer if he had those feelings for me.”

Zephyr crossed his arms petulantly over his chest and said, “Maybe he wants you close to him and he doesn’t care how or why.”

I moved to Zephyr and held him tightly to me. For all his easygoing ways, I knew he was jealous of Leath. I had to convince him that he needn’t be.

“No. No, it’s not like that. Please believe me. I love you.”

He still seemed skeptical, and I knew words weren’t going to be enough.

“Share breath with me.”

He regarded me for a moment and then somewhat tentatively pressed his lips to mine. As we shared breath I tried to permeate his being with my true intentions. I sent him the most intimate feelings from the pith of my being. He went limp in my arms and when we parted, he sighed, caught his breath and tried to regain his composure.

Now do you believe me? I asked into his mind.

Yes… yes.

I gazed purposefully into his amazing green eyes and led him to the couch.

As we took aruna, with my mind and body I tried to show him on every level my true love for him. It was all I focused on because it was the truth. I loved him and I told him so from the core of my being, from the depths of my soul. He was a willing receptacle of all I gave to him. It was beautiful, and as he showed me without words his deep love for me, I felt us truly become one. Afterwards, he laid his head on my chest, nestling into the crook of my neck and I drifted my fingers lightly over his cooling skin, feeling how it was so satisfying, so all encompassing. I felt as though we’d torn apart all the obstacles to our total giving of ourselves. Aruna with a har you truly love is like nothing else in the world.

After lying next to each other quietly for a while I said, “I know it’s asking a lot for you to give up your place.”

“Not really.”

I was surprised by his answer and made a questioning noise.

“I’m much more attached to you than to a place.” He chuckled then kissed me on the neck. “I’ve only been here a couple of years and I pay by the month so I’m not committed. I like this place, but it’s no big deal.”

“You never cease to amaze me, Zephyr.”

“Good,” he said, nipping my ear. “Besides I’ll bet Leath’s place is pretty high end. I know Naemien pays him extremely well.”

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Why hadn‘t I thought of this before now? The question I knew I had to ask.

Zef-- do you know what Leath does for Naemien, exactly?”

“Not exactly but from all I’ve heard and seen I think he--”

“Wait!” I interrupted.

He stared at me, still poised to speak, looking confused.

“Don’t tell me. I’m dying to know, but I need to hear it from him.”

“You mean he’s never told you anything?”

I shook my head. “He’s always been very vague and secretive and I think he’s even lied about it.”

“Well, I guess I can kind of understand that. He just… No I’d better not say any more, but if you change your mind, I’ll tell you all I know.”

“Thanks. I’m sorry for being so weird about this.

“You’re not weird,” he murmured. “You’re perfect.” He pressed his warm lips to mine with gentle passion and then pulled away, looking into my eyes.

“I love you, Vasha.”

“And I love you.”

Our minds became one and slowly, needfully, ardently, so did our bodies.

                                                                                      *====~ to be continued ~====*