Chaos Rains

It's been over two months now, so it's time I swallowed the bitter pill and posted what needs to be done.

My beautiful, gorgeous Blue left me on Sunday 29th November.  He was diagnosed with lymphoma in June.

Those of you who have met him know how proud I was of him when he attended the first Writers' Con with me when he still less than a year old and how well he coped with the crowd and the complicated train journey.

I am still devastated and very angry - he was only 8 years old and had half his life yet to go. If any con-goers have photos which include him at either of the meetings he came to I would be very grateful if you would let me have copies, even if he is only just visible.  Thank you.

It's been a long time since I felt the urge to post anything - and about time I got rid of the Thatcher heading the page.

I have just spent an hour, still in bed, listening on my Kindle to Simon and Garfunkel.  Over an an hour - first my recently downloaded album, Bridge Over Troubled Water and then to an hour watching the Central Park concert.  I couldn't keep my eyes off Art, he was always so relaxed and his singing so effortless - he would open his mouth and aural gold would flow out.  He was a master singer.

I've been considering another singer with a wonderful voice, Freddy Mercury, whose operatic antics were so different and yet whom I also love.  Freddy was showmanship personified, never still, always strutting and posturing - the exact opposite of Art's stage presence.  I love them both - they are polar opposites in the way they present their gift and yet both are outstanding.

I'm now going to find some sheet music - and get back to singing, a bit, myself; something simple for piano will do, I can dust down my keyboard and embrace the music again.

Right now, I am feeling strange having listened to this music and having given it all my attention for nearly two hours.  I don't feel the usual depression, but I feel unutterably sad.  I suppose it's because S&G were there right at the start of my adult life, enjoyed and important but not overwhelming - there were many other things,
groups and singers, and just life - and now there's nothing.  But the music is still there, AG's angelic, ethereal rendering of fine music, fun music and reflective music is haunting in a most literal way - it's the ghost of what I was, what I never did and what I've now become.

Get the sheet music, sit at the keyboard and sing it all out. It won't make life any easier or better but it will enrich it beyond imagining.

THATCHER IS DEAD!

Only a day late in discovering the news - not bad for me.

I've just this minute found out and am about to start celebrating. It's just a shame that the Alzheimer's prevented her from being fully aware of her suffering as her time approached.  If only there was a real hell in which she could suffer agonies for eternity, there would be some real justice.

Dying is the best only good thing she ever did and it's shame she didn't do it at birth. I've had quite a good few days this last week - with good news about my house value  earlier this afternoon - but this news has made my year!

To say that I'm overwhelmed would be understating the situation, I only posted as an afterthought before logging off for the night. I was a bit worried about an accident given that my only assistance (I'm not allowed easily managed tranquilisers) is booze and painkillers and I really needed to get numb and hopefully to sleep.

The next person who tells me that on-line friends aren't like the real thing (the ones who disappeared when needed) will get my fucking fist in their fucking face - you're the ones who care and help. I'll reply individually to all who have commented but not now - I'm too overcome with despair and delight in your support. Thank you.

Jake, hugs back to you. Trepkos - words can't express - even for a mouthy sod like me. If only I could have brought the beautiful Dr. Ahmed home with me! You are a perfect human being - apart from idolising the English one *g* but he is cute, I'll give you that, even for a Sais. Thank you. x

I don't know, but if necessary, I 'd like to say goodbye.

This is amazing - I've had a couple of dogs who would have been naturals at this.



I suggest you also look at the BBC news video of Max.

http://youtu.be/_j1Hq8L28Us

http://youtu.be/mHQ3JnZgvsU

And I thought Gerald Durrell had the perfect childhood!

This is amazing: a cat on a boat, reaching out to wild dolphins and pulling them in for kissies. I feel better than I have for months!