REDHEAD AGING NATURALLY UP DATE

REVERSE OMBRE -- LIFE EXPERIMENT

What happens to red hair in the aging process?  This is a question about which I became curious as a young red-headed woman when I thought about what my aging might be like.  Incidentally we redheads are referred to as "Gingers" in some parts of the world.  

I was reminded recently of my red hair curiosity when a young woman associated with the first college I attended after high school included me among former students with whom she wanted to meet during a visit to our state.  While we were chatting at a nearby restaurant a middle-aged couple stopped at our table saying they just had to compliment my companion on her beautiful long red hair.  That attention to her red hair color brought to my mind the many times throughout my life such perfect strangers had given me similar compliments though I usually kept my hair cut short. 

When I first began blogging over a decade ago I wrote about having decided I wanted my body to age naturally, including my hair.  What prompted my hair view, when in my early twenties,  was seeing an aged older neighbor with “red” hair.  My older neighbor’s unnaturally-looking “red” hair was obviously dyed and just seemed not to be compatible with her quite aged state and wrinkled face.

This was in the day when attitudes about hair dying required the color must be so natural looking that no one could tell you dyed your hair, so if you did you wouldn’t admit it.  You certainly didn’t want to let your natural color roots  show, so had to keep that dye job touched up ‘cause your hair was constantly growing.   Other neighbors who knew her said she had been a natural redhead but had begun using a henna rinse as her red hair lost its color.  Frankly, I thought her hair color was most unbecoming and only accentuated the aging factor of her facial features.

I began to pay special attention to redheads in the following years as simply a matter of curiosity to see what happened to their hair color with aging, thus what might I expect?   What I discovered was redheads’ hair color changes varied considerably with aging.   Some turned a darker brown, others grayed even becoming white, and what I hoped for myself was to be among those who retained their red though less vibrant.    

I recall a few years ago reading a blog (have forgotten the name) written by a middle-aged woman who apparently considered herself to be an authority purporting to be a redhead.  She stated that redheads don’t turn gray, that our hair just turns an ugly dark plum or purple, as I recall, therefore she had to dye her hair.  Hm-m-m!       

Over a decade ago when I began blogging I first wrote “RedheadAging Naturally”.   At that time I bemoaned the fact that first I had silver threads among my red gold -- years later,  then darkened red gold threads among the silver.   The silver or what I consider to have gone from gray to white my 86 year old hairdresser describes as blond.  Who is she kidding?   

I never wanted to be a blond, but have nothing against blonds – I married one, only to discover if he grew a beard it was red!   Unfortunately for him, he lost most of the hair on his head prompting him to repeat what my brother always quipped when his hair disappeared, “You can’t have hair and brains both!”

Actually, the gray/white/blond has some of my now darkened red-brownish hair threads presenting me with several inches of this darkened hair at their far end.   My granddaughter has told me this is actually a style some seek -- Reverse Ombre style.  (Unable to find a picture of an older woman but this link gives you an idea of the two tone nature of the hair style.).  I also wrote of my thick hair thinning slightly and that has continued which is most unwelcome. 

My hair is no longer short.  When I retired a few years ago I decided just for fun to allow my hair to grow.  Also, I half-seriously thought, in the worst-case scenario, that if I lost more hair and what I grew got long enough, that maybe I could cut off what was left and have it made into a wig.  I guess that’s pretty far-fetched. 

My original longtime hairdresser, much younger than me, has since had to retire due to COPD.   Prior to that she was frequently coloring her hair and it appeared so liked my hair color she began trying to come up with various matching dye mixes through some of my hair’s gradual changes.  At one point she had one mix on her head that looked so good to me when I was lamenting the loss of my red that dyeing my hair was tempting.  Then I thought of all the hassle I didn’t want.  I also thought of this which I previously wrote with these slightly edited words:

“Yes, I gave some consideration to trying to recreate the red hair color through artificial means--hair dyes. I know others, men and women, make this choice and I respect their right to do so. However, I have seen those [in the hospital, skilled nursing, rehab] who have become incapacitated, also become distressed, demoralized, and depressed when they viewed their reflection in a mirror. Their self-image was visually shaken because of their personal appearance, not only from the effects of their illness, but the sight of their hair dye disappearing as their unwanted natural hair color emerged.”

“Those are some of the several factors that have kept me from trying to recreate the original shade of my red hair color. The primary factor is that I strongly believe in aging naturally. I'm curious to see what happens during the aging process from beginning to end, and in between, with all the possible variations in hair color, skin, body shape, whatever else. That's not to say I'll like all the changes, but I will accept them, for they are me at any given point in time.”

I view aging naturally, my choice to live in place in my home, as one grand experiment which I explain to my adult children.  They sometimes become concerned about my coping with unexpected issues arising, wanting only the best for me, especially since they live across the country from me.  Life is an adventure filled with risks and as long as I have my right mind I’ve chosen the challenge of adapting to this stage of life living and aging naturally.

Redhead's Aging Skin -- Answers

Plastic Surgery May Contribute to Ageism

My previous post described some of this redhead's perceptions of beautiful skin and my personal experience with aging skin issues. I raised the question of whether or not to seek various treatments and surgery to alter my aging appearance.

Discussion of aging skin reminds me of those youthful ages when we all aspired to tans and sometimes took extraordinary means to obtain one. The ideal golden-bronze look was never to be mine, a shade usually only those with darker hair and skin colorings achieved. These were the days before sunscreen lotions were in use and the medical term, melanoma, wasn't as prevalent in our vocabularies.

I did use one of the tanning lotions of the day, in an effort to protect my skin, enabling me to enjoy as much time in the sun and water as my friends. Some of them used baby oil, and one in particular mixed iodine in her baby oil, then baked herself daily in the sun's rays. Eventually she suffered severe sunstroke from which for a while, they thought she might not recover. When she did, her future required she stay out of the sun ever after.

Despite my care, I did experience one or two unpleasant burns during my early years. I'm convinced some of the cellular skin changes I've experienced in recent years are likely attributable to those sun assaults. Fortunately, melanoma has not been diagnosed for me, but even one, two, or more pre-cancerous skin cell conditions are not desired either. Frankly, I'm amazed I don't yet have more wrinkles than I do, between my sun exposure and the aging process, but they may well be just biding their time before surfacing. One day I will awaken, look in the mirror, much as with those corner-of-the-mouth furrows, and see another new me.

Given the onslaught of anti-aging articles, advertisements promoting miracle treatments, and eternal youth commentary to which we are subjected today, I guess I'm supposed to be alarmed and even repulsed enough by the sight of my own aging face I should want to avail myself of some of those products and treatments at all costs. Probably, I should be rushing to my dermatologist, or plastic surgeon, begging to have my youthful looks reinstated. I know with such interventions I can receive temporary relief from these furrows and beginning wrinkle crinkles affecting my facial appearance. The secret word there, of course, is that whatever is done is "temporary." I can also have the magic Botox administered, because I've previously been the recipient of such promotion brochures and seen TV infomercials promising to rejuvenate me.

I also see posted pictures and signs on the topic every time I'm in the dermatologist's office. Furthermore, when I phone the office if they need to put my call on hold, I am repeatedly subjected to a verbal description of all the cosmetic services provided. The recorded informative message sounds quite similar to an advertising pitch. I have wondered if callers are deliberately put on hold just so they'd have to listen to the recording? What's the difference between providing information and advertising/promoting a service?

The message in our culture seems to be to disguise or alter the appearance of any body features we don't like, or changes that occur with aging. The not always so subtle thought being conveyed is that feature and body alteration is necessary and may be especially so for the aging individual's emotional well-being. The marketers having successfully seduced so many women with this notion, have increasingly assaulted men with the same ideas, as more and more are told to suction off those pounds and darken the gray from their hair. I wonder, too, about those teens whose body features are physically altered before they've even matured?

The implication can also be drawn that men and women who don't utilize all means available to seek a more youthful appearance can fault only themselves for being victimized by ageism. Possibly, an inability to accept our own natural aging process, then our pursuing some of these perpetual youth seeking purported remedies and treatments help create some ageist attitudes. Such desperate actions may actually contribute to the very age discrimination we resent.

Right now I could have just a little tuck on each side of my face to eliminate my furrows, start constant creme applications at the corners of each eye to erase those squinty laugh lines, and seek tucks for those slight upper eye lid droops. Eventually I'll likely need regular creme applications or botox injections if those faint forehead creases become full-fledged wrinkles.

I know, too, there are those professionals in various medical specialties more than anxious for me to contribute to their income by having me seek their professional help to rid myself of such unsightly wrinkles. I know, also, that the "fix" is, at best not permanent, and I must keep returning periodically, at no small fee, to rid myself temporarily of these natural body changes. Advertisements run rampant with all these wrinkle cremes that work miracles, if only I will buy their product, for now and the rest of my life.

Several months ago an article I read in a prominent West Coast newspaper included interviews with a group of women who said they regretfully were having to forego their frequent visits for facial nips, tucks and surgeries due to the state of the economy. They good-naturedly reported they could no longer afford this self-indulgent luxury to which they regularly treated themselves. These many months later with other product costs increasing and the price of gasoline going sky high to support the fortunes of those whose dynasty is built on oil income, I expect these ladies may be having to give up even more. I hope for their sakes they are able to content themselves with their appearance.

Maybe if more individuals have those ladies experience, some specialty doctors providing services for purely cosmetic reasons might experience a decline in their practice. They might have to devote themselves to providing medical services and treatments to patients with true health ailments. Some other thoughts such as these that another blogger once suggested made sense to me, too. Consider what might happen if we lessened the demand for some of those medical people devoting their skills, time, and energy to purely cosmetic beautification surgery at all ages, including for those who are simply aging. Maybe some of those now-unneeded specialists might gravitate to other needed medical specialties, and general practice, thus contributing to the lessening of a physician shortage.

This could be just one more small item that could help reduce overall health care costs a smidgen for which there is certainly a need. My experience of budgeting often requires many small expense cutbacks if expenditure reduction is to be accomplished and this might help a wee bit. I do not hear proposals for long-needed pharmaceutical company cost overhauls by our Presidential candidates where we might reap some really significant savings. The plans they propose offer some changes, but we're forced to continue dealing with the health insurance plans we have. Costs will not be lessened and there are not even provisions to see that all citizens receive health care. Meanwhile, everyone continues to age with or without health care coverage.

When I continue to think about my own aging appearance, however tempting it may be to preserve a more youthful look for just a little longer, do I really want to subject myself to cosmetic surgical mutilation, anesthetic risks in such a futile temporary pursuit of a false appearance? Observing those who have pursued such body changes, their appearance confirms ultimately nature prevails, since aging continues. Eventually, too many who have subjected themselves to seeking the eternally youthful appearance often begin to look like some grotesque caricature of themselves.

I know even these treatments and cremes enhanced by the most radical body alterations will not be enough to deter my body's aging. Would I wonder then, why on earth I didn't spend my money on something more important in my life -- for myself, or others? More importantly, why would I take even the slightest of health risks, much less spend my time on such frivolous pursuits with so much of importance left to be achieved in this world, so many more pleasures to experience before I depart?

Redhead's Aging Skin Questions

"You have such beautiful skin." Hah! What was the person who said that the other day thinking, as I quickly questioned in my mind that person's judgment? When I was young I had difficulty accepting compliments with a simple "thank you" as they didn't always match my own perception of myself. I've gotten much better over the years at being willing to accept praise, even if I privately think the speaker's words don't describe me. I've never considered I had "beautiful skin" as I compared my own to that of others I admired.

I was aware of so many with varied skin tone gradations from pearly white through olive, to a golden bronze, to others with skin color shades of the darkest brown and blue-black. These were much more attractive than my own. But I was always envious of those girls and guys, no matter their color, whose skin was as soft and smooth as the proverbial newborns. My facial skin never had that quality though I rather liked the few small delicate freckles sprinkled at the top of my cheekbones. But, my face lacked that quality of glass-like smoothness present on other parts of my body that symbolized the truly smooth "beautiful skin" I thought was desirable.

When I was beginning to pay attention to my facial skin as a teenager, all I ever saw were the zits that kept showing up periodically. We lived in a climate with a higher level of humidity than what I've known over the past thirty-five plus years, so I don't know if that contributed to the fact my face always seemed to have excessive oil, as did my hair, or if it was simply genetic.

I do recall some drug store products and others that were supposed to eliminate those offending skin anomalies, including a white creme in a jar and a tube ointment that were supposed to be curative. There were mixed opinions among users as to how effective those treatments and most others were. There were varying stories as to what might be the cause of these skin problems, also what to eat or not eat for prevention i.e. avoid chocolate, stop drinking milk, and additional remedies in other old wives tales, or mother's cure solutions.

If all those blemishes weren't enough, I also had a chicken pox scar in the upper center of my forehead. My mother must have been very concerned about protecting me from acquiring any visible body scars when I was small. My small pox vaccine was administered to a part of my body other than my arm because she knew the inoculation always left a scar. She thought it would never be exposed to view, not realizing the body covering bathing suits of her day would give way to those skimpy one piecers of my day, then the ultimate bikinis, and thongs of today. She would probably say now, why don't we all just become nudists and be done with it.

She always tried to reassure me that I did not cause that chicken pox scar by picking at the scab. I guess she didn't want me to go through life blaming myself for this disfigurement in such a prominent facial location. She said that scab fell off of its own accord, leaving the scar behind. The scar never particularly bothered me, so her concern was greater than mine. The reality is, I've never once had anyone note that pox scar, including my closest friends, who wouldn't have hesitated to inquire about the cause of any ghastly blemish had they noticed.

Since then, I have proceeded along the continuum of aging, as we all do. I don't know when, but one day some years ago, I looked in the mirror only to be shocked by this face staring back at me with two wrinkles at each mouth corner. These wrinkles running downward on each side of my face toward the lower edge of my jaw appeared to be erosions wide and deep as a river.

This sight was most distressing as I recognized myself. I could only conclude those wrinkles made me look like an unpleasant perpetually perturbed disgruntled grumpy person. Fortunately, when I smile and laugh those furrows disappear, a motivation for laughing a lot. The reality is I find humor in most any situation as I embrace a sometimes-quirky perception of life. I laugh easily, abundantly, frequently, sometimes even when I probably shouldn't.

Those wrinkly furrows were the first images that came to my mind when I was given that unbelievable, to me, comment about my beautiful skin. I must admit I did feel compelled to finally respond with words to the effect that there must be some mistake because, look at these cavernous wrinkles as I pointed to the corners of my mouth. The response I received was, "I've never even noticed those." Well, I thought, good for me focusing attention on that flaw, that's probably the first thing that person will notice about me from now on. I better not make that mistake again.

I just noticed in the mirror tonight, I have faint lines, or are they minute' creases... Wait! I think they are slight signs of wrinkles in my forehead. They go right through my chicken pox scar. Good heavens! Didn't that person even notice those the other day? Should I confront that well-meaning soul and point out these budding wrinkles to prove how mistaken the initial perception of the state of my skin actually was? I know the person doesn't have vision problems, doesn't even need to wear glasses and is not given to falsehood flattery. Perhaps the friend has a mental cog slipping, about which neither of us know. On the other hand, is it possible? Could someone actually perceive I have nice skin covering this redhead's aging body?

I'll consider what to do about these skin issues/wrinkles in my next post – botox injections, facelift, plastic surgery?