[

mood

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crappy

]

I'm back.

I've met someone, by the name of Sarah.

Details, details, there are many, but I am not going to tell of any.

I babysit for my job, as of current times. I get about 120 a week, with 40 going to my dad, right now. It's a very boring job. The kids go to bed at 9:00PM, with me usually being there until about 2:00AM. I don't know how I do it, but I do. It's very fucking boring though.

So, I will start with updating this nifty, in my life, tool. I hope it isn't too emo, too stupid, too fagtastic, or anything else. It is just me. Like usual.

So, here's to my first blog entry in a very long while.

Goodbye.

Sarah = < 3

[

mood

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happy

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Some information I found out today opened my eyes and made me a happier man.

That's all I can say. I am happy though. :dances:

[

mood

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amused

]

Holy shit. For once, my night was worthwhile. At first, it was rather taxing, I didn't know how it would turn out. I didn't have anyone to go eat with at Texas Roadhouse. I didn't know what to do, since older plans had fallen through the night before. In one small act of desperation, I called Lauren, the one with which the plans had formerly fallen through, and reorganized. I met with her, first time meeting, at T. Roadhouse. Needless to say, it was only 2 ours, but 2 hours of fun. I don't know, if it was just having a girl willingly talk with me, without me having todo something.. I don't know, but it was fun. I certainly hope this can be replayed and have another fun day as this was. It was incredible, for me.

[

mood

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lonely

]

Heh, well, I felt it was ready for an update of sorts. Holidays are abroad. Yay. Or something.

That's all, except my LJ Cut thing, below this line of text.


( In here, if you're up for reading moreCollapse )

[

mood

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cynical

]

Well, I have a reason to update, finally!

It has come to my all-important attention, that my grades are down. Who knew? Well, I know I did, and my parents. There are some explanations as to why they are down, such as called by my parents. I will list these in an orderly fashion, as not to cause severe confusion in the masses.

1: The reason for my grades being down, is simply not wanting to do them. My opinion in the matter carries no strength. It is meaningless. They control my thought, pushing false facts into my mind. I did not "forget" to do it. "Forgetting" is nothing. It doesn't exist. I chose, on my own, to not do the work, ever. Even if I didn't understand such work and I turned it in, I still didn't do it, which results in bad grades.

2: My drug activity increased due to a rise in social contact with other people. To solve this, it seems, I am limited to only weekend being spent with such social contacts I like to call friends. The "group" I hang out with is full of trouble. The leader, the one man who influences me, an adult of 18 years, is a 16 year old diabetic that goes by the name of Michael Curtis, also known as Vengeful_Scars. He pushes everything into my mind and makes me do bad things. Hell, I bought the shoes I am wearing solely on him wearing the same kind, yet only a different color. I didn't buy them because they were comfortable, I bought them because [b]he[/b] wore them. Also, my clothing attire has changed dramatically from shirts with funny, almost witty sayings on them to more dressy, almost attractive shirts. Again, that is a byproduct of one Michael Curtis, holding a gun to my head, and telling me how to dress. I guess my own attractiveness and my own wanting to actually acquire a female plays no part in this.

All in all, they blame everything around me, for problems that can only be blamed on their parenting skills. Hell, look at me, I'm such a failure. My grades havn't hit the needed mark they need to. It's my friends fault though. I'm not a human being, I can't make mistakes. I have to be perfect in every way while living an unperfect life. Well, I should pose this question to my parents the next time they want to start some shit over me:

Instead of blaming my friends, the world, and that dead possum that you guys saw on the road, why don't you take a gander at yourselfs int he mirror. You taught me everything I know. You bought me everything I had. It's not my friends fault, it's not anyones fault but yoursleves. Look at your own daughter, she was pregnant by the age of 16, and she never completed highschool. I'm a failure in your eyes. So what's the real question? It's not what I have been doing wrong, it's what you have been doing wrong, for these 18 years.

---

Well, that feels much better to get out of my system. In othe rnews, I like Mountain Dew. I also like pizza, riding bikes in the sand, and cutting off little babies life organs. I'm one sadistic satanizing fucker aren't I. Holy fuck, I'm an atheist! Hi Mommie and Daddie! :wave:

[

mood

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lazy

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I must be totally bored to write about nothing, which I am doing. So, my day was boring. I woke up late, well, i forced myself to sleep late and my mother woke me up, so i headed to school at the start of 3rd period and left after 4th. Viola! I need to stop missing school, I'm sure it's going to hamper my graduating acts of violence, or something. I took some brand new pictures yesterday and I made some drawings with MSPaint, showing what I think some of my favorite songs look like, in shitty pixalated artwork. Hmm, what else is there to say? Myspace is great, great for meeting rad people. Just like two days ago, I started meeting people on it. Before that, I was pretty much dorment and such. But now I'm blossoming into some wierd flower that smells like a heep of dried socks. Heh, oh yes.

Hesh wants super hott married SECKS.

juice

( Something to fill up the spaceCollapse )

[

mood

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crappy

]

Heh, look who's back? Surprised? No. Happy? No. The same old guy? Yes. I am back to this lovely tool to say my feelings and such. Heh, what fun, what fun. Well, this week has been boring. I am also nearing my 1 year of not having a siginifcant other, as usual. I'm getting use to it. It's not that different, except y'know, not spending time with someone, just yourself. So, how have all my avid listners been? Does anyone even visit this place anymore? I doubt it, since I have been rather dead for the past 3ish months. This weekend, which is still going on, has been off and on fun.

I got out of school Thursday for a 4 day weekend. I didn't do anything on hump day, but on Thursday I did my usual shit. Smoke some weed and drank some. The house we were at, the guys mom came home and ordered us all out, so I accompnied a friend of mine, Laurielee, to her house. Oh my. Yesterday was rather lackluster, stupid, boring, and nothing happened that made me want to stand and yell in happiness. Today, I don't know what's going to happen and I seemingly don't really care. I am thinking about just staying home tonight. I don't know if I want to be socially active anymore.

Oh, and here are some poems for the unlazy, their hidden within.

I bid every a good day, or try to make your day good.

-josh

"when I was young, i loved to be by myself, all alone
but now that i'm older, i'm scared to be by myself, all alone"

-the good life, tim kasher

( The Depressive Demons WithinCollapse )

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[

mood

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bored

]

Y'know, these days drag on and on forever. Let's recap on the last few weeks that I havn't posted any useful information.

As it stands right now, I have quit the sport of Football because I have lost all heart in it. I didn't want to play solely for the players, so i decided to give it up. I don't care if it was my senior year or not, it's gone and over with. My life drags on in unending boredom. It's like nails being driven into my eyes at such a pace that, y'know, you'd like to have them driven slower. I would love some alcohal right now though. Lap that shit up like it's chocolate and stuff. I want to go to Cursive, which is comming up soon, but I am not 18. I would love to have an I.D. stating that though. One of my favorite bands, and I am blocked by my age.

Heh, I havn't had much problem with the little people telling secrets in some while. It's still in the back of my mind, whoever sent that letter to my parents. That's something that will never be found out though. Hmm, school is almost over. It's blown by, along with many seconds of my valuable life. I need to get my grades up a little bit so I won't fail anymore classes. Not good to fail. Senior year is comming up, and next year at this time, I will be off this shithole and into some other place. I might take some kind of trip with friends that graduate and friends that havn't. It's all in the planning of my senior year, which isn't quite here yet. Well, I am done now, so do whatever. This is boring me.. this place.