So... if you suspected a parent or parents of heroin use... what would you do?
Like, I think it's no big deal really - neither one of them have ever given me reason to believe that they are irresponsible drug users. And my father - well I've already known he used to be a serious coke user and still occasionally indulges in it and smokes marijuana quite frequently - nothing at all wrong with the latter I just wish he were less awkward and repressed about it, like i really wish we could smoke together but because of my recent underachievement in life and mental health issues he doesn't outwardly support any drug use on my part including marijuana. He doesn't dissapprove vocally either but is hesitant to give his blessing. Which may be as it should be I don't know.
I've also suspected my father of crack use - normal bongs just don't look like that - and dealing - scales, baggies, vials, locked cashbox. Of course there's a moral dilemma with this as i discovered all these items snooping where I shouldn't be snooping. And it's a dangerous path because once you go there it's really hard to stop. On the other hand I would be very surprised if they don't do the same to keep tabs on my drug use.
I don't like being this nosey, but it's really hard not to be curious
And the fact that it's heroin is really fucking with me, because I've known and chilled with all sorts of drug users in my day even if I have never been a fan of the drug for personal use. I've had contact with the cultures that attract to pretty much every drug I can think of - except heroin with which I have no real experience. And I know the stigma is probably really exaggerated... but it's just hard not to let it get to you a little.
I'm probably not going to be THAT that bothered by it if it is heroin, but I really feel like I have to know for some strange reason... I'm thinking of having a friend order a marquis test online so I can just know, but I feel like that's probably a bad move and paranoid behavior. Plus... you know... I kind of do know already... I'm just not sure. But being sure probably wouldn't improve the situation really. In the moment it feels like it would but I really think I just need to stop being so curious and just let it be and have faith in my father to be responsible until I see signs that he's not.
But it appears to be an occasional habit, and insufflation not injection so I think it's probably fine. Just like, a little surprising at this stage in life. I would just like him to stick around for awhile and don't want him overdoing it like Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine or whatnot. And he does have heart problems and such. Blah...
Sorry, thanks for letting me get that off my chest...