I Wonder

Seeing the above meme on facebook this morning, I wondered …… Do the ones that got us into this mess really have the decency to be embarrassed …… admit that, for no good reason, they supported a man that has a history of business failures and debauchery.

I don’t think so.

My old buddy Apache comes to mind. He’s stubborn, which I sense many supporters are …… stubborn, will make excuses for the man, refuse to have been wrong.

Then there’s our MAGA neighbor.

I don’t know what she’s thinking these days about him. I haven’t heard of any political conversations going on, so I may have to bait her, see how she reacts when his name comes up.

Easter was on Sunday, April 5. The Activity Calendar for April indicates "Easter Celebration, April 21 …… fun arts and crafts session".

That’s a lot late to celebrate Easter, and I highly doubt there will be anything other than a bag of potato chips, if that; but it gives me an opportunity to find out if Kesha is still around, plus an opportunity to bait MAGA by wearing my "Lock him up" tee shirt. See if her jaws tighten, LOL.

Speaking of MAGA, when last I spoke of her, Talker was full up with MAGA trying to get too close, be Talker’s bestie, asking too many personal questions, "interrogations" Talker describes it. Talker was going to find a "nice way" to tell MAGA she’s doing too much, making her feel uncomfortable and, if that didn’t work, "I’ll have to take it to the next level".

Yesterday, as I was going back/forth to the Laundry Room, I ran into Talker, who tells me "nice" didn’t work. That she told her becoming besties is not something that can be forced, it’s something that happens organically.

MAGA is not only not hearing it, but is also now targeting the Baker, asking pointed questions, interrogating; which prompted Talker to tell the Baker to be careful of responding to MAGA’s interrogations.

"Nice" not working, "Trying to Avoid" not working, Talker’s next move might be losing her sh!t, screaming "leave me alone!!".

Stay tuned.

Today was the first day in a while where I didn’t feel like emotional and physical crap. Maybe it was because instead of reheating last night’s leftover baked potatoes in the microwave for breakfast with an egg, I made stovetop potatoes from scratch and didn't feel sick after eating. (See Mike’s very illuminating post on reheating certain foods).

I even had enough energy to suit up in walking gear, head out for a stroll around the complex.

Coming back to life is slow going. I could only handle 1 mile, and it took me 32 minutes to do so, 14 minutes longer than my previous personal best, but it’s a start.

Bare as a Baby’s Bottom

That would describe the grassy knoll after tree trimmers had at it during the week.

Before

After

Curious to see what other changes had been made to the landscape, I ventured out yesterday for a walkabout.

So far as I could tell, other trees had been trimmed, but our grassy knoll is the only area that has been decimated.

Turning the first corner on my walk, I spotted Painted Rock Lady standing outside her unit watching the tree trimmers operate the wood chopper.

We considered who we might like to toss into the chopper, after which she asked, "You coming to our Halloween party?".

"Is it a party? … the flyer indicated bingo.”

"Well, we are playing some bingo, but there will be other games, costumes".

So, it looks like Halloween won’t be a complete bust after all, but why didn’t the Baker have me indicate on the flyer that it wasn’t just bingo, but a party?

I’d specifically asked her that?

I’d even let her look at the boring bingo flyer just to make sure she didn’t want me to jazz it up by adding games, costumes, snacks, but she was happy with a plain vanilla flyer.

Oh well. It’s a good thing I’ve gotten this clarification, otherwise I very well might have continued my sabbatical, not checked in on the 31st.

Also, while on that walk, a neighbor mistook me for Tech Support.

This would be a neighbor I’ve seen at various events for years, but never bothered to know his name or interact with?

I do recall he was seated adjacent to me at the July 4th BBQ and that inasmuch as he’s somewhat disabled, as though he’d had a stroke at one time, couldn’t work his hands to twist the cap off his water bottle, had motioned for me to help him (motioned because he doesn’t speak), which I of course did open the bottle for him, later bussed his dishes as he has difficulty walking.

So, anyway, he stopped me on my walk, motioned that something was wrong with his telephone, placed it in my hand to take a look.

I couldn’t make heads or tails of the problem, other than the glass was cracked as though he’d dropped it at one time and the screen was locked on hello, being flashed over and over and over in various languages.

My guess was he’d downloaded a virus, so I told him it was best to take it to the shop.

He understood, so I continued the walk which logged in as a mile in 24 minutes. Not too shabby, but not good enough for a 5K. I fear my 5K days are over.

On that walk, I did see two other residents had "decorated" for Halloween.

Bless their hearts, but I guess something is better than nothing.

If They Build It, I Will Come

After being told, seeing the plans for, and experiencing a Starbucks Effects rent increase back in 2019, only to later be disappointed when the proposed Starbucks on the corner turned into a Seven Eleven, I was skeptical when hearing last year’s rumor of a proposed Starbucks across from the Pain Cave, on the same lot as the market.

Skeptical, that is until, walking out of the Pain Cave back in January, I saw construction had begun.

Since then, though I’m no longer working out in the Pain Cave, I’ve been keeping my eye on construction.

Finally, last week as I was driving by, I saw cars lined up at the drive thru, but it wasn’t until Sunday that, after grocery shopping, I walked across the parking lot to the newly opened Starbucks.

Now that I can literally walk to Starbucks, there won’t be the daily habit I once had. For one, my gut will now only allow Starbucks infrequently. Also, the cost is prohibitive.

The price of a Venti Half-Caf Americana is now $4.75 and, inasmuch as I always leave a dollar tip, plus the quarter change, that would be $6.00 a day.

A treat, once in a blue moon, will suffice.

I’ve got a lot of Starbucks memorabilia — Christmas tree ornaments, tote bags, an apron, not to mention coffee cups up the wazoo, but couldn’t resist the little Lid Stopper, designed to prevent the leaks and burns I sometimes get in transporting.

Sooo cute

It’s so far so good with my sabbatical from Crafts. Other than a text message … "Good afternoon beautiful. I'm just checking on you", when I didn’t show up for Monday’s craft session, it’s been better than good thus far with no contact, no further text messages.

Even my energy level is back on par.

I’d been experiencing an energy drain for weeks. I was going downhill fast, couldn’t manage 10 minutes on the treadmill, and couldn’t determine where the leak was coming from … source of the drain.

Amazingly, as soon as I disconnected from Crafts — being in Craft Lady’s presence, I began to feel like my old self. Just yesterday and today, I was back to 30 minutes on the treadmill, a few minutes on the cross trainer, back to the treadmill for a 10-minute cooldown.

I believe she’s, what is known in spiritual circles as, an Energy Vampire.

In regular secular circles, according to google, "An energy vampire is a person whose interactions leave you feeling emotionally exhausted, depleted, or anxious. These individuals are often manipulative, demanding, and negative, and they may use charm or victimhood to gain attention and control. Symptoms of encountering an energy vampire include feeling drained, physically tense, or emotionally deflated after spending time with them."

I doubt any of the others around her are feeling "drained, exhausted, depleted", as she comes across as just a normal good neighbor and the others aren't very deep, if you know what I mean.

I empath, so I can feel and sense with the others can't … that she's working hard to come across as the lovely, generous, helpful, involved neighbor she appears to be, and I don't doubt that she's sincerely being that. However, I can feel and sense that she's putting in a lot of effort to sincerely be those things, that it's hard work for her as there are underlining issues she's trying hard to keep at bay so she won't be judged, can fit in.

It's my empathing … sensing/feeling/knowing how exhausting this must be for her that's causing her to be a drain on my life force, an energy vampire.

I can't spend a lot of time around her.

It's all good now and looks like I’ll be on sabbatical until Halloween, and then just a drive by through the Community Room to see if Halloween is the dud it’s being set up to be.

Fire and Water

Management's End of Summer Fiesta, for us residents, was scheduled yesterday from 11:30 to 2 pm.

Comfortable inside, it took some effort to motivate myself into heading down to the Community Room, but I managed to talk myself into taking one for team …… snap a few photos for the residents’ facebook page, get fodder for the blog.

Arriving at 11:37, I was back in my unit at 11:48. Stayed just long enough to snap 15 photos, grab a quick gossip with Talker.

I'd expected residents to come out in droves, and was surprised by how few were in the room. Mostly, it was the Usual Suspects.

Maybe others came down later, but I doubt it. I know none of my three neighbors gave a hoot, neither did the four residents across the quad.

As for why so few, it's hard to say. There's been a general pall over everyone since Donnie Two Dolls took over. Some have retreated into themselves — don't come out, don't communicate with others, are living in their own private hell wondering what benefits will be taken away, if they haven't been taken already. Plus, we have a lot of new people — many of whom were previously homeless, placed here by the County; and I guess they are not the mingling, get to know your neighbor kind of folks.

No matter, the absences just meant there was more for those who showed up.

The menu indicated "2 items per person".

However, I later saw residents on the walkway, returning to their units after the event ended, carrying paper plates seemingly loaded with food made available because so few attended.

Dream Lover must have proved to management that he was cleared by the doctor, because he was seated and already eating when I arrived.

As was Lu and Upstairs Lady.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw all three were seated together.

I pulled the Talker over to the side, said that I’d heard Lu and Dream Lover were no longer a couple.

"That’s true", said she.

"Then pray tell, why are they sitting together?"

"Oh, they’re still friends. I told her she should have left it at that from the beginning".

"Why did they break up?"

"Oh, I don’t know".

Interesting that Lu is forthcoming to both the Baker and Talker about everything else, including Dream Lover's inability to "do anything" (if you know what I mean), shared that they are no longer a couple, but won’t disclose WHY they are no longer a couple.

Hmmmmm????

And, if the two now consider themselves just friends, why is she still touching him, can’t seem to keep her hands off him, because in one of the above photos (reposted below), you can see Lu is standing, talking to Upstairs Lady, but she's holding on to his hand, like she's afraid he'll flee if she lets go of his leash.

The man is trying to eat, for God's sake!

Closeup

There was something about Dream Lover's body language, while Lu was restraining him, that made me take a closer look at his face.

That is a man who is giving irritated to the umpteenth degree, like he wants to snatch his hand away, but is stomaching the touch because he doesn't want to make her mad, is holding it all in to maintain whatever "just friends" truce they've agreed on.

I saw that same angry look on his face the day before, when he was returning from Lu's area. I also remember seeing, early on in their relationship, a time when he was heading towards Lu's unit, stopped, looked down, shoulders slumped, took a moment as though he was pumping himself up to do something he didn't want to do; and then, once the moment was over, he picked himself up and soldiered on.

I'd even blogged about seeing that moment, as it seemed so strange.

Now seeing this look in his eyes, I'm remembering how it was that his first girlfriend fled to a battered women's shelter, never to return, and I'm now guessing his whole thing is about play acting, working hard to keep his anger issues in check in order to maintain friendships here on the complex, and his image of being a nice guy.

It's difficult to be fake, to play/pretend nice, and this photo is clearly showing how it's wearing on him?

Perhaps that's why neither of the two are saying WHY they broke up.

Did he slip …… do something to Lu, like he did to the one that fled, and they've agreed to keep it to themselves, let bygones be bygones, let's just be friends from now on?

It’s kinda making sense, inasmuch as Lu is Cancer, a water sign and Dream Lover is Aries, a fire sign — water and fire does not mix.

Cancer women are emotional, like to touch, are possessive and can be controlling (No offense if you’re Cancer. I’m just stating astrological facts). Aries men are adventurous, love the chase, crave freedom, struggle with patience and sensitivity — water and fire does not mix, and I imagine it's especially difficult to work through the ying/yang of such a combination when the Aries is not just a normal Aries, but one with anger issues.

Their saga continues …… at least until he blows his top with her or he finds someone else, starts the pattern all over again.

So, anyway, I supported the event by donating 10 minutes of my time, headed back to my unit, posted the photos to facebook, after which I worked out on the treadmill.

Yesterday offering at the Coffee Bar was almond flour chocolate chip cookies.

No News is Good News

I’m still here, still alive, just quiet because there’s been nothing to blog about.

My only contact with any of the residents was Saturday, when Next Door Neighbor, having not seen nor heard me going in/out in some time, knocked on the door to see if I was okay and yesterday, when taking out the trash I ran into Little Knock Knock.

She gave me a hug and, when I asked if she was sad all her summer fun here was ending that she’d be going back to school, she uttered a woeful "yes".

Baker texted yesterday, asking me to do flyers from next month’s bingo and a flyer for a "Labor Day Party" to be disguised as "bingo" because "we don’t want to announce it to everybody".

Labor Day isn’t until Monday, September 1 and we’re still in July, so I don’t understand working so far in advance, but whatever. I’ll of course help the community by doing the flyer, but is it bingo or a party asked I.

"It’s a party, but we just don’t want to put party on the flyer because then we will have like 60 people coming".

Even though the 4th of July BBQ had been moved inside to limit attendees — exclude the homeless/random residents and was a great success (except for Upstairs Lady pissing me off) — I thought that no one, among the 50 or so attendees, that the High Table did not want to be there showed up but, evidently, I was wrong. The High Table wants to limit attendees even further, must have specific targets in mind.

I don’t know who it is they want to exclude this time (though I suspect one may be Judy), but seems to me that instead of all this subterfuge as payback for some grievance, it would be better to be up front about it ... just let the person or persons know they are not wanted and why.

I think Judy because, as previously posted, Judy pissed off the Baker in one or more of the bingo sessions and instead of speaking up for herself as I had suggested, the Baker, as usual, internalized her anger, got others involved, now she and her High Table Squad are ganging up to shut Judy out as payback for the disrespect.

Good luck with that because Judy doesn’t read the room very well or at all, wouldn’t know she’s not wanted. So, all this subterfuge is for naught. If she sees an event, Judy will barge right in.

So, anyway, not my problem. I did the subterfuge flyer.

The office will be closed Labor Day, so the High Table is planning for Friday, September 5.

I won’t be attending.

Other than that, it’s been business as usual for me — working on that never ending needlepoint project, trying to catch up on recorded TV programs, walking on the treadmill, building up my endurance on the step climber, and my latest obsession — viewing (on the laptop) Chinese Dramas with Engish translations.

In the background of a fight scene on Trainer’s Instagram, I caught a glimpse of the treadmill. He’s moved it yet again. This time it’s up front, by the entrance door, in an area that used to be where his desk was.

Not ideal as still there is no privacy, but a workable spot with a view of the outside, fighters behind rather than in front. A work out station I’d not have been as opposed to as I was to being pushed into a corner by the sink and bathroom, but too late now. I’m currently happy with the in-home set up.

The coffee bar had muffins last week — blueberries and walnut.

Rumor is there might be Strawberry Muffins this week.

Problem Solved

Insofar as I know, not a lot has been going on last few days. The heat is pretty much keeping everyone on lockdown, so not much to glimpse through the patio window and I’ve had no desire to check into the Community Room, catch up with the Usual Suspects since the BBQ.

Nor have I had the desire to pressure myself into getting out by 9 am for the Tahirobics class.

After eons of the daily grind …… up early, get myself and the twins together, drop them off at school, make it to work on time and then, after the twins were grown, on their own, myself still having to make it to a job on time until the day I was mercifully freed from the grind through retirement, I was beginning to feel resentful of having to pressure myself, in these Golden Years, into another early morning schedule — this time just to keep my body from deteriorating, stay somewhat fit.

There’s just has to be an easier way, thought I.

Researching nearby senior centers, I found no activities that made me want to drive to, engage with other people.

The gym in the strip mall next to Ralphs Market, adjacent to Starbucks, has always been a viable option. I’d looked into it years ago, before I found Trainer but, at that time, it was just opening, and it turned me off that memberships were aggressively being pushed before the gym had gotten its act together.

Now there’s a pool, exercise classes, tons of equipment.

The classes offered looked to be the same as that covered by Tahirobics — at $10 a pop as opposed to the cost of a gym membership, plus Tahirobics is medium impact, safer for my body than the high impact workouts the gym offered.

Inasmuch as the only equipment I was likely to take advantage of at the gym was the treadmill, it didn’t seem worth the expense of a membership, plus again there’s the issue of my currently not wanting to be around a lot of people, but the tour gave me an idea as to how I could safely walk and strength train, on my own time, in an atmosphere free of others.

Problem solved.

My own home gym station — air conditioned, open 24/7, a cross trainer for full body workout, a foldable portable treadmill, and there’s even a coffee bar.

So, if anyone is looking for me, you’ll find me snug as a bug in a rug, working out in my in-home bunker unless and until people no longer so easily get on my last nerve, and it's safe to once check in on Community Room activities, engage with the outside world.

In other news …… not my creations, but good on those who created.

One Day at a Time

Getting up and out in time to catch the 9 o’clock Tahirobics class is proving to be even more challenging than anticipated.

Up generally around 6:30 in the morning, I’m accustomed to putzing around, not seizing the day until 10:30/11:00, but I’ve been pushing myself to give up putzing, stick to the program, get out in time to work out.

I was on a roll in getting into the new routine, until last Tuesday when, pushing myself, head in the right space, I arrived at the nutrition center only to find the power was out due to "no payment".

A forgetful moment or not the money to pay the bill, who knows/not important, but I couldn’t get back into the right head space the remainder of that week. I never made it back to class, which meant I did no form of exercise the remainder of that week and over the weekend — five whole days.

By the time this past Monday rolled around, my body was begging for exercise so I was eager to get up/out, arrived in time for class.

Power was back on and may have been back on the afternoon of the day it went out, problem solved, but I didn’t ask.

Class was good. My fitness tracker logged 3,171 steps, 759 calories burned, and I had every intention of working out this morning — a Tuesday and Thursday workout schedule.

Didn’t happen.

I putzed around.

At this point, it’s very much looking like I’ll be taking it one day at a time and that somewhere along the line, realizing I'm having fun and seeing fitness results, a reboot of my schedule — seizing the day earlier rather than later may kick in …… for at least two days a week.

For now, no promises to myself, but maybe tomorrow.

In other news, there’s been some weird stuff going on around here. Starting with, a resident reporting seeing a guy walking around peering into parked cars.

I learned a long time ago, after several thefts from vehicle in other locations, never to leave anything out in the open in the car, to tempt criminal behavior, so this sighting was no surprise to me.

The cops were called, but never showed up.

Another resident reported seeing a guy in the back area of the complex, hiding behind one of the garages.

Was he waiting to grab some unsuspecting female resident out for a walk?

One good thing about this complex is that there are eyes everywhere. Much like I am privy to a lot of what goes on just by catching a glimpse through the patio window while sitting on the couch, so are there other residents always seeing. Not a lot is missed around here.

But wait …… there’s more.

One of the more vulnerable seniors reported, while out on a walk, a strange woman approached, tried to hit her.

It’s getting more and more unsafe on the property.

On Saturday, a few residents reported seeing a strange guy dancing at the end of the walkway. Later, Lu spotted a strange guy (don’t know if it’s the same guy) crawling on all fours, up the stairs like an animal sneaking up on its prey, towards the drug dealer’s unit.

Lu called the cops and this time they showed up in groves, along with an ambulance and a fire truck.

That’s a lot of resources for a guy who was probably simply high on something. He was laughing and talking with his rescuers, so whatever his situation was didn’t translate to needing all those resources to us onlookers.

While out and about on Wednesday, I spotted something interesting as I approached the corner of a building.

No mistaking what was parked around that corner.

I always get a kick out of seeing one of those na$i cars in the neighborhood and, surprisingly, the few I’ve seen show no signs of having been damaged.

There was no one in Starbucks that looked to be the driver of that infamous vehicle, so I assumed it belonged to someone in the dental office next door.

Had I the time, I'd have stuck around to see if the driver matched the vehicle.

Best Laid Plans

I pushed myself to get up and out in time to participate in today’s early morning Tahirobics class, only to walk into darkness.

The power was off.

Odd, thought I, inasmuch as other businesses in the strip mall seemed to have lights on ……… people were going in/out of the donut shop per usual, and workers in medical garb were arriving at the medical clinic next door, walking in with things appearing to be operating as usual.

Tahirobics Instructor was on the phone, talking in Spanish, taking notes, while the owner of the nutrition store was nervously hoovering over her.

I stuck around for about 15 minutes thinking whatever the problem, it would be worked out, but then one of the ladies in the class, who’d been listening to the phone conversation, leaned over, whispered to me "no payment".

How embarrassing to have to shut down because someone forgot to, or failed to due to lack of funds, pay the power bill.

The nutrition center might be in trouble, which means Tahirobics might be in jeopardy.

Just great! thought I.

Through one of the students translating for me, the instructor and lady who runs the nutrition center apologized profusely that there would be no class because the power was off, and "This never happened before".

I believe it, though I don’t think they knew I knew why the power was off.

It ended with my saying no need to apologize, I’d come to Thursday’s class.

There is no class on Wednesday.

I’ll know on Thursday if the power situation has been resolved, that Tahirobics is going to last for a while …… or, if indeed the nutrition center is having financial difficulties, at least until next month’s power bill comes due.

Talker called this afternoon to make sure I would be attending tomorrow’s 4th of July BBQ in the Community Room.

It’s a good thing she called, as I’d forgotten the organizers had to move it up from Friday the 4th, to Wednesday the 2nd, due to the office being closed Friday.

Talker said the organizers were in the process of setting up the room, and that a spot had been reserved for me, with a "reserved" sign.

What’s that about?

I don’t eat, so the plan was, like always, go down solely to check out the event, take a few photos, head back to my unit, so hopefully this "reserved" spot doesn’t lock me into anything.

We shall see.

Stay tuned.

"Don't let the grass grow under your feet"

I took that idiom to heart and, after breaking up with Trainer on Wednesday, I took a 1-hour Tahirobics class this morning.

I know what you’re thinking and, yes, I never heard of Tahirobics either.

When, on Thursday, I walked over to the nutrition center across the street, checked to see if Zumba was still an option, I found the class was now Tahirobics, four days a week with a different teacher than the one that taught Zumba.

Described to me as "aerobics/cardio", I decided to check it out.

Class turned out to be a combination of aerobics, Zumba, Pilates, chair exercises, and man was it difficult.

I used body parts that cross-training/weight training didn’t touch and, during the entire hour, trying to perform movements, I was instructed to "suck in your stomach".

I recognize this sucking in the stomach as the Uddiyana Bandha …… an exercise to strengthen the core muscles because, back in the day, when I was doing Yoga, it was a popular exercise except, we were stationary while doing it, kneeling on the floor.

Can you imagine how difficult it was to Uddiyana Bandha while involved in fast paced exercises, but I did my best and am now walking around trying to remember to get into the practice of sucking in my stomach to correct years of letting it all hang out.

The class was small, which I liked, and it made sense the class was small because of the level of difficulty. It might also be that 9am is not ideal.

Either way, Tahirobics is not for the faint of heart.

The teacher speaks little English, I speak little Spanish but I muddled through by watching what the teacher and others were doing, quickly learned that "arriba" meant up, "abajo" meant down, "al lato" meant to the side, "al otro lado" to the other side, and had no problem modifying some of the movements so as to not hurt myself.

Along with hitting all the body parts that haven't been hit in a while, there is the option of adding arm and ankle weights for strength, but that's not something I can do right now, while sweating, struggling to breath and sucking in my stomach during fast-paced exercises.

Maybe later down the road.

Classes are 9 to 10 am, so I wasn’t thrilled at pushing myself to get up and out that early, but seeing how good for my body the class appears to be (my Fitbit logged in 4,284 steps, which is tantamount to a 5K), I’m going to adjust to seizing my days earlier at 9:00, rather than later at 11:00.

Classes are held Lunes, Martes, Jueves, Viernes which translates to Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and there is no way on God’s green earth that I can repeat what I did this morning 4 times a week.

When the teacher said I could pay by the month or by the class, I didn’t even bother to ask what the monthly rate was. By-the-class is only $10 (she's selling herself short), so that's what I’ll be doing — Tuesday and Friday (a bargain at $20 a week), until I build up, get adjusted to seizing the day at 9 a.m, and can handle 4 days a week.

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner

I didn’t work out this morning, won’t be working out Friday, I broke up with Trainer.

It was a shock when I walked into the Pain Cave on Monday, found Trainer had once again moved the warm-up station, which consists of the treadmill and strength equipment.

Long time readers will recall Trainer has a habit of doing so.

In the 5 years he’s been my personal trainer, Trainer has moved the warm-up station something like 9 or 10 times from one area of the Cave to another — different areas in the main room, then from one area to another in the back room, then back to the front room, back to the back room, so on and so forth.

Reason being, "You are the only client using the treadmill", Trainer said …… a treadmill he finds in the way of his boxing clients.

The others personal training clients do jumping jacks and squats in-between sets/reps instead of the treadmill, and though some of the boxers have also used the treadmill to run, it didn't seem to matter to Trainer that I wasn't actually the only one using.

I understood Trainer’s logic ─ I’m old, have to do things the gentle way, so though I didn’t always like where I was moved to and felt somewhat like the red-haired stepchild that doesn’t quite fit in, I adjusted.

Last year or so, I was quite content with a corner in the back room — I had privacy, Alexa was set to provide music I enjoy working out to, so all was well.

However, I should have known something was afoot when Trainer began saying things like, "You don’t need all this area".

"You are the one that put me here", said I, and that was that. Until, I came in one day and found three quarters of the back room had been fitted with pads for the fighters, which meant not only was there now no space for the floor ladder equipment and the ropes, but when there was an overflow of fighters in the front room, I’d sometimes be watching fighters spar in the same room I was being trained in.

Over the years, Trainer’s fighting side of the business has exploded. He’s made a name for himself in the world of Muay Thai boxing as this big shot trainer, with fighters who are winning high profile events. Consequently, people are coming from all over to train with him, so I adjusted and sometimes enjoyed watching the boys tussle.

But then, on Monday, I walked in and found Trainer had moved me from the back room to the front room where the bulk of his fighters are now training.

Watching two in-training while working out was one thing; watching 10 to 12 boxing, sweating, grunting is a different animal.

My workout station was relegated to a tight, cramped corner in the back of the room, by a sink and the bathroom. I had no privacy, had not the music I enjoy working out to, did not see any of the strength equipment I usually work out with and, if he’d set aside to pull out later, there was not the room for me to perform side and overhead lifts. Not to mention the odor in the room alone emanating from those hot sweaty bodies, was enough to gag.

So, there I was, the red-haired stepchild, back of the bus like Rosa Parks, squeezed into a feng shui chi less corner, feeling claustrophobic, uncomfortable, surrounded by fighters — most of whom I know, refer respectfully to me as "Miss Shirley", and Trainer devoting his time between training me and coaching them.

Mama wasn’t happy.

I did hint at my unhappiness by saying to Trainer that with all the fame and glory he's getting, he shouldn't forget those of us who were with him in the beginning; that "You have no loyalty".

He didn’t catch the hint, took it as a joke.

When I left the Pain Cave on Monday, there wasn’t that feeling of euphoria I usually get from working out. Instead, I felt a heaviness.

Yesterday, when I went down to the Community Room for crafts, I found the room full of residents. No crafts that day, instead there were waiting for some kind of luncheon to begin.

I just said a quick hello to everyone, was preparing to head back to my unit when the little Spanish lady that I’d gone to Zumba class with, stopped me. asked if I was still working out at the Pain Cave.

"I’m thinking about quitting", came out of nowhere.

I hadn’t realized I was thinking about quitting, but having heard myself say it out loud, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, tossed and turned all last night, dreading about going in to train, face that tight cramped warm-up station and other conditions this morning.

Waking up this morning, I was set on not going in today, realized that this was actually the end of the road for Trainer and I.

Trainer outlasted my other relationships but, in the end, he made the same mistake others have made ……… Got too relaxed, took me for granted.

I'm not good at breaking up. When not happy in a relationship — dentist, hairdresser, boyfriend, etc., I change my number, drop out of sight, ghost 'em, but Trainer and I had grown especially close, so I sent him a proper breakup message.

He offered to change my workout time to when no one else is in the Cave, which is what it was like before his business blew up, but I declined saying, "There's now no place for me to be moved to. It’s still the same tight cramped corner that I’m not comfortable with", so he was gracious, texted back ……

Which made me cry.

First time a breakup hurt my heart, so now I’m walking around weepy, but already considering what to do to stay fit — maybe online workout classes, so I don’t have to leave the unit or sign up for the Zumba class being offered across the street.

While I'm considering my next move, Trainer is probably having the treadmill carted out, LOL.

Trainer’s wife is going to be mad at him. She’s warned him before about moving me from pillar to post so often, and now it’s cost him the loss of an easy $240 a month, for a half hours' worth of work.

In other news ……

Not the fancy Ott lamp I prefer, but delivery was fast, on-point, and Verilux is doing the job.