MOTHER OF FUCK KILL IT.
This one is worse than yesterday's and that is saying something.
Title: ARTEMIS AND THE INCCIDENT IN AMERICA <--- caps lock, anyone?
Author: Elizabeth Ratz
Punishment for the Mary Sue?
x infinity again
there just aren't enough. this is beyond comprehension.
Name: Victoria, but there are a lot more. Excluding Butler and Artemis, everyone is someone that the author knows and is friends with, aka the "AznX Krew." They are all city-wise asshats, by the by.
Species: Human/HORRIBLE ATROCIOUS GOD-AWFUL SELF-INSERT MARY SUE.
Hair: "Short curly brown."
Eyes: "Magnificent brown eyes with brown eyeshadow eyeliner and lipgloss." You put lipgloss on eyes now? My my. I am behind on the times.
Markings/Clothing: Artemis thinks she's "a really cute girl." Right then, Arty.
Does the LEP stand a chance? I... I can't read anymore to possibly know. It hurts. A lot.
Origin: "BUFFALO NEW YORK , INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL 45." Victoria is a stereotypical city girl with her "girls" and "Eminem" guys. I hate her. Kill, KILL.
Connections To Canon: None, thank God.
Special Abilities: Being spectacularly good at guessing things wrongly. "Hey what's your name?? " asked the girl. "Artemis Fowl" he replied weakly. "Artemis? Is that Irish?" ... "Yea actually it is Irish, I just transferred from Ireland." I'm sorry, but last time I checked Artemis was a GREEK NAME.
Traits: ... I honestly can't tell. I can't pick out anything that isn't 2D about this "character." Hell, I don't think she's even 2D, but rather 1D. Can that even exist?
Final Thoughts: Mother of God, kill it. Just kill it. Fics like this shouldn't exist. The author felt like wanking and this was the result. Please, people, when you write something make it a plausible idea. Just because you want something to happen doesn't mean that it can work.
I can't form any mean and nasty words now. I just really can't.
Sample:
ARTEMIS GOES TO THE STATE [wait, I thought the title was ARTEMIS AND THE INCCIDENT IN AMERICA?]
Elizabeth Ratz: Hey what I wanted to do was Have Artemis go to the sates to my school and meet my friends. SO I hope you like it!!!!!
I HAVE to do this DISCLAIMER: **in a mono tone*** I do not own and/or affiliate with Artemis Fowl.
CHAPTER 1:
PACKING ~~~~~~~~~~~ Artemis was in a pretty bad mood. For one thing he hated the place he was going, and two he had to travel over 3,500,000 miles to his destination from Ireland to Buffalo New York. As he watched Juliet pack his clothes and Butler his mother's and his and Juliet's , he wondered. Why does he have to live in the States for a year???? In an apartment for crying aloud! Without his computer and connection to " The People". " Mother...why again do we have to go there??" His mother answered him with a stern face. " You are going to study there and meet new people." He sighed cannot argue with that. Butler brushed past him and bent down low to tell him in a low whisper, "It's alrite because I've been there too and I'll show around this time." ~~~~~~~~~~LEPRECON HEADQUARTERS- ROOT'S OFFICE~~~~~~~ "Holly!" called Root . "C'mere , I have a new assignment for you." " " What now ? Get you a cup of coffee?" " Don't be smart missy , or you'll be right back on traffic duty" Holly groaned she got enough headaches here. " What do you need???" Root's face contorted and got real serious " I need you to go the United States oF America in Buffalo New York , ( "Why ?" interupted Holly) because you need to keep an eye on Fowl. Word has it that he is movin there for a year and you know what has been going down in the states." He eyed her and Holly's eyes got real wide " Yessir" . Holly made her way down to the chutes and flashed her badge to get through and before you know it she was spitting threats to Foaly and on her way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~BUFFALO NEW YORK , INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL 45~~~~ Victoria was making her way through the hustle and bustle of the school. It was atleast 8o'clock and she hadn't eaten breakfast. She never did. She got to her locker and she felt a sharp tug at her hair. "OW!!! " She wheeled around and saw he best friend at school ....Thuong Ho. ( note it's pronounced Tong . SHe's viet) " Hey bitch" said Thuong " Hey bitch". They always played these games. Victoria's homeroom teacher walked out of the room and into the busy hall. "What's going on girls?" "nuthing Miss Mattina" "Then Thuong get back to your class." Next thing Victoria knew the biggest Eminem wannabe blonde hair and all walked in ...His name was Brandon. " Wassup Brandon?" He eyed her and said nuthin. He turned around to see his firends Carlos , Alphonso , Ramone, and David . He lef t with them and Victoria walked into her homeroom and saw all of the AznX Krew . Baggy jeans and bandanas."Hey Vic-tori - uh" said Kevin in a weird ass voice. He liked to make fun of her name for some weird ass reason. "Guess what" said Susan, "What ?" repiled Victoria. "We have a new student" "Who?!?" "Look behind you". Victoria wheeled around and saw a dark haired boy with a very pale complexion sitting all by himself. " He looks kinda cute." said Victoria "CUTE?!?!?" said lound mouthed Souna who can hear everything and is noesy . " Man I met this cuuuuuttttee pie boy named Mohamed yesterday he asked me out , and I said yea." "Mohamed Abdullah??" "NO! he's puterican". ~~~~~~~~~~~SCIENCE CLASS PICKING LAB GROUPS~~~~~~~~~~ Artemis looked around for a lab group none of them seemed good , but then he saw a really cute girl. Dr. Stevenson told him to sit in that girl's group.....it was all girls. He slumped over there and said "the teacher says I have to work with you ." The girls all said in their own way "ok , yea whatever" He eyed the girl diagonally across form him ....it was the same girl. She had short curly brown hair magnificent brown eyes with brown eyeshadow eyeliner and lipgloss. "Hey what's your name?? " asked the girl. "Artemis Fowl" he replied weakly. "Artemis? Is that Irish? by the way my name is Victoria." "Yea actually it is Irish, I just transferred from Ireland." " IRELAND????!?!" excalimed the girls. "Yea " "why did you move????? - My mom made me". "Wow .....Artemis......." said Victoria and she eyed his paper he was all done she was stil on the 8th question out of 12, " Can you help me after school?........Artemis went pale but answered "yea why not??"
Title: ARTEMIS AND THE INCCIDENT IN AMERICA <--- caps lock, anyone?
Author: Elizabeth Ratz
Punishment for the Mary Sue?
there just aren't enough. this is beyond comprehension.
Name: Victoria, but there are a lot more. Excluding Butler and Artemis, everyone is someone that the author knows and is friends with, aka the "AznX Krew." They are all city-wise asshats, by the by.
Species: Human/HORRIBLE ATROCIOUS GOD-AWFUL SELF-INSERT MARY SUE.
Hair: "Short curly brown."
Eyes: "Magnificent brown eyes with brown eyeshadow eyeliner and lipgloss." You put lipgloss on eyes now? My my. I am behind on the times.
Markings/Clothing: Artemis thinks she's "a really cute girl." Right then, Arty.
Does the LEP stand a chance? I... I can't read anymore to possibly know. It hurts. A lot.
Origin: "BUFFALO NEW YORK , INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL 45." Victoria is a stereotypical city girl with her "girls" and "Eminem" guys. I hate her. Kill, KILL.
Connections To Canon: None, thank God.
Special Abilities: Being spectacularly good at guessing things wrongly. "Hey what's your name?? " asked the girl. "Artemis Fowl" he replied weakly. "Artemis? Is that Irish?" ... "Yea actually it is Irish, I just transferred from Ireland." I'm sorry, but last time I checked Artemis was a GREEK NAME.
Traits: ... I honestly can't tell. I can't pick out anything that isn't 2D about this "character." Hell, I don't think she's even 2D, but rather 1D. Can that even exist?
Final Thoughts: Mother of God, kill it. Just kill it. Fics like this shouldn't exist. The author felt like wanking and this was the result. Please, people, when you write something make it a plausible idea. Just because you want something to happen doesn't mean that it can work.
I can't form any mean and nasty words now. I just really can't.
Sample:
ARTEMIS GOES TO THE STATE [wait, I thought the title was ARTEMIS AND THE INCCIDENT IN AMERICA?]
Elizabeth Ratz: Hey what I wanted to do was Have Artemis go to the sates to my school and meet my friends. SO I hope you like it!!!!!
I HAVE to do this DISCLAIMER: **in a mono tone*** I do not own and/or affiliate with Artemis Fowl.
CHAPTER 1:
PACKING ~~~~~~~~~~~ Artemis was in a pretty bad mood. For one thing he hated the place he was going, and two he had to travel over 3,500,000 miles to his destination from Ireland to Buffalo New York. As he watched Juliet pack his clothes and Butler his mother's and his and Juliet's , he wondered. Why does he have to live in the States for a year???? In an apartment for crying aloud! Without his computer and connection to " The People". " Mother...why again do we have to go there??" His mother answered him with a stern face. " You are going to study there and meet new people." He sighed cannot argue with that. Butler brushed past him and bent down low to tell him in a low whisper, "It's alrite because I've been there too and I'll show around this time." ~~~~~~~~~~LEPRECON HEADQUARTERS- ROOT'S OFFICE~~~~~~~ "Holly!" called Root . "C'mere , I have a new assignment for you." " " What now ? Get you a cup of coffee?" " Don't be smart missy , or you'll be right back on traffic duty" Holly groaned she got enough headaches here. " What do you need???" Root's face contorted and got real serious " I need you to go the United States oF America in Buffalo New York , ( "Why ?" interupted Holly) because you need to keep an eye on Fowl. Word has it that he is movin there for a year and you know what has been going down in the states." He eyed her and Holly's eyes got real wide " Yessir" . Holly made her way down to the chutes and flashed her badge to get through and before you know it she was spitting threats to Foaly and on her way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~BUFFALO NEW YORK , INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL 45~~~~ Victoria was making her way through the hustle and bustle of the school. It was atleast 8o'clock and she hadn't eaten breakfast. She never did. She got to her locker and she felt a sharp tug at her hair. "OW!!! " She wheeled around and saw he best friend at school ....Thuong Ho. ( note it's pronounced Tong . SHe's viet) " Hey bitch" said Thuong " Hey bitch". They always played these games. Victoria's homeroom teacher walked out of the room and into the busy hall. "What's going on girls?" "nuthing Miss Mattina" "Then Thuong get back to your class." Next thing Victoria knew the biggest Eminem wannabe blonde hair and all walked in ...His name was Brandon. " Wassup Brandon?" He eyed her and said nuthin. He turned around to see his firends Carlos , Alphonso , Ramone, and David . He lef t with them and Victoria walked into her homeroom and saw all of the AznX Krew . Baggy jeans and bandanas."Hey Vic-tori - uh" said Kevin in a weird ass voice. He liked to make fun of her name for some weird ass reason. "Guess what" said Susan, "What ?" repiled Victoria. "We have a new student" "Who?!?" "Look behind you". Victoria wheeled around and saw a dark haired boy with a very pale complexion sitting all by himself. " He looks kinda cute." said Victoria "CUTE?!?!?" said lound mouthed Souna who can hear everything and is noesy . " Man I met this cuuuuuttttee pie boy named Mohamed yesterday he asked me out , and I said yea." "Mohamed Abdullah??" "NO! he's puterican". ~~~~~~~~~~~SCIENCE CLASS PICKING LAB GROUPS~~~~~~~~~~ Artemis looked around for a lab group none of them seemed good , but then he saw a really cute girl. Dr. Stevenson told him to sit in that girl's group.....it was all girls. He slumped over there and said "the teacher says I have to work with you ." The girls all said in their own way "ok , yea whatever" He eyed the girl diagonally across form him ....it was the same girl. She had short curly brown hair magnificent brown eyes with brown eyeshadow eyeliner and lipgloss. "Hey what's your name?? " asked the girl. "Artemis Fowl" he replied weakly. "Artemis? Is that Irish? by the way my name is Victoria." "Yea actually it is Irish, I just transferred from Ireland." " IRELAND????!?!" excalimed the girls. "Yea " "why did you move????? - My mom made me". "Wow .....Artemis......." said Victoria and she eyed his paper he was all done she was stil on the 8th question out of 12, " Can you help me after school?........Artemis went pale but answered "yea why not??"
