Kill it.
This is so fucked up that it makes me want to maim, kill, and then eat the world's fangirls - all of them - with a helluva lot of ketchup.
Title:Duelers
Author: Haily-Comet She writes Hamtaro love stories. Enough said.
Summary: Later on in the story, she apologizes for offending the Chinese: Hey! Whassup? More AF writing! I got this ALSO from an anime series! I think it's a cool story! Please, just R+R and if you flame me you are a coward!! I like my characters OOC so DEAL WITH IT!!!
Punishment for the Mary Sue?
x infinity
sweet jesus, it burns.
Name: There are several, but the one that, ahem, "deserves" the most attention is "Sakura Duelist/Yamato/Cherry Blossom." Artemis mistakes her for being Chinese. Every moronic fangirl in existence knows that "Sakura" is Japanese, but the smartest boy in Ireland does not. Mm. Nonsensical nonsense.
There is also the dark-skinned Mexican "Rosio," the typically French "Francesca," and Tomo, who, with his "black hair and chocolate colored eyes," was quickly made to be Sakura's whipped bitch. Sakura is the only Sue of the story worthy enough to have a last name, apparently. Please note that I think these are what their names are. The English is so butchered in this paragraph that I don't know who is who in this garbled mess.
Species: Human/Yugi fangirl. Please, God, kill it.
Hair: Sakura has "black hair." Descriptive.
Eyes: "Full of mischief."
Possessions: The "Duel Cube," which magically creates a duel arena.
Does the LEP stand a chance? No. Sakura built her "Duel Cube" with fairy technology, so it's safe to say that she has evil mind powers that can destroy them.
Origin: As Sakura explains, "We are all foreign and live here in Ireland. We have no parents, for they were either killed, or we were abused. I was abused, unfortunately. We live in a small house and keep the house with money we get for winning the game.”
Sweet merciful God.
Connections To Canon: They know Holly and Foaly, who helped them build the "Duel Cube." Goodness me, I never knew Holly was a Yugi fan. Tell me, does Foaly whack off to Ryou?
Special Abilities: Sakura has the beautiful ability to make me hate her within three milliseconds of reading her name. She can also write Artemis mysterious fangirly emails that he actually wants to read, a great feat indeed.
Traits: Amazo-bitch, I'm guessing. But the writing quality is so poor that I can't even determine what type of personality she has.
Final Thoughts: Words fail me. This unrivaled shit leaves me unable to make any sort of witty commentary. I'm not sure what's worse, the author crossing over Artemis Fowl with Yu-Gi-Oh or the horrible unedited writing that makes me want to kill myself. "Hailey-Comet" even manages to mangle AOL's trademark "You've got mail," something that just astounds me.
I have nothing else to say. The sample can explain its own disturbing self.
Sample: Haily’s back!! Back again!! Haily’s back!! Tell a friend!! Hey, Haily here! I’m doing another Artemis Fowl fic!! But not like my last one! This one is better! Anyway let’s begin! There’s a lil’ bit of Yu-Gi-Oh! in here, but no actual characters!
Milkes: YEEEHAA!
Haily: Also, the THIRD ARTEMIS FOWL BOOK IS OUT!! HOORAY!
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, or Yu-Gi-Oh
Duel Cube
Artemis sat in a swivel chair, happy as can be. He had managed to get his C Cube back and the People were saved. Not only that, but he still had their technology.
He typed in the eternity code and scrolled through his files.
“A few documentary files, a few lecture files…hm, must post that file online…” Artemis muttered.
He logged onto the internet and checked the news. Another stock market down and the like.
“You’ve go mail,” chimed the annoying voice. Artemis clicked on his mail button and waited for it to load.
The e-mail address that popped up was foreign. It read Duelers@sakura.com.
“Never seen this before,” Artemis muttered and clicked on the address. The letter read:
Dear Mr. Fowl
I would like to meet you. I have heard of your, how you say, successes. I have something that you might like. Please e-mail me back with a response. Do not worry about coming to me, I will come to you.
Sincerely,
Sakura Duelist
Artemis thought over the possibilities. Perhaps he should tell Butler. Then again, this didn’t seem like a threat. But you never know. And how did these people know about his robberies and such?
Weighed down with possibilities, Artemis read the letter once more. It said there was something he might like.
Artemis hesitantly clicked on the “reply” button and began to type.
Dear Miss Duelist.,
I approve of your coming, though I would like to know when. Whatever it is you have for me, I am eager. I await your arrival.
-Artemis Fowl
Drumming his fingers on his desktop, Artemis thought of what this could be. And what an odd name, Sakura, it sounded Chinese. And Duelist, what a strange last name; perhaps it was a pen name.
Sakura clasped her hands together. “Showtime!” she muttered eagerly and took out small, velvet wrapped box.
“Let’s see what this ‘Artemis Fowl,’ can do, hm, Francesca?” she asked.
“Oui! Zis shall be interesting!”
Sakura chuckled; this was going to be fun.
Artemis received another e-mail from this mysterious girl. “Who are these people?” he asked himself. He had told Butler, who surprisingly, wasn’t angry.
“I’ve heard of Duelists before, but don’t get yourself into trouble! I don’t want to end up dead again!” he had said.
Artemis flinched at the thought. A wretched memory, no doubt.
Two days later May 14, 2005, there was a knock on the door.
“That must be her!” exclaimed Artemis heading over to the door with Butler.
“Good evening,” the girl in the door said. “You must be Master Fowl, hm?”
Artemis nodded stuck out his hand. He was ever so eager to see what this girl had.
The girl simply nodded and let herself in. She turned to Artemis. “I need a big, open room, okay?” she asked.
“I’ve got plenty!” Artemis replied and showed her into a large room.
“Now, what is it that you’ve got for me?”
The girl’s eyes were full of mischief. She tossed back her black hair and smiled.
“At least let me properly introduce myself. I’m Sakura Yamato.”
“As you know, I’m Artemis Fowl. Nihao. I believe that’s how they say ‘hello’ in Chinese correct. You might know?” (Is that the way to say hi in Chinese? Someone please tell me and if I offended anyone I’m SOOOO SORRY!!)
Sakura’s eyes flared. “For you information, I am not Chinese! I was born and raised for most of my childhood in Tokyo, Japan! For one so smart, you sure have a small education!”
BIG mistake! Artemis thought. He could have sworn he had read somewhere that “Sakura” was a Chinese name.
Artemis sneered. “Yes, well, I’m sorry, but let’s move on. Please show me this…thing.”
Sakura was smirking now. “I present to you, the Duel Cube!” she exclaimed with pride and whipped out a small, metallic cube.
Artemis gaped. “My C Cube! How did you get your hands on it?” he asked her furiously.
The girl looked at him innocently, but a smirk lingered on her lips. “This is not yours, but I have heard of your ‘deal’ with Jon Spiro. Not to bright. But let me give you proof that this isn’t your C Cube.”
Sakura leafed through a sheaf of papers and pulled out a piece of cream-colored paper. She handed it to Artemis and he scanned down it. He stopped at a date. On it was “Copyright 2003.”
“This is impossible! You could never-” Artemis exclaimed.
“Believe it!”
Artemis took out his own C Cube, logging onto the internet. He hacked into a small store and took out ten percent of the money. The whole procedure took less than five seconds.
“Can you do that?” he asked triumphantly.
Sakura shook her head. “No, but let me show you this.”
She stuck her hand inside the velvet box and pulled out a gold card. She placed it in the middle of the floor and whispered “board.”
Like a spider web, a blue and orange checkered board spread out all over the floor. Where Artemis and Sakura were sitting, it stopped. Sakura pulled out another Duel Cube and tossed it to Artemis (he missed it by THIS much) and also handed him a small booklet. She then held up two decks of cards.
“These are Duel Monsters. These are what you fight with. You place it on the small indent on the Duel Cube and then select where you want it to go. You have a leader, which is probably the most powerful, and once the other person destroys your leader or all your life points are gone, you lose. They can come like this,” Sakura held up a card with a cute angel on it. “To this.” She then held up a menacing looking dragon.
“Now, observe.”
Sakura placed down the angel card on her Duel Cube and pressed some buttons. She then hit “enter.”
The card began to glow and suddenly, a little, round, angel, the same as the one on the card, popped out.
Sakura handed over the other deck to Artemis. He plucked a card and placed it in the Duel Cube.
“Now, you see those arrows? They are the directions for your card. Just press the up button,” she explained.
Doing as he was told, Artemis pressed the up button. He then hit the enter button and this card began to glow as well. Out popped the menacing looking dragon.
“This is…good,” Artemis said stubbornly.
“There’s more.”
Artemis gave her his attention now.
“I have a group of friends. We are all foreign and live here in Ireland. We have no parents, for they were either killed, or we were abused. I was abused, unfortunately. We live in a small house and keep the house with money we get for winning the game.”
Glancing around the room, Artemis glared at her.
“And…”
“Come with me!”
Artemis was quite hesitant. “I must ask Butler.”
Bowing, Sakura let him out of the room. “Just the boy we were looking for!” she muttered to herself quietly and giggled. Sakura knew what he had done to the fairies. She had made this Duel Cube with some fairy technology. Artemis took the technology so for granted, Sakura had thought, that he must be taught a lesson. Again, she giggled.
Artemis Fowl was going down!
“Darn it, Francesca! You beat me again!” Tomo yelled and began to swear.
The girl, who apparently was probably Francesca Artemis guessed, was giggling.
“Stop your cussin’!” shouted Sakura, leading Artemis into the small house.
A boy with black hair and chocolate colored eyes poked his head out from another room.
“Cherry blossom! You’re back!” he exclaimed, kissing the back of her hand.
“What’s up?” asked a girl with dark skin and a Mexican accent.
“Bonjour!” said Francesca.
“Nothin’ much! This is Fowl, the boy with the fairy technology,” Sakura replied, tugging in a reluctant Artemis.
Tomo spied Artemis, standing a bit too close to his girlfriend.
“So, you’ve taught him about the Duel Monsters?” asked the Mexican girl.
“Yes, Rosio, everything is set.”
Artemis looked around the room. It was quite small with two other rooms branching off. A sofa was shoved into a corner and a few chairs spotted the room.
“So, boy, we’ve heard of you and the fairies. That’s something! We know Holly and Foaly. In fact,” Tomo said, holding up a Duel Cube “they helped up build these. Anyway, you want something to eat?”
Artemis pursed his lips. “Sure, I suppose,” he said and followed Tomo into the room on the right.
“Listen, boy,” Tomo whispered once they were in the kitchen. “you stay away from Sakura! I know you boy! You that genius boy! You stay away, got it?!”
Artemis smirked. “Yes, whatever you say,” he said and left from the kitchen without anything.
The three girls gulped. Tomo didn’t seem that happy, but what could go wrong between him and Artemis?
How did you like it? Is it good? Do you think I should make it Sakura and Artemis or not? Just R+R please!! This is one of my first AF fics! Thanks oodles!
Ciao, Haily</i>
Title:Duelers
Author: Haily-Comet She writes Hamtaro love stories. Enough said.
Summary: Later on in the story, she apologizes for offending the Chinese: Hey! Whassup? More AF writing! I got this ALSO from an anime series! I think it's a cool story! Please, just R+R and if you flame me you are a coward!! I like my characters OOC so DEAL WITH IT!!!
Punishment for the Mary Sue?
sweet jesus, it burns.
Name: There are several, but the one that, ahem, "deserves" the most attention is "Sakura Duelist/Yamato/Cherry Blossom." Artemis mistakes her for being Chinese. Every moronic fangirl in existence knows that "Sakura" is Japanese, but the smartest boy in Ireland does not. Mm. Nonsensical nonsense.
There is also the dark-skinned Mexican "Rosio," the typically French "Francesca," and Tomo, who, with his "black hair and chocolate colored eyes," was quickly made to be Sakura's whipped bitch. Sakura is the only Sue of the story worthy enough to have a last name, apparently. Please note that I think these are what their names are. The English is so butchered in this paragraph that I don't know who is who in this garbled mess.
Species: Human/Yugi fangirl. Please, God, kill it.
Hair: Sakura has "black hair." Descriptive.
Eyes: "Full of mischief."
Possessions: The "Duel Cube," which magically creates a duel arena.
Does the LEP stand a chance? No. Sakura built her "Duel Cube" with fairy technology, so it's safe to say that she has evil mind powers that can destroy them.
Origin: As Sakura explains, "We are all foreign and live here in Ireland. We have no parents, for they were either killed, or we were abused. I was abused, unfortunately. We live in a small house and keep the house with money we get for winning the game.”
Sweet merciful God.
Connections To Canon: They know Holly and Foaly, who helped them build the "Duel Cube." Goodness me, I never knew Holly was a Yugi fan. Tell me, does Foaly whack off to Ryou?
Special Abilities: Sakura has the beautiful ability to make me hate her within three milliseconds of reading her name. She can also write Artemis mysterious fangirly emails that he actually wants to read, a great feat indeed.
Traits: Amazo-bitch, I'm guessing. But the writing quality is so poor that I can't even determine what type of personality she has.
Final Thoughts: Words fail me. This unrivaled shit leaves me unable to make any sort of witty commentary. I'm not sure what's worse, the author crossing over Artemis Fowl with Yu-Gi-Oh or the horrible unedited writing that makes me want to kill myself. "Hailey-Comet" even manages to mangle AOL's trademark "You've got mail," something that just astounds me.
I have nothing else to say. The sample can explain its own disturbing self.
Sample: Haily’s back!! Back again!! Haily’s back!! Tell a friend!! Hey, Haily here! I’m doing another Artemis Fowl fic!! But not like my last one! This one is better! Anyway let’s begin! There’s a lil’ bit of Yu-Gi-Oh! in here, but no actual characters!
Milkes: YEEEHAA!
Haily: Also, the THIRD ARTEMIS FOWL BOOK IS OUT!! HOORAY!
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, or Yu-Gi-Oh
Duel Cube
Artemis sat in a swivel chair, happy as can be. He had managed to get his C Cube back and the People were saved. Not only that, but he still had their technology.
He typed in the eternity code and scrolled through his files.
“A few documentary files, a few lecture files…hm, must post that file online…” Artemis muttered.
He logged onto the internet and checked the news. Another stock market down and the like.
“You’ve go mail,” chimed the annoying voice. Artemis clicked on his mail button and waited for it to load.
The e-mail address that popped up was foreign. It read Duelers@sakura.com.
“Never seen this before,” Artemis muttered and clicked on the address. The letter read:
Dear Mr. Fowl
I would like to meet you. I have heard of your, how you say, successes. I have something that you might like. Please e-mail me back with a response. Do not worry about coming to me, I will come to you.
Sincerely,
Sakura Duelist
Artemis thought over the possibilities. Perhaps he should tell Butler. Then again, this didn’t seem like a threat. But you never know. And how did these people know about his robberies and such?
Weighed down with possibilities, Artemis read the letter once more. It said there was something he might like.
Artemis hesitantly clicked on the “reply” button and began to type.
Dear Miss Duelist.,
I approve of your coming, though I would like to know when. Whatever it is you have for me, I am eager. I await your arrival.
-Artemis Fowl
Drumming his fingers on his desktop, Artemis thought of what this could be. And what an odd name, Sakura, it sounded Chinese. And Duelist, what a strange last name; perhaps it was a pen name.
Sakura clasped her hands together. “Showtime!” she muttered eagerly and took out small, velvet wrapped box.
“Let’s see what this ‘Artemis Fowl,’ can do, hm, Francesca?” she asked.
“Oui! Zis shall be interesting!”
Sakura chuckled; this was going to be fun.
Artemis received another e-mail from this mysterious girl. “Who are these people?” he asked himself. He had told Butler, who surprisingly, wasn’t angry.
“I’ve heard of Duelists before, but don’t get yourself into trouble! I don’t want to end up dead again!” he had said.
Artemis flinched at the thought. A wretched memory, no doubt.
Two days later May 14, 2005, there was a knock on the door.
“That must be her!” exclaimed Artemis heading over to the door with Butler.
“Good evening,” the girl in the door said. “You must be Master Fowl, hm?”
Artemis nodded stuck out his hand. He was ever so eager to see what this girl had.
The girl simply nodded and let herself in. She turned to Artemis. “I need a big, open room, okay?” she asked.
“I’ve got plenty!” Artemis replied and showed her into a large room.
“Now, what is it that you’ve got for me?”
The girl’s eyes were full of mischief. She tossed back her black hair and smiled.
“At least let me properly introduce myself. I’m Sakura Yamato.”
“As you know, I’m Artemis Fowl. Nihao. I believe that’s how they say ‘hello’ in Chinese correct. You might know?” (Is that the way to say hi in Chinese? Someone please tell me and if I offended anyone I’m SOOOO SORRY!!)
Sakura’s eyes flared. “For you information, I am not Chinese! I was born and raised for most of my childhood in Tokyo, Japan! For one so smart, you sure have a small education!”
BIG mistake! Artemis thought. He could have sworn he had read somewhere that “Sakura” was a Chinese name.
Artemis sneered. “Yes, well, I’m sorry, but let’s move on. Please show me this…thing.”
Sakura was smirking now. “I present to you, the Duel Cube!” she exclaimed with pride and whipped out a small, metallic cube.
Artemis gaped. “My C Cube! How did you get your hands on it?” he asked her furiously.
The girl looked at him innocently, but a smirk lingered on her lips. “This is not yours, but I have heard of your ‘deal’ with Jon Spiro. Not to bright. But let me give you proof that this isn’t your C Cube.”
Sakura leafed through a sheaf of papers and pulled out a piece of cream-colored paper. She handed it to Artemis and he scanned down it. He stopped at a date. On it was “Copyright 2003.”
“This is impossible! You could never-” Artemis exclaimed.
“Believe it!”
Artemis took out his own C Cube, logging onto the internet. He hacked into a small store and took out ten percent of the money. The whole procedure took less than five seconds.
“Can you do that?” he asked triumphantly.
Sakura shook her head. “No, but let me show you this.”
She stuck her hand inside the velvet box and pulled out a gold card. She placed it in the middle of the floor and whispered “board.”
Like a spider web, a blue and orange checkered board spread out all over the floor. Where Artemis and Sakura were sitting, it stopped. Sakura pulled out another Duel Cube and tossed it to Artemis (he missed it by THIS much) and also handed him a small booklet. She then held up two decks of cards.
“These are Duel Monsters. These are what you fight with. You place it on the small indent on the Duel Cube and then select where you want it to go. You have a leader, which is probably the most powerful, and once the other person destroys your leader or all your life points are gone, you lose. They can come like this,” Sakura held up a card with a cute angel on it. “To this.” She then held up a menacing looking dragon.
“Now, observe.”
Sakura placed down the angel card on her Duel Cube and pressed some buttons. She then hit “enter.”
The card began to glow and suddenly, a little, round, angel, the same as the one on the card, popped out.
Sakura handed over the other deck to Artemis. He plucked a card and placed it in the Duel Cube.
“Now, you see those arrows? They are the directions for your card. Just press the up button,” she explained.
Doing as he was told, Artemis pressed the up button. He then hit the enter button and this card began to glow as well. Out popped the menacing looking dragon.
“This is…good,” Artemis said stubbornly.
“There’s more.”
Artemis gave her his attention now.
“I have a group of friends. We are all foreign and live here in Ireland. We have no parents, for they were either killed, or we were abused. I was abused, unfortunately. We live in a small house and keep the house with money we get for winning the game.”
Glancing around the room, Artemis glared at her.
“And…”
“Come with me!”
Artemis was quite hesitant. “I must ask Butler.”
Bowing, Sakura let him out of the room. “Just the boy we were looking for!” she muttered to herself quietly and giggled. Sakura knew what he had done to the fairies. She had made this Duel Cube with some fairy technology. Artemis took the technology so for granted, Sakura had thought, that he must be taught a lesson. Again, she giggled.
Artemis Fowl was going down!
“Darn it, Francesca! You beat me again!” Tomo yelled and began to swear.
The girl, who apparently was probably Francesca Artemis guessed, was giggling.
“Stop your cussin’!” shouted Sakura, leading Artemis into the small house.
A boy with black hair and chocolate colored eyes poked his head out from another room.
“Cherry blossom! You’re back!” he exclaimed, kissing the back of her hand.
“What’s up?” asked a girl with dark skin and a Mexican accent.
“Bonjour!” said Francesca.
“Nothin’ much! This is Fowl, the boy with the fairy technology,” Sakura replied, tugging in a reluctant Artemis.
Tomo spied Artemis, standing a bit too close to his girlfriend.
“So, you’ve taught him about the Duel Monsters?” asked the Mexican girl.
“Yes, Rosio, everything is set.”
Artemis looked around the room. It was quite small with two other rooms branching off. A sofa was shoved into a corner and a few chairs spotted the room.
“So, boy, we’ve heard of you and the fairies. That’s something! We know Holly and Foaly. In fact,” Tomo said, holding up a Duel Cube “they helped up build these. Anyway, you want something to eat?”
Artemis pursed his lips. “Sure, I suppose,” he said and followed Tomo into the room on the right.
“Listen, boy,” Tomo whispered once they were in the kitchen. “you stay away from Sakura! I know you boy! You that genius boy! You stay away, got it?!”
Artemis smirked. “Yes, whatever you say,” he said and left from the kitchen without anything.
The three girls gulped. Tomo didn’t seem that happy, but what could go wrong between him and Artemis?
How did you like it? Is it good? Do you think I should make it Sakura and Artemis or not? Just R+R please!! This is one of my first AF fics! Thanks oodles!
Ciao, Haily</i>
