At Hand

photo courtesy of whatsinthebible.com

I don’t know how many times I have read, said, or quoted Philippians 4:6.  “Do not be anxious about *anything*, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”   So what does that mean?  Well, very basically, it tells us to not worry, to pray, implore, plead, about everything with thanksgiving.

The other day I was reading this in the ESV of the Bible.  The end of verse 5 hit me like a sledge hammer.  I have always focused on verse six.  In the NIV, verse six starts with a capital letter.  Why is that important?

Well, in the ESV, the second part of verse five says, “The Lord is at hand;”…  Do you notice the semicolon?  Oh, how I love the semicolon! It is defined as:

“a punctuation mark (;) indicating a pause, typically between two main clauses, that is more pronounced than that indicated by a comma.”

The semicolon is a powerful little punctuation mark.  It means that the author could have chosen to end the sentence, but chose to continue.   It connects two main ideas. Why is that important in this context?  Because BOTH sides of the semicolon are equally important!  My friends, the Lord is at hand!

The term “at hand” means, “Nearby; physically within one's reach.”  ( Yes, I know my “word nerd” is showing; please bear with me.) Think about what that means in the context of this passage!  God is physically nearby; do not be anxious about anything!  Pray about everything, and be thankful. 

The Amplified Bible says it this way: “The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God.”

The Lord is near.  He is right. next. to. you.  I used to think, how can I seriously pray about everything WITH thanksgiving??  “Thank you, God, for this disease.  I am so thankful for Myasthenia Gravis!”  But do you know what?  I AM thankful.  I honestly wouldn’t change anything.

 

When you start doing things the Lord’s way, your life will change…for the better.  Not even for the better!  For the best!  God wants YOU to have your BEST life.  And there’s only one way to do that. (Sorry, Oprah.)  That is through the cleansing, powerful blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

My dear brothers and sisters…I know this life is not easy.  But God is at hand!  He is with you always!  We do NOT need to worry.  I know this is tough stuff.  I’ve been at it 47 years and still forget.  God has your best in mind.  Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans for us!  Plans for good, and not for harm.  So how can having an incurable disease be for my good?  I mean, seriously?

I’ll tell you.  This disease changed the course of my life.  Before MG, I was a career woman.  I had a great albeit stressful job, made incredible money for a 28 year old kid, and worked really hard.  I played hard too.  I was NOT living my best life.  Not by a longshot.  Along comes MG, and suddenly I’m 100% dependent upon the Lord for everything.  Every hour.  Every minute.  Every second.  Every breath.

When you truly don’t know if you’re going to live or die, your perspective changes greatly.  Suddenly I wasn’t so worried about how much money I made.  I was more concerned about the side effects of the medication I was taking.  I wasn’t so much worried about keeping my house spotless, I was more concerned about keeping my trach super clean so I didn’t get an infection that would kill me.

I’m telling you from 20 years with this disease:  God IS near.  He IS the only way to peace.  Verse 7 of Philippians 4: “ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Isn’t that what we all want? Peace?  Peace that we can’t even understand.  So don’t worry.  Pray about everything.  Be thankful.

Because God is at hand.

Not Your Typical Post

I always feel like I have to write a disclaimer when I do a post like this.  But then I think, this is my blog, this is who I am, and those of you who know me know I don't do well censoring myself.  The ONLY thing I want to convey is that from the bottom of my heart this is not about guilt.

I'm probably going to take it to church a bit today, but I'm preaching to myself as well.  So if you don't want to deal with anything but happy, "I'm so thankful"-ness, just stop reading now.

First of all, it kind of annoys me that we take once a year to be thankful for ALL of the things we have been blessed with.  And I am just as responsible for allowing this in MY life.  I am thankful all year around, and I need to express it more.  How about you?

Secondly, this day, for some, holds no thankfulness.  It is just another day...of struggling financially, of missing that loved one who couldn't come home for the holidays...  Another day in the wheelchair. Another day of being a single parent with too many bills, not enough money, and not enough time to raise his or her children the way they really want to.

For some, it is a painful reminder of the past.  Grief.  Remembering that your precious sister, mother, daughter, son, niece, nephew, grandparent, parent, brother, child....is no longer with you.  I know so many for whom this will be the first of many firsts "without".

The first Thanksgiving without their child.  Without their sister.  Without their nephew.  Without their best friend.  Without their husband.

I just want us to be truly mindful of all that we have been blessed with, and to remember whilst eating turkey and stuffing and laughing and cajoling with those we love that there are MANY who aren't laughing.  There are many who are not eating.

There are many who mourn.

There are some who are resentful today.  Some who struggle with anger, justified or not.  I am loathe to admit I am one of those.  To me, the DAY doesn't matter as much as my attitude.  I should be thankful every day for all the amazing things and people my God has blessed me with.  Like my husband.  And my precious little boy.  And Doug's steady, wonderful job.  And my dad being cancer-free.  And my mom, faithful and steadfast to God and her family her whole. entire. life.

But I find myself angry and resentful at what once was and what should still be be, but isn't, and may never be again.

If there is one thing to know about me, it is that I try to be as honest as humanly possible.  Never in a hurtful way.  Never.  I just can't post sunshine and roses on command when my heart is full of crap it shouldn't be.   I can CHOOSE to be thankful, which I am.  I am CHOOSING to try with everything in me to rejoice and be glad and relish in the moment.  I will put a smile on my face for my loved ones around me, and pray that God will soothe the wounds inside me.

But part of me just can't.  Part of me has my own issues that are bigger than me, and part of me is just heartbroken for those I know and love who are hurting.

So please be mindful of those today who aren't exactly in the "I'm so thankful" mood.  Truly, we ALL have much to be thankful for.  But just because the calendar says we need to wear it on our sleeve TODAY, doesn't mean all of us can.

Sick...AGAIN

UG. So sick of this. Jacob got a runny nose Sunday, the day we were supposed to go to my sister's house and celebrate Thank-mas or Christ-giving, whatever you want to call it. My parents left for Flordida yesterday and aren't coming back til who knows then, so we celebrated Christmas and Thanksgiving together with my family in one day.

So I called Lori to tell her Jacob has a runny nose, and she said don't worry about it, come on over. So we did. Now Doug and I are both sick. I hope everyone else stays okay.

I was JUST starting to feel a little better and able to do some things, and now I'm sick again. I think I need to pull jacob out of daycare. I don't want to, because it's his socialization, and MY break. But I don't see a choice. I'm sick of being sick. On TOP of all the other BS I have to deal with. Happy happy joy joy.

What a Whirlwind!

My GOODNESS! The last four days have been INSANE. Thursday, Thanksgiving, was spent at my parent's house, with my family, and then we dropped Jacob off at Doug's parents for an overnight. Doug and I plugged in our ginormous TV, sat on the couch (actually NEXT TO each other!) and watched a movie. It was awesome. Then Friday morning we got up (as Joanna would say) at the butt-crack of dawn (hehehhe) and went shopping all day. Back to Wayland to pick Jacob up. Unpacked. Oy. Then Doug started messing with the pantry shelves. I should seriously take pictures...(Ashley, it's like a MONK pantry now!!!!)

Saturday, we finished the pantry. I mean, we took every. single. item. out and cleaned, put it back (or on my other gigantic shelf in the kitchen where I put all my baking items, candy making items, tea, coffee, and hot cocoa (for Doug). Everything is all lined up...all the labels the same way...it's a sheer work of art. Brings a tear to my eye. Anyone with even slight OCD is welling up with pride. The ONLY way it cold be better if it would be alphabetized...However, taking out a million cans and boxes and putting them all back in (90% by myself because Doug was hacking up the entertainment center to reinvent it to fit the new TV). Again, McGuyver pulled out a miracle. I can't even describe it. Have to do pics again.

THEN, Sunday morning we were cleaning frantically because the house was completely trashed from the activity of the previous 3 days. Doug's parents came over for Thanksgiving yesterday, and we had our one turkey who survived to be butchered. I know, oxymoron. It was too big to fit in the roaster (22.5 pounds!) so he had to put it in a foil pan with a ton of foil over it. Hilarious. That thing could have fed a village. We'll be having turkey for a looooooong time. If you have any good leftover turkey recipes, let me know!

Today I'm exhausted! I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit my a Mack truck. It's getting a little better, but I'm taking it EASY today...and having pizza tonight with great friends that we haven't seen in forever!

Hope everyone has a great Monday!

OH----thank you to my Symlin, I have lost 10.5 pounds! Even over Thanksgiving and surviving making about 20 dozen Christmas cookies! Woot! Woot!!

Giving Thanks

Oh, we truly have so much to be thankful for. Even in the worst of times, we can find gratitude. Think of Corrie ten Boom. Joni Erickson Tada. Do you think they had reasons to be ungrateful? I sure do. But they aren't. They bless God. And they share with others His love and grace.

Joni has become a true inspiration to be since I have been ill. I've known her story, and was always amazed at her fortitude, but since being diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, spending so much time in the hospital, the physical, mental and emotional challenges that it brought forth.... I have really looked at her and thought: "This woman has to wait in bed in the morning for someone to come and get her up. To help her with the bathroom stuff and bathe her and dress her. What the HECK are you complaining about?" So I'm going to list some things for which I am thankful...and I would LOVE for you to leave a comment telling me one thing YOU are thankful for. What has blessed you this year??

1. I am thankful to my Almighty God, Who Was, and Is, and Is To Come.

2. I am thankful that the God who created the Universe and stopped the Red Sea, who parted the Jordan River during flood stage...that He is HUGE enough for all that, yet still chooses to live in my heart.

3. I'm thankful for my family....for my wonderful, amazing husband who is such a good provider for our family. You are my very best friend, and I love you forever! You are such a hard worker, a dedicated husband, and awesome Daddy. Jacob has been so excited to share in some of Daddy's deer hunting adventures! And for Jacob, my precious gift. I never knew such love and joy until I saw that little face...big ol cheeks and black curly hair (I know, you'd never know it now!) Mommy is so proud that you are MINE!!!

4. I am thankful for good friends who are so willing to help me when I'm having a bad time. Kathy, my cleaning angel....Shawn, for setting everything up, for helping me with Jacob...Candy for putting in more than her "scheduled" time...Leigh and so many others who pray for me...and for Joanna, my dear, dear friend, who has become like a sister to me. I cherish our Bible study and the other times that we get together. You bless me. Thank you for being there 24/7 no matter what. I lurv ya!

5. I am thankful that I have a disease that is not degenerative or terminal. There is no cure, and there certainly ups and downs, but there are far worse diseases out there.

6. I am thankful for this computer, for this blog, which has allowed me to meet some amazing, godly friends. You make me laugh, you make me cry...some of you make me spit out my coffee or pee my pants, but you're still awesome.

7. I'm ever thankful that I can see and hear. I can walk, I can talk (most of the time)... : )

8. I am so so so thankful that my husband has a good, steady, stable job. And that we have insurance. It may not be perfect, but it's soooo much better than many have right now. I am so thankful for all God provides in that area!

9. I am thankful for my parents and siblings. No matter what happens, we are family, and we will always be there for each other. I am thankful that my brother Mike FINALLY got into his house in California! Apparently, if you ever hear the words "short sale" in real estate, even if it's an unbelievable deal, cover your ears and run far away as fast as you can.

10. I'm thankful for my home, for heat in the winter and cool in the summer. I'm thankful for the food in our pantry and the clothes in our closets. AND I'M THANKFUL FOR MY NEW MED SYMLIN!!!!

God Bless you all this Thanksgiving....please leave a comment and share what YOU are thankful for!