So, not very long ago, I was sitting at the table in my dining room...a table which, I might add, got brought to the house in my former pick-up truck. Said table sits right next to shelves crammed full of my books--shelves which are topped by a collection of steampunk guns, which are 90% mine. All that is not to digress from the subject, it is to illustrate that I am not a typical 'girly girl' (although I do, however, have clothes, shoes, and other such accoutrements of femininity.)
Throughout the course of the conversation at the table, the subject of literature came up, and then the subject of Mark Twain came up. I opined that I'd enjoyed many of Clemens' works, particularly Connecticut Yankee, but I really had never enjoyed Huckleberry Finn, primarily because of the use of vernacular.
Our dinner guest blurted, "Well, it's a boy's book."
I said, "Uh, no, that really doesn't have anything to do with it...I didn't enjoy it because of the use of vernacular, and let us not forget the rampant racism."
The dinner guest said again, "Well, it's a boy's book," as if that was supposed to close the subject. To make matters worse, a member of our household looked at me and said, "Yeah, it's a boy's book."
Was I wrong to feel just a teensy bit patronized by this conversation? I mean, I've read plenty of "boy's books" prior to this (and I actually did enjoy Tom Sawyer, set in the same time period with the same pervasive issues of voice and cultural milieu).
The worst part about it is that I was unable to come up with any snappy rejoinders. I do know one thing--I will not be discussing literature with these two particular folks ever again...and it is their loss.
ETA: I should note that I have written both short stories and sections of novels from the male viewpoint. I've had these read by actual "boys" and none have found any glaring errors (for example, none of my male characters feel the need to ravenously devour chocolate and get annoyed at stuff once a month...)
Throughout the course of the conversation at the table, the subject of literature came up, and then the subject of Mark Twain came up. I opined that I'd enjoyed many of Clemens' works, particularly Connecticut Yankee, but I really had never enjoyed Huckleberry Finn, primarily because of the use of vernacular.
Our dinner guest blurted, "Well, it's a boy's book."
I said, "Uh, no, that really doesn't have anything to do with it...I didn't enjoy it because of the use of vernacular, and let us not forget the rampant racism."
The dinner guest said again, "Well, it's a boy's book," as if that was supposed to close the subject. To make matters worse, a member of our household looked at me and said, "Yeah, it's a boy's book."
Was I wrong to feel just a teensy bit patronized by this conversation? I mean, I've read plenty of "boy's books" prior to this (and I actually did enjoy Tom Sawyer, set in the same time period with the same pervasive issues of voice and cultural milieu).
The worst part about it is that I was unable to come up with any snappy rejoinders. I do know one thing--I will not be discussing literature with these two particular folks ever again...and it is their loss.
ETA: I should note that I have written both short stories and sections of novels from the male viewpoint. I've had these read by actual "boys" and none have found any glaring errors (for example, none of my male characters feel the need to ravenously devour chocolate and get annoyed at stuff once a month...)
....specifically, one that:
1. Does not involve filing Family and Medical Leave Act paperwork. (Been there, done that, twice this year.)
2. As a corollary to item #1, does not involve me being out of work for some involuntary reason.
3. Is not to any sort of science fiction convention, whether it is one that I personally run, administer, or at which I run a promotional table. (Been there, done that, innumerable times over the past twenty-plus years. I also have three of these trips already scheduled in the months of Dec, Jan, and--of course--Feb)
4. (similar, but slightly different to #3) Is not to a reenactment, costume-heavy event, or anything that requires me bringing a hat box, steampunked guns, or pirate or Rennie gear and playing Tetris in the back of the car. This includes pagan festivals, tattoo conventions, burns, large outdoor concerts, etc. (Been there, done that, see item #2)
5. Is somewhere out of the Atlanta metro area, but is not to the Asheville, NC, Washington, DC, Dallas, TX, or Phoenix, AZ metro areas, or to the Quad Cities of Northern Alabama, because those are family-oriented trips. (Not that I don't want to see family, and they are all awesome, but those trips are not specifically vacations...and I have been there, done that. The last two family trips I have taken have involved a funeral and the end of fifteen years of drama. Neither of those things are restful.)
6. Does not involve ANY sort of agenda, tour guide, schedule, or anything along the lines of "If this is Tuesday, this must be Belgium." If I don't see the (fill-in-the-blank museum, event, etc.) I will either see it again or I won't. I do not subscribe to the 'event of a lifetime' mentality, because my life has been rich in such things, anyway. (Which is fantastic. I just want some rest.)
I'm trying to figure out exactly what a trip like this would involve. I'm not sure if I actually know!
1. Does not involve filing Family and Medical Leave Act paperwork. (Been there, done that, twice this year.)
2. As a corollary to item #1, does not involve me being out of work for some involuntary reason.
3. Is not to any sort of science fiction convention, whether it is one that I personally run, administer, or at which I run a promotional table. (Been there, done that, innumerable times over the past twenty-plus years. I also have three of these trips already scheduled in the months of Dec, Jan, and--of course--Feb)
4. (similar, but slightly different to #3) Is not to a reenactment, costume-heavy event, or anything that requires me bringing a hat box, steampunked guns, or pirate or Rennie gear and playing Tetris in the back of the car. This includes pagan festivals, tattoo conventions, burns, large outdoor concerts, etc. (Been there, done that, see item #2)
5. Is somewhere out of the Atlanta metro area, but is not to the Asheville, NC, Washington, DC, Dallas, TX, or Phoenix, AZ metro areas, or to the Quad Cities of Northern Alabama, because those are family-oriented trips. (Not that I don't want to see family, and they are all awesome, but those trips are not specifically vacations...and I have been there, done that. The last two family trips I have taken have involved a funeral and the end of fifteen years of drama. Neither of those things are restful.)
6. Does not involve ANY sort of agenda, tour guide, schedule, or anything along the lines of "If this is Tuesday, this must be Belgium." If I don't see the (fill-in-the-blank museum, event, etc.) I will either see it again or I won't. I do not subscribe to the 'event of a lifetime' mentality, because my life has been rich in such things, anyway. (Which is fantastic. I just want some rest.)
I'm trying to figure out exactly what a trip like this would involve. I'm not sure if I actually know!
If you are passive-aggressive, I don't respond well to you.
If you don't like that term, let me spell it out.
Constant rude haranguing, playing the martyr, whining about how awful your life is and that nobody cares, etc....and then when someone attempts to help you, but also kindly suggests that lashing out is maybe not the best form of behavior....and then you lash out against them in turn? That would be what I am talking about.
Negativity begets negativity. Stop it now.
EDIT: For teh record, I really do not like having to say goodbye to a friend. It happened, well, quite embarrassingly often when I was younger, and not so much in recent years. I am pretty forgiving and very patient. Possibly TOO patient!
But when someone is horrible and rude and it all seems to be coming from a place of jealousy and hatred....I just don't see why I should have to put up with constant streams of negativity. And yeah, if you are rude, and if you are being a b$$ch, yes, I will call you on that. And no, I don't see why *I* should have to apologize when you're the one who was being rude. Especially when I kept asking you politely to not be rude.
Anyway. I'm done.
If you don't like that term, let me spell it out.
Constant rude haranguing, playing the martyr, whining about how awful your life is and that nobody cares, etc....and then when someone attempts to help you, but also kindly suggests that lashing out is maybe not the best form of behavior....and then you lash out against them in turn? That would be what I am talking about.
Negativity begets negativity. Stop it now.
EDIT: For teh record, I really do not like having to say goodbye to a friend. It happened, well, quite embarrassingly often when I was younger, and not so much in recent years. I am pretty forgiving and very patient. Possibly TOO patient!
But when someone is horrible and rude and it all seems to be coming from a place of jealousy and hatred....I just don't see why I should have to put up with constant streams of negativity. And yeah, if you are rude, and if you are being a b$$ch, yes, I will call you on that. And no, I don't see why *I* should have to apologize when you're the one who was being rude. Especially when I kept asking you politely to not be rude.
Anyway. I'm done.
I have politely told you several times how one applies to be a guest at our show. We have a guest application, which you must fill out. Even if someone "invites" you, you do not magically become a guest until you fill out this form, so that we know what you're looking for in the way of compensation.
We most certainly don't give away fan tables or dealer's tables, either, nor do we give "the best" tables out to any random schmuck who asks for them.
Furthermore, you are not all that and a bag of chips. I have met many creative, intelligent, artistic and talented folks over the course of my lifetime. Whatever competence you may have is overrun by your boorish and offensive personality.
Lastly, bullying me at my convention promotional table while I'm the only one sitting there is not incentive to "invite" you to do anything. I DO have my sh*t together, and so does our convention. That would be why we created the aforementioned guest application, so that we could avoid confusion. (You know, such as when I questioned you on who, specifically, had "invited" you to our convention without asking for any kind of documentation, and you mentioned a person who no longer works for us, and then my husband. By the way? My husband said he didn't invite you. Guess who I believe?)
You, in my experience, do not have anything together, and you've been trying to get into our convention for free since Day 1, with very little reciprocity, I might add.
I hope that I never have to deal with you ever again. As I've heard many times since I moved down here, "Bless your heart."
We most certainly don't give away fan tables or dealer's tables, either, nor do we give "the best" tables out to any random schmuck who asks for them.
Furthermore, you are not all that and a bag of chips. I have met many creative, intelligent, artistic and talented folks over the course of my lifetime. Whatever competence you may have is overrun by your boorish and offensive personality.
Lastly, bullying me at my convention promotional table while I'm the only one sitting there is not incentive to "invite" you to do anything. I DO have my sh*t together, and so does our convention. That would be why we created the aforementioned guest application, so that we could avoid confusion. (You know, such as when I questioned you on who, specifically, had "invited" you to our convention without asking for any kind of documentation, and you mentioned a person who no longer works for us, and then my husband. By the way? My husband said he didn't invite you. Guess who I believe?)
You, in my experience, do not have anything together, and you've been trying to get into our convention for free since Day 1, with very little reciprocity, I might add.
I hope that I never have to deal with you ever again. As I've heard many times since I moved down here, "Bless your heart."
...I seriously hope that this situation is not quite as catastrophic as you are making it out to be. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's not...but the economy can drive folks to extremes, I know. I hope it all works out for you.
Many years ago, in the pre-Internet days, friends of mine and I would play a conversational game entitled "Stake Your Claim to Celebrity Fame," in which we'd tell anecdotes about various folks we'd met. The object was to (although we did not know it as such) reduce our Bacon quotient :)
As prior to the late 80s I was 1) shy and 2) a fairly obnoxious punk-rock type, I used to consistently (and occasionally proudly) lose this game, because up to that point, I think maybe my dad had met a few B-List types at the Touchdown Club dinners and gotten their autographs. And, of course, we were in the greater DC Metropolitan area, so political 'celebrities' were around every corner (and sometimes lived down the street).
However, this all changed when I took a high-profile job at a store in the hippest and trendiest part of DC. I had the right haircut, dropped 30 pounds (and mind you, I was not overly large prior to this), and was always impeccably dressed in the closest that I could afford to 'haute couture', and the next thing you know, nobody wanted to play the Celebrity Fame game with me again. It got completely absurd.
After that, my tolerance for name-dropping was low. It has remained low. And it's been a long time since someone tried to play celebrity one-upmanship with me. However, in the service of being obnoxious, someone tried the other day. I attempted to muster a suitable retort, but my Dorothy Parkeresque rapier wit was not with me, and the moment passed.
I finally gave up, because, in the end, it's just as much of a game as it was to my friends and I back in the suburbs in the 80s...except that I no longer care if I win.
As prior to the late 80s I was 1) shy and 2) a fairly obnoxious punk-rock type, I used to consistently (and occasionally proudly) lose this game, because up to that point, I think maybe my dad had met a few B-List types at the Touchdown Club dinners and gotten their autographs. And, of course, we were in the greater DC Metropolitan area, so political 'celebrities' were around every corner (and sometimes lived down the street).
However, this all changed when I took a high-profile job at a store in the hippest and trendiest part of DC. I had the right haircut, dropped 30 pounds (and mind you, I was not overly large prior to this), and was always impeccably dressed in the closest that I could afford to 'haute couture', and the next thing you know, nobody wanted to play the Celebrity Fame game with me again. It got completely absurd.
After that, my tolerance for name-dropping was low. It has remained low. And it's been a long time since someone tried to play celebrity one-upmanship with me. However, in the service of being obnoxious, someone tried the other day. I attempted to muster a suitable retort, but my Dorothy Parkeresque rapier wit was not with me, and the moment passed.
I finally gave up, because, in the end, it's just as much of a game as it was to my friends and I back in the suburbs in the 80s...except that I no longer care if I win.
It has come to my attention that the following needs to be said. I find it very distressing when folks feel the need to spread falsehoods, but there are a lot of people out there who apparently are not happy with their own lives and want everyone else to be miserable.
Here's the short version for those who don't want to read the tl/dr background stuff below:
1. I was the Track Director of the Alt History Track, and I didn't get fired, I RESIGNED. Also resigning along with me was William, my second-in-command. He remains on the rolls of available Dragon*Con staff, as do I. I believe he's up for a 10-year award this year.
2. The only complaints I ever received at the Track concerned our website and our possible use of a non-Dragon-approved band. (That last part was pretty sucky.)
3. There was NO prevailing political opinion at the Track, and my own political opinion is no one's business. William's is similarly his own.
4. My/William's choice to not attend Con this year? It's expensive, I'm tired of going, and I think skipping a year might 'make the heart grow fonder'. If anyone wonders why, that would be why. (I am pretty sure I'll miss it!)
5. Any sick, sad, sorry little person who thinks that insults and name-calling are acceptable needs to get the hell out of my life, starting right now. I don't like bullying and I'm tired of 'bad energy' folks. IMHO, there are a few out there who need to examine the tenets of their stated religions and start abiding by them.
BACKGROUND:
The Alternate History Track idea was originally hashed out by a group of friends, William, and myself back in 07-08. This was mostly at the Marietta Diner. We wanted a place where we could go and enjoy panels that weren't normally offered at the Con. Although I love many SF media franchises and gaming, there didn't seem to be one single place that appealed to me, and I thought others might feel that way.
When the offer was made to host the track at the Con (in early 09), plans had already been made to start what eventually became AnachroCon. William and I literally flipped a coin to decide who'd be in charge of what. I took the Track.
I was the Track Director from 09 to 11. William was my second-in-command. During that time I believe we made many fans happy, but one cannot please everyone.
Most of the folks that were Track staff were great and awesome and went above and beyond the call of duty. However, there was one staffing choice that was always controversial and became increasingly controversial as time went on. This same person went out of her way to not spend as much time at the Track as possible or fulfill her hourly duties. I have eventually come to believe that she was using her Dragon*Con position in order to advance her own personal PR causes.
I received numerous complaints about this person. Since I would like to believe the best in folks, no matter what, I listened to her side of the story and told everyone that steampunk (which had become one of the major foci of the Track) was not created by one person and I felt it necessary to present all sides of the community. I also angered this person, because she didn't agree with many of the choices I made, but, in the end, I was the one in charge.
There was a tremendous amount of drama, both personal and in the steampunk community, that occurred during this time. I did my best to keep the Track a neutral, drama-free zone, and most folks abided by this. (William did his best over at AnachroCon, as it grew during these years).
I discovered that, as a business and an entity such as the Track grows, there apparently are always folks who either think they can run it better, or are jealous of success. Maybe both. The Track and AnachroCon took a number of hits from folks like this over the years, and I suspect that there will be many such attacks in the future.
Recently, while talking with Doctor Q, who I (along with William) chose to take the Directorship (and there was drama with that too, but it got better), he told me that his personal philosophy was to ignore the negative types and serve as an example of Teh Good. (That's paraphrased, but I think it's close.) When he said this, he validated my choice, and I know the Track's going to be great in the future.
I also knew that when I (and William, and the one staff member who said she'd leave when we did) stepped down, that Q would likely make a clean sweep of track staff. There were four folks left. Three of them were great and awesome and at least one is doing panels at the Track this year, AFAIK. That leaves one, the problem child.
At least one of the main reasons for me leaving Dragon*Con was to get this problem child out of her perceived position of power. I have not told many folks this, but now y'all know. I don't expect thanks, but I do expect a better steampunk community as a result.
Here's the short version for those who don't want to read the tl/dr background stuff below:
1. I was the Track Director of the Alt History Track, and I didn't get fired, I RESIGNED. Also resigning along with me was William, my second-in-command. He remains on the rolls of available Dragon*Con staff, as do I. I believe he's up for a 10-year award this year.
2. The only complaints I ever received at the Track concerned our website and our possible use of a non-Dragon-approved band. (That last part was pretty sucky.)
3. There was NO prevailing political opinion at the Track, and my own political opinion is no one's business. William's is similarly his own.
4. My/William's choice to not attend Con this year? It's expensive, I'm tired of going, and I think skipping a year might 'make the heart grow fonder'. If anyone wonders why, that would be why. (I am pretty sure I'll miss it!)
5. Any sick, sad, sorry little person who thinks that insults and name-calling are acceptable needs to get the hell out of my life, starting right now. I don't like bullying and I'm tired of 'bad energy' folks. IMHO, there are a few out there who need to examine the tenets of their stated religions and start abiding by them.
BACKGROUND:
The Alternate History Track idea was originally hashed out by a group of friends, William, and myself back in 07-08. This was mostly at the Marietta Diner. We wanted a place where we could go and enjoy panels that weren't normally offered at the Con. Although I love many SF media franchises and gaming, there didn't seem to be one single place that appealed to me, and I thought others might feel that way.
When the offer was made to host the track at the Con (in early 09), plans had already been made to start what eventually became AnachroCon. William and I literally flipped a coin to decide who'd be in charge of what. I took the Track.
I was the Track Director from 09 to 11. William was my second-in-command. During that time I believe we made many fans happy, but one cannot please everyone.
Most of the folks that were Track staff were great and awesome and went above and beyond the call of duty. However, there was one staffing choice that was always controversial and became increasingly controversial as time went on. This same person went out of her way to not spend as much time at the Track as possible or fulfill her hourly duties. I have eventually come to believe that she was using her Dragon*Con position in order to advance her own personal PR causes.
I received numerous complaints about this person. Since I would like to believe the best in folks, no matter what, I listened to her side of the story and told everyone that steampunk (which had become one of the major foci of the Track) was not created by one person and I felt it necessary to present all sides of the community. I also angered this person, because she didn't agree with many of the choices I made, but, in the end, I was the one in charge.
There was a tremendous amount of drama, both personal and in the steampunk community, that occurred during this time. I did my best to keep the Track a neutral, drama-free zone, and most folks abided by this. (William did his best over at AnachroCon, as it grew during these years).
I discovered that, as a business and an entity such as the Track grows, there apparently are always folks who either think they can run it better, or are jealous of success. Maybe both. The Track and AnachroCon took a number of hits from folks like this over the years, and I suspect that there will be many such attacks in the future.
Recently, while talking with Doctor Q, who I (along with William) chose to take the Directorship (and there was drama with that too, but it got better), he told me that his personal philosophy was to ignore the negative types and serve as an example of Teh Good. (That's paraphrased, but I think it's close.) When he said this, he validated my choice, and I know the Track's going to be great in the future.
I also knew that when I (and William, and the one staff member who said she'd leave when we did) stepped down, that Q would likely make a clean sweep of track staff. There were four folks left. Three of them were great and awesome and at least one is doing panels at the Track this year, AFAIK. That leaves one, the problem child.
At least one of the main reasons for me leaving Dragon*Con was to get this problem child out of her perceived position of power. I have not told many folks this, but now y'all know. I don't expect thanks, but I do expect a better steampunk community as a result.
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