Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Guest Post – Who has influenced you the most in your life? #BestFriend by D.G. Kaye

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BERJAYA

This series is about the person you feel has had the most influence on your life and has shaped the person you are today, and what you have achieved.  That might be in reaching personal goals or to do with your career.

This is of course also a marketing opportunity for your blog and books, and a showcase of your writing skills.

At the end of the post you can find out how you can participate in this series.

Who Has Influenced You Most in Your Life?

BERJAYA

I didn’t have to think too long about who I’d choose for this important person who opened my world to life, living, friendship; and the first person in my life who showed me unconditional love – my soul sister and best friend for forty-six years, my Sanja.

There was a me always inside me that I kept hidden from my family while growing up. I observed everything I saw and heard, didn’t dare question anything, and was never invited to share my thoughts, dreams, or aspirations while growing up. Nobody asked, and so, I never felt the comfort to share.

‘I love you,’ were unfamiliar and uncomfortable words for me while growing up. I mostly lived in my head, documented my feelings, and my sanctity was music. For an outgoing personality, I always felt stifled by all my thoughts and dreams; I felt uncomfortable sharing with anyone in my family circle. My circle was small. I grew up solely around liberal Jewish people and community – including school, and a predominantly Jewish high school. I always felt out of place, feeling though I didn’t really connect with anyone and always looked forward to just coming home from school and playing music and living in my imagination. I had no exposure to other cultures, save for the interesting and sometimes savory characters my mother brought round to our home from her extra curricular activities – mostly gambling.

My marks were always high in school, despite me being a last -minute studier for a test – I always did and do my best work under pressure. I was closest with my father, and my Aunty Sherry, my mother’s sister. Yet, I was still hesitant to share what went on in my head with anyone. My mother was rather intimidating to speak with, mostly because all four of us kids learned young, how to dance around my mother’s moods and angry outbursts. My father used to warn us – “Lookout today kids, your mother is on the warpath again.”

It wasn’t until my parents finally divorced when I was almost seventeen that my father sold the family home. My aunt was the rental agent in a very sought after building complex that had wait lists two years long to get into. My father and my aunt knew well of the turbulent childhood I endured under the rule of my mother and miraculously came up with the great idea to set me free on my own and put the onus back on my mother to take care of her other three children. The deal was sealed when my aunt got me my own apartment, lease signed and rent paid for the first two years by my father as I learned to stand alone on my own. I was elated to break free from the chains of emotional domination by my mother and eager to live my own life at only a few months before my nineteenth birthday.

My aunt also got me a part-time receptionist job right in my building in the gym and recreation center. That is where and when my life opened and began.

BERJAYA

Most Saturdays were quiet at the gym. Sanja would sit in her lifeguard office up at the pool as I’d sit at reception, often bored, and we began calling one another to gab to pass the empty hours. Within weeks our lives became intertwined forever – until forever was cut short last August when she was unjustly taken from this world.

Sanja was unlike anyone I’d ever known. She was originally born in then Yugoslavia, a free spirit who exuded joy and happiness no matter the occasion. Sanja lit up a room wherever she walked in. From the day I met her there was a light in her that became the light that guided me through my own life and learning. I wasn’t realizing it at the time, but that girl was a beacon gifted to me. A beacon who led me through life – all the good and the bad she was there for, and I was always learning from her. She brought me into her world of people, friendships, and love. And I learned a lot about how real families interact. None in my new circles, except one, were of the Jewish faith in my ever-growing circle of friends, and eventually, my Catholic friend Marg married the only other of our friends who was Jewish. My circle grew, making more friends with many cultures who’d emigrated from other countries. There was love, friendships, conversations, and much I’d learned as the sheltered girl who joined this circle of life.

Sanja taught me many things in life without realizing she was teaching me, and it all felt good and albeit, a little strange at first when my growing social life was first evolving. But the most important thing I learned from her was unconditional love. I had never known unconditional love, never knew it existed. Growing up around my parents’ fighting and my mother’s rule, I was always trying to be the peacekeeper, yet, not feeling liberated to say what I felt because I was insecure about how my feelings would be taken, with an outburst from my mother or a threat for speaking my feelings. I never realized while living at home how much I craved being loved and listened to without reprimanding, until I learned it existed.

When Sanja would hug me if something wasn’t going well, or if something happened to me, which somehow often did, she’d kiss me and hug me and told me the words – I love you. It felt strange at first, but as time went by and we became best friends and sisters for the rest of our days together, I felt like she was the mother I never had, and the big sister I never had – even though she was five months younger than me. She was my guiding light, my twin-flame, sister, and soulmate. And I’m glad she knew how much she meant to me. She is the other hole in my heart that sits beside the hole from my beloved husband.

BERJAYA

Like a first true love, I learned from my best friend what love meant.

©DGKayewriter.com2026

Books by D.G. Kaye

BERJAYA

One of the reviews for Fifteen First Times

Lauren Scott
5.0 out of 5 stars Delightful and poignant memories

I’ve always enjoyed D.G. Kaye’s conversational writing style. This book is no exception to her honest and entertaining narrative. She has compiled a collection of ‘firsts’ from her teen years relatable to all readers. I felt so at ease that I read this collection in one sitting, feeling like we were comfortably chatting over a glass of wine. These memories invited me to stroll down memory lane, recalling crazy crash diets, first kiss, first boyfriend, and first broken heart that felt like it would never mend. Her amusing fascination with shoes made me chuckle; how she managed those heels is beyond me. I laughed out loud when I read about the first hair dye episode. Her first car was a Ford Mustang given by her wonderful father, and while my first car wasn’t, her story evoked memories of when I bought a blue Mustang a few years later with equal excitement.

Kaye’s anecdotes are witty, engaging, and poignant. She has no trouble sharing her vulnerability. Low self-esteem plagued her in those years, but with her outgoing personality and wild sense of fashion, she rose above it, growing into the confident woman she is today. Being a teenager isn’t easy. Those years are about finding ourselves, figuring out who we are, and Kaye succeeded with spirit!

Kaye ends the collection with an emotive tribute to her late husband, her only true love. My heart still aches for her loss. She writes in her dedication, “To those who’ve been there, done that, and learned from. And for those who’ve yet to venture out and overcome.” She couldn’t have expressed the purpose of this delightful book any better. Highly recommended for anyone who enjoys a heartwarming memoir and a stroll down memory lane. 

Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – follow Debby: Goodreads – Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – Twitter: @pokercubster – Linkedin: D.G. Kaye – Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Podcast: YouTube –  Bluesky: @dgkayewriter.bsky.social – All Links: Linktree

BERJAYA

About D.G. Kaye

D.G. Kaye is a Canadian nonfiction/ memoir writer who writes about life, relationships, matters of the heart and women’s issues, and the author of eight published memoirs. She writes to inspire others by sharing her stories about events she’s encountered, and the lessons that came along with them.

D.G. loves to laugh and self-medicate with a daily dose of humor. She is an empath and fashionista, and shopper extraordinaire. When not writing intimate memoirs, you’ll find D.G. writing with humor in some of her other works and blog posts.

“My passions: obsessed with shoes, colorful sunsets, sandy beaches, and margaritas on the rocks (in no particular order). My blog is an eclectic mix of randomness, where you’ll find anything from writing tips to tales from the past, an occasional rant about injustice, spiritual awareness, relationship talk, travel tips, book reviews, author interviews, and sometimes dabbles in political poetry. It’s almost impossible for me to dwindle it down to just one niche, because it never is. I’m an eclectic memoirist and conversationalist who writes to empower by sharing slices of life.” 

BERJAYA

Some guidelines.

  • If you look back at your life, who would you say had the most influence on who you are today or your life’s achievements?
  • It might be a parent, grandparent, or other relation, perhaps a teacher, employer or someone who you only encountered for a brief period, but changed the course of your life in a positive way.
  • It might be someone you have never met but influenced you in another way such as by their actions or a book that you read by them. This is a tribute to that person.
  • It can be a post your have already written or one that is unpublished.
  • If already published just send me the link.
  • I will top and tail the post with the usual links and a recent review etc.
  • This is an opportunity to show off your writing skills and to encourage readers to follow your blog or buy your books…dress to impress.

What I need from you sent to my email sallygcronin@gmail.com

If you are have been promoted here before.

I just need your word document 1000 to 1500 words and two or three photographs to break up the text.. perhaps of you at that stage in your life or one of the person who you are writing about.

If they are an author then an Amazon link so I can copy the cover of their book or books with a link.

If you have not been featured on the blog before

  • In addition to the word document and photographs for the post I will need your information.
  • A profile photograph, up to date  biography, social media links for website or blog, Facebook, Twitter, or Linkedin.
  • If you are an author your Amazon Author page, Goodreads and Bookbub if you are there too.

Once I have received your post

  • I will schedule and let you have the date.
  • On the day of publication I will send you a link for the post.
  • It would be great if you could share your post on your social media.
  • I ask that all comments are responded to individually as it does make a difference to the number of times the post is shared.
  • When shared on social media I will tag you if you are on that platform and it would be great if you could thank the person who has shared the post..

I am looking forward to discovering the amazing people who have inspired you and sharing them here in this series… get in touch… thanks Sally. 

 

107 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Guest Post – Who has influenced you the most in your life? #BestFriend by D.G. Kaye”

  3. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Guest Post – Who has influenced you the most in your life? #BestFriend by D.G. Kaye | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – DGKayewriter.com

  5. I certainly recall you writing before about Sanja and it is so sad that she died too young. Though we had a happy family my mother was not always easy to live with and after leaving home I realised that Dad was so quiet we saw other people, including relatives, through Mum’s eyes, often in a negative light! It’s good for anyone to be independent and see beyond their own family. Lots of young and not so young adults seem to be trapped at home these days with housing of any sort so difficult.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks Janet, and thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Oh yes, the world is not the same since I was a teenager living free and happy away from home. Sadly, the youngsters of today are financially strapped to home when they should be standing on their own feet exploring the world and taking it in.😋

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Oh, Debby, I am so sorry you lost your best friend. It was a special relationship that you can treasure in your memories and always keep them in your heart. It is a difficult thing to lose someone who you loved.
    I lost my best friend last year but we only knew each other for six years but we were very close. My heart goes out to you! Blessings and hugs. Thanks for sharing, Debby and Sally.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. What a beautiful tribute to your sweet friend, known as Aunt Sanja, Debby! I love that she protected and supported you after a difficult upbringing and at a confusing time in your life. What an angel. Hugs, C

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Beautiful tribute to Sanja, Debbie. ❤️ It’s rare to have such a caring/loving friend who is truly a family member. Thank you for sharing as you have.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. How wonderful that you were gifted such a dear friend, at a time when you needed her. It sounds like she had a profound influence on your life. Even though she is not physically with you, she is till there. It’s the people we meet along the way that make a difference. Sending hugs. xo

    Liked by 2 people

  18. This is a beautiful tribute and one that has touched me very much. Debby has written about Sanja before and this account explains why she was so important to her and what a huge and positive change she made to her life – ‘a beacon gifted to me’ indeed. Those first two photographs of the two of them are lovely and you can still see the same people (under the different hair colour!) regardless of the time that’s passed. I was so sorry to hear about Sanja’s passing. Much love and hugs to both you and Debby. ♥♥

    Liked by 2 people

  20. It is, Sally. I had few friends in childhood because of family circumstances. I think, in those times, my person would be my aunt, my mum’s sister. Of course, for the last sixty years, it’s been David . You work so hard for everyone, so you are a true friend to many, as well. 💜

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks Judith and we were always on the move with my father’s postings and making friends was always with the knowledge that you would move on and lose touch. No Internet to keep in contact. And in the last 50 years or so we have moved 18 times but delighted to say that we are still in touch with friends we made along the way. But like you my David has been my rock. ♥♥

      Liked by 3 people

  21. What a lovely post about a very special friend. There are indeed so many people who come into our lives who have a profound impact.

    a great tribute

    Liked by 3 people

  23. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Guest Post – Who has influenced you the most in your life? #BestFriend by D.G. Kaye – MobsterTiger

  24. I’ve read Debby’s account of her difficult upbringing, so it sounds like Sanja was heaven-sent to bring some balance, together with much-needed love and support, to her life. Such a blessing to have such a friend, and such a tragedy to lose them far too soon. Many thanks for sharing, Debby, and so sorry for your loss. Thanks to you, Sally, for giving Debby this space and for also giving a boost to her writing. 💕💕

    Liked by 3 people

  26. The story of Debby’s growing up is touching to my heart, Sally. That her Aunt Sherry and friend Sanja were so good for her is wonderful. The great review turns my mind to her writing.

    Liked by 3 people

  27. Sanja is certainly a very good friend. I knew about your mother but it is difficult growing up in that situation. It was interesting reading. Thank you Sally for doing this interesting series.

    Liked by 3 people

  28. What a special friend! The photos of the two of you exude the message: These two people are great pals!

    I suspect that Sanja may have been raised in a home where showing love came easily. My mom was the far more nurturing parent, though my dad was still a good man. He was raised by strict German parents, and it wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned how to crack through his hard exterior.

    Liked by 4 people

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