Entries by tag: getdafuckouttaheahwiddatbullshitm
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*stands up and starts slow golf-clap that builds in frequency and intensity till I'm clappin', stompin' and shoutin' "A-FUCKIN-MEN!"*
Seriously, if you had the time of your life in high school or college then good for you. You did the damn thang and now have great memories. But they are MEMORIES cuz that shit is IN THE PAST! But if that was the apex of your life then that's some sorry-ass shit on your part. It's time to make new memories as a grown-ass person. Those memories can be just as good, but they'll be of a different quality.
But you look like a gotdayum fool tryna still fit into your cheerleader outfit when you've had four kids and gained 15 pounds per kid. And what are you gonna tell the EMTs when they gotta get you up off the floor cuz you done dislocated your hip doing your old cheer splits? Same for the dudes that now got a beer gut and a comb-over and more hair growing out of their ears than their heads still talking about that one game they shined in, dutifully reciting their old sports stats when you know they'd end up in ICU if they tried to run 5 yards much less the 80 they said they did in that one game.
And you know good and damn well you can't party like you did in h.s./college. You try that shit now and you'll end up with the ER docs shoving charcoal down ya gullet to induce you to vomit out all that junk before it kills you. And the next day you'll look and FEEL like you've been reincarnated as one of Terrence Howard's wet wipes. There's plenty of grown folk fun that don't involve 911 calls and folks laughing at you at your own funeral cuz you died breaking your neck and back in three places tryna do your old breakdancing moves with witnesses hearing ya back crack when you were tryna windmill on peeps.
And that goes for mofos who've been in the military for two seconds (including folks who washed outta BASIC) and then wanna be all "HOOOO-AAAAAAHHH" for the rest of their lives at the drop of a hat. Mofos stay acting like their asses were in Special Forces when they peeled potatoes in the kitchen for most of their duty. Now if you've made a CAREER out of the military and retire in your 50s or 60s that's totally different. But we're talking about the goobers who left relatively young enough to make whole entire new lives and careers for themselves who still go on and on about being in the military and all the shit they [lied about] did who want to think they're somehow superior to the rest of us "civvies."
I'm not saying you can't reminisce, but that's different than trying to pretend that time stood still, that the clock and the calendar haven't advanced on yo' ass.
Now I too feel a lot better.
( Relevent text for the linkophobes.Collapse )
*stands up and starts slow golf-clap that builds in frequency and intensity till I'm clappin', stompin' and shoutin' "A-FUCKIN-MEN!"*
Seriously, if you had the time of your life in high school or college then good for you. You did the damn thang and now have great memories. But they are MEMORIES cuz that shit is IN THE PAST! But if that was the apex of your life then that's some sorry-ass shit on your part. It's time to make new memories as a grown-ass person. Those memories can be just as good, but they'll be of a different quality.
But you look like a gotdayum fool tryna still fit into your cheerleader outfit when you've had four kids and gained 15 pounds per kid. And what are you gonna tell the EMTs when they gotta get you up off the floor cuz you done dislocated your hip doing your old cheer splits? Same for the dudes that now got a beer gut and a comb-over and more hair growing out of their ears than their heads still talking about that one game they shined in, dutifully reciting their old sports stats when you know they'd end up in ICU if they tried to run 5 yards much less the 80 they said they did in that one game.
And you know good and damn well you can't party like you did in h.s./college. You try that shit now and you'll end up with the ER docs shoving charcoal down ya gullet to induce you to vomit out all that junk before it kills you. And the next day you'll look and FEEL like you've been reincarnated as one of Terrence Howard's wet wipes. There's plenty of grown folk fun that don't involve 911 calls and folks laughing at you at your own funeral cuz you died breaking your neck and back in three places tryna do your old breakdancing moves with witnesses hearing ya back crack when you were tryna windmill on peeps.
And that goes for mofos who've been in the military for two seconds (including folks who washed outta BASIC) and then wanna be all "HOOOO-AAAAAAHHH" for the rest of their lives at the drop of a hat. Mofos stay acting like their asses were in Special Forces when they peeled potatoes in the kitchen for most of their duty. Now if you've made a CAREER out of the military and retire in your 50s or 60s that's totally different. But we're talking about the goobers who left relatively young enough to make whole entire new lives and careers for themselves who still go on and on about being in the military and all the shit they [lied about] did who want to think they're somehow superior to the rest of us "civvies."
I'm not saying you can't reminisce, but that's different than trying to pretend that time stood still, that the clock and the calendar haven't advanced on yo' ass.
Now I too feel a lot better.
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