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Thursday, August 9th, 2007
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8:58 pm - Birthday plans, worrying, and love/nonsense.
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Saw John in the village yesterday afternoon. Instead of avoiding me like the bloody plague, he waved and said hello. I was surprised; we haven't talked since we broke things off. He asked if I wanted to come round the shop again sometime and I said no. I still don't know what possessed me to say it, because I know how much I really liked him. And I think that he would have actually been a fairly decent relationship, but... I don't know. I guess I can't ever make anything easy.
My birthday is on Saturday. I haven't really planned much of anything as I've been worrying about Harry and Draco to be honest, stupid as that is. busy. Lupin Remus and I have been writing back and forth for some time now, and he tells me I've nothing to worry about. "They're grown up lads now, Gin. You needn't worry so much. You're like Molly in that respect." Like Molly, my arse.
Still. The problem comes as to what to do on my birthday. I was thinking Quidditch until dusk, swing by a pub (or a few) for drinks, then see where that takes us.
You're all welcome.
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| Thursday, July 26th, 2007
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8:25 am
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Hm. I tried to pop by and see Draco last night, as I was out and had nothing else to do with my evening, but he either wasn't in or he was busy with Harry. All my attempts at contacting people who don't live in my house have been thwarted as of late, and I can't bloody stand it any longer.
Not seeing Draco was the last straw in the realization of how truly lonely I am.
It was worse than breaking up with John, worse than losing my grandparents, worse than facing Tom Riddle, and more than anything it was worse than finding out about Harry not loving me. Loneliness, I think, is the ultimate feeling of complete and utter worthlessness.
And aside from everything else, miss everyone terribly. Harry, I miss especially. I want to go visit him, tell him how much I miss him, wish him a happy early birthday and give him a hug. I suppose going through school with him always around sort of spoiled me into thinking that we'd actually be friends ... I don't know. For the rest of our lives, I guess. Now I never see anyone, and I feel so out of the loop.
So I'm wallowing in self-pity. This is very un-Gryffindor-like of me. Someone please snap me out of it. Please.
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| Monday, April 30th, 2007
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11:44 am
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Everything seems all wonky today, for some reason. Feeling a little ill (in spring? I know, it's odd), and I'm thinking about going off to stay with Ron for a bit just to get away from things. Likewise, I miss him really awfully, and I'm sure he's lonely as well.
I've needed a break for some time, I suppose. Anyone care to run away with me?
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| Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
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10:44 pm
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There was still almost a month left until it would really feel like winter for the first time, but Ginny shivered. She sat in her dorm, curtains pulled around her four-poster, and shook. She hadn't heard from either of her parents in two weeks. Her last letter to her father had returned unopened, a Ministry's 'improper address' stamp printed cleanly across the front in red letters. Her last three letters to her mother were unreplied to, other than a simple "Darling, I'm sorry, it's just not safe to owl."
So she sat in her bed with no answers, shaking with stiffled tears, praying the few dormmates she had left wouldn't hear her cries. Ginny Weasley doesn't routinely cry, for any reason, and so she felt particularly foolish crying when she didn't even know what was wrong. Though something very clearly was.
Percy had sent her an owl. His primp, stucatto handwriting told her to kindly stop writing their father, because he was a very busy man now (although not saying what he was busy with), and that no one had the time to entertain her suspicions. Didn't she know they were in a crisis, he'd asked. She refused to respond for two reasons. Firstly, she suspected it wasn't Percy at all who had written the note, although she could find no spell to prove the contrary, and secondly because even if it had been him who had written it, she'd expect no answers from him. Instead she threw his letter in the fire, and watched it smolder away in anger.
"Something has to be done," she said to herself. She pulled out her quill and parchment, and set to work again.
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| Sunday, October 1st, 2006
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12:13 pm
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Still no word. We've heard nothing from my dad in nine days. The Ministry told my mum that his location is 'undisclosed'.
Bollocks. That's a nice way of saying they've lost him, I think. Or worse. I'm not even supposing that he's dead. I don't like to think about it.
I'm still hoping he finds some way to contact us. Or that, at least, the fucking Ministry will tell us whether he's alright or not. That's not too much to ask for...
current mood:  worried
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| Friday, September 22nd, 2006
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1:11 pm
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I got an owl from my mum yesterday. Dad's been moved into Magical Law Enforcement because, and I quote, "... they needed his experience." Why do they need dad's experience? Experience in what? He's not experienced in anything that an ordinary Muggle couldn't tell you.
The whole tone of her letter was upsetting. Aside from that, I am totally bloody lost and mum won't tell me anything except, "... his hand's always on 'mortal peril' now and he can't even tell me why..."
I'm shaking still. I've had twenty hours to mull it over, and I'm still terrified. What the bloody hell is going on?
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| Tuesday, September 12th, 2006
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5:17 pm
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McGonnagal goads me daily about what I'm going to do with my life. She says that I'm lucky that I'm so clever, or else I'd be in serious trouble for not choosing a career field, and didn't I know that after graduation it's really too late to make a choice?
I told her that I frankly did not care, and that if all else failed, I'd go work for Fred and George doing Product Development or something. I told her that I have a fallback plan, although I didn't mention what it is.
To pass time I'm taking Potions (because everything requires you taking Potions), DADA, Charms, Muggle Studies, Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, and a couple of other courses that I actually can't remember at the moment. I feel that's a decent base of study, and that I can always to continuing studies next year if I need to.
Also, I'm hoping that I'll crawl out of this emotional rut I'm in soon. Bloody everyone's left school, and I'm fairly alone. I do see Pansy every now and again, but it seems we're always to busy to say hello.
I did plan a sort of date with Justin, though. Not really date, just a getting-together-for-drinking-and-talking. At least that's what we've planned it as. |
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| Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
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9:36 am
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I hate you, John St. Claire.
That's what happiness looks like. And now it's gone.
I'm ready to give up on finding someone, ever. I realize that must seem sort of drastic, but I'm of age now (since Aug. 11, sorry there wasn't a party) and I just wish I had someone to start my life with after Hogwarts is over with. That seems to be the rage now, and I can see why. Who wouldn't want someone to love them?
(OOC: The boy in the picture is actually Bonnie's older brother Lewis.)
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| Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
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10:21 am
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Ugh. Single again? Why yes, I am.
This whole situation with John was a lot of bother with almost no rewards. Imagine not being able to talk about school, Quidditch, or your family with a significant other? Bollocks.
Though I'm awfully lonely. Someone make plans with me before I go mad. Being back at school and away from Ottery St. Catchpole has greatly reduced my stress levels, of course (no mum shouting about cleaning my socks), but without work and John, I'm bored to tears. I suppose I should be devoting myself to schoolwork, but why bother? I have no future plans, anyway.
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| Thursday, August 3rd, 2006
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7:36 am
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Oh, Merlin.
No matter how many times I hear Harry and Draco... erm, together, I simply cannot get used to it. Though, I suppose, they do what pleases them, and I should try not to be bothered by it. But it's gross to the point of being vomitous. Like having to listen to Ron shag someone. Ugh.Thank god that's never happened.
Work has been slightly hellish. All the muggle children are out of school, and have nothing better to do with themselves than putter around the village, wasting their pocket money on magic tricks. I can't say that I'm not enjoying myself, but the pace is absurdly hectic, and I've actually had to use the cash register, which still mystifies me a bit. At least I can say I've got the bloody money down, though.
John took me to tea yesterday, and it's been the only non-work related freedom from the Burrow that I've had in over a week. In conversation I said something about Harry's birthday, and how we'd celebrated it in the back garden of the Burrow, and how Harry lives with us durring holiday. This seemed to thoroughly upset Jonh. I tried to smooth things over with a hurried, "Oh, no worries. Just because we used to be in love doesn't mean anything. He's gone all poufy for my best friend now, actually, and he lives with us as well." That didn't clear things up quite as I had planned. Lots of words seem to come out of my mouth when I'm upset, not many of them making much sense.
So everything ended up rather awfully, and John droppped me off at the end of our lane afterward, and angrily asked me if that was Harry flying up in the air on a broomstick.
Yeah. I assure you, I've never paniced so fucking much. I told him that I had no idea what he was talking about, that I didn't see anyone, and tried to pull out of the car. But no, nothing ever works out quite that nicely. Just as I said, "... no idea what you're talking about," Ron bloody flew after Harry shouting, "That's a fucking foul, you stupid prat. You can't touch the Quaffle!"
To which I laughed nervously and said, "You know, that's probably some sort of gay thing," before running down the lane and into the Burrow.
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| Thursday, July 13th, 2006
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11:58 am
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I'm sharing my room with two other girls. It's really, really strange, as I've never shared my room with anyone but Hermione before, and that was only for a few weeks. Though I do love having Daphne and Pansy around, don't get me wrong. It is a bit cramped in here, though, so I'm thinking about asking if one of them would like to room with Draco in Percy's old room. Mum's really made it look nice since he abandoned us; plus, it's good to have a guest room. Or perhaps I should just buck up and deal with it. So what if the floors a little messy? The whole room's been needing a thorough cleaning charm for weeks, anyway.
I did my first shift at work yesterday. It was... facinating. I learned how to use a cash regristrar cash rigestrir cash ragrestar the thing the money goes in. I never thought I'd have to use any of the stuff Harry told me about Muggle money, but now I'm glad I was listening the whole time. I only gave the wrong change once, but it was because I'd never seen a fifty pound note before, and I thought it was a fiver. The Muggle involved looked at me like I was barking, and John's father came to sort it all out. He said, "Don't worry, love. Everyone makes mistakes on their first day," but shortly after, he switched me from taking money to helping show customers around the store. I like this bit much, much better. Partly because I don't have to learn anything new, and partly because Muggles are really quite funny. The carry around very small telyfones with no little cable for the elcktricity to go into. I'm not sure how they get it to run, really, because they're just too small to put a batarie in, I think. I plan to ask Hermione about these as soon as possible.
I assume that Mr. St. Clair will pay me in Muggle money, of course, which I'll have to either use here in the village (which isn't hard, because they have a lovely little tea shop and a nice pub), or save up and have changed at Gringott's. But now the villagers won't look at me like I'm mad when I want to buy paper with sickles and knuts.
Paper, for those of you who know nothing about Muggles, is what they use rather than parchment, only much less expensive. We should probably all switch over to this, because it really is absurdly cheaper. Though you can't use eraser charms on it, for some reason, but that doesn't really matter, as most Muggles use pencils. They have a bit of rubber on the end that takes away markings. It's really interesting.
This job is so good for me. I'm learning all sorts of interesting things.
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| Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
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8:57 am
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The Burrow is full to the brim again with all sorts of people, and it's finally starting to feel like home. I invite anyone to come over for the day to visit, and maybe play a bit of Quidditch. My brothers, Draco, and I are all quite good, so if we had another player we could have three-on-threes.
Yesterday I went down to the village to explore, because Draco and Daphne were knee-deep in a conversation that i didn't want to interrupt, and everyone else was busy. I decided to go back to that Muggle 'magic shop,' just to see if they'd gotten anything knew.
Promptly when I went in, I did notice something very new, indeed. The proprietor, Mrs. St. Clair, was out, and a boy about Ron's age was tending the counter. Mrs. St. Clair was his grandmother, he told me, and when she'd fallen ill last month he'd had to take over running the shop.
His name is John, and he thinks my magic tricks are amazing. I told him I was in need of gainful employment, and he then closed the shop for lunch and said that we could discuss salary over tea.
It was one of the most wonderful discussions I've ever had, honestly, though we never did get around to talking over my salary. He asked me to come in every Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday for about six hours a day. I suppose we'll see how everything works out.
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| Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
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6:02 pm
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I frankly do not know what to do with myself.
I've never really been alone before, not with six brothers usually filling up the house. No one but Ron is ever in the house now. This probably would not have bothered me last summer, when we were sort of friends, but we've grown apart in the past few months. I think it started with his stupid aversion to Hermione, him disappearing for weeks at a time. I suppose, like with Harry, I've lost track of what goes on in his like.
Speaking of Harry... well, If you're listening, Boy-Who-Snogged-Draco, I'd really like to talk. I mean, if you want to. I've decided that I don't want to hex you. And that what you did was... understandable, I guess. Also, Daph and I have sort of come to terms. I suppose I was stupidly angry with her, as she really wasn't involved at all. I apologized, as those who know me well know that I HATE to do, so she'd better feel awfully bloody special. I think perhaps being angry at all was rather pointless. Why should I get so upset about something that's already happened, and that I cannot change in the slightest? Of course I'm still a bit upset, but who wouldn't be?
And to anyone who considers themselves my friend- send me an owl or pop in for a visit. I'm going bloody mad, here! Though some of that could be the stress of waiting on exam results...
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| Friday, June 23rd, 2006
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7:16 pm
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Fuck. Why is there always something in my life that I don't want to bloody talk about?
Please no one ask me if I'm doing alright, or I shall have to hex you into a small, gooey puddle. Understand?
Also, Pans? I AM SO INFURIATED WITH YOU THAT I CAN BARELY TYPE STRAIGHT. ALSO YOU, HARRY POTTER, "THE BOY WHO FUCKED UP."
Although, Draco, I've nearly forgiven you, as this actually wasn't your fault. Sit with me by the lake while I pout?
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| Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
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7:42 pm
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6:27 pm
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Party in Gryffindor Tower tomorrow? Well I'm ready for it. I've been saving my gold for ages, and I finally blew it all this afternoon. I snuck off to Hogesmeade for a little nessecity shopping, and came across a large deal of Russian firewhiskey being sold at very low prices. Turns out the stuff is illegal to sell and import... but not to buy, for some odd reason. So there I was, trying to charm the stuff to be light, and stuffing it into Habber & Dasher's bags to look inconspicous.
So, there you have it. We've simply got loads of firewhiskey for tomorrow's bash, and I've also got a lovely new dress to boot. I'm not sure what everyone else is wearing to this party thing, but I'm wearing that dress whether you like it or not. I may never get another chance.
So far, things have been working out very well for me today.
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| Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
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8:46 am
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Ginny never thought she'd find herself in the Slytherin girl's dorm, celebrating Draco Malfoy's eighteenth birthday. But she was glad that she did find herself there, drinking large amounts of liquour with her new friends, shooting off her brothers' newest rockets, and waiting anxiously for the right moment to give Draco his birthday present.
"This is all very party-like, but the whole thing's missing a vital birthday ingredient," said Draco slyly. "Where are my bloody presents?"
Draco opened a few present to the oohs and aahs of everyone else, until finally he'd run out. He looked pointedly at Ginny and said, "What, no present from the Weaslette?"
"Of course I've brought you a present," she said, her fingers clasping tightly around something small and warm in her pocket. She drew out a glass vial, filled nearly to the top with a silvery turquoise liquid, like Bombay Saphire and mercury combined.
"You've got to be kidding," scoffed Daphne, "that's not--"
"Euphoria?" Ginny smiled. "Yes, it is. I spent ages making it, and trust me, it wasn't the easiest potion I've ever made. But you wouldn't believe what you can find in the Restricted Section. They've got books on everything."
"How do you know you've done it right?" Millie asked, eyeing the bottle suspiciously.
"I don't, really. I mean, I tested a drop, and I did feel sort of giddy and excited, but you never know." She paused. "It's a risk you'll have to take, Draco."
Draco chuckled. "It looks... perfect," he said, smiling a bit.
"It tastes like gin and ... erm, excitment," said Ginny, "if that makes any sense."
"Oh it does," Draco laughed, dropping the vial into his pocket.
OOC: I didn't take the pretense of saying what anyone else got Draco, so you all could make that up yourselves. :P Also, I had to put a picture of Bombay Saphire, because I don't know how many of you drink. And, its just a beautiful liquid. XD
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| Friday, June 2nd, 2006
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4:17 pm
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| Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
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5:59 pm
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9:06 am
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current mood:  exhausted
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