I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies…

A Beautiful Mistake

tiffaaaaany

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	[21 Jul 2005\|10:39pm]
Come join distinctbeauty!
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	[30 Jun 2005\|01:05pm]
Just posting to see what time it is hahaha :D
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Random Update

[14 Jun 2005|02:33pm]

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Holy hell is it hot outside!!!11 8-D

Shower Time :D

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[12 Jun 2005|10:08pm]

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What a weekened.

Friday , I worked at the blood drive for Key club and then sat at home cause I got in trouble the night before for comming home too late.

Saturday , I went to Deans with Tony and just hungout with him, then I went to Danas with Nichole and Ashley and hungout there for like an hour , then we all walked to my house and just hungout for a little bit , Tony came over , he took us to Nicholes and he stayed at Nicholes and hungout with us for a little , then he left.

Sunday , I woke up , hungout with Ashley and Nichole and BECCA!!!!!11 We rode quads and it was hella cool! :D Then ashley , nichole , becca and I all went to Ashleys to go swimming. Then i came home and just layed around the house.

Yea I'm burnt ........... this sucks.

kbye.

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[19 Apr 2005|01:44pm]

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Something has been pondering my mind lately..

Why is it that the movie stars , musicians , designers , and comedians are the higher status of our society. Don't get me wrong I have alot of respect for these people but what have they contributed to our lives that is something we need? It's all about what we want. A good movie. A nice dress. A rockin' song. A laugh here and there. Those aren't things we need. Why shouldn't the doctors and physicians be walking the red carpet ? They save lives everyday. They are a necessity. But , the big " stars " are making the big bucks playing a guitar or designing an outift. Everyones born with these talents , what makes them so special? Because theyre good at it. Well doctors are good at saving lives. I think that keeping someone or something from death is much more important and should have more recognition then someone who can read some lines or someone whoh is blessed with a beautiful voice. Music is a big part of my life , but doctors and physicians are the people that make it able for me to be here to cherish these " stars ". I just think that people should look at the bigger picture and stop focusing on who we want but rather who we need.

... yea i dont know. I woke up late and ended up not going to school , so this was just bothering me. Meh.

Comments ? Agree .. Disagree? Whatever.

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	[07 Feb 2005\|08:27pm]
I found that amusing. I dunno.
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[07 Feb 2005|08:16pm]

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Time to update.. It's been a while.

The break was nice..

Went to the homer game , awesome. Hungout with Tony everyday , went to seths with tony and carly, basketball game , nichole and gina stayed, shopping with nichole, stayed at nicholes , went bowling and to Red lobster with nichole, got cool new shoes and cool new jewelry , went to get chinese food with matt today

thats about it.

Dreading the thought of waking up at 6 and going to hell

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	[12 Dec 2004\|02:13pm]
So .. In the past 2 hours here is what has happened .. I wake up and there is water all over our new carpet. It turns out that our tree stand was leaking. So my step dad had to go to walmart and buy a new tree stand. On the way home, he almost died. The car in the other lane swerved into his lane and hit the guy head on in front of my step dad. My step dad had to go all the way in the grass or else he would have also been hit. So then he had to go to the po po station. He came home fixed the tree, we had to re decorate it. Then he tried to put up one those fan things above the stove , it kept falling down and he had to re do it like 564654654 time , which made him really pissed off . THhhen , we just got a new kitchen floor and our kitchen chairs have these things on the bottom of them and they kept leaving indents on the floor so he tried to take the things off with a screw driver and the screw driver slipped and he cut his hand really bad. So my mom has to run him to the emergency room. Whew what a day. And now i have to stay home and watch my sister , and i cant go to Tony's :::::::::((((( bye.
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meatloaf , 2 outta 3 aint bad

[30 Nov 2004|06:37pm]

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Fucking school. Ugh it ruins everyones life. We got like 654654654 projects today.

I had a really bad day.

Came home got bitched at by Tony for caring what people think. That made me feel like a big pile of nothing. I just wish I could be perfect for him. Be that person that he's always dreamed of. Maybe then things will go my way. If you know what I mean.

I really can not wait until Evan comes home. I'll be able to let go and be myself. And actually be happy for a change. I hope he's still like I left him. And i hope he's ok with whats happening around him , which i won't mention. I just want him to be happy because he surely deserves it.

Ugh my dads birthdays comming up. I really miss him. I wish that every time i go to greensburgh I can just stop in and say hi and give him a great big hug and tell him how much i love him. But i can't , and who knows if i'll ever be able to do that again. It hurts , alot. People say that it gets easier and the pain goes away more and more each day but nothings progressing. Things are still the same. Nothings getting better. And i'm really starting to question if it ever will ?

on that note ..

have a great fucking day assholes

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Just because ..

[29 Nov 2004|08:33pm]

Don't you wish that you could meet the people you talk to on live journal? Grow the balls to ask your mom to purchase you a plane ticket to Florida or California to see this guy you've been talking to on aol and yes he may be a crazy stalker mom but I'm almost positive he's not , in hopes that she'll say yes? Yea ok so that was a waste of time.

I'm in one of those moods to write a super duper long entry , but I have nothing to write about. Back to school tomorrow. That sucks balls. I can't wait for it to snow. I have so many awesome people in my life. In fact that's what this is gonna be about. The awesomeness of my friends. So if you don't wanna hear a load of bullshit I would advise you to slide your mouse to the upper right hand corner and click that black x :D

* Gina - we've had some rough times , but I think it just brought us closer , and I am so happy for her and Lucas because they are both amazing people and amazing people should be together :D She more than anyone deserves to be happy because she has such a good heart and would do anything for you. And she has so much inner beauty. She is so confident with herself , and doesn't care what anyone thinks. She isn't afraid to be who she is and everyone knows that and can see that she is real. I wish she could pass some of that my way.

* Nichole - We are probably the most opposite people in this whole world , but its suprising that were such good friends. I can tell her anything and know that it's safe with her. She'll tell you the truth no matter how painful it may be at times.

* Mike - He is so much fun to hangout with. And I'm so glad I met him. He makes my days just a little brighter and I thank him so much for that.

* Brent - even though he always promises to hangout with me and of course that NEVER EVER happens , I still love him.

* Jaclyn - my lovely sister and I might add my favorite family member. I can tell her anything and she gives me the best advice. She's pushed me through so many hard times and if it weren't for her I could gurantee you I would not be the person I am. She is amazing.

* Evan - wowness ALMOST the awesomest.. We've had so many good memories , and he's like my big brother. If I ever have any problems I know I can confront him and he will give me the answers wether or not I want to hear them or not. He knows just what to say. He is a great person and everyone should have a friend like Evan. He comes home in 20 days! :D

Yea I think I covered everyone , if not .. get over it.

La La I still want to write more..

hmmmmmmmmmm............

AAAAnnnnnnnd I 'm done , later kids.

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	[28 Nov 2004\|10:25pm]
<FONT size=3>click to come join pic_whorexcore*
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am i pic_whoreXcore?	[28 Nov 2004\|10:23pm]
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/carrie7907/camera1.jpg"></a> <FONT face="Forte"><FONT size=3>click to come join pic_whorexcore
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[22 Nov 2004|07:15pm]

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47 / 50 on my ALG 2 test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D One more day till Thanksgiving VAY CAY!!!!!!!!! :D 27 days till EVAN comes home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

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	[21 Nov 2004\|08:26pm]
Friday: Hung out with Matt , Jayme , and Manny. I owe a big thanks to Manny. Thank you so much , your an amazing person. Saturday: Went to a play with Mike at IUP called " You can't take it with you" Which was freaking awesome. Sunday: Went to Tony's to watch the game and just hungout there all night. School tomorrow and Tuesday and then bbbbbbREEEEEEEEAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkkkkkk wahhhoooo! I can't wait. Evan comes home soon! :) He called me a few nights ago yay! Christmas Dance at Indiana December 11th yyyea thats all , later kids
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[09 Nov 2004|09:35pm]

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Thought I should update while my computers actually working. So grades come out friday and i think i'm gonna be grounded because i have 2 C's . Friggin parents. ahh I can't wait till i can move out. Friday game. Saturday might hangout with someone. Tomorrow night might go to Chris's to watch a movie or something. I dunno probably not. I miss matt , we never go for walks anymore :( I lost my ring. wahh Oral presentation in Spanish 2 tomorrow. I'm gonna choke i cannot do anything in front of people .. eek. Yea all my friends think I'm depressed. I'm not i'm just sick of being alone and sick of everyones shit. You can never trust anyone. On that note , have a great night.

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[23 Oct 2004|07:02pm]

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At the new house. Yay. :) I wuv it soo much!

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	[16 Oct 2004\|06:19pm]
So , yea new layout.. not sure if i like it. I'm thinkin' ... no. err idk. I wish the picture was a little more to the left or smaller. If anyone can help me with that it would be greatly appreciated. Umm .. tony came over today then we took him to work. Then i just hungout with the fam. Didn't go to the game last night becasue there was really noone i wanted to see there and i dont understand football , so it was a waste of my time to sit in the cold weather. So i sat home and did homework. haha I'm sucha dork. Friday night .. wheres Tiffany ? DOING HOMEWORK! anyways .. we should be moved in next weekened. Ron and shane are putting the new cabinents , countertops , and new hardwood floor in the kitchen today. I really need to concentrate on school cuz i'm not doing so well.. heh 0:) I love slice , and cashews. Mmm .. our football team kicks ass 7-0 baby. I can't believe Luke Drenning died. I feel so bad for his family , they lost their dad too. Its people like them that make you realize how good you have it... :( Tomorrow's my sisters birthday. woo hoo .. or not. Umm .. i'm outta here.. later
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[06 Oct 2004|06:37pm]

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Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
You know I just closed my eyes
My whole world disappeared
Father of mine
Take me back to the day
When I was still your golden boy
Back before you went away

I remember blue skies
Walking the block
I loved it when you held me high
I loved to hear you talk
You would take me to the movie
You would take me to the beach
You would take me to a place inside
That is so hard to reach

Father of mine
Tell me where did you go
You had the world inside your hand
But you did not seem to know
Father of mine
Tell me what do you see
When you look back at your wasted life
And you don’t see me

I was ten years old
Doing all that I could
It wasn’t easy for me
To be a scared white boy
In a black neighborhood
Sometimes you would send me a birthday card
With a five dollar bill
I never understood you then
And I guess I never will

Daddy gave me a name
My dad he gave me a name
Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name

Daddy gave me a name
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name

Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
I just closed my eyes
And the world disappeared
Father of mine
Tell me how do you sleep
With the children you abandoned
And the wife I saw you beat

I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame
Now I’m a grown man
With a child of my own
And I swear I’m not going to let her know
All the pain I have known

Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My dad gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
Then he walked away
Then he walked away

Story of my life ...

** my new favorite band ... Everclear

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[03 Oct 2004|04:27pm]

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I hate this town. Err and everyone in it. It sucks that you can't stand up for what you believe in because your afraid what other people will say. It sucks that you can't talk to your friends about your beliefs because you don't know how their gonna react and if they'll still wanna be your friends. So i guess this is a journal and your suppose to express your thoughts and feelings in it .. so friday I told some people i was a democrat and i was for kerry and it was like some kind of sin when i said it , people started flippin on me and getting all mad. I thought we were entitled to our own opinion.. geez that's the last time i'll do that .. And i'm really starting to think that i'm agonistic. Which is where you believe there is someone up there and watching over you but not necessarily god and you have no set religion.. have you ever seen god ? I guess u could say i'm a realist. I've been reading up on it and i go along with alot of their beliefs. But i'm scared if there is a god and i dont believe in him or maybe betraying him he's gonna do soemthing bad to me .. i dunno , it's just hard to believe. I mean almost everyone has been told that there is a god from the time they've been born. but honestly how can u believe it. Because theres a book ? hmm i dunno it's just a little acward to me. But then that raises alot of other questions like where is my dad? Who created all of this ? Who am i really praying to? Why does noone ever answer my prayers? And i relaly don't think that u should have to go to a CHURCH to prove to whomever that u believe in whatever .. yea i know it's confusing. But i really think i'm starting to believe in it.. ijust hope my family doesnt disown me.. err

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	[26 Sep 2004\|06:33pm]
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