EXCHANGE INTERFACE

Quilting weekend away - went to a quilting retreat. Found myself sitting at the 'introverts table'. Friendly, but not chatty people. *sigh*

Otherwise, I got to hang out with a couple of women I haven't really been able to since COVID days - the group mostly split because the mothers weren't able to get away as much once their kids hit primary and mum's taxi became a full thing for weekends as well.

Retreat was set at a Catholic convent retreat centre. The food was surprisingly good for somewhere that was clearly set up for camps (complete with bunk beds). I got lots of sewing done, which was excellent, because I've gotten almost none done otherwise lately.

Now I just have to get the rest of it done! That's always the trick, isn't it?

quilting pics

Finished quilt top for Scrapbox Elegy:

So named, because I am hoping it will be the end of my scrapbox. (*insert laughter from all the quilters*) Yeah, I know. But we live in hope!

I like to make quilts that people can look at and think "yeah, I could make that". I think this one does it pretty featly.

--

I'm feeling...really different right now. It might just be a function of my age, or my stage of life, but I'm feeling a bit...detached and ruthless, if that makes sense?

Reading through some of the fics for AtlA, they feel young. So many feelings! So much emotion! So much passion! So dramatic!

As much as I enjoy the dramatic stories, there's a part of me that rolls her eyes and thinks, "man, I don't remember being this young". Which, I feel like I wasn't. But also, I'm nearly 50 and I don't remember that shit anymore. Not to mention, when it comes down to it, the original stories are about teenagers - admittedly very talented, skilled, competent teenagers (with major major family and war trauma) - as a redramatic, passionate, emotional, and young is the order of the fandom. And most people came to it before they were fifteen, not when they were fifty.

Anyway, right now, I have two multichapters (although one is one story out of three, and the plots of the other two are slightly epic; may not get anyway) and one one-chapter-could-stretch-to-two smut.

I am finding myself writing character backstory to the stories I'm writing, though...

--

( do you ever think about death? )

Anyway, it was a really helpful weekend, and helpful in conceiving how I might be able to manage this if it came down to it.

Although, we're looking at the introduction of the bad strain of Bird Flu here on the East Coast. This is bad news.

--

I haven't played hockey in weeks, and I won't be playing for another 12 days, so I guess now is the time to start conditioning myself, right?

--

I need to send out the invite to my 50th Birthday Karaoke NIght.

Speaking of which, on the weekend, I was staying at a small town pub (they're called 'hotels' for a reason) and while the bed was very comfy, the place is not soundproofed, and they had karaoke night down below.

If I'd had any kind of a voice, I'd have gone down and sung some myself. Alas, I am still recovering from the lingering cold (another set of antibiotics were necessary, they finish today) and so I would have been...well, tbh, I'd have been about standard for the quality of the karaoke I was listening to downstairs.

transcript of chat to friend on Saturday night

[21:35]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:35 Tielan: I'm sitting in a small town hotel/pub, listening to the karaoke in the pub below.
[21:37]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:37 Tielan: great moogly googly, people cannot sing in tune
[21:37]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:37 Tielan: which I know, is not the point of karaoke
[21:38]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:38 Tielan: but I'm in bed, laughing like an absolute drain
[21:38]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:38 Tielan: right now, they're massacreing "Always" by Bon Jovi
[21:38]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:38 Tielan: several songs earlier, it was "Man, I Feel Like A Woman"
[21:38]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:38 Tielan: Initially, I thought it was a Very Bad Cover Band
[21:39]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:39 B: karaoke is always best when you are too close to the speaker to hear the singer properly
[21:39]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:39 B: or you're with friends and they're the ones butchering the song
[21:39]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:39 Tielan: then at least you get the hilarity
[21:39]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:39 Tielan: I mean, half the battle up here is trying to work out what the song is
[21:40]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:40 B: rate the karaoke on how easy it is to tell what song they're murdering
[21:40]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:40 B: 10/10 you butchered it but we know what it was
[21:41]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:41 Tielan: I don't think I know this song.
[21:41]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:41 Tielan: either that, or it's so butchered I don't recognise it
[21:41]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:41 Tielan: oh, another song from a previously in-tune singer was "My Life" (Billy Joel)
[21:41]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:41 Tielan: that was earlier
[21:43]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:43 Tielan: I am slightly tempted to go down and see if I can get in the line, but my voice is still recovering thx to this bloody cold
[21:49]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:49 Tielan: "A Guy Like Me" (Lifehouse?)
[21:49]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:49 Tielan: I think this guy has sung before
[21:50]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:50 Tielan: he's...not quite hitting the notes.
[21:50]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:50 Tielan: Sorry, but since I can't sleep, I might as well comment on the karaoke downstairs.
[21:54]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:54 Tielan: I don't know this song, but it sounds like whoever is singing it is doing a decent job of it
[21:56]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:56 B: if they didn't want to be a part of your liveblog, they shouldn't have been so entertaining
[21:58]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:58 Tielan: oh no.
[21:58]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:58 Tielan: someone is trying The Climb
[21:58]Saturday, 4 July 2026 21:58 Tielan: "there's always gonna be another mountain..."
[22:01]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:01 Tielan: I wonder what time this goes until.
[22:03]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:03 Tielan: Okay, this one has a good voice and is in tune
[22:03]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:03 Tielan: don't know the song thought
[22:06]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:06 Tielan: ooh, someone has brought in cabaret. Bad Manners?
[22:11]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:11 Tielan: "Take Me Back To You" - I think it's the same guy who was trying for "A Guy Like Me". He has the yen for the 80s power-ballads
[22:11]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:11 Tielan: might be the same guy who did "Always"
[22:14]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:14 Tielan: I've Done All The Dumb Things
[22:15]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:15 Tielan: Singer has the feel and the voice and just managed an "AAOOW!" yelp in the middle of the song
[22:17]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:17 Tielan: Don't Stop Believing
[22:18]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:18 Tielan: can't mistake those chords; voice is okay, but no timing
[22:23]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:23 Tielan: Never Tear Us Apart
[22:23]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:23 B: should someone tear them apart from the mic?
[22:23]Saturday, 4 July 2026 22:23 Tielan: I mean, mostly, I just want to sleep
[22:03] Tielan: Okay, this one has a good voice and is in tune
[22:03] Tielan: don't know the song thought
[22:06] Tielan: ooh, someone has brought in cabaret. Bad Manners?
[22:11] Tielan: "Take Me Back To You" - I think it's the same guy who was trying for "A Guy Like Me". He has the yen for the 80s power-ballads
[22:11] Tielan: might be the same guy who did "Always"
[22:14] Tielan: I've Done All The Dumb Things
[22:15] Tielan: Singer has the feel and the voice and just managed an "AAOOW!" yelp in the middle of the song
[22:17] Tielan: Don't Stop Believing
[22:18] Tielan: can't mistake those chords; voice is okay, but no timing
[22:23] Tielan: Never Tear Us Apart
[22:23] B: should someone tear them apart from the mic?
[22:23] Tielan: I mean, mostly, I just want to sleep
[22:23] Tielan: I'd be a little less annoyed if they were singing in tune
[22:24] Tielan: Alas, it is Saturday night in Small Town NSW
[22:24] Tielan: if this town has more than 50,000 inhabitants, I will be Very Surprised
[22:24] Tielan: and no, livestock is not counted
[22:24] B: that seems big for small town NSW
[22:26] Tielan: Have You Ever Seen The Rain?
[22:26] Tielan: the main street is a pub, a post office, a general store, a milk bar, a coffee shop, a laundromat, a realtor, and maybe a couple of craft-ish/antique shops
[22:27] B: yeah i'd bet on 15,000 max, town that small
[22:27] Tielan: I have no measure for a small town 😄
[22:28] B: town i spent some time in when i was a kid, had two primary schools and a high school. a hospital. just checked wikipedia - population 5,000
[22:29] B: maybe 12,000 if you count the local region around it
[22:30] Tielan: ...this song is so badly massacred I know what it is, but I can't make it out
[22:30] B: haunted by the song
[22:30] Tielan: he's not in time
[22:30] Tielan: he's not in tune
[22:31] Tielan: everything that's in this world is sure to fade?
[22:31] Tielan: 90s grunge?
[22:31] Tielan: too far away?
[22:31] Tielan: great moogly googly
[22:32] Tielan: NICKLEBACK
[22:32] Tielan: ded of laff
[22:32] Tielan: even Nickleback doesn't deserve this
[22:33] Tielan: damn this cold, if I had my voice, I would absolutely be down there belting out something like Pink's Trustfall
[22:33] Tielan: Take It Easy
[22:34] Tielan: I think there are max 3 people down there singing, and they're taking turns
[22:42] Tielan: Handle Me With Care
[22:43] B: are they handling the song with care?
[22:45] Tielan: no, but he's belting it out with a decent approximation of enthusiasm
[22:46] Tielan: I will accept enthusiasm in lieu of tunefulness
[22:46] B: enthusiasm does cover a lot of sins
[22:46] Tielan: exactly
[22:46] Tielan: a duet that sounds like it came from the 80s
[22:46] Tielan: has that balladic feeling
[22:49] Tielan: oh dear, it's the guy who can't carry a tune in a bucket
[22:49] Tielan: again
[22:49] Tielan: okay, I do him a disservice
[22:49] Tielan: he can carry a tune in a bucket, but the tune he is carrying isn't in the key of the song he's trying to sing
[22:50] B: he can carry a tune in a bucket but keeps picking up the wrong bucket
[22:50] Tielan: a far better simile
[22:50] Tielan: metaphor?
[22:50] Tielan: it's too late for me to remember which is which
[22:50] B: the second i think
[22:50] Tielan: also: I think he's singing about cowboys
[22:50] B: simile needs the word like in it i think
[22:50] B: from memory
[22:51] Tielan: ...I'm not sure if the cowboys are also a metaphor or not
[22:51] Tielan: no, that sounds right
[22:51] B: i was not great at english in high school
[22:51] Tielan: hey, look, it's nearly 11pm. I was kind of hoping to be asleep by 9, and I'm hoping this ends on the hour
[22:52] Tielan: yeah, he's definitely got the wrong bucket
[22:52] B: i don't know you'll be that lucky
[22:52] Tielan: yeah, I'm afraid of that
[22:53] Tielan: On the up side, at least there isn't a major sporting event on; I think there was the last time I stayed in this hotel
[22:53] Tielan: so not only was it noisy until midnight, but afterwards there were also a lot of drunk people yelling in the street
[22:53] B: ooof
[22:54] Tielan: we are back to enthusiastic guy
[22:54] Tielan: I Got A Love That Keeps Me Waiting
[22:57] Tielan: oh, someone is singing I Want That Man (Deborah Harry)
[22:57] B: we are getting an education in the music tastes of small town NSW
[23:00] Tielan: She can sing pretty well though.
[23:04] Tielan: 90s grunge boy is back: Glycerine
[23:09] Tielan: something country?
[23:13] Tielan: sounds like Springsteen
[23:13] Tielan: oh wait, no, Jimmy Barnes
[23:16] Tielan: yeah we are ALL OUT OF BUCKETS NOW
[23:16] B: the singing has kicked the bucket
[23:18] Tielan: okay, this is not a usual karaoke choice: The Way
[23:18] Tielan: "but where were they going without ever knowing the way?"
[23:29] Tielan: We Are The Children (?) dare I hope this is the last song?
[23:29] B: crosses fingers for you
[23:31] Tielan: oh well, they're belting it out now
[23:31] Tielan: I think all of them are doing it
[23:31] Tielan: ::giggles::
[23:31] Tielan: ooh key change
[23:31] Tielan: belter guy is doing the interspersions.
[23:31] Tielan: "we are the children" we are the children!
[23:32] Tielan: "We are the world!" we are the world!
[23:39] Tielan: okay, we are DONESKIES
[23:39] B: sleep well!
[23:39] Tielan: ...unless someone is about to start singing Don't You Want Me Baby because that's the background music that's just started up...
[23:39] B: oh no
[23:39] Tielan: no, wait, it's just pub background music
[23:39] Tielan: phew
[23:39] Tielan: BEDTIME
[23:40] Tielan: apologies to anyone who wakes to a bajillion pings on this channel
[23:40] Tielan: xo

--

Anyway, no hockey training tonight, but we're doing dinner at the local club which sponsors us.

Went to the doc for the 3rd time since this cold began.

I haven't been sleeping much the last week - too much coughing. I'm so tired that I've been fighting not to fall asleep all day.

He finally assigned me some antibiotics. I took one with lunch, and I feel much better already!

Such a relief!

I always forget that I have lentils and beans and pulses to cook.

They're just not something I instinctively reach for.

I have plenty of recipes and such, but actually cooking and spicing up the thing? Tricksier than one would think.

Maybe I just need to put a big sign up somewhere: USE THE BEANS

I have a baked feta eggs recipe that might work for several days of breakfasts, too. I need something protein-y in the mornings, or else I'm liable to just go for the croissants. (Which, there's nothing wrong with the occasional croissant, but not every day.)

Should I go to bed at nightfall tonight 6pm, wake up around 10pm, stay up until midnight and try again for sleep? Because I swear that I'm not really sleeping properly right now. From around 11pm until 3am, and then drowse off around 5am.

GAH.

1. What is place you have visited, or want to visit, that starts with D?

Have visited Dubai, DC, and Derbyshire. Have never visited Denmark. Would have liked to visit Dare Es Salaam, but I suspect those days of that kind of travel are largely over.

2. What is a food that you like, or don't like, that starts with R?

Raspberries. Rhubarb. Radishes. All growing in my garden.

3. Own anything that starts with the letter M?

Mops, mats, mapbooks, maquettes (statuettes), mogs. :D

4. Know anyone whose name (first, middle, or last) that starts with N?

I know a Nick and a Nonie and a Nat.

5. Favorite movie, book, TV show, or song whose title starts with T?

Does The Winter Soldier count? Okay, let's go with a song by P!nk: Trustfall which is my first choice for karoake every time. I love the strong melody, combined with the words, and the way that you just belt it with your whole belly.

It went well.

The host finally accepted the situation, we turned up, everything was fine, a great weekend was had. I'm so glad I did it.

Even if it was a bit stressful right before.

Also: I'm pretty sure I left the house with more food than I went into it with. Care of a pot of bolognaise that my friends made, and which turned out to be more than enough to feed 14 people (seven people, twice over - although, in all fairness, we weren't heaps hungry).

The house itself was pretty neat, albeit a little odd in design and layout. Apparently, it had originally been built around a courtyard in the centre of a three-wing house, and when they decided to extend the house, they roofed the courtyard, turning it into a dining/living space that looks in on the kitchen (which had a wall removed that it otherwise shared with the laundry.

We went to markets, antique shops, clothing shops, and a winery for lunch on Sunday. It was great, everyone got along, and there were enough extroverts and ambiverts to keep the conversation going!

--

And then I came home, and promptly acquired a sore throat, a cold, and a headache. I haven't tested for COVID yet. BLEH.

I do want a lot of sleep lately, though. And the house is cold. It's always cold here in winter and we don't realise just how bad it is until it's winter. BRR.

--

Otherwise, I am quite firmly getting into Avatar: The Last Airbender but just the original series, not the comics, the sequel about the Gaang, or the one about Korra. And mostly just reading the fic. Which is kind of fun.

I am also plotting fic. Because this is me.

One of them is a Black Jewels fusion. Because this is ALSO me.

How many of them will get written and finished? Probably none of them. Because, yes, me again.

Rain brings out the ants. Ugh. Lids of sweet things need to be screwed on tightly - or else.

Also, it's actually quite difficult to deal with the rain after so long of hot and dry sun.

That said, it's not going to last. Super El Nino, as most of us have heard. Which around here means more hot-and-dry-and-bushfiery. Eep. Yes, it's raining now, but that rain will produce a lot of tender green sprouting, which will dry off as the months go on and when spring-summer hits with its heatwaves and high temps...

Oof.

We won hockey, against a team we expected to lose against.

I scored the goal - short corner, it got passed around several times in the circle, and I was on the left post when the ball crossed the goal and I tapped it in. Whew! I don't often get it in, but I was there and it worked.

They were a good team - solid, some older experienced players, some younger ones with more energy and legs. And they were a pleasant team to play against, which was great. Some teams just leave you with a bad taste in the mouth. This one didn't. We tussled over the ball, but it wasn't bitchy.

We expected to lose against them because the whispers before the game were that they beat a team we'd beaten in the first round - by 10-0. We beat the team they thrashed by 2-0 back in the first round though. I mean, I could point out that they didn't have me playing, but in spite of scoring the goal, I would hardly say I was instrumental in this game. Our midfielders were on point for this one - intercepting, tackling, getting the ball away... All three '3-2-1' points for team MVP this week went to midfielders.

Anyway, I am super-sore, and will be seeing the physio this afternoon. Oof. I kind of wish I could have scored a massage beforehand to loosen everything up, but...couldn't manage otherwise.

We suspect that our two youngest, newest members will not be playing with us again

G, the teenager who I know from her mother's campaign, turned up but couldn't even take to the field. And S, the 20something who is very bad at communications, hasn't been heard from since last week.

*sigh*

G turns up to games, but doesn't play. Her father turns up and sits in the dugout, but won't take her home. She's not enjoying the games - not being involved as part of the team, and that's the point.

Honestly, we'd rather she quit than feel that she has to come and then ignore it. Try something else, more suited to her personality. It's not that we don't want her - we want her to play, yes! We want her to participate. To be involved. To join the team not just be on the sidelines.

Might need to have a talk with the committee. Because it can't be good for her to feel out of it, to stay out of it, and then to feel worse because she can't climb over a hurdle that perhaps she's not ready to play.

S got intimidated by the first game she'd played. She's not as good, no, but we were trying to be encouraging, and I think she just felt inferior in skill. Which, sure she's not as good as much of the rest of the team, but she has some solid skills, she just needs to be willing to put them out there.

If she comes back. I'm not sure she will.

This is kind of new, tbh. While we've had players who were intimidated, none of them ended up in tears on the field saying they weren't good enough. Most 'bucked up' and just did their best. Sometimes their best was better, sometimes it wasn't. But they stuck it out.

I wonder if there's a generational thing happening here.

It's been a long time since I was so scared to fail that I froze. At the ripe old age of fifty, I'm well aware that failure is neither the end of the world, or the end of my dignity. However, at the ripe old age of fifty, I also don't remember when I first learned that lesson. Or how much it hurt.

Of the last two newbies, L is doing great. She's got some skills, she's willing to throw herself into it. Solid player, good fit with the club.

M - another new player - is older, and mostly needs the confidence to get in front of her player and take the ball. She hesitates. I don't know if it's age - she's probably got at least 5-10 years on me, and the player who invited her to join our team (my friend J, who I've played hockey with since we were 15) has gone up a grade into A-grade. Which she absolutely deserves and needs to. But it leaves M a little on the out, I think.

That said, M is self-aware, unlike G and S. She knows she has to be bolder, to take initiative. But I think it doesn't come easy to her. But she'll push on, and we're happy with that.

--

I feel like I don't have much else to say that isn't boring.

I'm planting for winter - just planted all my pea seedlings, both the edible and the floral ones. Where I'm going to put them? That's another question.

Our three baby chooks have turned into young ladies, they're funny and flighty and they still really don't like being picked up. We need to start integrating them seriously, but we're having trouble because at least one of them can fly quite well.

The two slices I made yesterday. Plan is to cut them into slices and freeze them for later eating.

Pecan Squares

2 cups flour
½ cup sugar
1/8 tsp salt
200g butter, cut up

1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 cup golden syrup)
125g butter
4 large eggs lightly beaten
2½ cups finely chopped pecans (note: 1 cup finely chopped, 1½ cups whole - I like the pecan chunks)
1 t vanilla extract


Combine flour, sugar, and salt in a large bowl; cut 200g butter thoroughly with pastry blender until mixture resembles fine crumbs. (or blend in food processor until lightly clumpy) Press mixture evenly into a greased 9x13 inch pan, using a piece of plastic wrap to press crumb mixture firmly into pan. Bake at 175C for 30 minutes or until lightly browned.

Combine brown sugar, golden syrup, and 125g butter in a saucepan; bring to boil over medium heat, stirring gently. Remove from heat. Stir 1/4 of hot mixture into beaten eggs [to temper the eggs]; add to remaining hot mixture. Stir in pecans and vanilla. Pour filling over crust. Bake at 175C for 35 minutes or until set. Cool completely in pan or until set. Cut into bars.

--

recipe: dulce du leche blondies

Never tried this one before - the dulce du leche layer wasn't as distinct as I hoped it would be, but I hadn't really done it quite right. However, there was some good encrustation along the edges where the dulce du leche had gone to medium crack.

You know how sometimes you enter a fandom by the fanfic doorway?

That's me these days.

I mean, it was me back 20 years ago reading my way through Mulder/Scully fic in the X-Files fandom, which I hadn't watched since around S2. (The alien 'oil' freaked me out at the end of S2 and I never ended up going back. Horror and suspense are not my oeuvre.)

But I have very fond memories of reading my way through...golly, I can't even remember the fic archive anymore. But there were a number of "Virtual Seasons" and some fics that were very good - full episode types. Some better than others, obviously, but I still carry the gist of them here and there.

Anyway, more recently, I've read a Heated Rivalry fic or two, but my latest 'go through all the fic' obsession is Avatar: the last Airbender but specifically Zutara fic. And since I haven't seen the series all the way through (I watched Book 1 and maybe got a little way into Book 2, but never got to Book 3), then the AU doesn't bother me. Not that AU has ever bothered me when I'm talking about a pairing I like.

For this, I'm mostly blaming Pinterest, which has turned out to be more addictive for me than Tumblr. I go to FB because I want to know what's going on in my 'real life' friends lives; I go to Threads because it keeps me up to date with world events...and educated about the milieu of life beyond my experience. I scroll through Insta for pictures and sometimes 'turntables' of information and crafts and art and oddities.

But Pinterest has turned into my fandom exploration space. Mostly because all the Tumblr theories end up there, but algorithm'd, not just off a friends feed.

And, after a decade of Maria/Steve and maybe 700 fics, about 1/6th of which I either wrote myself or inspired, it's so nice just to wander into a fandom, plonk myself down, and get to read the best of some 8000 fics without having to create anything myself!

It's true that I've belonged to other fandoms with pairings with a decent amount of fic about my favourites (BBC Merlin: Arthur/Gwen had a reasonable amount, and Bridgerton: Kate/Anthony still has its proponents), but this is ~8000 worth of fics where people have extrapolated four seasons (and a lot of tie-in material) of a non-canon relationship and come out with some beautiful results!

I don't read much in the fandoms I write anymore - as I had to say in the 3weeks4dreamwidth friending meme - "specifically [insert female character here]" because so few of thoe fandoms had a focus on the (usually secondary) female character.

It's true that I'm not getting much sleep, cos I'm too busy reading 100,000 word fics. But this? This is fun.

I feel like I haven't had fun in fandom for a while...