So this sticky entry serves the function of a tumblr askbox. Comments are screened (invisible to everyone but me and the person who posted the comment). Let me know if you want your "ask" to be answered privately or publicly. If publicly, I'll make a post and link you to the post in a reply to your comment; if privately, I'll just answer the comment, and my answer will also be screened so only you and I can see it.
(For some reason dropping questions/comments in an askbox feels a lot less... socially intrusive than sending a message. I have absolutely no idea why.)
![[sticky entry]](/makepkg/implementing-https-www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/entry/sticky_entry.png)
Sticky: give me art prompts
Apr. 26th, 2019 11:53 amSo! As so often happens, I am once again trying to practice drawing. I have pencils and a sketchbook. What I would like is PROMPTS. I'm putting this here as Dreamwidth is my most stable platform for linking things, but I'll be signal boosting it on Tumblr and on my current fandom's Discord. Feel free to signal boost anywhere else if you know people who might be interested.
The basics: I'd like fanart prompts for my current fandom, which is the Star Wars Legends X-wing / Rogue Squadron books and comics. Any scene from canon or fic (yours or someone else's), or just a basic prompt. I have a big post of prompts here if you're not feeling inspired.
Where to request: Comment here or on my sticky askbox post, or send me a tumblr ask, or just toss a request at me in the Discord and I'll make a note.
The limitations: Fab Four (Wedge, Tycho, Wes, Hobbie) preferred, now that I have my photo references for all of them sorted out. I'll also try OT Big Three (Luke, Leia, Han), since I know we have some Luke/Wedge shippers in here, but I don't want to get too scattered, so I'll keep it to those seven characters for now. No guarantees on quality or timeframe, but you probably knew that. ;-) This will probably be just pencil sketches for now, I tend to get overwhelmed when I add color media. And I'm gonna say no NSFW for now.
Other notes: Modern AU is fine - pretty much any AU is fine really, I have lots of reference for clothing from all eras and I could use the practice drawing it. Kisses and complicated poses are fine, but keep in mind I never have figured out drawing three-quarter view. On the other hand, I really would prefer requests of a specific scene / moment from a fic or from canon, because then I already have it pictured in my head and I don't have to make as many decisions. (Unpublished / unwritten fic is fine if you can describe the scene or give me a snippet.)
The basics: I'd like fanart prompts for my current fandom, which is the Star Wars Legends X-wing / Rogue Squadron books and comics. Any scene from canon or fic (yours or someone else's), or just a basic prompt. I have a big post of prompts here if you're not feeling inspired.
Where to request: Comment here or on my sticky askbox post, or send me a tumblr ask, or just toss a request at me in the Discord and I'll make a note.
The limitations: Fab Four (Wedge, Tycho, Wes, Hobbie) preferred, now that I have my photo references for all of them sorted out. I'll also try OT Big Three (Luke, Leia, Han), since I know we have some Luke/Wedge shippers in here, but I don't want to get too scattered, so I'll keep it to those seven characters for now. No guarantees on quality or timeframe, but you probably knew that. ;-) This will probably be just pencil sketches for now, I tend to get overwhelmed when I add color media. And I'm gonna say no NSFW for now.
Other notes: Modern AU is fine - pretty much any AU is fine really, I have lots of reference for clothing from all eras and I could use the practice drawing it. Kisses and complicated poses are fine, but keep in mind I never have figured out drawing three-quarter view. On the other hand, I really would prefer requests of a specific scene / moment from a fic or from canon, because then I already have it pictured in my head and I don't have to make as many decisions. (Unpublished / unwritten fic is fine if you can describe the scene or give me a snippet.)
(no subject)
Jul. 9th, 2026 04:53 pmunsatisfactory orthopedist continues unsatisfactory. kept me waiting over an hour past my appointment time, then said the things the MRI shows are totally normal and unrelated to the back pain. also finally got around to calling me fat (told me to "optimize diet"). gave me a referral to the pain management people at the PT office to discuss whether some kind of injection would be an option; had held me so late they were closed so I'm not scheduled there yet. i told him some of the ways he was unsatisfactory and he said the CVS must have blocked the NSAID prescription (lies, i know what the CVS app does and doesn't show) and gave a weasel-words half-apology for saying the PT office would call me.
i have PT tomorrow (i will see if *they* are willing to adapt anything based on the MRI) and the PT front desk lady said i can schedule a pain management consult at that time. orthopedist also said he would prescribe a muscle relaxer for the back pain but i'll believe that when i goddamn see it.
i suppose the next step is to see if i can get back to the orthopedist in the next county over who actually ordered the MRI. that's an hour and a half on two different buses, plus a 0.3-mile hike each way at each end, and i really don't think i can make the trip even with the walker. but the PT is not making things less cronch, nor do i think it will, so... idk. i just fucking want to be abled again.
i have PT tomorrow (i will see if *they* are willing to adapt anything based on the MRI) and the PT front desk lady said i can schedule a pain management consult at that time. orthopedist also said he would prescribe a muscle relaxer for the back pain but i'll believe that when i goddamn see it.
i suppose the next step is to see if i can get back to the orthopedist in the next county over who actually ordered the MRI. that's an hour and a half on two different buses, plus a 0.3-mile hike each way at each end, and i really don't think i can make the trip even with the walker. but the PT is not making things less cronch, nor do i think it will, so... idk. i just fucking want to be abled again.
(no subject)
Jul. 9th, 2026 09:22 amThis afternoon I am scheduled to go see if the unsatisfactory orthopedist will take my MRI any more seriously than he took me without one. I am pondering whether to channel Great-Aunt Bessie Ruth on him; I usually act colloquial and less than expert with doctors to avoid intimidating them, but if he won't respect me anyway, it might be time to bring the terrifying English teacher to bear. (Possibly with a side of admitting I speak fluent medicalese and know how to pronounce "spondylolisthesis" without looking it up. At least I finally have a condition with a fun name instead of just boring shit like "pain" and "depression". ...I may have slightly skewed priorities.)
(no subject)
Jul. 7th, 2026 09:50 ammemed from ![[personal profile]](/makepkg/implementing-https-www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
viridian5: Put your mp3 player/phone/streaming collection on shuffle and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. Post the poem that results.
(I still need to download some of the long-lost musicsovay has tracked down for me, but at least I have my shuffle sorted enough to do a meme like this. I presume I skip instrumentals.)
Running through the shadows of the forest in the full moon
I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen
They say there's a place where dreams have all gone
An old cowpoke went riding out one dark and windy day
If you're looking for a buddy with a hug to share
From the great Atlantic ocean to the wide Pacific shore
She went down last October in the pouring driving rain
Girl don't you every time I see you smilin'
I've been working on the railroad all the livelong day
I thought love was only true in fairytales
I got a mule and her name is Sal
All I really need is a song in my heart
Holy God, we praise Thy name
Theirs is a little house, theirs is
Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee
Well now, ain't this an elegant neighborhood
By yon bonny banks and by yon bonny braes
Ag Críost an síol
Early each day to the steps of St Paul's
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
...well, that makes no sense whatsoever ^_^ I'm kind of startled there's zero Frank Patterson, but otherwise it's a pretty accurate cross section of my music.
( song titles and artists )
viridian5: Put your mp3 player/phone/streaming collection on shuffle and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. Post the poem that results.(I still need to download some of the long-lost music
sovay has tracked down for me, but at least I have my shuffle sorted enough to do a meme like this. I presume I skip instrumentals.)Running through the shadows of the forest in the full moon
I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen
They say there's a place where dreams have all gone
An old cowpoke went riding out one dark and windy day
If you're looking for a buddy with a hug to share
From the great Atlantic ocean to the wide Pacific shore
She went down last October in the pouring driving rain
Girl don't you every time I see you smilin'
I've been working on the railroad all the livelong day
I thought love was only true in fairytales
I got a mule and her name is Sal
All I really need is a song in my heart
Holy God, we praise Thy name
Theirs is a little house, theirs is
Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee
Well now, ain't this an elegant neighborhood
By yon bonny banks and by yon bonny braes
Ag Críost an síol
Early each day to the steps of St Paul's
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
...well, that makes no sense whatsoever ^_^ I'm kind of startled there's zero Frank Patterson, but otherwise it's a pretty accurate cross section of my music.
( song titles and artists )
(no subject)
Jul. 2nd, 2026 01:10 am...what the fuck. what do you *mean* Raffi never covered This Land Is Your Land until 2014 (and then with Canadian lyrics I've certainly never heard). Where did I learn it? Whose cover was on the tape I had growing up? It's certainly not Woody Guthrie, and it was in the style I associate with Raffi, a tenor or baritone with acoustic and children's-choir backing.
Is this some kind of Mandela Effect crap? I mean, I know I'm from an alternate Mandelaverse on at least one well known front, because the (in this universe) Berenstain Bears were literally why I first learned that you pronounce "ei" like long I in German words/names! I object to the Mandela effect on principle, I do not want it to be a thing, it makes no fucking sense, but I literally have a vivid memory of trying to sound out Berenstein -- so spelled -- and being corrected that it was not Berensteen, and that is such a specific false memory to acquire that I can't explain another way. But growing up with Raffi songs that don't exist is even weirder.
Is this some kind of Mandela Effect crap? I mean, I know I'm from an alternate Mandelaverse on at least one well known front, because the (in this universe) Berenstain Bears were literally why I first learned that you pronounce "ei" like long I in German words/names! I object to the Mandela effect on principle, I do not want it to be a thing, it makes no fucking sense, but I literally have a vivid memory of trying to sound out Berenstein -- so spelled -- and being corrected that it was not Berensteen, and that is such a specific false memory to acquire that I can't explain another way. But growing up with Raffi songs that don't exist is even weirder.
(no subject)
Jun. 26th, 2026 02:11 pmgot insulin! unfortunately also reminded myself i have music. well, unfortunate because i made a playlist and sang along while i walked. which they say is good for your cardio or something. but it put my heart rate up to 177 and i think if my math is right 180ish is the "do not exceed this" for my age range so that's a little concerning (my "do not sustain this" is 155ish but i hit 160 just by walking silently so idek man)
did i mention the cardiologist cancelled because they decided on the third visit that they hadn't taken my insurance. no i haven't found another cardiologist i've been busy fighting with the endocrinologist. still don't have any more continuous glucose monitors cause he hasn't done the prior auth. i'm so gonna wind up fundraising for test strips at $25/70 (and i need like 7-8 a day and medicaid only covers 3 a day)
anyway i might be too wiped to do anything about more music. might go watch a hockey game from 2011 or something, i found a stanley cup series on youtube where both teams have players i'm interested in
( hockey rambling )
(i don't have a hockey icon, do i.)
did i mention the cardiologist cancelled because they decided on the third visit that they hadn't taken my insurance. no i haven't found another cardiologist i've been busy fighting with the endocrinologist. still don't have any more continuous glucose monitors cause he hasn't done the prior auth. i'm so gonna wind up fundraising for test strips at $25/70 (and i need like 7-8 a day and medicaid only covers 3 a day)
anyway i might be too wiped to do anything about more music. might go watch a hockey game from 2011 or something, i found a stanley cup series on youtube where both teams have players i'm interested in
( hockey rambling )
(i don't have a hockey icon, do i.)
(no subject)
Jun. 26th, 2026 12:28 ami went and messaged the pharmacy, who explained what was wrong with the prescription (the doctor wrote only "use as directed" but did not put the actual dosage on file anywhere in the system, and insurance understandably said we can't cover a medicine with no dosage at all), and then i got a same-day telemed appointment with my PCP who wrote me a bridge for it, and then i went and crunched numbers about a lot of hockey stats by way of avoiding looking for a new endocrinologist because it is evident to me that i desperately need one. specifically one whose office will not re-send the same dosageless prescription three times when the CVS asks them to add a dosage.
anyway point is i didn't do anything about music. i really want this to just be over. eighty hours or something left, right? let's see.
( Read more... )
And that is the end of the letter F! Under seventy hours left to go, and I knocked out the last three in two hours. That's progress, anyway.
anyway point is i didn't do anything about music. i really want this to just be over. eighty hours or something left, right? let's see.
( Read more... )
And that is the end of the letter F! Under seventy hours left to go, and I knocked out the last three in two hours. That's progress, anyway.
music and more music
Jun. 25th, 2026 08:57 amokay, let's get after this, it's going to take some sustained effort and i have almost no commitments the next three days. is sprinting it wise? no. is it how my brain functions? yes.
(i did go through the rest of my previous notes last night and deleted a bunch of stuff that i remembered definitely not wanting, so now i'm under 86 hours of total music left, wheeeee)
( Read more... )
And I forgot to eat breakfast and my insulin is still inventing new and exciting ways to not be ready for pickup at the pharmacy -- it's been over a week and I have one more partial dose -- so I might call it here and go scream or something. I guess mathematically we're just under 80 hours of music left to review, right? :P
(i did go through the rest of my previous notes last night and deleted a bunch of stuff that i remembered definitely not wanting, so now i'm under 86 hours of total music left, wheeeee)
( Read more... )
And I forgot to eat breakfast and my insulin is still inventing new and exciting ways to not be ready for pickup at the pharmacy -- it's been over a week and I have one more partial dose -- so I might call it here and go scream or something. I guess mathematically we're just under 80 hours of music left to review, right? :P
(no subject)
Jun. 24th, 2026 05:53 pmso! music! this week i went through my music folder, having noticed it was 23GB and i knew i didn't have that much music so a lot of it had to be duplicates. now it is just under 11GB. (i'm pondering sharing it for friends as a zipfile but i only have about 4GB free on my gdrive so it would have to be a limited time arrangement unless i can delete a *lot* of shit out of my google photos.)
my friend kat has lost her music collection to some backup fuckery, which has made me even less willing to actually delete anything unique off my computer, but i'm so sick and tired of having my phone full of stuff that does not spark joy, so i'm going to be much more ruthless about deleting things off here.
i also discovered, i forget if i said here, that my VLC deleting songs did not delete them permanently; they respawned from the SD card. but i have now figured out how to go into my files and delete them off the SD card directly. so now i gotta review the decisions i made before, see what i agree with, and do a bunch of deleting.
(i already left out some stuff i knew i hadn't enjoyed, like most of the dar williams -- i think there are a couple songs i do want to re-add -- the howard shore, the assassins soundtrack, and so forth. but there's a lot more i just didn't remember about. i'm trying to give things a chance in case i find something new that i like enough to put it on shuffle.)
i need to re-listen to a bunch from the early part of the alphabet and see what i think now that some time has passed, too. at least it's down to a 90-hour playlist.
( Read more... )
I think I have run out of steam for tonight, but I'm under 88 hours of total music and 3:20 of that is keepers at least for now? That's not too bad.
my friend kat has lost her music collection to some backup fuckery, which has made me even less willing to actually delete anything unique off my computer, but i'm so sick and tired of having my phone full of stuff that does not spark joy, so i'm going to be much more ruthless about deleting things off here.
i also discovered, i forget if i said here, that my VLC deleting songs did not delete them permanently; they respawned from the SD card. but i have now figured out how to go into my files and delete them off the SD card directly. so now i gotta review the decisions i made before, see what i agree with, and do a bunch of deleting.
(i already left out some stuff i knew i hadn't enjoyed, like most of the dar williams -- i think there are a couple songs i do want to re-add -- the howard shore, the assassins soundtrack, and so forth. but there's a lot more i just didn't remember about. i'm trying to give things a chance in case i find something new that i like enough to put it on shuffle.)
i need to re-listen to a bunch from the early part of the alphabet and see what i think now that some time has passed, too. at least it's down to a 90-hour playlist.
( Read more... )
I think I have run out of steam for tonight, but I'm under 88 hours of total music and 3:20 of that is keepers at least for now? That's not too bad.
(no subject)
Jun. 23rd, 2026 08:22 pmI am having a rough goddamn day. My cardiologist somehow turns out not to take my insurance, but they didn't find that out the first two times I was there? My endocrinologist is completely uncontactable and I'm about to run out of one of my insulins, uh, tomorrow (and the needles soon after, and I still don't have the prior auth for my new CGMs). My MRI got rescheduled because the insurance authorization process went slower than anticipated. The only streamer I watch live regularly had to postpone stream for tech issues. The free mahjong app I've played for over ten years decided to add microtransactions. Also I've had like four hours of sleep because I was fretting about what to say to the cardiologist.
Uh. Good things that happened today, I guess?
* A nice gentleman saw me walking home from the bus stop in the pouring rain and gave me his spare umbrella. I actually own an umbrella, I just hadn't brought it because it seemed incompatible with the walker, but it turns out I can sort of hold the umbrella handle with my shoulder like a telephone handset, at least for short distances.
* The rescheduled MRI is for the same date and location as my mammogram, so less travel (assuming I neither run late to the mammogram nor destroy my back sitting around between procedures if I'm early).
* I managed to take a bath and my hair turned out pretty cute (this is not guaranteed because it's apparently supposed to be curly and I was never properly taught how to care for it). The CPAP mask is gonna mess it up as soon as I go to bed though.
* The walker now has four wheels and I am (relatively) zooming. Well, 1.2mph, which is not as fast as I used to walk, and my shoulders get sore super fast from supporting a large portion of my body weight, but I'm overall way less sore and exhausted than I was from the same trip with no walker. I am not sure how it will behave on steep hills but I'm sure I will eventually find out.
* I did manage to mail back the second of two faulty CGMs (there's a FedEx dropbox outside the cardiology department at the hospital) and the fourth total CGM has not yet become faulty, although it did seem to be considering it this morning.
Uh. Good things that happened today, I guess?
* A nice gentleman saw me walking home from the bus stop in the pouring rain and gave me his spare umbrella. I actually own an umbrella, I just hadn't brought it because it seemed incompatible with the walker, but it turns out I can sort of hold the umbrella handle with my shoulder like a telephone handset, at least for short distances.
* The rescheduled MRI is for the same date and location as my mammogram, so less travel (assuming I neither run late to the mammogram nor destroy my back sitting around between procedures if I'm early).
* I managed to take a bath and my hair turned out pretty cute (this is not guaranteed because it's apparently supposed to be curly and I was never properly taught how to care for it). The CPAP mask is gonna mess it up as soon as I go to bed though.
* The walker now has four wheels and I am (relatively) zooming. Well, 1.2mph, which is not as fast as I used to walk, and my shoulders get sore super fast from supporting a large portion of my body weight, but I'm overall way less sore and exhausted than I was from the same trip with no walker. I am not sure how it will behave on steep hills but I'm sure I will eventually find out.
* I did manage to mail back the second of two faulty CGMs (there's a FedEx dropbox outside the cardiology department at the hospital) and the fourth total CGM has not yet become faulty, although it did seem to be considering it this morning.
(no subject)
Jun. 11th, 2026 09:04 pmi woke up the day after going somewhere and wanted to go for a walk!!! i did not go for a walk because the plastic caps on the back legs of the walker have worn right through to the metal and i want to find out if i can scrounge a pair of back-leg wheels from a disused walker that a friend may or may not be able to find. (if not, i can order a pair off amazon, but $15 plus shipping is a little steep for my pocketbook if i can manage a free solution.) but the point is! my back! is not achy! i mean it still becomes painful as soon as i try to stand up for a few minutes by myself without the walker, but i can Go To Places! and not become dead for 3-4 business days!
(can i go to places where i have to sit up? unknown. i did spend forty minutes at the gynecologist's office lying down at a convenient angle with a pillow under my back while i waited for the gynecologist to show up. i suspect something like knitting group or computer class would be a lot more difficult. but at minimum this means i can actually *get* to physical therapy, which is a start)
(can i go to places where i have to sit up? unknown. i did spend forty minutes at the gynecologist's office lying down at a convenient angle with a pillow under my back while i waited for the gynecologist to show up. i suspect something like knitting group or computer class would be a lot more difficult. but at minimum this means i can actually *get* to physical therapy, which is a start)
(no subject)
Jun. 10th, 2026 06:03 pmcase manager procured me a walker! travel significantly better even with having to sit sideways on the bus. now ordering a pool noodle to cut up and put on the handlebars as the grips are the least ergonomic thing ever to erg, i was having to stop every half a block and shake the circulation back into my hands (because i have to put quite a lot of my body weight onto the walker to keep the back pain from happening).
also seeing if i can potentially cannibalize more wheels from a friend's deceased relative's disused walker as the plastic caps on the back legs are gonna wear out fast with dragging over sidewalks everywhere, and i feel like the customary tennis balls will just get muddy
still super fatigued but i might not be out for the next 3-4 business days like usual
also seeing if i can potentially cannibalize more wheels from a friend's deceased relative's disused walker as the plastic caps on the back legs are gonna wear out fast with dragging over sidewalks everywhere, and i feel like the customary tennis balls will just get muddy
still super fatigued but i might not be out for the next 3-4 business days like usual
(no subject)
Jun. 4th, 2026 03:08 pmmy options for seeking further relief from my back pain are currently:
1: suffer through twice-weekly sessions of PT at a 40-minute one-way bus trip for six weeks, then when it fails to help, follow up with the orthopedist who referred me there (based on normal X-rays, zero soft tissue imaging, and literally thirty seconds of hands-on examination which mainly revealed he didn't believe anything I said about where the pain was) and ordered me not to schedule a followup with him until after the PT and then only if it didn't fix me; who also promised to prescribe me an NSAID that's supposedly safer than taking prescription amounts of ibuprofen longterm and then didn't even prescribe it (and I shouldn't take it if he had because it's contraindicated by my heart condition); who furthermore stated that he absolutely refuses to consider any kind of brace or mobility aid because my muscles are just weak; and who tried to pawn me off on my hypothetical chiropractor before realizing he would have to do one (1) work to get me out of his office and providing the PT referral; and who did not even offer to write me a note that I have back pain and need a transportation benefit, because if I could drag myself two miles to the PCP the day before for possible MRSA and a mile to his office that day because I was desperate to get my back fixed, I clearly have full mobility and I'm just drug-seeking (I did not get to peek at his notes but if the best pain relief you can offer someone who's 95% bed-bound is a contraindicated NSAID, you gotta really be tying yourself in knots not to offer anything that An Homeless could get money for on the street. I told you I lost my job and housing to this issue and was homeless for three years to emphasize how debilitating the pain was, asshat, not so you could write me off!)
2: schedule with a back pain specialist in the next county, an hour and a half bus trip each way
3: schedule with a different specialist in the next county, two hours away by train and bus
By the time the PT ends it'll be halfway through July. I lose my food stamps in July. I'm no closer to being able to work, let alone actually finding work. I am seriously going to die of what I suspect is complications from having a chiropractor instead of a real doctor treat a possibly-torn ligament in my ass twenty years ago (I did not choose my medical treatments at that time, you understand), or else it's the untreated hip dysplasia, or perhaps the undiagnosed weird bulge in my abdominal muscles that developed around the time my back pain got really debilitating, and for which my PCP at that time refused imaging because it was "probably just a hernia" and she didn't care unless it got infected
or in brief, die of the lack of medical treatment and resultant lack of food, because that's cheaper and easier than pretending An Homeless can have any actual medical issue
1: suffer through twice-weekly sessions of PT at a 40-minute one-way bus trip for six weeks, then when it fails to help, follow up with the orthopedist who referred me there (based on normal X-rays, zero soft tissue imaging, and literally thirty seconds of hands-on examination which mainly revealed he didn't believe anything I said about where the pain was) and ordered me not to schedule a followup with him until after the PT and then only if it didn't fix me; who also promised to prescribe me an NSAID that's supposedly safer than taking prescription amounts of ibuprofen longterm and then didn't even prescribe it (and I shouldn't take it if he had because it's contraindicated by my heart condition); who furthermore stated that he absolutely refuses to consider any kind of brace or mobility aid because my muscles are just weak; and who tried to pawn me off on my hypothetical chiropractor before realizing he would have to do one (1) work to get me out of his office and providing the PT referral; and who did not even offer to write me a note that I have back pain and need a transportation benefit, because if I could drag myself two miles to the PCP the day before for possible MRSA and a mile to his office that day because I was desperate to get my back fixed, I clearly have full mobility and I'm just drug-seeking (I did not get to peek at his notes but if the best pain relief you can offer someone who's 95% bed-bound is a contraindicated NSAID, you gotta really be tying yourself in knots not to offer anything that An Homeless could get money for on the street. I told you I lost my job and housing to this issue and was homeless for three years to emphasize how debilitating the pain was, asshat, not so you could write me off!)
2: schedule with a back pain specialist in the next county, an hour and a half bus trip each way
3: schedule with a different specialist in the next county, two hours away by train and bus
By the time the PT ends it'll be halfway through July. I lose my food stamps in July. I'm no closer to being able to work, let alone actually finding work. I am seriously going to die of what I suspect is complications from having a chiropractor instead of a real doctor treat a possibly-torn ligament in my ass twenty years ago (I did not choose my medical treatments at that time, you understand), or else it's the untreated hip dysplasia, or perhaps the undiagnosed weird bulge in my abdominal muscles that developed around the time my back pain got really debilitating, and for which my PCP at that time refused imaging because it was "probably just a hernia" and she didn't care unless it got infected
or in brief, die of the lack of medical treatment and resultant lack of food, because that's cheaper and easier than pretending An Homeless can have any actual medical issue
(no subject)
Jun. 3rd, 2026 09:42 pmwell. shit. deleting songs from vlc on my phone doesn't... work. they just re-add themselves back, it doesn't delete the files.
thank fuck i was writing my thoughts down on here. still annoying. it's really hard to use the laptop in any position that doesn't give me serious back pain. but i guess at least when i do pull out the laptop i'll be able to do the whole process with renaming stuff so i don't have e.g. "45 Years" and "Forty Five Years" both by stan rogers off the same album.
still cranky though. i just wanted to quickly put together a playlist to mop the bathroom by. because the main soilstack decided it was sewage backup time last night, and by the time a plumber could be summoned this noon, everything inside the bathroom was covered in a fine layer of sludgey water.
i don't generally mop. i can't stand up long enough. but nobody else is going to clean this bathroom
thank fuck i was writing my thoughts down on here. still annoying. it's really hard to use the laptop in any position that doesn't give me serious back pain. but i guess at least when i do pull out the laptop i'll be able to do the whole process with renaming stuff so i don't have e.g. "45 Years" and "Forty Five Years" both by stan rogers off the same album.
still cranky though. i just wanted to quickly put together a playlist to mop the bathroom by. because the main soilstack decided it was sewage backup time last night, and by the time a plumber could be summoned this noon, everything inside the bathroom was covered in a fine layer of sludgey water.
i don't generally mop. i can't stand up long enough. but nobody else is going to clean this bathroom
(no subject)
May. 31st, 2026 12:31 ami finished watching batman the animated series on amazon prime. excellent show. i started rewatching superman but kept getting distracted because the voice talent (other than clancy brown) just isn't quite as top tier as the other shows. then i found justice league unlimited on tubi; i'm pretty sure i've never seen all of it, have probably seen some of it, and remember almost none of it.
i'm five episodes in and starting to see why i don't remember any of them. first, of course, is the reason i never picked up the jlu dvds: j'onn gets demoted from team member to mission control, aka the guy who gets maybe two lines every few episodes telling someone not to fly off the handle right before they inevitably fly off the handle. waste of a great voice actor. second, i don't like the artstyle change: they lost the line weighting and much of the hyper-stylization that made the timmverse look good, and the scenes are much harder to visually read now. third, the writing... maybe i'm just being influenced by nostalgia but it feels a lot worse than previous installments? like i said, five episodes, and there's been (not in this order) one pretty fun one, one major stinker, one straight retelling of a comics story that did a perfectly cromulent job, one just boring one, and one where the only redeeming quality was kevin conroy. admittedly it did feature him singing very beautifully in character as batman for Reasons, which is a hell of a redeeming quality, but it also had b'wana beast so on the whole i think it is still heavier than the feather of ma'at.
(...i may be on a blood sugar rollercoaster and not entirely in control of my metaphors. anyway.)
point is. there's three seasons. i have been livebageling the episodes over on tumblr if y'all are interested. i am not sure how far i will continue. jl:tas didn't have any really good episodes in its first season, so i feel like i don't want to be too much harsher on its continuation, but it had a *lot* more carl lumbly and kevin conroy to keep me listening.
look we all knew i had a voice kink okay next question
i'm five episodes in and starting to see why i don't remember any of them. first, of course, is the reason i never picked up the jlu dvds: j'onn gets demoted from team member to mission control, aka the guy who gets maybe two lines every few episodes telling someone not to fly off the handle right before they inevitably fly off the handle. waste of a great voice actor. second, i don't like the artstyle change: they lost the line weighting and much of the hyper-stylization that made the timmverse look good, and the scenes are much harder to visually read now. third, the writing... maybe i'm just being influenced by nostalgia but it feels a lot worse than previous installments? like i said, five episodes, and there's been (not in this order) one pretty fun one, one major stinker, one straight retelling of a comics story that did a perfectly cromulent job, one just boring one, and one where the only redeeming quality was kevin conroy. admittedly it did feature him singing very beautifully in character as batman for Reasons, which is a hell of a redeeming quality, but it also had b'wana beast so on the whole i think it is still heavier than the feather of ma'at.
(...i may be on a blood sugar rollercoaster and not entirely in control of my metaphors. anyway.)
point is. there's three seasons. i have been livebageling the episodes over on tumblr if y'all are interested. i am not sure how far i will continue. jl:tas didn't have any really good episodes in its first season, so i feel like i don't want to be too much harsher on its continuation, but it had a *lot* more carl lumbly and kevin conroy to keep me listening.
(no subject)
May. 27th, 2026 05:56 pmand then my second CGM fell off yesterday not eight hours after i put it on -- i snagged it slightly on a pillowcase, not having realized that the only reason the first one stayed on for the full duration is apparently that the lady at the hospital taped it on for me with one of those little clear patches they put over an IV so it doesn't fall out -- and you can't reapply them so i am now two weeks short on my planned blood sugar test supplies to get all the way to my endocrinologist appointment in three more weeks. i have enough test strips for nine more days *if* i test only before meals (and if i eat three meals a day which let me tell you internets is not helping the anorexia at all), the insurance continues to deny my prior auths to force me to use the recalled test strips and presumably die of the error by way of proving they won't work for me, i was able to get an approval from the CGM manufacturer for a replacement but it'll take three to five business days to arrive... i meant to get a telemed appointment with my doctor today to see if she can prescribe me another CGM also (she expects the insurance to fight it which is why she hasn't prescribed it already, so i was waiting to see if i'd hear anything about the test strips first), but i was so stressed from freaking out about the CGM yesterday that i didn't get to sleep till 6am, so i rescheduled my pap smear and then slept all day...
the only good thing going on right now is that the us postal service, thank fuck, does at-home pickup on packages with prepaid mailing labels. which means i was able to schedule a pickup to mail back my heart monitor sticky instead of having to hike a mile to the mailbox. also i have the heart monitor off now so i can take a bath. have i taken a bath? no, because i'm zonked. but i can.
(i did also order a box of those sticky patches so i can tape future CGMs on properly. since apparently that's something i have to do now. and a box of ketone test strips because without the CGM i find myself getting very nervous that i'm coming down with the ketoacidosis again. and a usb dvd player because fuck it, it was half off and had reasonably good reviews and i still have my free amazon prime going, and my current dvd player is ten years old and has been starting to overheat after like four hours of marathoning tv episodes, and inexplicably having the right menu button quit working intermittently as well, which given that it's one of the few things i can do flat on my back is simply not helpful. the dvd player isn't interfering with the batman rewatch because that's on prime video, but once i get to superman i'll need a reliable dvd player. here's hoping this one works because i really can't swing the $40 for a brand-name.)
(also my current dvd player is one of the ones with its own built-in screen that does nothing else, and while i wouldn't be jumping to replace it if it was just overheating -- i can be a little patient -- i'm pretty worried about the button issue. the last two times i had device buttons / touchscreen areas quit working randomly in association with overheating, it was battery swelling issues, and i don't fuck around with the spicy pillows. and this device doesn't have any kind of battery door where i can check on it directly.)
the only good thing going on right now is that the us postal service, thank fuck, does at-home pickup on packages with prepaid mailing labels. which means i was able to schedule a pickup to mail back my heart monitor sticky instead of having to hike a mile to the mailbox. also i have the heart monitor off now so i can take a bath. have i taken a bath? no, because i'm zonked. but i can.
(i did also order a box of those sticky patches so i can tape future CGMs on properly. since apparently that's something i have to do now. and a box of ketone test strips because without the CGM i find myself getting very nervous that i'm coming down with the ketoacidosis again. and a usb dvd player because fuck it, it was half off and had reasonably good reviews and i still have my free amazon prime going, and my current dvd player is ten years old and has been starting to overheat after like four hours of marathoning tv episodes, and inexplicably having the right menu button quit working intermittently as well, which given that it's one of the few things i can do flat on my back is simply not helpful. the dvd player isn't interfering with the batman rewatch because that's on prime video, but once i get to superman i'll need a reliable dvd player. here's hoping this one works because i really can't swing the $40 for a brand-name.)
(also my current dvd player is one of the ones with its own built-in screen that does nothing else, and while i wouldn't be jumping to replace it if it was just overheating -- i can be a little patient -- i'm pretty worried about the button issue. the last two times i had device buttons / touchscreen areas quit working randomly in association with overheating, it was battery swelling issues, and i don't fuck around with the spicy pillows. and this device doesn't have any kind of battery door where i can check on it directly.)
(no subject)
May. 23rd, 2026 12:54 amhave gotten in touch with the pcp. apparently my insurance is denying the prior auths that have been filed, because the recall for their preferred brand of test strip and meter is not properly in some system or other, i have to assume due to how the regime has gutted the fda to line its pockets. i know the recall is on the fda website itself because i have gone and looked at it there, but obviously one cannot expect an insurance company to look at a website, they're too busy denying every possible sort of care in case somebody might be too sick to fight it.
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(no subject)
May. 19th, 2026 10:07 pmstill alive. have had to stop doing finger sticks to double-check my blood sugar because my pcp's office does not appear to understand the concept of a prior auth and i only have enough test strips left to cover the week i expect to be without a cgm before my endocrinologist appointment since i do not expect the pcp to be able to get me a cgm if they can't even get me test strips. also i'm having to reuse insulin needles both because medicaid will only cover 100 a month (which you may notice is less than the 120 a month needed to do four daily injections each with a fresh sterile needle) and because i also don't expect to get another box of needles prescribed until i, again, see the endocrinologist in mid june.
i forget if i mentioned i'm fiddling with titrating up my insulin so i'm not stuck in the 250 range (on the blood sugar scale where a non-diabetic is ideally between 70 and 120, i can never remember which units that one is) for the next month. so far i have managed to get my blood sugar to hover around 220 instead of 250 most of the day, and i just managed to have a post-meal sugar not hit the alarm for 250+, so i think i'm making progress. i really really want to have something mathematically solid figured out in the next three weeks before i run out of CGMs, because i am *not* willing to play this kind of guessing game with my blood sugar when i'm limited to four finger sticks a day.
there has been a weather system sitting on my head the past couple days which is unhelpful for doing anything but lying around feeling vaguely migrainey, since i get both light sensitivity and sound sensitivity with my pressure migraines. (technically they aren't diagnosed as migraines but i think i have at least half a dozen more specialists to sort shit out with before i get around to figuring out what species of doctor you ask about migraines.)
i forget if i mentioned i'm fiddling with titrating up my insulin so i'm not stuck in the 250 range (on the blood sugar scale where a non-diabetic is ideally between 70 and 120, i can never remember which units that one is) for the next month. so far i have managed to get my blood sugar to hover around 220 instead of 250 most of the day, and i just managed to have a post-meal sugar not hit the alarm for 250+, so i think i'm making progress. i really really want to have something mathematically solid figured out in the next three weeks before i run out of CGMs, because i am *not* willing to play this kind of guessing game with my blood sugar when i'm limited to four finger sticks a day.
there has been a weather system sitting on my head the past couple days which is unhelpful for doing anything but lying around feeling vaguely migrainey, since i get both light sensitivity and sound sensitivity with my pressure migraines. (technically they aren't diagnosed as migraines but i think i have at least half a dozen more specialists to sort shit out with before i get around to figuring out what species of doctor you ask about migraines.)
(no subject)
May. 14th, 2026 07:33 pmnot dead. arm infection still very painful and concerning. do not think i am physically capable of traveling anywhere till monday though when the course of antibiotics is set to finish anyway so i am planning to wait till then unless it explodes or does something really alarming (more alarming than its current slowish spread over my forearm, like turning non-pink colors or reaching above my elbow). at that point if it is not cleared up i am leaning towards "take it to urgent care" with a secondary option of "take it back to the ER" depending on whether it has improved at all under the antibiotics.
blood sugar continues to run high despite me reducing my carbs (on the advice of the hospital's diabetic educator who is following up with me) and meticulously following the insulin dosage instructions, except for last night when i panicked myself with an accidental dose of 7 units instead of 3 and somehow still did not dip below 200. (i did arrange with a local friend to call a welfare check if i became nonresponsive, because i know how often leia has nearly died from brittle lows, and she stays conscious if not coherent much lower than a normal human would. my favorite freak of nature. i do not fuck around with low blood sugar.)
am wearing a cardiac monitor patch to check on my tachycardia. it does not like how much i sweat and keeps trying to come off. hopefully it can get some useful results.
just did the math and realized my cpap mask is probably approaching 18 months of nightly use. including the parts that are designed to be replaced every three months. it is a fucking miracle every day i wake up and it hasn't exploded yet. i asked my insurance for a list of pulmonologists before but it doesn't look useful so i need to call them tomorrow and ask for sleep clinics instead. i have a list of other medical followup shit that's approaching two dozen line items. why are bodies.
blood sugar continues to run high despite me reducing my carbs (on the advice of the hospital's diabetic educator who is following up with me) and meticulously following the insulin dosage instructions, except for last night when i panicked myself with an accidental dose of 7 units instead of 3 and somehow still did not dip below 200. (i did arrange with a local friend to call a welfare check if i became nonresponsive, because i know how often leia has nearly died from brittle lows, and she stays conscious if not coherent much lower than a normal human would. my favorite freak of nature. i do not fuck around with low blood sugar.)
am wearing a cardiac monitor patch to check on my tachycardia. it does not like how much i sweat and keeps trying to come off. hopefully it can get some useful results.
just did the math and realized my cpap mask is probably approaching 18 months of nightly use. including the parts that are designed to be replaced every three months. it is a fucking miracle every day i wake up and it hasn't exploded yet. i asked my insurance for a list of pulmonologists before but it doesn't look useful so i need to call them tomorrow and ask for sleep clinics instead. i have a list of other medical followup shit that's approaching two dozen line items. why are bodies.
