Welcome to my world.  It is a world of sexy boys, and angst and tears and giggles. I never really meant to get this into fanfiction, or Torchwood, or even Doctor Who. Of course, it obviously happened, and I can't say that I'm at all sorry. Through this Universe (Who-niverse?) I've met some of the most wonderful people in the world, challenged myself and found that I can do this. 
For that, I thank you all. 

Rwy'n dy garu. All of you. 

(my Welsh is not very good. Im working on it. :) (to be fair, my English could use some work too)

None of these characters belong to me. I just borrow them. Jack and Ianto do, however, belong to each other, I don't give a good god damn what RTD and the BBC and anybody else who tries to say otherwise says. 
I tend to abuse Ianto pretty severely, I do however tend to give him chocolate and sex in return. :)


One shots... 

( *poke*Collapse ).




Left Behind trio... soon to be, at least.
Left Behind - more vent!fic.  ... Jack leaves with the Doctor.
I Came Back For You - Ianto's reaction to Jack's return.
Part 3 ...as yet unnamed and only half written... 

Lady's Chronicles
Lady of the Hub - Myfanwy makes observations about her friends.
Lady's Chronicles -  Myfanwy and Ianto talk 


Ramblings... (this is what happens when I stay up too late)
Rambling Thoughts of a Tired Welshman - Oh Ianto... its so fun to mess with your head.
Rambling Thoughts of a Chilled Welshman - the bed is cold...  Ianto's missing his heater.
Rambling Thoughts of a Neurotic Welshman -  We all know that he's OCD. This is just proof
Rambling Thoughts of a Wet Welshman - Ianto is not thinking about how Jack is not there. 
Rambling Thoughts of a Lost Welshman - ...something is missing from Ianto's life. 

I'm back!  Hi to all of my lovely people...  Not sure who is still here, who still reads... but I needed to visit. :D How is everyone?  Happy Birthday to all of the people I've missed over the past year. thank you for the gifts. i've not forgotten a one of you, and i mis syou all. 

a proper update will happen later. <3 to all of you. 

so i'm gonna do my once every several month post here....  First to say Happy Birthday to Kiwi (sorry i missed it, love) and all the other people who have February birthdays. 
Secondly to thank xrai_namere and evalentine9 for the hearts....  you guys are awesome. 

I guess an update is in order. School's going pretty awesome, though Art History is a pain in the arse. 
I started training for roller derby. I believe that it is the thing that shall save my life.   Derby is amazing, and i thank every diety that there is that i found it and the people who are involved in it. 
You see.... Josh and I broke up.  and I know last time i was here, i was talking about doing this.....   I had a few months of considering it... and I had decided that we needed to fix things. That 8 years was just not enough to throw away. I realized that I love him more than anything and that all of the bullshit that we went through just didn't matter.  Unfortunately, he had done a lot of considering also, and had decided that he didn't want to stay together. 
Now i feel like my heart is shattering in my chest. My world feels like its ending. I still live with him for the time, since we're on a lease...  and we're still friends.  still very close. Friendship was never the issue...  I wake up every morning with him still holding onto me. And then we spend the rest of the day and all i can think about is how i'm not a part of his life anymore. Or at least not an important part.  And it is killing me.   Its killing me because I fucked up. I wish i could go back and fix everything that i did to make this wrong. I have tried to come back here so much...  but its so hard cause I'm reading all of these lovey stories between my boys and it makes me think fo what i dont have anymore. And won't anymore. its true that you don't know what you've got till its gone. i've fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me. 
 *sighs*   i just don't know what to do ... i feel so fucking helpless without him. so sad it feels like i'm just going to shatter. I dont sleep anymore cause i just cry all night. 

i'm sorry to come in here and rant. i need a good occasion to happen so i can come in here and be happy. 

i can show off the picture of my TARDIS corset...  got it at Templecon, the steampunk con in Providence, RI. So thats a good thing. 

i'm going to start making small forays back into this world... but its gonna take a bit. i miss you guys and love you guys and wish that i could go back to how things used to be. 

So.. I live and stuff. Not a zombie.... at least, not really. :D  Those of you who know me in really real life know that everything has been a jumble of timey whimey-ness and issues, so I've been away for awhile. I'm not really officially "back"  but I am checking in, here and there. 

For those who care, this is whats been going on. Josh got home about 2 months ago...  and while this is a great thing....  life's been pretty rocky.   I guess feelings change when someone is away for so long, and now I'm not fully sure that I'm where I want to be in my relationship with him. So I'm working through that....  breaking up is hard to do.  and when i say that, I don't just mean that it sucks. (which it does)  but its hard to do, as he doesn't seem to think that we're in the process of doing so. He got amnesia about 2 hours after we had the "should we stay together" conversation.. and I'm too much of a wuss to have the conversation again. cause it was the hardest thing I've ever done.  So its weird. *shrug*    but i'm workign through it. 

I went back to school, I'm at a local college taking art classes.  Finally, I can live out my dream of being an art student.  My major is photography, and thats the other thing eating my life. I have 8 hours of class per week, with about 4.5 hours of homework or more per class.  its awesome though, cause my homework is things like, draw for 3 hours. or go and take a bunch of pictures, then photoshop them in this particular manner. :D  <3

Regarding Doctor Who.... OMGI"MINLOVE.  So much so that I'm dreaming about it.   I am absolutely head over heels for Matt Smith. He has become my Doctor (sorry Tennant, I stil love you!)    The season finale... OMG that finale. I want more, right now. so awesome. and so pretty. :D 

In other news...   i'm not sure there is much other news.  Just wanted to check in and say hello to you wonderful people that I miss so much. 

 Wow. I haven't been here in about a bazillion years. 
And for that I'm rediculously sorry... Life has been kicking my ass 7 ways from Sunday and I just don't have the time to read or write anything lately.  Or the drive, to be honest.   Its not you, its me. Seriously though... I just ... I can't handle things at the moment. I'm having crisises like mad, and my crazy work schedule isn't helping.
For those of you who don't know, which is probably most, I'm now manager of my Dunkins... and i have like no employees. I have 3 in a store that needs at least 5 to function, so I have been picking up all the slack. Which means about 70 hours a week, and it starts every day at 4 am. so.. yeah. no energy and no drive. 

There are other problems as well, suffice it to say.  My life is in shambles at the moment. But...  yeah. we'll just leave it at that. 

That all said. I need to thank xrai_namere  and usakiwigirl  for their kisses and their thoughts.  Dear gods do I miss you guys. So freaking much. I just ...  can't right now. I have 47 stories started and I just can't finish any of them. sadly. 

Love you guys and sorry its been 987 years since I've even been around. 

So. I did this here meme. I got it from quality_rachni  about 3 months ago. It's long, I warn you. fun though. :D so read at your own risk.


( OMG words. Collapse )n.

Hey there. So yes. I know I really suck at being around. Really, its not you, its me. Well, sorta.  Life has been kicking my ass hardcore lately. Both physically and emotionally... I just haven't had time to do much. 

I did need to say a big huge thank you to xrai_namere  for the jellybeans. They were delicious and now I am sugar high.  love you darlin and we need to hang out again soon. 

Also, its been so so nice outside. 

no real excuses though. I just wanted to pop in and say I love you all and don't forget me! 

 So I stole a meme from sariagray .  Like I do. By 'stole a meme' I mean I asked her for words that reminded her of me. :D  Oh, Saria, you silly person who knows me so well. 

Holy crap. this took me like a week to get through.  Who knew that thinking about this would take so long?? Damn. lol. 
Also, the same applies. You want words?  Ask for em. 

( CarCollapse )


( TorchwoodCollapse )( boys. Collapse )

I stoled this from xrai_namere.  Cause i needed something to keep me awake. cause I have work in 6 hours... and naturally, why would i sleep? *sighs*  
Also, I'm exhausted to the point of rediculousness... so i warn that this will probably be WAY tmi and WAY rambly. yup.
Lastly, do not expect proper capitolization. i'm too tired to care. 



( TMI?Collapse )K... i think I went a little further than I had meant to ... but you get the idea. :D   

So obviously i'm doing a meme.   Yoinked from sariagray .


( i'm so not sleeping right now.Collapse )