get the word out about abuse

Subject:	Who am I?
Posted by:	just_a_jeffrey.
Time:	9:41 pm.

I'm just jeffrey. I'm in Middle School, but over 16. My friend's father umm...forced me. I haven't told any one. It was about 2 months ago. I don't know what to do. I can't believe my entier world has changed. I mean i'm was never popular with the girls...and I'm kinda a dork and more into books and stuff. But now, my life seems to have ended.

Nothing tastes the same
Joy has become a dead friend
I am just hollow

If I shouldn't be here let me know. My parents tell me I'm mature and I always get along better with adults and older people that guys and girls my age.

bye

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Subject:	I hope someone could help me out...
Posted by:	jamie15hill.
Time:	8:51 pm.

I apoligize first if I am not posting this in the right place...but I didn't really know where to do it at.
Ne ways, I'm 16 years old, and within the past year or so...went through a troubling time. I met a guy who was 23 at the time and i was 15...he kissed me that night at a party....we had a thing off and on for awhile, if he wasn't dating someone. A little while before my 16th birthday, I had sex with him. We said we would just be dating each other now, and about a month after that happened, my parents found out. To this day I'm not sure who told. But i'm glad they did. Of course i was heartbroken at the time. I realized i had let my parents down.... and not only that i was taking a HUGE risk... But I kept telling everyone its okay he loves me... he'll stick by me... probably not even a month later, he tells me he can't handle it, he doesn't know how to be with someone hes not allowed to be with... ((cause i wouldn't see him in fear of getting caught)) he bailed on me. i was the 16 year old girl...he was the 24 year old "man" and HE bailed on ME.
I was the one who hadta deal with letting my parents down. I was the one who had to tell these detectives the intimate parts of our relationship. I was the one who had to have to gynocological exams within a week. I was the one who went to school bawling my eyes out for days on end. Yes, he coulda went to jail, but I told the detectives i was 16 when it happened, so thats our legal age of consent here in Ohio i believe. Therefore nothing happened to him, which i was happy it didn't... because i don't feel like its right for him to get in trouble when i knew what i was doing to. But My mom, and my cousins mom both think that i didn't know what i was doing. But not only was this guy 23/24.... he didn't have a job half the time... in the duration of a month or so i had given him 90 dollars... he drank, he smoked, he smoked weed...and had experimented with alot harder drugs. But the reason I'm telling you bits of my story is that I would like to share with others my experience. and I don't know how to go about it.
A woman came to our school with a CATS program:concerned about teen sexuality but with that program you say you abstain from sex drugs and alochol. i abstain fromt he last two, and all three at the time being, but i'd feel hypocritical since i can't garuntee anything. But ne ways, I wanted to know if anyone of you knew... or knew how i could get information on talking to people about what i went through.
Thanx
Jamie

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Posted by:	_raging.
Time:	12:16 am.

Hello everyone. I am writing about a Rape Awareness Project I am in the process of starting. I have just recently created a separate journal which describes the project and how you can help. Please visit and contact me if you would be willing to contribute.

_consequently - Thanks so much!!

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Posted by:	boofyjo.
Time:	10:28 am.

I just sent this email to the local victims advocacy center and to the local paper....

Hello,
I was wondering if anyone heard the comment made by either Zac or Jim of the Waco 100 morning radio show on August 11, 2004. They were discussing the Kobe Bryant case and the fact that the victim had filed a civil suit seeking restitution for public scorn and humiliation. One of the men hosting the show then made a comment that she should have thought about that before she filed charges against Bryant.

I realize that he is allowed to have an opinion regarding the case but what does his comment say to the countless number of teenage girls and young women listening to his show as they get ready for school or work? That they should never speak out about rape or sexual violence for fear of retaliation from public figures like himself. I was angered at the comment he made but I don't feel that a complaint from an ordinary citizen such as myself would hold any weight with Clear Channel Communications.

Regardless of the outcome of the Bryant case, I thought that this country was trying to promote women speaking out against sexual violence. The comment that was made by this local "celebrity" (as they call themselves) could have a negative impact on that message.

Please let these men know that their voices are heard and that some consideration should be demostrated when they voice their personal opinions.

Sincerly,
Kim

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Subject:	sorry
Posted by:	kat_tastrophe.
Time:	12:27 am.

there was an annoymous posting Skank that added a comment to pinkvettes post.. so sorry about that. it has since been deleted..
perhaps i should ask boofyjo if she would like to mod here, since i have such a hard time checking in all the time. hmmmm.....

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Posted by:	pinkevette.
Time:	10:56 pm.

Is this community a safe place for me to confess what my life has been like, and what dealing has been like for me?
I tried another community and the response I got was horrible.

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Posted by:	jennay2.
Time:	5:35 pm.

hey guys this is my new community. don't judge it right now, as it is still in the works, but so far i've worked hard on it, so could you look at it? possibly join? lol

thanks

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Posted by:	jennay2.
Time:	11:27 am.
Mood:	cheerful.

xposted

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Subject:	I need opinions
Posted by:	specialplace.
Time:	2:58 pm.
Mood:	disappointed.

My boyfriend (of 2 years on and off again) had recently been on this whole "baby kick". He's 28 and I'm 18. I heard that that is common for men that age to want to have kids if they don't have any already. Well, anyways, I felt I'm just not ready for the responsibility yet. I'm just starting college and I'm just too young. I love my boyfriend more than anything and I know he loves me. I want(ed) to spend the rest of my life with him. Him and I have discussed babies alot and he knows how I feel. I would love to "bare" is children, just not now. Well, I take my birth control regularly and still make him wear a condom. I was away for a little while without him and so I knew I wouldnt have sex so I didn't take my birth contol. When I got back he kept pressureing me to have sex with him but I told him "no" because I didn't wanna risk anything because I forgot to take the pill before I got back...I told him to wait till i start back up. That night while I was asleep, he went ahead and had sex with me anyway. I woke up and he was on top of me and I knew he wasn't wearing a condom. I didn't scream or anything, I don't know why. I just kept begging him to stop. I was terrified. I found out a couple days ago that I AM pregnant. I'm really scared. And angry. i dont know what to do. I've told him, but I havent mentioned that night to him. I feel like he did it on purpose. Up until then he has been nothing but sweet to me. Although I really hate him right now, I love him soo much. I just don't know what to do. Abortion and adoption are just not an option for me. I know I'm going to keep my baby. I just don't know what I'm going to do about my boyfriend. I need help...

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Subject:	here is what was said today in the chatroom
Posted by:	ky_whitney.
Time:	5:12 pm.

Blink182Rebell:WHOS THE PERSON THAT GOT RAPED IN HERE
ImDaRealSpidrMan: that is not something that should be discussed blink
ImDaRealSpidrMan: not in here anyway
XXX and Blunts: A RAPER IS ON THA LOOSE ???
Blink182Rebell: NO U SAID THIS GIRL SAID SHE GOT RAPED BUT THEN MADE IT UP
KillaPrincessX: i said that some one in here is "claming" that she got raped
ImDaRealSpidrMan: still it is not something to joke about
KillaPrincessX: ya and its not something to lie about either
KillaPrincessX: she is a fucking hoebag slut anyways she is lying about it

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Subject:	Rapist Emails
Posted by:	ky_whitney.
Time:	3:29 pm.

So he emailed me from a different account...

Read what he said in my personal journal and comment in there, for I found out that he reads all of my public entries.

Maybe if enough people tell him how it really is and how HE really is... maybe he will realize what a horrible person he is.

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Subject:	Parole
Posted by:	ky_whitney.
Time:	10:14 am.
Mood:	blank.

In order to get the criminal case started, I needed two things. I needed the other girl who was raped by him previously to file a report and I needed his PO to know.

I was checking out the website for the Michigan Offenders....

Magically, the fucker is off parole!!!!!! Amazing what money will fucking do. GAWD I'm pissed.

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Subject:	Three Years...
Posted by:	ehryns_grace.
Time:	7:41 pm.
Mood:	sad.

Well, tomorrow will be three years since my daughter Ehryn died. I am trying to think about all the other positive things in my life to make me feel better, but it isn't working that well. I have plans to go to the cemetery tomorrow and out for cucumber sushi with a friend of mine. She always makes me feel better. I guess we will just see how tomorrow goes.

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Subject:	AOL drama (cross posted)
Posted by:	ky_whitney.
Time:	3:07 am.
Mood:	melancholy.

Things get easier with time I suppose... or so I thought.

I am one of those "avid" chat room users. I often through my AOL provider to into the Grand Rapids, MI chat room. Everyone in there pretty much knows each other and it is a good place to chat.

Well I didn't make my entry in my personal journal about my rape incident a friends only entry, for it was public. My "rapist" (i call him that so i dont have to put his name) used to go into that chat room all the time and is well known.

Someone took my entry, copied and pasted it into an email, and mass email style sent it out to everyone in the chat room that day and to all of the regular chatters.

I went in there a few days ago and got harrassed. "how could a stripper get raped? especially by someone who doesnt need to force a girl to sleep with him?" is the reaction I received. I was deemed a lair and a whore. Apparently, strippers aren't people... they are incapable of having "real people" experiences -or- they are in capable of being raped because they 'sleep around'.

I am hurt. I know I shouldn't let it get to me. But how are people going to deem me a liar through a stereotype and say that I deserved it if it did happen?

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Subject:	sex offenders
Posted by:	kat_tastrophe.
Time:	7:43 am.
Mood:	determined.

i have a link that will guide you to your state.. where you can look up all the sex offenders in your state, city, county, neighborhood.. whatever your state provides...
if you havent pressed charges against your attacker, just think how good it would feel to see his/her name up on this site.. where the WORLD can see just how evil they are. i did a search just a little bit ago and found 10 offenders within a 10 mile radius of my HOUSE! 25 offenders at 15miles!
every state is different on how you can so a search.. PLEASE use this site.

http://codeamber.org/sor.html

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Posted by:	jennay2.
Time:	5:00 pm.

well i haven't updated in a while, and i decided to talk about a few things going on in my life...

well recently things have been okay. for those who don't know my story, my name is Jenna and I'm 17 years old. For 16 years of my life my dad abused me mentally, emotionally, physically, and sexually. He was sent to jail for 218 years this past november, and since then my life has fallen apart. I've had sex with strangers, done many drugs, tried to commit suicide, and one after another, find new abusers to replace my dad. My biggest one lately was stephen, and its sad to say that he still haunts me. I see him everywhere, and I'm so angry at how i let him use me. but finally a month ago he was out of my life for good. only recently did i start to speak to him again. then a few weeks ago i found another potential abuser. his name was tony, and he was always making rude cracks. then this past monday i made the mistake of trying to sleep with him, but midway through i freaked out and had to stop...he hasn't talked to me since.

i now go to therepy regularly. its art therepy and has really helped me. i've begun learning why i do the things i do. I feel horrible for the people who continually go through the abuse, though i know how hard it is to recover. i'm not even done. i'm prolly far from it.

but yeah. thats the basis of the shit i have to go through. i'm looking to meet new people, so if you want, add me and i'll add you back.

crossposted to other abuse communities

♥

thanks for listening

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Subject:	to Ky_whitney
Posted by:	kat_tastrophe.
Time:	12:08 pm.

Sorry i havent been on in well over a week...

Whitney.. FUCK HIM.. post his picture, file a police report...TELL EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!
get a restraining order... cuz if you are afraid of him seeing his picture on your site, then there is a reason you are scared .. get a restraining order! I'm so NOT KIDDING. you have to do this or he will think its ok to do this to you again.
PLEASE.. seek help from the authorities...

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Subject:	Cross posted in mybodytaken
Posted by:	ky_whitney.
Time:	10:57 am.
Mood:	angry.

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Posted by:	ky_whitney.
Time:	6:10 pm.
Mood:	aggravated.

I posted the picture of my rapist in my journal, I found his mug shot on the internet. I was warned by some of my friends that it may cause problems for me if he saw it (not that he knows I have a journal) or if someone he knows saw it. So I decided to take it down.

I found myself so angry today, chain smoking away as I was staring at his picture. I blame myself, I know I shouldn't but I do.

I started hanging out with a guy I barely knew, I went over to his house alone, and I was wearing "riskae" clothing.

There are very few moments that has happened since Thursday that doesn't remind me of that event.
*I go to take a shower, I see the mark he left on my left shoulder blade. He bit me when I started fighting it as he was shoving me furthur down onto the couch. He left a big, hicky-type mark. I had to put my clothes back on today and not take a shower.
*I listen to the radio and I heard the song that was playing while he was doing it. I had to turn off the radio for awhile and listen to CDs.
*I had to re-wash my already washed clothes from that day... to me, they were still dirty.
*I still get chills up and down my body at the mere thought of it.
*My back is still in emmense amounts of pain from him jamming his hand into my back.

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