Sickled Love
Point a small gun in the air
The trigger Man feeds grossly
He says to the trembling bodies
"Do you feel this fear?"

The trigger Man says -
"Can you feel the sense of agony?"
"Do you wish to help yourselves?"
The trigger Man aims the bullet womb under his jaw

The trigger Man says -
"I am going to shoot myself,
Do you not fear for yourselves any more,
now that you are safe?"
The trigger Man is crying

The trigger Man says -
"Do you wish to save me?"
Trembling bodies watch , a few tears fall,
a few faces frozen, too few understand.
The trigger Man is angry now

"Feel this pain, this sorrow?"
"I wish to save the humans, I wish to help move forward,
not backwards"
"Too many souls that are unware, glued to their phones,
their computers, their television."
"So much agression, so many false kings, so few
humans"

The trigger Man screams -
The trigger Man squeezes -

Blood on the celing
Nobody understands

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Sparrow

Fly away, 

Silently singing

Freedom searching 

Take flight on wings 

Made of stardust and cloud

Escape the dirty, taunting man

Let your aspirations be your guide into the unknown 

Let your sorrow keep you adrift 

Oh, sweet sparrow, whose voice haunts my soul 

Why do you touch the ground 

When you could live amongst clouds instead?

Are humans more fun to watch

Are they more fun to tease?

With their heads in the clouds 

And meager thoughts flying about

Like deformed children

They grow into monsters 

And they take

Never giving 

Are you disgusted by our useless 

Ideas?

The fire or touching the sun

The lips pressed to windows

Eyes searching for answers 

Where there are no questions

 Yes, we must seem so silly to you

And cruel as well

Is it wrong to you that we blind you 

Ad make you sing?

I’m sure you must not mind much, 

For it takes a willing subject to be caught 

By unskilled men’s hands

But sparrow 

If I could

I’d leave with you 

And leave this disserted  no mans land

To forever be in your grace

Sparrow,

Goodbye until we meet again

I will always look to you as a friend 

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periscope upward toward suface hasn't yet reached
in the middle somewhere in time didn't want to know too clear rather be here this way stillness illusion quietude though not real scene to be true could feel it as if it were next to nothing that could break through

Current Mood: scopeful

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Live in here
Hear, take me up to my brain
Leave the trees, left to borrow
Leaves for branches
Gift of reason,
Fault of chances.
Live in the possibilities
From then up here
Destroy any grants of
Oxygen purposely
Give them all their land
And,
Mystery.
Body like a soul like a soul
Caught untrustworthy
Live in here.
Hear? Live in here
Who are you?
Brought in me?
My dead grandmothers,
Own insanity
Soul, you made me
So live inside of me
Peel the outer me
Bloom the butterfly
Fly,
Fly...

Current Mood: high

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I am not a vase
Entered and Filled,
perpetuating life and joy.
Superficially useful - nearly invisible.
Fragile;
replaceable and irreparable.

Current Mood: uncomfortable

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Moment of seasons
Changes of time,
difference in season.
Vibrant spring,
burning summer,
shifting fall,
cool winter,
all tied together.
Things may change,
but just that moment,
that moment of life,
is truly eternal.

Current Mood: contemplative

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The Stone

My life is set in stone.
Will it ever change?
What have I missed?
What could have been?
All the paths not taken,
All the roads not travelled.
What waited for me,
Had I chosen them instead?
Am I happy as I am?
Like stagnant water,
Never moving.
Always the same.
Or am I just wishing?
Wishing for things that will never be?
Can I change the stone now?
Dare I change it now?
Do I really want to change what’s written?
All these questions shall remain unanswered.
For fear keeps me stagnant.
Fear of change, fear of life.
Fear of myself.

Current Mood: blah

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'cigarette lighter waving'
cigarette lighter waving
you are willing to
   submit abysmally to abysses to
   end suffering but only
   selfishly
dark + motes of dust in high beams
you are willing to
   take any and all flack lying
   down, fucked anklewise kneedeep in
   cackling
              -broomstick + all,
broomstick + all,
pentagram neatly wedged in the cleft of your tits

cigarette waving patiently
smoke in the highbeams, i am willing to
publish your obscenities, whore of the age
of poetry

jjxe
Strathmore
Dec 13 / 10

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Breaking Hours
Each second lives on in hell
Forever stuck inside this jail
I rattle my cage
Turning towards every so called sage
Is there a cure? Will I see tomorrow?
All I feel is my own sorrow
Darkness falls and my eyes stare above
Remembering those moments covered in love
Echoes and scratches abound
Tattering little sounds
How will I ever be
Just the girl known as me

Current Mood: blank

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Left you, Abandoned

My body's an empty house, the staircase of my spine is splintered
watch your step
the floorboards are rotten and water logged with words of disease.
Forgotten.
Creaky house, facing the cliffs, the drop off is far,
instead of pushing...
Could you lend me a hand, a kind face turned cruel. Weather erodes tree trunks into old souls.
Broken eyes,
you see through. Shattered windows remind me of lost hope.
The shingles are deteriorating, the angel's tears fall from the star beds above,
the voice of beauty.
It hurts your ears to hear the truth;
that I'm leaving.
The void is unsettling, old pictures in the attic left to gather dust.
You can't remember anything, you can't keep everything, nothing lasts forever.
The house engulfs in flames


Current Mood: nostalgic

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Sound
Trickling by little trickle
The sky does what I cannot
Words catch in my throat in a tickle
Trying to employ what I've been taught
The rain falls, releasing all
Never can I find my ground
Nor stand tall
I just so wish to be with body, soul, and mind sound

Current Mood: guilty

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pOeM
 Am I mad to think these things,
To feel the way I feel?
To believe in ghosts and angels
When "reality's" surreal?

The world's interconnected.
Anyone can see;
And I'm here at the centre -
The fat controller - me.

Coincidences don't exist.
The planet's pre-arranged.
Smoke some dope and clench my fist -
It's the others what's deranged.

The T.V.'s telepathic.
The postman's K.G.B.
The radio's empathic.
There's arsenic in my tea.

The junk-mails full of messages.
Mossad's been in touch?
There's anthrax in my sausages
Life really is too much!

The gas-man's come from M.I.5.
His eyes electric blue.
What to do to stay alive?
There's cameras in the loo.

I must out on a mission -
The world, my soul, to save.
No manic intermission.
I'm bold! I'm free! I'm brave!

The sky above is orange;
The street below is black.
The life I live is free-range;
But there's a devil on my back.

Smash a window! Break the spell!
Get the "Busies" swarming.
Crazy antics in a cell.
Sectioned early morning.

Interrogated, medicated,
Movements now staccato.
Worst of all humiliated.
Just what the fuck then are you?

You're no Satan! You're no Christ!
You're just another number.
"You're brains, my dear, they must be sliced!"
Do they come much dumber?

You? Commander of the Gods?
What a crazy notion.
You've lost your clothes, you stupid sod!
And caused a great commotion!

We're all mistaken so they say
At some time or another.
Just one more long schizoid day -
Blame it on my mother!

Current Mood: zzzzzz

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something
something

i knew you'd be the death of me
you can't hold onto this forever
but you're gonna try
i want to rip you out of my heart
(rip you up)
but something keeps me still
i love you
and you repeat it back to me
but sometimes
it feels like a lie
hate will burn you
and i'll be numb to your pain
YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

Current Mood: crushed

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Lush
It hurts because I put so much thought into the letter I wrote you.
It hurts because you sent a two-line response.
It hurts because I know you so well (from 'afar') and you don't know me at all.
             You didn't even know of my existance.
It hurts because, a year ago, you were in my (sparkly) shoes.
It hurts because you act like you don't know how that feels.
It hurts because you got to shake her hand.
It hurts because some one else will get to kiss you.
It hurts that it will always be a boy.
             By default, you'll always choose a boy instead of me.
It hurts because no one else has ever made me question my gender.
             It must be nice to be a boy and feel a boy on one's skin.
It hurts because you're so beautiful.
It hurts because you don't know how beautiful you are
              (Despite the fact that you do know you're beautiful).
It hurts because I know you'll never read this.
It hurts.

Current Mood: Heartbroken

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Silent Warning

The silence screamed a warning

But only now do I realize

Now when it’s too late

The abyss screamed in the silence

Giving me every chance

Falling in the helpless dark

My love, never forget me

I don’t want to be just another

The daily routine hides more

The demons as they jeer

Now I scream a warning

In the silence of my poetry

Do not fall, my love, do not fall

It’s too late to save me

The abyss has won

Never forget, never forget me

I’m screaming, though not breathing

I can’t breathe, I’m dying

Do not fret for me, my love

Just do not become like me

Do not fall, resist the abyss

My mistakes are a silent warning

I love you, don’t run from me yet

Do not let me pull you down too

I ignored the silent warnings

Hear mine, my love, hear mine

Do not ignore this, please

Please, promise I won’t be just another

Another face, another name, another love

As I fade into the abyss

God, the belt, I can’t breathe

I ignored the warnings, every warning

Laden in the silence

I should have feared the demons

Before they dragged me down

Fear the demons, fear the graves

Do not ignore this silent warning

Hear the warning, do not repeat this

One soul lost to the darkness is enough

Do not follow me, my love, don’t follow

This is my warning, my last warning

Do not follow me here, my love

The abyss has taken enough already

I ignored the silent screams

Of the ones who came before me

Do not mourn me, my love

But please, love, please don’t forget

Don’t let me fade among those lost to you

I’m not just another

Don’t forget me or this silent warning

Do not ignore as I did

Do not suffer as I did

Nor should you let yourself fall

The abyss cannot take you, my love

It’s too late for me to make it

Save yourself, love, listen, be warned

Hear my last silent warning

Do not join me, love, not yet

Hear the warning, do not forget

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It calls to me over sandy dunes
No louder than a child's whisper
With violent undertows
That rushing voice fades not.

Lost in the night sky
Glittered with stars that hold no meaning
I'm no navigator of life in darkness.
A shooting star twinkles.

The waves crash on.
The roar continues.
My bare feet rough and calloused by miles on the sand
The sea calls to me.

No drink can quench this thirst
For life that just won't happen
Unless I follow the sea's call
and swim out to the stars.

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The call
The call echoes in your mind
Deeper, louder, faster
Nothing else exists but the call.

The call that begs one to release,
Begs one to step outside and feel
The aura of the shadow

The call that begs one to leave
This mortal realm of tears,
The call that begs one to
Finally end the suffering
Of lonliness.

Answer the call,
For nothing else exists.

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eighty-one degrees at three a.m.
it's too
hot
to be touching,
but I can't
help
myself. maybe
if we get hot enough,
we'll
melt
together, and
you won't
leave
me when we
finish our quiet
love.
the fan sighs,
lazy,
too tired to
breathe cold air
in our faces.
jesus,
i missed your
sour expression
and your smell, like
rain.
now go on
back to
her.
being the other
woman is too
stressful
for a good Southern
younglady.

Current Mood: hot

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You're sweet
Like artificial
Apple Candy.
You make
My face pucker
And I can't help
But lean to kiss you.

(Comment on this)

beautiful is objective.
letdown

sometimes
i fear for you.
you're so
sweet
when you
talk about him,
like you talked
about that kid you
"married"
back in
second grade.
i was your
minister
then; i'm your
enabler
now. your
parents would
never
forgive me,
if they saw
you, clambering out
my bedroom window
with a
condom
in one pocket
and a pack of
Newports
in the other.

last name

i fell in love with your last name
your eyes, your lips were not to blame.

i heard of you in history books,
then finally got the urge to look.

you are not perfect, nor am i
and so, i fear, i'll say goodbye

you made jokes about my poetry
but that is all you mean to me.

a poet without a good last name
is more than just a crying shame.


self evident

every house
needs a turret,
to encourage
its resident's
inner child.

every day
needs a laugh,
to prove to God
that we can overcome
what He throws at us.

every classroom
needs a dictionary,
to show the people
our language can express
every feeling with a word.

every child
needs a hug,
at least one,
to show that
someone, somewhere,
loves them enough to
show it.

hope

once
upon
a
night,
you
whisked me
away
from this.
no
jealousy,
family feuds,
anything
weighing
heavy
on my tongue.
just
meandyou,
your tender
love
blanketing
us.
this haven
can only
last
so long,
mon cherie.

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