silverusagi

This is pretty much self-indulgent crack at this point, so you have been warned. This is the next in a series of some cracky ficlets starring Chuck, Death, Gabriel, and Jesus. The beginning:

This is How Supernatural Will End
Word Count: 275
Summary: Written directly after 6.22. Castiel kills everyone, goes nuclear, and negates all existence. Then it's just Chuck and Death in the void...

Take Two
Word Count: 375
Summary: After the universe is destroyed, Chuck, Death, and Jesus ditch and go to the universe without magic (the universe of The French Mistake plus Pepsi commercials).

Title: Brave New World
Word Count: 375
Genre: Gen, Crack
Rating: PG
Summary: Chuck and Jesus hang out in Gabriel's apartment. Jesus discusses future plans and Chuck mopes.
Warnings: Blasphemy

-----

“You think Death will be coming back after he gets pizza?” Gabriel asked.

Jesus didn’t look away from the laptop. “Probably not. He can’t stand Dad. And he’s still mad at me.”

“What’d you do?”

“Took his scythe,” Chuck muttered from the couch. “Then lost it in a poker game.”

“It was ages ago,” Jesus said. “Dude needs to lighten up.”

Gabriel cleared his throat. “Well, not that this family reunion hasn’t been great, but you guys don’t have to stay here, y’know.”

Chuck made a grumpy noise and burrowed further into his blanket.

“No problem, man,” Jesus said. “I think I’m about to go exploring. Brave new world.”

That got Chuck’s attention. He sat up, focusing on the laptop Jesus was using, which was opened to a Wikipedia entry about the Crucifixion. “Are you Googling yourself?”

“New universe—what else am I supposed to do? But you said we didn’t exist here.”

“We don’t.” Chuck flopped back on the couch. “Certain stories bleed through even though they never happened here. It’s resonance. Metaphysically, this world is different, but otherwise it’s practically identical.”

“Great, cause I don’t wanna have to memorize a new set of kings.” He looked at Gabriel. “You up for some fake miracles?”

“No miracles!” Chuck said. “No pranks! No just desserts! I got you to a brand new world, can you just leave it alone for a day? We’re the only four magical beings on this entire plane, so can we please not screw it up?”

“Hey, don’t look at me,” Gabriel said. “I didn’t screw it up last time. As long as you don’t recreate Castiel, we should be good to go.”

Chuck glowered and started flipping through channels. “All I’m saying is to keep a low profile.”

“Dude, I can keep a low profile,” Jesus said. Then, “Actually, you know what would be hilarious? There’s this Holy Land park in Florida—I could get a job as myself.”

Gabriel snickered. “That’s what I did. Well, more or less.”

“We could all get jobs,” Jesus said. “Y’know, to take our minds off the universe that just exploded.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes in Chuck’s direction. “Dad’s a layabout.”

Jesus looked at Chuck skeptically. “Do you even know how to do anything?”

“I created the universe.”

Jesus paused. “Yeah, but anything else?”