silverusagi

Word Count: 500
Genre: Gen, Humor
Rating: PG
Summary: Gabriel, Chuck, and Death talk at a sidewalk cafe. Or, Gabriel interrupts.
A/N: This has nothing to do with anything, really, except that everything is better with Gabriel.
Spoilers: 6.22.

-----

“Yikes. Hello, Cthulhu,” Gabriel pulled a chair out from the table and straddled it backwards. “We might as well call it Cthulhu, right? Right?”

Chuck made a non-committal noise at Gabriel’s appearance. Death pretended he wasn’t even there.

“Seriously, did you not feel that?”

“Of course I did. I’m God.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Not anymore, apparently.”

“I’m still God.” Chuck glowered.

“Maybe you should, y’know, go defend your title.”

“Why don’t you go?”

“Did you see what just happened to Raphael? Though he totally had it coming,” Gabriel added. “Nope, I’ve filled my ‘standing up to my brother’ quota for the millennium. See where that got me?”

“And yet, here you are,” Death said, pointedly looking into his coffee cup.

“Hey, it’s not my fault I have friends in low places.” Gabriel glared at Chuck. “You didn’t bring me back, I noticed.”

“Well, you’re back, aren’t you? Does it matter how?”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “What’s the deal with Castiel, anyway? Why do you keep unexploding him?”

Chuck drew himself up. “I work in mysterious ways.”

“Don’t start that. That routine got old six thousand years ago.”

“I tend to agree,” Death said.

“Oh?” Gabriel asked. “What about the doom speech you gave Dean about Sam’s wall? He’s going to be fine.”

“Sometimes, I’m more dramatic than I should be,” Death said. “One must create one’s own fun.”

“Exactly,” Chuck agreed.

“You two deserve each other.” Gabriel shook his head. “So is there a plan here?”

“I don’t know.” Death glanced at Chuck. “Is there?”

“Like I’m telling you.”

“Come now, you know I wouldn’t do anything…incredibly detrimental.”

Chuck looked at Gabriel. “Why are you so interested in the Winchesters?”

“I’m not—interested. I’m just wondering why they seem to attract cosmic trouble. Seems kind of like a design flaw.”

“I designed everything,” Chuck said.

“No,” Death said, “I was here first.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“I believe I was.”

“Was not.”

“Was,” Death said, ever dignified.

Gabriel tilted his head, listening to conversations a world away. “You’d better keep that scythe away from grabby human hands this time, is all I’m saying. Cause I know you’re the first one they’re going to think of to deal with their new problem.”

“Avoiding the Winchesters is quite simple, really. They never leave America.”

“Yeah, and what about Castiel and the ‘all shall love me and despair’ trip that he’s on?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Gabriel?” Chuck said.

“Oh, I get it. You want to discuss your top-secret plans in private. Fine. I’ll go see what Oberon is up to. Even the fairies don’t scheme like you guys.”

Gabriel disappeared.

“I hate it when he goes to the other side,” Chuck grumbled. “No matter how many times I tell him not to play on the other side, that’s all he does.”

“They grow up so quickly,” Death said. “One day, they’re a shining, bright thing that adores you, the next, they’re enslaving their uncle into servitude.”

Chuck rolled his eyes. “You’re still bitter about the Lucifer thing, aren’t you?”