reading @ Dreamwidth

Favorite memory associated with a season (spring, summer, fall, winter) for any day you’d like!! - haunted_cherries

• Spring: i dunno if this was in spring or teetering to summer, but one time i found a baby bird in the grass. like, naked baby, no nest nearby, nothing. poor thing, i ended up picking it up and bringing home and keeping it in a box with paper towels. waking up early to feed it, breathing warm air on it ... it was about a day or two until i managed to get in contact with a wildlife rehab someone was running who was willing to take the baby bird, and managed to bring it over
• Summer: visiting the rollercoaster park we have nearby (as nearby as an hour is), i've been there a handful of times but i remember finally conquering my fear to go on some of the biggerish rollercoasters. definitely none that go upside down fully or have scary ass drops (i'd pee myself. not literally but im a scaredy cat for those), but definitely some that i was more anxious to go on, and i still remember the thrill of going on them and being so proud of myself
• Autumn: nothing specific ... which is funny because my birthday is in November and falls in there. i always like fall for remembering the piles of leaves i like kicking my feet through and watching them scatter around, or crunching under my shoes
• Winter: the vaguest memories of snowpants and making snow castles at lunchtime during school. trying to make snowmen ... winter is usually dreary and with a lot of snow, so my memories are sparse. sometimes vacations to places like cuba, since we went in winter months

well not nothing but there is definitely some ... okay, i've been locked in yesterday in updating my job searching spreadsheet + sending some applications out, did one today as well, but i think with FIFA also still going on it's been eating at my brain focus in some ways (thank god it finishes in a week or so)

like there's a bunch of stuff i DO wanna do like ...

• updating my carrd sales on my anytype application
• eventually finding the templates i wanna use for toyhouse
  • weird caveat that i wanna do the genshin wiki thing for sylvie but i'm like ... where would i put their cute ribbons i have in my profile page right now??? like yeah they'll be active when i remake my OC pages on my website, but they aren't active NOW for me to say that
  • i sorely need to get back to website work, but my fixations have moved in other places rn, which makes me a little sad LOL
• updating my game notes for minecraft (forever world, forever world vanilla edition, one block)
• continuing to organize my resources and eventually move my drawings over to my new folder organization layout
• migrating my vgen commission info to anytype as well (lower priority because i'd need to remake the layout i was using by someone else)
• speaking of anytype, setting up their cloud service and getting it on my phone

... i think my brain is just trying to find some semblance of organization from last week so i've been split across things. i'm also just stressed with getting arcs prepared for my friend's second book + sending job apps out again + now getting back to doing small commissions for some income so i think im. scrambled a lot. and socially sucked out so it's been hard to engage much with commenting/communities

all i've been doing is using cookie run as a mental pause LOL

Are there any sort of self-imposed 'rules' you have for eating food? Like, always needing something sweet and something salty, or never having certain foods touch, or always having a hot dinner even on a boiling day? - zavodilaterrarium

im listening to a video on signs you might be aroace which is like half redundant because i am. ace… but its one of those things that like… i guess it cycles back to me that i’ve always thought relationships should have a foundation of a friendship first. like i do not get the appeal of just dating a person you feel attracted to, i do not get the concept of feeling attraction without connection and acting on it for a longterm relationship

i’m not against romantic gestures and that, but it’s also because to me it’s like??? shouldn’t u be… normally hanging out with the people you love regardless..??????? and giving hugs???????? family? friends? beloveds??????

… to be fair it’s also why i say zhongli and sylvie see themselves as friends first and not romantic partners if because it’s how i think

i’ve also only ever had one real single crush and that was in middle school and never again LFMAO. except for ONE youtuber i liked (and still like and watch but that sensation wore off). i guess its also why it makes me confused cause i don’t … i can see myself in a relationship but to me it’d be no different nor any higher than my normal friendships except with just some extras (wedding)

i haven’t ever had a relationship tho but that’s just general feelings on it. like maybe i could be demiromantic if im hinging on the whole ‘i need a connection’ but i also struggle to see what the difference is between platonic and romantic love

like i could date but i don’t think id be that different between a partner and a friend. a partner (to me) is just a friend who by law allows you to be legally bonded to lol

like i GUESS quoiromantic sorta kinda covers it, or laimoromantic (though i can distinguish between some gestures i’d not do with friends but would do with a partner. or stuff that might be only for family and a partner???)

like damn who would’ve thunk /s (me with my two clearly aroace main ocs)