|
[03/14/05 at 1:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
we were supposed to be back from chicago on sunday night @ ten o'clock... we(meaning the band) got home @ 3:30am on monday morning so i didn't go to school today and im so so so so so so so so so so so tired... k im gonna get off now...
oh btw i have internet for the time being so i can get on more talk to u all later...
luv el
|
|
|
[12/21/04 at 1:24am] |
|
k well im leaving the community but if anyone ever does happen to see this .. add me to ur friends il add back
|
|
|
[12/21/04 at 1:23am] |
|
k so does anyone even post in here anymore !?
|
|
|
[12/14/04 at 10:17pm] |
hey im new my name is chelsey .. i thought this would be a really good community to join because i can talk about whatever i want and make some great friends !! if you want to add me to your friends il add you back !! =) thanx
<3: Chelsey
|
|
|
[09/02/04 at 4:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
Hey you guys I'm still out here. I'm really sorry for not posting. I have been so bussy i barley even write in mine. Skool have been takin all of my time and my boy friend. Which dont bother me but i need time for my girls~! I miss talkin to all of you! I havent cut in a long time now its been like 3 months now and i'm so happy for me! Tell me about you all! Add me to your jouranls also! and i'll add ya back i want you all to be on my friends list. And go look at the layout i fixed it up alot and if anyone wants theres fixed up email me what you want and i;ll do my best to give ya what ya want. I love you all!!!
<<333
Emmy-boo
|
|
| Where are you guys?????? |
[09/02/04 at 2:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
geeky |
] |
Okay, so does anyone write in here anymore or what???....lol. I keep checking it and nobody seems to be writing. Are you guys still alive or what???, lol.
So life is great. I only have to go to school for half a day everyday for work experience! It's great. I was pretty psyched when I got my schedule and it was a complete blow off. It's all good though, because it's my last yeatr!!! YEAH SENIORS!!!
There is a home football game tonight too so I am for sure going to that. I'm pumped. Our football team is actually doing good this year(*it'll be the first!*).
Well...I am gonna go take a nap. I'm kind of tired. I hope SOMEONE, ANYONE, writes, because it's boring right now..lol.
|
|
|
[08/22/04 at 8:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
I think that I am gonna go insanse. I am so sick and tired of feeling so depressed all the time. It's all I ever feel. But some days...my moods are like up, down, up, down. It's so annoying. I don't understand myself at all. I can't open up to anyone either. I don't even tell Ryan about anything. Its so hard for me. I kind of flipped out on him and I feel bad. He's upset because I never tell him what's going on anymore and that so I just told him every detail of what was bothering me so I would just get it out. I feel a little better I would have to admitt, I'm just so frustrated. I'm sorry. All I seem to do it bitch about my life and how it sucks so bad. It's like nothing positive in my life happens. Except Ryan. He is one of the best things that has happend in my life though!!! I don't know what I would do without him. Who would encourage me not to do stupid things? Who would be there for me whenever I needed to talk? Who would hold me when I needed to be held? Who would comfort me when I cry? Who would give me advice? I would be lost without him. I don't think he realizes how much he means to me!!! He is perfect!!!
I love you Ryan!
|
|
| Another day in my long depressing days..... |
[08/20/04 at 9:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
I hate my parents! My life sucks!!! For real...like they won't let my go to my friends house for no reason. I ask why...and my dad flips out at me for asking why! SCREW OFF...LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!! I don't need anyone anyways! UGGGHHH. For real I just want to go insane. I'm gonna cut. I am just gonna take the god damn knife to my skin and slice it open until blood just starts pourning out and I feel better!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream and cry right now. Ryan is at work right now, my parents wont let me go to Jenny's to talk, and I won't talk to my parents about it! So I don't have anyone to talk to. I hate my life so much. I don't see why I can't ever do anything and when they let me it's like a BIG HUGE freakin' deal! Like what the hell!? I don't understand anything right now. It's all a big blur. Fuck life! It sucks!
|
|
|
[08/20/04 at 1:34am] |
as I look into the mirror,
I always fail to wonder and see who I am,
and who I will become.
the fear that i hold so deep within,
comes to light so easily,
and I know that things aren't what they used to be.
dark night just bleed away,
forgiveness does not come
i've never been so afraid
so perhaps a simple cut will sufice
but one cut does not help,
nor two or three
i just keep slicing,
hoping to end the pain
it's not your fault
nor yours, or yours
nobody's fault
except my own.
never show emotion
stand up straight, look tall
never expect forgiveness
nothing ever, at all
my heart is ripped apart
again and again
nothing can stop the heartache
i doubt a hug can
im just lost
in that never ending sea of darkness and regret
maybe this is where I belong
just in a tiny world of my own
im postive nobody will rescue me
and even if they try
prehaps by what i've done
i do deserve
i am a horrible person
i cannot believe what I did
what I attempted to do
just crashed and burned
strange but true really,
now I have to say
perhaps it would be best
.....to bleed it all away
|
|
| Help me..... |
[08/19/04 at 4:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
So life doesn't make a whole lot of sense right now. I feel like a big screw up that doesn't deserve to have what I do have. I don't deserve to have my boyfriend. He can do so much better than me...but I know that he only wants me. But sometimes, I wonder if he would be better off without me. you know? Maybe...but maybe not.
Latley I feel so depressed and down. It won't go away. The other day I wanted to drive my car right into a tree and die. I didn't want to go back home. I don't want to be at home right now. I want to get away. It's so frustrating here that I want to just scream. It's insanse.
I don't even know why half the time I feel so depressed. I sit there thinking about how badly I want to put that knife to my wrists and cut myself till all the pain pours out of me, but I just can't bring myself to do it because of Ryan and my good friend Rebecca. I want to so badly right now though. Is it okay that I still want to all the time? Is it okay that I feel worthless and stupid or even a freak? Is it okay that I want to die?? Uggghhh. Life sucks!
Well I have a scrimmage in a lil while for basketball so I am gonna get outta here. It's less time in my house so I'm all for it!!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!
|
|
