Rock 'n' roll killed my flying whale

"She's like one of those metal dinosaurs that eats cars at monster truck rallies, but instead of eating cars, she sucks all the damn time," on Anne Heche. (She was on HBO.)

It's called putting all those English credits to use.

114 weeks later and it seems like only yesterday. Man, this place is a ghost town website these days. Who would have thought people would go from wanting long boring posts that lead nowhere to short boring posts that say nothing?

I have no idea what to do with this, just that I resolved, so here's some philosophical idea which may or may not be something already. I know I wont bother looking through Google and Wikipedia to see since the Internet doesn't accept vague ideas yet, so I'm just going to assume I came up with it in a vacuum. I call it Awareness Effect because I don't know Latin. The idea is that if you become aware of something, say for the sake of a bad example you meet some person at a party who lives near you, and you begin to notice them in everyday life because you don't exactly live in New York City. They were probably always there, running through little subroutines and going to the normal locations, but now that you are aware of them as more than background fodder, you actually notice them and it seems astonishing or brand new and you may wonder why you never noticed them before, especially since you live in a small city or a small world or whatever. You know of course that it isn't as if they just magically appeared and now pop up at random with a greater occurrence rate, you just never noticed before what now seems so obvious. Once you put a name to something/someone or identify them, they stick out from the chatter. If I had any idea how the brain works, I could say it is an X recognizing a new Y and making that Y stand out from all the Z that you observe everyday because now your brain has a tag for that certain Y. Then we stop using people as our example variable and start in with anything else. You just discover Oxygen or a new planet or The Americas and it is as if seeing parts of the world for the first time because now you can identify more clearly certain parts. You come up with a new hypothesis or hear a new idea or way of thinking and it clicks into place and everything feels so right and different and now more recognizable, but nothing has changed, you're just aware of something you weren't beforehand.

Seventeen more sentences which say the exact same thing. I don't like that I do that, and I do it a lot. I'm an English major so I have to bullshit my way through essays all the time and turn three sentences worth of thought into five paragraphs of fact. I end up taking two sentences and rolling them down a hill until there is a snowball wrapped entirely in the same two sentences over and over again, said in different ways, for five paragraphs. Then Scooby Doo and Shaggy do that run where they spins their feet a bunch of times but don't go anywhere and they are eaten up by that giant snowball of the same idea tripping over itself. Its alright though, because so was the flying yeti, and it turns out it was just some ski instructor trying to scare everyone away from the mountain so he could grow and sell weed. Scooby and the gang never report him.

As for what I've been up to, mainly just trying to flesh myself out as a character. Become more three dimensional and all of that. For example, right now I'm dicking with a research paper on snuff films for submission to the literary journal I joined up with at school. One of the head guys was saying at a meeting that they want scholarly articles as well as creative writing submissions, so I want to prove I shouldn't be trusted. It's called being smart. Other stuff happened and is going on, so maybe that will get covered to. Or it wont be. Who knows. I'm probably gonna have to swallow my pride and start a Facebook page too. Ignoring it because it is a stupid idea is fun in principle, but I'm nowhere near popular enough to have my principles be considered.

Go Ninja Black Sox.

So I have one-thousand 3x5 cards. Not by choice, just because that was the unit the decided to sell them in, kilocards, and since I only needed 20 or so cards, I got 1,000. Now I use them to write ideas on, you know, screen play musings, comic book ideas, games, short stuff that I can just jot down at random times when I get a shitty idea that just wont leave, then put them in a bin and come back to later and see if it really is worth more time. Who cares though, right?

Well, my most recent one may just be the most depressing video game of all time. The beginning is an idea I've been throwing back and forth for a year or so; Silent Hill rip-off where a pregnant lady wakes up in a hospital, but her baby isn't there and shit is making no sense and there are insane monsters all over the place, the normal stuff that would be fleshed out if I spent actual time on it and could draw. Through the normal story-interrupting cut-scene transitions, she goes from un-pregnant (or whatever it is called after you deliver the baby) and looking for her baby to being pregnant and trying to get out of there alive, slowly eroding her sanity and making her wonder which is reality. Standard genre crap, right? Yes, and because of that, I didn't even write the damn idea down, but now I have an ending which put a big enough anchor on it to warrant writing. In the end, after defeating some giant-finale-demon or some such final boss, the action ends, the climax comes, and the reason for the entire haunted hospital comes to light; she (the main character) is crazy, her baby died in that hospital at birth, and she's across town in a mental hospital going crazier and crazier trying to rationalize what happened. Yeah, that's right, the entire time you're trying to get out alive or save your baby, but the baby is already dead and you're in a mental asylum scratching pictures of said baby into your arm. Also, she wouldn't control like a World War 2 tank being driven by an alcoholic. EAT THAT SHIGERU MIYAMOTO.

Seriously, what can you even do with that? So if anyone wants to buy that idea and make it, in this economic environment, enough to get a couple full tanks of gas and some DS games should be enough. Then I can go on to writing for a children's show without permanently scarring my name. For a little less, I'll make it myself, but you'd have to feed me and put up with my retarded ideas, like my belief that if you make a large enough Kamikaze with long enough arms, you can break the speed of light eventually, and then use that to launch vehicles out in to space at such speeds.

In movie crap, saw The Ruins two weeks ago on Sunday, like I said I would. Pretty good movie. Not great, like I assumed it wouldn't be, but still pretty good, and the bad stuff, it wasn't like it was the directors fault for shoe-horning it in since the dude who did the screenplay also wrote the novel it was based on. Apparently all the CGI in Hollywood can't make screaming flowers and murderous vines not seem hokey. IMDb has it pretty much spot on with its rating, as a high 60s to low 70s fits pretty well. For horror films of this century though, it probably has an 80-something. And since when did Jena Malone stop looking like a young Jodie Foster/Helen Hunt and start looking hot? I'd totally add her on MySpace, but its a page for an experimental spoken-poetry thing band she's in, and I hate music and poetry.

Also, she was in Donnie Darko, so if she ever found out I thought that that movie was just an elaborate retelling of Weekend at Bernie's, but with emo undertones instead of Jonathan Silverman, something bad would happen. Someone who merely liked that movie hit me for saying that, so I'd hate to see how someone who was in it would react.

Man, its only been 8 months. That isn't nearly long enough. Ah well.

For no good reason, I'm planning on seeing The Ruins tonight. Its probably going to be okay since its getting an 8 out of 10 on IMDb, but the last couple movies I've seen have just been too good that it will probably pale in comparison. There Will be Blood, No Country for Old Men, The Orphanage, I doubt The Ruins will really be able to stand up to that. At least its rated R though. All these shitty PG-13 remakes are starting to roll together, so its about time that an actual horror film came out. Also, I haven't seen any previews in a while. Do films still exist 2 months from now?

Aside from all that crap, I got a DS around Christmas time and got ripped off for an Xbox late in le summer by a friend who was mvoing. All those shitty jokes Penny Arcade told are true!!! Controller is HUEG, lol. The DS is kind of weird though. All I have is Phoenix Wright games, an SNES remake, a GBA port and the newest Advance Wars. They need to make some new 2d action platformers or a new Wario Ware, or make it to where I don't have to go to eBay for a Castlevania game. I need something I can plow through between classes, not something with 30 minutes between save points.

Also, $35 for a portable game: fuck that. I want to love New Super Mario Bros. Why wont New Super Mario Bros let me love it?

I have the tv volume off since I'm listening to Yes, so my tv instantly goes to Closed Captions if the channel supports it. Some shit movie is on USA, and it starts out with a scene about dancing, and "The Macarena" is playing. How does CC deal with this?

["The Macarena"]

As if that's really a good reference point for the hearing impaired.

I've recently seen 2 pretty good horror films, 12 Angry Men compared to some of the shit I've seen since my new obsession with the genre.( Horror film crapCollapse )

In other news, "I've Seen All Good People" is fucking epic. Not really news I guess, but still. Especially the first part, the chess metaphor. In real news, China has MySpace. But unlike normal MySpace, you can't talk about certain things, like Falun Gong or Taiwanese independence, and if you see someone who does, you can "report the "misconduct" of other users for offenses including"endangering national security, leaking state secrets, subverting the government, undermining national unity, and spreading rumors or disturbing the social order."" Just like MySpace is here, but there's a new button where you can send others to prison. I assume it's under Block User and Rank User.

Lastly, in personal crap news, um, I'm taking Calculus 1 during summer school since I didn't end up getting a job; I'm not going to take any Comp Sci classes this Fall since they aren't offering C# or Intermediate Game Programming and I've exhausted C++ (among all sad realizations in my life, the realization that I'll actually miss taking a Comp Sci class for one semester is among the saddest); I still haven't done any writing on this PC, which is awful after 5 months; not much else. Still single, as probably evidenced by devoting majority text to horror reviews and the Chinese Internet (even though I do love me my Chinese Internet), the dog is shedding more since its summer, and no real interesting films are rolling down the pipe anytime soon.

Bien doritos boys 'n' girls.

Can a computer be existentialist?

If I were more informed or knowledgeable about the computer "thought" process, AI, and existentialism, that could be an essay or an article title/intro question or some other crap about the future of awareness or consciousness in computers. m-w.com, which is Websters website, defines existentialism as:
"A chiefly 20th century philosophical movement embracing diverse doctrines but centering on analysis of individual existence in an unfathomable universe and the plight of the individual who must assume ultimate responsibility for acts of free will without any certain knowledge of what is right or wrong or good or bad."
I have barely 2 years of programming experience, but from what I've seen, computers seem to make decisions based on commands or through evaluating the decisions available to them (the functions or programs available) and deciding which action will lead them to the desired outcome, return Success or whatever. Pretty much the same thing as humans, but with a far narrower definition of possible outcomes and with a greater ability to analyze outcomes known to them. But can one, without prompting, without it being programmed into the database, arriving to it of it's own will, question it's own programming? Is this a point that can possibly be reached by Artificial Intelligence, when it questions the options presented to it by it's own functions and wonders why other functions can't be present, without this questioning itself being a programmed function?

So can a computer (or other implementation of Artificial Intelligence) ever be an existentialist? It's just a question to throw against a wall that I started asking myself after reading a short article in mental_floss, which I scan through in order to make up for reading Fangoria at Barnes and Noble. Pretty weird question to just come up with, especially since the other ones seem to revolve around whether I could beat up Jesus and if Helen Keller ever got caught masturbating because she was deaf and blind.

Hey, at least I'm not asking about eating hypothetical zombies.

Nothing long, nothing important, just random thoughts and findings at 2am.

1- If you type "milf" into Wikipedia, you get sent to a page which kindly redirects you to a page about MILF, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. They're a conservative separatist Islamic group in the Philippines, so having a bunch of pornographic actresses in their 30s-50s and American Pie send people their way probably isn't ideal, but there's a saying about how any press is good press or something like that, so I doubt they'll complain. The external links are awesome though, with text such as "The MILF is the vanguard of the Islamic movement". Trying to fix it would be helpful, but would also involve signing up for Wikipedia since they seem to auto-revert everything not done by members, and I doubt I'd want to since the only things I see wrong on Wikipedia are random grammar bugs and bum links. Also, I was looking at random user-pages last week when searching for programming crap, and I came to the weird realization that most Wiki entry-makers exist to make 4chan users look good. With this knowledge in mind, I will continue to use the site and The History Channel for information. But mainly Wikipedia since The History Channel seems to focus on Hitler and jets, and I rarely talk about either.

2- A district chairman in Utah verbed into existence a resolution stating illegal immigration is a plan by Satan to invade and destroy the nation. Why they can't just settle this in the same way the solve the homeless problem - putting them on buses and shipping them to Las Vegas - is probably due to the fact that if they did, they wouldn't have anyone to sell them oranges on street corners.

3- There needs to be a cartoon/play/whatever where Dora the Explorer solves a murder. It would play out like the episode of South park where they pretend to be cops, but instead revolving around a girl who spends half the time trying to teach kids Spanish and the other half asking demeaning questions about obvious things, and her retarded monkey in boots. There would be cops taking it way too serious the entire time, and Dora would stare at the screen asking you if you see any probably murder weapons while a Puerto Rican guy lay dead in the corner and the blue monkey ran around freaking out. It would start out "There are some crimes which leave little or no evidence or have no viable suspects, leaving even the greatest of detectives befuddled. In ::wherever the fuck she lives since Wikipedia doesn't say and I don't care enough to look further::, the police turn to an outsider on such occasions. Her name... is Dora... Dora the Explorer."

4- Hindsight is a bitch. Looking back on what might have been is depressing if you do it right.

5- I came to the Economics-based conclusion, during all that Imus crud, that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have a vested interest in the continued existence of racism. It's nothing shocking or new, since it's the exact same for millions if not billions of people worldwide. Jack Thompson has a vested interest in the continued existence of violent video-games, because without them, he'd just jack off on his couch and be miserable; cops have a vested interest in crime continuing, because without it, there'd be no use for the job; Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton only seem to show up when some perceived instance of racism occurs, at which time someone goes on Jesse's show and apologizes for being racist and says how many black friends they have. Not even this could make the whole Imus thing interesting though, so I had to ignore the news for a week since it was nothing but hype coverage. Also, that's probably not how you use semicolons.

6- cout << "This is how you use semicolons." << endl ;

7- Fucking "Supply Lines". Seriously Rockstar. Fuck "Supply Lines". Way to ruin the great rc plane race from Vice City. Not even the "Freebird"-Tom Petty block on K-DST can make that mission even remotely bearable.

8- Trying to edit parts of vampires to make them seem realistic makes my head hurt.

This entry is all about procrastination. All about it. It's 3:30am, this was probably supposed to be a New Years entry, the survey I copied is from February, filled out on Saturday, and posted after I wasted at least 10 minutes playing Space Invaders with MySpace faces posted over and bad design with annoying sound. I need to get rid of the whole procrastination thing, especially since I now have my own PC with an Internet Connection that doesn't involve two cans and a string. I'm supposed to be doing stuff but I just zone out because the stuff I'm supposed to be doing is boring, and then I go and replace it with things that aren't even that interesting. Oh well, the weeks almost over, so I can concentrate on that shit this weeke...

Damn it.

As far as other shit goes, I got a DELL!!! It's on the desk and it's pretty and the air from it feels nice on my feet, and yeah, it has nice specs for everything I plan on stealing with it. And by that, I apparently mean Diablo 2 and some old comic books. Specs aren't important, but, um, the screen is thin and sound is nice, graphic card with 2 512mb GPUs, 2.66GHz Intel Dual processors, 2 gigs oh RAM, and it what makes for a nice foot stool when I'mma smokin mah corn-cobb pipe and watchin' the picture box while downloadin' some o' them nudie pictures off the series o' tubes. Also, last semester, I apparently did well enough in school (GWC still) for them to send me a letter saying they'll no longer leave tennis balls out for me to steal. I'm taking 16 units this semester and fighting my procrastination to do well again, so hopefully that happens again too. I have yet to do any writing on my new PC besides some shit for an English class, which is one of the things I swore I would do once I no longer had to write stuff down and go to a different room to type it, so I think I might also like to fix that. All that, and I have to get further in San Andreas (I 100% Vice City in December or something) than one save a month and do some cool shit in Morrowind as a reward for not procrastinating anymore. Slicing up undeserving shop keepers or advancing skills enough to jump over walls and pick locks naked, that kind of shit. I'd try Oblivion out, but since I still haven't got the procrastinating under raps, I'm afraid I'd turn into some zombie if I bought it.

Here's a survey to flesh the entry out, etc etc etc.

( Bla bla bla bla survey, oiCollapse )

And apparently I need to learn about Internet templates so I can insult VH1. When the fuck did that happen? I did 3 or 4 Franklin Delano Roosevelt cripple jokes today (Tuesday for the time Nazis since I'm 5 minutes from bed), so maybe it's KARMIC REVENGE!!! but I doubt it since I didn't even mention that he married a small-distance cousin. Lyndon B. Johnson though, that guy would kick an orphan just for winking at him wrong.

If you eat a zombie, do you become a zombie?

That's the subject to this post, but I actually want an answer, so I posted it again. It's philosophy and shit. School started Monday and I'm going and everything's is fine, but none of that has provided me with knowledge as to whether you could survive out at sea or somewhere else by eating zombies if zombies invaded the world. All the kings horses and al the kings men, but how many of them can bring me my answer?

In other news, I bought a book after judging it by it's cover ("The Town That Forgot How to Breath"), I'm seeing The Wicker Man remake this weekend because I'm a sadist (I saw the original, and it was good, but this remake will probably only give me the satisfaction of seeing the guy from Gone in Sixty Seconds burned alive), I finally finished my Home Movies dvd collection (I've yet to watch season 4 though), and I'm playing GTA Vice City because I forget what year it is.

The Descent is still in theaters, but I kind of want that to stop because then I'll be able to buy the dvd sooner. Pulse is still in theaters, but I want that to stop so that I can start collecting all the reels and burning them so no one has to ever deal with that shit ever again. American remakes of Japanese films seem to only lead me to not want to see the originals because the lonely feelings and isolation of everyone from everyone else, even in a crowded city, doesn't really feel right when set in an American city. Also, they suck awful and aren't scary at all, but that isn't very analitical so much as it's just me being an impatient horror fan who dislikes being ripped off.

Wow, something you've never seen on LJ before; crap you didn't really want to know about people you barely talk to.

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Copy to your journal, putting an X in front of those you've never done. Be sure to add one additional thing you've never done to the list.


(X) I have never been drunk
(X) I never have smoked pot
(_) I never have kissed a member of the opposite sex
(X) I never have kissed a member of the same sex
(X) I never crashed a friend's car (no, whenever there's a car crash, the person who's car it is is driving)
(X) I have never been to Japan
(X) I never rode in a taxi
(X) I never have been in love (I've said it and all, but I don't really know if it was true, which is probably a great show of character)
(X) I never had sex
(X) I never have had sex in public
(_) I never have been dumped
(X) I never shoplifted
(X) I never have been fired
(X) I have never cut myself on purpose (no, but I shave, so maybe)
(X) I never have been in a fist fight
(X) I never had a 3-some
(_) I never snuck out of my parent's house (yeah, but nothing exciting ever happened)
(_) I never have been tied up (I've been handcuffed a couple times if that counts)
(X) I never been caught masturbating
(_) I never pissed on myself
(X) I never had sex with a member of the opposite sex (didn't I already do this one)
(X) I never have been arrested (the handcuffs have only ever been assholes, not cops)
(X) I never made out with a stranger
(X) I never stole anything from my job
(X) I never celebrated New Year's in Time Square
(X) I never went on a blind date
(_) I never lied to a friend (I'm an expert)
(_) I never had a crush on a teacher
(X) I never celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
(X) I never have been to Europe
(_) I never skipped school (before highschool, no, after, yes)
(X) I never slept with a co-worker
(X) I never have been fisted and/or have fisted anyone (wow, um, ok, but almost ::creepy wink emoticon::)
(X) I never have thrown up in a bar (just cars and my own bathroom)
(X) I never have purposely set myself on fire
(X) I never have eaten sushi
(_) I never have been snowboarding (if you want to call what I did "snowboarding")
(_) I never have been happy with myself (nah, I beat videogames all the time)
(X) I never have met a movie star
(X) I never had sex in a pool
(X) I never went to a prom
(X) I never bungee jumped
(X) I never have been to a pop concert (just rock crap, no t-shirts with faces on them)
(X) I never have dated someone for over a year
(X) I never sold naked pictures of myself (no, I just put them in Christmas cards)
(_) I have never been in a car accident
(_) I have never seen a dog naked (um, ok)
(X) I have never slept in the nude
(X) I have never had a one night stand.
(X) I've never eaten cheesecake
(_) I have never colored my hair (green, once, and then I almost missed Return of the Jedi because I was too shy to go out in public)
(X) I've never defeated a Legend of Zelda game
-------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, you can tell I've got nothing to say because I'm doing some random ass meme I found surfing the Internet head wound society. As far as crap with me goes, you know, besides this informative ass survey, I just recently beat the mech strategy game I was playing through (Front Mission 4, and yeah, war was averted and Russians were defeated, so everything worked out) so I'm back to RE4 after a little break, looking for work in a lazy ass way that avoids actually finding any but wastes lots of gas, trying to enjoy summer, and trying to figure out why no one wants me to buy their next-gen console. My next entry will probably be about that actually, so just zone out now. Important work and all that shit.

Nothing all that important to say, but still, you have to feed these things or they die. I have to find another mech game now, because I'm a friggin' addict. Stupid e-bay, why do you mock me?!!??!? I also need to kick my recently renewed Atomic Fireballs addiction. I had to use all my willpower today (2 hours ago today) to stop at 4. Just... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.