The Secret World of Meg

So a lot of you have probably seen the movie "But I'm a Cheerleader." Funny movie, good movie, but very sadly, a truthful movie. When I first saw it, I laughed at the idea of such a camp as that depicted in the movie...a 50's style mind-set, unbelivable brainwashing, and just the whole idea of a camp made to turn gay people straight. However, recently it's been brought to my attention that such "reorientation" camps do still exist, and are even semi-rampant in our country. I guess I wasn't too surprised when I discovered a boy's journal on myspace.com speaking of such a camp, but as I read further through the rules that said camp had set in place, and also the reasons for those rules, I couldn't believe that what I was reading was sincere. I investigated even further into one organization that hosts a "refuge camp" and felt my stomach turn, as I discovered just how real the ambition of these people is. Please, if you have any love in your heart and/or plain sense in your head, read on and do something to help the poor individuals who are forced into these types of camps every day across your own country...

( The Audacity of Some PeopleCollapse )

To think that you can change someone from homosexual to hetersexual is assinine in the least. But to force them to attend such a program that demeans the essence of their being in most cases, is downright cruel. Minors who's parents believe these programs are legitimate and right have no choice but to attend them, sometimes causing perminent psychological damage, and at best severely weakening their self image and self-esteem. Please, please find it in your heart to speak out for those who cannot or will not speak out for themselves. People held prisoner by their own parents in camps that only hinder their ability to live life to it's fullest. Protest, and speak out...because to someone who's in a reorientation program, your voice is a sense of hope, and it's all they have. Because with enough voices, maybe someday there will be real acceptance for people of all orientations and sexual preferences.

AH! So I haven't updated in a WHILE b/c there really hasn't been too much to update about...ho-hum and so-so days are not what everyone wants to hear about right? Well, Bill's still at Sanmina, I'm still working with his mom until mid June or so, and money's flowing pretty damn good now hehe...we're looking into some apartments tomorrow and will hopefully be moved out in not too long! now for the big news...

ME AND BILL ARE OFFICIALLY ENGAGED! I got my AWESOME ring this morning (Monday the 2nd) and it's BEAUTIFUL...ask me for a pic if you wanna see it =) It's set low in white gold and is princess cut...I LOVE it

I'm SO excited about being married to him...AHHHHH....I don't know where or when the weddings going to be yet, but I can tell you it'll be early-mid fall or so and it's going to be a nice, small thing =)

i'm so in love...=) *dreamy smile* hehe

So as most (if not all) of you know, the Day of Silence has passed, and though it had great symbolic effects for the people involved (and maybe some who weren't), but didn't really advance the movement it stood for at all. I'm asking for your opinion on a thought that's been brought up by many people on and off-line...

A Day of Noise. I propose we all stand up for who we are and what we believe in. Stand up against bullies, make people aware of who you are, wear rainbows and banners that show what and who you believe in and support! It's a day of recognition, not a day of hiding! Pass out flyers, hold rallies and raise picket signs...don't be afraid to demonstrate for your cause and don't be afraid to show your true colors!

This day wouldn't just be for any group of people, no following or minority, but a day against all hate and all discrimination anyone in the world experiences. Let people know that discrimination is unjustified and is NOt ok in any form. Let people know that people cannot help who they are. let people know that they can be proud of who they are, no matter what society or anyone else tells them and that they aren't alone.

Anything to add? Comments? Questions? i'm just trying to get the idea out there...not sure what day it would be or anything, as I just kind of thought of this tonight after reading some other people's thoughts on the Day of Silence.

In recent news, BIll's getting a job with kelly again, which means, probably sanmina soon...5 8s, so hopefully it wont be such a hecktic sleeping schedule. he starts sunday already! we'll finally have some cash again, which feels very nice and very secure...now it's just time for me to get on my parents' asses about my birth certificate!

In other news: today was pretty interesting, and it's going to make a long story, so i'll make sure to cut for friends' pages...

( Read more...Collapse )

SO...the point of the story is...we had a reefer fish on the car, guy saw us as an easy bust, was SO worried about the weed bust he KNEW he smelled, that he 1. didn't take ciggs from a 17 yr old, 2. didn't notice bill's seatbelt, 3. didn't confiscate the minor's lighters and ILLEGAL knife, 4. didn't call the minor's parents, even though he was SURE it wa sa situation involving weed, and 5. probably missed say, 10 speeders, 4 cars with drugs in them, 5 unregistered and/or unliscensed cars in the 40 mins or so we were stopped there

you know, i don't hate cops, and i'm glad they're around for the most part...but it pisses me off when they abuse their power and are dick heads...he didn't even say he was sorry when he found ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on us or in the car and made us stand in the freezing cold for so long
and there's NO way our car smelled like weed b/c NO ONE has smoked in there in SOOOO long and we ALL had a ciggarette on the way up AND back and i had one in between...GAH

so i ended up telling my dad the story so now he and my mom know i smoke b/c i left in the ciggarettes part specifically to tell them b/c i'm almost 18, there's no reason for them not to know i smoke

so that's all there is to it, i'm staying up all night tonight, watching kids tomorrow for mom...yay!

The End

so the past few days have sucked. i started feeling sick, oh, about thursday or so, then it got worse and worse until yesterday, now i'm starting to feel better and able to eat and go outside and whatnot lol...btw, nyquil and dayquil are GREAT! they make me feel loopy though hehe

in other news, i ate dinner at my parents' house last night with my sisters, kurt, my nieces, and my parents...my nieces are the cutest things, man, i love them! the night before last, i went down to my rents' house, and my mom let me sit in the front seat b/c i was sick, which put her between the two carseats in the back of amy's kia...so abby looks at her and says "gamma, where's your carseat, gamma??" lol then she says "get offa me, gamma!" lmao she's hilarious

so i'm thinking that i'll dye my hair a neat shade of purple when i get a job...hopefully thompsons calls this week, otherwise i'm giving up on that one...i really hope i get a job soon though, i mean, god, there's all these people who work for a week, quit, work for a week, quit, to stay on their welfare that get jobs all the time, but me, who WANTS to work, and work my ass off if needed at that, can't find shit...gah, the world is topsy turvy and it really doesn't look like it's going to be in my favor for a long time...

haha so i saw on the news yesterday, apparently there's records that show that GW did drugs before he was president...HELLO! big fuckin surprise! lmao...however, he doesn't specify WHICH Drugs *coughCOKEcough* which would make for a big deal i would think...i wonder how republicans will respond to one of their beloved leaders doing drugs after the big deal over clinton toking up...hmmmm, this will prove interesting OR non-suprising, depending on how they react, either blowing up at bush like they did at clinton and making a horrible deal of it (HAHAHAHA!) OR brushing it off as something in the past that should be swept under the rug like they do for all members of their party, making excuses to get people out of embarassment's way ;)

ok, well, enough with my ranting, i think this journal entry has been long enough lol cya all =)

Jealousy and/or envy is a shitty feeling. i mean, i say i don't get it, like, ever, but i guess i do, and i understand that it sucks, because i feel it now, and mine's even over something small, while there are much bigger things to have it over. and to who it matters to, i'm sorry i didn't realize how it felt before...i love you, bill

and with that said, i'm very jealous. over what i can't say, but i am and it sucks...something to great just outside your reach, i'd LIKE to think anyway, it's really across the street, 2 houses down, 6 states over, a continent away, and 2 plants out of my reach, but all at the same time it's right in front of me the entire time...it's not something i'm sad about really, just really jealous and i guess, longing for. not longing in the sad sense, but longing in the my body aches for it sense, like i feel about summer right now, but without the butterflies...now i'm ranting and i'll stop, sorry

in other news, the past couple days have been a bit shitty, but i think things are looking up now and will get better soon...

me and bill are getting sick, he's self medicating (grrrr), but i may end up going to the doctor...anyone know of a good one? i left my lifelong family doctor b/c she was a quack and my mother finally realized it, and i tried another, but she's a crude old bat who's too painful for my taste. so if you know of a good one, lemme know before may b/c i don't want some old bat who hurts my fricken hand and toe so bad fuddling in my hoohah, thank you very much...haha TMI but oh well, if you know me, you know there's never TMI

that's all she wrote

SO yesterday was an AWESOME day =) Me and Bill woke up around 1, I put in an application at Thompson's, and we went on our firt geocaching adventure. We started out in Endicott at the Vetran's Memorial, bu couldn't find the cache, so we left and cut over to Vestal to the nature trail, after a bit of looking for parking cooridinants. We walked a good distance on the paved trail, then cut off onto a dirt trail and walked a good distance more, going over a short wooden bridge and seeing lots of deer poop lol. We finally found our coordinants and looked around a bit before seeing the pretzel jar inside a big tree. We took a pic, then got out the jar, signed the notebook, took silly puddy and a deck of cards and left a hemp necklace, 2 jelly bracelets, and a frog keychain. It was THE funnest day i've had in a long time and I can't wait to do it again!

Speaking of doing it again, we can't today b/c it's fucking snowing again, BLAH...=/ I'm so sick of NY winters, you have no idea. I just want to move to a place where it's nice and warm all year round.

Last night Jamie hung out and watched Bridget Jones' Diary with us...she's a sweetheart and i love er. It was a pretty good movie too =)

Then Mike came over and played a bunch of socom. We got high and I took a couple hour nap, seeing as the night before last, I only got about 2 hours of sleep, and then we went for a walk around good ol' Owego. We got back and I passed out, and Bill went to sleep too.

This morning, we woke up around 10:30, and Bill's getting his taxes done at 11. I wont go, b/c i'm a dirt ball, lol. I have to clean today too, blah...at least it's just a little cleaning. Then ho knows what I'll do, I'm spontanious like that...not really, I just have no life, therefore, no plans lol

That's all she wrote

Sometimes I feel like the world is spinning too fast and I can't keep up. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's just being young, but I feel that way a lot lately. I know I probably shouldn't be so stressed, because my probalems and stresses and miniscule compared to a lot of other people's and I don't want to seem like a drama queen, but I don't know, it's hard to bear through sometimes. I just have to remind myself that people go through shit, every minute of every day and if they make it through that, I can make it through my stuff. I guess I'm just ranting, but it feels good to rant sometimes. The world is going topsy-turvy and I don't know if it's always been this way and I just haven't noticed until now, or if it's just changing so much for the worse, but it's making me think twice about some important future issues that I thought I had figured out. I guess nothing's set in stone and I need to be more flexible, but I hate change, and frankly, I'm scared of what lies ahead of me. People do always fear what they don't understand or know, right? Life's so complicated, sometimes I envy people who can just say fuck it...I can't do that, I care too much, I stress too much, I think too much, I worry too much...I guess it's part of being my age, though, right? I just hope things even out soon...and I hope the world rights itself soon too...if it ever will...

So today i woke up at...well, I didn't wake up, I stayed up all night playing socom...I joined a really cool clan with a big fat guy. Then Bill and I went to Walmart and got some things at around 4AM, then came home and played more socom. Then we went out for a smoke and came back in, he went to sleep and I read the paper. Then I got online, talked to weirdo Andrew for a while, watched some TV, and now I'm here...Writing about nothing...

I DID find the perfect looking girl though. Shannyn Sossamon. She's HOT and I want her badly...although, there's a girl I think is hotter right now but I can't say who b/c then she'll find out...damn, I feel like i'm 12 again HA

My ear and throat itch.

I'm watching Blue Crush...what a great movie, right? Yeah, well, that's what Sunday TV gets ya.

Today I plan on vegging all day, playing socom, and tomorrow applying to Thompson's...GAH

Here's the story of my life in song form:

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
What it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab...
-Alanis Morissette

And that's all she wrote...

Stolen from my honey =)

INDENTIFICATION

1. Name: Meg Lindhorst
2. Natural Hair Color: Dark Brown
3. Hair Color Currently: Kinda Dark Purply-Brownish-Reddish?? lol
4. Eye Color At Birth: Hazel
5. Eye Color Currently: Hazel
6. Height: 5'2"
7. Glasses/Contacts: Used to have glasses, but not anymore b/c I lost them and don't want another pair
8. Birthday: July 14th, 1987
9. Sign: Cancer
10. Current Age: 17
11. Siblings Names: Beth (I call her Sissy), and Amy...two Brother-in-Laws, Kurt and Andy
12. Location: Owego, NY
13. School Attending: none at the moment
14. Current Grade:
15. GPA:
16. College Plans: not absolutely sure yet, probably BCC next Spring
17. College Major:
18. College Minor:
19. Any Piercings: nope
20. Any Tattoos: None as of yet, but hopefully one soon

SOCIAL LIFE:
1. Girl Friend(s): Heidi, Meghan, Jamie
2. Guy Friend(s): Bill, Mike, Will, CJ, Jud, Andrew, Jon H
3. Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Husband/Wife: Bill =)
4. Current Crush: Can't say that in here, now can I?
5. Are You Center Of Attention Or Wallflower: Depends on my mood and the situation
6. What Type Automobile Do You Drive: No license and no permit, but i have a shit ass car you can buy i fyou want it
7. What Type Automobile Do You Wish You Drove: In the perfect world where gas prices and polution don't exist? a Black Hummer H2, but realistically? I really want a green El Camino
8. Would You Rather Be With Friends Or On A Date: Depends on the people/person, but I like both
9. Where Is The Best Hangout: Our house, Guys and Dolls, and Walmart
10. Do You Have A Job: Currently looking b/c my old job closed, not that it didn't suck anyway

PERSONAL:
1. Who Is Your Role Model: I don't know if I really have one
2. What Are Your Pet Peeves: When people try to convert me and/or tell me I need god, forks scratching plates, and when you get bread stuck to the roof of your mouth
3. Have You Ever Been In Love: Yes
4. Have You Ever Cried Over The Opposite Sex: Ha, Yes
5. Do You Have A "Type" Of Person You Always Go After: I guess I like Manly, but not chauvinistic guys (not that I'm reall yinto guys other than Bill lol) and girls, I guess just nice girls, you gotta be nice
6&7. Ever Wanted To Get Revenge on Someone Because They Hurt You: Not that it's a good thing, but of course
8. Ever Been Cheated On: Probably in the past
9.Ever Said I Love You To A Significant Other: Yes
10. Rather Be Dumper Or Dumped: neither, but if I had to choose, dumped, b/c I don't like hurting people
11. Rather Have A Relationship Or A "Hookup": Relationship, but hookups aren't bad sometimes haha
12. Want Someone You Don't Have Right Now? yeah, kind of lol
13. Ever Liked Your Best Guy/Girl Friend? yep
14. Do You Want To Get Married: yes =)
15. Do You Want Kids: Lately I've been wondering if I want to bring an innocent, unasked for, life into this fucked up world, but I probably will at some point =/
16. Do You Believe In Psychics: Eh, I believe some people just have a knack at knowing things, like ESP, but I don't think they can talk to the dead or whatnot
17. Do You Believe You Know The Person Who You Are Going To Marry At This Point In Life: yep =)
18. What Is Your Favorite Part Of Your Body: haha probably my boobs, but i like my forearms a lot too
19. What Is Your Favorite Part Of Your Emotional Being: my niceness
20. Are You Happy With Yourself: I'm pretty happy with myself, but we all need to improve
21. Are You Happy With Your Life: things could always be better, but overall, yep
22. Are You Scared Right Now?: mmmmm nope, i feel pretty safe =)
23. Depressed?: Nope
24. If You Could Change Something In Your Life Right Now, What Would It Be: I'd have infinatemoney, but everyone would
25. Say Something To Someone That May Or May Not Read This That You've Never Told Them, But Need To: lol I can't say that here

Favorites
1. Sports Team: I'm not too into sports, but I like the Binghamton Senetors
2. Room In House: Our bedroom
3. Girl's Name: I like lily and Jade
4. Guy's Name: Vai =)
5. Person to talk to about your problems: Bill and Jamie
6. Song: Oh lordy, I couldn't pick, but I really like Hand in My Pocket, Dragula, Fever for the Flava, and Voodoo
7. Beverage: Milk with ice, water, and juice
8. Family Member: man oh man...Sissy or Abby I suppose...oh and Uncle Larry =)
9. Salad Dressing: Ranch, but I really like homemade Italian too
10. Blanket/Stuffed Animal: Tony, my Tiger from my mom
11. Favorite quote from a movie: "Big mistake, Big....HUGE!" - Pretty woman
12. Day of The Week: saturday
13. Color: Dark red and Olive green
14. Perfume And Cologne: Curve or cool water
15. TV Shows: CSI, Nip/Tuck, the mommy swap shows, Girls Behaving Badly
16. Flower: Tulips
17. Fast Food Place: I like them all, but I love McDonalds salads
18. Teacher: Mrs. Mendelis, 10th grade english
19. Love SONG: martina mcbride - valentine, or Pearl Jam - Last Kiss
20. Clothing: Jeans, bootcut and Very low rise...and long thin long sleeved shirts
21. Possession: hmmmmmm, probably my computer
22. Vacation Spot: anywhere warm and beachy
23. Person To Get Advice From: I usually don't ask people for advice
24. Movie: Pretty Woman, Underworld, Waterworld, anything scary

THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE U:
1. Cried: nope
2. Bought Something: gas and food
3. Gotten Sick: yeah, I've felt sick for the past 4 days =/
4. Saying: Of course I've talked! (Proves there are stupid questions)
5. Eaten: Duh
6. Been Kissed: many times =)
7. Felt Stupid: not that I remember
8. Said I Love You: many times =)
9. Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved him/her, But Didn't: Nope
10. Met Someone New: probably someone online, but not really MET
11. Moved On: mmmmm I guess that happens everyday, right?
12. Missed An Ex: Nope

There you have it, a peek inside Meg