Plant your hope with good seeds

Thank you very much for the well wishes on the previous post. I'm still a mess, but we're persevering! I'm supposed to be released for work on the 10th, but I don't think I'll actually be starting back until the 15th. Which is good, because I'm going through hella withdrawals from duloxetine. XD;;

I somehow read six books over the month of May! The Sworn Soldier series by T. Kingfisher (What Moves the Dead, What Feasts at Night, and What Stalks the Deep) started out very strong, but the third wasn't quite my jam.

We Are Always Tender With Our Dead by Eric LaRocca was a surprise! I decided to read this after the author gathered up bad reviews and used them as testimonials. What a weird, quietly horrific, ride. I devoured it; I haven't read like this in years. ] I'm looking forward to the sequel, even though I'm not entirely sure why. I'm not attached to any of these characters but the actions they take are awful and fascinating, and I'm really interested in seeing where this goes.

They Fear Not Men in the Woods by Gretchen McNeil was a book I'd read no reviews for, just picked it out because of the title, cover, and because I love natural horror. This was so good with a surprise queer relationship that I loved. It was a little slow to start and I think there were a few more characters than there needed to be (but we must have cannon fodder!), but I ended up loving this.

Down by Ally Bloom was very enjoyable....except the main romance. XD; I don't actually have a ton of tolerance for romance in books, but I didn't realize that until I started reading this book. I found myself incredibly frustrated with the two main dudes; all of the side characters were far more interesting. But it was still a good ride. :)

I've signed up for Art Fight! for the first time! I need to get all of my OCs in order! I need to create character references! I'm very excited to participate. :3 I have at least four WH40k OCs but I'm sure I can come up with more OCs in different fandoms/original work to add. :D Oh, Yesun Gesi, my warrior of light! I'm frantically drawing reference pictures and this has been so helpful in figuring out color schemes, weapon loadouts, and armor details. OH MY ROGUE TRADER! :D

Anyways, I have so many things to draw, I can't wait. :D

EDIT: I wrote everything above a couple of days ago, so now I am continuing from TODAY. I really need to start dating when I start writing a post, because the post will be open for days and I'll add onto it but sometimes that messes up context and shit. ANYWAYS. I have talked to my boss, they are VERY EXCITED to have me back (yay!), and I'm going down to four days a week. Prozac causes a bit of mania and also DREAMS, which I HATE, I haven't dreamt since becoming a habitual weed smoker and I LIKE IT THAT WAY. So I'm going to switch to taking in the morning and see if that helps.

cypher and I watched Mortal Kombat (2021), they for the first time, and you know what? I liked it much better this go-round. I freaking love the actors for Sonya, Jax, and Kano, and OH MY GOD LIU KANG IS ADORABLE??? Anyways. Still eagerly awaiting MK2 (which I just looked up and is available for streaming! when I get my first check, we're having a living room date night!). I'm just really proud that we managed to sit down and watch something! That was my first movie since last May. Of 2025. And much longer for Will! Kinda proud it was Mortal Kombat that broke that streak for us. XD

cypher and I have been married a full year! That's wild! I mean, we've been together since 2019 and have been living together since 2020, but you know. Marriage! :D But yes, yesterday was our one year anniversary; we went to lunch at a nearby Mexican restaurant that I'd never been to and they hadn't been to in over six years. It was delicious! I did get a flight of margaritas (mango, blueberry, and tamarind) and extremely tasty enchiladas (salsa verde for Will and mole for me). The vibes were immaculate! It was busy but still chill and everyone seemed to be in a great mood. It was just, ah, so nice.

Will baked this adorable cake! Extremely tasty, please admire!


And I had bought this super cute card set:

with card hits like this that you then decide which one you want to do and scratch it off to see what exactly it is!
(we didn't do this one, it's just an example)

We picked one that was free and only took an hour and scratched it off to reveal a "Try Not to Laugh" challenge! We did something similar, which was queue up some Real Facts videos by ZeFrank on the TV and laugh as much as we want. It was so nice! We're both really bad at watching things so it was nice to pile on the couch together and watch something funny but informative, haha. It was really, really nice to cuddle and laugh together. ;3;

Unfortunately not all is well in Nanland. My dog Selphie has been acting a little odd lately. Panting a lot, drinking a lot, peeing a lot, not having any energy. We ended up getting her an emergency appointment and at first, the vet assumed both diabetes and Cushing's but after bloodwork, it definitely looks more like Cushing's. She's gonna have to spend the day at the vet on Monday while they figure out her medication dosages and then she'll likely be on them for the rest of her life. ;3; But all my research tells me that after she's on medication she'll be doing so much better. Which is a relief! I miss my little hiking pal. ;3;

But in better pet news, a couple of nights ago I was watching youtube videos with Dale (my bearded dragon). Lil man climbed to my back, nuzzled his snoot into the hair behind my ear, and went to sleep. ;o; Aaaaahhhh I love him a lot. <3

And in gardening news! Radishes, beets, and turnips going strong, lettuces thriving, and tomatoes started. I feel like it's been kind of a slow start for gardening but I suspect last year we jumped the gun a bit for getting things started. XD; Gotta contain the enthusiasm for when it's actually warm enough!

I live for the applause. XD; I've gotten some very nice comments on the Victor/Leon post and I've just been om nom nomming them up. ;3; I know we're supposed to write for ourselves and all, but I. I love comments. And I managed to reply to all of them, because I want to be that person, I want people to know I appreciate them taking the time to comment. Weh. ;/////; Comments. ;3;

Friday is my Sunday and I don't waaaant to go back to work tomorrow, I want to stay home and watch jacksepticeye play Resident Evil Village and figure out why people ship Ethan/Chris (not a dig, I'm very intrigued by the idea!). It's a short workday, even! I need to be an adult about it instead of such a baby. :(

AND THEN I LEFT THIS OPEN and it is now Saturday, a workday, which is only 1:30p-6:30p, but I don't know how to not think about work before going in. It's frustrating. :\ Gonna do some laundry and try and focus on anything else.

So, uh. Unexpected emergency dental surgery yesterday! ( Nothing terribly gruesome )

So yeah, anyways, recovering from that! I already feel a bit better, thank you antibiotics.

I have written my first fic in a long time because of Resident Evil Requiem. I just need to get it all typed up and in the same place, haha. I'm really excited! It's Victor Gideon/Leon Kennedy because what can I say, I'm a monsterfucker. XD;

(I kinda think that's why I have no interest in Heated Rivalry, both because they're just dudes and also because they get together canonically; that's fucking boring! I only like sex/romance when I already give a shit about the characters, which is why fandom is where I live)

cypher and I are going to Norwescon in April I'm a SO EXCITED. I haven't been to a con in like. Nine years, I think? It has been A WHILE. And it's a four day con and there's lots of fun things to do on Thursday and Friday! So I won't even need to take work off for it. :D I have planned out Thursday already, even though everyone knows how plans fail.

Click to embiggen!

There are SO MANY PANELS but we've narrowed it down to the ones we actually want to attend. I'm so excited. Aaaaahhh. :D I am so delighted. And this con is held literally twelve minutes from my house so why have I never gone? Who knows. Time to fix that now.

EDIT: Also, amazing news, Will paid off the house! It is now ours, free and clear (except for taxes!). The car will be paid off by the end of this month! Finances going....okay? WHEW.

Birthday was the 13th! I'm officially 40! I do not think I have the maturity levels to be a 40 year old! I smoke too much weed and forget laundry in the wash and stay up too late just to regret it deeply in the morning. Shit's crazy. But as Guillermo del Toro said, "As a kid, I dreamed of having a house with secret passages and a room where it rained 24 hours a day. The point of being over 40 is to fulfill the desires you've been harboring since you were 7." So...idek what 7 year old me desired, but it was probably something to do with being happy, so that's what I'm aiming for.

cypher and I played Warhammer 40k: Kill Team today! They with their Plague Marines and me with my Hernkyn Yaegir team. It was a slow match at first but soon there was fierce battling. It ended up being 7 (me) to 10 (them). It was A LOT of fun and I think I learned some things. We're trying to get good enough that we can play in public, haha.

I heard of spikedluv's passing. It's always so surreal when someone in fandom dies. Like...we're not supposed to do that? I don't know. It's strange. We were not friends but we ran in shared fandom circles and she was such a presence on DW. My heart goes out to all who knew her. <3

Hello! I'm Nan! She/her, 39 (turning 40 in February, whoa), and I've been in fandom for most of my life (got started as a wee 13 year old). It has been my main source of friends and interaction through the years. I've been in many, many fandoms over the years; HP, MCU, Final Fantasy (primarily 8, 12, 15, and a Realm Reborn), LOTR. I'm currently neck deep in Warhammer 40k fandom but I'm trying to spread my wings, take in new and different media, and hopefully gather a fun little collection of fandoms. :D I started out as a fanfic author but nowadays I'm primarily a fanartist, although I would really love to get more words out in 2026. I typically ship m/m but I enjoy drawing porn, romance, and gen art. :3

I live in Seattle with cypher, four cats, a dog, and a bearded dragon. I work an extremely non-glamorous job that I enjoy a lot.

I want to be more present in fandom and on DW, as both of these give me sanity but man, am I terrible and staying focused (I have diagnosed ADHD), lmaoooo.

Links!
nan
lore-pls
BlueSky
The StoryGraph
Letterboxd (gonna try so hard to use this more this year!)

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! Happy Thursday to everyone else! ♥ We made a small ham, Will made fruit bread, and I made three recipes from the Elder Scrolls cookbook; saltrice porridge, stewed apple and cheese, and double-baked potatoes! it was very tasty and all came together pretty easily!


We had a baking plate just the right size for our little ham~ ♥ Honestly such a tasty little spread. We also had apple cider simmering in the crockpot all day so the house smelled so good and warm and cozy.

Also! A coworker needed to rehome her bearded dragon and I simply could not say no. So meet Dale (that's the name he came with, I'll be changing it but I don't know to what yet)! I got him and his enclosure for free but everyone knows there's no such thing as a free pet; I've already spent over $200 on getting him all set up. And today I was able to hold him for the first time. It was lovely.



He's a little guy and I'm already very fond of him.

Anyways! I'm rolling myself off to bed. I'm grateful for all of you and for our little home on the internet here. ♥ ♥ ♥

Job is going well! I completed my first week with no freakouts and crying, which is pretty great, and the knowledge that I'm bringing from previous experience has proven to be incredibly useful. It's possible I have a higher expectation for my job than my boss does, which is an interesting feeling (I shaved a pup's paw pads pretty sloppily but she said they looked great???? thank you). A lot of the things I struggle with are the extra security measures a corporate bather needs to take. For example, always making sure a lead is on the dog, even if you're just moving them from the bath to the drying table; in the small business grooming salon I worked at before, things were a lot more lackadaisical (I would just pick the dog up and move them myself, easy peasy).

Also, learning new software to check-in/checkout clients is also a thing. But it's pretty straightforward so I'm learning quickly, I think. :3 Oh, and getting my confidence back when it comes to interacting with strangers, which for the most part I'm already there.

(getting paid weekly is AMAZING and so good for my ADHD when I'm like where is my reward for doing this work, boom there it is! and also I LOVE BUYING PET SUPPLIES FOR MY OWN LIL BABIES it's very enjoyable to me, hehe)

Bluesky leadership continues to shit the bed. It continues to be so frustrating. :\a

Kinktober continues pretty well, although I'm a bit stumped for day 5. I was set on doing voyeurism but that's not really a kink I vibe well with. Although I'm working a fic (of all things!) that I could add a little bit to, to make it work for that prompt. :\a

I'm finding myself pulled into the Darkest Dungeon fandom, by which I mean I kinda of want to draw them all for eatdrinkmakemerry. The game itself is so weirdly comforting to me; going off on horrific adventures and then coming back to drink/gamble/romance their stress away. It's got a nice groove going for it and I just recently completed a long quest for the first time! I've not played the sequel at all because I've heard they have very different play styles and I really, really love the play style of the first one.

I'm already tired of fall. XD; Please give me the sun back. I don't even care about the warms, I just want the sun, thank you. Getting dark before 7pm is terrible.

I think that's all I wanted to share today. I hope you are all doing well and I'm planning on getting some comments out there soon. :3

We're not quite there yet but it certainly feels like fall! There's leaves on the ground, the weather has chilled, and the harvest has been bountiful!


The first BIG harvest! And probably the biggest one, although I do keep bringing more and more in. My first year of really trying is going so well! And also four pints of homemade tomato sauce! We have a deep freezer so I'm going to just freeze them (these are freezer-safe). This is just half of the sauce tomatoes in the picture above, so we should have another four cans there, and there's also SO MANY GREEN TOMATOES STILL OUTSIDE. I'm monitoring night-time temps and as soon as it gets too chilly (below 50s), I'll be bring all the tomatoes in to finish ripening on the counter.

Also started a bunch of greens (broccoli, bok choi, chard) to hopefully get some nice cool weather crops popping off. I have plants to further rabbit proof the gardens before these little babies go out, since the rabbits have such a preference for leafy greens. :\

In terms of fandom, eatdrinkmakemerry is gearing up! This is one of my absolute favorite exchanges for making cozy, seasonal works. ;3; Which is not the only thing acceptable for this exchange, it's just my go-to because I love cozy bullshit, hahaha. The 2025 info post is here, if y'all would like more information and maybe like to nominate when noms open. Bring your friends! Let's have a good fandom time! <3

I admit to kind of failing in fandom lately; just not really have the focus for it. So I hope that this helps out with that. ;3;

It's also the time of year where spooky watch lists are being dropped and this one caught my eye:


Some of these I probably won't watch (The Fall of the House of Usher has a cat in it and I know something bad happens to it so I Will Not Watch) and I'll probably add some of my faves (Hocus Pocus not on there is a gd travesty, although I just realized these are movies available on Netflix....man, whatever). There's also some mystery movies that I'd like to watch (I've never watched any of the Knives Out franchise and it's apparently amazing! It's so annoying, with all the different streaming services, to find what you actually want to watch. :\

Also, has anyone seen the trailer for Good Boy? A horror movie from the point of view of the dog. ;o; I definitely want to watch this one.

Let's see....I think that might be it for me! It's a lovely day out (we've had some not great air quality due to wildfires but it seems like it's blown out for the most part). I think, however, that I might just curl up with a book and let the birds sing me straight into a nap (seems unlikely, lmao).