::: Things of a Tentacular Nature

BERJAYA

User: morlom

Name: Egg-Crate

Email: bleaksquid@yahoo.com

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BERJAYA

Let's see... I am an almost ridiculously awesome college student. So awesome that it makes people I meet fall to their knees and weep. Probably. I guess they wait to do that until I'm not there.
Another thing, I am obsessed with squids. They are 1 friggin adorable and 2 teh bezt. Really, I think I have a problem... just read this poem I wrote:

SQUID/Dead!Ginny 4ever!

From the deep, darkened lake
Swims a many-limbed lover
Searching for his sweetheart
But she sleeps forever on the moonlit shore
So go now, sir, and take a last farewell
Before you are parted
Forever more

BERJAYA

If I had my way, morlom would be called Satan, but since I don't, she shall be called Crazy Squid Lady.-hoblik

Oh god. The squids. -meloise

There is only one word I think of when I think about Cindy, and that word is...
SQUID! Sorry, but Squid = Cindy. She is the Squidmeister. Oh, that as well. Squid! Squid! *grins* -lord_alexander

Hm. *thinks* Squid! -avariel_wings

Unique. -neonglow

Even though I don't really know her that well, I know she is a very cool person, and that's good enough for me. -sykoskeeto

Cindy is one of the strangest, funniest people on my flist. That poem she wrote about the Giant squid (see above) kicked ass ;) -pornography

I AM ALL POWERFUL! -morlom

About Teh Layout... OF DEATH

All bits ME, except anything hoblik helped me with (probably a lot). Also, isiliel got the quotes. Steal and die. Or steal and feel mildly bad for your entire life. Your choice. But you'll eventually die.

The code for the COOL time/date was nicked off someone, sorry I don't recall who, but I did the subject line thing on my own based on that.

I don't know where the original squid picture came from. My b. Thanks for not suing me, homeslices.

:::

8th July 2007

date and time:

8th July

8:39 pm

How the hell is Larry King's Paris Hilton interview bigger news than Larry King's Beatles interview?

Paris is just a bad pop culture nightmare, like Dave Coulier or Helen Kane or all those boybands. After a while, she'll go away and we'll never have to see or think about her again, until she is brought up in 00's edition trivial persuit, much to the annoyance of all. Hopefully, our children will never have to know who she is until she is old and dies and they have bit on the five o'clock news.

Well, maybe that's a bit harsh. They'll probably have around the clock coverage of her wake and everything.

Also, I don't know what's going on, but yesterday my friend and my horoscope gave me the same advice... it was creepy.

ETA: Oh, and Scott Baio... I'm glad he's gone. But I did like Diagnosis: Murder...

mood

:

bored

1 Ikkle SquiddyySwim in the Lake

7th May 2007

Spiderman 3- Stereotyping Emo like you wouldn't believe (spoiler!)

date and time:

7th May

6:50 pm

Everyone needs to see Spiderman 3. Not because it is the current box office favorite or because Bruce Campbell is hi-LARious or because Toby Mcguire and Topher Grace have a sexy man-fight (although all of that is also true).

No, everyone should see Spiderman 3 because Spiderman 3 offers one of the most compelling looks at the ever present danger of waking up one morning and realizing that you are Emo. Sure, people, the emo lifestyle looks glamorous with its tight pants and such, but it is a dangerous pit of doom and dispair. Just look at happy-go-lucky Peter Parker. His life is pretty great. But then, he gets a new all-black suit. It looks really really good on him. Mmm... anyway, he winds up wearing it all the time, and then, suddenly, he develops bangs and guyliner. Soon, his girlfriend is breaking up with him and he winds up sitting out in the rain and crying A LOT. Just like in real life.

Funny that they didn't make it more about Spiderman, though.

mood

:

mellow

1 Ikkle SquiddyySwim in the Lake

4th May 2007

Dr. Condolezza Rice will eat your heart!

date and time:

4th May

2:34 pm

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

In other news, barring my math finals next week I am DONE with freshman year of college. Go me.

mood

:

scared

1 Ikkle SquiddyySwim in the Lake

18th April 2007

date and time:

18th April

10:09 am

I have fallen off the face of the planet. Oh no.
1 Ikkle SquiddyySwim in the Lake

23rd February 2007

date and time:

23rd February

10:25 am

The Sparrow: I accidently abscownded with one of their pens.
Me: Abscownded?
T.S.: Yeah. I abscownded with it.
Me: ... I wish you had abSCONEded with it...
T.S.: What?
Me: A scone would be awesome right now.

mood

:

hungry

Swim in the Lake

12th February 2007

date and time:

12th February

7:40 pm

I slept all day, which sounds awesome but totally wasn't. There are not enough tissues in the fucking world.

Around 5:30 when I was in the midst of a lovely nap, my friend's annoying roommate came by. She is one of those people who just really annoys me, like she never knows when she is being really inappropriate or has gone too far with a joke. She also has an annoying habit of making jokes about people who she isn't really close enough to to get away with. Like she thinks she can tease me like we all tease each other, but she really isn't in the group so it's like, no, shut up. But I try really, really hard to be nice to her because I can be the same way with the putting my foot in my mouth. But she still annoys me.

Anyway, there was a note on my door about how I was asleep, but she kept knocking so I had to like fall out of bed and answer the door. She was all loud and even told me she saw the note, then asked for a book. She has asked me for this book she has asked for like a million times and I do not even have anymore. So I was really pissed, but tried to be all nice. So I said goodbye and tried to close the door in her face. But she stuck her foot in! I was like, step off, bitch. The short version is she made me look through my computer files and old notebook for my notes on the book and then I stopped myself from bodily harming her, but just barely.

At dinner I was still pissed off and sick, but I felt better after I tried to shake my mango juice without the cap on. This huge stream of mango juice got all over my right side, including my back. I saw it like in slow motion and it was like on Nickelodeon when they used to slime people, but orange. Did they have orange slime? Anyway, after that I couldn't stay mad. It was so funny. And I always wanted to get slimed as a child. I just looked at my mango juice and said in monotone, "I am so upset." Then I started laughing.

It was probably the cold medication. Ah, well, I treasure the memory.

The beauty part of it all was that no juice got anywhere else. Not on the girl right behind me, not the carpet, not even the person next to me. It was so worth being all sticky now and having to wash my sweatshirt.

Swim in the Lake

6th February 2007

date and time:

6th February

6:40 pm

Ok, I guess I want to see Equus... Daniel Radcliffe nekkid... yeah, I am down.

The horse looks upset, though.

mood

:

amused

3 Ikkle SquiddyiesSwim in the Lake

4th February 2007

date and time:

4th February

10:34 am

OK, I know this isn't a widely recognized rule, especially in college, but it should be. It should be in the bible. In fact, I bet it was but some idiot took it out. The rule should be "Thou shalt not judge your friends when they are super drunk, nor shalt thou take what they do when intoxicated seriously, nor shall thou be a doucebag and tell their other friends what you think their weird actions mean when they meant NOTHING."

Another rule could be "Thou shalt tell your friends about vicious rumors started by their other friends while they were drunk, and thou shalt tell them first thing in the morning, not wait all day."

In other totally unrelated news, I am never drinking 100 proof vodka ever again. Guess why.

2 Ikkle SquiddyiesSwim in the Lake

31st January 2007

Whoo-friggin-hoo!

date and time:

31st January

9:36 am

Yesterday I had a mandatory meeting with the foreign exchange advisor and a bunch of other exchange hopefuls to look at our options. I just wanted to know about financial aid, but the meeting was mostly about choosing a program and getting started, which I have already done. Near the end of the meeting, after we had signed in, she talked to each of us on the list. When she got to me, she stared at my name for a really long time, then looked at me and said "I believe you have already been accepted, haven't you?" And I had not heard this, so I was like OMFG. I reverted to Valley Girl and said, "No way" and she said congratulations and everyone clapped.

I also applied for a passport. My passport picture was so good that the guy at the post office was all creepy and hit on me. Also, the guy at the photo place hit on my mom. I suggested her we could double date, but she got angry at me. Which is good, because she is married and I am far too young for creepy postal worker.

I can't believe I got in. I am going to Prague. This is incredibly awesome.

mood

:

ecstatic

Swim in the Lake

29th January 2007

date and time:

29th January

12:08 pm

This is ridiculous. A girl in my lit class started crying because of an e.e. cummings poem. She thought it was about how we let life pass us by, then she started saying this insane stuff that had nothing to do with the poem, then she cried. And EVERYONE was just like, Wow, you were so moved by this poem, that is amazing! I was the only one who was like "WTF, this weird girl is crying!"

And then she started talking about Pink Floyd.

And then she started singing.

... and now I think everyone went to lunch without me. What is that, they couldn't wait until noon?

mood

:

uncomfortable

3 Ikkle SquiddyiesSwim in the Lake

25th January 2007

date and time:

25th January

10:56 am

I just read the list of Oscar nominations, which made me realize that I have basically only seen "Borat" and "Little Miss Suneshine" this year. Also, they were probably two of the only movies worth seeing.

Case in point: Apacalypto was nominated for three awards. And none of them are for "achievement in sadomasochistic pseudo-history" or "best lapse into insanity." What gives?

Also, only one nomination for Borat? What an oversight.

And no matter how many awards it gets (2), United 93 was manipulative and the only reason it was made right now was so that, no matter how bad it was, people would have to like it because it was a national tragedy. If you don't like it, then you hate America. And it still wasn't nominated for best picture... in your face, you bastards, for trying to make a shitload of cash off other people's deaths.

mood

:

annoyed

Swim in the Lake

24th January 2007

The "Perform Act" Strikes Again!

date and time:

24th January

2:22 pm

People, I try not to get political (too political) on LiveJournal, because it makes people sound insane to bitch about the Senate on a blog (I think) but this can NOT stand. Senator Dianne "Republican Wearing A Democrat's Skin" Feinstien has re-introduced the fucking Perform Act, which would make internet radio incredibly expensive and therefore take just a little more light out of this dark and dreary world. If you don't remember the Perform Act, it was already struck down by the Republican senate, but now with these fucking Democrats, who are really just as evil but they give you sweets in exchange for going along with them instead of kicking you in the neck, will probably pass it. They are convinced in thier doddering old age that all music piracy results from people recording internet radio shows, isolating songs, and then giving them away, which to my knowledge almost never happens. Then again, I didn't know the internets were a series of tubes until a Senator told me. The point is, this is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and now that I have my own radio show (9PM PST on Mondays at KRFH.net, btw) I am dually sickened.

Everyone write their Senator. Do it! Even you British people and Canadians on my Flist. Senators think that we young people call the internet the World Wide Web, they will never know if you are foreign, even if you write them in Cyrillic or something. They will probably try to sound it out.

Arrgh.

mood

:

pissed off

Swim in the Lake

16th January 2007

date and time:

16th January

9:57 am

I just got back from my first class. It was math. The instructor put one hundered thousand on the board and said it was a million. I said, no that is a hundered thousand. She said, yeah, they are like the same.

100,000. 1,000,000. Very different.

I just hope it was because it is early and she is not good in front of a new class or something, because if she really thinks that then the grades will probably be pretty fucked.

What frightens me most, really, is that a whole classroom of people saw it. I was the only one who said anything. No one came to my aid. Everyone there must have noticed, provided they were there in third grade for that week we did numbers.

Now I have an hour break before four more hours of classes. I hope my other classes are less disturbing.

mood

:

stressed

2 Ikkle SquiddyiesSwim in the Lake

9th January 2007

date and time:

9th January

10:45 am

OMG. iPhone.

mood

:

awake

1 Ikkle SquiddyySwim in the Lake

23rd December 2006

Ruining Christmas, or a rant about family that no one actually needs to read

date and time:

23rd December

7:35 pm

My mother has accused me of ruining Christmas again, but I am not worried because she says that every year. This time it is all about how ugly the frosting was.

skinner_sandman and

hoblik were here, and I thought she was joking but now she thinks it is "best" that I let her make the frosting. It is not my fault that the frosting turned out day-glo orange and swamp green. Fuck that.

I am becoming more and more certain that my brother has no redeeming qualities. Especially now around Christmas, he clearly has no humility or gratitude. He didn't get me anything and I ran around the mall all day looking for Tenacious D: The Complete Masterworks. Then when I told him how hard I had tried to find him a gift, he teased me and said that he spent all his money on five of his guy friends, and one thing for himself. So I asked how he was going to buy his girlfriend anything. He was shocked that mom wouldn't give him more money after he had pissed away the better part of her spending money. So I wound up spending the rest of my money (actually mine, too, not just money my parents doled out) on his girlfriend's stupid present, and I therefore know for a fact that he didn't get anything for me. He also didn't get anything for our mother, who woke up at 4 AM last Sunday morning to try and get the selfish pig a Wii. Then, after she came home and told him that she may or may not have obtained said Wii, he threw a very impressive fit. Now, I am no stranger to the ways of fit-throwing, but he was a little extreme. He demanded $300 if he doesn't get a Wii by Christmas morning. Then, after considering this, he decided that since dad made him do chores to earn the Wii, if he DOES get it on Christmas he should get the $300 anyway.

Then, tonight, when I asked my dad if we could get crab for Christmas dinner, the very same brother lectured me on how strapped we are for cash now. If that wasn't enough, he has also consistantly implied that I am lazy for going to college. Everytime he tells me about how things have been since I've been gone, he acts really stupid and points out that he's been doing all the chores since I left, like I should have lived at home his whole life so he wouldn't have to take out the fucking trash.

I just don't really like being back. All my friends and my roommates were psyched to go home, and I feel like, eh. It's cool to see my friends, but I don't feel like it would make a huge difference in most of their lives if they never saw me again. I feel like no one wants me here. Not that they don't want me. Just that they don't really care. It is not a good feeling. My brother is living the high life and has become the stereotypical obnoxious only child with easy, my friends are cool but I don't feel a really strong compulsion to spend time with them, and now Michael is dating some slag named Jenny or something.

I want to go to sleep.

mood

:

cynical

2 Ikkle SquiddyiesSwim in the Lake

13th December 2006

In the spirit of X-Mas.

date and time:

13th December

9:09 am

OK, I know this is last minute but if anyone wants a Christmas card, just comment with your mailing address (comments will be screened).

Cards will be squid/Zoidberg related, and I shalt make them myselfs.

mood

:

bored

Swim in the Lake

7th December 2006

date and time:

7th December

9:03 pm

Essays done: 5
Essays left: 3, including on GIANT research one for poli sci that I have started but might be too hilarious to turn in.
Finals done: 1
Finals left: 3
Books finished: Countless, but not for these finals
Books left: 1 (and I am only half done... dooooooom!)

In other news, Jen thinks she has been poisoned. She was cutting up mushrooms for her Botany final or something, and then she ate a cookie without washing her hands. So she is freaking out. But she also has hives.

Maybe she was poisoned.

mood

:

crazy

1 Ikkle SquiddyySwim in the Lake

5th December 2006

Sex toys and old person incest

date and time:

5th December

8:16 pm

OK, I have two things that have happened lately that are at once horrible and so funny that they make me fall to my knees and die inside.

The first thing is a sex toy story, so buckle your seatbelts, boys and girls.

OK, so what happened is, Michael bought this... sex toy... which I will not elaborate on, but it was at my house, eg my parents' house. So, I was thinking how horrible it would be if my parent(s) found it, so I decided to bring it to Michael and let him deal with it. So, I put it on my bed while I was packing, but my dad came in suddenly, so I shoved it under a pillow. Then I forgot about it until I was back in my dorm room. So, I had a mild to moderate panic attack. The thing is, it was a ticking timebomb, because eventually my mom is going to make my bed, and my brother's girlfriend sleeps there when I am not home and she stays the night. So I had a bit of a dilemma. In the end, I decided it would be least traumatic for my brother to hide the sex toy. He owed me for telling me when he lost his virginity (the weekend before Thanksgiving).

I thought that nothing could top the story of me begging my brother over the phone to go into my room and handle the sex toy that happened to be under my pillow, but my very own grandmother has outdone me already. She has the dementia and her 90-year-old lovah just got put in a nursing home, so my uncle went to care for her. She now thinks that he, her son, is her lover and keeps trying to have sex with him.

As sad as this all is, I can't help but find it hilarious.

So, yeah, my family is that fucked up.

mood

:

weird

3 Ikkle SquiddyiesSwim in the Lake

date and time:

5th December

10:49 am

Happy ninja day, everybody! I am celebrating by watching Ask A Ninja and VH1's Best Week Ever. The second one is because I just realised I can get it on iTunes for free in podcast form. God bless the nerds.

Speaking of watching things, we watched the first episode of the American version of Queer as Folk in Film today. I enjoyed it, but some of the more easily alarmed people felt the urge to leave. Later, during discussion, the professor asked what the significance of Justin stepping in a puddle might be, and the girl sitting next to me was like "is it like.... Jesus?"

Good times.

On the downside, I did my schedule for next semester, and I wound up with nineteen credits and no time for lunch.

I am really hyper, though. I think I will write some of these essays on my to do list. That'll take the wind out of my sails.

mood

:

bouncy

Swim in the Lake

24th November 2006

date and time:

24th November

8:34 pm

So, yesterday, my maternal grandmother freaked out on the caregiver who came to check on her. She has the dementia, apparently (although we have all known this since she started thinking my mom was her dead sister Junie). The point is, she had a bit of a breakdown because she forgot the caregiver was coming and shouted a lot. I don't know what she said, but I know that it was horrible, that it was loud, and that the caregiver in question is black. After she yelled, she had the unusual presence of mind to call the police, which she probably wouldn't have thought of had it been an actual crisis.

The gist of the tale is that now I have to go to Phoenix for my paternal grandfather's funeral and then try to convince grandma crazy to return quietly to her sons in Minnesota. All the while I have to console my recently widowed paternal grandmother, who luckily is still pretty stable.

That is why I am in a hotel in Livermore, en route to the desert of oldness.

Swim in the Lake

23rd November 2006

date and time:

23rd November

12:54 pm

Yesterday I nearly caused a riot (on accident) by telling someone in Safeway that there were more Butterball turkeys on aisle 3. It was a madhouse, though, I actually fought an old lady for the last can of yams.

My willingness to fight people for canned goods is why I was the one doing the shopping.

Anyway, having watched the Thanksgiving Day parade, it is time to watch It's A Wonderful Life, which is probably one of my family's only traditions except eating kringler on Easter and our Christmas smorgasbord including meatballs (which are the only times it pays off to have Swedish blood, really, unless you like Jello with weird crap in it like my great aunts make).

Now, having eaten my traditional pre-Thanksgiving day dinner last night (all the left overs in the fridge so there is room for the pies) and enjoyed my Thanksgiving day breakfast (a doughnut), I continue my Thanksgiving day fast.

mood

:

hungry

1 Ikkle SquiddyySwim in the Lake

20th November 2006

Why I love my family...

date and time:

20th November

11:32 pm

I forgot how funny my brother is. At dinner, he ate two porkchops, and my mom tried to get the other one away from him, and so an epic battle ensued. He managed to tear the porkchop back off her fork with his teeth, and then he stuffed the whole thing into his mouth so that she coundn't try to get it away from him again. Then he had to try and chew the whole porkchop at once, and we were all laughing so hard that we were crying.

Yes, all Americans are like this. Every last one.

Actually, I think my brother is the only person I have ever seen actually wrest a food item away from another person with his teeth like a wolf or something.

Swim in the Lake

date and time:

20th November

1:52 pm

Being home is weird. My dad keeps calling televisions "video things." As in "is the video thing on in the living room?"

On the plus side, I ate eggs that actually came from eggs, not a box or something. And slept on a matress that did not feel like a concrete slab.

mood

:

mellow

2 Ikkle SquiddyiesSwim in the Lake

16th November 2006

date and time:

16th November

8:40 am

So, yesterday I talked to my dad. He has become convinced that the trees outside our house have sudden oak death. He is either overreacting, because his only reason for thinking that is that a branch died on each tree and that could mean anything from root damage to parasites, or he is underreacting, because if a tree has sudden oak death it is not curable and very very bad. I still don't think it is sudden oak death.

Yesterday at lunch I was sitting with a large group of my friends (all girls) and this sort of hairy older guy came over and told us we are all petals on a beautiful flower.

So that was cool.

Last night continued the OC marathon. We are almost done with the first season, and with two left on DVD, I already feel empty and hollow. And I keep having OC-themed dreams, usually involving an unusual amount of obnoxious people.

We did a tally last night, and season one of the OC is exactly 24 hours long.

That is a day of my life. A day of my life I spent watching televised crap.

But life goes on.

mood

:

tired

1 Ikkle SquiddyySwim in the Lake

15th November 2006

Thanksgiving's a-comin'

date and time:

15th November

10:12 am

I overheard the following on the way back from class:

Boy 1: Man, it's not that hard, just play World of Warcraft until you smell something burning!
Boy 2: No, man, it's not that easy. You have to... like... baste it...
Boy 1: Then baste it, man. Baste that shit!

mood

:

amused

1 Ikkle SquiddyySwim in the Lake

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BERJAYA