The following list is mostly for screencapping purposes. If you'd like to request screencaps, just comment with what you want. The list is updated frequently so watch this space!

DA RULES
1. I only do specific characters, not the whole movie. SORRY. I love capping, but it's time consuming and I prefer to focus on a couple characters at a time.
2. If you request a main character from a TV show, pick a few specific episodes that you really want caps from. It will make my life easier.
3. I have to use my sister's computer to cap, so I can only do it when she's not here, so if it takes awhile to get your caps... That's why. Luckily, she's in college and is gone most of the time.

( DVD LIST OF DOOMCollapse )

I am sick and bored and listless and don't wanna do anything, so... I'm doing this meme.

List fifteen of your favorite characters from different fandoms, and ask people to spot patterns in your choices, if they're so inclined.

1. Gabriel/The Trickster (Supernatural)
2. Lucas Boyd (Point Pleasant)
3. Topher Brink (Dollhouse)
4. Juliet Burke (LOST)
5. Julian Sark (Alias)
6. Sam Axe (Burn Notice)
7. Thomas Raith (The Dresden Files)
8. Sokka (Avatar the Last Airbender)
9. David Addison (Moonlighting)
10. Mozzie (White Collar)
11. Methos (Highlander)
12. Misato Katsuragi (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
13. Tybalt (October Daye series)
14. Adam Monroe (Heroes)
15. Flynn Ryder (Tangled)

.....Yeah, I'm not obvious at all.

There's been some serious work drama going on. Mostly involving half of my co-workers being entitled bitches who are jealous of me getting more hours, because I work harder than them, and think that because they have seven kids and bills to pay that they deserve to have more hours and get to slack off. But whatever. I stopped in work on the way to see The Green Hornet today and Amy made it a point to tell me what a good job I'm doing and how she doesn't want me to leave just because people are jackasses to me- and Lord were they jackasses. Siiiigh.

Anyway. I've been watching Point Pleasant and oh my GOD, this show is so awesome. And I feel deeply, deeply compelled to play the main character, which... Never happens, but DEAR GOD, I identify with her so much.... Which is terrifying, because she's the Antichrist, but that's the way it goes. Christina's life is a hard one. I've got, uh.... Eight episodes left in the show, so we'll see how that works out. I may end up apping her to the Wood to be my other token girl, since I may end up apping Misato and Washu to other places.... When Gabriel ever lets go of my BRAIN. :| It's very hard to tag my other people when he's the only reliable character I can play right now.

....Although right now, all I want to do is watch more Point Pleasant, despite the million other things I need to do. Dammit.

I don't understand social parameters.

I don't understand how one person can be outgoing and charming and another person who tries to be the same thing just comes off as irritating and annoying. I don't know the difference between affectionate and clingy. Is there a difference between wanting attention and feeling legitimately ignored?

And I really don't understand what makes one person extremely easy to pick on. It doesn't matter if you know them and know they're weak. This is the kind of person who has gotten picked on pretty much all her life by people who don't even know her.

The last several days at work, I've been verbally abused by customers and it's making me terrified to even go into work. I know I need to suck it up and deal with it, because it's just a part of retail, but I've never suffered this much until last week. I'm tired of bursting out crying at work. I'm tired of being bullshitted. And I'm tired of people telling me not to let things get to me. No, I don't know how to fix it, because all a sales clerk can do is smile and nod when people are verbally berating her. But this has happened to me my entire life- there's absolutely no way I can't take it personally.

And now it's moved into my real life beyond work. A woman threw a fit because I accidentally cut her in line and even though I backed up and apologized, she still wouldn't stop making me feel like a horrible person. I'm so goddamn tired of being treated like this. And I don't even have my Xanax to get me through this and won't for a long time, so I have to deal with the long, annoying nights at work, and the panic attacks, and the people who won't stop torturing me.

Nothing is going right for me here lately. I'm depressed and if I can go a day without crying, then it's a good day. I haven't had a good day in awhile.

I had a fairy realistic nightmare the other day about getting five negative secrets in a row on RP!S and someone telling me about them, which, in retrospect says a lot about me and how much I enjoy my reputation online- the fact that earlier that day, I'd gotten chided for breaking a rule in one of my games totally by accident had me freaking out most of the day too. Whether it's healthy or not, I still woke up yesterday in a horrible mood that was only exacerbated by the fact that the place where we're moving doesn't have DSL available at the moment. That problem's pretty much been corrected, but my mood has just spiraled since then, and it's not just overdependence on internet issues.

Yesterday at work, I got overstimulated by people and I probably got called in because a woman freaked out about bread not being fifty cents cheaper, because THE SIGN SAYS IT'S $2, when she was just looking at the wrong fucking sign, and I got really upset and annoyed with her, because I can't handle people yelling at me or freaking out at me. I called Mom to bring me some Xanax so I could calm down before I ended up crying or something and then I couldn't get a hold of her, so I started irrationally freaking out that something happened to her until I broke down crying AT WORK. I finally got a hold of her and she brought me some Xanax, but it's the last I had, because my dad's been taking it and I haven't needed it in awhile and he needs to be calm and not a freak more than I do... Well, until I get like this, anyway.

So now I'm depressed, everything is upsetting me, I'm paranoid, and I've settled into "no one cares about me" territory, which is bullshit, but that's irrational depression for you. I don't want to do anything. I was avoiding the internet by playing Pokemon Platinum on my DS, but now I don't even want to do that.

Oh and to make matters worse, Mom's working all New Year's Eve, so I can't go out and get any alcohol to drown my suffering in like a normal person and have nothing to do but sit here with Dad and be miserable. Happy fucking new year.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE, ASSUMING YOU CELEBRATE IT. It's been a long and eventful day. I worked six hours straight, no breaks, and it was pretty much a steady stream of customers. And one of them threatened me... Or, okay, made me feel uncomfortable enough that I almost cried at work. :( But then I came home and took a nap and when I woke up, it was time for Christmas Eve dinner and then PRESENTS. And since Mom didn't want to wake up early tomorrow, we opened all our gifts tonight. I got a bunch of clothes, including some new pj's, a snuggie, a bunch of DVD's, the entire These Mortal Instruments series, the Trickster books by Tamora Pierce, a new sketchbook, some decorative stuff for my room when we love, annnd A NINTENDO DS with Pokemon Platinum. FFFFF. *__* So excited. So all in all, it turned out to be a great day.

And I'm watching Devil right now, because I am the MOST FESTIVE. And Logan-Marshall Green continues to weird me the fuck out by having a deep, gravely voice and not sounding at all like a Bowie-loving glitterboy.

LOOK AT ME, ACTUALLY POSTING CONSISTENTLY, INSTEAD OF RELYING ON PLURK LIKE A BOSS.

God, I fail at tags here lately. I mentioned that before, but it's worth mentioning again, because dear GOD, I suck at writing anything, which is bad, because I interpret every creative slump as OH GOD, I WILL NEVER WRITE AGAIN. THE WORLD IS ENDING. Hrmph.

ANYWAY. Icon meme. Because I can.

001. Reply to this post, and I will pick 6-8 of your icons.
002. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
003. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
004. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon squee.

Icons picked by Arden and Katie:






( ICON RAMBLING..Collapse )

I GOT PAID $217 TODAY. ...Too bad it's gone now. Is Christmas over yet? (tears)

...One day I'll accept that Plurk emotes don't work on LJ. (unsure) .... Yeah.

ANYWAY. I'm trying to offer things for people for Christmas, but... Unfortunately, I don't have any graphics skills, Aubrey can tell you that it's impossible to rely on me for on-time giftfics, considering I owe her an Alias/Doctor Who crossover from, like, three years ago, and... Yeah, basically, I'm the worst freebie person. All I can offer is... Well, these two things.

1. A PSL between any of my characters and one of yours.
2. SCREENCAPS. Link goes to my DVD list.

The screencaps might... Take awhile to get to since I need my sister's desktop and she's home from college, BUT I'VE FOUND I REALLY ENJOY SCREENCAPPING, so if you can make your own icons or know someone who can make icons... IDK. Kittens.

In other news, I seem to have an aversion to tags here lately. I don't know what's wrong with me. ;__;

And man I don't wanna go to work tonight. Staying open until ten is killing my desire to live, SINCE NO ONE COMES IN THAT LATE. EVER.

Yeah, I... Need to spend more time on my personal LJ. Plurk's just so dependable for keeping up with everyone ~in the moment~. Excuses, excuses.

Anyway, today... I'm not in a good mood. I mean, I was... I spent pretty much all day away from the computer, chatting and then shopping with Mom. And that was awesome and then as soon as I got back online after Mom went to bed, I felt... Like crap. I realized a few things and they made me disturbingly uncomfortable. It was one of those OH SHIT realizations where you realize you've done fucked up something and suddenly nothing will be right ever, because you will never correct this mistake, and you can't say I'M SORRY FOR MAKING THIS MISTAKE, because there's a chance you're the only one who realized it, but it looks like it's broadcast on a billboard to you, even if it's nothing.

....That might not make sense. Anyway, it doesn't really matter and it's not the least of my concerns.

I think I really, really need to cure my attention addiction next year, because it's really moved into my real life. I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job at work if Amy isn't constantly praising me for being fantastic. I'm getting angry and bitter because the fucking twerp who sucks at everything has a higher sales ratio than me and he gets called in every other day for being a jerk and is probably stealing and whines about having to do the fucking job he gets paid for, AND WHY ISN'T HE GONE ALREADY? I don't know how to talk to people, so I don't know how to make my sales ratio higher and I get exasperated and frustrated, because I'm not OMG ZE BEST.

It's getting really frustrating and making it a pain, because DEAR GOD, can I not do ANYTHING without stressing constantly about being ~THE BEST EVER~ at something? It's like I'm consistently miserable unless I'm being praised and I don't wanna be that way, okay? I hate it and I'm sorry and I don't expect people to enable me, even when I cry and curl up in a ball and act like a total moron about it. I really just want to be comfortable in my own skin and not have to thrive on being superior or otherwise exist as just a ball of mediocrity that will be ignored forever. Bleah. It's so DUMB.

Whatever. Tonight, I'm gonna finish these tags, work on an app, and be productive somehow, instead of rolling around in salt and razorblades like a dumbass.

God, today has just been one bitch of a day. One day.... I'll stop stressing about upsetting people and disappointing people, whether it's my fault or whether it's just peripherally related to me to the point where it might as well be. One day, I'll stop living in constant fear of doing something so irrevocably stupid or horrible that people will be talking behind my back about it forever. And yes, I'm totally aware that I can't control these things, but I hate it all the same. One day I'll allow myself to be happy in something I love without worrying constantly about whether or not everyone around me is comfortable.

I'm so stressed out today and my abcess hurts and is doing unfortunate TMI-y things and I don't want to go to work and I don't wanna stay home, because I'm scared of everything I love right now, because when I get in these moods, everything I love is ruined, because I automatically fall into a spiral of self-hate that fills everything I do. I start interpreting things all the wrong ways when I normally wouldn't and... God, I'm so disgusted with me and my piss-poor attitude. Talking myself out of it is just hard.

One day my moods will not be dictated by how good a mood the people I care about are in.