I totally ran into Daniel (who, for context, I met on the trip to Costa Rica, who was from San Diego but wasn't from the Rock) at church tonight. It was totally one of those "whoa, what are you doing here?" cool surprises, right after having run into Larry (didn't I see you at Horizon this morning?! what are you doing here? Oh wait, same thing I am...) and then Mr. EBizzle himself. Funny how opposite end of the spectrum it is running into Daniel at church tonight compared to, say, playing pool at Rock Bottom with Jendy and (Daniel's boss) Mike last night. Not to say either one is bad or good or anything, just so totally...different.

Edit: Oh, and by the time I got home, I completely forgot I ran into Nefty before service too...The thing that's amazing about that is that Nick, Courtney, Dave, Darren, and Darla have all been trying to get ahold of him for the last 6 months or so to sign something for BFI but no one has been able to track him down or get a right phone numbe or anything other than one supposed sighting by a friend of a friend somewhere in san diego one time

I went to Church tonight. (for those of you christian and in SD...at the Rock @SDSU). Nick (Z.) invited me to go, and once again on a completely snap judgement I said "what the hell" its not like I *really* have better things I ought to be doing. Church has all that good "community" stuff to it and everything.

I went once before with him the weekend before thanksgiving weekend too. Last time it wasn't bad, but I wasn't completely sure about it. This sermon felt a lot more relevant to me. The band played slightly better songs, that were a little less repetitive, although they still sing wayyy too much at the beginning, so I'm just thinking "didn't we already sing this? oh wait, maybe not, maybe it just sounds the same cuz every song has the exact same message".

The sermon itself though was very relevant and entertaining--which is basically what i seem to continually hear about minister Miles McPherson. The only thing that really irked was the constant tying in of how everyone should remember to donate money to the church. I would have been a little happier with less propagandaing why that's important as it felt like trying to use the "word of god" to further their own interests, which something about that just didn't quite sit right with me and i couldn't quite pinpoint why.

So, I think the part that hit home (tonight) most to me was the part where Miles was talking about "careers" and mentions "engineering", which naturally is about when my ears perk up. And why I use quotes around the word careers is really because that wasn't the main part of the take home message, which was more about how in whatever job you do, there might be a divine reason that you're there--which basically amounts to that you're there, in your engineering job (the example he picked) so you can spread the love of god among the people you work with. And he had a whole other point about how you can spread "god's word" without having to make it all christianized and religious--like the middle school assemblies he gave. Cuz really, it all comes down to love. Know who needs help and reach out to them.

After the service we went to dinner with some of Nick's church-buddies at Rubys in mission valley. That was alright, but I didn't really feel like I had much of anything in common with these people, so I was pretty quiet and didn't feel like I had much to say to any of them.

I'd still really like to go to jewish serives sometime though, for a basis of comparison. Hebrew prayers sound so pretty, and I just couldn't imagine it being a miserable experience or anything. But I can't say I really know enough about either of Christianity or Judiasm to know which one I would align myself closer to the general beliefs of. What of them I know, they both have a lot of good--so long as you ignore anything that comes from fundamentalists and catholics and the catholic church. there's people out there who call themselves christian but seem to miss that message that is over and over in the bible about not casting judgement against those who don't believe among other things.

So I guess I just need to spend more time getting to know more about both religions right? The only right decision must be an informed decision. I'd really like to end up with a grasp of both religions, how they differ and are similar, and what about each one I agree with and/or disagree with. So to help me out, I've been working on thinking about my religious ideals, and reading the bible to actually find out *for myself* what it says--good translation from the originals or not, it is what it is, and not just what the catholic church seems to think the bible implies. And spending time and energy on thinking about what I believe has only brought good into my life. Seriously.

My new pet project is finishing reading "every word of the bible" on the "one year plan" which means basically reading any three chapters a day. I've been skipping around a lot. I think so far my favorite book has been Ruth. There was a lot of good quoteworthy paragraphs in matthew though. All that good stuff like "not to worry". Jess with less stress + Jess not worrying so much = a Jess for the better right? Worthy effort it seems.

And I'd just like to give a shout-out to TJ's friend who just joined LJ cuz he seems like a really awesome person, and I'm excited at the opportunity to interact with him and get to know him and have more kind-hearted individuals like TJ in my life :-). Welcome oneremains

If you had told me a week ago that I would spend my sunday night hanging out with Nick Z. who I haven't seen in just about 2 years, I probably would have burst out laughing and said "are you kidding me? I haven't TALKED to him in two years"

But here I am. I talked to him online for about four hours saturday night after he imed me out of the blue. The things that had come between us in the past remained long forgotten. At first I couldn't even remember why it was that we hadn't talked in so long, other than that I wasn't sure I wanted to remember. I'll just leave it at that, because the reasons are just not important, irrelevant to anyone other than me and him. And besides, it'd just be old news.

And then he invited me to go to church with him tonight. you have to keep in mind here, the last time (and the first time, heh) I went to church was when I was maybe about 10--and I haven't been back since then. But I agreed to go, because, Mike Steffen had enticed me to the idea before...and I had said I'd go sometime with him...check it out... So, he up and moves to LA/USC, so it never quite materialized...But when I get another person saying "hey you should come check it out", oooh, why not? what the hell?

Well, he, like half of the people I know who say they go to chuch, goes to "The Rock" the church which happens to have its sermons in an auditorium at State. The minister is really great and reaches out to young people really good, and has such "relevant" things to say are the kinds of things I'd heard about this place. SDSU would be the kind of place that would have that kind of not so traditional church...

My perspective after being there? I don't think I'd be entirely opposed to going back and trying it again sometime. There was entirely too much singing for my taste though--even if their religious songs were all to a pleasant-sounding rock band and everything. A lot of what the minister "Miles" had to say flew right over my head because I just don't have enough background on the Bible to know what he's referring to. So there's some ways I appreciate that I can't fully appreciate what he's saying for what its worth. But he did say some good stuff that makes you stop and think and say "hmm, do I agree with this? would this be able to be used in my life to make it for the better?"

I really take my religion with a grain of salt--use it as food for thought to consider whether I agree/believe whatever, and then think about why, and how well does that serve me.

Now lately I know I've been saying a lot of stuff in my life has not been serving me so well...so we're gonna do away with that and work on a "happier Jess" who is more satisfied with her life and not bitching so much about it, but making it into what i want it to be instead. There's some things I've resolved to change behind the scenes, some particular things I've decided to alter the priority of, etc.

I'm not going to permanently discontinue lj because it adds something positive to my life--namely an outlet I didn't have before. But there are some aspects of my usage that I plan on changing to make it fit me better.

Actually, talking to Nick got me to thinking about AIM, and I got some things to think about with how I use that now too. There's some ways I have been dissatisfied with aim recently that I just didn't think about before. But cutting aim entirely for a while? never crossed my mind as an option. its like a lifeblood. But maybe it shouldn't be. People who really want to get ahold of me will find a way, and I'm not gonna force it.

After the whole church thing me and Nick wandered around SDSU to the starbucks on College Avenue and hung out there talking for a while. It was really fun talking, not just about like what's been going on in our lives, but other things like reflecting on what role *does* religion play in your life...does it increase your happiness by doing so? and other things that really just a lot of food for thought to think about where you would like to place your values and whatnot. and those kind of conversations are fulfilling. Just about what I needed right now. I'm not gonna preach to you and say you should be religious.

But, I'll just say, there are some things about religion that *do* work for me...so i'll follow that...and examine my beliefs and evaluate them and shape them over time--keep myself open-minded. A lot of religious people are very not-open minded in my experiences, but the same goes for atheists though....

ta ta,
--jess