anappleater

[

mood

|

drained

]

I work in a clothes shop in London, and recently one of my co-workers (and friends) managed to secure a position as the head of the companies P.A. She has been keen to further her career, and so jumped at the chance. Over the weeks, it became clear that something was very, very wrong. She came to our store to buy new clothes because she had been instructed to wear more short skirts. She had to wear heels at all times, a full face of makeup, and have immacuately done nails. When our manager spoke to the head on the phone, he told her to 'speak to my dog', in reference to my friend. She kept telling us all that everything was fine however, and we, perhaps stupidly, believed her.

The other night things reached an entirely new level. She was at his home, working late with him, when he pulled her by the hair and tried to kiss her. When she resisted, he grabbed her breast, pulled her hair again and informed her to 'bend over', as he took off his belt. My friend managed to escape the situation, and yesterday went to the police station to make a formal complaint. There is a warrant out for his arrest, but he's currently out of the country, on holiday.

He is an immensely powerful and wealthy man, and I find it hard to believe that with the UK judicial system being the way it is, that any justice will be served. This man is a monster. He gradually wore down the resistence of my friend, demanding her constant attention. She became so entrenched in his world, that she began to normalise his increasingly inappopriate behaviour and demands upon her. This incident I think shocked her into realising how completely fucked up his treatment of her has been. She's not alone in this either, he makes inappopriately sexual comments to almost all the female staff, and gets away with it. He's currently already being sued by a former employee for sexual harassment, and another manager walked out after being told he needed to fire a sales assistant because 'no one wants to be served by a black man'. My friend apparently has tried to resign in the past, but he just laughed at her and threw the resignation letter back in her face.

Yet this case comes firmly down to her word against his, and he will of course be able to afford the best lawyer money can buy. The only eye witness account was through an office window, in which another member of staff witnessed him telling my friend to sit down in front of him and slowly open and close her legs. The power he weilds psychologically over his staff members is absolutely horrifying, proven by the fact that a collegue saw this and felt powerless to do anything.

My anger is indescribable. I don't know how to help my friend, I don't even really know the legal standing when it comes to sexual harassment in the UK. I've done some research, and found the number for the one rape and sexual assault crisis centre in London. Also a charity that helps victims of abuse who work in retail. But I am overwhelmed with frustration and rage that due to this mans position of power, he feels he can act in any way he feels towards women. That they are nothing, toys for him to pick up and play with, then discard. That he has gotten away with it for so long, and will most likely continue to do so. How is this right? How is this ok? and how is it so many men in our society are able to get away with things like this??

roadkillkitten

[

mood

|

irate

]

This... I have no words for this. No, just no.

lepetke

[

mood

|

optimistic

]

So this community really stood out to me because throughout a good portion of my life, I was sexually, physically, and mentally abused by my father. Lately, I've decided that instead of brooding over everything that's happened, I'm going to take my experiences and use them to make me a stronger person, and help other women with similar problems overcome it as well. To see this group of so many strong-willed women, it's truly inspiring. :D

eco_fan

[

mood

|

pensive

]

Whatever your thoughts on Muslim women wearing the niqab, or veil, in public, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my mulling over this recent court ruling in Michigan that allows their courts "reasonable control over the appearance of parties and witnesses." This ruling is in response to a woman who tried to faithfully wear her niqab in claims court.  eco-fan.livejournal.com/5303.html

eco_fan

[

mood

|

pissed off

]

I wanted to cross-post my post here, but I haven't figured out how yet, and its not in the help section, so please read this: eco-fan.livejournal.com/ Feel free to share your thoughts.

angryjanedoe

xposted toadd_a_feminist

I hope it's ok I post this here. I've been trying to think through the murder of three women at an LA Fitness club a few days ago by a man who was angry that he couldn't get any dates.

The posts are part of an ongoing project about ethics in dating. I've edited for clarity, but there are more details in the original. The obvious reaction is that it's not ethical to fucking shoot women because you can't get a date, but I guess I think there's even more than that to say. So the following is my attempt to say something about what these murders say about men and women and heterosexual dating nowadays.

***

I briefly fucked around with an older man. I'd say he was in his mid to late 50s, although he could have been even older. I never asked and he never told me.

When we were talking one evening after some wine and sex, he started to muse aloud. "I like you a lot. I even love you," he said, "but I don't see how we could get seriously involved. I want children and you're too old already. I need a younger woman."

I am about 15-20 years younger than he is. And he has pretty unrealistic expectations about the women he will date. They need to have an athletic body, a pretty face, and a good mind, like me. He wasn't having a lot of luck with those women and, after a few weeks, he didn't have much luck with me either.

What stuck with me were his expectations -- his sense of entitlement.

terrorbird

[

mood

|

bouncy

]

hey folks,

i'm currently selling a genuine setlist from a 2001 le tigre concert in tallahassee, florida.  own a piece of feminist/riotgrrl history!  check out the auction here:

2001 Le Tigre Setlist - Kathleen Hanna Bikini Kill

itsvictoriavile

[

mood

|

depressed

]

So my boyfriend as of recent has been bugging me to make a porn with him...uhm..at first i laughed thinking he was joking but he's very serious. After we have sex he rants about how amazing i am at it and brings up this rotten porn idea.
 Why does he have to have a video of us posted on some web site?
He also  wants to take naked photos of me and swears he won't show anyone cause why would he want all his friends to see HIS girl naked. I don't know what to say to him anymore. He's always trying to pressure me into doing things i don't want to and yells at me for not responding the way he wish i would.

 This all has been making me feel like shit. I do love him but can't stand being yelled at like a dog when i havent done anything wrong.
I try to make excuses up for him..like maybe he's biploar or just too insecure which leads to the jealousy but idk anymore.
If you read the last entry in my journal it explains alot abuot how he's been acting.

Has anyone ever dated someone like this? How did you handle it?
Am i and idoit for staying?...i obv don't give up easy.

andreaknoll

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

1 Tim. 2:11-14