Elsewhere & About

Having been in a relationship for the past year and a half in which my partner and I have promised one another honesty, I would say that total honesty is both impossible and undesirable. There are things about oneself that one cannot and should not share with a partner -- to do that could not only apply strain on both people (oneself for feeling the need to always come clean, and one's partner for feeling the need to reciprocate), it would violate the sanctity of self that every person has and needs. Every person needs his secrets and private thoughts. Yes, you should always be as honest as possible with your partner and should not deliberately hide or lie about things, but you should not feel the need to tell your partner every tiny thing. That's just as abusive and harmful, in my opinion, as lying or cheating.

My fiancé and I made a promise at the beginning of our relationship that neither of us would hide our true selves from the other. We promised that we would not pretend to be people that we weren't or attempt to change ourselves so as to appeal to one another. With him, I can be as frank and open as I can never be with most others. However, because of this, I know firsthand how strenuous it is to keep up a pretense of complete honesty -- which, in itself, is dishonest. (It was after a fight brought on by such an attempt at constant honesty that we decided to ease up.) People can't be 100% truthful all of the time, even with the people they love most. There will always be secrets and little white lies, and that is the way that it should be.

Hmm... Probably the conversation between Orlando and Shelmerdine when they first meet, from the film Orlando. It's not a single line, but taking a line from it will take it out of context and render it unamusing.

Shelmerdine: You're hurt, ma'am.
Orlando: I'm dead, sir.
Shelmerdine: Dead. That's serious. Can I help?
Orlando: Will you marry me?
Shelmerdine: Ma'am... I would gladly, but I fear my ankle is twisted.

So here we are again: NaNoWriMo. To anyone who reads this poor, neglected son-of-a-bitch, I am bestowing upon you the first chapter of my novel, Storm-Wanderer, in all its un-edited, late-start, completely-improvised glory. No critiques for now. Save it for December.

4,710 words under the cut, my lovelies.

Greek food, for the simple reason that I eat it all the time anyway. XD Being half-Greek, there is never a shortage of Hellenic cuisine in my house.

My most memorable story was this past New Year's. It was about 11:00 pm. Mom was cooking dinner [we always eat late on New Year's] and we were in the kitchen waiting for it to be finished when, suddenly, all of the lights went out. We waited for them to return, but they didn't. Discouraged and upset, I went downstairs to go to sleep, and I almost got there when my mom came down to tell me dinner was ready. We ate, and afterwards, my parents suggested that my brother and I go downstairs and get the old Pente board. [Pente is a Greek strategy-board game sort of like Reversi or Go, and can be played with up to four players.] Neither of us had ever played Pente before, so we were hesitant, but we did it anyway. Once we were taught how to play, we played several games in succession, cracking jokes and just having a good time. I even won a couple of games myself. We stopped playing in time to count down the new year, and brought it in with the most fun we've had together in many years.

In ten years, my ideal life would be one where I had safely and completely transitioned from a female body to a male one. I would be living with my boyfriend - or, perhaps he would be my husband by then - and I would be writing a new novel, having published and sold my first. I don't really want much for my life, aside from security and peace of mind. Most importantly, however, would be the fact that my boyfriend and I would be able to live together happily without having to worry about the problems faced by many same-sex couples today. Many things could happen ten years from now, and hopefully, such progressions can be made. I don't see myself as being famous, rich, or super-successful -- just content with a simple life. That's all I want and, hopefully, that's what I'll get ten years from today.

I would almost certainly address my personal declaration of independence to heteronormative ideology. I'm not going on a gay-rights rant here, but it would be such a relief to be able to properly declare myself independent and free of the "straight is normal" mindset. I already do, but it'd be great to have it on paper for everyone to see, should they ever have a doubt as to my position on the matter. ;D

Brief, li'l entry about my most recent musical discovery: Spiral Dance. Not only is their music amazingly haunting and gorgeous, but it focuses on Pagan traditions, rites, and folklore. It's not every day that I find a band so in-tune with my religion, and listening to them is so inspiring and empowering! I never thought that a band could make me feel more in-touch with the Goddess or myself... It's simply amazing. I would urge any Pagan, Wiccan, Druid, or Celtic enthusiast to take a listen to this beautiful and blessed group! Even if you're not any of those things, if you appreciate good, pure music with crisp vocals and fabulous instruments, definitely look into them.

Well, that would have to be Mordred from Arthurian lore, for reasons that people who like to believe he's wholly evil could not hope to understand. I mostly identify with the feelings of being used and hated for things beyond my control. Mordred - for those unfamiliar - is King Arthur's bastard, born to his half-sister, and was foretold to bring about the ruin of Arthur's kingdom. For this, he was despised by anyone who knew who he was, even without getting to know him first. I'm automatically disliked by strangers for being gay and transsexual. We're both considered "unnatural" by some. But moving past that negativity, I also identify with his eloquence and persuasiveness. He is often portrayed as having great verbal skill, as do I - not to brag, but it's true. I feel very connected with Mordred, which is probably why I find that I love writing about him so much.

Well, I have on occasion wondered what it'd be like to follow another religion, if only out of curiosity. I would never actually convert, however, because I could never forsake my faith in my Goddess. I have converted before - I was born and raised Greek Orthodox, but then I found the Goddess and my convictions haven't strayed.