This is a post that I've been trying not to make, because I feel like I don't have as much right to it as a lot of people, and I don't want to call attention to myself unnecessarily. But I'm also varying degrees of uncomfortable-to-queasy every time this problem comes up, so. Self-conscious or not, I think I need to say this.

My relationship with my gender:
My body is female. I can live with that as long as nobody calls attention to it or expects it to determine my behavior, but I don't identify with it and I'm not happy being reminded of it. Please don't use gendered terms to address me unless you really need to (and I am having trouble thinking of an instance where you would need to). This includes stuff like:
- "you're a bad influence, woman!"
- referring to the inhabitants of this house collectively as "ladies"
- epithets like "temptress," even teasingly

I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't say these things at all. I recognize that they're intended to be friendly and often affectionate. But they are a poor fit for me. If there is a non-gendered term you could use instead, I will be very, very grateful if you take that option.

Pronouns:
I don't have a serious problem with female pronouns. They are technically accurate, if not exactly awesome. I'm grateful when people avoid them or use third-gender ones, but I know that neither of those things is intuitive.

I'm not looking for apologies from anyone who has done this in the past; like I said, I know that the intent is friendly, and this information is not immediately obvious. I'm just putting it out there now in the hopes that it'll make me more comfortable in conversations in the future.

Thank you for listening.