The Language Of Pain — LiveJournal

13 January 2013 @ 12:56 am

1. How long have you been harming yourself? since I was 10
2.where do you harm yourself? Arms legs hips stomach
3.what do you use: razor knives boxcutter glass... welll a lot of things
4. Are you willing to talk about self harm with other sufferers: yepp
5.how do you react after you have done it: I'm calm
6.do people know about your SHing: yeah.. I wish they didn't tho.
6b. Has anybody ever said anything about it to you? Yerp. They said I shouldn't do it. That its pathetic. Some have called me a freek. Or they'll be.like what the hell is that?! My dad threatens to send me away again. And my mom just don't care.
7.do you feel your SHing is a good or bad thing: good and bad. But hey we all make choices right.
8.do you harm during a particular part of the day or when do you?: when I'm upset.
9.what triggers your SH: a lot of things like my weight my parents my grades memories depression my ED
10.how often do you harm: ehh depends
11. Yeah
12.Do you feel the need to stop? : no I like it. I know sounds sick right?
13.are you seeking help: yeah I'm in counceling Bc ppl force me I have no choice really.
13b.do you have someone to talk to about your Sh: no because theyall freeeek out.
14.do you ever feel suicidal: a lot actually
14b. Have you ever acted on it: yeah I had to get my stomach pumped twice. Not a fun time. And had some other incedents.
15.do you express yourself creatively: yeah gutair draw paint that sorta stuff. Oh and photography.
16.no.
17. Sixteen
18.mental illnesses: ED (eating disorder) depression anxiety adjustment disorder drug addiction suicidal thoughts and tendicys
oh by the way my names annah
there are a lot of questions here. It took me forever to fill them out but here ya go (:

Current Music: asking alexandra

Current Mood: tired

tired

Current Location: my room

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odu_researcher

29 May 2012 @ 07:08 pm

Research Study- Share your Experience If You Cut

Have you intentionally cut yourself in the last 30 days? We invite you to share your experience by participating in a short online study. The purpose of this research is to examine health factors related to self-injury (without the intention to commit suicide). The results from this study are completely confidential and cannot be linked to your identity, and all procedures have been approved under the ethical guidelines set by the APA.

You must have intentionally cut yourself in the last 30 days and be 18 years of age or older to participate in this study.

If you are interested in contributing to this research, please visit:
https://periwinkle.ts.odu.edu/surveys/YMRGHS

If you have any questions, please email Tatyana Kholodkov at tkholodk@uwyo.edu or Dr. Carolyn Pepper at cpepper@uwyo.edu

Thank you for your time!

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odu_researcher

19 May 2012 @ 03:04 pm

Volunteers Needed for a Research Study on Self-Injury

Do you deliberately injure yourself or have a history of self harm? We invite you to share your experience by participating in a quick online study to learn more about people’s experience with self-injury. The purpose of this research is to understand factors associated with self-injury. The results from this study are completely confidential and cannot be linked to your identity, and all procedures have been approved under the ethical guidelines set by the APA.

You must have a history of intentional self-harm/ self-injury/ self-mutilation, and be 18 years of age or older to participate in this study.

If you are interested in contributing to this research, please visit:
https://periwinkle.ts.odu.edu/cgi-bin/qwebcorporate.dll?XD3Y8D

If you have any questions, please email Tatyana Kholodkov at tkholodk@uwyo.edu or Dr. Carolyn Pepper at cpepper@uwyo.edu

Thank you for your time!

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prettyloser362

03 January 2012 @ 03:16 pm

(no subject)

1. How long have you been harming yourself? snce i was eight years old
2. Where do you harm yourself? arms, legs, breasts
3. What do you use? anything. razors, straigh edge, saftey pin.
4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers? yes
5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think? i don't feel anything. i just want to die.
6. Do people know about your SH'ing? yes
6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say? the say don't do that
7. Do you feel SH is a good or a bad thing? both.
8. Do you harm more at any particular time during the day, or just whenever you get the urge? whenever i feel like i need to
9. What triggers you to SH? i don't really know. usually when i shut down i think i need to
10. How often do you harm? a lot less than i used to
11. Do you think you have a problem? no
12. Do you feel you need to stop? no
13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc. they all let me down
13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your SH? no
14. Have you ever felt suicidal? every day
14b. (if yes) Have you ever acted on the feeling? yes
15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art? no
16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.? no
17. *Roughly* how old are you? You don't need to be exact if you don't want... 18
18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders...? bulimia and depression. the doc and my mom say i am bipolar and have anxiey but i doubt it.

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prettyloser362

03 January 2012 @ 02:58 pm

(no subject)

i went a while without cutting. i can't remember due to the purging. it really messes with my memory. but i broke down last night/this morning and cut. it was the first time i had cut anywhere other than my arms or legs and i wish i had cut deeper and more. but i couldn't do it. i also chose another word in addition to my usual. its weird how often i cut the word die in myself. its usually out of anger. i cut 'pathetic' too. i want to cut again. right now. i don't see any reason why i shouldn't. i dont even know why i should keep living. this isn't living. this is misery.

2 responded | Respond

rjones44dd

19 November 2011 @ 05:50 pm

(no subject)

1. How long have you been self-harming? for about 30 yrs. 2. Where do you harm yourself? mostly on my thighs where most people can't see. 3. What do you use? razorblades 4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with others? very willing. 5. How do you react when you do it? What do you feel, think? i I feel relief from pent-up emotion, as I watch the blood run down my leg, I can finally breath again. 6. Do people know about your self-harming? Most people do 6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say? most peoplnne don't say anything, recently my chiropractor noticed some of my scars and asked me what happened. I said, "I cut myself." He replied, "It looks like a pirate got ahold of you." I have found if you make light of it so will others 7. Do you thing s-h is a good or bad thing? I'm ambivilent about it. 8. Do you harm more at a particular time of day or just whenever you gu

Tags: intro

Current Mood:

aggravated

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rjones44dd

19 November 2011 @ 06:15 pm

(no subject)

Sorry I had to post before completion of the intro questions. My screen froze so I had to go ahead and post early.8. Do you harm at any particular time of day or just when you get the urge? usually at night time. 9. What triggers you to s-h? Anger and rage, sometimes anxiety 10. How often do.you harm? about twice a month now. 11. Do you think you have a problem? yes 12. Do you feel the need to stop? yes. 13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy? in therapy. 13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your s-h? yes. 14. Have you ever felt suicidal? yes most days. 15. Do you express yourself creatively? yes, poetry. 16. Do you have any cutting rituals? yes, I'm getting ready to cut and counting. 17*Roughly* how old are you? 43 18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues? Bipolar disorder, PTSD, borderline disorder and alcohol dependency and social anxiety disorder.

Tags: intro

Current Mood:

depressed

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rjones44dd

19 November 2011 @ 05:50 pm

(no subject)

Tags: intro

Current Mood:

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sparkly_spike

07 July 2011 @ 01:30 pm

Welcome!

Welcome to the new members that have joined recently.

Thank you all for filling out the survey. It's lovely to know we're not the only ones battling these problems.

I am recovered, myself, but it was a very long and difficult journey and I know all of you have your own ahead of you. I wish you all the best and that you do come through the other side.

Learn from your mistakes, don't punish yourself for them.

I have a fairly hands-off approach to this community but I read your entries and any comments you leave for me.

I would just like to say to people not to post their private contact details on here. It is still an internet site and whilst I'm sure you won't have any problems, it's better to be safe than sorry. Please just LiveJournal's private messaging function to get in touch with members, or leave comments on the community for them to read. Don't hesitate to tell me, and report to LiveJournal, anybody who is hassling you or if you feel bullied or threatened in any way. I will remove anybody from the community if I see it happening.

Remember, you are not alone. If anyone here needs someone to speak to, please private message me or reply to any of my entries here. You can find me with the 'mod' tag.

I am not here to say nobody should cut, nor am I here to promote it. I just think it's important for those who choose to do it to have a place they can talk about it without upsetting or worrying people. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too.

Be safe.

Tags: mod

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scarlet_tears3

12 June 2011 @ 04:42 pm

(no subject)

1. How long have you been harming yourself? About nine months with cutting, but SH seven years.
2. Where do you harm yourself? Arms, wrists, hands, shoulders, stomach, hips, ribs, thighs, legs, ankles and feet.
3. What do you use? Knives, razors, glass (preferable), anything sharp really.
4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers? ummm, i guess im willing to.
5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think? I feel like a wave of stress go away and i feel on top of the world. I think that this is the only good thing ive ever done.
6. Do people know about your SH'ing? Not until my attempted suicide then the doctors told my parents. My two best friends knew before that, but they both did it too.
6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say? My friend told me to call her before i did it. she didnt like me cutting even though she did it too. I'm like her little sister so naturally she hated the thought of me doing it.
7. Do you feel SH is a good or a bad thing? I feel SH is good if you need it. If you dont then dont do it. .
9. What triggers you to SH? When I let my friends down.
10. How often do you harm? Every day at least twice a day until a few weeks ago then i just did it maybe once a week.
11. Do you think you have a problem? NO.
12. Do you feel you need to stop? Not really. .
13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc. My parents made me go to therpy after my term in the mental hospital was over.

13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your SH? Yes, even though i dont like to i talk to my best friend about it. she stopped SHing so she understands EVERYTHING.
14. Have you ever felt suicidal? YES.
14b. (if yes) Have you ever acted on the feeling? Three times.
15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art? I love to write stories based on what ive done (i. e pretty damn near everything)
16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.? Not that I know of.
17. *Roughly* how old are you? You don't need to be exact if you don't want... Just turned fifteen last month
18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders...? I have SEVERE genetic depression, bulemia, and anarexia.

Tags: intro

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addictionis74

28 October 2010 @ 12:31 pm

I'm new here, so here is my questions.

1. How long have you been harming yourself?: 5 yearsss.
2. Where do you harm yourself?: Well I used to cut my thighs,wrists, arms, hand,hips, knees, anywhere I could think of.. but now I only cut my hips because I cheerlead and you can see everything in those little uniforms.
3. What do you use?: Shaving razor, or box cutters.

4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers?: More than willing, I don't talk to anyone about my self-harming I would love to have someone to talk to about that..and I would love to hear other peoples stories :)

5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think?: I get more feeling while I'm doing it, it feels amazing and relieving and after i've done it I can look at what I've done & I just feel so free and in control.
6. Do people know about your SH'ing?:: Nope.
 6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say?: People used to notice and ask but not anymore.
 7. Do you feel SH is a good or bad thing?: I think in my head it's a good idea at the time but in reality it is not a good thing at all and can lead to a lot bigger things..
8. Do you harm more at any particular time during the day, or just whenever you get the urge?: I usually do it when i'm in the shower and whenever I get the urge. Nothing really stops me..
9. What triggers you to SH?: Whenever I think to much about the shit I've been through..I really don't know any other way to escape the thoughts.
10. How often do you harm?: Every couple of days.
11. Do you think you have a problem?: I don't know, sometimes but then I think other people have it so much worse...so not really.
12. Do you feel you need to stop?: I used to, but now I don't see the need to stop anytime soon.
13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc.: Not anymore, I was in therapy on and off since 7th grade, I'm now in 12th and I don't go anymore..And I was in counselling for a few months but just dropped it.
13b. Do you have someone to talk to about you SH?: Not exactly.
14. Have you ever felt suicidal?: Yeah, plenty of times.
14b. (if yes) Haver you ever acted on the feeling?: I've downed bottles of pills before thinking I wouldn't wake up and I woke up every single time, so if that counts yes.
15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art?: I write.
16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.?: Nope.
17. *Roughly* How old are you?: 17.
18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders..?: Yeah, I have depression, EDNOS(I lean more towards bulimia though), Anxiety, and PTSD.

Not sure if I did this correctly, but I think so!

Tags: intro

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blurryeyedangel

13 October 2010 @ 02:07 pm

(no subject)

I'm struggling to take control of my life, its spun outa control in recent weeks and I fear that if I can't motivate myself I will fall behind in college and have to leave.
Ive been okay for a year until now, why does it have to strike me when I need to be at my best to achieve...

If there's anyone that wants to talk add me on msn

jonathancrean@hotmail.com

Current Mood:

restless

Current Music: Thursday - Signals Over the Air

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bloodred1889

20 September 2010 @ 12:03 am

i think therefore i am?

like myself we have a tendency to be paranoid about our origins. Sometimes I suspect I am not who I think I am, like maybe I died a long time ago and somebody took my brain and stuck it in this body. Maybe there never was a real me in the first place, and I'm completely synthetic.

Tags: thoughts

Current Location: ward 8

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samantha_8

04 September 2010 @ 10:24 pm

(no subject)

1. How long have you been harming yourself?
approximately 4 months
2. Where do you harm yourself?
On my hips
3. What do you use?
Razor
4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers?
Very willing, I have noone in real life to talk to about it
5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think?
I'm quite happy, sometimes I laugh. Other times it doesnt do anything except take the cravings away
6. Do people know about your SH'ing?
My bestfriend
6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say?
She made sure I atleast wasn't suicidal and asked me what was triggering me
7. Do you feel SH is a good or a bad thing?
Both.
8. Do you harm more at any particular time during the day, or just whenever you get the urge?
Night time. That's the most dangerous time for most self harmers I've come to believe
9. What triggers you to SH?
Anger and other emotions. Also just the time of day. Cutting at night when I go have a bath/shower has just become habit
10. How often do you harm?
Usually daily
11. Do you think you have a problem?
No
12. Do you feel you need to stop?
No
13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc.
Nopee
13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your SH?
Yes, my bestfriend
14. Have you ever felt suicidal?
No
14b. (if yes) Have you ever acted on the feeling?
-
15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art?
I love writing and I do photography
16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.?
Not really. But i usually do it while running a bath and then when I get in I like seeing how the blood mixes in the water. Its really pretty
17. *Roughly* how old are you? You don't need to be exact if you don't want...
Turning 16 in december
18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders...?
I did starve myself at the end of lastyear, but I'm still a bit too naive to think of it as anorexia.

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bloodred1889

28 August 2010 @ 10:26 am

the final cut!

Thought I oughta bare my naked feelings,
Thought I oughta tear the curtain down.
I held the blade in trembling hands
Prepared to make it but....
just then the phone rang
I never had the nerve to make the final cut.

Tags: poetry

Current Location: ward 8

Current Mood:

depressed

Current Music: pink floyd: the final cut.

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sparkly_spike

27 August 2010 @ 01:08 am

Welcome

Welcome to all the recent posters to the community - I hope you all find a safe haven here to talk about your cutting habits without being told to stop or being verbally [or physically] abused. I hope you make some new friends and support networks.

Remember, if you can make it through today - you can make it through tomorrow, and if you can make it through tomorrow, you can make the rest of the week. Then you can make it through the weekend. Then another week, and then maybe a month.

Cutting, although distressing, is a very important self-preservation and even though a lot of people don't understand, many do. Hygeine and safety is of the utmost importance, and I urge anybody who has any infected wounds to get them checked by medical professionals ASAP. Surgical Spirit is great for cleaning instruments, please ensure you replace old blades regularly as well.

Just try to remember that everything bad is temporary, and I sincerely hope things get better for everybody in here very soon.

Everybody has been tremendously honest with their survey responses; and I am so appreciative of that as it seems most cutters are forced to hide their wounds and keep secrets from everybody around them. I hope this community helps someone, even just to admit they cut and that they're having a hard time in their lives.

Please feel free to post them to members only, you mustn't feel obligated to have public entries.

Poetry, writing, rants, photos, any kind of expression is also welcome here once you have posted your introductions - on which you may share as much or as little as you like, just please warn others if something may be triggering for them. I see we have an amazing amount of creative people in here - nearly every single one of you says that you express yourself through some creative outlet. I'm sure all of you are extremely talented, and I hope you never lose interest in your hobbies and passions.

Everybody, stay safe. Especially through summer when it's tempting to hide with long sleeves or cut somewhere 'less obvious'.

Don't ever let anybody make you feel bad for being who you are.

Tags: mod

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pleadyourcase

10 August 2010 @ 11:28 pm

Hello, I'm new.

1. How long have you been harming yourself? On and off for about 8-9 years.
2. Where do you harm yourself? Upper thighs, ankles area between my chest and bellybutton.
3. What do you use? Safety pins, sewing needles, knifes, thumb tacks. And recently, I've been putting a rubber band around my wrist and snapping myself with it.
4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers? Yes.
5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think? I feel better. I really do.
6. Do people know about your SH'ing? No
6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say? n/a
7. Do you feel SH is a good or a bad thing? I'm not sure. I would rather see someone self harm than commit suicide. If I had a friend that was self-harming, I would feel awful and want to help them. But we all have our own feelings and if it gets you through, while it's not the best way, as long as it keeps you alive.
8. Do you harm more at any particular time during the day, or just whenever you get the urge? Whenever I get the urge, normally it's at night though.
9. What triggers you to SH? Flashbacks due to PTSD.
10. How often do you harm? It's actually been awhile since I have self-harmed but I started again a few days ago.
11. Do you think you have a problem? I'm not sure.
12. Do you feel you need to stop? I know I should, but I don't want to.
13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc. Yes, I'm in therapy.
13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your SH? Yes, but I'm afraid I'll be Baker Acted (that's FL's version of the 72-hour psych hold)
14. Have you ever felt suicidal? Yes.
14b. (if yes) Have you ever acted on the feeling? Yes. I took about 60 Klonopin, some xanax, several atarax and 3 Ambien. But then I suddenly got scared and went to the hospital, and was held out at the mental health facility by the prison overnight. :|
15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art? I like to write when I have the time.
16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.? Nope. Sometimes I will sterilize the needles though.
17. *Roughly* how old are you? You don't need to be exact if you don't want... I'm 20, 21 in January.
18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders...? I have been officially diagnosed with depression, GAD, and PTSD. However, there is still some question as to whether or not I'm unipolar or if I somehow fall into the Bipolar NOS category.

:) Very glad to see communities like this for people that understand each other can talk about it in. <3

Tags: intro

Current Music: Safety Suit - Annie

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athousandscars

20 May 2010 @ 12:30 pm

Hi there! New face~

1. How long have you been harming yourself?
About 3 years.

2. Where do you harm yourself?
Mostly my let arm and thighs.

3. What do you use?
Razorblades, box cutters etc... I also hit myself with basically anything I can get my hands on.

4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers?
Very willing. ^^

5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think?
Relaxed, relieved, happy... I never actually feel ashamed or anything... o.O Not until somebody sees the fresh cuts, that is.

6. Do people know about your SH'ing?
Parents, friends, boyfriend...

6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say?
They've all reacted pretty well, but as usual, I've been called stupid, crazy and emo. :P

7. Do you feel SH is a good or a bad thing?
Depends on the situation. If it helps me keep myself alive when feeling suicidal, it sure is a good thing.

8. Do you harm more at any particular time during the day, or just whenever you get the urge?
Whenever i get the urge, which usually is at night. Or in the morning.

9. What triggers you to SH?
My past, social situations...

10. How often do you harm?
Sometimes I do it daily, though there are times when I can be without cutting for weeks.

11. Do you think you have a problem?
Possibly.

12. Do you feel you need to stop?
Sometimes.

13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc.
Therapy, psychologist, medication.

13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your SH?
My boyfriend and friends

14. Have you ever felt suicidal?
Yes. Almost all the time nowadays.

14b. (if yes) Have you ever acted on the feeling?
Yup. A couple times with pills and alcohol.

15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art?
Yes, I write a lot, draw and paint. (I'm an art student.)

16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.?
Not actually. I have to be in a quiet place though. And have something to wipe the blood with.

17. *Roughly* how old are you? You don't need to be exact if you don't want...
18, turning 19 in july.

18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders...?
Borderline personality disorder, and I'm recovering from an eating disorder.

Tags: intro

Current Mood: bored

bored

1 response | Respond

staccato_volley

13 April 2010 @ 12:27 am

Relapsed

Hello all.
Underwent a purge of all SI communities in a bid to become clean, now rejoining them all in my failure. Not that I really wanted to get well.
You know the drill. Anywho here are answers to the usual questions.

I have been harming for about 2-3 years. I'm not sure precisely how long, I try not to remember.
The thousands of scars amass mostly on my thighs, with the odd mark elsewhere.
My tools include razors, heated metal, jellyfish (once) ice/salt, my own fingernails.

I am willing to talk about self harm to anyone... Under my cover of anonymity. Glory to the Internet.
After a cutting episode, I feel stronger, my ability to endure hardship is reaffirmed. It is a grim satisfaction, and I feel no shame whatsoever. The wounds are coveted as trophies.
My partner is aware of my problems, as is a friend whom I loved like a sister. I was a shit to her and she deserted me quicksmart.

While it does not kill a person, SH is neither bad nor good of itself. Merely the stimulus towards it.
There is something about the night time that lets the monsters out. That is my prime time for pain.
There are really no identifiable triggers to me. It jumps into my head sporatically.
I don't have a regularity of SI.

Do I have a problem... Emotionally, yes. As to the SI? No, that isn't a problem in my mind,
Stopping... I am in a state of confusion about that. Sometimes I think I must, other times I am apathetic.
I am not seeking help.

I do not talk about my SI. My boyfriend already bears the weight of my anxiety and depression, so I don't go into too much detail about the joys of blood letting.
Suicidal is such a hard thing to define... I have gone through periods where it fills my thoughts, and I imagine endless scenarios... But no, I haven't ever been suicidal.

I used to be very creative. I danced endlessly, I painted, I drew, I wrote my fancies in the form of long stories... But now I am dead. I do not write nor paint nor dance.
I nearly always cut to music. I am also very neat.
I am 20.

A doctor has diagnosed something called Generalised Anxiety Disorder, which to me sounds like doctor for" no actual disorder but is somehow managing to be fucked up anyway".

--Medusa.

Tags: intro

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lotusunfolding

14 December 2009 @ 11:05 am

Just joined.

1. How long have you been harming yourself? Nearly 3 years.
2. Where do you harm yourself? Tops of my legs and arms occasionally.
3. What do you use? Razor or blades out of pencil sharpeners.
4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers? Very willing, at whatever depth the sufferer feels comfortable with.
5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think? I can either go very calm or even more wound up and dangerous. It's usually the former.
6. Do people know about your SH'ing? My family and the mental health team.
6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say? My family have become more supportive over time. The mental health team have been brilliant.
7. Do you feel SH is a good or a bad thing? I think it's neutral. Obviously it isn't very safe to hurt yourself but it does serve a purpose and has saved lives, even.
8. Do you harm more at any particular time during the day, or just whenever you get the urge? Usually in the late evening when I have some time to myself.
9. What triggers you to SH? Feeling wound up, flashbacks, etc.
10. How often do you harm? Once or twice a week now.
11. Do you think you have a problem? I think I've found a way of coping.
12. Do you feel you need to stop? Not at the moment.
13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc. Yup. I'm currently in therapy.
13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your SH? I can talk to my parents or my psych.
14. Have you ever felt suicidal? Yes I have.
14b. (if yes) Have you ever acted on the feeling? I've planned how I would do it and set a date, but got help before then.
15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art? Yess :) I play piano, write poetry and I'm into photography.
16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.? I prefer to shave but I don't always. I always clean the area with antiseptic/antibacterial stuff before as if I'm preparing for surgery, which feels a bit strange...
17. *Roughly* how old are you? You don't need to be exact if you don't want... I'm 16, I don't mind saying my age. :)
18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders...? Depression, dissociation, PTSD and "eating issues".

Tags: intro

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guovsahas

27 January 2009 @ 07:42 am

Intro

I just joind.. so.. well.. here we go

1. How long have you been harming yourself? for about 7 years now i think

2. Where do you harm yourself? arms, legs, mainly arms tho

3. What do you use? razorblades, used knifes from time to time, but I'll always go back to them razors

4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers? I think so

5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think? I think I feel calm, but then later, i feel revolted bout what I'm done, and feel more worse then from the beginning.

6. Do people know about your SH'ing? my boyfriend, my family, a few friends.

6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say? my mom and sis just said OMG, cos they hadnt quite realized how scarry my arms looked. Nowerdays we dont talk about it, she (mom) calls on me from time to time just to ask if I "done" anything lately..

7. Do you feel SH is a good or a bad thing? Deepdown I think, I think it's a bad thing. But I dont want to connect myself with that, since it makes me feel better

8. Do you harm more at any particular time during the day, or just whenever you get the urge? when I get the urge, and thats often at night, but far from always.

9. What triggers you to SH? my emotions (like angst, stress, to make sure Im still alive) things I read, pictures, people talking about stuff n so on and so forth

10. How often do you harm? It varies. From not doing anything for months to cut every singel day of the week, to, every single hour of every single day of the week... almost

11. Do you think you have a problem? they say I do

12. Do you feel you need to stop? sometimes

13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc. Not directly.

13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your SH? just a person I met when I was hospitalized
14. Have you ever felt suicidal? yes.

14b. (if yes) Have you ever acted on the feeling? yes

15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art? when I feel to bad I dont do anything like that, but writing, painting,

16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.? None that I can think of

17. *Roughly* how old are you? You don't need to be exact if you don't want... 23 .

18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders...?depression, PTSD, BPD and various
minor stuff

Tags: intro

Current Music: winter - tori amos

Current Location: my bed

Current Mood: apathetic

angst

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bondage_kittty

10 December 2008 @ 07:57 pm

New

Just wanted to say hi to everyone I`m new to the community..I`m 24 years old..I`v been cutting for over 12 years now..:) um I`m a really easy person to get along with it.. I`m here to listen:) and thats me..I ride horses..I have a horse, and he helps me as well when I`m feeling down..any way thanks

Tags: intro

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invalidpasscode

16 October 2008 @ 08:07 am

Be warned....

For those of you who post regularly about cutting...be warned.

I learned last night that you can have the cops called on you and they will take you against your will if any of the following applies to you:

1.) You have a history of cutting (even if you have no fresh cuts on you)
2.) You seem depressed and have a PREVIOUS history of suicidal tendancies
3.) You are prescribed medication that you cannot afford to purchase.

Be VERY careful what you post online. I suggest that you post things friends only so that those who do not understand cannot penalize you for utilizing an outlet to vent and/or cope.
As I learned tonight, they can and WILL track you down via your IP address if someone alerts the authorities, and the person who alerts the authorities does not even have to know you personally.

If the authorities are alerted, you WILL be handcuffed. You will be treated like a criminal and you WILL be escorted to the nearest hospital.

If this is not community related, feel free to delete. I just thought we all should be careful.

x-posted

Tags: thoughts

5 responded | Respond

insidiousdreamz

12 October 2008 @ 02:06 pm

introduction..

I've been a member for a while now, filled this out when I first joined but alot of things have changed since then so I'm filling it out again..

1. How long have you been harming yourself? about ten years now..

2. Where do you harm yourself? arms, chest, legs.

3. What do you use?safety pins, needles, knives, I used broken glass once..

4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers?with other sufferers I'm willing, with people who don't I'm not.

5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think?I feel calm at first, like I'm high, then later I feel ashamed, mad at myself, scared someone will find out.

6. Do people know about your SH'ing?my mom, a couple close non-sh'ing friends, my cousin.

6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say?my mom flipped out and would check my arms for cuts, after a few months she stopped, told me if she saw it again she'd have me committed.

7. Do you feel SH is a good or a bad thing?I'm on the fence about it.. it just depends on the day I guess.

8. Do you harm more at any particular time during the day, or just whenever you get the urge? usually late at night, or when I'm alone.

9. What triggers you to SH?my emotions mostly, anger, anxiety, sadness.. etc.

10. How often do you harm?it varies, sometimes I can go months without, or I do it once a week, it all depends.

11. Do you think you have a problem? yes and no.

12. Do you feel you need to stop? yes and no. the main reason I feel I need to stop is because I know I'm setting a bad example for my cousin, shes exactly like me especially with her self harming and I don't want her to end up like me in 15 years.

13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc. I was for a while, but my therapist made me feel like I was crazy because he had never dealt with self-harming before so I quit going.

13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your SH?my 14 year old cousin.. shes the only one who seems to understand.

14. Have you ever felt suicidal? yes.

14b. (if yes) Have you ever acted on the feeling?no, my father tried to commit suicide when I was 16 and two of my close friends commited suicide so I don't want to put my family and friends thru that.

15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art?writing mostly, and music.

16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.?not really, I shower immediately afterwards, and usually go to bed before the high wears off and the guilt sets in.

17. *Roughly* how old are you? You don't need to be exact if you don't want...28.

18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders...?depression, anxiety.

Tags: intro

Current Location: my bedroom floor..

Current Mood: cold

cold

Current Music: don't confess-tegan and sara

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dr4gon_grrl

12 October 2008 @ 07:24 pm

Intros...

1. How long have you been harming yourself? Since I was 13. I'm 16 now.
2. Where do you harm yourself? Usually my hipbones, or the side of my breasts/ribs. Sometimes arms or upper legs.
3. What do you use? Craft knife, razors, whatever I can find.
4. How willing are you to talk about self-harm with other sufferers? Fairly. I have one RL friend who's a cutter, and we can happily chat. I'm cool with LJ posts, too. I'm not that new to this stuff.
5. How do you react after you've done it? What do you feel, think? I'm calm, I'm happy, I'm almost on a high... it makes me feel so at-peace with the world. It calms me down no end, and it makes me feel so good.
6. Do people know about your SH'ing? Only one. And he cuts, too, so he can't talk.
6b. If so, has anyone ever said something to you about it? What did they say? A lot of my friends [bf included] are really anti-cutting, but they don't know I still do it. I've been sent to psychs and everything. Currently on Aropax. But I don't care.
7. Do you feel SH is a good or a bad thing? Good... if I couldn't SH, I'd be in a mental hospital.
8. Do you harm more at any particular time during the day, or just whenever you get the urge? I cut in my bed, just before I go to sleep. I wish I could cut more often, but I still live with my anti-SH folks.
9. What triggers you to SH? Stress, anger, any feelings basically. Except happiness.
10. How often do you harm? Anywhere from once a week to once a day to once an hour... depends how bad I am.
11. Do you think you have a problem? Lol... probably. But I don't care.
12. Do you feel you need to stop? Nope.
13. Are you seeking help, or are you in therapy/counselling, etc. Used to be, but I talked my way out of it.
13b. Do you have someone to talk to about your SH? My SHing RL friend.
14. Have you ever felt suicidal? Tried it a few times, always failed.
14b. (if yes) Have you ever acted on the feeling? Yes... never succeeded.
15. Do you express yourself creatively, ie. writing, singing, playing an instrument, art? I write and draw on myself. I used to play the flute, still randomly do [as well as piano].
16. Do you have any cutting rituals? Shaving before cutting, naming the implement, etc.? Nope. I just cut.
17. *Roughly* how old are you? You don't need to be exact if you don't want... 16 years old.
18. Do you suffer with any other mental health issues such as depression, eating disorders...? ED [mostly ana], bipolar, mildly schizophrenic and manic-depressive.

Tags: intro

Current Mood: morose

morose

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