The Good: Your son just brought home a perfect report card.

7. The bad: It isn't his, it belongs to his little brother.
The worse: His little brother lives on the other side of the country. (CaseyJP)

6. The bad: He dropped from A+ to A-.
The worse: This was four years ago. (Gilbert)

5. The bad: He had to have sex with his teachers.
The worse: They were all men. (MC Phly)

4. The bad: Your son attends "Raffi Von Fufu's Beauty College for Boys."
The worse: Your son celebrates his achievement by treating himself to a hair dye at the salon. (KCSunshine)

3. The bad: He forged all the A's.
The worse: He did a better job than you when you were in 2nd grade. (JGD)

2. The bad: You'll have to follow through with that promise you made him.
The worse: That promise was to buy him a million dollar stripper. (Nadroj 1999)

And #1:

1. The bad: It's written in crayon, and spelled wrong.
The worse: It was written by his teacher.

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Top Ten Signs It's Really Cold Out

10. Unable to read this list.

9. Coffee-slurpee... it starts out warm, but them you can have a nice cold treat.

8. Now sitting next to your computer's fan hoping to get warm.

7. The mailman took the day off!

6. You're frozen in your car and don't really care.

5. My tunge es tuck oo the pole.

4. You are yelling to people in front of your house "YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY HEAT!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!"

3. Looks like that air-conditioner you bought yesterday is nogood.

2. You went swimming and ice skating at the same time.

And the number one reason:

1. Politicians now are keeping their hands in their pockets!