reality | Conortje

We all go back to where we belong

17 11 2011

The trouble is I don’t know where I belong. When I first got back to Ireland I kept repeating the phrase to friends that I was ‘back in reality’. But then when I spoke on the phone with my friends in Ghana it was pretty obvious that that was reality too. And then there are my wonderful friends in The Netherlands, continuing their real lives in the lowlands without me.

Without a job and living in a town where I know nobody apart from family I spent huge chunks of my time pouring over photos from my travels. I couldn’t shake the feeling that my travelling life felt more real to me than trawling through the Irish job sites every morning. Why can’t my reality consist of hiking through the Andes, feeding monkeys on a rooftop in India, gazing at the Moai statues on Easter island trying to figure them out, attempting to establish if the ‘vegetarian intestines’ on the menu in China really were vegetarian or shaking fins with a shark in the deep ocean of the Galapagos? A line in book I read recently summed it all up perfectly:

This is what happened when one left one’s home – pieces of oneself scattered all over the world, no one place ever completely satisfied, always a nostalgia for the places left behind.

And then I figured it all out. All I need to do is have enough money to do everything – be everywhere and with everyone. I closed the browser, reassured that I didn’t need a job after all and I happily sauntered into town to buy a lotto ticket. A modest investment to furnish me with the life I wanted. Why on earth hadn’t I thought of this earlier?

In my head I began making lists of where I’d go and what to bring. Which places would I go back to and which were worth sacrificing for the sake of discovering the new. At 8pm I checked the numbers to be certain of what I knew had to be true. Remarkably by some enormous cosmic cock up something had gone radically wrong. Not even one number? How was this possible? I had decided what was reality and now it turned out it simply didn’t exist. But then again maybe it was merely behind schedule. Maybe reality would start a week later, after next week’s draw… that must be it.

But just in case I checked the job postings again. In fact I had just received an e mail with a ridiculously exciting title. We have found your perfect job. Hurray I thought – if the job title isn’t ‘lotto winner’ then surely it will be something that will get me out of Tralee and enable me to pretend to be a real person again. Who needs reality if you have a super duper fulfilling job?

I opened up the e mail and instantly closed it again in utter shock – clearly I had read it wrong. On my second attempt I realised that the computer hadn’t lied. Recruit Ireland had decided that my perfect job would be as a ‘Beef de-boner in Norway’.

Seeing as I am a vegetarian and find any temperature under 10 degrees a major challenge I decided that Recruit Ireland were finding the concept of reality just as challenging as I was. Anyway why on earth can’t the Norwegian beef eaters deal with the bones themselves?

So now my reality involves desperately searching for an interesting job, interspersing that with diving into the comfort of my photos and trying to wean myself off my newly established weekly gambling problem. One of these days I’ll have to get back to wherever it is I belong.

In the meantime, I wonder how bad can de-boning Norwegian beef really be…

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Tags: deboning beef in Norway, fantasy, jobs, reality, unemployment, work
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You already know how this will end

17 11 2010

Our days in Ouro Preto were relaxing and sunshine filled. It’s a gorgeous town built on a series of challenging hills which we happily conquered as we struggled up and down merrily in the sun. We explored the lanes, artisan shops and cafes of this picturesque UNESCO World Heritage Site. For added energy boosts we tucked into bowls of delicious Açai which is a frozen snack made from a berry that grows in the north of Brazil. It is ubiquitous in Brazil having gained a reputation not only for making a delicious ice-cream-like dish but for being ridiculously high in anti-oxidants and vitamins. It is also unparalleled for giving you a cool energy blast when the sun has zapped all your energy. Lazing on the beach can be exhausting too you know.

Despite the wonderful green hills that surround the colonial town and its charming centre, what I will remember always about this place is the shower in the hostel we stayed at. On the first morning I was happily showering away when I saw, in utter horror, worms crawling up from the drains. If you heard a high pitched far-away shriek in the beginning of October the chances are that you witnessed my most manly reaction to this horrific nightmare.

After our few days in Ouro Preto it was time to forget about hills and worms and so we made our way to our final destination in South America – Salvador da Bahia! Salvador is Brazil’s fourth largest city and also the home of my Occasionally Polyglot Friend. For over a week he and his husband opened up their home to us and showed us their city. As a final destination on my epic journey it was such a treat to finish off being spoiled rotten and not having to make any decisions or worry about where our next accommodation would be.

We also got a unique chance to experience real Brazilian life by going to see a favela and a Candomblé ceremony (which involved adults being possessed by spirits of children and racing about with soothers in their mouths as they played and fought with each other). We went to museums, ate at the city’s best ice-cream parlours and frequented the best beaches the area has to offer. As we sipped delicious caipirinhas we tried our very best not to think that this was the end of our adventures. Most of the time we succeeded, delighted to be in the company of my OPF – a person who manages to entertain and inspire with an effortless flair.

But eventually our inevitable last day arrived and denial was no longer an option. With an incredibly heavy heart we had to say goodbye to our friends, to Brazil, to the sunshine and heat, to the beaches and blue skies, to the adventure of a lifetime, to a year that has without a doubt been motivating, stimulating and a pure delight. It also left me smothered in questions; where do I get a new job? what kind of job will that be? where do we want to live? why does it have to be Winter in Europe now? why can’t I just be paid to be a blogger and travel the world?

But at least I was returning for a good reason. My Occasionally Scientific Sister was getting married and a good old family party was waiting for our return. Whether or not it was enough to distract us from the cold and rain was yet to be seen but my god do I have memories and stories to keep me going for a long time.

But not forever that is for sure – I am not finished with travelling just yet. It may take some time to organize and a spell of dipping my toes back into reality to replenish the empty bank account, but I have made a promise to the world. I will be back.

Don’t go anywhere.