THE SANCTUARY

THE SANCTUARY

The Downhearted and Desolate Organisation

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Join the LiveJournal Revival!

[25 Oct 2025|03:50pm]

rock_dinosaur

[

mood

busy

]

Are you fed-up with garbage, full-of-shit sites where nobody actually communicates, such as Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and Twitter? Do you wish your old friends who've migrated to those sites would return to LiveJournal? The

the_lj_revival community has been set up with that aim in mind, and you are invited to join it. If you are already on LiveJournal and still have a Facebook profile, and would like to see more people returning to LJ or setting up accounts here, we invite you to post a link to this community on your Facebook Timeline. If you would like to find out who is still using LiveJournal and make contact with those who are already here, you are invited to copy and paste the 'about me' questions on the profile page and post them with your answers to the community.

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[28 Jul 2005|06:29pm]

suburbanitespy

Twentyfour tears from a dead angels eyes leak black onto the pillow where she lays her head, cracked and faded like an old china doll... Her memories stir through her lifeless corpse and a smile breaks her blue lips. "Not here", she says, then shes gone... The blood turns to ashes and a sense of loss prevails, a disembodied voice tells me "No one wins" and I accept this without question... A scream transcends reality and a thousnd mirrors smash, oblivion becomes truth and we all become lies... Perceptions alter and what was white becomes red, the innocents have seen this before, ask them... The spirit of perfection is alive here, offering her pale soft hand to the blinded men who beg for absolution from the eternity they suffer, beg for the real death that both she and I know can never be achieved... Turning to me she becomes stricken with infinity, aware of the aware, and I see that where her eyes once were bright, shining endless time, now theres only lascivious insanity... A wretched soul, bereft of the compassion she had promised, become a vessel for the souls of the souless only to be deprived her own... No sympathy for the dispossessed, the broken or the lonely... "You'll never be forgotten" She whispers in my ear, "You'll never be forgiven" She whispers in my head, "You'll never be allowed to die" She screams into my dreams... The sickness that destroys, the certainty of demise, the abject humiliation of being aware... Glass shards reflect the hollow, force the truth and expect all that can't be given for their troubles... "Follow the future" Cry the beggars from the eternal damnation that they bare, "Don't be afraid"... Tempted by temptation, tarnished by a scarlet imperfection that appeals to the wasters and the the wasted, I accept the offer and begin to fall... Into the mouth of redemption the burnt soar, ushered on by madness and contaminated with the sanity of the unquestioned... Abandoned by my guide, forsaken and left alone, smashed and broken by the bones of everyone I once loved... A spiteful laugh echos in a thousand recognisable voices that pivot and crash against the walls of this unfamiliar cell, filling it slowly with the hatred I already drown in... The demons appear then, reveal themselves finally, these hideous wraiths of illusion and disillusion who wear the shrouds of shadow that blanket every corner of every consciousness they've ever consumed... "See, you'll NEVER be forgiven", I hear her voice and believe for a moment I'm saved, "Never forget, never forgotten" she speaks so softly... Porcelain blades swing, cut me loose from the umbilical binds that have burnt and slit my wrists, pools of despair join the rush as it spills from my veins... Acceptance wins the war, an undisputed battle of attrition that I always knew I wouldn't win... I give in... The pleas of the suffering are once again ignored as my angel appears and blankets me in the warmth that only submission has to offer...

Not exactly a poem I know but I don't know what else to call it... I could probably do with some guidance... Anyway, hope you liked it...

(Follow the crowd?)

[29 Jun 2005|01:50am]

moralbankruptcy

(Follow the crowd?)

[23 May 2005|05:54pm]

moralbankruptcy

_my_umbrella

(2 outcasts | Follow the crowd?)

[26 Apr 2005|10:51pm]

karendunicorn

inside of me.

(2 outcasts | Follow the crowd?)

i'm confussssssssssed!!!

[20 Feb 2005|09:55pm]

radicaltina

he's a fucker...a fucking fucker...why!!!!? just why!?

to the unknown:

i can't forget my forboding;
but yet he deletes me,
any trace of my love;
he doesn't let the world see.

the holes in your pocket match the holes in your head;
you tell me you'll keep me,
but only in bed.

say you love me;
say it twice,
speak it again and pay a price.
adore my soul, but hate my face;
make a wish,
my body replaced.

a heart of silk, and one of rock;
mine is easily torn,
tear it please, now in shock.
...
i wear pieces on my sleeve;
plaid, and stripped,
they all rip or leave.

touch my hand;
make me weak,
i'm your sand;
i scatter.

wearing pants around your feet;
poor little whore,
i know the same beat;
i'm prone to rape as well.

blood that's lost oxygen;
we fade in color.
petal less rose;
only thorns intact.

aimlessly you'll wonder;
my halls,
now lost.
then you'll ponder;
at no cost.
...

as for me;
i lie half whole,
but you can't see.
(you never will)

~me.

(2 outcasts | Follow the crowd?)

hi....

[03 Jan 2005|05:34pm]

shatterall

[

mood

neutral

]

Poem:

Iron bars are cold
And smooth
But not perfect
My fingers find tiny faults
This cage is not closed
This chain has broken links
But I am not free

This chain is heavy
And broken
At my feet
This cage is missing bars
And the prison lock
Is missing too
But I am not free

(Follow the crowd?)

[26 Nov 2004|01:20pm]

radicaltina

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It takes about three minutes...it's worth a try :)

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT WON"T TURN OUT RIGHT!

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family....) in the 4th, 5th,

and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11.

GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!!

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game.....

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. and 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

(2 outcasts | Follow the crowd?)

[18 Oct 2004|06:09pm]

radicaltina

old thoughts dance in the back of my mind. tears that have been shed for the same reasons linger around my eye lashes once more...i'm back to were i started, and that's no where.

(to someone i use to care for with all my heart) now it's only a void.

you're the pointless person:

you're lacking substance in your mind;
the ugly faces you see are really your own,
you can't stop to help, but you can to scorn;
your so impudent for an insecure fool,
how i wish you were never born.
this world thinks your lovely, i use to too,
but i can see beyond, for i see your horns.

i am the same, but i know what i am;
(i'm no longer sane)
so why don't you think your pointless,
for you are the greater void in this world.
why don't you hate yourself;
is it because you have a gun,
that you point at everyone, but yourself...
(i wish you'd shoot your pride)

you think you're so high above me;
but you don't know we're up against the same wall,
and we share the same grave;
for we have sinned the same sin,
and we deserve nothing but hell.

i think you should fall;
hit your head, let in knock sense in there.
sit down, why stand so tall?
you're a cripple now;
so don't try to hide the fact you're missing your spine!
you can't get by me, i know you to well.
i also know your only aim in life is down;
i want you to leave with out making a sound,
so let me cut your vocal cords.

i wish you could see your soul;
over the passing years it's become dull,
hold it up to the morning light, and you still won't see any shine.
but you'll see the cracks and flaws;
maybe you'll want to fix them before you rot.
(to bad you're dead to me)

every breath you took while i loved you;
was one more second you let pandora's box out unto me,
you helped corrupted my mind as well as the world;
so now we have to suffer from what you did,
this is all from you, and cause of you.
why make us cry tears that you've already shed?
i'm tired of everything you put me through!
just STOP!
stop, and look;
look what you've done to me, and your world.

you've broken your connections;
you've broken my heart,
so now you have nothing to run to.

~me...how i loved you.

(Follow the crowd?)

Revised

[16 Oct 2004|05:02pm]

alivoutofhabit

Easy Way Out Pt.3

eyes close,
he puts the dark tube in his mouth.
the cold metal numbing his cheeks,
sweaty hands shake,
throats choked with sorry,
sinful thoughts pierce his mind,
a tear rolls down his face,
the gun in his hand manages him a quick smile,
eyes burn,
he see's the cause of his destruction,
once so beautiful,
now gives darkness, and false hope,
eyes draw tighter,
darkness cover's his mind,
hands shake violently,
jaws clench on his forgiving tool,
his life is forfiet,
as he pulls the life ending trigger.
The flase hope is gone,
His neverending darkness ensure's. - C.M.

(Follow the crowd?)

[16 Oct 2004|12:24pm]

radicaltina

perfect day:

i wish for idle things on the humble stars;
they have no right to be bothered so,
but no one can really see all the scars;
i had to endure for every wish,
it was my choice for this awful punishment.
so please don't say i told you so;
i know what i've done to myself,
and so i'll take the blame.
(once more)

how can a love hurt so much?
it wasn't a true feeling;
it was the slightest touch,
it was all to much...
to much for me to understand;
to much to comprehend,
not good enough for your demand.
i will never be want you want.

you put me through hell;
you let your demons on my back,
why try to hurt me?
take them back!
what is it you need from me?
can't you feel, why don't you see?

i see now, you were over me;
i'm still stumbling over thoughts of you,
why can't you feel my soul acing!?
everything i see or do;
it all reminds me of you,
i hear your voice, i breath your name;
i know it will never be the same,
how my heart is still breaking...

i wish you consumed me soul;
take over my emotions,
cause now your gone;
and it hurts so much,
and i can't control myself;
i need to be near you,
i function better.

i want to fall in your arms once more;
i want to be the simple love you've sought for,
i thought i use to be...
but i know i'm to much to clean up after;
we are both misunderstood,
can't you see?
i know we need each other;
why won't you let it be...

please don't hold this back.

~me...call me ash...

(Follow the crowd?)

[13 Oct 2004|07:29pm]

radicaltina

[

mood

IN LOVE...(I'M AFRAID)

]

I THINK I LIKE HIM TOOO MUCH...

hate is my love:

what will i become if i can't speak;
i will be unable to testify my feelings,
you will leave with never knowing;
if so all will be lost, and a waste of time.

emotions are talking over my body;
i need an exorcist to take these feelings out of me,
i don't want them here, yet they come, and go;
pretty soon they will take over me fully,
i will no longer have any say;
i want to aspire to have your name...

this love for a person so far away;
how this hurts to stand alone,
i see you smile at someone else's will,
this infirmity of jealousy is running through my veins;
i want you to be content,
but don't go a stray from me.

let me be your smiling fool;
let me walk behind you so i can adore your ways,
stop to look at me, and let me blush in your arms.
i know this will end so sudden, and so fast;
but may we enjoy it while it lasts?

if not then stop noticing me in the crowds of people;
stop speaking lovely words i will never fully understand,
stop living, stop breathing, stop being wonderful;
stop torturing me with your lovely ways!

this foreign feeling confuses me;
my head starts to spin,
everything is in motion, and i'm going to fall;
then i see you, and i focus back in.

you're my fault;
my heart is on my sleeve,
take it please, cause it's free;
my love is here for anyone to obtain,
but for now i want you to have it...

when we part it will be the saddest of sorrows;
for you will never come back to me,
and i will never come to you;
are love is not undying, but it is pure,
how i wish there was something we could do.

we can't aspire any higher then this...
for we are worlds apart;
it's just to much to handle,
i will leave, and give you my heart.

for i long to walk with you side by side;
in a dream of everlasting halls,
there will be no one except you, and me;
the world will let us be.

~me...*sigh

(1 outcast | Follow the crowd?)

[11 Oct 2004|06:21pm]

radicaltina

[

mood

bouncy

]

i want your true opinon; read this poem, and tell me if you like it.

consumed:

news worse then death is over shadowing me once more;
for my soul is afflicted with somber strife, and sorrows of lonely stars,
because every lovely bird must take flight;
how i wish i could clip your wings.

my heart will never be whole again i've given pieces away to often, and to soon;
so in the end i will never know full content.
is it my fault for adoring an angelic soul, with a graced face?
how could you not, temptation was past me;
for it was not a lust, but a need.

i won't adore another image except the one embedded in my eye;
which you already know is you.
so i place my heart of glass in your one scared hand;
break it if you want to,
i assure you i can endure the pain;
but can your stainless hands be idle with my trifle emotions?
you are to exalted for something as low as me...

the world thinks my intentions are from dote thoughts;
if everyone only knew my love was but an infirmity that has consumed me fully,
but why should i care, just as long as i'm with you.
i will be enamored by you forever, and ever;
these feelings we share are unconditional,
but when we part dolor feeling overwhelm me;
so when you do leave how will i be?

you're no soft drug, but an addictive presence;
i need a dose of you every other hour,
and that will hardly get me through the day.

please lull my spirit, and embrace me in your arms;
all i want is affection back,
but in the end it's always to much to ask for.
nothing will ever go my way;
i'm will never obtain any appeasing moment in my life,
and so i'm left with insanity to hold to...

~me

(Follow the crowd?)

[06 Oct 2004|10:18pm]

radicaltina

fickle girl, shallow mind:

so many people i don't know;
all the things i try to do,
so many things i must let go.
i'm doing this to my self;
hurting my soul, pushing my love behind,
placing my emotions on the shelf;
(what for)

am i alive to you?
how cute that is, but see i am dead;
i am dead to me...
(i am nothing)
so who are you, thinking anything else?
try to be like me;
then you will see.

lalala, i sing myself to sleep...
i walk alone, only to watch my feet;
i sit alone, only to weep.
i embrace my fears;
(they're all i'll ever have)
i comfort my own tears.
(they're all i'll ever have)

i am the demon creations;
i am the thing from under the rock, that now you kick around,
i am nothing...
what are you?
just a pointless nothing like me?
probably...

i've been cut so deep;
the wound will never heal,
there will always be a scar;
it is down to the bone,
you can look if you want...
(an invitation)
i will never let it recover;
i will peel the scab off,
and let it bleed once more.
i will never heal from you...
I WILL NEVER RECOVER...

i see pictures of the past;
they make me fall, and cry for you,
they're of things i could of had...
things that i wanted alone;
you had other things in your mind,
so now i am here...

sadly enough, i am just fine.
even though i will never show;
my emotions are left behind,
i will never let go;
there is to much i know.
i've said it all before;
so now you've got to see...
(the fickle girl, and her shallow mind)

~me

(2 outcasts | Follow the crowd?)

[03 Oct 2004|02:52pm]

radicaltina

i'm going to write a bio about myself...

my name is kristina, but my family, and a few close friends call me ash. i'm 16, my birth day is july 26, the same as mick jagger's from the stone's. i'm in 11th grade at some stuck up, snob hill high school; everyone there is "perfect"...and they're all really rich, and ill content. i'm a loner, except for this year...i've made a friend with the exchange student, which is sad, cause he'll be leaving and we'll never see each other again...grr...um...i'm 5'6, red eyes, long dark brown hair(it's to my butt), fair skin, full lips...i'm some what chubby...but we won't get into that, i'm pretty...well i think i am(sort of) i'm half asian, and italian...and yet i look like neither of those things.

some things that i like to do are: drawing, writing poetry, screaming, fighting, sleeping, writing music, walking for hours on the beach till i come to the next town...i like getting lost...i'm just me, and in the end it really isn't much.

some bands that i like are: the cure, garbage, hole, bjork, local h, fat boy slim, the chem brothers, massive attack, r.e.m, NIN, the smashing pumpkins, enya, red hot chili peppers, kmfdm, mdfmk, cold play, cradle of filth, billy idol, guns and roses, the doors, fiona apple...um there's more but it'll be to much to write...

so i think that's it for now...if you have any questions just ask...~ash

(Follow the crowd?)

[03 Oct 2004|02:41pm]

radicaltina

hello...i'm new...hate me.

a lie can have a love song:

i won't except the reality of things;
i don't want to live in the now,
let me hide behind the beauty of dreams.
for ever in a lie can we sleep;
you, and me...in a bed of stars?

when i met you i was in a padded cell;
but now that i've felt you by my side,
i'm in a mental institution.
i'd do anything for you;
i'd selvage my self to prostitution,
even though you were the only person to pay me heed.

i want you to hurt me;
watch me bleed, can i stain your soul?
can i trouble you with my pain, and guilt?
i am nothing worth seeing;
you are the best thing in this dirty world,
i am nothing worth being;
yet you are still right here...

but when you see my true ways;
will you still think the same?
i hope you do.
because, it's getting down to the wire;
and it's to late for rejection,
cause you will always be my one desire.
you will always be a spreading infection;
control me fully.

take over all my emotions;
rape my soul,
violate my heart...
cut me to the bone, so you can see what's really in side of me.

i need help...if you only knew.
i'm so confused, and you seem to know where to go;
will you take me with you,
or am i not what you needed?
i wish i knew what thoughts were in your pretty head;
you know mine, cause you have a few little birdies.

i feel as if i need you so much;
but we are nothing for each other.
why are we this way?
you know me so well;
you can finish me hateful words.

i wish i was meant for you;
i wish i was yours,
do you know you have the world in your hands?
so why would you want me too?
why like me at all...
i'd end up hurting one of us...

if only...i could tell you somethings wrong with me.

i'm not sure what i should listen to any more;
my mind is poluted by your thoughts,
i wish i knew what i wanted, and where to find it.
i have to get over this sickness of mine;
i wish you could help me,
but you have become a shodow from the past.

i read aloud my thought, hoping you will relate;
but you keep saying i'm to late,
i stop to think...how could this be?

the nouise is around my neck;
all you have to do is pull the chair from under me,
then you can watch my world choke for you.

i wish i was a fickle whore;
the girls you tend to date,
but sorry my dear, i'm above that;
but i can see you aren't!

i really thought the world of you;
i loved all the things you tryed to do,
and so i'm here alone.
i am so lame;
when you left i felt as if i couldn't walk with out you.
why even bother to keep a tab;
cause if i had the money, i would call a cab,
so it drive me to you,
but i'd only do it to hurt you the way you hurt me;
cause you still have my heart, and with was my sypathy,
look what you have done to me!

i want you to know something;
in time someone will cut you so deep,
you won't stop bleeding...but for now you have the knife.

~me...

(1 outcast | Follow the crowd?)

Easy way out

[12 Sep 2004|08:08pm]

alivoutofhabit

He passes the stop sign by her house,
speeding like a bullet from a gun,
his hearts racing, blood pumping,
The scene replays itself again,
Tears run freely down his cheeck,
darkening his already black shirt,
He ask's himself if she's worth it,
of course she's worth it, she was his life.
His hands are numb from gripping the wheel,
he see's a tree in the distance,
The tree looks so inviting, so forgiving,
his foot hits the pedal, the car's a blur,
As he's just feet from the tree,
he closes his eyes, and see's her..
- C.M.

quick, stupid poem.. but makes you think.. your car's not only a weapon to everyone on the road.. but also to yourself..

(2 outcasts | Follow the crowd?)

Bad Poetry

[11 Sep 2004|06:38am]

bohemianxqueen

[

mood

depressed

]

Bad Poetry

Dreaming of another day
When I can be without you
You are in my dreams, every day
How I wish I didn't think of you
You are there, tempting me everyday

Little thoughts inside my head
And they all relate to you
Sometimes wish that I was dead
Instead of suffering to thoughts of you
Dreaming... get out of my head

I keep on dreaming
Get out of my head
Get out of my head
Get out of my head
I keep thinking I'd be better off
If I were dead
If I were dead
If I were dead...

A little man inside my head
Forced me to do his word
Tells me that I'm worth something dead
That I should not be of this world
So.... cut off your head

I keep on dreaming
Get out of my head
Get out of my head
Get out of my head
He tells me I'd be better off
If I were dead
If I were dead
If I were dead

He tells me I should be dead
I'm not worth anything anymore
So I kill the little man instead
Squash his neck, squash some more
I know I'm better off with him dead
With him dead
With him dead...

(6 outcasts | Follow the crowd?)

My Life flicker's like this match in my hand..

[31 Aug 2004|07:16pm]

alivoutofhabit

[

mood

okay

]

( Weak & Powerless Collapse )

(Follow the crowd?)

Welcome, once more.

[30 Aug 2004|12:51pm]

bohemianxqueen

Hello, I am the other maintainer of this here community. As always, welcome. A little bit of unknown information about me: I am your not-so-typical emopunk, concerned as much with the troubling state of today's world as with the emotions and the depression that makes us all that much more creative, dark and who we truly are inside. I enjoy the music of Radiohead, The Mars Volta and more independent rock bands. I hope you can make yourselves comfortable here, get to know others unlike you, but also unlike the others who would be more comfortable in the mainstream. Discover something new, and help people discover what makes you you.

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