A cop pulled over a car that was going 20 m.p.h. over the posted speed limit.
“Do you know why I stopped you?” he asked the driver.
“No, officer,” said the man.
“You were doing 75 in a 55 mile an hour zone,” said the cop.
“Oh, no, officer,” said the driver. “I was going 55.”
The man’s wife, who was sitting next to him, rolled her eyes.
“That’s a lie,” she said. “He was way over the limit. He hit the brakes when he saw your cop car on the side of the road.”
The driver gave his wife a nasty look.
“You also have a broken tail light,” said the cop.
“A broken tail light?” said the man. “I didn’t know I had a broken tail light.”
“That’s a lie, too,” said his wife. “He’s known about that tail light for weeks.”
The man gave his wife an even nastier look.
“You’re also not wearing your seat belt,” said the cop.
“I was wearing it,” said the driver. “But I took it off after I pulled over, in case you asked me to get out of the car.”
“Don’t listen to him,” said his wife. “He never wears a seat belt.”
The driver was furious. He turned to his wife and shouted “Shut up, you idiot!”
The cop looked at the woman sympathetically.
“Ma’am, does your husband always talk to you like this?” he asked.
“No, not always,” she said. “Only when he’s drunk.”
Posted by bluebird of bitterness 
bluebird of bitterness 
I can’t brain today, I have the dumb
July 15, 2025Pro tip: If you feel you must steal a bike, at least don’t do it right in front of the police station.
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