I was hiding under your porch because I love you.

• who is more likely to fall asleep on the couch

Alex is, for the most part. You turn your back on Alex for one second and he's fast asleep on the nearest comfortable piece of furniture. Nicky likes the ritual of getting ready for bed: washing his face and brushing his teeth and reading a chapter of the latest Swedish best seller (in physical format, no screen time right before bed).Falling asleep on the couch just throws all of that off and he wakes up feeling grumpy and out of sorts. But if Alex is up playing video games, Nicky is the one who passes out on the sofa. Even a shirtless Alex yelling things at the TV can't make Fortnite interesting.

• who makes meals and who is more likely to hoard take-out menus

During the season, neither of them are enthusiastic about cooking. Alex is more likely to hoard take-out menus, and Nicky is more likely to reheat something from the meal service. They fight over the grill in the summer, though.

• who gives nicknames

Alex is all about the nicknames -- Nick, Nicky, Backy, babe -- but it's all stuff he'd yell on the ice. Nicky is the one who slips in the occasional älskling or sötnos.

• favorite non-sexual activity

Playing hockey. Does that count? That feeling of scoring a goal together -- Nicky to Alex to the back of the net -- a hot, almost vicious rush of satisfaction and triumph… it's not better than sex, but it's close.

• who leaves notes for the other to find

If by "notes" you mean "shoes full of shaving cream," then Alex.

• who crosses the street to pet a cute dog

Oh, Alex, for sure. Alex specifically crosses the street to do it because he knows Nicky is afraid of dogs.

• who takes notes on the other’s favorite foods and makes sure the fridge is stocked

Honestly, neither of them. The weekly grocery delivery order is a perpetual struggle of sneaking in behind each other's back and adding and deleting things. (It's a struggle they both enjoy.)

But Alex always grabs Nicky's favorite flavor of Gatorade when he gets himself one after practice, and Nicky always knows what to order from room service for Alex when Alex is on the phone with his mom. It's just not something they do consciously.

• who initiates sex most of the time

It's pretty even at this point. Alex is the one who'll make the big, romantic and/or outrageous gesture -- pulling Nicky into a deep, swooning kiss when they pass each other in the hall; throwing himself down on the sofa next to Nicky dressed in nothing but a thong with a rose clutched in his teeth; yelling, "Babe! Babe! Babe! Wanna fuck?" down the stairs.

Nicky is a little more restrained (unless he is outrageous, sloppily, won-the-Cup drunk). He'll touch the small of Alex's back, or the inside of his wrist, and say Alex's name, and his eyes will be dark and hot and intent, and Alex will get hard so fast he feels lightheaded.

• who apologizes first after a fight

Nobody. Sure, if one of them really, truly fucked up, they'll apologize (eventually), but for them, fighting is just another kind of conversation. It passes like a summer thunderstorm and there's nothing to apologize for after.

• who is more protective

Alex is the one you've got to worry about on the ice. (Although there have been several players who were very surprised to get a furious Nicklas Backstrom in their face after they got too up close and personal with Alex.)

Nicky is the one who keeps a shit list of everyone in the media who ever tsked and shook their head and implied or said that Alex was a bad captain, a bad leader, a one dimensional player.

• who says “I love you” first

Ah, well, that depends on the story I'm telling you, doesn't it? How can you have just one headcanon for that? But here's one way it could go:

Alex does, technically, because Alex is the kind of person who says, "I love you, man!" to everyone. Her means it, of course. He means it when he says it to Nicky, the same way he means it when he says it to Semin or Holtby or Oshie (or at least that's what he wants to pretend).

Nicky is the one who says it the way this question means it. They're getting ready for bed, standing side by side at the bathroom sink. They've been sleeping together for a while now without really talking about it. Nicky is watching Alex brush his teeth. Alex is shirtless, wiggling his hips and humming a Russian pop song around his toothbrush, and Nicky's heart feels too big for his chest. Alex meets his eyes in the mirror and raises his eyebrows, what?

"I love you," Nicky says.

Alex chokes on his toothpaste.

Nicky cracks up even as he pounds Alex on the back. Alex spits foam all over the sink and wipes his mouth with his hand.

"Oh, fuck you, when I'm toothpaste," he grumbles, then puts his clean hand on the back of Nicky's head and kisses him, messy and minty.

When they break apart, Nicky isn't laughing anymore.

"I love you," Alex says, and it's not at all like the way he says it to the other guys.