Soft Skills & Emotional Intelligence

I Can Spot a Great Candidate in 30 Seconds - Without Looking at Their Resume. At Vicco Laboratories, the first few interview rounds are handled by our HR and leadership team. They assess skills, experience, performance history - all the standard checkboxes. But when someone reaches my room, I’m not evaluating capability. I’m evaluating character. Because skills can be trained. Character can’t. So in the final round, I deliberately observe three things before we even get into formal questions: 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 1: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦 Before they enter, I always ask our receptionist to make them wait for a few minutes. Not to trouble them — but to observe: Do they greet her or ignore her? Do they show gratitude or entitlement? Do they smile or stay blank? Do they thank her when being called in? If someone is only respectful upwards, they’re not fit for leadership. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 2: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 During the conversation, I pause intentionally. A great candidate: Doesn’t panic when things go quiet Holds eye contact without overcompensating Thinks before responding, instead of rushing to impress Silence is a pressure test.  Silence exposes a person’s comfort with themselves. And self-assured people make better decisions under pressure. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 3: 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐀𝐬𝐤 “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐨”, 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐆𝐞𝐭?” I watch closely when compensation and responsibilities are discussed. If the questions are only about salary, perks and timings, they’re employees. If they ask about learning culture, values, decision-making structure…they are already thinking as an owner. I’ll always choose alignment over achievement. So if you’re ever preparing for your final round anywhere — don’t just prepare your resume. Prepare your presence. Because long after your words fade, your character stays in the room. Sanjeev Pendharkar  Just sharing what I’ve learnt #values #business #hiring #hr #decisionmaking #cv #leadership #skills

One skill separates great communicators from average ones: Perspective-taking. The ability to see things from someone else’s point of view. But most people do it wrong. Here’s how to do it right, especially when you’re leading or being led: When you’re the boss, persuading down: You’re trying to convince Maria on your team to do something different. She’s pushing back. Your instinct might be to assert your authority. But that’s a mistake. Here’s why… Research shows: The more powerful you feel, the worse your perspective-taking becomes. More power = less understanding. So if you want to persuade Maria, don’t lean into your title. Do the opposite: dial your power down, just briefly. Try this: Before the next conversation, remind yourself: Maria has power too. I need her buy-in. Maybe she sees something I don’t. Lower your feelings of power to raise your perspective. From that place, ask: → What does she see that I’m missing? → What might be in her way? → What’s a win-win outcome? That shift changes the entire dynamic. Instead of steamrolling, you’re collaborating. And that’s how you earn trust and results. Now flip it. You’re the employee persuading your boss. It’s a high-stakes moment. You’re nervous. So do you appeal to emotion? No. Drop the feelings. Focus on interests. Here’s the key question: “What’s in it for them?” Not how you feel. Not your big dream. → Will it save time? → Improve performance? → Help them hit their goals? Make it about their world, not yours. Why? Because every boss has a mental shortcut: → Does this employee make my life easier or harder? Be the person who brings clarity, ideas, and upside. Not complaints, drama, or friction. In summary: → Persuading down? Dial down your power to see clearer. → Persuading up? Focus on their interests, not your emotions. Perspective-taking is a superpower, if you learn how to use it. Now practice, practice, practice.

SELF BELIEF > INTELLIGENCE Believing in yourself is often more critical than raw intelligence. Intelligence can sometimes lead to overanalysis, hesitation, and self-doubt, hindering progress. On the other hand, confidence drives action, resilience, and the ability to learn from failures. Balancing intelligence with self-belief enables you to take risks, make decisions, and persevere through challenges. 1. Cultivate Self-Belief: * Affirmations: Start each day with positive affirmations reinforcing your abilities and potential. Statements like "I am capable," "I trust my judgment," and "I can achieve my goals" can boost your confidence. * Celebrate Successes: Keep a journal of your achievements, big or small. Reflecting on past successes can remind you of your capabilities and build your self-esteem.
 2. Manage Overthinking: * Set Time Limits: When faced with a decision, give yourself a specific amount of time to analyse and then commit to a choice. This prevents paralysis by analysis. * Simplify Decisions: Break complex decisions into smaller, manageable parts. Focus on one aspect at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
 3. Embrace Failure: * Learn and Adapt: View failures as opportunities to learn and grow. Analyse what went wrong, adjust your approach, and try again with newfound knowledge. * Resilience Practice: Develop resilience by challenging yourself to step out of your comfort zone regularly. The more you face and overcome challenges, the more confident you will become.
 4. Balance Intelligence with Action: * Trust Your Gut: Sometimes, intuition can guide you better than overanalysis. Learn to trust your instincts and make decisions with confidence. * Take Calculated Risks: Use your intelligence to assess risks, but don’t let fear of failure stop you from taking action. Embrace uncertainty and move forward with confidence.
 5. Seek Support: * Mentors and Peers: Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you and encourage your growth. Seek mentors who can provide guidance and feedback. * Positive Environment: Create an environment that fosters positivity and growth. Minimise interactions with negative influences that may undermine your confidence.
 6. Continuous Improvement: * Lifelong Learning: Commit to continuous learning and self-improvement. Embrace new challenges and opportunities to expand your skills and knowledge. * Set Realistic Goals: Establish achievable goals that push you slightly out of your comfort zone. As you achieve these goals, your confidence will grow.

Avoiding tough talks is a direct path to losing team trust. Here's how top leaders handle conflict: 1/ The Real Problem → Leaders stall, hoping conflict resolves itself → Feedback gets softened until it’s meaningless → The issue festers, and performance suffers 2/ Why It Matters → Projects halt because no one says what needs to be said → The wrong people stay in the room, the right ones leave → Culture declines and misalignment becomes the norm 3/ The CLEAR Framework → Cut the Fluff: Skip the warm-up and get to the point → Label the Behavior: Focus on actions, not identity → Explain the Impact: Make it real, why does it matter? → Ask for Alignment: Invite a response, not a lecture → Recommit or Redirect: Don’t end vague, end with clarity 4/ What Happens Next → Tension goes down, not up → People feel respected, not ambushed → Projects move forward, with trust, not silence 5/ Why You Need This → Leading isn’t about avoiding discomfort → It’s about creating clarity when others won’t → This framework gives you the words to do it right What's your biggest takeaway?

You’re more influenced by the people around you than you think… far more. Social contagion, the process by which emotions, behaviors, and ideas spread through groups, isn’t something that happens only in tight-knit friendships. It happens in workplaces, classrooms, and even through the digital spaces we scroll through daily. Research shows that emotions like happiness and sadness ripple through social networks much like viruses (Rosenquist, Fowler, & Christakis, 2011). In professional settings, behaviors like rudeness or generosity can cascade across entire teams (Foulk et al., 2016). Among students, things like motivation and engagement are surprisingly contagious (Burgess, 2018). And the digital world isn’t exempt. A now-famous Facebook experiment found that users’ emotions could be influenced simply by adjusting the tone of the content they were exposed to (Kramer, Guillory, & Hancock, 2014), without their awareness (ethically questionable). The takeaway is that what surrounds you, both physically and digitally, shapes how you feel, think, and act. Even when you believe you’re making entirely independent decisions, the influence is already at work. So be really conscious of who you’re time with, and how they’re either ‘good’ for you, or not. And if they’re not, try to limit exposure for the sake of your energy, your beliefs, and your motivation. P.S. Would you say you’re aware of who’s really influencing you? Research: Rosenquist, J. N., Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (2011). Social network determinants of depression. Molecular Psychiatry, 16, 273–281. Foulk, T. A., Woolum, A. H., & Erez, A. (2016). Catching rudeness is like catching a cold: The contagion effects of low-intensity negative behaviors. Journal of Applied Psych, 101(1), 50–67. Burgess, L. G., Riddell, P. M., Fancourt, A., & Murayama, K. (2018). The influence of social contagion within education: A motivational perspective. Mind, Brain, and Education, 12(4), 164-174. Kramer, A. D. I., Guillory, J. E., & Hancock, J. T. (2014). Experimental evidence of massive-scale emotional contagion through social networks. PNAS, 111(24), 8788–8790.

I've coached 400+ CEOs. The best ones don't communicate better. They communicate differently. While average leaders wing it, great ones use proven methods that turn conversations into opportunities. After 20+ years studying top performers, I've identified 7 communication systems that separate good from great. (Save this. You'll need it for your next big meeting.) 1. The 3 Levels of Listening Stop listening to reply. Start listening to understand. Level 1: You're thinking about your response Level 2: You're focused on their words Level 3: You're reading the room—energy, tone, silence One CEO used this to uncover why his top performer was really leaving. Saved a $10M account. 2. What? So What? Now What? Transform rambling updates into decisive action. What = The facts (30 seconds max) So What = Why it matters to the business Now What = The specific decision needed Cut meeting time by 40%. 3. PREP Method Never fumble another investor question. Point: Your answer in one sentence Reason: Why you believe it Example: Proof from your business Point: Reinforce your answer Practice this for 5 minutes daily. Sound prepared always. 4. RACI Matrix Kill confusion before it starts. Responsible: Who does the work Accountable: Who owns success/failure (only ONE person) Consulted: Who gives input Informed: Who needs updates Projects with clear RACI are 3x more likely to succeed. 5. Story of Self/Us/Now Move hearts, not just minds. Story of Self: Why YOU care (personal conviction) Story of Us: Our shared challenge Story of Now: The urgent choice we face This framework has helped politicians win. It'll help you raise capital or inspire your team to meet a big goal. 6. The Pyramid Principle Get board approval in half the time. Start with your recommendation Give 3 supporting arguments (max) Order by impact (strongest first) Data goes last, not first McKinsey consultants swear by this. So should you. 7. COIN Feedback Model Make tough conversations productive. Context: When and where it happened Observation: What you saw (facts only) Impact: The business consequence Next: Agreed action steps No more avoided conversations. No more resentment. Your next funding round, key hire, or major deal doesn't depend on working harder. It depends on communicating better. Because in the end, leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about asking better questions, listening deeper, and communicating with precision. Your team is waiting for you to lead like this. P.S. Want a PDF of my Leadership Communication Cheat Sheet? Get it free: https://lnkd.in/dbaSN9fJ ♻️ Repost to help a founder level up their communication. Follow Eric Partaker for more leadership tools.

❄️ What does snow removal have to do with gender equality? Here’s a case from Sweden that will change how you think about "neutral" municipal services. The municipality of Karlskoga decided to examine its snow-clearing practices through a gender lens. What they found was a classic example of how "doing things the way they’ve always been done" can create unintended inequality. Traditional snow plowing prioritized major arteries first, primarily used by men driving to work. Meanwhile, pedestrian walkways, bike paths, and bus stops were cleared last. So they decided to flip the priority. They started clearing paths to daycare centers, schools, and bus stops first. They prioritized pedestrian and cycle networks before the main car roads. Check out this video by SKR Jämställdhet. It’s a masterclass in how small changes in logic create massive changes in lives. 👇 -- There are more examples of Sustainable Gender Equality in the full video—link in the comments.

🗣️“You must be more assertive.” Last year, those five words burned into Amy’s memory. She’d walked out of her 2023 review at XYZ Global determined to “step up.” Speak more in meetings. Push harder on decisions. Stop softening her tone so she wouldn’t intimidate anyone. She did exactly that. Fast forward 12 months. Same conference room. Same 2 VPs across the table. 🔇“You’ve become too intense, need to work on softening your approach.” 😑 Amy stared at them, speechless. Wasn’t that what you asked for last year? Which version of me do you actually want? She thought about the past year: 🤔 The time she challenged a flawed budget forecast in front of the CFO, saving the company $3 million, but earning whispers that she was “abrasive.” 🤔 The time she stepped in to rescue a failing project, praised for her “grit” publicly, yet privately told she “dominated the room.” 🤔 The time she finally got invited to an executive offsite, only to overhear a VP say, “She’s great, but can be… a lot.” This is the tightrope trap senior women walk daily: • Be assertive, but not too assertive. • Be collaborative, but don’t fade into the background. • Be visible, but not “hungry.”    The same behavior praised in men (decisive, strong leader) gets women penalized as abrasive or too much. Until you set the narrative yourself, you’re trapped performing for a moving target. If you’re exhausted from balancing on a wire men don’t even see, here’s how to step off it and still rise. 1. Audit the pattern, not just the feedback • Track every piece of feedback, especially contradiction. Patterns reveal bias. If the goal keeps moving, it's not you! • Phrase to use in review: “Last year I was encouraged to increase my presence; this year I’m told to soften it. Can we clarify what success really looks like?”    2. Control the frame before the room does • Pre‑set the narrative in 1:1s and emails leading up to reviews. I.e., “This year I focused on driving results while bringing the team with me, you’ll see that reflected in project X and Y.” • This primes leadership to view your assertiveness as an intentional strategy, not a personality flaw.    3. Build echo chambers, not just results • Secure 2–3 allies who reinforce your strengths in rooms you’re not in. • Promotions happen in the absence, you need people echoing your narrative, not someone else’s. • Phrase to brief an ally: “If my leadership style comes up in review, can you speak to how I challenge decisions but still align the team?”    Women aren’t just asked to deliver results. They’re asked to perform, decode, and reframe, all while walking a wire men don’t even see. If you’re exhausted from balancing between “too soft” and “too aggressive,” stop walking the wire and start controlling the narrative. Join the waitlist of our next cohort of ⭐ From Hidden Talent to Visible Leaders ⭐ https://lnkd.in/gx7CpGGR 👊 Because leadership shouldn’t feel like an impossible balancing act.

As Duarte grew, I’d hear feedback that decisions were made too slowly, which confused me. In reality, we didn’t have a system to recognize when the team was asking for a decision. We thought they were just informing us, so decisions would languish. We weren’t ignoring them, failing to act, or even making incorrect decisions... We just didn’t realize a decision needed to be made in the first place. It dawned on the exec team that the lack of clarity during the conversation is what slows teams down. Leaders and teams can share the same language for decision-making. Much of it is about shaping recommendations that actually lead to the right type of action and making the urgency clear. Here’s the shift that changed everything… We started mapping every decision against two factors: urgency and risk. Low risk, low urgency: Decide without me. Your team runs with it. Low risk, high urgency: Inform on progress. They update you, but keep driving. High risk, low urgency: Propose for approval. They bring a recommendation, and you decide together. High risk, high urgency: Escalate immediately. You're in it together, right now. Once my team understood which quadrant a decision lived in, they knew exactly how to approach me. And I knew exactly what my role was. The framework gave us a shared language. People can’t act on ideas if they don’t understand how decisions are made. Leaders should define how recommendations move from idea to approval to action. That transparency keeps progress from stalling. Remember: One of the biggest threats to your company isn't a lack of good ideas. It's a lack of clarity. #Leadership #ExecutiveLeadership #OrganizationalCulture #DecisionMaking

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy