fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

(everything)
 

I'm seeing radiohead tonight. I expect this will be a life-changing event.

[

mood

|

creative

]

I’m a sky watcher.

That’s right, I’m constantly monitoring the skies. For what, you might ask? Well, I’ll tell you.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always looked up to the sky above me. I’m always looking up. I’m always aware of something beautiful close to me.

The sun drips into the earth’s core. It is swallowed whole, its blood scattered across the clouds. It gets sucked in every night. It rises again every morning.

A new battle every time.

A reoccurring fight. 

(light)

How much longer can it last?

How much longer can you?

I’m a writer. I’m an artist. I’m a teacher. I’m a lover.

Most of all, I’m alive.

[

mood

|

content

]

 I have a midterm in about an hour
I've been up since 4 am
I've studied for about an hour 
And all I can think about is changes
Good ol' facebook/myspace/lj have allowed me glimpses of how much my friends are changing. how much theyre growing. 
its just amazing in how little time a person can grow so much. i guess its the same with how much sunlight and water you give to a flower the amount it will grow 
henry is laying next  to me, deep asleep. he looks so peaceful, his breathing is smooth and content. 
i can barely focus my mind on a mundane thing as a midterm
my mind just keeps planning for the rest of my day, how i want to go swimming to practice and go shopping for a  gift and paint later tonight and most of all, i'm going to talk to one of my professors about going into a career of humanistic pyschology. i think i really will be an amazing humanisitic psychologist. i think i have an ability to really reach people and i really feel the most complete when im able to connect with an individual and help them reach their potential and deeper understanding. i want to travel across the world and create art and write stories while engaging in the deepest connections with every kind of person and helping helping helping as much as i can in this world. i'm really happy to finally have some sense of what i want to do in life and how i can do it. i've never felt so stable before. i have the most amazing support i can get and for once i feel fully confident in myself that i really CAN do ANYTHING. i can. and so can you. 
of course i have so many things i want to improve like my lack of caring for my midterms and my usage of marijuana and building more friendships and being the me i know i am. 
i've missed writing in my lj. i stopped writing because i didnt like being judged. but i realized that once i accepted myself and that meant accepting everything i write and think even if i may think completely different the next day, its all a part of me and i accept it and love it. 
i feel as though i'm moving into a new phase, a new chapter. you know you always feel that slight shift in your life when you know things need to be changed up because you're ready to grow more. its really cool to notice it. i notice it so much more now. 
i feel so much warmth and content in my heart. i can't help but smile every time i look at him. i wont go into us though because words really can't do it any justice and its nearly impossible to try to explain anything, just know that i have never been happier or felt more complete in a relationship. 
alright i should get back to studying. hah. "studying" oh college. 
:) 
i love you all. please know that even if i haven't been calling you or messaging you or hanging out with you. there's just times when i need just me time to find myself again and then i can be me for you. for me. for you. 

toodles all, have a beautiful day.

[

mood

|

contemplative

]

"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered,
and that my life is fleeing away."